Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Haruka Nanase was having a bad day.

In all honesty, Haruka had been having a bad week. Ever since his realisation over lunch one afternoon, he had tried to go through his everyday motions as usual but for the last few days he had been even more distracted than normal, he responded even less to his friends when they got in touch with him, and he had even missed shifts at his job, too lost in thought to keep track of time.

It was only when he burned his dinner for the third night in a row however, that he knew he had to do something about his wandering mind.

Over the last week, he had come to terms with his feelings and accepted the fact that he had a crush on Makoto. If he thought about it, it was actually a surprise that he hadn't realised it sooner. He felt more comfortable around him than practically anyone else. He seemed to understand Haruka inside and out, knowing precisely when to give him space and when he needed a push. Makoto was a physical comfort too, and Haruka found himself searching for any excuse to make contact with him instead of passively avoiding it the way he did with everyone else. He trusted him utterly, and he knew Makoto trusted him just as much.

But that didn't mean he had to like it. This crush was making things very complicated. He knew it wasn't something that he could just ignore but it was interfering with every other aspect of his life, and he had to make a decision about what to do.

There were only two real options that Haruka could take, in his own estimation.

The first, and most obvious, would be to tell Makoto how he felt. The thought of just getting it off of his chest was tempting but for the last couple of days he had been thinking about the kind of problems confessing would cause. To begin with, he couldn't be sure that he would be able to express himself correctly. He had enough trouble trying to get his apology across clearly to Makoto; with something this important he wanted to be absolutely sure he could say it properly.

Another problem that plagued his mind was how Makoto would react to his admission. Haruka wondered if he would actually understand what he meant. He had no idea if Makoto's culture actually embraced the idea of romantic relationships or if they just went through the natural process of rearing young like the animal they borrowed their colouring from. Given what Makoto had told him about his family however, that particular worry was fleeting.

He could reject him of course, which would hurt. Now that Haruka had accepted his own feelings he wasn't keen on having them shut down. Not to mention how awkward it would make things between the two of them, and with Makoto in the final crucial stages of healing it wasn't as if they could avoid each other. Makoto would be so kind about it too. Haruka could already hear his voice apologising and reassuring him that they could still be friends.

The worst possible thing however would be if Makoto felt like he had to accept Haruka's feelings because of his situation. Backed into a corner and stuck on dry land, he might feel as if he didn't have any choice but to reciprocate Haruka's feelings in order to keep himself safe from exposure. The thought of Makoto forcing himself sent a pang of heartbreak through Haruka's chest even if it only existed as a possibility in his head, but he still had to consider it. With Makoto as much of an over-thinker as he was, it was certainly feasible.

The idea of Makoto actually returning his affection if he confessed was the possibility he thought about the least. Not only because he got flustered whenever he imagined it, or because he doubted it would actually happen but also because if, by some miracle, Makoto felt the same way about him, Haruka saw it as a simpler and quicker resolution to the whole emotional debacle.

His other option was, of course, to say nothing. To keep his feelings pressed deep down inside of himself and never voice them out loud.

He could do that easily. Expressing himself had never been his forte, and with a feeling as big and complex as his crush, which made him blush to even think about, he had no clue how he would even begin to verbalise it. It would be as innate as breathing to never say a word about it, not to mention that it was the simplest solution to the issue.

Besides which, confessing to Makoto, regardless of his response, would undeniably change the way the two of them functioned and if there was one thing repulsed Haruka more than anything it was change. Accommodating Makoto's presence into his life had in and of itself been a huge upheaval of all that he had known and now that they had firmly established a comfortable routine, Haruka was loathe to disrupt it for anything.

Really, keeping his mouth shut about his crush was his best option if he wanted things to stay the way they were.

The problem with this of course, was that it left Haruka feeling completely unsatisfied. He had just accepted the reality of his own feelings and wasn't keen on pretending they didn't exist. It didn't seem reasonable to him to be struck by such a huge revelation and then to do nothing about it.

His mind turned through these same loops of thought over and over again. Each argument he could come up with seemed to have an equal amount of pros and cons, and he was split in two by his choices. His indecisiveness just lead to more inaction, and he grew more and more frustrated as the week went on.

His introspective mood went unnoticed by everyone, except the one person who he specifically didn't want to notice it. Makoto had been giving him space over the past few evenings when he got too wrapped up in his own thoughts but every time he left him for the night, he would ask the same question.

“Are you alright Haru?”

He would assure him that he was.

“Are you sure?”

That question was always asked in a quiet voice and after a brief pause. Haruka would give him a firm nod as he turned his back to him, afraid that he might hear a lie in his voice.

It was odd however, Haruka noted internally as he made his way down to Makoto's cove on the morning of the seventh day since he had realised his feelings. Despite the fact that all of his current troubles were stemming from Makoto himself, his mind was more clear when he was with him than anywhere else. All his options over what could be done to fix them remained as background noise in his mind as he sat beside Makoto on the beach as opposed to how they buzzed around his skull distractedly when he was anywhere else.

Haruka took in a deep breath of the cool morning air as he approached the pile of boulders that he had to climb in order to get to the small inlet, and let it out again with a huff of laughter as he spotted a tuft of brown hair peeking out over it. Makoto must already have pulled up the nets and was waiting for Haruka to join him for breakfast.

Warm with that knowledge, his shoulders loosened up and his heart rate calmed slightly. In that moment Haruka felt that regardless of the decision he eventually came to, he trusted Makoto enough that they would both be able to handle the consequences and not panic.

When Haruka got to the top of the boulder pile and got a look at Makoto who was sitting upright against it, he realised that he was panicking.

Makoto's face was pale and had a bright sheen of sweat, and his breath was coming in fast, shallow gulps. Rather than leaning against the rocks at his back he was practically pressed up to them like he was trying to hide in them. His tail was curled tightly under him as if he could make himself smaller. His wide, fearful gaze darted between whatever was frightening him so badly on the beach and Haruka who was staring at him shocked and incredibly worried.

“H-Haru... help,” He hissed in a whisper.

Haruka turned to look over the inlet to see what had scared him, scanning for any tell-tale signs that another human had found Makoto, that a boat had drifted too far from the docks and stumbled across his cave, praying desperately that he would be able to protect his friend. After a moment of frantically searching the shore and sea however, Haruka still couldn't see anything.

He swung a leg over the top of the boulder pile and stood up higher on it to see further. Still, there was nothing amiss. He turned to look at Makoto a question written all over his face. With a shaky finger, Makoto pointed down to one of the nets he had pulled to shore. Haruka looked down and finally saw the problem; there was a lump moving erratically under it. For a moment, he got a bizarre image of a deep-sea diver tangled up in rope but it was too small for that. It was probably just a drowning fish putting up a bit of a fight but he didn't think Makoto would be so skittish over something like that. Soundlessly, he climbed down the rock pile and approached the net with caution.

“Haru! Be careful!” Makoto called from behind him, still cringing into the stone.

It was difficult to tell because of its shuffling and squirming but up close the lump looked to about as long as Haruka's forearm. He could also hear a strange gulping sound coming from it. Something that small probably wasn't a threat but Makoto's panicky mood had affected him and his hand shook a little as he reached for the corner of the net. He took a deep, steadying breath to brace himself before he pulled sharply and whipped it off the lump.

A little white cat, which was busy eating a fat hake, mewled in protest at the interruption.

Haruka stared nonplussed. The cat was at that gangly stage between kitten and adult and its white fur was slightly grey with dirt. It must have been a stray. Haruka wondered if it was related to any of the ones that hung around his neighbourhood. Regardless of that, it clearly wasn't a threat and all the tension Haruka felt drained out of his body in an instant. It had probably been attracted by the smell of fresh fish and gotten stuck in the net. He shook his head, exasperated at himself for getting so caught up in Makoto's frantic behaviour. He looked over his shoulder to reassure him and saw Makoto still crouched against the rock pile and staring at the creature like it had pulled a knife on him.

“It's only a cat,” Haruka told him, crouching down in front of it.

“O-oh... Is that what it's called?” Makoto sounded like he cared more about how much distance he could put between himself and it than what its name was.

Haruka nodded and held his hand towards the cat in a loose fist. Having just finished eating, it stretched out its neck to sniff at him curiously. After a moment of inspection, it apparently found him worthy and rubbed its face against his knuckles with a low purr. Haruka couldn't hold back a smile.

It slipped off his face abruptly however when Makoto suddenly seized him around the waist with one hand and pulled him back and up until he was lined up against his collarbone. His other hand rose to press against his shoulder.

“Oof! Makoto-”

“Haru! Haru, are you hurt? Are you okay? It touched you!” Makoto screeched just above his ear.

He tried to shake him off which would have been a hopeless endeavor even if he wasn't dizzy from being wrenched several feet into the air.

“ 'm fine, put me down!” He demanded.

Makoto didn't seem to hear him, only clutching him tighter.

The little cat, for its part, didn't seem fazed by all the fuss and noise and had gone back to sniffing the net for scraps.

“Are you sure you're okay? That was so close! What does it want anyway?” Makoto asked too rapidly for him to answer.

Haruka pulled one of his arms out of Makoto's tight grip and tried to push his hand away.

“Food? Shelter? I-I don't know! It's only a cat, Makoto! It's not like its going to hurt you!” He complained, whacking the flat of his palm against Makoto's fingers.

After a brief pause, Makoto grip on him loosened a little.

“It's not?” He asked him in a small voice.

Haruka stopped trying to squirm out of his hand and craned his neck to look him in the eye. Makoto licked his bottom lip nervously and blinked rapidly looking in-between Haruka and the cat. He wasn't quite convinced, Haruka could see.

“It's not going to hurt you,” He told him again, calmer than before, “Or me.”

Makoto's hand flexed a little around his torso and he saw him bite his lip.

“I'll show you,” He murmured, laying his hand softly over a finger.

Makoto took a deep breath and set him carefully back down on the sand. Haruka pulled his shirt down from where it had gotten tugged upward and tried to ignore the slight ache in his ribs. He heard Makoto mutter an apology as he crouched down again just in front of him and called for the cat with his hand outstretched.

The cat's ears perked up as soon as he started making a soft fssh-fssh noise and bounded up to him, smelling his hand again. Just as he wondered how used it was to people, it gave him an answer as it mewled loudly and began to rub itself against every part of his body that it could reach.

He could see Makoto tensing up from the corner of his eye as it got nearer and he turned to give him a calm look.

“It's harmless,” He assured him and backed up his claim by stroking his hand down the cat's back, making it mewl again.

He did that for a few minutes, just petting it (her, he amended his thoughts after checking under her tail) and letting her rub her scent on him. Eventually he stood and walked over to the net, pulling a few minnows out of it to toss to the little cat, who pounced on them delightedly.

When he looked back at Makoto, he was relieved to see that he had finally calmed down a bit. He wasn't curled in on himself and he stopped shaking. He leaned forward to watch the cat eat.

“I've never seen a land animal before,” He confessed quietly, “Just fish and seabirds... and air-breathers like me... You said it was called a cat?”

Haruka nodded, a little ashamed for getting so exasperated with him. If he had suddenly seen some deep water creature he had never heard of before, he supposed that he might be frightened too.

“Humans keep them as pets sometimes but this one is a stray.”

“Pets?”

“There are some animals that humans keep in their homes,” He explained, “For company mostly.”

Makoto furrowed his brow at the idea, thinking heavily on it.

“In the pod...” He spoke after a length, “We're taught that the only reason an animal would ever approach you is if it wanted to eat you... And that that was also the only reason you should ever go near an animal for-”

He snapped his mouth shut as the cat suddenly rubbed up against him. One of the minnows had landed near his tail and after she had eaten it, the cat had given him a little sniff before doing so. She arched her back against him and made a quiet rumbling sound. Makoto stayed completely still until she wandered off again in Haruka's direction hoping for more fish.

“You really thought she would eat you?” He asked him, kneeling down to scratch behind her ears.

“Yes... Well, I mean, I wasn't sure and... better safe than sorry, right?”

Makoto was starting to hunch over himself again.

“You're over twenty times her size,” Haruka couldn't help but point out, “How could she?”

Makoto lowered his head and avoided looking at him.

“I thought maybe... since its so small... it might bite me and be... um, venomous...?”

As Makoto spoke, he seemed to be realising the foolishness of what he was saying and Haruka saw his cheeks and ears gain a bright red colour as he grew more embarrassed with each word. Haruka fought very hard against the laugh rising in his throat.

“That... makes sense,” He tried to say as he swallowed it down, “If you didn't know what it was... and that- that was all you had been told about strange ani- animals- pfft!”

The absurdity of the whole scenario hit him and he let out a snort of laughter involuntarily. Makoto's head shot up suddenly and stared at him.

“Haru!” He cried, scandalised, “Don't laugh at me!”

Haruka took one look at his pink, pouting face and he was done for. He began to laugh out loud, genuine belly-aching laughter that he hadn't experienced in a very long time. It spilled out of him and he was powerless to stop it. From above him, he heard Makoto's voice whining at him to stop. He felt Makoto's hand fall onto his back and shake him slightly to try and get him to do so. When it didn't work, Makoto shoved him over until he was lying sideways on the sand, still giggling helplessly.

The cat, seemingly offended by the sudden noise, wandered back to the nets leaving them to it.

This was exactly what he had been thinking about for the last week, this bubbling feeling that filled him to the brim with warmth. It overwhelmed him in the best possible way in that moment, leaving him as breathless as his laughter did and unlike the times where he was alone, he did not burn his food or neglect his duties. With Makoto near him, all his problems seemed so insignificant, fading away underneath the knowledge that he was truly happy to be exactly where he was.

He hadn't even realised happiness had been absent from his day-to-day life until it had returned to him.

When he finally stopped laughing, Makoto heaved his body away from the rock pile and lay down on his stomach beside Haruka. He tried to glare at him but it was tempered with a smile that he couldn't hide. Even as he caught his breath, Haruka gave him a dazzling one in return.

“You're a bully,” Makoto announced after a minute had passed.

Haruka rolled over closer to Makoto then propped himself up on his elbows. He poked his arm.

“And you're ridiculous,” He retorted.

Makoto chuckled softly at that, the final few traces of his blush fading away.

“Good morning, by the way,” He said, with a smirk, “I didn't get to say that earlier.”

“No, you were too busy panicking about housepets.”

Makoto nudged into him with his elbow, knocking him over again. Haruka brushed the sand off his arms with a huff while Makoto stuck out his tongue unapologetically. Haruka sat up straight and stretched his arms upright before smirking right back at him.

“In any case,” He said, “Good morning.”

Makoto's smirk morphed into a cheerful smile. It faded a little however as his gaze drifted over Haruka's shoulder. He turned his head to see the cat playing with one of the nets, chewing and kneading on the thick rope.

“How much do cats eat?” Makoto asked him, despairingly.

“She had a whole fish so she's probably full, why?” Haruka turned back to him.

“I haven't eaten yet...” He whined.

Haruka let out a snort.

“I'm sure she saved you a few scraps.”

Makoto grumbled a complaint under his breath. His lament reminded Haruka however that he hadn't eaten yet either. Sharing breakfast was what he had come to the beach to do after all, before he had been distracted. He opened up the messenger bag slung across his shoulders and pulled out the box he had put his breakfast in last night. The second he cracked it open, the cat rushed over to him enticed by the strong smell of cooked fish.

“No,” He told her firmly, pushing her away from the open box, “You've already had your fill, this is mine.”

Makoto watched him curiously and even managed to smile as the cat pawed at Haruka for his attention and moved over to his other side to see if she could get at his food that way.

“Does she understand you?” He wondered out loud.

“No,” Haruka replied, “Even if she did, she wouldn't listen anyway. Cats are very willful.”

The cat reinforced what he said by trying to jump into his lap.

“Ahh, that must be why it likes you so much then,” Makoto murmured.

Haruka turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

“Well you've told me often enough, haven't you?” He explained with a grin, “You never do anything you don't want to. You're pretty willful yourself.”

Haruka stared at him blankly for a moment before plucking a sliver of mackerel from his meal and flicking it onto Makoto's arm. The cat immediately leapt at it and lapped eagerly at his skin.

“Haru!” He hissed at him staying stock still, “That's just proving my point!”

The cat finished giving him a tongue bath and bumped her head against his arm purring loudly. He watched her carefully but didn't tense up like he had earlier. Haruka was surprised that his size hadn't scared her but the cat seemed as starved for attention as she was for food.

“Pet her,” He said apropos of nothing.

Makoto looked up at him with surprise. Haruka nodded encouragingly.

“...How?” Makoto asked after a moment of contemplation.

Haruka felt a spark of pride at his willingness to try and began to explain.

“Just move your hand-,” He paused, taking in the size of Makoto's hand as he started to raise it, “Maybe just a finger. Put it on her head and stroke down her back. Gently.”

At a glacial pace, Makoto lowered his index finger onto the cat's head. It was slightly bigger than it and the cat froze as he touched her carefully. He dragged his finger along her spine slowly and as soon as she registered the movement, she arched into it purring even louder than before. A small smile bloomed across his face and he repeated the action easily.

Haruka couldn't hold back his own smile as he watched him. Makoto had faced a lot of fears over the months that he had been injured; from having to deal with the wound itself, to the threats of starvation and exposure, to confronting everything he had known about humans. He had grown so much in such a short time. Instead of trying to hide his fears, he could now face them with caution and care. Haruka felt privileged to have seen it happen. He spent the next few minutes basking in the warm glow of pride and affection.

Eventually Makoto retracted his hand and the cat wandered down the side of his tail, rubbing up against it all the way.

“What's that noise she's making?” He asked, following her with his eyes.

“It's called purring,” Haruka answered him, “Means she happy.”

“Hmm...”

Makoto's gaze flicked from the cat to Haruka and stayed on him for a moment before he spoke again, colour rising in his cheeks.

“... Do humans like to be petted, Haru?” He murmured softly.

A flash of phantom sensation passed over Haruka, fingertips brushing against the crown of his head, and he felt heat rising up in him. He turned his face away from Makoto.

“No,” He said firmly.

A brief silence then.

“Oh.”

Haruka convinced himself that he was imagining the tone of disappointment he thought he heard.

“You should eat,” He muttered, looking down at his own breakfast and picking at it.

Without a word, Makoto dragged his body around to the nets and began to pick out fish. The next few minutes were spent in silence as they ate but the quiet helped to dispel the little spark of tension that had sprung up between them after Makoto's question. It helped that the cat distracted them by bounding back over to the nets as soon as Makoto touched them, and got in his way begging for more food.

“No!” He scolded her after he had eaten his fill, “Look, I'm throwing them back out now! So no more.”

He sat upright and gathered the nets in his arms.

“Careful,” Haruka warned him as he put his own finished breakfast away.

“I know, I know,” Makoto said dismissively.

Ever since he had thrown his back out a couple of weeks ago, Haruka constantly warned him not to strain himself too much, and took on the duty of reeling in and casting out the nets whenever he could. Despite Makoto's grumblings about it however, he had taken Haruka's words to heart and kept any and all physical activities to an easy minimum.

He tossed the nets to sea without excessive force and let them drift out to their prime position. He turned back to Haruka with as smug a look as he could manage while still seeming sweet, as though he had just won an argument Haruka didn't know they were having. He lay back on his stomach again by his side and let out a relaxed sigh.

The little cat wandered around where the two of them sat for a few minutes more but finding no more food and apparently having had her fill of pets, she wandered away from them, clambering up the rock pile and disappearing over the top. Haruka watched her curiously.

“Is that the way she came?” He asked Makoto.

“I have no idea,” Makoto's sigh was more weary this time, “I had just pulled the nets up and I saw her sitting right next to me. I panicked and threw the net over her... Then you showed up. Why do you ask?”

Haruka shrugged.

“It's a strange place for a stray to come looking for food, kind of out of the way... Besides cats don't like water.”

Makoto hummed contemplatively.

“I guess will find out why if she comes back,” Haruka offered.

“Ehh?” Makoto cried, “She's coming back?”

“Oh, with a free meal like she just got? Definitely,” Haruka teased him.

“Oh no, once was enough...”

“She might even bring friends next time.”

“Haru, knock it off!”

He laughed again, not quite as boisterously as before but still audibly. This time, Makoto joined in.

After they had quietened down, they spent the several serene minutes watching the light of the morning sun catch off of the edges of the incoming waves and make them gleam.

“Okay,” Haruka eventually murmured to himself, standing up and dusting his trousers off.

In response, Makoto put his head down on his folded arms and lay as flat as he could. Haruka walked around to his fin and began to unwind the day-old bandages wrapped around it. They were so used to the procedure by now that they went through the motions without thinking about them.

“How is it today?” He asked Makoto automatically, expecting the same response of 'still sore' that he usually got.

“Actually, it feels pretty good!” Makoto said cheerfully, surprising him.

Haruka's hands stilled on the fin.

“Really?”

“Yeah! When I woke up this morning, I did my stretches to work out the normal aches and pains and since then, I've barely felt anything!”

He sounded so proud that Haruka took off the rest of the bandages as quickly as possible, eager to see for himself. Ever since it had re-opened, the wound had appeared to scab over quickly enough but Haruka had been especially careful when handling it just to be sure. In the couple of weeks that had passed however, the lymph-filled scab had given way to more dense-looking scar tissue and that was what Haruka saw as he finally removed the gauze. From a distance the fin looked completely normal apart from the few inches of flesh missing from its base, up close however, Haruka could see the slightly raised and discoloured tissue marring the space where the hook had cut through it.

He still felt a small welling of guilt in his gut whenever he saw it. He never would have met Makoto if he hadn't been injured but that didn't mean he was grateful for it. The sound of someone who was now so dear to him screaming in agony was a noise he would never be able to forget.

Haruka shook of his melancholy and tried to focus. With a feather-light touch, he ran his index finger across the injury.

“How's that?” He asked softly.

Makoto shook his head, grinning.

“Can't feel it,” He answered.

“Good. Hold still.”

Carefully, Haruka braced his arms against Makoto's side and pulled himself up onto his back. He swung his leg over his waist and sat facing the dorsal fin. He gently placed his palms on either side of it and pressed inward, testing it for pain as a whole.

“And that?”

“It's fine!” Makoto responded brightly.

Haruka nodded to himself and turned around smoothly while sitting, laying his hands flat on Makoto's back.

“How are your muscles?” He asked, dragging them back and forth.

“They're great!” Makoto sounded prouder with each answer he gave, “I think all our little exercise sessions have helped me bulk up haha!”

Even though he was joking, Haruka couldn't help but run his eye over his bulging deltoids and agree.

“So there's no pain at all?” He was genuinely surprised; the reality of Makoto's injury had become as much of a fixture in his life as Makoto himself.

“Nope, none at all!” Makoto looked at him over his shoulder with an irresistible smile.

“...That's incredible!” Haruka felt the corners of his mouth turn up automatically.

Haruka was no doctor but without any pain and with the wound completely healed over, he could safely say that Makoto was healed. The thought was dazzling. It felt like it had been another lifetime when he had first found Makoto in this inlet, when he had desperately racked his brain to think of a way to keep him alive. When he first tended to his fin, he wasn't sure if it would ever get better, yet here they were.

He slipped off of Makoto's back and dashed around to his head.

“And you're good? You feel good? You're okay?” He asked quickly, wanting to double-check, wanting to be absolutely certain.

Makoto laughed at his frantic tone.

“Yes, Haru, I feel very good,” He assured him.

“...Wow.”

“Yeah...”

All they could do was stare at each other smiling brightly, the impact of all their effort and hard work culminating in that moment.

“So um, do you think...” Makoto's grin faded slightly as he spoke, “Do you think I can swim again soon?”

Haruka's smile got bigger at the mere suggestion.

“Yes!”

“Really?” Makoto shot up from his lax position, beaming.

“Yes, really,” Haruka promised, “Maybe another day of rest, just to be sure... but I think you're ready.”

Makoto covered his mouth with his hands, laughing giddily. His gaze flickered from Haruka to the shining expanse of ocean over his shoulder. His eyes caught the light bouncing off of the water and made them glow.

“I can't believe it! I'm really... I can't wait to go and get back out there!” He cried joyfully.

Haruka's own happiness was suddenly slapped out of him by his statement, like a cold wave crashing over his head.

When Makoto got back to the sea again, when he wasn't confined to this tiny part of Iwatobi anymore, Haruka had no idea where he would go. Back to his family, probably. He couldn't even begin to imagine that he would stay. This place was the site of one of the most terrible things to ever happen to him, a place of pain and fear. Judging from the euphoria on his face, once he got back into the water Haruka didn't think he would ever willingly leave it again.

And where that would leave the two of them, Haruka almost couldn't bear to think of. There was no doubt that Makoto would be grateful. He could hear him thanking him over and over again, before turning tail and disappearing into the sea. Sure, they may have been friends but once he was back with his pod, Haruka knew Makoto would dare risking their exposure again. He would leave their relationship behind with sadness but not regret.

At least that solves your problem, some bitter voice in the back of his mind spoke up. There was no point in worrying about what to do with his feelings when the object of them would soon abandon him.

Haruka had to turn away from Makoto for a moment, staring out at the water and trying to swallow his heartbreak. It burned him from the inside out but he managed somehow. Makoto was happy, that was all that mattered. This wasn't about him. It never had been.

Eventually he turned back to Makoto who had laid his head down on his arms again, still smiling serenely.

“Haru?” He called.

“Hmm?”

“Can I try tomorrow? Swimming, I mean?” He asked, “It will have to be at night because of your fisher-boats but-”

“I can't,” Haruka interrupted him, “Friends are coming over to my house tomorrow night.”

He felt guilt surge through him even though he wasn't lying. Nagisa had gotten in touch two days ago to ask him when he was available to talk through Rei's new swimming lesson plan and over the course of the conversation, ended up invited himself, Rei and Rin over for dinner tomorrow night. He lowered his gaze and apologised quietly.

Makoto's smile never faltered.

“Don't be sorry, Haru, it's fine,” There wasn't a trace of disappointment in his tone, “The next night then. Is that okay?”

Still not looking at him, Haruka nodded.

After a drawn-out moment of silence, Makoto called his name again and he still couldn't drag his head up.

“I-I have another question,” He said softly, “When... when I do swim...” He swallowed, “Will you swim with me, Haru?”

That got his attention. Haruka's head shot right up and he stared right at him. Makoto's cheeks were pink and his smile had gotten smaller.

“O-Only if you want to!” He stammered, “It's just... You did p-promise... That you would show me...”

Haruka racked his brain for the memory.

They had been on this beach, he thought, not in the cave. His exams had finished but it was before the big storm, he was sure. Yes, it was coming back to him. They had been talking about how Rei's lessons and how odd Makoto found it that humans had to be taught how to swim, and then he had asked...

“Oh! I did promise,” Haruka nodded in agreement.

Makoto grinned sheepishly.

“So... will you?”

Haruka considered it.

He hadn't really swam since that night on the beach, and with the summer storms having passed, it was the perfect weather for it. He looked Makoto over assessingly. It would be a nice send-off too, a final sweet experience with him, a chance to bid goodbye to his feelings properly. Gathering up his courage, he gave Makoto a small smile.

“Of course I'll swim with you,” He pledged.

Makoto's face lit up even brighter than before and he cheered out loud.

“Thank you, Haru! Thank you so so much! Now I really can't wait!! Haha!”

He started giggling, actually giggling, like an excited child and hid his face in his folded arms to try and stifle it. It was infectious and Haruka found himself chuckling too, reaching out to ruffle Makoto's hair. His laughter faded long before Makoto's but he stayed where he was with his hand on his head, and smiled.

There was a warmth in his chest when he saw him so happy, even as something cold threatened to engulf his heart with the knowledge that soon it would all be over.

~~

“Ahh, Haru-chan! That was so yummy!”

Nagisa leaned back until he was lying on the floor, his hands patting his full stomach.

“Nagisa-kun, sit up! Don't be so rude to your host!” Rei scolded him.

“And how the hell did you finished so quick?” Rin chimed in, “Are you a freaking vacuum or what?”

Haruka watched the exchange with little interest.

The four of them were sitting in Haruka's living room at the low table with their legs crossed underneath it. In the middle of the table sat a hot plate with a bubbling bowl of hot-pot on top of it.

There had been a fierce debate via group text throughout the day over what they would have for dinner. Haruka had been adamant on cooking his usual weekday dish, soy mackerel with white rice, but both Rin and Nagisa had been vehemently opposed. Nagisa had sent him several recipes that involved deep-frying while Rin railed against his lack of both imagination and meat. At only one point in the conversation had Rei piped up, humbly requesting whatever was made to have a decent amount of vegetables. Haruka had told them all to shut up and remember who was going to be doing all the cooking. The hot-pot had been his compromise, allowing everyone to pick and choose what they pleased. When it got to late afternoon, he told them all to pick up whatever ingredients they wanted then turned his phone off.

At precisely seven o'clock, his doorbell rang repeatedly until he deigned to open the door and the three of them had come barging in. Haruka had had the foresight to get the broth boiling so they started cooking as soon as they sat down. Talk around the table had been casual as they ate, Nagisa complained about his sisters, Rin complained about his teammates and Rei complained about their complaining, although the thick A4 binder that he had brought in with him promised a more focused discussion later.

As glad as he was to see them, Haruka was finding it difficult to concentrate on what was being said.

His conversation with Makoto yesterday occupied all of his thoughts. Of course he was nothing but overjoyed that his wounds had finally healed but it was cruel coincidence that it happened around the same time that he had acknowledged his feelings for him. He wondered if it would have made any difference if he had never realised or if it would still hurt as much. At least this way, he knew why it did.

Haruka didn't even dare to dream of asking him to stay. Makoto had been stuck with him long enough.

He kept his head down at the table, staring into the remains of his meal as the others continued to babble around him.

“Excuse you, Rin-chan,” Nagisa had sat back up again, sounding offended, “When you're the youngest of five people, you either eat fast or you don't eat! So hush! And besides, Rei-chan, Haru-chan doesn't care what I do. Right, Haru-chan?”

Haruka slowly lifted his chopsticks to his lips and clamped down on them.

“Haru-chan!”

He jolted upright, surprised.

“Ah! ...What?”

Rin, Rei and Nagisa all stared at him for a moment then exchanged pointed looks with each other.

“Haruka-senpai...” Rei eventually spoke, “Are you alright? You seem... distracted.”

He took his chopsticks out of his mouth to ask what he meant and realised that he hadn't actually picked anything up with them. He placed them down on the table with a clack, trying not to blush.

“I'm fine, fine. Just thinking...” He murmured.

“Thinking about what?” Rin asked with a suspicious glare.

“It must be tough, that's all.”

“What's tough?”

“For Nagisa,” Haruka lied, nodding toward him, “Having so many people at home, all at the same table. I can't imagine what it's like.”

Nagisa's chest puffed out as he pouted and nodded vigorously.

“It is tough!” He agreed, “Thank you Haru-chan, for understanding! That's why coming to your house is so nice, so I can just sit back and relax...”

He slumped over the table for emphasis, laying his head down.

“We're not here to relax, Nagisa-kun!” Rei cried, bringing his palm down onto the table right beside his nose, “We have very important things to discuss.”

“Nnnghh,” Nagisa turned his head the other way and shutting his eyes, “After I digest, Rei-chan.”

“Don't go to sleep!” Rei cried, exasperated.

Knowing how long the two of them could keep up this particular song-and-dance, Haruka began to gather up the dishes to take to the kitchen.

“I'll make some tea,” He announced over their bickering before picking up the bowls and escaping.

He had just started boiling some water and began to scrub the dishes when he heard someone else walk into the kitchen behind him. Thinking that Rei might have become flustered enough to need a cold glass of water, he turned to acknowledge him and was instead surprised to see Rin standing in the doorway, cradling the empty pot and hot plate in his hands.

“Thought I'd save you the trouble,” He said, walking up to his side and dumping what he carried onto the counter, “Besides I had to get out of there, Nagisa started Rei off on some spiel about responsibility and I don't need that right now.”

Haruka sympathised.

“Man, what is with him though?” Rin grumbled, turning where he stood to lean back against the counter, “Rei has enough crap to deal with without being teased all the time... I mean, I know Nagisa is a little shit to everyone but he seems to pick on Rei more then anyone else.”

Elbow deep in soapy water, Haruka said nothing. He doubted that Nagisa had told anyone esle about his crush so pointing out to Rin that Nagisa was messing with Rei like a child would with someone they liked felt as if it would be breach of trust. A small cynical part of him also wondered how much of Rin's concern for Rei was genuine and how much of it was misplaced guilt for almost drowning him.

In lieu of an answer he just shrugged and began to rinse the pot. Rin didn't seemed fazed by his silence and simply slouched against the counter-top. After a few minutes of listening to the muffled antics going on in the next room, he spoke again.

“So what's wrong with you anyway?” He asked, “You were completely zoned out during dinner. And don't tell me you spent the whole time feeling sorry for Nagisa because that's bull.”

Haruka put the pot and bowls upside-down on the draining board to dry and took his time rubbing his hands with the teatowel.

If he lied to Rin now, he would know and the state the two of them were in was still precarious enough that the slightest bit of pressure could send Rin's temper flying sky high. He didn't fancy getting into a shouting match tonight, but he just didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if he could tell Rin what was really bothering him.

They still weren't really friends, they hadn't even spoken since that afternoon Haruka ran into him and his sister while visiting Rei, but there was an understanding between them now. Haruka understood that he needed to take the initiative and reach out to Rin in order to talk about everything he had been through when he was away, and Rin understood that he couldn't strong-arm Haruka into doing so, that it was only at his own pace that he would be able to come to terms with things. There was a very serious conversation that had to happen between them at some point in the future and while Haruka wasn't necessarily looking forward to it, he felt a little better equipped to handle it than before.

Besides which, he could see how hard Rin was trying. He did his best to not be sullen and bite his tongue whenever his temper rose. It made Haruka want to be honest with him, even though he knew he couldn't tell him the whole truth.

He sighed, putting down the teatowel and facing him.

“A friend of mine is leaving town soon,” He confided.

Rin looked surprised that he had replied at all but after a moment he realised that that was all the answer he was getting and frowned.

“So what?” He retorted.

“So... We're not going to stay in touch... and I'm going to miss them?” Haruka said, thinking that that had naturally been implied.

“That's what your phone is for, idiot!” Rin snorted, “This is a golden opportunity for you to learn how to actually use to talk to people!”

“He doesn't have a phone.”

“Who in this day and age doesn't-?! God, and I thought you were bad at communicating!”

Haruka glared.

“I'm making tea,” He said shortly and began to pull cups out of an overhead press.

“Oh stop sulking, can't you take a joke?” Rin sneered, “Now let me think...”

Haruka kept his ears open as he started brewing tea.

“If you're that desperate to keep in touch...” Rin said after a pensive minute, “You could always get his address and write him letters. Like I did with Sousuke. You remember my friend Sousuke?”

Haruka remembered a dark-haired, narrow-eyed boy with a sour attitude and a grudge against him. Keeping his mouth shut, he nodded.

“Yeah, when I first went to Australia I wrote to him all the time... Sort of got out of the habit of doing it... I really ought to....” Rin drifted off, his brow furrowing in worry and if Haruka read his expression right, a flicker of guilt.

After another quiet moment, Rin shook his head as if to banish his thoughts.

“So yeah, just write to him. Make sure he writes back.”

It was sound enough advice considering what little information he had given him and Haruka could have left the conversation at that if he wanted to, but something aching and insecure tore words from his throat.

“...What if he doesn't want to stay in touch?” He murmured into the teacups.

“Then he is just a jerk who isn't worth your time,” came Rin's immediate response.

Haruka kept looking down and put the cups and tea pot onto a tray, fiddling with them. Rin sighed loudly.

“Okay look, Haru... How do you even know this guy? From school? Do Nagisa and Rei know him?”

“No, no, not from school. He... lives by the coast.”

“And you think this guy is decent, right? He's a good friend?” Rin asked.

Haruka let his eyes shut for a moment. The glow of emotion that warmed him from the inside whenever he thought of Makoto overcame him for a moment. He blinked it away rapidly and tried to focus.

“Yes,” He said softly, “A very good friend.”

“This'll sound stupid but...,” Rin sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck, “Have you tried talking to him about it? I know it's not your strong suit but... if he is leaving anyway, what have you got to lose?”

Haruka looked up at him then, unable to answer that. Rin's face was carefully blank, the look in his eyes unreadable. He turned away again and picked up the tray, before turning on his heel and walking towards the kitchen door.

“Hey,” Rin called after him, a flicker of anger leaking into his voice.

“I'll think about it,” Haruka muttered.

He paused just before he pushed open the door.

“...Thanks.”

He heard Rin snorted bemusedly before he followed him back to the living room.

The first thing Haruka saw when he walked into the room was a plethora of papers scattered across the table and floor in a haphazard manner. It looked like a notebook had exploded. Sitting in the middle of the debris, Rei looked up at the two of them with a sunny smile.

“Haruka-senpai, Rin-san, just in time! I just finished laying out my planning schedule for any and all future swimming lessons!” He explained gesturing to his nearly binder then the papers with a grand sweep of his hand.

To his left, Nagisa was clearly struggling to sit upright under the weight of the a stack of notes.

“Rin-chan! Haru-chan!” He cried, “Run and save yourselves! He's got pie charts!!”

“Hush, Nagisa-kun, those are just proposal models.”

Haruka and Rin shared a startled look before carefully sitting down, Haruka moving a calendar to one side in order to put the tea tray down.

Despite how dull it all looked, Haruka suddenly felt a swell of gratitude for the three of them. They had all given him help over the last couple of months with Makoto even if they didn't know it. Even fighting with Rin had given him the motivation to not let things fester with Makoto when they had disagreed. No matter what happened tomorrow, he would never forget the support they had shown him.

From the corner of his eye, Haruka saw that the calendar that he had pushed aside had days and dates marked on it until the end of Summer the year after the one they were currently in.

At least I won't be bored, He thought with a smile.

~~

The next night was flawless, weather-wise.

The half-moon shone brightly on the calm water below, painting it silver. There was no wind to ruffle the waves and the packed sand still retained the heat of the day. The humidity was almost balmy, but right beside the sea it was cool enough to not be overwhelming. All the fishing boats were docked for the evening, their business for the day concluded, and even the coastguard seemed lax on a night so beautiful and tranquil.

Haruka resented it immensely.

For completely practical reasons, of course. A little bit of cloud cover would have be useful in order to keep Makoto's bulk hidden from any prying eyes that may have been around, and if the water was as pleasantly warm as the shore, Haruka was worried he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to swim all night and might abandon the reason he would need to hold himself together for what was to come.

Really, such a pretty, picturesque evening was just inconvenient.

Haruka stood before the pile of boulders that bordered the small inlet where he would meet Makoto, trying to work up the courage to climb them.

The evening before he had been sufficiently distracted by his friends' antics and placated by Rin's advice enough that he hadn't been overly-worried about tonight. From the moment he had woken up today however, he had been full of jitters and couldn't seem to sit still. He couldn't handle breakfast and barely managed to choke down lunch. He nearly broke several dishes from last night's dinner as he dried them, and, most disturbingly of all, he wasn't even able to enjoy his afternoon bath although he sat in it until the water turned icy.

He still had no idea what he was going to do.

The advice Rin had given him had its merits. Speaking to Makoto honestly about how he was feeling would certainly get his worries off of his own chest, but he feared pushing his selfish desires onto Makoto. He didn't want him to feel obligated to him.

On the other hand, while keeping quiet would ensure that his last night with Makoto was peaceful, he knew deep down that never expressing his feelings would eat away at him, regret would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He flip-flopped between his two options every other minute.

If he could only cross over that final barrier standing between Makoto and himself, he would know for sure but the daunting prospect of uncertainty and change loomed over him, freezing him where he stood.

It took several more minutes of deliberation combined with the knowledge that Makoto was surely getting tired of waiting for him to finally start to move and clamber up the rock pile.

At its peak, Haruka looked down on the inlet and paused again.

Makoto was lying on his side, staring out at the sea, his expression utterly serene. Both of the fishing nets had been pulled to shore and empty completely before being shoved out of the way to the bottom of the cliff face. Makoto had made a neat pile of his own fish and put four fat mackerel onto sharp wooden sticks. He had also dug a fire pit at least as long as Haruka's whole body and filled it with dry driftwood, waiting to be set alight.

Haruka wasn't sure whether had he gasped or if Makoto had just sensed his presence, but either way he looked up from where he lay, surprised, before spotting him and breaking into a huge smile.

“Haru!” He called happily, “I've been waiting! I set up a fire for you, I thought we could have dinner together? Ah, um I know it's not lit right now but I wasn't sure how you do it so...”

He trailed off as Haruka climbed down the rock pile wordlessly and walked over to the fire pit without looking at him. He crouched beside it and took out his lighter, flicking it on and holding it to the wood. It was only when it caught and began to burn that Haruka looked up at him, bashfully.

“Thank you,” He murmured reverently.

Makoto's smile only got bigger.

The effect Makoto had on him truly was incredible. In the instant he saw him, the loud, raging fear in his heart quietened down and was replaced by soothing affection. Even the simple gesture of preparing for dinner had filled him with delight. He shuffled around the fire to Makoto's side and sat by him, basking in the comfort he gave him. Haruka had no idea how he would live without this kind of safety.

Dinner was exceedingly normal, feeling almost like any other night. As the fish cooked, Haruka told Makoto how yesterday's dinner with his friends had gone and made him spit his food out with laughter more than once. When he ate, Makoto talked about anything and everything that came to his mind. The little white cat had come back again, apparently, and Makoto sounded so proud of himself as he told Haruka how he fed and petted and didn't flinch even once. Haruka put down his fish to applaud him. Makoto whined about his teasing.

Despite the casual mood, there was something tense lingering among them. It manifested in Makoto tapping his fingers against the sand after he finished eating, and in Haruka hunching over himself tightly in the lulls in their conversation. Eventually, after Haruka had picked every last scrap of meat off of the fishes' bones, it swelled between them and cracked Makoto first.

“Haru!” He cried suddenly, sitting fully upright and gazing down at him.

“What?” Haruka asked, a little startled at the sudden noise.

“Are you okay? Did you have enough? A-Are you good?” The questions came out of his mouth at a mile a minute, “If you're done... c-can we...?”

Haruka held up his hands for peace and he fell silent.

“I'm fine, relax,” He assured him, first and foremost, even as his stomach began to roll nervously, “Wait a moment, I just want to make absolutely sure of some things. Lay back down.”

Makoto did so immediately. Haruka stood and by the light of the fire leaned up to examine his fin. The wound looked exactly as it had two days ago but by the flickering light of the flames the scar tissue looked visceral and bloody. A small but brutally selfish part of him wondered if it would re-open again if Makoto tried to swim. He shook his head viciously, furious at himself for having the tiny impulsive thought at all. Makoto was and would be fine, he was certain of that, wishing he wasn't so was despicable.

Completely oblivious to what was running around in his head, Makoto chuckled slightly as he looked over his shoulder at him.

“Well?” He asked, “Are you absolutely sure?”

Haruka ran his hand down the scar and let it linger on the side on his tail for a fleeting second before looking him in the eye and nodding.

“Everything looks good. Just help me put the fire out, then we can go.”

Makoto reached out and scooped up an enormous handful of seawater before turning to dump it on the fire. It hissed and fizzled out immediately, but Haruka bought a few more minutes kicking sand onto the dim embers.

With nothing else to be done, he had to except the inevitable. He slipped off his shoes and rolled up the cuffs on his trousers before stepping into the sea, nodding again for Makoto to follow him. They moved sideways past the jagged barrier of rocks as though they were heading to the cave but continued on past its gaping mouth. Beyond where the cave had been weathered out of the rock over countless years there was nothing but the sea hugging the cliff-face. They kept moving onward for about fifteen minutes, still close enough to the cliffs that Haruka was wading through knee-high water while Makoto had to drag his body forward.

Eventually they came to a stop at the base of a formation that jutted down and out of the cliff face, a ten foot tall hill of gravel, tightly-packed sand and coarse grass. It was longer than it was tall and curved slightly as it stretched sixty feet out into open sea. Makoto looked up at the sandbar with awe, open-mouthed.

“It leads right out to where the water gets deeper,” Haruka pointed outwards, his finger following the line of it, “I thought it might make it easier for you to be able to dive right in.”

“How did you even know this was here?” Makoto asked, amazed.

“From my grandmother. When she was a child, people used to dock their boats around here,” Haruka answered, directing his attention to the rotten poles of wood jutting out of the water just past them, “Kids used to jump off of this all the time, she said. She held the local record for diving, apparently.”

“Is that where you get it from?” Makoto smirked at him.

He looked away, his face getting hot.

Makoto laughed lightly before reaching up and heaving his heavy body out of the water with a grunt, hauling himself up on top of the sand bar.

“Coming?” He called down to Haruka after he had straightened himself out, facing the sea.

The climb was steeper than the pile of boulders that blocked off Makoto's tiny beach but far softer, allowing him to dig his finger into the silt for leverage. When he got to the top however, he saw that it was far too narrow for them to be side by side. He stood behind Makoto and patted his tail to let him know that he was there. Makoto glanced over his shoulder with a smile but said nothing. Haruka indicated towards the end of the sandbar with a tilt of his head, and his smile turned nervous. Haruka reached down and stroked his hand across his fluke.

“You'll be fine,” He promised.

Makoto swallowed and nodded, turned his head back around.

“I'm so glad you're here with me,” He told him, before beginning to drag his body towards the water.

Haruka was struck dumb by his sincerity. He was frozen for a moment before he began to follow him.

It was slow going as Makoto had to drag his body with just his arms over relatively dry ground but he eventually got to the end of the sandbar. It stopped suddenly, a sheer drop hanging over the water. Even from behind Makoto, Haruka could smell the sharp tang of saltwater. Makoto shoulders rose up and down as he let out a huge sigh. He leaned over the end of the bar, lying on his stomach and staring down at the sea. He rolled his shoulders back and cracked his neck before looking back to Haruka one last time. The look in his eyes was nervous but determined. Haruka gave him the biggest smile he could muster and after returning it, he braced his hands against the edge of the sandbar. Taking another deep breath, he pushed with all his might and dived in.

Haruka only had a second to admire the way his back arched before he disappeared under the waves.

He looked over the edge of the sandbar and held his breath, counting in his head; ten seconds, twenty seconds, forty seconds, a minute and a half, three minutes; but still Makoto hadn't surfaced. Haruka bit his lip and had just considered jumping in after him to see what had happened when in the distance he heard an almighty splash.

He looked up just in time to see Makoto leaping out of the water, flipped onto his back, his arms outstretched and whooping euphorically. He landed with a crash and vanished below again.

Haruka let out his breath gratefully. Despite all his checking and double-checking , he still hadn't been 100% certain that Makoto would be okay in the water but it seemed all his hard work had finally paid off.

He spent the next twenty minutes watching in awe as Makoto looped, dashed and dived around the water. Sometimes he lept up out of it again, and each time Haruka could hear him cheering. Most of time however was spent trying to spot his silhouette underneath the surface. He was so fast, Haruka actually had trouble doing so. He was so used to thinking of Makoto as a slow, sedentary creature but in his element, he zipped around so quickly, it sent shivers up his spine.

Haruka had just lost sight of him again when he surprised him by popping his head and shoulders out of the water at the end of the sandbar just under his dangling feet.

“Haru!” He called, breathless with exertion.

He almost looked like a different person, his hair lay flat against his head and had been darkened by the damp. His eyes caught the light of the moon, glowing brightly and his whole face was lit up with a smile bigger than any he had ever seen.

Haruka found the corners of his own mouth twitching upward in response.

“So... you can swim,” He pointed out unnecessarily, “How do you feel?”

Makoto laughed a little helplessly.

“Come in and find out,” He said, playfully, holding one huge hand out to him.

Haruka blinked owlishly. He had almost forgotten that he had made him that promise. Haruka took one more good look at him before turning on his heel and walking away from him down the sandbar.

The happiness quickly fell from Makoto's face but before he could even wonder where Haruka was going or call for him, he heard the rustle of clothing being tossed aside and then the quick patter of bare feet.

Haruka took a running jump in nothing but his swimsuit and dove over his head, straight into the water. Makoto started laughing again and didn't stop until he surfaced after a minute.

Haruka tossed his head to the side to flick his wet fringe out of his face.

“Well?” He asked, as though Makoto was making them late for something important.

With a wide grin, Makoto ducked back under the surface and moved up to Haruka's side. He just raised his face above the water-line to speak to him.

“Let's go!” He crowed.

Makoto took off swiftly and Haruka followed after as fast as he could. They moved away from the coast on to deeper waters, weaving in and out of each other's space as they did so. Not for the first time, Haruka desperately wished that he could breathe underwater so he could watch Makoto spin and swim under the waves for as long as he pleased.

Even with the two minutes of air he had, however, he could see that the injury wasn't impeding Makoto at all. He twisted and twirled as though he had never been hurt at all. A surge of pride filtered through him when he saw that. Another thing he couldn't help but notice was how mightily Makoto moved in the sea. Haruka had never thought of him as graceful in any way, and even now there was a power and strength to his movements that didn't allow for anything so delicate, but there was a majesty to his actions and it cut Haruka to the quick when he thought about how beautiful he looked in that moment.

Heartache and love warring in his chest, he surfaced to take a gulp of fresh air. He looked back the way they had come from and realised that he couldn't see land anymore. It was impossible for him to feel any fear about that however. He had always trusted the water, and with Makoto near him, he felt nigh invincible.

Makoto himself came up for air soon after, floating on his back and gazing dreamily up at the shining moon. He turned his head to one side to look at Haruka, the softness in his eyes never fading.

“Haru?”

“Mmm?”

“Your swimming is lovely... You're so graceful, I should have guessed... you would be as incredible in water as you are on land,” He whispered, his face turning red.

“Stop.” Haruka looked away.

“No, no, Haru please don't do that...” Makoto moved so he was treading water upright, his head and shoulder peeking out of the water, and lifted one giant finger to rest under Haruka's chin, “I mean it. And I... I have something else to tell you.”

Haruka peered up at him from under his eyelashes.

“Haru... Haruka,” Makoto began shyly, still blushing, “I want to thank you. Really thank you. When you found me, you could have just walked away so easily, or brought someone else to come deal with me- No! Let me finish!” He protested as Haruka opened his mouth to argue, “Please! You could have. You didn't have to care for me and keep me safe but you did. I would dead if it wasn't for you. And even if some other human had found me and done the same thing... I don't think... they would be as d-dear to me as you are. Thank you for saving me, Haru. And thank you for being my friend... when I needed one the most. I know I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done but you have my completely gratitude. And my trust! And my thanks... although I think I've said that too much...”

He trailed off wiping his hand across his mouth. Haruka was shocked to see the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Makoto...” He reached out to him on impulse.

“Sorry! Sorry! I'm fine!” Makoto tried to blink away the moisture, “Damn, I had a whole speech ready and everything...”

He sniffed loudly and without warning put his hands on Haruka's shoulders. His fingers interlaced behind his back and his palms covered his whole forearm. He pulled Haruka closer to his head and leaned forward pressing his cheek against the side of his face.

“I'm just trying to say...” He tried again, voice warbling, “Thank you, Haru, thank you so so much.”

He rubbed his cheek against him back and forth just like he had that morning back in the cave. Heat blossomed in Haruka's chest and he raised his hands up to cradled Makoto's face as best he could. They stayed like that for a long quiet moment until Makoto pulled back again, his face a bright red. He kept his hand on Haruka's shoulders.

“Sorry...” He mumbled again, still sniffling.

Haruka shook his head to dismiss the unnecessary apology but couldn't suppress his curiosity.

“What was that?” He asked, trying not to sound eager.

Makoto only got redder.

“I'm sorry! That was too impulsive, I didn't mean-! I'm sorry if you didn't like it!” He sputtered.

“I didn't say that,” Haruka reassured him, “Actually it was nice... warm. But what was it?”

Makoto gave him a strange look as if he didn't quite believe him but answered anyway.

“It's... called cheek-rubbing... It's a show of a-affection... for family and um, very good friends...”

Haruka consider that and nodded. It made a kind of sense, although it did remind him just how different Makoto's culture was to his own.

“Humans have something like that...” He told him, mostly to let him know that he didn't think he was weird.

“Really?” Makoto looked relieved, “What is it? Can you show me?”

Haruka stopped treading water and nearly sank before he caught himself. His eyes flickered to Makoto's lips for a split-second and he made his choice on impulse.

“Yeah... Yeah I can show you.”

Makoto was all ears.

Trying not to panic, Haruka asked him to move in closer and lower. Makoto came right up to his face and moved down until his chin touched the water. His eye-level was still slightly above Haruka's.

“Now what?” He whispered.

“C-Close your eyes,” Haruka said, just as quietly.

That glorious green disappeared as Makoto obeyed him.

Haruka placed his hands on Makoto's cheeks, licked his lips and wondered if this was the right thing to do. It wasn't a confession, but he was too weak, too hurt and so full of love for the beautiful boy in front of him, this was all he had the courage for.

Already knowing that he would regret it, Haruka leaned in and kissed him.

With their size difference, it didn't quite work but he pressed his lips to Makoto's top one and held them there. He felt Makoto's warm breath tickle his neck, heard it hitch as he touched him. His lip was slick and salty with sea-water, blazing hot with his body's warmth. Haruka stayed in that position for what seemed like forever but could only realistically have been a few seconds. His face felt like it had combusted. Makoto's eyes were still closed but his brow was furrowed as Haruka pulled his way out of his grip.

“Open them,” He commanded hoarsely.

Makoto's eyes shot open and looked him over appraisingly.

“It's called a kiss,” He tried not to stumble over his words but he still couldn't bring himself to look at him.

“And...” Makoto spoke slowly, “That's... for friends?”

Haruka nodded stiffly, the added weight of the lie only compounding his guilt.

Some unknown instinct made him look over at Makoto in that moment, just as his tongue flicked over the spot where his lips had been. A shudder ran through him and settled hot in his gut. Makoto opened his mouth to speak but whatever he had to say was lost forever as Haruka suddenly yawned hugely out of nowhere. He began to mumble an apology before it happened again and he turned away to cover his mouth.

“Are you tired, Haru?” Makoto asked benignly, the smile of his face smaller than any other he had seen had night.

“No, I'm fine,” He protested vehemently.

Makoto ignored him, staring up at the sky.

“I didn't realise how late it was,” He seemed to be talking to himself, “The moon will set soon, we should head back.”

“No!” Haruka moved back up to him and gripped his arm tightly, “No, I'm fine. I don't want to.”

“You can't tread water all night, Haru,” He pointed out.

“Please.”

Haruka shook his head desperately. It was too soon, he wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. He doubted he ever would be.

Makoto smiled down at him sympathetically, a far-away look in his eye.

“Time sure flies, huh?”

“Makoto, please!”

“C'mon, I'll give you a lift.”

Haruka was helpless to resist as Makoto turned to float on his stomach in the water and reached back to grab him and place him carefully on his lower back.

“Hold tight,” was the last thing he said before he set off, swimming faster than he had earlier while staying above the surface of the water.

Haruka was speechless, feeling utterly useless and spent as he struggled to come to terms with the truth of what was happened. His head was completely in a whirl. All he knew for certain was that he had completely lost control of the situation.

He was so lost in thought that it wasn't until they had nearly reached land again that Haruka realised that Makoto was headed towards the inlet beside his cave instead of the sandbar. Fear and worry spiked in his system.

“Makoto!” He called, striking his hand against his back for his attention.

Makoto lifted his face out of the water, never slowing down.

“Huh?”

“Go back to the sandbar! We're too close to the town, you could be seen!”

“No-one will see me,” Makoto called back confidently, “I feel very safe with you.”

Haruka was struck silent again and stayed that way until Makoto slid up onto dry land again, right beside the now-cold fire pit. Haruka jumped off of his back and immediately fell down, his legs feeling like jelly. Makoto started to fuss but he waved him off wordlessly.

Haruka did his best to catch his breath before turning to see Makoto in the same position he had found him in earlier that night, laying on his side. Instead of gazing at the moon however, his eyes were fixed firmly on him, clearly worried.

It was all too much all the once, loss and love making the words spill out of him without heed.

“What now?” He spat, “What will you do?”

Makoto raised an eyebrow at the viciousness of the question and answered him quietly.

“Rest for a few hours, then head back out again once the sun rises.”

And go find your family and live happily ever after, Haruka finished the sentence in his mind.

That was it then. He had finally asked and had gotten his answer. He barely had the strength to raise his head to look at him. Feeling ill, Haruka wanted to be as far away from Makoto as possible.

He staggered to his feet and picked up the shoes he had left behind, noting a little too late that his shirt and trousers had been left at the sandbar. It was fine. He had more clothes.

“Haru, be careful! Are you alright?” Makoto called to him.

As if his voice was a magnet, he couldn't resist turning towards him. Makoto still looked incredibly concerned and while that was nothing new, being in the water seemed to have given him a new lease on life. His eyes seemed brighter, his body even bigger, he seemed more alive than ever before. His chest was still rising and falling rapidly in exertion at his quick swim. Despite everything, all Haruka could think of was how beautiful he was.

He ceded to his thwarted desires one more time.

He slipped his shoes on and stepped up close to Makoto, raising his hands to hold his face.

“You were very dear to me as well,” He said out of nowhere, “My good, good friend, thank you.”

Then he rose up on his tip-toes and kissed his top lip one last time.

He stepped away almost immediately and ran for the rock pile, climbing it as quickly as he could.

“Haru?! Haru wait!!”

He practically jumped down the other side of it and kept running. Makoto's frantic voice kept calling for him but he never looked back.

~~

To his great surprise, Haruka actually slept well.

After getting home at twenty to four in the morning, he had collapsed into bed and immediately fell asleep. By some small mercy, he did not dream.

He woke up at his usual hour of seven-thirty and decided, for the first time in his life, to sleep in. It wasn't as if he had anywhere to be. After dozing for three hours he took a long, hot bath before eating a small lunch.

He felt numb all over and knew he hadn't fully processed everything that had happened last night. He didn't particularly want to either so he shoved it to the back of his mind, aiming to keep it there for as long as possible. Not very healthy perhaps, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to care.

After scrubbing the dishes and pottering around the house aimlessly for twenty minutes, he decided to go for a walk. Just because the house was too hot. Just to clear his head.

He walked slowly down to the coast. Just because it was nearby, no other reason.

He found himself walking away from the docks to more secluded areas of the shore. Only so he could have some privacy.

Eventually of course he got to Makoto's beach and climbed over the rock pile without even thinking about it. He should probably go get the clothes he left behind after all, and get rid of the fire pit, not to mention he needed to collect the fishing nets that he had used. Sasabe would be happy to get those back.

These were his excuses and even in his own mind, he didn't believe them.

The inlet was empty of course. He had fully expected it to be. He had said that he would leave at sunrise after all, and it was past noon by now.

Even with all his excuses buzzing at the back of his mind, all Haruka did was lay down on the burning sand and shut his eyes.

As soon as he did, he was overwhelmed with last night's memories. His eyes started to get hot and twin tracks of tears trickled down his face. He didn't weep, but let all the pain and confusion and love flow out of him.

He had been right. He regret the first kiss. Oddly, he didn't regret the second one nor what he had told Makoto before he had done it. His only hope was that he hadn't been too upset when he set off this morning. Haruka supposed that leaving him the way he had had been selfish but that was no great surprise. Haruka knew he had a talent for hurting people.

He didn't know how long he lay there for but eventually his tears dried and he felt like he could breathe again even if it was weakly.

Haruka was comfortable with staying right where he was until the sun went down, completely sapped of energy but he heard something shuffle on the sand and before he could open his eyes, a great shadow fell over him.

He slowly cracked open his eyelids and his jaw fell open.

Makoto was leaning over him, dripping wet, his arms braced on either side if his head and a small frown on his face. The sunlight framed his head like a halo.

“Haru?” His voice was exceedingly normal, “What's wrong?”

Haruka sat up and scrambled away from him, jumping to his feet. He stared wide-eyed.

“Makoto...” The syllables dropped out of his mouth disbelievingly, “You're here?”

Makoto laughed at his behaviour but it sounded strained and the worried look never left his eyes. He folded his arms underneath him and laid down.

“Yeah? I went to go catch lunch and I saw you? What is it?”

“You're here,” Haruka repeated, “I can't believe you're here...”

“Why?” Makoto was looking very concerned now.

“I thought...” He swallowed harshly, “I thought once you could swim again... you would leave... for good.”

A flash of despair crossed over Makoto's face before he hid it under a cautious mask.

“Do you... do you want me to leave, Haru?” He asked tonelessly.

“No! Please, no!” Haruka ran at him and fell to his knees, latching onto his arm, “Please don't leave again!”

He didn't care how desperate he sounded, he couldn't bear to watch him leave anymore.

Makoto seemed stunned for a moment but he carefully raised one on his hands and placed it over where Haruka's still clung to him.

“Is this about last night Haru?” He asked softly.

Haruka looked him straight in the eye then and saw nothing but that incredible green and the care and comfort he had been given over the past three months.

And he made a choice based on the same instinct that made him choose to save Makoto in the first place, all those weeks ago.

“I lied to you,” He confessed, “After I kissed you. Kisses can be for family, and for friends but they way I kissed you... It wasn't... You're my friend Makoto but to me, you're also...” It was still so hard, he was practically choking on the words, “I like you. A lot. You're so important to me.”

Makoto stared, stunned.

“But last night,” Haruka forged on regardless, “I really thought you were leaving for good and I didn't think it would be fair to tell you... that would be selfish of me. But I was selfish anyway. And I'm so sorry.”

Haruka lowered his head to rest on Makoto's arm and braced himself for judgement.

“I... I...”

Makoto seemed stuck for words.

“You like me? Really?”

Haruka nodded helplessly.

There was silence for a minute before Makoto lifted his hand off of Haruka's hands and instead placed it on top of his head.

“I, um, I spent so long trying to convince myself that I didn't have a c-crush on you,” Makoto spoke softly and quickly trying to get everything out at once, “And even when I accepted it, I told myself it was unreasonable and s-selfish to expect anything to happen.”

Haruka had stopped breathing.

“Last night,” Makoto continued, “I lied too. The way, um, I cheek-rubbed you was... too i-i-intimate for friends. S-Sorry...”

Haruka sat up bolt straight and looked Makoto in the eye. He was blushed almost as furiously as him.

“So you like me?”

“Y-Yes...”

“And I like you.”

“Yes?”

“And we've both been really stupid about this?”

He almost sounded annoyed and Makoto burst into sudden laughter, relief and joy coursing through him.

“I guess so!”

He pulled Haruka into a hug then, happiness overwhelming him. Haruka wrapped his arms around his neck as much as he could, feeling a little put out at how foolish they both were but it was soon taken over by glee and he began to laugh too. Makoto smiled brightly and squeezed him a little tighter.

They held each other for an immeasurable amount of time before settling down together even further, lying side by side on the sand, Haruka resting on Makoto's hand and clutching his thumb tightly to his chest. Makoto was on his side facing him and now that he was free to do so, allowed himself to gaze at him lovingly as much as he wanted.

“Haru?” He whispered some time later.

“Hmm?”

“Why did you think I was going to leave anyway?”

Haruka shrugged. Now that it was no longer a problem, he didn't see the need to think about it.

“I didn't see any reason why you would want to stay,” He explained.

Makoto looked surprised.

“Well, I can give you a few, if you want?”

Haruka raised a curious eyebrow. Makoto grinned.

“I have good shelter,” He nodded back towards the cave, “There's no competition for food,” He gestured to the bay, “And... well, the company isn't half-bad either,” He gave Haruka a wink.

Haruka smiled.

“That's good enough, I suppose.”

Makoto smiled back at him but after a minute it faded and a thoughtful look passed over his face.

“What?”

“...I want to try something.”

Before Haruka could ask what, Makoto leaned towards him, his lips pursed and pressed them against his face. They were almost big enough to cover it entirely but Makoto only held them there for a second before retreating again. His lips had been hot and dry and he licked them nervously afterwards.

“Was -ahem- was that okay?” He asked sheepishly.

In lieu of an answer, Haruka sat up and scooched closer to his face. When he was right beside him, he lay his hand on his neck, leaned down and put his cheek against Makoto's, rubbing it up and down slowly.

“Perfect,” He told him.

Makoto hands laced around his back and held him close, keeping him from moving. Haruka didn't feel like doing so for a very long time.

He couldn't even begin to fathom the sheer amount of love and happiness he felt then. He chased away the cold horror at the thought that he had nearly lost it so easily by settling further into Makoto's embrace. The merman began to hum tunelessly and Haruka felt it resonate in his bones.

Luck and coincidence led to this, to them, to finding each other, but it was trust and hope that kept it together and Haruka had no doubt that these were what would lead them from now on, in this brand-new experience they would share. In this bright, terrifying, joyous change. Haruka caught a glimpse of Makoto looking at him and stared right back, blue into green, green into blue, and knew right down in the very core of who he was, Makoto felt the same.

-- THE END--