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Tangled Threads by merakily
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
24 Dec 2020
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Summary
Wei Wuxian is Xue Yang’s anger management therapist who is apparently very, extremely single. That is unacceptable.
Xue Yang: relationship detective? More likely than you think.
(Wei Wuxian has barely closed the door behind him when he says, unprompted, “I licked peanut butter off Lan Zhan’s fingers this morning.”
“What the fuck,” Xue Yang says without missing a beat as he plops himself into Wei Wuxian’s plush therapy armchair.)
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Bookmark Notes:
Xue Yang, in fact, does know how much peanut butter costs. “$4.77 for a kilo. Kraft smooth and crunchy are the same. $4.48 for 500 grams of Jif. But really, you should be buying No Name. $3.48 for a kilo.”
The reason Xue Yang knows this is because he may or may not have shoplifted a Superstore on his way to school that morning. What makes Wei Wuxian the best is that he does not ask why Xue Yang knows the local peanut butter market so well.
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Wei Wuxian is one of those people who drinks pretentious infused water. Unlike every other drinker of infused water Xue Yang has ever come across, Wei Wuxian does not do it for the health benefits.Xue Yang eyes the clear water bottle sitting beside Wei Wuxian’s work monitor. It is an innocuous bottle, so long as one overlooks the fact that Wei Wuxian has elected to infuse his water with a horrifying concoction of Sichuan peppercorn, habanero, and jalapeno peppers.
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“Lan Zhan likes my soup.”
“Does he, though?”
“Of course he does! When it’s not soaking into his pillow, at least.”
“Why is your soup in his pillow.”
“His bed is comfier than his chair.”
“Why the fuck are you in his bed.”
“Not in, on. Important distinction. - 1 -
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