Chapter Text
At first, I feel cold, like I’m in a Europan snowstorm. I try using some Solar Light, but that makes me feel worse. So I sit there freezing, wondering where the hell I am. Everything is so bright and bathed in a white light. Then it comes back to me. I’ve been here before. After Crow killed me when the Cryptolith tried to corrupt me. I pull myself off the ground and explore, seeing if I can find a way out. A way back to Crow.
“My little void walker is all grown up.” I stop dead in my tracks when I hear that voice. It might have been years since I heard it, but I recognized it instantly. I turn on my heels and come face to face with Cayde. I can’t seem to form a sentence as I stare at the man I once loved. The man I tore apart the Reef to avenge.
“Still speechless, I see.” he chuckles, and I feel my eyes water as I run, crashing into his chest. His arms wrap around me in an all too familiar hug. “It’s alright, Ruby. Everything will be fine.” I sniffle into his chest as my reply before he pulls me away. “You did awesome against that Witch. I’m so proud of you.” I look up at him as he wipes the tears from my eye. “But Ruby, you need to let me go. You can’t keep holding on. You have Crow now, and your little ones, which I have to say are beautiful.”
“You’ve seen them?”
“Of course I have! I hear you when you talk to me. Did you think I wasn’t listening?”
“I-”
“I’m always watching over you,” I smile as he cups my cheek.
“But, like I said. Ruby, you need to move on.”
“But-” “You can still love me, as I will always love you. But I’m gone, and I ain’t coming back. Crow is there, living and breathing and loves you just as much as I do. I told you to forgive him; now forgive yourself for not being there. Because I’ve told you before, you’re not to blame, darling. You’ve killed everyone that was. Now you’re free to live your life. Live it for the both of us.”
“You’ll be with me, though?” His face plates shift into a warm smile.
“I’ll always be with you, Ruby. Right here.” He places his hand on my heart.
“Now it’s time to wake up. Crow is worried sick about you.”
“I love you, Cayde. I always will.”
“I love you too, Ruby. You were my life. Now go be Crow’s.” I give him one last hug as he begins to fade away. I gasp as I wake up, my throat raw and sore as I try to take in my surroundings. It takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust, but I notice I’m at home and in my bed. I take a few more steadying breaths, groaning quietly from the pain while I try to find Stell. Her usual spot on my night table, where I put a pillow down for her, is empty. I then hear voices downstairs. I climb out of bed feeling stiff and sore, but I manage to grab my robe and pause at the door when the voices get louder.
“She needs rest, Ikora. I’ve never seen her so pale before. I didn’t think Stell could bring her back.” It was Crow, and he sounded so distraught.
“I understand. But she was the one who put the bullet in Savathun’s head. I need to know exactly what happened.”
“Stell told you everything.” There was a pause.
“What else, Ikora? What are you not telling me?”
“Mara is requesting Ruby for a mission, and it’s time-sensitive.” I hear something break, followed by crying, and I whip the bedroom door open worried about what I’m walking into. All eyes were on me as I stared at Crow’s bleeding hand. I take a step forward to join him and Ikora in the living room, but my legs give way. I close my eyes and wait for the pain of falling down the stairs, but instead, I feel a set of arms catch me.
“What are you doing out of bed?” Crow chides me.
“If I told you I was fine would you believe me?” I chuckle lightly, but Crow raises an eyebrow in reply. “Alright. I heard yelling and wanted to see what was going on.” Crow chuckles lightly, shaking his head but offers a warm smile as he carries me to the couch. As he lays me down, Stell comes flying over and lands on my chest.
“I was wondering where you were hiding,” I say as Stell cuddles into my chest. “I was only down here for a bit. Other than that, I haven’t left your side.” She was getting defensive. “Stell, I’m not upset. I was just wondering, that’s all.” I registered what she said; she hadn’t left my side. “How long was I out?”
“Four days,” Crow confirms, and I look back at him as he places down a glass of water and some soup for me. I hiss from the pain in my chest. Crow frowns at my pain and then goes to the kitchen and returns with a small table for my lap. The whole time this is going on, I see Ikora pacing back and forth as Ari and Rory watch her. Crow noticed my attention had gone to her, and his brow furrowed.
“Eat first. Then we can all talk.” I grumble but follow his instructions and eat. It’s slow at first since my arms feel like jelly. I try acting like I’m not in pain so Crow can relax, but his brow never unfurrows, so I know it’s not working. I finish my bowl of soup and a few glasses of water and slowly feel my energy return. Crow takes my dishes and whispers something to Ikora before he takes everything back to the kitchen.
“So, Ikora. What is it that you need in such a hurry?” I ask, sitting back up. She comes to sit across from me and takes a deep breath before speaking.
“Ruby, you’ve no doubt heard the stories... where evil is vanquished, and the sky opens, shining peace down on humanity?” I nod, letting her know to continue. “Savathûn is dead. And yet again, I’ve seen no such signs. Instead, Immaru lives, plotting his return with the Scorn and the Hive struggle for supremacy over the Throne World. And somewhere among the stars, this “Witness” toys with us, preparing to finish what it started long ago. I keep reminding myself that somehow, we evaded extinction once before. I have to believe we can do it again.”
“We can. I’ll do everything in my power to help. Ikora offers an assuring smile before continuing.
“Even Mara Sov, Queen of the Awoken, believes that... which is why she’s requesting you.” My smile disappears, and when I look at Crow, I see he is also displeased.
“Ikora, normally I would agree-” She holds her hand up to stop me.
“Reluctant as I may be to pair you with one so unpredictable and with someone you have a history with, we need the support now more than ever. So go, aid the Queen. She may prove to be our most valuable ally yet in the war to come.” I look between Ikora and Crow, from someone who looks exhausted from this fight to someone who is worried for me. I will let one of them down with my answer, but I know what needs to be done.
“I need another day or two of rest, and then I will meet up with Mara.” I see the disappointment on Crow’s face, but Ikora smiles.
“Of course. Rest. From what I heard, you might have overdone it with your use of Light. You’ll feel like crap the next few days.”
“Thanks for the heads up,” I grumble, lying back down.
“I’ll let you rest. When you are ready to meet with Mara, let me know.” I give a thumbs up to Ikora as I get a headache. I hear her get up and say something to Crow before the front door closes. I sigh, happy to be left alone with my family. I hear footsteps approach; then, my legs are lifted and placed on someone’s lap. I open one and see Crow sitting beside me but not meeting my gaze. I know he has something to say but doesn’t want to start a fight.
“I know you’re upset,” I say, pulling myself back into a sitting position.
“I’m not upset.” He replies, and I raise my eyebrow at his tone. “Okay, I might be a little upset. But, you promised me you’d be safe.” I shake my head.
“I told you I would try, and I did. I came back.”
“You weren’t alive when you came back, Ruby. You were as cold as ice, covered in blood and burns.” The colour drains from my face. I knew I had died but didn’t know in what state I was when I did.
“Crow-”
“Ruby, please send someone else to deal with Mara. You need more time to rest and heal.” Crow was pleading, and when I looked over to Ari and Rory, playing with their toys, I remembered what Savathun told me: I would leave them motherless.
“If it was Zavala or Ikora telling me to go with nothing else hanging over my head, then yes. I would send another Hunter. But Mara is requesting me personally. If I send someone else, it could create an incident.” Crow looks at our children, and I see he’s thinking about something. I pull my knees up to my chest and wait for him to speak.
“Why can’t she just let this go? I know I can’t force her to stay home. But I worry for her out there. She’s putting too much on the line for this.” I blink a few times, trying to understand what just happened. I heard Crow speak, but his lips never moved. I rub my temples, trying to clear my mind.
“Love?” Crow says as he looks at me again.
“Sorry, headache,” I explain.
“This is why you should let someone else go. Artemis, Shadow or Raven. Please.”
“Crow,” He grips my arms and pulls my sleeve up to show off my injuries. My blue skin is charred in some places and blistered in others. It looks like I’ve been in a fire.
“These are only some of the injuries, Ruby. We don’t know what state the inside of your body is in.” I swallow the lump that formed in my throat.
“I-”
“I can’t lose you, Ruby.” His voice breaks, and I see tears forming in his eyes. “I need you.” I take Crow’s hand and pull him close.
“I need you too, which is why I do what I do. To fight for a world where we can stay together forever. For a world we can watch our children grow and no fear something will destroy us.”
“I understand that, Ruby. But your fighting to be with us means you need to live through the fight.” His words stuck a cord, and I let his hand fall. I needed to survive the fight, or it would mean nothing.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. Tears well up in my eyes, and Crow moves to brush them away.
“Don’t cry, love. I’m not angry.”
“I’ve been stupid.” Crow shakes his head.
“No you haven’t.”
“I could have died...”
“Yes.” Crow pauses. “But you fought to survive and live on. You need to keep doing that.” I nod. “Good.” Crow pulls me to his chest and hugs me.
“You have to do the same. You need to fight to survive, Crow. Because I need you in my life too.”
“Deal.”
“If it helps. I’ll stay in bed or on the couch till I heal. No work, just spend time with you and the kids.” His face lights up at my idea.
“You mean it?”
“I do. I’ve been coming and going so much lately that I haven’t had time to spend with us four as a family.” Crow’s smile grows as he crawls over and pulls me into a kiss.
“I love you.” He whispers against my lips.
“I love you too.” I chuckle before pushing him away.
“If I’m supposed to be resting, this kissing can’t go any further.” He lets out a dramatic sigh but smiles all the same. I yawn, wincing at the pulling in my chest.
“Want a bath? Then we can get you back in bed?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Good. I’ll get the twins down for their nap first.” Crow scoops up Ari and Rory and gets them to bed before coming over and helping me to the bathroom. Undressing before I get in the bath, I see the full extent of my injuries. Burns and blisters litter every inch of my skin, and I’m amazed I’m even standing.
“Ruby?” I look over my shoulder to Crow, getting the bath ready for me.
“I didn’t know it was this bad.”
“I’ll put some cream on after you’re clean.”
“Thanks.” I don’t know why Crow and I thought a bath was a good idea. The moment the water touches my burn, I scream in pain and fall into Crow’s arms.
“Ruby!”
“Bad idea.” Crow pulls me out of the bath and sits me on a nearby stool.
“Where does it hurt?”
“Everyone.” I groan.
“We need to clean the burns.”
“A sponge bath?” Glint suggest.
“Ruby, do you think you can handle that?”
“I can try.” Crow grabs a nearby cloth, dips it in the bath water, and starts cleaning my shoulders. I bite my tongue, cheek and lip till there is blood, trying to stop myself from screaming out or vomiting, but I can’t stop shaking.
“Almost done, Ruby.” I nod, and Crow comes over with a warm bath towel, wraps me and brings me to bed. The burn cream is applied, and Crow helps me into my pyjamas before getting me some pain medication and cuddling in bed.
“So why can’t Stell heal you?” Glint and Stell groan in unison since they explained it when I was out.
“Because my own Light did this. When I used my Golden Gun on Savathun, I overcharged it, and its overload went back to me. I got fried from the inside out.” I feel Crow’s breath hitch in his chest, and I regret my description of my injuries. I sit up and turn to him. “Sorry, that was a bit more graphic than needed.” He raises his hand to move a strand of hair from my face and offers me a warm smile.
“It’s fine. I’m glad you’re alright and that you returned to me.”
“When I’m out there fighting, I know I might seem impulsive, stubborn and sometimes stupid.”
“Back to this?” I turn to face him.
“I’m sorry, Crow. I didn’t realize how bad it was. No wonder you were terrified when I mentioned going out again.”
“When Artemis brought you back... I wanted to rush you to the hospital, but Ikora stepped in and said you’d be fine.”
“Crow...”
“Fight to stay alive. Promise?”
“Promise.” Crow smiles, lifting my chin to kiss me, and I smile into it. Cayde was right. Crow loves me just as much as Cayde did, and it’s finally time for me to move on and enjoy life for both of us.
My first few days at home, I stay in bed, and Crow is there by my side anytime I need something. Food, water, company, he’s there.
“I’ve been thinking, since I’ve been home for a week now and can move around the house and pick up the twins, that we could go out into the City? Spring is here, and I’d like to walk around with you and the babies.”
“Do you think I’m up to it?”
“Yes.”
“We can go once they’re up from their nap.” I smile and hug Crow.
“Thank you.” I head upstairs to change into some warmer clothes and stop to examine my burns. The blisters have healed, and most burns look more like a 1st degree than the 3rd-degree ones I came home with. It might be a bit before I tap into my Solar Light. This experience left a sour taste in my mouth. I join Crow in the living room and take out my sketchbook while he reads. Peaceful till Ari starts crying.
“Naps over.” I chuckle, closing my book to get Ari.
“Sit. I’ll grab them.”
“Crow,”
“Rest a bit more. Please.”
“Alright. I’ll get their bottles ready.” The twins eat fast, and once we get them dressed, we head into the City. The market still smells amazing, with freshly baked bread, fruits, and other foods.
“We should grab something here for supper.” My stomach rumbles loudly in agreement.
“You pick,” Crow says. I follow my nose to a nearby stall selling fresh baguettes and know it will pair perfectly with a pasta dish I’ve been dying to make.
“Two, please.”
“Miss Rose. A pleasure to see the Vanguard walking about the City.” I smile.
“I love walking the market and remembering why us Guardians are fighting.”
“Thank you for your service. This is on the house.”
“Oh, I couldn’t.” I pull out my pouch full of glimmer.
“It’s the least I can do.” The baker backs my two loaves and places the bag in the stroller.
“Thank you.”
“No. Thank you.”
“What are you doing here!” My head whips around at the raised voices, and I rush out to see what all the commotion is about.
“I’m not here to cause trouble.” I push through the circle of people watching the argument and find Crow with another hunter.
“Pfft. Yeah right. All you do is bring chaos wherever you go.” Behind Crow is Rory’s stroller, with Rory safe inside. I know Crow can defend himself, but it’s my daughter that I’m worried about right now.
“I’m here with my family.” Fuck. I wish Crow hadn’t said that because now the hunter’s eyes are on Rory.
“You and your children are abominations.” My eyes narrow at the insult, and I step in to help.
“Don’t you have better things to do than bully people?” A few people gasp as I enter the fray. “I expect better from my hunters.” The hunter scoffs.
“I’m not one of your hunters. The only Vanguard I follow is Cayde.” I roll my eyes and cross my arms.
“I’ll be sure to tell Ikora and Zavala that. I’m sure they’ll love to hear about a rogue hunter.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” I grin, stepping forward, placing myself between Crow and the hunter.
“Try me.” The hunter glares at me, wondering if I’m bluffing, before he scoffs and leaves the confrontation. Once he’s gone, the crowd leaves, and I turn to Crow.
“Everything alright?”
“Can we go home?”
“Of course.” The walk home is quiet, making me worry about what is happening in Crow’s head. I start dinner while Crow plays with the twins, and I can’t help but watch and hope the altercation didn’t bother him.
“Supper is ready.”
“Coming.” Crow helps me get Ari and Rory in their high chairs, and the twins start playing with their pasta. Crow eats quietly, watching the twins by avoiding my gaze.
“Crow,” He slowly looks up at me, and I can figure out what to say.
“yes?”
“How’s your dinner?”
“Oh. Good.” He smiles and then turns his attention back to the twins. After dinner, I get the twins clean and to sleep before joining Crow on the couch. He had his book from this afternoon, but I can tell he isn’t really reading it.
“Twins asleep?”
“Yeah. A bit of a fight. Ari kept saying dada, wanting you instead of me.” Crow chuckles, closing the book and opening his arms for me to cuddle with him. “I think it’s unfair that their first word for Ari and Rory was dada.”
“Let me have this little win.” I stick my tongue out and lay my back to his chest. I trace patterns on his arms while trying to find a way to approach the subject of the altercation.
“Something on your mind, Ruby? You’ve been awfully quiet.”
“It’s about what happened in the market today.”
“That? It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”
“What?”
“Ruby, you know people have attacked and even killed me before. This shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
“No. It’s not that. You’re fine?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You seemed... Distracted since we left the market.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Crow...”
“I’m fine, Ruby. I swear.” His smile is what reassures me in the end. I over-thought this whole thing, and it was nothing more than a squabble, and I’ll be damned if I let that ruin my last few days off before dealing with Mara.