Chapter Text
A Transcript from Richie Tozier's show, last night, San Fransisco
“So the thing is I recently went back to my hometown for a bit. I hadn’t been in nearly thirty years. And I had a pretty fucked up childhood. I guess you kinda have to to be a comedian. At least a mediocre comedian like me. You all are basically my therapists, except you pay me to talk to you rather than the other way around. But the thing about horrible childhoods is sometimes you forget them. You think it was normal until you get together with your childhood friends and come face to face with your crush.
“Let me talk about my childhood crush for a second. Cause my logic as a twelve year old was to just be really mean and an asshole. I mean that was my logic for everything, but specifically this. You know how when your parents are like ‘oh he’s being mean to you because he likes you?’ First of all what the fuck is that about. If somebody is mean to you then they probably don’t like you. Except me, but I was a little feral child and probably should never be used as an example.
“But I’m getting ahead of myself. So I’m there at this little runion- we called ourselves Losers. That’s with a capital L. I don’t even know how to unpack that for you. So I’m there and in come’s little baby Richie’s childhood dreamboat and I think my brain would have exploded if I thought too hard. What did I do? I was somehow more of an asshole then I had been as a kid. Cause hey! It hadn’t worked then it’ll totally work now. That’s how logic works right.”
“You want to know all the gory details though don’t you. I mean, I’ve been airing my dirty laundry publicly for a while and I’m dancing around this and you want to know why. And the truth is because I’ve never really said this outloud. So you get to be the first I guess. And that truth is that I’m gay.
“I know! I’ve made so many girlfriend jokes! So many straight men jokes. You must think that I’m bullshitting you but I’m not! I’m gay. And guess what! He’s here! You don’t know who it is. Maybe he’s sitting right next to you. What a mystery it is. But what matters is that I’m saying it now. Now I don’t have to keep it inside anymore. Cause it sucks to be that deep in the closet. And I feel weird about it. Saying this to you now, you lovely kind strangers who I have never met and can only vaguely see in the darkness. But you know something that it took me over thirty years to admit to myself. And you didn’t even buy me dinner first.
“But that’s all I have for you tonight. You’ve been wonderful and I appreciate you listening. And not, like, booing me off the stage. Goodnight everybody.”
Richie Tozier ✓
@trashmouthtozier
u guys are much nicer than when i was a kid. feels weird to be a hashtag for a good thing and not a breakdown. i’m telling him he’s trending btw.
tozierstan™
@trashmanstan
*elphaba voice a la the wizard and i*
Did that really just happen? #toziersanfrancisco #mysteryman
TMZ ✓
@TMZ
Comedian Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier comes out as gay in first show since infamous LA breakdown nearly a year ago. Who’s the mystery man in the audience? Let’s discuss.
Bill Denbrough ✓
@billdenbrough
I’m very proud of my friend @trashmouthtozier and I am not spilling any of the confidential information I have in regards to the #mysteryman. I’m not facing Richie’s wrath.
Buzzfeed Celeb ✓
@BuzzfeedCeleb
Richie Tozier Just Came Out as Gay and I’m Having a Moment
billiam denbrough can get it
@billiamdenbroughh
Guess who’s watched this clip on youtube and cried four times! It’s me! I did!
Entertainment Weekly ✓
@EW
Who’s Richie Tozier’s #mysteryman? Let’s go over the possibilities.
tozierstan™
@trashmanstan
A part of me is like richie deserves to tell us who he’s dating when and if he wants to but the feral part of my brain is like….more please #mysteryman
Ben Hanscom ✓
@benjaminhanscom
I’m way flattered by your guesses that I’m the #mysteryman but Richie said I’m supposed to tell you that “you’re really hot ben but you’re not my type and don’t let the people think that.” I’m not sure if that’s really an insult or not but that’s what I can offer you
E! News
@enews
Watch: Comedian Richie Tozier comes out in personal bit yesterday at San Fran show.
Out of context Richie Tozier
@ooctozier
A THREAD: I run this account for fun bc I like Richie but I’d like to take a moment to personally say that I will continue to support and love Richie. It takes guts to come out in such a public way. I know some jokes have been off color in the past. <
And since we’ve learned that he didn’t used to write is own stuff, I can’t help thinking about how he had to say all those jokes, especially the vaguely homophobic and heterosexist ones, being a gay man.
We make fun of his older stuff but I look forward to hearing his new work and maybe finding out who the #mysteryman is when and if they both decide to share that information.
Regardless I look forward to finding more out of context quotes for you, and watching Richie be happy. Xoxo
stream Attic Room now!
@horrorfanatic
I am getting emotional over those new photos of @trashmouthtozier from last night where he’s outside the venue. He looks better somehow. Idk i can’t explain it but it made me want to cry.
Bev Marsh ✓
@BeverlyMarshInc
Richie and I have been friends for a long time, and I love and support him now just as much as I did then. I could not be prouder of him. And yes, I see your tweets, no I will not share.
Jenny Wilkes
@jennywilkes2
I was at the San Francisco show and I’m going to lose my mind if whenever Richie Tozier reveals the #mysteryman and I saw him there.
LAT Entertainment ✓
@latimesent
Opinion: I’m proud of Richie Tozier. Here’s why you should be too.
Richie Tozier News
@RTnews
I spent three hours going through every person on Twitter that Richie is following, and found several people who don’t appear to be celebrities that he’s following. It didn’t really help me in my search but narrowed it down slightly. Or it didn’t. I don’t know actually.
Buzzfeed Celeb ✓
@BuzzfeedCeleb
#mysteryman has been trending off and on for three days. Let’s see what we know.
Mike Hanlon
@mikeyhanlon
I’m not the #mysteryman. But thank you for all of the compliments I guess?
Stanley Uris
@stanuris
@trashmouthtozier PLEASE come collect your fans.
Richie Tozier ✓
@trashmouthtozier
@stanuris Stan is by far one of the coolest people I know but it’s not him!
I’m the Trashman
@generaltozierdumpster
I think that the fact that we’re all so desperate to see who it is @trashmouthtozier is dating is funny but like… he doesn’t owe it to us to tell us anything. Especially if he was in the closet so long and had a hard time coming out. He might want to keep this private for a while and I do respect that.
Richie Tozier ✓
@trashmouthtozier
I told him that he should change his twitter handle to mystery man and he said no :(
toziertrash™
@trashmanstan
I’m going to hyperventilate bc it’s confirmed that the mysteryman has a twitter and for sure saw all our stalker tweets
Richie Tozier ✓
@trashmouthtozier
@trashmanstan he thinks you all are funnier than me don’t worry
toziertrash ™
@trashmanstan
I’M GOING TO EXPLODE RICH TOZIER SAW MY TWEET? AM I LIVING REAL ACTUAL LIFE? SOMEBODY PINCH ME
Buzzfeed Celeb✓
@BuzzfeedCeleb
Guess who Richie Tozier just introduced the world to?
Richie Tozier ✓
@trashmouthtozier
Eds if you could tell the people one thing what would you say?
Eddie Kaspbrak
@eddiek
@trashmouthtozier is not funny and he never has been. Good thing I love him a lot.