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English
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Published:
2019-11-27
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1,492
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1/1
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i miss you

Summary:

it has already been nine months since yunseong left minhee. minhee has been crying non-stop every night before sleep. whenever he comes home from work, he cried. after he eats, he cried. after showers, he cried. everytime he does something, it will just remind him of yunseong. but minhee knows, it's finally time to move on.

Notes:

based on a song that made me cried ten years ago. (cue avril lavigne: when you're gone.) *listen to this makes everything extra emotional HHH

Work Text:


It's just a normal Sunday morning, but Minhee's heart feel heavier than usual. He's not sure why, maybe because of his pills intake these days? He shrugs.

"I think I should stop taking those sleeping pills.." Minhee mumbles to himself.

Suddenly, there's a knock on his front door. Minhee went out from his bedroom, to the front door to see who it is. When he opens the door, he was greeted by two army officers.

 

Minhee just smiles at them as he speaks first, "May I help you?"

One of the officers speaks, "I am LTC Cha Junho. Beside me is LTC Keum Donghyun. Is this Mr. Kang Minhee's house?"

Minhee nodded, "Yes. I am Kang Minhee. Seeing by how your outfit looks like, you must be my husband's co-workers?"

Donghyun looks down, when Minhee mentioned about his husband. Junho takes a deep breath as he shows a neatly folded military uniform on top of his hands. Minhee just gives them a confused look, "What? Whose uniform is this?"

Donghyun finally speaks, "It is Colonel Hwang Yunseong's uniform."

Minhee raises his eyebrows, still not understanding the current situation. "Oh? Why are you giving me this? I mean, you guys are his co-workers, why don't you just give it to him? Oh! Is it because he's now outstation? Is this his new uniform?" Minhee takes Yunseong's uniform from Junho's hands. Minhee finally realised there's a dog tag inside the uniform. Minhee suddenly remembers about what Yunseong said when he got accepted into the army.

 

 

flashback.

Minhee wrapped himself around Yunseong's waist, not wanting Yunseong to go anywhere far from him.

"You're so clingy." Yunseong chuckles as he sees the now pouty kid looks up at him. Minhee saw Yunseong's necklace on his neck, "Do you guys all have this kind of necklace? It's so cool." Minhee said as he plays with the necklace.

"Yes. Every soldiers all around the world have to wear this. Do you want to know why?"

Minhee nodded.

"Well, you know how some soldiers are always outstationed, protecting smaller countries from threats. And some soldiers, they engage in a war. As for the soldiers in a war, not everyone will survive. This dog tag, they holds a personal information. I'm not jinxing anything, but for example.. Just in case I was found dead, got shot in a war.. Right after the war ended, some officers have to look for bodies and they will identify this dog tag and send me back home, to my own country. If I am dead, army officers will show up at the soldiers' family home, to tell them about the news. That's why."

Minhee pouted, "That's sad.. Please don't leave me, hyung. I don't want any of you soldiers to come here with your uniform. I will never forgive you. Promise?"

Yunseong just smiled at Minhee, "Promise." As they both makes a pinky promise. "Wah, your pinky is so short, it's so hard to seal our thumbs together." Minhee laughed as he plays with Yunseong's short pinky.

end of flashback.

 

Minhee just shook his head, "No.. no, this is not true. You guys are kidding, right?" Minhee looks up to the two man infront of him, tears forming in his eyes.

Junho shakes his head, "I'm really sorry. Colonel Hwang Yunseong's body are now being kept at our military hospital. Tomorrow is the funeral. It will be held at 8 in the morning, we're expecting you to come." Junho said as he and Donghyun bowed 90° at Minhee.

Minhee closes the door behind him, falling down on the floor as tears keep falling down on his cheeks.

"No.. no this isn't happening. Hyung, you promised me..." Minhee began to bawl, as he keeps hitting himself in the chest feeling suffocated.

 


 

It's been nine months since Yunseong left Minhee. Minhee has been crying non-stop every night. Sometimes, his friends will come over to check on Minhee, to distract Minhee from being sad. They keep telling Minhee to move on. For the sake of Yunseong too.

Minhee also agrees with his friends suggestion, but he would ended up crying infront of his friends. It seems like everything he does, he feels like Yunseong is always there, somewhere watching him.

 

Minhee was just cleaning up his house as usual, when he discovers an unopened box. It was Yunseong's stuffs from military. Minhee sighs, looking at the box.

He decided to check out what's inside the box since it has been sitting in the corner of his living room for nine months.

 

He opened the box, as he sees some photos of him and Yunseong. Tears started to form, he keeps looking for more photos of them.

Minhee sniffles, "I miss you, hyung.. I wish you were here, now with me.. looking at all these photos of us.." Minhee said as he wipes his wet cheeks.

He also discover a letter. 'For: Kang Minhee, my love.'

 

the letter.

kang minhee. my love. my baby. my life. my everything. hehe. i love you.

if you're reading this, that probably means... i'm not here anymore? i'm just gonna say it. i'm dead. haha. funny. okay, no it's not funny.

okay how i wish i type this instead of writing, now i can't erase that and i'm lazy to start another new letter. first of all. i'm really sorry, baby.

i know i promised you about not leaving your side, about not wanting to have soldiers showing up on your doorstep.. with my uniform. *sighs* wait, did i really just wrote sighs? okay whatever.

i'm really not sure why i decided to write this letter, but i don't know? i keep having weird feelings these days and just! in! case! i'm not around anymore, i really should write a letter for you first. at least, you will feel less lonely now that you see this handwriting of me. hehehe

i'm not sure about how you will cope yourself when i'm not around anymore, but minhee.. i really hope you're doing fine. if you're going to date another guy, i don't mind! haha, i'm not sure myself. i might get jealous, though... BUT what i'm trying to say here is, i will always be there in your heart. i don't want you to cry all the time. it's unhealthy for you and the dead me. WAIT THATS NOT FUNNY YUNSEONG OH GOD STOP

i've known you for more than ten years now, minhee. if you can't handle this very well.. i really really hope you move on, start a new life. if you wants to move out from our house, just move out, okay? oh my boss just called so i guess i'm going to continue this letter later! i have a lot to say about my new work place here! wait okay!

end.

 

Minhee continues to cry as he read the last part of the letter. "I guess this letter just ends there. Why did you wrote this letter in the first place? You're making things more hard for me..."

Minhee has been reading Yunseong's letter over and over in his bed, having tissues all over the bed and the floor.

His eyes are all swollen from crying too much. Few minutes later, he's now fast asleep with Yunseong's letter in his hand.

 


 

It has been a year already, since Yunseong left. Today is his anniversary day. Minhee decided to stop by at the cemetery.

 

"I can't believe a year has passed, hyung." Minhee started crying infront of Yunseong's grave. "I've been crying so much for the past nine months, and when I read your letter.." Minhee chuckles as he remembers the letter, "..you're so dumb. You're making me cry even more... But I've thought about it a lot. I'm guessing, it's finally time to move on. It's for the best too.. But don't worry, I'm not going to date another guy. No one can replace you in my heart. You just locked yourself in my heart, and it's hard to unlock it." Minhee stands up, placing a bouquet of white orchids on top of Yunseong's grave.

 

Minhee arrived home an hour later, making sure all his stuffs is in his car. He then checks out every room, to make sure it's all clear. He calls the landlord of his house, "Mr. Kim, I'm done packing up my stuffs. I will just put the keys under the mat at the front door, okay? Thank you." Minhee said as he ends the phone call.

 

Before he closes the door, he looks back at the now empty house, taking a deep breath, "It was great living here. All the memories we've made in here, please keep it and don't let it out. I'm going to miss this place a lot." He holds his tears back as he closes the door. He gets into his car, take a one last look at his old house, driving away to start a new life.

 

the end.