Work Text:
“Tadashi, I gave you my heart, so please take care of it,”
The stars shine brightly under the dark indigo skies, Tsukishima Tadashi, sat alone under the night sky on a nicely laid out blanket, reminiscing about the old days when his lover sat beside him.
That was four years ago…
He watched as the sun rose, reminding him that he needed to go back to work, he then grabbed the blanket folding it neatly, grumbling in annoyance. He spent many sleepless nights under the stars… after what happened four years ago….
He was afraid something might happen when he was asleep...much like what happened….
Four years ago…
Loading the blanket in his car, he then drove towards a semi big building, parking in a special parking place for the employees. It's been twelve years since he graduated high school… he missed those old days, the carefree laughter, the jokes, the games. ..
His teammates ..
It seems as bad luck as graced the old team … since it seems like after every four years… someone seems to leave them.
First Hinata… then Kei…. Now who's next? He sighed…
Entering the building he was instantly greeted by the front desk.
"Good morning Tsukishima-san!" On instinct, Tadashi turned around hoping to see the salty dinosaur when he then realized who she was talking to…
"Oh ..uh-.. Morning Utaro-san" Tadashi greeted, giving the woman a kind smile..
How embarrassing, Tadashi thought, his face flushing a bright red.
"Uh, Sanjiri-san left this here for you to fill out," Utaro said shyly, sliding a pile of paperwork across her desk towards the freckled male who stared sulkingly by the amount of paper.
"Ok.." he mumbled quietly, he then reached for his own pen and started reading through the papers.
"Uhm … Tsukishima-san, I have a question to ask you…. It might be a little personal though" Utaro mumbled nervously, playing with the tips of her hair.
"No, no go ahead" Tadashi mumbled, not really paying attention to the girl.
"Um okay" she paused for a moment, before taking a deep breath in, pondering on her words.
"W-why do you get so startled.. or uh… sad when I greet you in the morning? You always look behind you and you… uhm.. what I'm trying to say is…'' she took a deep breath in before continuing.
"Why do you look so confused when I greet you in the morning?" She asked, hiding her flushed face behind her hands.
Startled by the question, Tadashi dropped his pen…
Composing himself, he turned to Utaro who was frantically mumbling an apology.
"Well… um… it's my late husband's last name and… uh I guess I'm not really used to being called by it..." Tadashi answered, expecting that Utaro would be disgusted after finding out he was gay…
"W-wait really?! You had a husband?! You're gay?!" Utaro asked, surprised.
Looking down embarrassed, he nodded.
"T-that's--" expecting her to say gross, Tadashi prepared himself for insults on how disgusting he was or something like that…
"That's so cool! I've never met anyone who's gay or even married! AH! IT'S LIKE IN THE MANGAS~!" Utaro squealed, clasping her hands together. Literally fangirling. Tadashi, who totally didn’t expect this reaction, blushed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Realising her unprofessional outburst, Utaro started bowing frantically, begging for forgiveness.
“I-it’s okay...really Utaro-san..” Tadashi said, laughing nervously as she continued to bow, muttering an apology.
“U-um...Can.. Can I ask you how you both fell in love? And L-late husband so he’s dead? SORRY IF THAT WAS INSENSITIVE...Uhm… My o-older sister Aiko, she's a doctor… um she knew a gay couple, t-they dated for two weeks before...one of them d-died...A-ah sorry” Utaro rambled, her face brighter than a tomato….
“No, no It’s okay..” Tadashi muttered, a small smile on his face…
“We got even closer...after a friend of ours died…”
(...)
Old Karasuno losers
TanaRyuu: ayy ayy, tell the lil shorty come ‘ere!
SugaKou: Shorty? Which one? Noya or Hinata?
NoyaYuu: Imma just pretend I didn’t see that-
NoyaYuu: I’m tryna blow her back out, walking funny for a year~
SugaKou: …wait what?
SawaDaichi: No clue…I honsty don't know what's going on
SawaDaichi:*honestly
NoyaYuu:BAHHSHHSHAHAH IT’S HONSTY NOW
TanaRyuu: Honestly who? I only know honsty
NoyaYuu:BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHh
SugaKou: Y’all are so troublesome, I’m leaving here for tonight, Night guys
YachHito:Night!
EnnoChik:night
TanaRyuu:Night
TanaKiyo:good night
SawaDaichi:Night YamaTada:Night!
AzuAsa:night
SugaKou went offline.
TanaRyuu:Anywaysss
TanaRyuu: She tells me that she wants me, that’s the shit I always here~
TanaKiyo: …
TanaRyuu: <3 <3 <3
EnnoChik: Kiyoko jealous???👀👀👀
TanaKiyo:maybe…
TanaRyuu: WAIT HOLD UP REALLY?HHDHSDHHSDH 🥺🥺🥺🥺
TanaKiyo:yes…
TanaRyuu: OMG HDHDHHD I LOVE YOU HDHDHHD❤❤❤❤😍😍😍😍💞💕🥰🥰
TanaKiyo: Ilyt
NoyaYuu:Not my bro winning our goddess’ heart 😢😭
TsukiKei: No y’all wrong, not everyone other than tanaka-san, the shrimp and king single🙄
EnnoChik: uM cHiLe aNyWaYs-
NoyaYuu: That hurtsss 😢😭💔💔💔
→replying to TsukiKei: No y’all wrong, Not everyone other than Tanaka-san, the shrimp and king single 🙄
NoyaYuu: Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too-?
TsukiKei:😏😎
NoyaYuu:Anywhoo
NoyaYuu: I got three bitches on me like the three musketeers!
AzuAsa:...really?
EnnoChik: noya a player 👀
→replying to AzuAsa:...really?
NoyaYuu: No 💔 ;-;
→replying to EnnoChik:Noya a player👀
NoyaYuu:Nah bro, single like a broken pringle 😢😭💔
TanaRyuu: BAHAHAH RIP DUDE! I HAVE KIYOKO <3
NoyaYuu: Bitc-... better watch your woman bro, Imma steal her <3
TanaKiyo:No <3
TanaRyuu:No <3
YamaTada: You all are so chaotic lol
YachHito: Ikr XD
Yamaguchi smiled, the group chat was buzzing every second…
It’s been two hours since their mini reunion at the gym for Hinata, however it felt like it's been days for Yamaguchi….
He really did miss them...
“These idiots...blowing up my phone” Tsukki grumbled, his phone in one hand, a bag of chips in another. Tsukishima was currently hanging out at Yamaguchi’s place, they’ve decided to binge some movies and chill….after the chaotic night…Yamaguchi laughed, he glanced back at his phone, a smile still present on his face. Suddenly, his phone started ringing… it was the group chat…He glanced at Tsukki, who mindlessly fiddled with the remote, attempting to find a good movie to watch…
“..Should I answer it?” Yamaguchi asked, hesitantly…
“Nah, they’re probably just calling so they could swear at each other or something” Tsukki mumbled, clicking on a movie, reading the description then moving on…
“Ok” Yamaguchi muttered, tossing the phone aside, getting in a comfortable position for the movie
(...)
After the movie, Yamaguchi found himself still wide awake, he glanced at his side noticing Tsukki was fast asleep, his head resting on Yamaguchi’s shoulders. His face flushed red, the scent of strawberry shampoo intoxicated him…
Why was that?
…
He smiled nervously as his heart started to flutter and butterflies appeared in his stomach, feeling quite tired, he laid his head against Tsukki’s and fell… asleep…
_
The sudden sound of notifications ringing like crazy woke Yamaguchi up. Rubbing his eyes, he froze in realization when he figured what position he was in…His head laid on Tsukki’s lap who was still fast asleep, his back against the couch…Flushing furiously, Yamaguchi stood up abruptly, hoping that he didn’t wake up the male. He then took notice of his and Tsukki’s phone which blew up with notifications…
Taking his phone, he logged in…
421 unread messages.
Yamaguchi scrolled through the chaos… until he came across an article...Sugawara-san sent…
SugaKou: A brutal car accident on Sakura street, two males injured, One severely injured, the other dead.
For some reason, Yamaguchi’s heart dropped…
He clicked on the article and started reading…
...Two males found in a car crash, they were identified as Kageyama Tobio (21) and Hinata Shoyo (21), Kageyama-san was severely injured in the crash, but sadly, Hinata Shoyo passed…
Yamaguchi dropped his phone causing a loud bang, his eyes widened...It wasn’t real right?
He picked up the phone ignoring the new cracks, scrolling through the messages.
TanaRyuu:...wtf...that's not real…@HinaSho you’re safe in the hospital right?!
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho YOUR SAFE RIGHT @HinaSho
SugaKou: @KageTobi YOU’RE WITH HINATA RIGHT KAGEYAMA?!
TanaRyuu: Everyone, @ kageyama and hinata
NoyaYuu: @KageTobi
AzuAsa:@KageTobi
SawaDaichi:@KageTobi
SugaKou:@KageTobi
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho SHOYO ANSWER PLEASE
NoyaYuu: @HinaSho
NoyaYuu:BRO @KageTobi BRO SHOYO IS SAFE RIGHT?!
AzuAsa::Calm Down Noya….
NoyaYuu: I CAN’T I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM YET.. U GUYS ARE SO FUCKING LUCKY U GOT TO SEE HIM BUT NOT THIS BITCH!
AzuAsa:...
SugaKou:@HinaSho please Answer @KageTobi
YachHito: @HinaSho @HinaSho PLEASE ANSWERR
TanaKiyo: @HinaSho @KageTobi
… it was chaos… their phones were blowing up...in hopes to contact the two…
Yamaguchi felt tears blurry his vision… no…
This wasn’t supposed to happen…
They…
They were supposed to become volleyball stars right? Hinata and Kageyama…
They…
They…
They were supposed to live!
To get married!
…
“Y-yamaguchi?” A soft yet husky voice called out to him, causing Yamaguchi to freeze...What in the world was he gonna tell Tsukki now..?
“Why the hell are you crying?” Tsukishima asked, standing up and approaching the freckled male, who stared at his phone, refusing to look away.
“...’ Yamaguchi didn’t answer… how was he… going to tell him…? Tsukishima sighed, he sat beside the male who refused to say anything, he ran his fingers through his blonde locks, stressed out and confused.
“Look, I’m not going anywhere ‘til you tell me why you’re crying” Tsukishima said boredly as he stared at the stubborn male who was balling his eyes out…Yamaguchi looked up, staring into Tsukishima’s gorgeous brown eyes, he felt disgusted with how he looked right now…
But that didn’t matter.
“H-hinata… H-he’s d-...dead...he d-died in a car… accident...” Yamaguchi murmured…
Tsukishima’s eyes widened… tears started blurring his vision…It felt hard to breath…
What?
His mind was blank, his heart beating way too quickly, what?
The Shrimp is…?
What? No…
He’s…
He’s fine right?
RIGHT?!
“That's…. Not...t-true right… Y-Yamaguchi? The shrimp… is too energetic to die… to...f-full of life… that’s a lie.. N-no… a stupid car accident can’t kill...someone like him” Tsukishima stuttered, shaking his head frantically.
What was this pain?
Why did he care?
Why?
‘I-it's not a lie… T-tsukki…” Yamaguchi murmured, he then showed him the phone with the article…
“No” Tsukishima muttered…
“Nope not true… I’m not accepting it...nope… that’s fake news… the media just wants attention… the king and Shrimp are fine Yamaguchi..J-just fine” Tsukishima murmured to himself, he curled into a ball and started crying…
Sobbing, painful and agonizing screams escaping his lips…
Yamaguchi’s heart started hurting… more then before… the agony…
Why?
Why?
Tsukki kept on murmuring to himself… attempting to reassure himself that Hinata’s still alive...and breathing…
Yamaguchi started choking on his tears, his throat burned…
“thats n-not fucking real…” Tsukishima murmured, he then looked over at Yamaguchi, who himself was balling his eyes out….
“THAT’S NOT FUCKING TRUE! YOU HEAR ME YAMAGUCHI?! STOP FUCKING CRYING!” Tsukishima yelled, his face red, his mind clouded…
Why did Hinata’s death cause Tsukki so much pain?
“TSUKKI! STOP!” Yamaguchi approached Tsukishima and clinged on to the male who started pulling his hair in agony, Yamaguchi pulled Tsukishima close, in hopes to somewhat help the male, who was crying frantically…
“T-that's not true” Tsukishima murmured, burying his face onto Yamaguchi’s chest…
Why did it hurt Tsukki so much?
He’d never know….
___
The day of the funeral… was slow and painful…
Painfully slow… so many people who loved and adored Hinata were there…
His photo frame that stood in front of his coffin mocked them with his bright smile….full of life…
Everyone was crying…
His little sister Natsu, His parents… Kageyama, Sugawara, Daichi….Kenma…
Everyone…
Everyone who’s life was impacted by a man so small… but with a dream and heart so big was there...
“SHOYO” Nishinoya screamed as he bursted through the door, he ran towards the coffin, his eyes red and puffy, filled with tears…
“S-Shoyo!” Nishinoya screamed, his scream was filled with agony and pain as he approached the coffin and stared at his Kouhai’s pale unmoving body…
Yamaguchi can only imagine the pain he was going through…
He glanced at his side, where Tsukki held his tears in, a cold indifferent expression on his face.
He was keeping it in…
Yamaguchi’s eyes continued to wander around the room… spotting Kenma who also stood in front of Hinata’s coffin, his teeth were clenched and his body shakes uncontrollably, with tears streaming down his face...Next to Kenma was Kuroo, who attempted his best to comfort his best friend…
Bokuto cried, his sobs muffled since his head was buried in Akaashi’s chest who comforted the Male.
“ONII-SAN!” Natsu yelled at the coffin, freeing herself from her mother's grasp as she ran to the box where her elder brother laid.
“Y-YOU PROMISED! Y-YOU-...Y-you…” Natsu's voice broke as she fell on her knees, her mother rushing to her sides, trying to get the girl to stand up, who refused.
“You...you..you promise you won’t leave...t-that you wouldn’t l-leave me! W-why?! Why?! WHY?! WHY DID YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE?! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!” Natsu yelled, holding onto the coffin as if her dear life depended on it, she was on her knees, crying, screaming for her dear brother to come back to life.
“DON’T-...Don’t-... D-don’t l-leave me…” Natsu begged, curling into a ball, sobbing.
Knowing that if he continued watching Natsu, he’d eventually start crying, he turned his head searching the room for Kageyama, who sat in a wheelchair, sobbing his heart out as well...hidden in the shadows...alone…
His body shakes violently with anger and sadness…. He was sad… so sad…
“SHOYOOO! YOU CAN’T BE DEAD! YOU PROMISED...Y-you promised..I’d get to see you again! I-...I’m supposed to teach you… how to do… the rolling thunder...remember?” Nishinoya’s voice broke and he collapsed on his knees, crying beside Natsu.
Tanaka and Kiyoko were also there… sobbing in a corner… and Yachi...who heartbrokenly sobbed her heart out as well, curled into a ball…
“H-hinata...you...dumbass” Kageyama murmured weakly, he rolled over to where the coffin was and stared at Hinata’s body…
“We..were supposed… to get… married...d-dumbass” Kageyama whispered…
Yamaguchi felt a stab to his heart… it was so painful…
He glanced back at Tsukki who glared at the coffin…
Yamaguchi reached for the males hand… giving it a comforting squeeze…
The taller blonde male froze… his knuckles were white from clenching them in a fist for too long…
“L-...Let’s get out of here...I-.. I think we stayed long enough… Hinata wouldn’t want us to be crying…” Yamaguchi murmured, tugging his friend from his seat…
Tsukishima followed him obediently, they bid farewell from the crying morning mother…
Once they got into their car, Tsukishima didn’t break into tears like Yamaguchi expected him to..
“T-Tsukki? A-are you-?”
“Drive” Tsukishima commanded coldly, his eyes straight ahead… a blank expression on his face…
“...” Yamaguchi remained silent, he turned towards Tsukki who refused to look at Yamaguchi…
“I said drive,” Tsukki repeated, his hand forming into a fist, his knuckles turning white…
“T-tsukki...i-if you need to cry… you can cry...you know” Yamaguchi mumbled hesitantly.
The older male turned his head glaring at Yamaguchi, his eyes were puffy and his cheeks were flushed, he looked angry and hurt…
“Shut up Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, irritated, waiting for the apology he was used to hearing from the freckled male…
“No Tsukki, I won’t shut up, I care about you and it isn’t healthy if you bottle up your feelings!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, turning towards the blonde haired male, who rubbed his eyes irritated.
“For fucks sake Yamaguchi, Leave me alone! Can’t you do that at least?” Tsukishima groaned, turning away from Yamaguchi, resting his head against the window, shutting his eyes.
“No Tsukki! If I leave you alone you’d hurt yourself! Please! Let me be there for you! I care about you a lot Tsukishima Kei, I want to stand beside you! Not behind you anymore! So please! Let me be there for you!” Yamaguchi said determined, he did want to stand beside him… he wanted to be equal to Tsukki!
He didn’t want… to be behind him...anymore…
“...” Tsukishima remained silent, he bit his lip in frustration and squeezed his eyes shut… Yamaguchi could only imagine what was going on in his mind.
A loud pained sob escaped Tsukki’s lips…
Yamaguchi reached out hesitantly, rubbing Tsukki’s back comfortingly as he sobbed..
What came out next... shocked him…
“I-.. I n-never got to t-tell the shrimp..t-that I-...how I-... truly feel”
(...)
Work was long and truly boring, Tadashi sluggishly filled out paperwork as Utaro talked on and on about different yaoi mangas and animes, proving that she really is a proud otaku.
Tadashi rubbed his eyes tiredly, he then proceeded to glance around the room noticing a calendar that hung on the billboard.
Monday April 21 2025
Tadashi stared at the date for a long time, something in the back of his mind telling him that the 21st of April was REALLY important…
But why was it important again?
…
Oh yeah… Hinata’s death anniversary…
Maybe… I’ll pay him a visit Tadashi thought, looking down at his watch, noticing that his shift was about to end…
“And so--... Tsukishima-san you’re heading out already?” Utaro asked, tilting her head sideways in confusion.
“Uh- Yeah… my shift is over in three minutes…” Tadashi said, double checking his watch to make sure he was correct.
“OH! Yeah, sorry…” Utaro apologized, her face a bright red…
“No, It’s alright” the freckled male mumbled, gathering his things and carefully placing them back into his bag.
“Well, I’ll get going now,” Tadashi said, fixing his posture.
“Uh Yeah! Bye Tsukishima-san!” Utaro exclaimed, bidding farewell to the older male.
“Bye!”
…
The drive to the cemetery wasn’t that long, the trip taking ten minute because he had decided at the last minute he should buy Hinata some flowers or something…
With a bouquet of flowers, Tadashi walked past multiple gravestones, making sure not to step on any.
As he approached Hinata’s grave, he noticed a silhouette of a man who stood at Hinata’s grave…
“Kage-.. Er, Hinata-kun!” Tadashi called out greeting the ravenette as he reached Hinata’s grave.
“Ya-... Tsukishima-san” The male responded, acknowledging his presence.
Hinata Tobio, his old teammate in high school… After Hinata Shoyo’s death Kageyama became a part time musician and volleyball player, a song he wrote Sunny place’s Lullaby… otherwise known as Hinata’s Lullaby was a big hit and many other songs about heartbreak and love …. Also, a few years ago, Kageyama changed his name to his lover's last name… why did he do it? Tadashi didn’t know…
“Umm… C-can I just call you Kageyama? I-it's...a little uh you know” Tadashi mumbled awkwardly, crouching down as he placed the bouquet of flowers near Tobio’s bouquet.
“Yeah sure… Can I call you Yamaguchi then?” Tobio asked, his dark blue eyes remaining on the marble tombstone…
“Uh… Yeah!” Tadashi mumbled, not ready for the awkward silence between them…
“Um..Shoko-chan’s not with you?” Tadashi asked, noticing that the young 3 year old girl wasn’t with him.
“Uh no… she’s at Onee-san’s place, I’m...just dropping by ” Tobio replied, running his fingers through his deep black hair.
“Oh”
Three years ago, Kageyama adopted a newborn, saying that it’d help him cope… and it did…
Hinata Shoko was almost like a female version of Hinata Shoyo, a young girl with untamable bright orange hair that stuck up all over the place and bright blue eyes that were filled with curiosity…
She was also just as energetic as a ball of energy…
“You.. should try… adopting…” Kageyama said, turning his head to face the freckled male, who stared at him bewilderedly.
“Um... I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.. I mean... ah..” Tadashi mumbled, attempting to find the right words but failed miserably.
A child? ….
With his daily routine he wouldn’t be able to find some time to take care of a child, let alone a newborn…
Plus, he bet he’d be a terrible father.
They stood in front of Hinata’s grave for a while in complete silence, not knowing what to say to each other..
And so on that fine day near the end of April, the old captain and the vice captain, stood in front of their fellow teammate’s tombstone, in complete utter silence.
(...)
It’s been a week since Hinata’s funeral, everything was still a shock to Yamaguchi…
Especially finding out that Tsukki… had feelings for Hinata…
Yamaguchi glanced anxiously at the door in front of him…
Room 201…
Tsukki’s apartment door..
Nervously, Yamaguchi knocked on the door, a small box of strawberry shortcake in hand..
Tsukishima opened the door, his eyes were slightly red, with bags beneath them…
“U-uh.. good evening Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, putting a bright smile for his friend.
“Evening” Tsukishima greeted, stepping aside so that the younger male could enter.
As Yamaguchi entered the apartment room, he nearly dropped the box of pastries in shock…
The apartment room was filthy,
Dishes piled on the counters and sink, paperwork scattered around the place and bottles of beer in a corner, opened bags of chips on the ground, Tsukishima’s textbooks were in the most randomness places.
“T-Tsukki! I was just here 5 days ago! H-how can this place be...be so..so messy!” Yamaguchi sputtered, bewildered at how messy the place was.
Tsukishima remained silent, probably not knowing what to say.
“Haah, whatever...just shut up” Tsukishima murmured after a while of silence, he rubbed his eyes irritatedly.
He then walked over to the dishes to start washing dishes just to please Yamaguchi who was staring at him with a pitiful gaze.
Yamaguchi sighed, he walked over to the dining table, tidying up the papers, tucking them neatly in a nice pile placing them beside his laptop.
As he attempted to clean the table, he noticed a small picture tucked under Tsukki’s notebooks.
Curious, Yamaguchi took the picture from under the book and immediately, he felt his heart break.
The photo was taken on their graduation day, Hinata stood in the middle between Tsukishima and Kageyama, while Yamaguchi stood at Tsukishima’s left while Yachi stood at Kageyama’s right, diploma’s in hands, with big bright smiles on their faces…
They looked so happy…
And they were…
Not realizing it before, but as he looked at the photo, Yamaguchi noticed Tsukishima’s eyes…
He was staring at Hinata…
Yamaguchi felt this unexplainable sadness and this odd bitter feeling in his chest that made his stomach churn…
Why was he feeling this?
“What are you looking at? Tsukishima asked, turning off the tap after he finished the dishes, then walking towards Yamaguchi who continued to stare at the photo in his hand.
Feeling Tsukishima tense up behind him, he turned his head noticing how sad Tsukishima seemed…
So he really did love Hinata huh?
“Uh...Tsukki.. If you don’t mind me asking.. How did you fall in l-love with Hinata-kun and...uh when?” Yamaguchi inquired, uncertain, knowing it was a risky topic.
“I don’t want to talk about it” Tsukishima responded, taking the photo from Yamaguchi and proceeded to turn around, his back facing Yamaguchi.
“P-please T-Tsukki… M-maybe I’ll b-be--” Yamaguchi stopped himself.. He shouldn’t bother him… it's only been a few days after all..maybe he was still recovering from Hinata’s-
“Second year… It happened in Second year” Tsukishima murmured quietly but loud enough for Yamaguchi to hear.
“Huh..?” Yamaguchi mumbled, turning to face Tsukishima who stared at the image in his hand for a long time.
“We were in second year...a-and.. It just… h-happened..I-..He..” Tsuki murmured, he then dropped to his knees, the photo slipping from his grasp..
Yamaguchi rushed to Tsukki’s side, he pulled the male to his arms as Tsukishima sobbed onto Yamaguchi’s chest.
Yamaguchi rubbed Tsukishima’s back in slow circles, hoping that it’ll help the pain.
Fifthteen minutes later, Tsukishima was no longer sobbing frantically, he freed himself from Yamaguchi’s embrace, leaning against the wall, then curling into a ball.
“A-are you o-okay now Tsukki-?”
”you remember when… okaa-san passed...right?’ Tsukishima asked quietly, his voice ever so quiet it was difficult to hear him..
“Yeah..’’ And he did, he remembered how devastated Tsukki was…
(...)
Yamaguchi looked around, Tsukki wasn’t here….
He turned to look at Ennoshita who was discussing something with Coach Ukai…
When he went to approach the pair the gym doors suddenly opened revealing Tsukishima.
His eyes were puffy and red, a sour look on his face…
The gym grew silent as Tsukishima proceeded to walk in as if he wasn’t 30 minutes late for practice and to everyone’s surprise…
Coach Ukai didn’t scold him on being late, he just merely glanced at him, nodding at him in acknowledgement,
“Um.. Tsukki… you good?” Yamaguchi asked as he approached his friend…
“Oh I don’t know Yamaguchi How would you feel if you lost your mother hm? Would you feel good?” Tsukishima asked coldly…
Yamaguchi froze, he didn’t expect that answer from Tsukki… He…
What was he going to say now…
“N-No” Yamaguchi replied in a small voice, hesitantly looking up to meet Tsukishima’s golden eyes.
“Tch” Tsukishima scoffed in annoyance, he turned his back at Yamaguchi,
“That’s what I thought” and he then disappeared, leaving the gym… Hinata following behind him…
...
“He… talked some sense into me… and he...was… there.” Tsukishima murmured softly, his eyes shut firmly…
Tsukishima groaned, he then laid down on the floor on his side, motionless…
At that moment, it was clear to Yamaguchi what he needed to do to help his friend...
“Hey Tsukki… I’ll be here for you… now… so you won’t have to be alone… I’ll be here for you… if you ever need anything or anyone…. Please remember… that I’m here… for you..”
(...)
He was hungry…
After his trip to the cemetery Tadashi was hungry… starving really, he just realized he didn’t eat breakfast in the morning or lunch during lunch time.
And so, he winds up in Samakata Supermarket, scrolling through the aisle looking for something good to eat or some snacks to munch on.
His mind deep in the gutter, wild thoughts running through his head, not noticing a particular toddler beside him.
“Tada-nii?” A child called out to him, pulling on the hems of his sweater.
Caught off guard, Tadashi looked down noticing a young boy with black hair, a beauty mark on his chin and big black eyes…
“Shoyo-chan? W-what are you doing here? Where’s Okaa-san and Oto-san?” Tadashi asked, picking up the young boy, who wrapped his tiny arms around Tadashi’s neck, holding on to him as if life depended on it.
“I-I don’t know I was playing hide and seek with Papa and I got lost!” Shoyo sobbed, wetting Tadashi’s neck as he cried for his parents.
“Ah sheesh, you’re lucky you found me Shoyo-chan, You could have gotten taken by a stranger” Tadashi mumbled, walking around with the 5 year old boy who clung onto Tadashi.
“Gomen Tada-nii” Shoyo apologized quietly.
“It’s alright Shoyo...but you need to apologize to your Okaa-san and Oto-san when we find them ‘kay?” Tadashi said, peaking into random aisles and moving on.
They walked around for five minutes, immediately finding a black haired woman who searched frantically for something...or someone.
“Shi-... Tanaka-Senpai” Tadashi called out, running towards the black haired women.
She looked up at Tadashi, a look of relief washed over her face.
“Y-.. .Tsukishima-kun...oh thank goodness, you found Shoyo'' Kiyoko said in relief as she reached out for her son, who happily jumped into his mother’s arms.
“Mama!” He exclaimed, hugging his mother tightly.
“Don’t EVER do that again, okay Shoyo? Don’t do that ever…” Kiyoko scolded her son, a stern yet gentle look in her eyes..
Shoyo wiped his tears, a big smile on his face.
“Okay mama! But… you always manage to find me Mama… Next time I’ll try to hide a little easier for you and papa...but you didn’t find me because Tada-nii did and so we found you mama!” Shoyo rambled, speaking whatever came to his mind as he beamed at his mama…
“I found you!” he continued, grinning brightly at the women.
Kiyoko smiled,
“You found me”
…
As Tadashi watched their interaction, he felt his heart melt.
How wholesome, he thought with a small smile on his face as he watched the pair…
If Kei was still alive and they adopted a child… would it be like this?
A happy family?
“SHOYOOOO” Tanaka Ryuunosuke yelled at the top of his lungs, running over to his wife and child.
“Papa!” Shoyo exclaimed happily, letting go of his mother and running to his father, who smiled nervously at his angered wife.
“Hey Sho, next time… try not to hide so hard- Ouch! Ah! That hurts Kiyo- ouch!”
“NEXT time, DON’T play Hide and seek at the supermarket? Our son could have gotten kidnapped you know!” Kiyoko fumed, pulling on her husband's ear, twisting it slightly.
“Ah! My goddess forgive me! I beg for your forgiveness, oh so amazing Kiyoko-! Ah-! Ouch!” Ryuunosuke exclaimed, begging his wife for mercy.
Kiyoko sighed letting go of Ryuunosuke’s ear, and bowed her head down in thanks to Tadashi who stared at her surprised.
“A-ah T-tanaka-s-senpai! You don’t have to do that you know? A-ah” Tadashi rambled his cheeks flushed pink.
Kiyoko raised her head, turning it slightly to look at her husband and her son who laughed happily together...
“It’s the least I can do, Tsukishima-kun… If you didn’t find Shoyo, then...who knows what could have happened” Kiyoko murmured softly, turning her attention back to Tadashi, who stared at the pair.
“W-well, you shouldn’t give me much credit T-tanaka-senpai, Truth be told, it was Shoyo who found me” Tadashi said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I-is that so?” Kiyoko asked, once more turning her head to glance at her family…
“Yeah” Tadashi responded, smiling at how happy the family seemed…
“That’s good” Kiyoko mumbled, her gaze still focused on her family.
“He’s really good at finding people… isn’t he?” Kiyoko muttered quietly, a sadden look washed over her face…
“I-is everything alright T-tanaka-senpai? Y-you look...sad” Tadashi mumbled, noticing something off with the female, who’s frown quickly disappeared with a smile taking its place.
“I’m fine Tsukishima-kun,” Kiyoko said, reassuring the freckled male.
She then thanked him once more, then made her way to her family, heading to the cashier to pay for the groceries.
Tadashi frowned, something was wrong with her….but what?
He sighed, making his way to the cashier paying for his snacks and drove to his parent’s house.
(...)
Soft crunching sounds were heard as Yamaguchi walked through the streets of Miyagi, looking for his best friend's apartment… sure he could have driven… but what fun would that be?
Winter was approaching soon, the last of leaves swirled in the wind, creating tiny tornadoes.
It was a rather chilly autumn afternoon and midterms were approaching.
He and Tsukishima have made plans to study together for the exams and so, with a box of strawberry shortcake, he found Tsukki’s apartment.
Climbing up the stairs, his pale fingers touch the chilly railings…
It sure was getting quite cold.
Once he reached Tsukishima’s door, he hesitantly knocked on the door waiting for his friend to open up, shivering as a cold gust of wind blew by.
It’s been a few months since Hinata’s death, and Yamaguchi was proud to say, Tsukki was slowly recovering…
Very Very slowly… but nevertheless… recovering.
Suddenly, the door opened revealing Tsukishima.
“Sorry… I was making some hot chocolate” Tsukki murmured, stepping aside to let Yamaguchi enter the household.
“A-ah, No problem” Yamaguchi murmured, peeling off his jacket, followed by his scarf then his sweater.
Not to mention, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi became closer…
Closer than before… He even became more kind...in Yamaguchi’s opinion to say the least.
He walked into the living room noticing it was rather tidy, there were no beer bottles or scattered papers…
He smiled… Tsukki definitely was recovering!
He walked over to the dining table, noticing two cups of Hot chocolate with marshmallows drenched in the hot liquid.
He placed the box of pastries down on the table, sitting comfortably on one of the chairs.
“I-is this my cup?” Yamaguchi asked, pointing to the cup in front of him.
“Well, I’m not expecting anyone else, so duh” Tsukishima replied, taking a sip out of his cup, his honey eyes staring at the box of pastries in front of him.
“Ah..Sorry Tsukki” He mumbled, taking the warm mug in his freezing trembling hands, he took a sip, not taking how hot it was in consideration..
He flinched, causing some of the hot chocolate to spill on his shirt, lap and hands…
Who knew hot chocolate could be so… so hot?
“Idiot Yamaguchi...look what you done” Tsukishima growled, standing and heading into the kitchen to most likely grab a rug to wipe the spill on the carpet.
“G-gomen Tsukki, I’ll buy you a new c-carpet” Yamaguchi stammered nervously, but to his surprise, Tsukishima came back with a first aid kit and a small face towel.
He crouched down in front of Yamaguchi and took his hands into his.
“Idiot, I could care less about the carpet, it’s your hands I’m worried about” He muttered, drying his hands with the towel and proceeded to grab bandages to wrap up his hands…
“A-ah s-sorry..” Yamaguchi murmured nervously, his face flushed a bright shade of red, his heart was beating way to fast
"What if you got burnt huh..?" Tsukishima mumbled to himself as he wrapped them carefully, his cool fingers leaving sparks as he touched the younger males hands.
What was this odd feeling? He felt so light headed and his heart was racing!
There were butterflies in his stomach and he felt like he could explode any moment.
He then shifted his eyes from his hands to Tsukishima who moved on to the next hand.
His blond hair was slightly messy, it grew a little longer and somewhat fell over his eyes, his glasses were perched up on the bridge of his nose, slipping every few seconds, his dark honey eyes narrowed and concentrated..
He looked… ethereal…
“There… finished” Tsukishima said as he stood up, he then began wiping the table and carpet, once he finished he stood back up and headed into the kitchen.
“I’ll get you some clothes to change too! Wait there!” Tsukki called out, most likely heading into his room.
“O-ok” Yamaguchi yelled back nervously, as he stared at his bandaged hands…
It was now clear as to what he felt for Tsukishima...
Why did he feel this way?
Tsukki was his best friend! And yet…
Yamaguchi’s heart clenched, why would Tsukishima ever return his feelings?
Tsukishima was so cool, smart, amazing, handsome, incredible-...
And he was...Lame and average...
no below average...
He squeezed his eyes shut..
Remembering something that made his heart ache…
-
-
-
He was in love with Hinata
(...)
Tadashi sighed, wrapping his arms tighter around his backpack.
Currently, he was on a train to Tokyo to spend his Christmas vacation.
He’s been working hard for many months without break, stressed out and extremely tired, he was lucky to be granted a two week vacation.
He looked out the window noticing small white specks on them…
Snow…
It was snowing…
His lips twitched into a smile as he admired the snowflakes, which melted upon contact to the window.
He then turned his attention back forward, finding himself falling asleep…
..
“ We are arriving at Tokyo in 5 minutes, please gather all your belongings”
The woman on the speaker announced, waking Tadashi up.
He looked side to side noticing people scrambling to get their bags and belongings.
Tadashi, who still had his bag in his arms, sighed in relief, staring out the window.
A thin layer of snow laid on top of rooftops, young kids rush around with snowballs in their hands joyfully tossing to each other.
Once the train came to an halt, passengers ran out of the train, probably already looking for their loved one that waited for them…
As he stepped out of the train, he shivered as a cold gust of wind came by, his teeth chattering, freezing on spot immediately.
Why was it so cold?
He watched as families gathered around, a feeling of loneliness washed over him…
Everyone was smiling and happy,
Everyone was warm and with someone….
Yet he was alone...and cold.
(...)
“TSUKKI! ” Yamaguchi called out, waving his hands in the air beckoning the tall blonde.
He watched as Tsukishima slowly dragged his feet to where he stood near the gates, beaming at Tsukki excitedly.
They have just finished Midterms exams and they were blessed with the great winter break, where the two have decided to celebrate in Tokyo.
It was rather cold, however, despite how cold it was, Yamaguchi didn’t feel a thing, actually, he felt happy and warm.
Butterflies erupt in his stomach and heart, imagining their adventures in Tokyo.
They eventually made their way down to the designated platform, waiting for the train to Tokyo.
“Are you excited Tsukki?! Cause I definitely am!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, excitedly.
His arms wrapped around his black and orange bag, a faded 12 and 1 patch sewn on the front.
“Eh” he responded, plopping on his headphones, blasting his music, drowning out Yamaguchi.
Yamaguchi felt a pang to his heart, however kept a small smile on for Tsukki.
He stood beside him, waiting for the train.
When the train arrived, Yamaguchi and Tsukki entered, looking for an available seat.
“I didn’t think it would be this packed…” Yamaguchi murmured, trying his best to follow Tsukki and not get lost in the sea of people.
“A-ah” he mumbled as he was being pushed back and separated from Tsukishima, losing sight of him momentarily.
As he fought through the seas of people he found it hopeless…
Then, he suddenly felt a hand gripping his own, his eyes trailed up noticing Tsukki holding his hand.
Before Yamaguchi can process anything though, Tsukishima tugged him forward causing Yamaguchi to trip and face plant onto Tsukishima’s chest. Tsukishima helped Yamaguchi get back up, still holding him close as he leaned in until he reached Yamaguchi’s ear.
“Stay close” he murmured, causing the tips of Yamaguchi’s ears to turn bright red.
Yamaguchi nodded, hoping that Tsukki couldn’t see his flushed face.
Tsukki guided Yamaguchi towards a vacant seat, his bag on the chair.
“Sit” Tsukishima ordered, letting Yamaguchi go.
“B-but T-tsukki!” Yamaguchi protested.
“Just go Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima sighed, putting his headphones back on, blasting music.
“O-okay..” Yamaguchi murmured, knowing that Tsukishima probably didn’t hear him,
He stared off into the distance, slowly falling asleep.
(...)
“We are arriving at Tokyo in 5 minutes, please gather all your belongings”
Yamaguchi shot up, his first instinct was to look for Tsukki.
When he couldn’t see him standing where he saw him last time, Yamaguchi started to panic.
Then, he suddenly felt weight on his shoulder…
He turned his head, noticing that...Tsukki was sitting beside him, his head against Yamaguchi’s shoulder, headphones still on.
Yamaguchi exhaled, a feeling of relief washing over.
“Tsukki! Wake up! We’ll be in Tokyo soon, come on” Yamaguchi whispered, shaking Tsukishima softly.
When Tsukki didn’t wake up, Yamaguchi came to the conclusion that Tsukishima couldn’t hear him.
Yamaguchi removed the head phones, placing them on his lap, he then continued on shaking Tsukki.
“Come on Tsukki! We’re almost there” Yamaguchi said softly, trying to wake up the blond.
“Mmm Shut up Yamaguchi..” Tsukishima murmured sleepily, moving his head, leaning against the wall.
“T-tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaimed quietly, shaking the blonde.
He looked out the window, noticing that they were approaching the platform.
“T-Tsukki! We’re literally here!” Yamaguchi said, panicked…
What if he wasn’t able to wake Tsukki?!
They’ll be stuck on the train!
Oh goodnes-
“Alright, alright, I’m up” Tsukishima groaned, removing his glasses, rubbing his eyes irritatedly.
“Oh thank goodness” Yamaguchi said sighing in relief.
Tsukishima stood up, grabbing their bags that were on the shelf on top of them.
He handed Yamaguchi his bag and grabbed his own.
“Where’s my headphones?” Tsukishima asked, realizing that they weren’t on him.
“Uhm, here.. I took them off cause I didn’t think you’d hear me” Yamaguchi whispered shyly, handing them to him.
Once the train came to a halt, passengers scurried out of the train, Yamaguchi tried his best to follow Tsukishima as they both exited the train.
Once they made it to the platform, a cold gust of wind blew through the station.
Yamaguchi shivered, blowing warm air on his hands.
“Cold?” Tsukishima asked, noticing that Yamaguchi didn’t have a scarf.
“uh...I’m alright Tsukki!” Yamaguchi responded smiling at him.
Tsukishima rolled his eyes, he took off his red scarf and wrapped it around Yamaguchi’s neck.
“T-Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, what if Tsukki got cold? Or sick?
I’d be my fault-
“Shut up Yamaguchi, don’t worry about me..I’ll be ok” he murmured, zipping up his jacket further.
“Sorry Tsukki” Yamaguchi whispered, following Tsukishima as they went up back into the outside world.
“TSUKEI! HEYHEYHEY!!!” A loud obnoxious voice called out to Tsukki, Yamaguchi turned his head, noticing the one and only Bokuto Koutarou.
Tsukishima groaned, cursing under his breath.
“Bokuto-san, please don’t call me that” Tsukki grumbled, Yamaguchi trailing behind him.
“Oya? Nice seeing you here Tsukki” Kuroo Tetsuro said, greeting the tall blonde.
“Tsukishima-san, Yamaguchi-san” Akaashi Keiji said, acknowledging Yamaguchi’s existence.
Kozume Kenma, hidden under his scarf, nodded at the two.
“Hello Akaashi-san, Kuroo-san, Kozume-san, Bokuto-san” Yamaguchi greeted, giving the four a polite smile.
Yamaguchi glanced at Tsukki, noticing that Tsukki didn’t greet them.
Tsukishima rolled his eyes,
“Hello” he greeted bluntly.
“I’m sorry about Tsukki” Yamaguchi apologized, bowing down in apology.
“No need to apologize Yamaguchi-san, In fact I’d like to apologize about Bokuto-san’s behaviour” Akaashi said, bowing down as well.
Once Yamaguchi finished his bow, he felt a hand grab his wrist pulling him back.
He looked behind him, noticing it was Tsukki who had a distasteful look on his face.
It was an awkward moment for Yamaguchi..
“Uhm..What are you guys doing here?” Yamaguchi asked, he didn’t tell anyone from Tokyo and he doubted Tsukki did too.
“A little birdy called Sugawara-san told us you’d be here,” Kuroo responded, smirking at the two.
“Sugawara-senpai? Wait why?” Yamaguchi asked, why would he..?
“He wanted us to look after you two..just in case..” Kozume spoke up, his gaze dropping back to the ground.
“We aren’t children” Tsukishima grumbled, kicking the ground with the tip of his boots.
“But it's for your safety…”Kozume said again, looking back up at Tsukki with narrowed eyes.
“We’ll be fine, we’re adults,” Tsukishima said, narrowing his eyes at Kozume as well.
“He was an adult yet he died, stop being stubborn and listen will you?” Kozume snapped, the two glaring daggers at each other.
“H-hey..you guys” Yamaguchi stammered, hoping it would ease the tension…
“He was sick to begin with, plus it wasn’t his fault, it was King’s fault, he should have paid attention” Tsukishima countered, ignoring Yamaguchi, who tried to stop the two.
“It wasn’t Kageyama-san’s fault it was the truck driver, it was proven he was drunk” Kozume said back, glaring at him.
“Hey Ken-” Kuroo said, attempting to cut in.
“Shut up Kuroo” Tsukishima and Kozume said in unison.
“A-ah.." Bokuto mumbled quietly, growing sad at the mention of his former now dead student.
“I’m sorry Bokuto-san” Akaashi murmured, rubbing the back of his best friend.
“Uhm you guys-” Yamaguchi said, trying to but in.
“I bet you’re just jealous you don’t live in Miyagi so you couldn’t visit him when he was still alive” Tsukishima said, narrowing his eyes at Kozume.
“I bet you’re jealous you weren’t as close to Shoyo as I was” Kozume spat.
“Hey, hey how about we all try to calm down, please?” Kuroo said, begging his best friend.
“You little-” Tsukishima murmured, going in to punch Kozume but was held back by Yamaguchi.
“Come at me” Kozume glared at Tsukishima, trying to get to him but was held back by Kuroo.
“Oi! Calm Down Kenma! Tsukki!” Kuroo yelled, struggling to hold Kozume down since he was actually trying to throw some hands at Tsukishima.
Meanwhile, Yamaguchi struggled to keep Tsukki from punching Kozume, thankfully Akaashi came to help Yamaguchi with Tsukki.
“Let go of me Kuroo!” Kozume yelled, completely forgetting the fact that they were in public.
“No! I won't let go ‘til both of you calm down!” Kuroo exclaimed.
“Yamaguchi! Let go!” Tsukishima yelled, struggling to get free from Akaashi and Yamaguchi’s grip.
“N-no Tsukki! Please calm down!” Yamaguchi begged.
He felt a pang to his heart, he thought Tsukki moved on from his crush on Hinata…
Guess he was wrong…
He hated the fact that he felt this way.
Jealousy..
He didn’t want to feel this way against Hinata…
He just wanted to have positive feelings towards his deceased teammate.
He bit his lip, a sigh escaping his lips.
He wrapped his arms around Tsukishima, pressing his face against his back.
“Please stop Tsukki...Hinata-kun wouldn’t want this..” he murmured, quiet enough for Kuroo, Kozume, Bokuto and Akaashi to hear but loud enough for Tsukki…
Tsukishima froze, he stopped struggling.
“How lame” he murmured, shrugging off Yamaguchi's embrace and removing Akaashi’s hands from his jacket.
“Come on Yamaguchi, let’s go” Tsukishima murmured, walking away from the group.
“G-gomenasai” Yamaguchi apologized, giving them a short bow and ran to catch up to Tsukki.
Once he catched up with Tsukki, Yamaguchi followed him, remaining silent…
he didn’t know what to say…
“T-tsukki...a-are you okay?” Yamaguchi asked,
What else was there to say?
He honestly didn’t expect an answer..
“No..I’m not” Tsukishima whispered quietly, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
Yamaguchi froze…
There was no hint of sarcasm...he didn’t even bother to lie…
Tsukishima turned to face Yamaguchi, his eyes were red and puffy…
He was crying…
“Tsukki..” Yamaguchi whispered, he walked over to where he was and wrapped his arms around Tsukki’s waist as he sobbed onto his shoulder…
“Why..? w-why can’t I get o-over him?”
(...)
Tadashi stood in front of the hotel he was staying at.
Hanabi Inn , Tadashi smiled bitterly at the inn, fond memories of the time he and Tsukki stayed here…
“Welcome to Hanabi Inn, do you have reservations with us?” an old lady at the front desk asked, peering over her black glasses.
The same old lady...
“Yes...under Tsukishima” Tadashi responded, pulling out his I.D, sliding it towards the woman.
She stared at the I.D for a long time.
She glanced back up, a soft smile on her face…
“Oh dear...could it possibly be the same Tsukishima’s from 8 years ago?” The women asked, giving Tadashi a toothy grin…
“Yes...we got married” Tadashi responded, smiling sheepishly at the women, who beamed at him.
“Ahaha! That’s absolutely wonderful! Ah! The many complaints we got that day” The woman sighed, dreamily.
“Hahah, yeah, I’m sorry about that” Tadashi apologized, his face turning a bright red…
“No no it’s alright dear, they were just jealous” she said, beaming at him, pausing for a moment before continuing.
“So, where is he?” The old lady asked, looking over his shoulder.
Tadashi looked down…
“He died four years ago” He responded, noticing the smile leaving the old lady.
“Oh...Oh dear, I’m so so so sorry Tsukishima-san, please forgive me” The old lady apologized, showing down apologetically.
Tadashi looked at her smiling kindly at the women, trying to hold his tears in.
“It’s okay..you don’t have to apologize...if anything..I should”
(...)
After calming Tsukki down, they made their way to their hotel, which they both split the cost between the two.
“Hello, Welcome to Hanabi inn, do you have reservations with us?” The old lady in front desk inquired, peering over her black glasses.
“Yes actually, under Tsukishima” Tsukki said, opening his wallet, sliding his I.D across the desk, over to the woman who took it from him inspecting it carefully.
“I see..” She murmured, handing it back, her gaze turned towards her computer, silent clicking sounds coming from her mouse.
“It seems that there were some mistakes made by a new employee of ours and instead of a room with two twin size beds, she booked you under a room with a single bed..” She looked over at the two of them pausing for a moment before continuing most likely looking for a reaction only to see two blank faces.
“And...we’re fully booked...I’m sorry for the inconvenience..” She said, bowing down apologetically.
“U-uh...I-it's alright..I-I’ll just sleep on the floor...you can take the bed Tsukki” Yamaguchi stammered, smiling nervously.
Tsukishima turned to him, narrowing his eyes.
“Excuse me what? No, I’ll take the floor” Tsukishima refused, shaking his head.
“W-what-?! N-No way Tsukki! I called dibs on the floor! Yamaguchi exclaimed, sprinting over to the stairs to find the room and beat Tsukki to it.
“Huh-? WAIT YAMAGUCHI THAT ISN’T FAIR! YOU’RE TAKING THE BED” Tsukki called out to Yamaguchi.
Yamaguchi looked over his shoulder noticing that Tsukki was sprinting towards him.
“Wait! you don’t-” The inn keeper called out, letting out an amused laugh, knowing that the pair didn’t even hear her…
“You don’t even know where your rooms’ at…”
(...)
“YAMAGUCHI GET BACK HERE!” Tsukishima called out to him as he chased him up and down the stairs causing a LOT of noise.
“No! I won’t ‘til you promise me that you’ll take the bed!” Yamaguchi yelled childishly, rushing up another flight of stairs.
“NEVER!” Tsukishima yelled back, in the same immature tone.
“THEN NEVER!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, laughing at their childlike behavior.
Yamaguchi smiled, he liked this…
The two of them, laughing and being immature…
“Ah Shi-” Tsukishima cursed, Yamaguchi turned his head noticing that Tsukishima tripped on his feet and now was sitting on the floor.
Yamaguchi giggled.
He walked over to him, offering his hand to his friend.
“Okay, how about we share the floor?” Yamaguchi negotiated, if Tsukki had to sleep on the floor then he would too!
“Fine, deal” Tsukishima accepted, grabbing his hand.
Tsukishima stood up, wiping the dirt off his jacket.
“Uhmm...where did the lady say the rooms’ at?” Yamaguchi asked, trying his best to remember..
He turned to Tsukki, expecting an answer…
“Shit”
(...)
With his backpack in hand, Tadashi looked for his room…
Room 421…
The same room..
Once he found the room, he inserted the key card in the slot, the light turning green and a quiet unlocking noise, unlocking the door.
The opened the door, a sad smile appeared on his face…
It was just like before...without him…
He chucked his bag on the bed and walked over to the window outside…
It was still snowing outside….
He checked his phone, noticing no one has messaged him…
December 21,
Christmas time was coming and after that New year… Tadashi thought, staring sadly at his lock screen..
Another New year without you.
...
“Merry Christmas Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, walking into their hotel room, a tray of food in his hands.
Free breakfast was the best…
“Merry Christmas” Tsukishima responded, rubbing his eyes, letting out a loud yawn.
“Here! I brought you breakfast!” Yamaguchi said, placing the tray on the table, laying down a pair of Chopsticks for Tsukki.
They’ve decided to share the bed, which, honestly to Yamaguchi was better than sleeping on the floor...however, embarrassing things were bound to happen.
Yamaguchi nuzzled his face closer to his pillow...a nice smelling pillow, it smelt like fresh strawberries and strawberry short..?
Yamaguchi shot up abruptly, his face turning the brightest shade of red.
Tsukishima’s arm was wrapped around Yamaguchi’s waist, pulling him close.
The blanket disgardered on the floor, pillows scattered on the floor.
“Uhmm..T-Tsukki?” Yamaguchi whispered trying to wake the male, however he didn’t budge.
“T-Tsukki?” Yamaguchi repeated...he didn’t move.
Yamaguchi groaned quietly, Tsukki was a heavy sleeper…
He sighed, despite wanting to stay in the position forever...he had to get their breakfast before the cafeteria for free breakfast ended…
He stood up, his face a bright bright red.
“Uh...How was your sleep?” Yamaguchi asked, taking a seat in front of Tsukki, who was currently eating his breakfast.
“It was alright, How about you?” Tsukki asked, looking up at Yamaguchi, noticing his bright red face.
“Um...well it was...good..comfortable, uh nice? Uhm” Yamaguchi murmured, his face still flushed from embarrassment.
“If it wasn’t comfortable for you, you don’t have to lie, you know.” Tsukishima started, taking a bite of his food.
“Just tell me the truth” he continued, glancing down at his phone scrolling through social media.
“It was comfortable! I was just trying to...trying to...uhm” Yamaguchi said, trying to look for an excuse, however failed miserably.
“Trying to…?” Tsukishima stared at the flustered male, trying to understand what in the world he was saying.
“N-nevermind” Yamaguchi sighed, rubbing the back of neck, irritatedly.
“Okay then” Tsukishima mumbled, standing up, heading into the washroom.
“H-Hey! Um Tsukki?” Yamaguchi called out, snapping out of his thoughts, calling out for the older male.
“Yeah?”
“Have you...made up with Kozume-san yet?” Yamaguchi asked, looking down playing with his fingers nervously.
“No...I haven’t” Tsukishima responded, turning on the tap, running water for a while, probably doing his morning routine.
“Uhm, you...you should probably make up...um.. We're leaving in two days” Yamaguchi said, checking his phone to confirm.
“fine...I’ll call Kuroo later and apologize to Kozume...I guess” Tsukishima responded, leaving the washroom wiping his face with a towel.
Yamaguchi nodded, happy at the idea the male had just proposed.
“Oh! And Umm! I got you a Christmas present, um let me grab it” Yamaguchi got on his feet, running towards his backpack, fishing for the blonde male’s gift.
Once he found it, he walked over to where Tsukishima sat on the bed, scrolling through his phone.
“H-here” Yamaguchi said nervously, handing the present to the male.
It was a small box wrapped in a dinosaur wrapping paper, Yamaguchi watched anxiously as Tsukishima observed the present quietly.
“uhm-...It's..it's not much, you probably don’t..er won’t need it and stuff, and uhm if you don’t like it I could...I could always buy you a new gift but uhm I saw it and I sorta was um thinking….oh nevermind” Yamaguchi sighed, mentally face palming at the fact he couldn’t even form a proper sentence that actually made sense.
Yamaguchi watched as Tsukishima opened the box, revealing a bracelet with a few charms.
“A bracelet?” Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi, who’s face started to turn a bright shade of red.
“Yeah, a bracelet…” He murmured, covering his face with his hands.
Peeking through his fingers he watched as Tsukishima observed the charms.
There were quite a few which included his initials, a dinosaur, a moon, a crow, a strawberry and lastly a sun charm.
“I-..I’m sorry, d-do you not like it? I can always buy you a new gift if you---”
“No..” Tsukki murmured, slipping the bracelet on.
“No?” Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima confused.
“I love it”
(...)
“Hey Tsukki, what are you doing for New years?” Yamaguchi asked, walking alongside Tsukishima heading back to his apartment.
“Nothing, probably study, why?” Tsukishima responded, turning a sharp right, pressing a button, waiting for the signal for pedestrians to cross the street.
“Well, you see, there's this new year festival tonight, they’ll have games, food and a firework show at 11:55 pm” Yamaguchi informed the male, following him as they both began to cross the street.
It’s been a few days since they’ve returned from their trip to Tokyo, exactly on their day of departure, Tsukishima and Kozume apologized to each other , which made both Yamaguchi and Kuroo proud.
Now, it was the 31th of December, or more specifically, New years eve.
Yamaguchi had something planned tonight during the firework show, he felt anxious.
But something in his mind was telling him that he had to do it today...not tomorrow, not the day after that...but today.
“And you’re telling me this, why?” Tsukishima asked, climbing up the stairs, touching the freezing railings.
“Well.. I.. I wanted you to watch the fireworks with me...we used to do it all the time and now, we...we don’t so I was thinking that...this year we would... change that,” Yamaguchi said following Tsukishima into his apartment, shutting the door behind him.
“So, please come with me, I don’t want to watch the fireworks alone,” Yamaguchi confessed, taking his shoes and jacket off.
Tsukki groaned.
“Fine, I’ll go, but I’m not going to wear a fundoshi” Tsukishima grumbled.
“Yay! Thank you Tsukki!”
(...)
Dressed in his green fundoshi, Yamaguchi waited somewhat nervously for the blonde male to arrive.
However, it was 11:45 and the blonde male was probably not going to show up.
He bit his lip, casting his gaze on the ground,
Please come Tsukki!
He sighed looking at his watch, 11:49…
He started to panic.
What if he doesn’t show up? What if he leaves him there?
What if…?
“I’m sorry I’m late...Nii-san forced me into a fundoshi” Tsukishima grumbled, walking up to Yamaguchi dressed in a dark blue fundoshi.
His eyes widened.
“Tsukki?!” Yamaguchi looked up, a smile made its way onto his lips…
“You! You made it!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, beaming at the taller male.
“You didn’t think I’d come?” Tsukishima asked, smirking at Yamaguchi’s smiling face.
“W-what?! N-no, I knew you’d come…” Yamaguchi murmured, puffing his cheeks out.
“Right..” Tsukishima mused, watching Yamaguchi’s flustered state.
“Uhm..anyways! The fireworks! They’re starting in like three minutes! We have to get to the spot immediately!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, pulling on Tsukishima’s arm.
Running through the crowds, dodging people and lightly shoving them out of their way.
They eventually made their way up to a slope, a small cliff, Yamaguchi found.
He smiled.
“Here, we’re here” Yamaguchi let out a sigh of relief, taking a seat, his feet dangling.
“You found this?” Tsukishima asked, impressed, taking a seat beside Yamaguchi.
“Yup! I was wandering around this morning looking for a place for use to sit and watch and this place is just perfect!” Yamaguchi exclaimed excitedly, turning his head, facing the blonde haired male.
“Yeah, good job” Tsukishima murmured, he looked up staring at the dark indigo sea of stars shining brightly in the night sky.
Yamaguchi checked his phone, 11:53.
Yamaguchi took a deep breath in, letting out a shaky breath.
He turned to face Tsukishima who stared at the night sky, observing the stars.
“Tsukishima?” Yamaguchi called out, clearing his throat nervously.
“Tsukishima..? Did..did I do something wrong?” Tsukishima asked, glancing at Yamaguchi who fidgeted nervously.
“Uhm, no uh” Yamaguchi glanced back at the festival under his feet watching crowds scurry to find a place to watch the fireworks.
“It’s just…” Yamaguchi looked back up to face Tsukishima who stared at him puzzled.
“I..” he groaned, his nerves getting the best of him.
He hated it.
His eyes glance back to his phone.
11:54…
“I-...I” Yamaguchi bit his lip, why can’t he say it? Why won’t it just come out, why was it so difficult to say?
“You..?” Tsukishima tilted his head in confusion, not really comprehending what the shorter male was saying.
He took a deep breath in.
“I love you!” he exclaimed, his voice however drowned out by the fireworks being set off in the distance.
“Wait...what did you say?” Tsukishima asked, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.
Yamaguchi’s heart dropped, he felt tears welling up in his eyes, his lips started to tremble, he could feel his body start to shake, his throat tightened, he began to rapidly blink, hoping it would help with preventing his tearing up.
“U-uhm..n-nothing...n-nothing i-important…” Yamaguchi whispered quietly, it was useless…
Tsukishima didn’t hear him.
“You’re such an idiot Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said suddenly, glancing at the male who was on the verge of tears.
“Ex-..excuse me?” Yamaguchi turned his head making sure he heard him correctly.
“I wanted you to repeat to make sure I heard you correctly,” Tsukishima paused, looking at him looking for a reaction from the male.
“you said…’I love you’ right?” He confirmed, Yamaguchi looked down at his feet, nodding his head slightly.
Tsukishima let out a small sigh.
“Look at me Yamaguchi” he demanded, noting that the male refused to look at him.
“Tadashi” at the mention of his first name, Yamaguchi turned his head quicker than Hinata and Kageyama’s freak duo combo.
His eyes widened when he realized how close Tsukishima was all of a sudden.
Their lips centimeters apart, Tsukishima’s eyelashes brushing against Yamaguchi’s flushed cheeks.
Tsukishima’s breath fanning his face, his eyes remained on Yamaguchi’s observing him, the smell of strawberries and strawberry shortcakes becoming stronger as seconds passed, Tsukishima’s glasses slipping from the bridge of his nose to the tip.
Yamaguchi took another deep breath in, intoxicated by the smell of the male in front of him.
Yamaguchi leaned in, closing the gap between them, melting against his lips, time seemingly stopped when their lips came in contact.
After what seems like an eternity, Yamaguchi pulled back, trying to regain his breath, he stared at Tsukishima.
For him, in the moment...it felt like he was dreaming, it felt like he was on cloud nine…
“Tsukki..?” Yamaguchi murmured, noticing that the male was still staring at him.
“Yeah?”
“I love you” Yamaguchi repeated, smiling shyly at the blonde.
Tsukishima smiled, “I love you too” He responded, pulling Yamaguchi in for a hug, who happily wrapped his arms around the male.
He then turned to look at Yamaguchi, looking at him seriously.
“Tadashi, I’m giving you my heart, please take care of it” He murmured, watching Yamaguchi’s delicate face as a small smile made way.
“I will, I promise” He murmured, turning to look at the fireworks, beaming at all the bright colours.
“Happy new years Tadashi” Tsukishima murmured, his attention also now fully on the fireworks, exploding in the sky.
“Happy new years Tsukki” Yamaguchi whispered back, leaning his head against Tsukishima’s arm, smiling happily with Tsukishima beside him.
Together watching… the new year fireworks.
(...)
It’s been two years since Yamaguchi and Tsukishima got together
However, a year later Tsukishima proposed to Yamaguchi who accepted it happily.
And now, they were happily married...living together in a house they bought together.
“I’m home” Kei announced, slipping off his shoes.
“Welcome home” Tadashi greeted beaming sleepily at his husband.
“How’s practice?” He asked, walking back tiredly into the living room, entering the kitchen, Kei following closely behind him.
“Ah, it’s alright, how about you? What have you been up to?” Kei asked, leaning against the marble counter, watching Tadashi stir whatever he was cooking in the pot.
“Well, I’ve been looking for some jobs, doing some cleaning and well cooking” Tadashi responded, humming ‘you are my sunshine’ weakly under his breath.
“Really? Sorry if I’m not helping out in the house” Kei apologized, walking up beside Tadashi who muttered a tired ‘it’s okay’.
“Need any help? Maybe you should lay down, you seem very tired nowadays" Kei offered, watching as Tadashi let out a tired yawn.
“You sure?” he asked, sleepily, turning to his husband.
“Yeah, go lay on the couch, I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.” Kei said, shooing his husband from the kitchen.
“Okay,” he sluggishly headed to the living room, laying down on the couch…. Instantly finding it hard to breath.
He narrowed his eyes, feeling an odd stinging sensation in his chest, he started coughing.
Wheezing really, covering his mouth with his arms, squeezing his eyes shut as his chest continued to sting.
He pulled his arm away noticing a mixture of pink foamy mucus and blood-tinged phlegm, he bit his lip.
What the heck? He quickly stood up and headed to the nearest washroom washing his arm and elbow, shivering as cold water came in contact with his skin.
“You okay?” Kei called out, causing Tadashi to freeze.
“Yup!” Tadashi called out nervously, drying his arms.
He quickly exited the washroom and went back to the living room, suddenly feeling dizzy.
He leaned against the doorway, trying to collect his breath.
Why was he dizzy all of a sudden? He groaned, feeling weaker and more lightheaded as seconds passed.
“H-hey..K-kei” Tadashi called out, feeling his eyes slowly start to close, he felt tired.
“Yeah..? T-tadashi-?! TADASHI!” Kei yelled as Tadashi’s world turned black, passing out.
When Tadashi awoke, he found himself laying on their bed, Kei sat on the bed passed out, fast asleep.
He shot up, heading to the washroom.
Once he finished, he washed his hands, heading back into their room.
“Tadashi...? Are you alright?” Kei asked, letting out a tired yawn.
“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about me” Tadashi said, making his way back to the bed, snuggling up against Kei’s side.
“I booked an appointment for you tomorrow at 1, I’m sorry I can’t come, I have a shift” Kei apologized, wrapping an arm around Tadashi's waist.
“It’s okay, but do I have to go? Appointments make me feel anxious” Tadashi confessed, intertwining their fingers, admiring his lovers calloused hands and the ring on his finger.
“You do, you’ve been fainting, you haven’t even been eating but you’re mysteriously gaining weight, you always go to the bathroom every what? 10-15 minutes? You always seem weak and get tired easily, your legs, ankles and feet seem to swell up all the time and you’re coughing all the time, so something’s not right darling, you need to get checked” Kei started, watching his lover’s face for a reaction, noticing the anxious and surprised look on his face.
You’ve really been watching, huh? Tadashi thought, biting his lip.
At least he doesn’t know about the blood and the disgusting foamy thing.
“For me, please?” Tadashi sighed, he looked up at Kei, noticing the pleading look on his face.
Tadashi sighed, “Alright, I’ll go,” he murmured, watching a smile make it’s way on Kei’s face.
“But right now, I just wanna cuddle, no more appointment talk, m’kay?” Tadashi said, cuddling against Kei’s chest, sighing contentedly.
“Alright no more appointment talk, just cuddling” Kei whispered, tightening his grip around Tadashi as if it was going to be the last time they’d be cuddling without the constant worry of death waiting at their front door.
(...)
He didn’t want this.
Tadashi never wanted this.
Yet here he was again, in a funeral home...mourning another loss.
This time, the two people lying in the coffin weren't people he was really close to yet…
It was painful.
Again, it was the agony of his fellow teammates that hurt him.
Their crying faces, their screaming for them to come back.
It was all too painful.
“KIYOKO?! Why-?! Why didn’t you tell me? You’re.. You’re supposed to tell me everything! Why? Why? WHY? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” Tanaka Ryunnosuke yelled, clutching the coffin of his late wife, Shoyo quietly hugging his father confused as to why he was screaming at his mother.
“Why? Kiyoko Why? P-please d-don’t go… d-don’t leave me and Shoyo, please, please, I’m sorry for being a terrible husband, I-..I’ll be better! I- p-promise!” Tanaka sobbed, he then turned to the other coffin.
“B-bro, w-wake up, p-please, c-come on! Come on! Not you too, please don’t leave me too” Tanaka cried, clutching the coffin of his best friend in one hand.
In one coffin, laid Tanaka Kiyoko who died of her illness which was... stage four breast cancer...she never told anyone…
Then in the other laid Nishinoya Yuu...who committed suicide after he heard the news of the girl he once loved was dead.
“K-kiyoko m-my love.....N-noya bro, hey come on you guys...t-this prank i-isn’t funny! Please! Get up! P-please! Y-you can’t leave me! G-guys, p-please...K-kiyoko, please I-I can’t r-raise Shoyo- a-alone! P-please...N-noya please! Bro! Guys! DON’T LEAVE ME” Tanaka screamed, collapsing on his knees.
“Papa...please don’t cry..mama...she’s just playing hide and seek...we have to find her….I have to find her...Mama..she told me” Shoyo said, wrapping his arms tightly around his father.
“S-shoyo” Tanaka’s voice cracked, pulling his son into a big hug, sobbing, unable to breath.
Tadashi watched, staring at the ground.
Four gone already, Tadashi bit his lip.
He remembered Kei’s funeral, it was slow, painful…
He felt tears welling up in his eyes, he felt his shoulder tense and his body began to shake, he clutched his heart, tears flowing freely.
His heart started to hurt..
“KEI! WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY? WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE LEFT ME TO DIE? WHY? WHY? WHY?”
Memories flooded his brain, that day...that dreadful day...was all his fault..
Questions he once asked came back, happy times haunting him.
Kei, why did you do it? Why? Why? It’s not fair...I’m sorry
I’m sorry…
I’m sorry…
Please forgive me..
I’m sor-
Then,Tadashi suddenly felt a hand, softly patting his back, he looked over his shoulder noticing it was Kageyama.
Baby Shoko holding on his opposite hand, curious as to why so many people including her best friend's father were crying.
“K-kageyama..?” Tadashi wasn’t that close to Kageyama in high school, but after losing Kei, they formed an odd friendship where they comforted each other, it was a strange yet nice relationship.
“Just cry it out” He said, facing straight ahead, staring at the coffins, eyes void of emotions.
“T-Thank you..” He murmured, unsure of what he was thanking him for…
Maybe it was the comfort Kageyama provided him or maybe it was the fact Kageyama has helped him through tough times despite going through difficult times as well.
“Thank you for h-helping me Kageyama...You’ve...you've really helped me” Tadashi murmured, taking a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.
Kageyama turned his head, facing Tadashi, he gave him a small smile surprising Tadashi.
“No problem”
(...)
Tadashi pulled up into the parking place, taking a deep breath in and out, butterflies in his stomach, oh how he hated this.
But...it...was for Kei, he thought, biting his lip.
He left his car, making sure he locked it, shoving his keys in his jacket pocket, feeling more and more nervous as seconds passed.
He knew something was really wrong, coughing up blood and mucus wasn’t normal.
He twisted the door knob open, shutting it behind him.
Tadashi walked up to the front desk, nervously playing with his fingers.
“Uh, hi, um I’m here for an appointment, a blood test and um..the other thing” Tadashi spoke up, clearing his throat nervously.
“Name?” The male asked, shuffling through his files, not even bothering to spare Tadashi a glance.
“Um, Tsukishima Tadashi” He responded, taking out his wallet, sliding his I.D over to the male.
He took it observing the card, glancing back at Tadashi to make sure he was the one on the card.
“Alright, please take a seat, The doctor will call you up when it’s time” he said, dismissing Tadashi, who nodded, walking over to a chair, taking a seat.
He took out his phone, pulling up google.
Is it weird to cough up pink foamy mucus? He typed, nervous for the response.
He shivered.
He didn’t like the responses.
Shutting off his phone, Tadashi tucked it back into his pocket.
Suddenly, his throat felt itchy, like he needed to cough.
Tadashi began to cough, grimacing at the pain in his throat.
He pulled his arm away noticing the same weird pink substance.
He made his way to the washroom, washing the liquid off, disgusted by it.
Once he returned to the waiting room, he took his seat, waiting for the doctor to make his appearance.
Five minutes later, The doctor made her appearance.
“Tsukishima-san? Hi, I’m Utaro Aiko, please follow me” She said, beckoning the male.
He nodded nervously, following the female, tripping over his feet as he followed her into the room to get checked.
(...)
It's been two months since Tadashi’s appointment and he hasn’t gotten his results back, he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
However, his condition worsened, the coughing became more frequent and he got tired quickly.
Tadashi let out a sigh, he shut his eyes.
“Hmmm..? That’s odd…” Utaro Aiko murmured, placing her stethoscope back on Tadashi’s chest, making sure she heard his heartbeat correctly.
“W-what's wrong?” Tadashi asked nervously, watching as Aiko scrunched her eyes, concentrating on his heartbeat.
She remained silent for a few minutes, she then pulled back her stethoscope and started typing away on her computer.
“It’s your heartbeat,” She said, turning to Tadashi.
“What about my heartbeat?” Tadashi’s hand started to sweat, he was nervous, was something wrong with his heartbeat?
“It’s irregular…”
He sighed, plopping on the bed.
Kei was at volleyball practice and Tadashi felt bad…
He still was unemployed and Kei worked part time in the museum and was a part time volleyball player for the sendai frogs.
He worked hard while Tadashi sat around in the house, cleaning and cooking.
Tadashi felt angry, angry with himself that he had increasingly become weak, angry that he felt useless.
Suddenly, there was a silent ping coming from his phone.
Thinking it was Kei, Tadashi eagerly picked up the phone, a smile on his face, rolling on his stomach.
However, his smile dropped as he realized it wasn’t from Kei.
It was an email from Utaro-san.
He sighed, reluctantly clicking on the notification.
Tsukishima-san,
We’ve received the results from the blood test, frankly the results were not pleasant.
We’re suspecting a heart disease and we would like for you to come back for an Chest X-ray as well as possibly CT scans and an MRI.
We would like you to book an appointment immediately in hopes to confirm our suspicions.
Utaro Aiko.
Tadashi felt his heart drop, he hated this.
Heart disease? He clenched his teeth, he despised this.
Then, his ringtone started playing, catching him off guard, he stared at the contact name, feeling his heart drop.
Kei <3
He gulped.
He slid his finger across the screen, accepting the call.
“Hey” Tadashi greeted nervously.
“Hey, I’m coming home in like what? 30 minutes? Can you make sure rice is cooked? I’m bringing home some food” Kei said.
“Alright” Tadashi murmured, still nervous, how was I going to tell Kei? Tadashi thought nervously, biting his lip.
“You alright darling? You sound down” Kei said quietly, causing Tadashi to tense up.
“I’m fine, just come home safe” Tadashi said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Alright...anyways, have you got your results back?” Kei asked, almost giving Tadashi a heart attack.
He could feel his palms turn sweaty, he grew anxious…
“Yeah” he responded, running a hand through his hair.
“And?”
Tadashi took a deep breath in, biting his lips, forcing a smile even though he knew Kei couldn’t see him.
“It’s fine! I’m alright! Just really stressed out and Utaro-san says I need to take it easy and not overexert myself” Tadashi lied, trying to sound optimistic.
“Really? Oh thank goodness, I was scared for a second, God Tadashi I swear, you’re going to be the death of me” Kei murmured letting out a sigh of relief.
“Yeah” Tadashi said, forcing a chuckle.
“Alright, well I’m gonna start driving, see you home, I love you” Kei said, bidding his husband a farewell.
“Alright, come home safe, I love you too” Tadashi said, ending the call, the smile dropping from his face instantly.
Tadashi sighed, reluctantly looking at the email in front of him.
He sighed, clicking a few buttons on his phone, he held it up to his ear, listening to the dialing.
Once he heard a faint hello, he took a deep breath in.
“Hello? It’s me, Tsukishima Tadashi and I’d like to book an appointment…”
(...)
It’s been at least a month since Tadashi has gotten his results.
Now, he was just coming home from another doctor appointment, probably his eighth one this month.
It’s been a month and he still hasn't told Kei.
He just didn’t want to concern Kei, especially after he found out what he had.
Advanced heart failure and Coronary artery disease.
They, being the doctors first managed to spot the diseases, looking in closer to his medical records, they were able to find out that it ran in his blood, his aunt had it, his grandma, it was something he inherited.
Meanwhile, during other tests they were able to spot Advanced heart failure, something Tadashi was slowly dying from…
He could be saved if they found a donor, however they aren’t able to find one...they still haven't found a donor, if he didn’t find one he’d have at least one to two-ish years left.
He climbed out of his car, locking the door with his keys, walking up to the front door opening it.
“I’m home,” Tadashi said, quietly, not expecting anyone home.
“Hello Tadashi” Kei greeted him, his arms crossed, glaring at Tadashi.
Tadashi flinched, not only did he didn’t like Kei’s tone of voice, he called him by his first name, not ‘darling’.
“Hey Kei, what’s up?” Tadashi greeted nervously, placing his bag down, walking up to the taller male.
“Care to explain what this email is?” Kei asked, grabbing Tadashi’s laptop from the dining table handing Tadashi his laptop.
Tadashi froze, feeling his heart drop as he stared at the email.
“What…? W-why are you looking through my things?” Tadashi asked, changing the subject.
“We’re married and your laptop was open, stop changing the subject” Kei said, crossing his arms once more.
“But still! It doesn’t give you the right to snoop through my things! If you were curious you could have just asked me!” Tadashi yelled frustratedly.
“Even if I asked, you wouldn’t have told me the truth” Kei accused, narrowing his eyes at his husband,
“After all you lied about being alright,” Kei murmured, “Plus all I know you could have been cheating” Kei said quietly, leaving Tadashi stunned.
“Excuse me what? Cheating? Do you not trust me?” Tadashi asked, glaring daggers at the older male.
“How can I? You lied! You LIED to me Tadashi! YOU told me you were alright! That was a month ago! And now I JUST found out my husband has been going to appointments behind my back, not telling me the truth about his condition!” Kei shouted, running his hand through his hair.
Tadashi bit his lip, he knew he was at fault here, he looked down, tears welling up in his eyes.
“I-. I’m sorry Kei, I-..I just didn't want you t-too worry about me, I didn’t want to stress you out more, God I’m sorry, I-I got mad at y-you, I’m at fault, I-I’m so so so sorry Tsukki” Tadashi stammered, tears freely flowing down, calling his husband by his old nickname.
Kei froze, he approached Tadashi, wrapping his arms around the trembling male.
“Don’t apologize Tadashi, I’m sorry I thought you were cheating, I feel terrible, I’m sorry” Kei murmured, pulling Tadashi closer.
“J-just tell me..this..” Kei took a deep breath in, “Tell me how much time you have left”
Tadashi froze, burying his face against Kei’s chest.
“A year, two at most if I don’t find a donor, but with how things are now...I..I don’t think. I’ll find one” Tadashi murmured, feeling Kei tense.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry...Tsukki” Tadashi murmured, hearing his heartbeat increase.
“D-don’t a-apologize..We’ll..We’ll get through it...to--together o-okay? Y-you’re not going to leave me, you’re going to stay with me okay? T-til we get old” Kei mumbled burying his face against Tadashi’s shoulder.
“I promise you, I’ll never...ever leave you” Tadashi murmured, wrapping his arms tighter around Kei.
And yet you left me.
(...)
A week has passed since Kei found out and Kei definitely has been taking Tadashi out to many dates, spending time with him.
But, not only did dates have increased….but doctor appointments as well.
Tadashi laid in bed, scrolling through his social media explore page.
“Oi, get ready, we’re going on another date, “ Kei said entering the room, taking a seat on the bed.
“Eh..? Right now?” Tadashi asked, looking up at his husband who nodded.
“Alright” Tadashi murmured, standing walking up to his closet, pulling off his shirt, tossing it inside the laundry basket shuffling through his side of the closet.
Tadashi turned his head, noticing Kei’s staring at him.
“What are you looking at?” Tadashi asked, smiling teasingly at Kei’s flushed face.
He watched as Kei stood up, walking over towards Tadashi, clearly aroused.
He wordlessly wrapped his arms around Tadashi’s waist, burying his face against Tadashi’s neck.
“Hello? Sir Kei, I need to get ready for our date” Tadashi said, squirming, trying to free himself from Kei’s grip.
“You know what? Screw the date let’s just stay home,” Kei growled, lust evident in his voice.
“Huh..? Wait what?!” But before Tadashi could protest further, Kei dragged him back to the bed.
And let's just say, Tadashi almost wasn’t able to walk the next day.
(. we were happy .)
Tadashi sighed, pulling up in the parking lot of his workplace, he stared at the building reminiscing the time when he first got the job…
Kei waited for him in the car, they celebrated after...it was a joyous moment for the both of them three years ago.
He still had 15 minutes before his shift started, rubbing his cheeks he stared at his reflection.
He didn’t look any better then four years ago, black bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep, deathly pale as if he wasn’t healthy.
It was like he was a shell of a person who he used to be, he didn’t look like the same handsome male he was back then.
He sighed leaning against the steering wheel, shutting his eyes, drowning himself in what used to be happy memories.
…..
“Tsukishima Tadashi.. Correct?” Sojeru, the CEO of the electronics company inquired, observing the male, who shifted nervously under his gaze.
“Yes sir” Tadashi responded, trying his best not to stutter, in the presence of hopefully the future boss.
“You’re very qualified for the job...however” Sojeru-san leaned forward, staring deeply into Tadashi’s eyes, observing him like a hawk watching his prey.
“Your medical records state that you have...ah, advanced heart failure..”Sojeru mentioned, causing Tadashi to internally groan.
“Yes sir, but I can promise you that I won’t let it affect my work quality and behavior” Tadashi said, trying to sound confident in himself.
“hmm...I see” Sojeru’s voice trailed off as if he was deep in thought, he glanced back at the papers.
“And, you’re still very young” he noted, returning his gaze to Tadashi who took a deep breath in and out.
“Sir, I’m 24 years old, turning 25 in November, I can assure you I can and will be able to help this company and I hope it’s future.” Tadashi said calmly, trying to sound as if he wasn’t dying inside from the cringe he was experiencing.
“I see..” He glanced back down at the paper for the a millionth time.
“Very well then, let's see what you can do Tsukishima-san welcome to the company” Sojeru said, offering his hand to the now excited male.
“W-wait really? Oh my.. Oh my gosh, thank you! I-...I promise I won’t disappoint you sir!” Tadashi exclaimed, bowling down gratefully,
The older male chuckled, “no problem, you start tomorrow, my secretary would email you your schedule and other things” Sojeru informed,
“T-thank you!” and with that Tadashi left the building approaching their car.
“So? Did you get in?” Kei asked, leaning against the car.
“Yes! I got in! I got the job!” Tadashi exclaimed, excitedly jumping on spot a big smile on his face.
“Really? I’m proud of you! Good job!” Kei cheered, wrapping his arms around his ecstatic husband.
Tadashi smiled, pressing his lips against Kei’s, shocking the taller male.
“Hmm...kissing me in public~?I thought you hated PDA in public?” Kei teased, his arms still wrapped around the shorter male.
“Well...today’s special, come on, I’ll treat you to some cakes,” Tadashi said, pulling Kei to the car, the bright smile never leaving his face.
(. we were happy, It almost like it was a love story .)
As their third year together married was nearing the end, it being early November,
Doctor appointments have been more frequent and so has dates.
Tadashi let out an exasperated sigh, he started working and it has been stressful, who knew working was a drag?
He stared at his computer screen blankly, leaning against his chair, stretching his arms out, letting out a lazy tired yawn.
His eyes glanced at the picture frame on his desk, he smiled.
It was a picture from high school when Tadashi was in his first year.
Big smiles painted the entire boy volleyball team, It was a picture from when the third years were graduating.
Ding! Tadashi glanced at his phone, tempted to reach out for it.
He groaned, oh screw it, Tadashi reached for his phone quickly checking the notification.
Kei 💓💓:darling, what time are you coming home?
Darling tadashi💓💓: i dunno maybe like in an hour or so? You home already?
Kei 💓💓:yea, I actually had something planned for us
Darling tadashi💓💓: oh nuuu 🥺🥺🥺, i'm sorry nanami-san gave me somethings to look over
Kei 💓💓:it’s ok tadashi, just finish work so you can come home quicker.
Darling tadashi💓💓:oh but i don't like it hereee it’s so boring, i wanna be home hanging out with u
Kei 💓💓; ikik, but like you have to work bby, also have you taken your medication?
Darling tadashi💓💓:yup, i took ‘em after lunch,
ah i'm tired, pick me up
like pls pick me up,
kidnap me and take me home romeo
Kei 💓💓: darling i cant do that,
Darling tadashi💓💓:do you want me to stay here and suffer???!!!🥺🥺🥺
Kei 💓💓:bby i never want you to suffer, but i also don’t want my juliet to lose his job
Darling tadashi💓💓: I hate you 😠😠😠
Kei 💓💓:I love you too 💓
Darling tadashi💓💓:😠
Kei 💓💓: 💓
Tadashi sighed, a smile on his lips, his eyes glanced towards the calendar, his smile growing.
November 9 he grinned, it was his birthday tomorrow! How could he have forgotten?
His sighed, his mood increased significantly.
“Oi! Tsukishima-san! Nanami-san’s looking at you!” Soumi, a co-worker of his whispered, jabbing Tadashi’s side, gesturing to their current supervisor, causing him to nod, putting down his phone and continuing to work.
(. we had our ups and downs but at the end of the day we had each other.)
“Have you been taking your medication?” Aiko-san asked, check board in hand.
“Yup” Tadashi responded, smiling at Aiko, obviously in a happy mood.
“How often does your chest hurt?” Aiko inquired, glancing up to the male noticing his smile faltered.
“Often” Tadashi murmured, glancing at the floor, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“How often do you still cough up mucus and blood?” Once more Tadashi flinched, biting his lip, he let out a sigh.
“Almost everyday,” Tadashi answered, running a hand through his hair.
“And lastly, how have you been eating?” the female questioned, looking up at Tadashi.
“Well, M-my husband has been taking care of the cooking and um, we’ve been eating healthy, less fat and junk food, n-not like Kei could eat much junk food anyways, him being an athlete and all” Tadashi responded, haft rambling and boasting.
“I see” She murmured, turning around, facing her computer screen, rapidly typing things.
“Alright, well, We’re going to have you do another CT and MRI scan, I’ll email you the details” Aiko informed, quickly finishing whatever she was writing.
“Alright, Thank you,” Tadashi said, collecting his overcoat from the jacket rack, making his way to the exit.
“Oh and Tsukishima-san” Aiko called out, stopping the young male from leaving the room.
He turned his head, watching as the female crossed her legs, folding her glasses.
“Have a happy birthday” Aiko said, giving the male a small kind smile.
“Thank you!”
…
“Where are you taking me?” Tadashi asked, letting out a small laugh as Kei dragged him through somewhere, his eyes covered by a blindfold.
“Somewhere, don’t worry” Kei reassured, guiding him.
“Somewhere? Ohhh~! A love hotel?” Tadashi asked, wiggling his eyebrow, Kei’s face quickly burning up.
“What-?! No….I didn’t know you were into those stuff” Kei said, mumbling the last part.
“Well~, I mean, Soumi-chan told me all about them since she used to work there” Tadashi informed, out of breath.
“Soumi-chan? You’ve been getting kind of close to her lately” Kei mumbled, stopping from their walk, allowing Tadashi to regain his breath.
“Oh? You jealous Kei?” Tadashi teased, taking in another breath.
“Maybe” he grumbled, kicking a stone from the ground.
“Aw, Don’t be Kei, Soumi-chan has a girlfriend, she just asks me for advice and stuff” Tadashi giggled, causing Kei to become more embarrassed.
“You...you should have told me, god I’m embarrassed” Kei murmured, taking Tadashi’s hand once more, continuing on their walk.
“Hehe, don’t be, I’ll never leave you” Tadashi smiled, intertwining their fingers.
“I’ll never leave you too”.
.
“We’re here, take it off,” Kei said, stopping for the one millionth time.
“R-right” Tadashi murmured, regaining his breath, pulling off the blindfold.
Once he took it off, his eyes widened, a smile formed on his lips, his heart fluttered.
There was a field, a small blanket laid on the grass, a cooler on top of it, fairy lights hung around the nearest tree providing light in the dark, fireflies danced around the night sky providing another source of light.
“Do you like it?” Kei asked, watching Tadashi’s star struck face.
“I..I love it!” Tadashi exclaimed, turning towards Kei, wrapping his arms around his neck, a big smile on his face.
“Was it worth all the walking?” Kei questioned, still watching as Tadashi observed their surroundings.
“Yup!” Tadashi exclaimed, unwrapping his arms and quickly ran, more like speed walked towards the blanket, taking a seat, still bewildered by the space around him.
Kei walked over towards Tadashi, smiling at him.
“T-thank you….thank you so much,” Tadashi murmured, turning towards Kei with a big smile on his lips.
“This...this is the best birthday present, date, ever” Tadashi said, a big smile on his lips.
“Thank you.”
( you were my Romeo and I was your Juliet, and the world, it was like Romeo and Juliet’s father, but instead of us dying together, only one of us dies.)
“Darling, what are you doing for New years?” Tadashi’s mother asked him watching as his son stared at the tv blankly, eating a bag of chips.
“...I’m staying home...why?” Tadashi murmured, tossing another chip in his mouth.
He currently stayed at his mother’s house since after Kei’s death, he wasn’t able to get back to their house without crying. Of course the house was still in good condition since he hired a caretaker to take care of the house, but he can’t go there without crying.
“You’re not going to the festival?” His mother questioned, tilting her head sadly.
“...why would I? I haven’t been able to go for the past four years” Tadashi said, rolling the bag up, walking up towards the pantry and placing it back.
“But, it’s just that you and Kei used-”
“Used to, we used to,” Tadashi murmured, interrupting his mother, looking at her blankly.
His mother bursted into tears, wrapping her arms around her son.
“I-I’m sorry Tadashi, I just want the best for you, I just want you to be happy, I just...I-” His mother sobbed, burying his face against his chest.
“You...you were never the same...after he died” She murmured, sniffling.
“H-how can I be okaa-san? I-I was the reason he died! H-he...H-he shouldn’t have died...i-it was all my fault...on...on our anniversary too..” Tadashi sobbed, wrapping his arms around his mother.
“It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s sweetheart, but...don't...don’t you think that...you should go..? At least...just for this year…?” HIs mother suggested.
Tadashi squeezed his eyes shut, tears pouring down his face, his heart hurting.
“Alright...just this year…”
(. But, at least we got together, at least we got married, at least our story didn’t end like Kageyama and Hinata’s…...but still)
“What are we gonna do for tonight?” Tadashi asked, joining Kei on the couch ignoring the burning feeling in his chest and the cough itching at the back of his throat.
“Going to the cliff thingy, where else?” Kei asked, pulling Tadashi to his chest, Tadashi, cuddling his head against his chest.
“Hmm, I dunno, Not like I wanna go anywhere else,” Tadashi murmured, cuddling against the blond haired male, it was so comfortable despite the chest pain he was experiencing, he felt extremely nauseous and lightheaded, he almost felt like he could pass out, his heartbeat felt odd and he really wanted to cough, he felt so, so bad.
“Okay then, got your fundoshi ready?” Kei asked, switching the channel, bored out of his mind.
“Yup! I got yours ready too!” Tadashi exclaimed, shooting up abruptly, instantly regretting it as his chest felt like it was on fire.
“Alright, well let’s get ready, it takes like 30 minutes to get there,” Kei said, sighing as he got from his seat making their way into their room.
“M’kay!”
……
“Need any help?” Kei asked, watching as his husband struggled to keep up with Kei, breathing heavily.
“No..no I’m fine” Tadashi responded swatting his hand, regaining his breath.
“You sure? I can carry you..” Kei suggested, worriedly as Tadashi wobbled to and fro.
“No, no, I’m fine, D-don’t worry about me, L-Lets just go” Tadashi said, firmly grabbing on to Kei's sleeve, leaning against the male for support.
“Okay…”Kei murmured hesitantly, wrapping his arm around Tadashi to help him.
They made their way up to the slope, letting Tadashi take a seat following right after him.
“W-what time is it now?” Tadashi asked, feeling more and more lightheaded as seconds passed.
“Uhm, 11:54, one minute left” Kei said, checking his phone, tucking it back into his pocket, turning back to face Tadashi.
“You sure you’re okay? Do you want to go home?” Kei questioned, worry evident in his voice.
“Yes..Yes, I’m alright” Tadashi murmured, his voice slurring themselves.
Black fuzzy spots filled his vision, his head feeling more and more dizzy, his heart beating abnormally hard as if it was going to explode, the pain in his chest strengthened.
He narrowed his eyes, trying to focus his gaze, as fireworks started exploding in the sky but failed to do so as more and more black spots appeared.
“Happy new years and anniversary Tadashi..” Kei said quietly, turning to face his husband, noticing he was struggling to keep himself awake.
“H-ha..Ha-...H-happy, n-new years and...a-aniversa--ry” Tadashi mumbled as things slowly grew more and more black until that's all he could see.
( I loved you)
Tadashi sighed, staring at the house in front of him, the name plate “Tsukishima” hung on the gate.
He entered the house, trying his best to hold his tears in, biting his lips, preventing him from whimpering.
Memories flood through his mind, Tadashi almost felt like he was suffocating, it was hard to be here..
It really was.
But…
His eyes glanced towards a picture frame, he and Kei took, they both smiled happily at the camera, fingers intertwined.
Tadashi took a deep breath in, heart beating rapidly.
He made his way up to their room, taking a shaky breath in.
He shakingly reached for the doorknob, twisting it hesitantly, pushing it softly.
He stared at the empty room, missing the dimly lit room, with Kei sitting on the bed a book or phone in hand.
“K-Kei..” He let out a shaky breath entering the room, everything was how he left it, he forbidden the caretaker from touching their room.
Dust layered on the bed and the tables and closet, Tadashi’s heart continued to hurt.
He opened the closet door, a gust of dust rushed out, causing him to wheeze, fanning the air, irritatedly.
Tadashi then observed the closet, noticing a small box tucked away under Tadashi’s clothes.
He grabbed the box, leaving the dusty room, making his way to the dining room, taking a seat on the chair.
His heart hammered against his chest as he opened the box.
In the box were things Kei had with him before he died, things like his glasses, his wallet, his phone, his fundoshi and...a letter?
He took the letter, placing the box aside, observing the object.
Tadashi was messily written on the envelope, Tadashi’s heart raced as he stared at the letter.
Ding~! Tadashi took his phone out, noticing it was his mother who texted him.
Mom: Are you at the festival?
Tadashi’s eyes widened, he checked the time 11;25!
He quickly ran out of the house locking it behind him, quickly rushing to his car, the letter in his hand.
Making his way to the festival.
( but you left me )
Tadashi shot up from his spot, nervously looking around panicked.
Where am I?
Kei..?
Where did you go?
Tadashi took a closer look at the room, noticing a heart monitor connected to him as well as an I.V drip.
Oh, I’m in the hospital..I probably fainted… Tadashi calmed down, relaxing his nerves.
He looked out the window, noticing that it was the afternoon, a smile growing on his face.
Ah! I feel so much better! Since it’s the afternoon, Kei should be here soon! Or text me soon…
Tadashi felt good today, he didn’t know what it was but he definitely felt so much better.
He looked around boredly, looking around for his phone, unable to find it.
“A-ah...I’m hungry,” He mumbled, rubbing his stomach, blushing as a quiet gurgling sound came from his stomach.
“And thirsty,” He muttered, licking his dry lips, Maybe...I should call the nurse? I’m famished.
He stood up from his bed, walking to a nearby cabinet, finding his phone.
Tadashi’s smile brightened, he quickly unlocked the phone, ignoring the date on it.
He quickly made his way to his messages, somewhat frowning at the fact Kei hasn’t messaged him.
Darling tadashi💓💓: Good afternoon love!
How are you?
Are you working rn?
Bby???
Tadashi pouted childishly, noticing as Kei didn’t even open up his messages! Or read them!
Darling tadashi💓💓: helloooo love???
bby ?
Sir kEiiiIII??
Are you ignoring me? 🥺🥺🥺
Do you not love me anymore 😳😳😳💔💔💔😢😢😭
Mr I love dinosaurs more than cake..?
Dadd---
You know what nope, i'm not calling you that ‘till you text me back!
Okayyyy fineee, i’ll text you later m’kay? Visit me later will ya bby?
Bye, stay safe <3
Tadashi let out an exasperated sigh, reluctantly walking back up to his bed, putting his phone under his pillow.
He looked at his side noticing a button, ‘call nurse’ written under it.
Should I push it..? Tadashi wondered, puffing his cheeks out, childishly.
Maybe I should... Tadashi’s finger inched towards the button, greatly tempted.
Suddenly, the door slid open, causing Tadashi to jump back, hitting his back against the frame.
“Oh-! Tsukishima-san..you’re awake” Aiko greeted, noticing the freckled male, rubbing his back sheepishly.
“A-ah! Aiko-san! You scared me” Tadashi laughed awkwardly, crossing his legs, beaming at the female.
“I apologize for that...Tsukishima-san” Aiko muttered, checking his vital writing them down…
“Are you hungry?” Aiko asked, hearing a soft rumbling noise from the male’s stomach.
“A-ah, yeah, and thirsty too, haha” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, chuckling awkwardly once more.
“Alright, after you eat...we can talk about something important” Aiko said, leaving the room, sliding the door closed behind her.
Important? Something about my condition? I hope it’s nothing bad... Tadashi groaned, collapsing on his bed, letting out a loud yawn, stretching his arms over his head, pulling the covers over his face, snuggling against the warm bed.
Then, the door opened once more, Aiko entered the room with a tray in her hand.
“Here you go,” Aiko said, handing the tray to Tadashi, who shot up from his bed.
The tray contained things like fruit slices, yogurt, a glass of milk and some bread.
“Thank you for the food!” Tadashi exclaimed, wolfing down the ‘meal’ as if he hasn’t eaten for four days.
Once he finished, he chugged down the milk letting out a satisfied sigh placing the tray on the table beside him.
He stretched, feeling much more happier.
Now, I just need to see Kei today and my day’s complete! He thought, leaning against the bed frame pulling the covers up to his shoulders.
Tadashi faced his head towards Aiko, noticing as she shifted nervously in her seat.
She’s never this nervous when she’s telling me about my condition..? Did it get worse? He panicked.
No, I feel so much better today, I haven’t even coughed...my chest doesn’t hurt… Tadashi sighed, calming his nerves.
“Oh! By the way, has Kei stopped by? He hasn’t been responding to my texts” Tadashi asked,flopping down on his bed, covering his eyes with his palm.
“After I fainted on our anniversary...I think he’s mad at me…” Tadashi muttered, rolling over to his side to face his doctor.
“About that, what day do you think it is Tsukishima-san?”Aiko asked, watching as Tadashi sat up, tilting his head confused.
“What do you mean..? Um, maybe, around 1-2 January?” Tadashi asked, suddenly growing very anxious as Aiko continued to shift uncomfortably.
“It’s the fifth of January Tsukishima-san,” She said calmly, noticing Tadashi’s worried expression, the smile switching to a frown.
“And, when you fainted...it wasn’t like your past ones” She explained slowly watching as panic arose from the male.
“A-aiko-san...w-what are you saying?” Tadashi stammered nervously, watching as the women took a deep breath in, letting out a shaky breath.
“It was so bad….you had to get surgery...a heart transplant” Aiko said continuing to observe the male.
“A heart transplant?...You found me a donor?” Tadashi asked cautiously, watching as the female slowly nodded.
“Well...at the last minute...we, we proceeded with our..backup plan,” Aiko informed, Tadashi froze, not liking at all what he was thinking.
I-if it’s the fifth..t-that means four days has passed...and Kei hasn’t texted me…
“No...no no no Aiko-san no, I-I don’t like what you’re implying..” Tadashi said, taking deep breaths in and out , trying his hardest to calm his nerves.
“Tsukishima-san, your husband-”
“NO! No! He’s at work! He’s been busy! T-that’s why he isn’t responding! He-...HE didn’t..no!” Tadashi said, shaking his head, not wanting to believe anything, his heart was hammering against his chest, tears threatening to pour out.
“Tsukishima-san...he gave you..his heart, he wanted--”
“No!” Tadashi shouted, interrupting Aiko.
“He-...He didn’t! He’s safe Aiko-san! He’s safe at home, happy and safe and he’s waiting for me!” Tadashi yelled, tossing the blanket aside, jumping out of bed, running to the door.
He could feel his, no, Kei’s heart loudly thumping against his chest, his throat tightened and his stomach churned, no..
No…
Kei y-you promised.. No… please..
“Tsukishima-san! You’re still healing, be careful!” AIko exclaimed trying to pull back the male, who struggled to free himself as a bunch of other nurses came to restrain him.
“NO! L-LET GO! I-I NEED TO SEE HIM! LET ME SEE HIM! I-I NEED TO GO HOME! I NEED TO GO TO KEI!” Tadashi yelled, not caring if he was hurting the nurses trying to keep him.
“PLEASE LET ME GO! I NEED TO GO!” Tadashi sobbed, collapsing on his knees with tears pouring down his face.
Please… Kei… He shot up from where he was, shakingly walking over to his bed, grabbing his phone from under his pillow dialling Kei.
Please pick up…
Please…
Please….
Kei,
Please…
Please don’t leave me, you promised!.
What happened to I’ll never leave you too? Why? Why? WHY?
“The person you’re trying to reach cannot be reached at the moment please try again”
His eyes widened, once more, he tried to run, however once more was held back by the nurses.
“PLEASE! I NEED TO SEE HIM! PLEASE! H-HE CAN’T BE D-DEAD! NO! P-PLEASE! PLEASE” he shouted, his vision blurring with tears, his throat started to hurt as he screamed, his chest had an unbearable pain worse than what he experienced before, his mind and thoughts were jumbled, his body felt like it was on fire.
“Tsukishima-san! Please calm down!” Aiko begged, watching as the male tried to fight his way.
“P-PLEASE, p-please I-I want to see him...p-please...let me go home...I-...I want to go home”Tadashi hiccuped, shaking off hands that tried to pull him back, he collapsed on the floor for the millionth time, his forehead pressed against the tile floor, his vision blurred, choking on his tears.
“KEI!” he screamed loudly, ignoring the burning feeling in his body, the heart that belonged to his lover hammering against his chest, screaming loud until the whole hospital can hear the agonizing screaming in hopes that it would wake him up, that in hopes that he’d come running towards him, in hopes that everything would be okay, in hopes that he didn’t leave him.
(...)
Tadashi stood in front of the coffin, his heart crumbling as he stood in front of it.
Everyone around him was crying, his parents, his brother, his friends.
Like before his mind was jumbled, he placed a shaky hand on top of the glass barrier separating him from Kei.
It was the 8th of January, seven whole days after Kei’s death.
When he found out, Tadashi wasn’t able to sleep at night knowing..it was his fault.
“K-kei” he let out a shake breath, his heart continuing to break.
“Why..? Why did you do it? Why couldn’t you...you have just let me die..? Why Kei? Why?” Tadashi questioned quietly, tears softly hitting the glass, streaming down the sides.
“You-..You promised me that day, remember? When we first got together? You said you’ll...you’ll never leave me...why? Why did you lie? Why didn’t you tell me? Why?” He whispered, curling his hand to a fist, pressing his forehead against the glass, shutting his eyes.
“I’ll never leave you too”
“LIAR!” He yelled suddenly, pulling back glaring daggers at the coffin.
“YOU PROMISED! YOU SAID! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! YOU NEVER TOLD ME GOODBYE! WHY?” Tadashi shouted, pulling his hair in frustration.
“KEI! WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY? WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE LEFT ME TO DIE? WHY? WHY? WHY?” He yelled, feeling arms pulling him back.
“Tadashi, calm down please Kei wouldn’t want this” Akiteru, Kei’s older brother murmured, trying to pull away the male.
“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS! HE’S DEAD! HE LEFT ME! He.. PROMISED….He promised...he promised me…”Tadashi yelled, his heart, rather Kei’s felt like it was going to explode from the pain, as if a hand was squeezing, he felt like he was being suffocated by his tears and punched in the gut multiple times.
His knees buckled against his weight collapsing on the floor, crawling towards the coffin, clutching the edge.
“Please...please...d-don’t go.. I need you...I-...I...need you, I love you...please...d-don’t leave me… I’m-..I’m sorry for yelling, I’m sorry for spilling hot chocolate on your carpet that day, I-i’m sorry I held you back...I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry for taking your heart.” Tadashi murmured.
Maybe...if Kei didn’t save him that day, maybe he would still be alive.
Maybe if he didn’t comfort Kei when Hinata died.
Maybe he should have never fallen in love…
Maybe...if he never met him…
Maybe he’ll be alive...that’ll be better...
“ Tadashi, when I met you you were a small child being bullied by a bunch of kids,” Tadashi gasped as Kei exposed him, his face turning a bright red, he turned his eyes slightly to see his mother staring at him with wide eyes.
“But here you are, in front of me as a full grown man, as my husband to be in a few minutes, thank you so so much for being by my side when I needed you, for being patient when I lost my cool, for still being here by my side” Kei said, his gaze never leaving Tadashi’s face.
“I’m so glad I met you”...
As the memory of his wedding resurfaced in his mind, Tadashi let out a pained whimper but sounded a bit like a whine.
What am I thinking? Tadashi let out a shaky breath, with all his strength he stood up, staring at the love of his life, stroking the glass.
“I’m glad..I-I..met you too”
(...)
Tadashi ran up the slope, breathing heavily as he made it to the top.
It’s been years since he’s last been here.
He hesitantly walked up to the spot, taking a seat on the edge, observing his surroundings.
It was very much the same, buildings below the slope, people in their kimonos and fundoshi, food stands, e.t.c.
The only difference...is that Kei wasn’t here.
He sighed, his heart beating against his chest.
For so long, Tadashi has tried to avoid going to the new year festival, knowing that it’ll hurt him more.
11:45, Tadashi sighed, putting down his phone.
He pulled out the letter out of his jacket pocket staring at it hesitantly.
It’s time to face your fears Tadashi, don’t be a coward he thought, biting his lip.
He shakingly began to open the letter, taking a deep breath in, pulling out the thin paper.
Tadashi opened it, observing the letter.
The writing was messy, it obviously was rushed, the writing was smudge, but nevertheless, it was Kei’s writing.
Dear Tadashi,
Firstly, I hope you’re doing well, as shitty as that sounds, I hope that, while you’re reading this, the transplant was successful, I hope that you aren’t blaming yourself, because let's be honest we both know you’d do that.
This was never a in the moment type of thing, I’ve actually planned about just in case, I got checked and I made sure that I was able to donate, for you.
Also, you’re probably reading this years later and if not, well, that’s embarrassing.
I just hope you're taking care of yourself.
I’m sorry if this was rushed, I’m sorry if my writing is complete shit, I'm sorry if this is short.
I just want you know, I love you and I will always love you no matter what, I love your freckles, your acne, all your imperfections.
No matter what, even if we're worlds apart, I’ll always be thinking about you.
Darling, please don't blame yourself, If you died and I didn't donate, If I knew I could have prevented it in someway and didn't help you, I will never be able to live with myself, I just hope you’ll live your life, get married, grow old and possibly find someone else to love.
You are the stars that guided me through the dark and I’m so grateful for your love and support, thank you for everything, I’m sure it’s crappy of me to not say a proper goodbye but, I’ll always love you and I’m sorry.
Again, I’m sorry I’m leaving you this way, especially on our anniversary.
I’m sorry for everything, for the pain I’ve caused you before, now and possibly in the future.
I know I promised that I'd never leave you, that'll stay here on Earth with you forever, that'll we'll grow old together, I know I promised you so many things, I'm sorry, I really am sorry that I won't be able to fulfil the promises, that I won't be able to stay by your side.
But darling, like I’ve said before, I love you no matter how far apart we are, I'm sorry and please, please take care of yourself, stay healthy and grow old for me.
Because...
Tadashi, I gave you my heart, so please take care of it.
Kei.
Tears streamed down his face, softly hitting the page, his lips quivering, his shoulder shaking,
“I-I will… I-I promise..” He muttered in response, alone under the sea of stars.
Then, boom,
Bright colours exploded in the sky, signifying it was, now in fact new years.
"Happy New years and anniversary...Tadashi” Tadashi turned his head facing his right, eyes widened as he saw what seemed to be a faint figure of his old lover, staring at the fireworks and a small smile on his lips, slowly disappearing into darkness, turning his head towards Tadashi, smiling at him for the last time before completely disappearing.
Tadashi smiled, taking deep breaths in and out, drying his tears, the letter still in his hands, experiencing this odd feeling of comfort.
He tilted his head as if he was laying his head on a shoulder, feeling as if all the weight he collected throughout the years on shoulders had been lifted.
“Happy new years and anniversary, Kei” He murmured, smiling happily as he looked up towards the bright sky with exploding colors, memories of when Kei sat beside him.
Smiling, as he sat alone, watching the new year fireworks.
BeccaCiatto Sat 24 Apr 2021 01:28AM UTC
Comment Actions
semiemployedhuman101 Sun 25 Apr 2021 09:57PM UTC
Comment Actions
jerseyth3kid Mon 26 Apr 2021 08:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
semiemployedhuman101 Mon 26 Apr 2021 02:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
Izzy (Guest) Fri 07 May 2021 04:18PM UTC
Comment Actions
semiemployedhuman101 Fri 07 May 2021 10:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
Oceana_Star Sun 09 May 2021 09:13AM UTC
Last Edited Sun 09 May 2021 09:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
semiemployedhuman101 Sun 09 May 2021 11:23PM UTC
Comment Actions