Chapter Text
”What happened Merlin?”
The sorcerer in question stilled, almost dropping the beauty blender he was holding in his hand. He swallowed and raised his gaze to look into Arthur’s eyes which were a little bit too close for Merlin’s comfort. The blue pools looked serious and Merlin thought he saw a hint of sadness in them as well. He knew what Arthur meant with that simple question, a question he had been avoiding the past months and had hoped to avoid till the end of times. Merlin bit his lip and went back to applying the white face paint onto Arthur’s face.
”What do you mean by that?” he asked, feeling his heart race to speed up a bit.
”You know what I mean”, Arthur spoke quietly.
Merlin glanced up again, this time definitely the sadness and maybe even confusion present in Arthur’s eyes. Merlin just exhaled and blended the face paint around Arthur’s mouth before backing away from the man.
”Please.”
The plead sounded almost foreign to Merlin. He wasn’t used to hear something like that from Arthur’s mouth. It was desperate and Merlin felt a sting inside him. He didnt’t wanna hear something like that from Arthur. Trying to distract himself from the pleading look, Merlin went back to fixing the make-up.
”Maybe another time”, Merlin mumbled as he finished blending the face paint.
He avoided Arthur’s eyes that were starting to turn annoyed, almost angry. Merlin turned away to put the blender away and rummaged through his make-up bag, trying to find a black eyebrow pencil to use next on Arthur. As he searched for the pencil he heard Arthur let out a huff and stand up from his chair.
”It’s always ’another time’”, Arthur said and walked to the mirror to inspect his make-up and outfit.
”Easy for you to say”, Merlin mumbled under his breath, feeling the anger and frustration get to him as well.
Arthur’s fingers stilled on the strings of his black cloak as he heard those almost inaudible words. He stared at Merlin from the reflection of the mirror for few seconds before swiftly turning around. Merlin regretted his words instantly when he saw the hurt look on his friend’s face.
”Easy for me to say?” the blond whispered and took few steps to close the distance between them. ”You really think that it’s easy for me to say? That all of this is easy for me? That I didn’t lose people dear to me and then when I woke up again there there were none of them around? That’s easy for me?” he continued, his voice getting stronger by each sentence, few tears trying to escape from his eyes.
”Art-” Merlin tried to cut in, but there was no stopping Arthur.
”That it’s easy to adjust to this whole new world around me? Easy to be around you and Leon? Trying to be with you like in the old days when you have too many and I too few years between that and now?”
”Arthur ple-”
”I know it hurts you, but it hurts me too and I deserve to know Merlin!”
The last bit came out of Arthur a little too loud, demanding and angry than intended. Silence fell between the two, just the desperate words ringing in Merlin’s ears. He looked at the other indisbelief and in any other situation he would have found Arthur dressed as Dracula and looking so determined to be hilarious, but not this time. The anger inside Merlin was getting stronger and Arthur started to sense and see it as well as his expression started to turn almost scared.
”Do you?” Merlin huffed and turned to look away to avoid the other’s stare as he as well felt tears starting to burn through. ”And I deserve to not talk about it and live those horrid moments again”, he continued quietly, hoping to sound as normal as possible but his voice cracked at the last words.
The blond took few careful steps towards Merlin. He suddenly found it hard to find the right words so he just licked his lips and placed his hands on Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin tensed at the contact and looked down, but as Arthur slowly drew circles with his thumbs he started to relax and let his shoulders drop down.
”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that”, Arthur mumbled and pulled the other into a tight embrace, resting his head on Merlin’s head trying to ignore the small and quiet ’Yes, you did.’ that came out of Merlin. ”I just want... I need some answers.”
”I know”, Merlin muttered against his chest. ”It’s just so painful”, he added and pulled away slightly, staring at the not-so-Pendragon red vest.
Merlin led them to sit on his bed. Deep down he knew they had to have this conversation eventually and that by time it would just get even harder to have, but it was just too much and too little to talk about. You could just say that ’Camelot got forgotten.’ and call it a day, but it wasn’t that simple. It never was. The buildings, the people, the air, they could tell thousands of stories, none same than the other. Thousands of stories that made the one big story. Merlin didn’t even know where to start, let alone where to end.
”It’s just so much. It was a mess to begin with and then it just got messier and messier”, he said after a while. ”A broken kingdom lost it’s destined king”, he added, feeling a sting in his own heart and seeing that same sting in Arthur’s eyes.
”Do you think I will ever be a king again?”
The question was a very hesitant one, Arthur inspecting his friend as he said the line. Merlin looked to the distance for a second before turning to Arthur.
”I don’t think so Arthur”, he said, his voice cracking again at his king’s name. ”You’re merely a legend Arthur. A myth. King Arthur and his knights of the round table… You’re a fairytale. A fairytale that everyones loves, but still just that… A fun and epic story in a fictious kingdom of Camelot.”
Arthur listened carefully. He felt a weird rush of emotions at the words, not sure how to feel about all of it. To think that a place he called his kingdom, his home, just wasn’t anymore felt surreal. The halls, streets and people he remembered so vividly didn’t simply exist anymore and even to Merlin and Leon they were just a very distant memory.
”Gwen took good care of Camelot as a queen, but we all knew that it was never meant to last without you. She tried her best, but even she started to see Camelot withering away and when she died… Camelot’s destiny was sealed. Over time it just got forgotten, slipped out of people’s minds”, Merlin continued to explain again, playing with a loose string on his shirt.
”Guinevere was a good lady”, Arthur said with a fond smile at the memory of the former queen. ”A good queen.”
”She really was”, Merlin added and got up to finally work on Arthur’s eyebrows.
”I believe many things wouldn’t have turned out how they did without her. I think she was the only sane one in the group”, Arhur joked a bit, trying to lighten the mood.
”Excuse me, she married you. How sane one can be to do that?” Merlin quipped back, making Arthur laugh warmly.
”Hey, don’t speak ill of the dead”, Arthur laughed and punched Merlin’s gut lightly, making the other yelp.
That laugh always managed to tingle and warm up Merlin’s insides. There were many things Merlin had forgotten during all those years, but he could always hear that laugh clear as a day. He always feared the day to come when he would forget Arthur’s voice and sometimes he even hoped for that. Because even though it was the voice Merlin loved the most, it also hurt him the most, reminding him of what he could never have again.
”Oh, shut up”, Merlin chuckled and looked at the time. ”Alright, we better start hurrying. We need to leave in an hour and I haven’t even started on my costume.”
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”The door’s open!” Leon yelled when he heard the doorbell ring.
Soon after Merlin and Arthur, Elvira and Dracula, stumbled through the door. They were met with a whiff of pumpking pie in the air and gigantic spider in the hallway of Leon and Sophia’s house.
”We might be 15 minutes early, but you guys still better not be having sex”, Merlin shouted as he placed a container of pastries on the side table and saw as Leon dressed as Fred from Scooby-Doo walked out of the kitchen to greet the pair.
”Very funny Merlin”, he answered dryly.
”Honey, I’m just saying. It was traumatizing enough to witness it once, I don’t need it to happen again”, Merlin said raising his hands.
Leon looked at Merlin with a blank face, Arthur was blushing like crazy under his make-up and Sophia came into the room snickering. She was wearing a Daphne costume, matching with Leon. She shook her head in amusement as she took the pastries with her to the kitchen.
”What do… What do you mean by that?” Arthur asked awkwardly.
”Noth-” Leon started, but Merlin cut in.
”That knight of yours can do some crazy positions. I didn’t even know that a human body can do su-”, Merlin got to explaining, moving his hands as he tried to demonstrate the sight he had seen, but Leon placed his hand against Merlin’s mouth.
”Alright! I think we’ve talked about this enough”, he huffed and followed Sophia back to the kitchen, Merlin and Arthur behind him as well.
”I’m just trying to get past my trauma by sharing it”, Merlin snickered, getting an eye roll from his friend.
”How about some bubbly instead?” Sophia giggled and held a tray of four glasses ofsparkling wine in front of the three men.
After everyone got a glass in hand they clinked them, Arthur very scared in breaking the delicate drinking vessel. He was used to more sturdy and rough glasses and goblets. He took a sip of the foreign drink, Merlin grinning behind his glass as Arthur grimaced at the taste.
”I think I will stick with the cider”, he said and put the glass down on the table next to a fake jack-o’-lantern.
”Don’t worry. There’s plenty of it and I can see you took your own as well”, the woman said, pointing at the plastic bag next to the table.
”Oh yeah, they need to be put in the fridge”, Merlin said after downing the drink and started making his way to the bag but Sophia was quicker.
”I can do it”, Sophia smiled as she took the bag. ”You two can go set the table for board games. I will get the snacks ready with this handsome Dracula”, she added winking and tugged Arthur closer to him.
”Why do I have a feeling you have something on your mind?” Leon questioned raising his eyebrow at the woman.
”I don’t know anything about that”, she answered mischeviously. ”Now, shoo.”
Merlin and Leon made their way to the living room. Merlin looked around inspecting the Halloween decorations. There were few string lights on the windows, a skeleton wearing a witch’s costume and little pumpkins and cauldrons all over the place. With a flick of his wrist and a brief moment of golden hued eyes Merlin made green fog come out of the cauldrons. On the table that had seen many board game nights sat a big bowl of candy and chocolate.
”We had the talk today”, Merlin said and took a piece of chocolate from the bowl as he watched Leon make his way to the book shelf to go through the games.
”The talk or the talk?” Leon hummed and as he got his hands on Ticket to Ride he felt something hit the back of his head.
”Oh, shut your mouth”, Merlin grumbled with chocolate in his mouth, the wrapper of said chocolate being the ammo towards Leon. ”You know… The talk. About Camelot. Obviously not all of it, but it’s a start.”
”Oh yeah?” Leon said almost surprised and walked to the table, glancing towards the kitchen to see Sophia show Arthur how to use the microwave. ”How did that go?” he asked turning back to Merlin, knowing how painful the subject could be to his friend.
”Well, not that well… But I guess it wasn’t too bad”, the other shrugged and took the bowl in his hands to let Leon place the game on the table.
”Thats’s good”, Leon smiled fondly at Merlin and squeezed gently his shoulder before going back to the shelf.
He picked up the wrapper to throw it into a bin. He glanced towards Sophia and Arthur once again, noticing Arthur’s eyes on ever so oblivious Merlin who was setting up the game on the table. Leon noticed some curiosity and maybe even shyness and uncertainty in Arthur’s gaze as he scanned Merlin in his long black dress. Leon just grinned to himself, but then felt a piercing gaze on him. He turned to lock eyes with Sophia. The two shared a knowing smile before they got back to their tasks. Sophia started cutting the pumpkin pie and Leon went to help Merlin with the game.
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The pie and pastries destroyed, few glasses of apple cider gone and the game nearing it’s end the four heard the door bell ring.
”Oh, trick or treaters!” Sophia squeeled and jumped up to get the candy bowl.
”Oh?” Arthur asked hiccuping.
”You got to see this”, Merlin said as enthusiastically as Sophia.
The four made their way to the hallway. Merlin scratched his scalp and wondered why he didn’t just do magic on his hair since the big wig was itchy as hell. He catched Arthur staring as he adjusted the wig in front of the mirror. He spun around to give a small smile. Arthur looked like a deer in the headlights and awkwardly made his way to the door where Leon and Sophia were already waiting. Arthur hoped the face paint was hiding his furiously blushing cheeks. When all four were ready Sophia opened to door to see three kids.
”Trick or treat!” the kids shouted happily.
”Well hello, what do we have here?” Sophia cooed and kneeled a bit to see the kids better. ”A werewolf? You better not do anything to my friend Dracula here”, she joked and pointed at clueless looking Arthur.
”Only if I get few pieces of candy”, the werewolf growled towards Arthur, making Leon and Sophia laugh and Merlin smirk at Arthur who was fidgeting on the spot.
”Alright, you can get a few”, Sophia said and offered the bowl to the kid. ”Who else do we have here?” she continued and looked at the two other kids.
”I’m Rapunzel!”
”And I’m the grand wizard Merlin!”
Sophia bit her lip trying not to laugh and Leon tried to hide his smile behind his hand as Arthur stared perplexed at the kid claiming to be Merlin. The blue cloak and the long white beard didn’t really scream Merlin to him. He looked back and forth the two Merlins, trying to figure out what was going on. Merlin didn’t looked too amused.
”Oh and how lovely Rapunzel and Merlin we have here”, Sophia said clearing her throat, trying to control her amusement. ”No scary spells if you all three get a few extra candies, alright?”
”Yesss!” the kids yelled in unison, the one as Rapunzel almost tripping on her long wig as they got towards the bowl excited to get a few more pieces. ”Thank you!” they said before waving their goodbyes and continuing their journey.
The four got back inside. As the door finally closed, Leon and Sophia bursted into laughter. Merlin just rolled his eyes and walked towards the kitchen. The other three followed him there.
”Oh fuck you guys”, Merlin whined as he got the fridge to get more cider. ”It wasn’t that funny.”
”Yes, yes it was”, Leon chuckled and wiped away few tears of laughter. ”Did you see Arthur’s face?”
”That kid was m- our Merlin?” Arthur asked, pointing towards the door. ”With a beard?”
”I blame Leon!” Merlin exclaimed and opened the bottle of cider. ”I never described myself as an senile old man when telling the stories.”
”I don’t remember doing that either”, the accused man grinned and got a punch on the arm as a result. ”I swear!”
”Yeah, I call bullshit”, Merlin barked, but a smile was forming on his lips as well.
Soon enough the whole group was laughing as they made their way back to the living room to finish the game. They continued with other games and few more trick or treaters came as well, but as the evening started to turn to night the four got to hang out in peace. A lot more cider and beer found their ways into their bellies and the group were getting rather tipsy. At some point Leon and Merlin noticed Sophia taking Arthur to the kitchen. The two were chatting about something, but Merlin and Leon couldn’t here what they were.
”What’s up with that?” Merlin asked, his voice a bit slurred and pointed towards the two.
”Yeah, that can’t be good”, Leon replied as they watched Sophia smile devilishly and Arthur squirm and looking down sheepishly.
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As the time neared two in the morning Merlin and Arthur were getting ready to head home. Leon smiled as he watched his two friends try to get their jackets on, both of their make-ups smeared, Merlin’s wig crooked to the side and Arthur’s cloak completely missing. Finally they got their shoes on as well and were ready to head out. They hugged their goodbyes and got out of the house, their walking looking arther wobbly.
”So, care to explain what you said to Arthur earlier to make him all flustered like a schoolgirl?” Leon asked as they watched the drunken pair walk away.
”You’ll see my love”, the redhead mused, making Leon turn to him suspiciously.
”With a second thought… I’m not sure do I even want to know”, Leon muttered and rolled his eyes as Sophia giggled at his words.
”You’ll see”, she repeated and spun around to face Leon. ”But now you’ll see something else my love”, she continued winking and tugged the collar of Leon’s shirt, the man blushing a bit at the action. ”Look who’s all flustered now”, she teased and lead them inside the apartment.
”I believe that’s just the cider doing it’s tricks”, Leon tried and closed the door.
”Sure, my darling. Whatever you say.”
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”I really want you to understand that I didn’t mean when I said it”, Arthur slurred as they walked down the road and kicked a pebble, the two watching it disappear into the dark bushes by the road.
”Said what?” Merlin asked a bit confused after there were no sign of the little pebble anymore.
They both were drunk and their movements and speaking were a bit more slowed down than usually, but Merlin could notice that it wasn’t just drunkness that made Arthur hesitate to answer that question. They walked in silence for a minute and Merlin nudged Arthur’s side, encouraging him to speak again. Arthur cleared his throat and licked his lips before opening his mouth.
”That I didn’t have any of those dear people around when I woke up.”
Arthur kept walking, staring at his feet, too embarrased to face his old friend. He wasn’t used to talking about his feelings. There were no time to talk about such things back in the day, but these few months, the weird sense of the modern world, the strong cider and Sophia talking nonsense were making him say things he hadn’t even dared to think about before. He didn’t notice that Merlin had stopped on his tracks when he continued speaking.
”In fact, I-I had the dearest- th-the most important one greeting me almost instantly”, Arthur stammered and raised his head to look at Merlin, but didn’t see him by his side anymore. ”Mer-” he started to call for the sorcerer, but then saw Merlin behind him, tears gleaming in his eyes.
”You’re lucky that he is the immortal one. Leon is and has always been the most loyal one and by your side”, Merlin whispered and forced a smile.
”Merlin please!” Arthur cried out and walked, run, back where Merlin was.
”What? It’s true.”
”It’s you! It has always been you”, Arthur almost yelled, taking a hold of Merlin’s arms, shaking the man a bit. ”Ever since you called me prat and my lord in the same sentence you’ve somehow managed to push all of my right buttons and even the wrong buttons in the right way. I don’t think-”
”Art-”
”Let me fin-”
Merlin suddenly grabbed Arthur by his vest and pulled him close, making their noses touch. They smelled the faint mix of crisp apple cider and spicy pumpkin pie in each other’s breaths. Merlin tried to focus his eyes, but the alcohol was really starting to kick in and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing he now saw those beautiful pair of blue eyes as two pairs and the piercing gaze felt even more intoxicating than usually. Truth to be told Merlin was scared, but he was also drunk so confidence was taking over him as he started to close the distance between their lips. He felt Arthur’s other hand moving to his hip and Merlin had never felt something so electrifying during his long life. Just as their lips were about to meet Merlin’s eyes turned wide as something rumbled inside him.
”Oh shit”, he whispered, Arthur feeling the breeze on his lips.
”Wh-”
Before Arthur managed to finish his short question Merlin pushed him away and run to the nearest bush. Arthur closed his eyes as he heard Merlin gagging the puke out of his body. Arthur pinched his nose, trying to collect his drunken thoughts as he turned to see his friend hunched over the bush. He noticed the big black wig thrown to the side as well. He was lost.
”What the hell just happened?” he muttered to himself.