Archive of Our Own ^beta

To: Kuroo

I’m at the entrance. 

Kei waited for a few seconds before pocketing his phone. Kuroo asked him to meet today at the museum. For what reason? Kei doesn’t know but he knows for sure that this isn’t one of their normal dates, no. It’s way past that.

They're both aware of what's about to happen today. They've been prepared for this. 

The wind blew gently, messing his hair a bit. Kei looked up to the sky. It's cloudy, the sun is nowhere to be seen. It's been like that since early in the morning and he feels as if the sky is empathizing with him. Or the sky knows what will happen later. Kei doesn't know but the weather today just adds up to the sadness he's already feeling. 

He heaved a deep breath and stuffed both his hands inside his coat pocket. They agreed to meet by 3pm and Kei arrived here 10mins before 3. He always does that on their dates and it has become a habit now. 

"Hey."

Kei turns around and sees Kuroo and it's like seeing him for the first time. Clad in his coat over his black button-up shirt that's cleanly tucked in his pants...

Kuroo Tetsurou remains the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on. 

And it's such a shame to see him for the last time...

"Hi," Kei greets. He walks towards him and plants a soft kiss on his cheek. Kuroo smiles at him.

"Did I make you wait?" 

"Not at all, I just got here." 

Kuroo hummed and looked over the building. 

Tokyo National Museum 

This is the place where they first met. At that time, Kei was the newly-hired curator while Kuroo worked as the director here in the museum. 

Kei didn't believe in the concept of "love at first sight" but after meeting Kuroo five years ago and staring into his deep black eyes that hold so many emotions at once, Kei couldn't help but fall. 

And really, falling in love with Kuroo is easy. It's hard not to fall for that lazy smirk he has all the time, his playful attitude, his deep voice, his genuine care towards the people around him, how he holds himself with confidence, his whole personality, and those eyes...

Those cat-like eyes. 

Everytime Kei looks at them, it feels like Kuroo's directly staring at his soul, trying to read him, to turn him inside out. He never felt so small when those eyes landed on him for the first time.

Kei loves that in him. Kuroo's eyes. It never faked any emotion that he's feeling. It always reflects in those eyes.

Just like now.

There's sadness in it. Melancholy.

And if Kei would look in a mirror, he knows that they are wearing the same expression. 

Kuroo turns back to him and gives him a small smile. "Shall we go?" 

Kei stares at him for a few seconds. Contemplating for a bit before accepting his hand and nodding. They entered the museum hand in hand. 

The museum is still the same. Nothing much has been changed except for the arrangements and the staff. There are students, civilians, and tourists inside. The national museum never runs out of visitors because of the arts and artifacts that have been preserved inside. 

They walked around and took their time admiring the arts and artifacts placed inside the glass cases. There's a few new artifacts that Kei noticed, maybe it was placed there when he resigned. Kuroo also pointed out how they changed the arrangement and fixed some parts of the museum. It was him who noticed a lot of changes. Kei couldn't blame him for pointing out each of those, he knew this place very well. 

"Kuroo? is that you?" 

They turned around at the same time and saw Takahashi-san, one of the security staff here in the museum. He's also the oldest staff here and works here the longest. So he's still here...

"Taka-chan!" the man beside him excitedly whisper-shouts.

Kuroo lets go of his hand and hugs the old man. They are really close. Kuroo treats Takahashi-san as his uncle and the latter is more than happy to indulge him. Kei couldn't help the smile on his face when he saw how the raven-haired boy threw himself to the elder. The latter chuckled at Kuroo's actions and hugged him back. Their position is a bit awkward since Kuroo's much taller.

"My, my. It's been a while since I last saw you. You haven't visited here for a year,” Takahashi-san croaked once Kuroo let go of him. 

He scratches his neck sheepishly, a habit of his that Kei finds adorable. He does that when he's shy or flustered. 

"I've been a little busy with my new work. Promise I'll visit here often." 

Takahashi-san just shook his head before turning sideways to look at Kei. He offered him a smile. 

"How have you been, little moon? Won't you give this old man a hug, too?" 

"You're too sappy for your age," Kei replied but moved his body to hug him. 

"Let me be, brat. I missed you both, did you know that?" the old man whispered directly in his ear. Kei could feel the back of his eyes stinging a little. Out of all the staff here, he felt most close with Takahashi-san and seeing him after a year gives him warmth. it's always this warm whenever Takahashi-san is around. 

He lets him go after a few seconds. There's a soft smile plastered on the elder's face while looking at them with fondness in his eyes. 

"You two really look good together," the old man said.

Kei's small smile fell at that. He was with them from the start of their relationship, giving them his full support, giving some advice, and telling them not to be afraid of showing people that they love each other. 

If only Takahashi-san knows what's gonna happen later that day. 

"Are you two out on a date?" he asks and turns to Kuroo. 

Kuroo didn't answer right away. He probably doesn't know what to tell the old man. This isn't a date, they both know it. It's much more than that.  

The elder glanced at him. Kei nodded his head. It's up to him. 

"Sort of.”

That's all Kuroo said and Takahashi-san is not dense. He knows how to read the room. He stares at them for another minute before having a deep sigh.

"You're old enough to know what you're doing. Just don't decide something that you will regret later on, okay? I'll leave you two for now. Come see me before leaving the museum." 

The pair watched the old man retreating back before staring at each other. Kuroo smiled at him. Kei looked away. He heard him clearing his throat. 

"Should we continue walking?" 

Kei shook his head. 

"I think it's time for us to talk, Kuroo." 

And stop prolonging the inevitable. 

There's a coffee shop meters away from the museum and that's where they went. Kei found them a table while Kuroo ordered some coffee. Just like inside the museum, there's only a few people in here. Maybe it's because of the weather that's why a few people can only be seen today. There's a possibility that it will rain anytime soon. The dark clouds are already looming over them. 

Prolonging the inevitable...

Kei's not dense nor does Kuroo but they're both holding themselves from talking about this topic. They were not ready yet. It's not actually a big topic nor a heavy one but they still need some preparations. It's not an easy thing to talk about. Both of their perspectives are needed and they don't want to decide things individually. That's not what they agreed on when they started their relationship.

"Always talk and communicate. Trust is not the only thing important here but also communication." 

So after almost a month of dancing around each other, a month of walking on eggshells, they're finally ready to talk. And Kei has been looking forward to this day and at the same time dreading it. 

Because he knows and Kuroo knows— both of them know that this talk will end sadly. 

Kuroo comes to their table with a tray, their coffee on top of it. Kei helps him put down the coffee while Kuroo puts the tray at the empty table next to them. He takes a sip on his cup and glances back outside. Kei could feel Kuroo's eyes on him, silently observing him. 

"You can start," Kei whispers, loud enough for Kuroo to hear. "We've been delaying this talk for a month now. I think it's high time to deal with it." 

"Yeah, you're right," Kuroo agrees. "But before that, could you please look at me?"

"I don't see the p—"

"Moonshine, please?"

Kei stops. He could his heart constricting at the nickname. Kuroo hasn't called him that in weeks and he chose this day to call him that again. Kei would lie to himself if he said it doesn't hurt a little. 

God, he will definitely miss that. 

He takes a deep breath and nods his head. Kei adjusts his seat and sits straight— facing Kuroo. He's still wearing the same expression he had when they met at the entrance earlier. 

Sadness with a tinge of longing.

They stayed like that for a while— just staring at each other. And directly looking at Kuroo's face at times like this is enough to bring tears to Kei's eyes. 

He's lucky to have an amazing person like Kuroo by his side. 

Lucky to have Kuroo love him and take care of him. 

Meeting Kuroo Tetsurou is probably one of the best moments in Kei's life. And he's so goddamn lucky to live in a time the same as Kuroo.

And it's such a waste that this will be their last meeting and he can't guarantee if they will meet again like this in the future. 

How did we end up like this?

It was him who broke their silence. 

"We both know the reason why we're here," Kuroo hums. "To talk about us." 

Kuroo sadly smiled at his words. 

"And to break things off," the elder continues. Kei nods.

They've been on the verge of break-up ever since last month. They both felt it. How they both got tired of their relationship, how they wanted to break free but couldn't because in that span of five years, they got dependent on each other, how the excitement fades, the giddy feeling dropping, and everything else.

They both felt it. 

Maybe it was Kuroo who felt it first. Maybe it was Kei. Bottomline is, they're both tired and wanted an out. 

Kuroo takes his hand that was placed on the top of the table. He starts fiddling with it, tracing the lines on his palm, holding his fingers one by one, and lastly, kissing his knuckle. Kei fought back a sob.

"You know I love you, right?" Kuroo asks with a little voice. Kei squeezed his hand as answer. There's not a single second where he didn't feel loved by kuroo. 

"But we must do this. Otherwise we'll just hurt ourselves in the future,” Kuroo adds, voice straining a little. He's still holding Kei's hand, squeezing it gently from time to time. 

"I know that. We're on the same page here, Tetsu." 

"How did we even end up like this?"

Kei shrugs. He honestly doesn't know. 

"Maybe because of work? Maybe we're too busy chasing after our dreams that we forgot about each other. Or maybe the spark had died down and we can never light it up again. Or..." Kei sighs deeply and shakes his head. 

"I don't know, Tetsu, maybe it was because of something else we can't name yet." 

He leans forward the table and grabs Kuroo's hand that's holding his other hand. He gently brushes his knuckles before staring up to him. Kuroo's eyes are glistening with unshed tears. 

"There's only one thing that I'm sure about. We're both tired ." 

A tear drops from his eyes. 

A tear also drops from Kuroo's eyes. 

Kei holds his hand tightly. 

"I love you, Tetsu. so fucking much," he sobs. The tears are flowing freely from his eyes, wetting his cheeks. They're both crying now. 

Thunder rumbles and soon after, rain starts to fall. The sky is crying with them. 

"I love you, too, moonshine. I love you so much that it hurts..." Kuroo whispers against their intertwined hands. 

"But we can't continue this anymore. You and I both know that," Kei sniffled. Kuroo nodded. 

"We should cut things off while the wound is still not deep," the raven-haired whispered. Kei hummed.

They must cut things off while they can. While they still haven't felt that their relationship is only a mere responsibility that they have to face. because that's not how relationships are supposed to work.

It's teamwork. 

They still love each other but the unfortunate thing is, they got tired.

And isn't that enough reason to let go? Even though it's hard, they have to do it. Before things become worse and before the wound digs deeper. 

They gave each other time to calm down. Kuroo didn't let go of Kei's hand and so did Kei. They're still holding each other's hands. Both of them are probably cherishing it, this last moment, before parting ways. 

"Five years is not bad," Kuroo mumbled.

"Six years if you're gonna add the year long that you courted me." 

"Yeah, six years is not too bad."

Kei nodded. "I think we lasted long enough." 

For the last time that day, they stared at each other's eyes. Both mirroring the same expression: sadness, longing, pain, and genuine love . 

Kuroo kissed his hands one last time before letting it go. Before letting him go. 

Kei did the same. He gently kissed his hand, squeezed it gently before letting it go. And letting go of kuroo. 

While looking at Kuroo's figure getting smaller and smaller, Kei thought that maybe he wouldn't love someone the way he loves kuroo. Nothing could not compare to the love that he has for that raven-haired boy. 

Six years is already a long time. This chapter in their lives has already been closed. Kei is still and will always be thankful to live a life at the same time with Kuroo. 

But yeah, this is where it all ends. They really lasted long enough...