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“What is going on in here?” Loki asked with a frown as he entered the public house and saw the vast destruction inside. Smashed furniture and broken bottles lay everywhere. “Why have I been summonsed?”

The greasy, rotund owner grabbed Loki’s arm with relief. “Prince Loki!” he said with shaking jowls and rolling eyes. “Thank goodness you have arrived! Prince Thor has been drinking and has torn my establishment to shambles!”

“Where is he?” Loki asked, craning his neck and trying to see into the murky interior. “Why is it so dim in here?”

“I thought it best to remove any lamps that might be thrown in anger. I did not want my building to be burned to the ground, too.”

“Anything could be lurking in the shadows, from an owl to a timber wolf,” Loki said suspiciously.

“Only Prince Thor, sire, and that is enough.”

Loki gave the man a scathing look. “He is a prince of Asgard. You will not speak of him in that manner.”

The subdued man nodded quickly. “Yes, m’ lord.”

“Brew a hot drink and bring it to me at once. Nothing alcoholic!” Loki instructed. “And open the windows. Get some light in here.” He sniffed with disdain. “And some fresh air. This fetid place will strike us all down with a plague.”

“Yes, m’ lord,” the proprietor agreed as he scurried off, importantly calling Loki’s orders to others.

Loki cautiously stepped forward and saw Thor hunched over a bar where he sat sipping from a tankard. Loki took a moment to prepare himself. Time to transform into Loki the Pain in the Ass Scoundrel without a care in the world.

“Ah, Brother! So here you are!” Loki announced as he slapped Thor on the back and slid into place beside him. "Been having fun, I see."

Thor barely wasted the energy glancing at him. “What rock did you ooze out from? Won't your buddies the slime molds be missing your honored presence?”

You have no right to be judging others, Loki thought as he took in Thor’s disheveled appearance. But aloud he said, “Ha! Ha! Ever the joker!”

“Go away,” Thor muttered. “Go get back under your rock again. Or boulder. Or better still, just stand there and let a rockslide engulf you. A deep one. One that will still that mouth of yours forever. That would be a blessing for everyone,” he muttered.

“Such evil plans you have for me,” Loki chided.

“That doesn’t begin to cover the trials I have in store for you. But I couldn’t do anything more to you in here. Too many witnesses. See?” He glanced around, then frowned with puzzlement. “Where has everyone gone? It was such a good party, too.”

“They decided to leave, I expect. Nowhere to sit,” Loki muttered as Thor grunted in agreement about the broken tables and chairs scattered everywhere. “Here, drink this,” Loki ordered as he took the hot drink from the tavern owner.

“Is it warm mead?" Thor asked suspiciously. "That doesn’t sound good right now.”

“It’s better than warm mead.”

“Really?! Better than warm mead, the drink of the gods? It must be a golden elixir indeed.”

“Yeah, that’s what it is alright,” Loki muttered as he smelled the awful concoction as it passed under his nose. Only a drunkard could consume it without complaining or puking. So Loki figured that Thor could handle it just fine.

So Thor drank it right down in several long gulps. Loki watched, figuring at any moment Thor would choke on it and start puking. That’s when Loki would perform a wondrous great feat of dexterity by jumping out of harm’s way in the nick of time.

Instead, Thor set the empty tankard down with satisfaction on his face. “That was delicious! Barkeep! I’ll have another!”

“No, you won’t,” Loki dictated as he hauled Thor to his feet. “You’re going home.”

“No, I can’t. I can't go there!"

"Why not?" Loki wanted to know as he wrestled to keep Thor on his feet.

"I might see Loki there!”

“And that would be so bad? Seeing Loki?” Loki asked, breathlessly awaiting Thor’s answer. It had suddenly gotten personal.

“Yes. He is such a trial.”

Loki relaxed. So Thor wasn't thinking of anything personal between them. “Well, you know Loki. He is a bit of a rascal and his teasing sometimes comes with some awfully sharp barbs attached.”

“Yes, but besides that, I might want to kiss him again.”

Loki frowned. That wasn’t exactly what had happened since Loki had been the one to kiss Thor first. But apparently that was the way Thor was remembering it.

At the same time that he had that thought, Loki heard a gasp behind him. He turned and shot a look at the startled tavern owner. “We’re a very loving family." He saw the guy blink.

Thor's face screwed up as if he was a one-year-old getting ready to cry. "But I made Loki sad! And now he won't kiss me again!"

"Thor--"

The tavern owner gasped again, but Loki was too busy to pay the man any further attention.

"Thor, will you just--" Loki coached, pulling on his arm to get him to follow. But in the next moment Thor said something that literally took Loki's breath away and left him speechless.

"And I want to kiss him so bad! I want to make Loki happy again!"

Well, yeah, but-- the moon and the sun not being in the sky at the same time and all that dire omen business.

"And me, too! I want to make me happy, too!" Thor finished and nearly knocked the breath completely out of Loki.

"And that would make you happy?" Loki asked before he could stop himself. He didn't care who was listening. He had to know.

"Yes. Yes!" Thor assured him.

And in a moment Loki was in the middle of something he’d been trying hard not to think about. It had been several weeks since that intimate scene between the two of them, and they had been avoiding each other ever since. That’s pretty easily done without raising much suspicion when two people are living in a palace as large as Asgard’s. But still Loki had felt Thor’s presence, and that made things worse than if they’d been separated a long distance. Apparently it had been working on Thor, also.

"And I'm so, so sorry about what I did!" Thor was nearly blubbering. "But he won't even look at me!"

"He might be afraid to," Loki muttered to himself.

"Eh?" Thor asked with a frown. Then he caught sight of the tavern owner. "Barkeep! More mead!"

"Never mind that order," Loki told the tavern owner and barely glanced at the judgmental man who was even now probably accumulating juicy details about the errant gods within their midst. It wouldn’t be long before that tale would be sweeping through Asgard, the tale about the kissing brothers who made each other sad.

“Come on, Brother,” Loki said, grabbing Thor’s arm. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“I want Loki to take me home.”

“Your wish is my command,” Loki muttered as he struggled to lead the bigger man outside.

“I want Loki!” Thor declared on the street as onlookers, some amused and others shocked, stared at them.

“You’ve got him, you big oaf,” Loki muttered, not having much luck guiding the weaving Thor.

“Loki doesn’t love me anymore!”

“Yes, he does.”

"How could he?! I hurt him! I hurt him so much!" Thor was practically bawling.

"He'll forgive you. If I know him, he'll forgive you," Loki admitted with a weary sigh about his own lack of courage. "He always does."

Thor stopped and studied Loki. “Do you know my brother Loki?”

“Intimately,” Loki assured him.

“How so is that?” Then Thor got angry. “Intimately, you say?! Have you been having relations with him?!" he accused as Loki tried to deny Thor's accusations before Thor started throwing punches at him. "Have you been taking advantage of that sweet boy again?!” Thor bellowed as he started jabbing an accusing finger into Loki’s chest. “You leave my brother alone!”

“Thor, will you just-- Ouch! That finger hurts!”

“Just who in the hell are you anyway?! Are you one of those terrible cowherds?! Why can’t you stay dead?!”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” What was it about cowherds that got Thor so stirred up all the time lately? And Loki just thought it was him with an unnatural fear of cattle. Thor apparently did, also, but had kept it well hidden up until now.

“Where is Loki?!” Thor demanded, looking around wildly. “I must find Loki! To help him! To protect him! Loki! Loki! Where's my baby brother?! Loki!”

“How do I get myself into these situations?” Loki muttered to himself. “Thor, you big oaf! Stop that insane yelling! Look at me! Look!" he commanded as he shook Thor. "I am Loki!”

A big smile burst across Thor’s face as he recognized him. “Loki! You’re here!”

“Yes, Thor.”

"Loki!"

Thor threw his arms around Loki and gave him a big hug. Loki staggered against Thor size and weight being thrown against him so unexpectedly. Then Loki just closed his eyes and hugged Thor back. It was wonderful being in Thor's arms even if the guy was almost blubbering and practically rubbing the skin off Loki as his arms ran up and down Loki's back.

At last Loki managed to break the hold and get Thor calmed down some. Then Thor frowned. “There’s a guy who was just here claiming to be you. I wouldn’t trust him.”

“Probably a sound plan. I hear he's not to be trusted.”

“Take me home, Loki,” Thor begged as he threw his arms around Loki and clung to him again, but at least not as enthusiastically as before. “Take me home and be good to me.”

Loki closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he clung to Thor, too. There was nothing that Loki would like to do more than just that. He longed to be so good to Thor that Thor would never look further for love. It would just be Thor and Loki, forever.

But there was still that business between them about the moon and the sun and the decree that they shouldn’t be in the sky at the same time, whatever in the hell that all meant. It was awfully difficult to ignore mandates like that when they have been ordained from above. Loki might be a god himself, but he figured it was wiser to be on the good side of the others of his kind and not mess with their mandates too much.

At the palace, Loki passed the half-unconscious Thor over to a couple of servants who would see that he got cleaned up and put to bed. Loki just couldn’t bring himself to be that indifferent about handling Thor’s body, especially since he yearned to have Thor handling him in the same way.

But just as soon as he released the guy who had all but mauled him in his arms on their way to the palace, Loki immediately felt deserted and alone and empty, not only in his arms but in his heart. He wanted Thor back, but knew that he couldn’t have him.

He needed a woman and he needed rutting. The rougher and the mindless, the better. That was what women had been made for, to satisfy the animal needs of men. Forget this foolishness with Thor, and act like the man he was supposed to be.

So Loki went in search of Gertrud or Brunhild or Arianna to bed her. It really didn’t matter which woman he found as long as she had breasts and a vagina and not balls and a penis. For he was haunted by balls and a penis, especially a certain set that he yearned so much to be subjected to, but could never be.

And when Thor sobered up, he was doing the same thing with drinking and gaming and whoring around as Loki was. He and his friends went on wild fishing parties, and it was a wonder that the boats returned to shore with everyone still onboard and alive. True, some of them were hanging over the gunwales in drunken stupors and couldn't recall their last few days at sea, but they all returned to port again somehow.

Meanwhile, mortals and gods alike stood back and watched in fascinated horror as Loki and Thor crashed around in their sorrow while trying to forget what had caused them that sorrow. The onlookers wondered how it all would end for this pair of star-crossed gods who seemed to be destined to love deeply and to suffer greatly. For gods on high can make mandates, but there was still freewill in the universe. Even the gods cannot deprive anyone of that. So people are free to make their own mistakes. And so Loki and Thor did. Over and over again as they crashed around seeking some sort of relief from a sorrow they never could rectify.

But nothing like this circle of debauchery and self-hurt and self-hatred can last forever, and it ended one evening rather abruptly in a rain of arrows and anguished cursing and one broken body lying still as if dead. Very dead.

Thor entered the small bedroom and threw the burden he was carrying over his massive shoulders onto the bed. Loki bounced once, then grabbed the sides of the small bed so he wouldn't be sent sprawling awkwardly onto the floor. But all the while his marveling eyes never left his brother as if he was uncertain of what would happen between them next.

"And stay there!" Thor ordered as he stomped toward the table in the far corner. He grabbed a tankard and poured its contents down his throat. He winced as the bitter concoction tore at his throat raspy from yelling. "Of all the stupid, asinine stunts to pull...." he muttered. "Dumbest thing I've ever seen! You need a keeper, but I don't know of anybody dumb enough to take on that thankless job!" Then he glared at the empty tankard like he'd found the guilty culprit at last and threw it onto the floor where it landed with a resounding crash and some ominous tinkling.

"I thought that was your favorite tankard--"

"Shut up! Just... Just shut up!" Thor ordered as he pointed a finger at Loki. Crash went the table as Thor kicked it aside, muttering to himself all the while. Bottles and tankards went flying and rolling everywhere. Care would have to be taken so nobody stepped on broken glass, because Thor certainly did not seem to be in the mood to be taking care of that little chore, and Loki was smart enough not to move.

Loki blinked. "Redecorating your little hideaway by the beach, Brother?" he asked blithely although his heart was racing with his daring. He always had to be taunting Thor, and thereby pushing himself, too, into questionable areas. "I don't know if I like what you are doing with the furnishings, though. What do you call it? Early caveman? Repurposed stick? Are you liberating furniture back to its natural forms, perhaps? Daring, but perhaps not too innovative. I don't know if I like it myself. Too simple for my tastes. And far from being functional anymore. Just a pile of trash now, actually. But if that is the way you like it--" He shrugged, letting Thor finish however he wanted.

Thor glared at him, and Loki made a show of clamping his mouth shut even though they both knew that wouldn't last.

Loki saw Thor reaching for a full bottle. "You know you really shouldn't drink like that on an empty stomach. The fire pains will return and you won't be able to sleep for hours. And then it will be 'Loki, Loki, Loki, it hurts! What should I do? Oh, what should I do?' And then I will just have to soothe your fevered brow and send you to bed with some hot milk meant for the lambs like I generally have to do--"

Thor stared at him with murder in his eyes. "I told you to shut up!"

Loki gave him a devilish grin. "Now, when have I ever done what you wanted?" he asked reasonably. "Why then, should I start now?"

Thor frowned at Loki's torn and bloody shirt and the dark patches on it. "You're bleeding. Must hurt like hell."

"It does." Loki didn't even have to look down. He knew he was bleeding. He knew he was hurting, but he was trying not to let on how much. "That happens when you get shot by a lot of arrows."

Thor muttered something nasty about the gods in general and grabbed an unbroken bottle of spirits off the floor. Then he stomped to the bed to glare down at Loki lying there. He spoke in a surprisingly quiet voice, but then maybe he was deliberately controlling it. Heaven only knew he certainly got a lot of practice doing that sort of thing around Loki. "You looked like a pincushion out there, did you know that?"

Loki simply gave him a closed-mouth half-smile.

"Arrows were sticking out of you everywhere," Thor continued. "By all rights, blood should have been spurting up into the heavens."

Loki shrugged as if he could not argue with any of Thor's assessment. Loki couldn't disagree with the obvious.

Thor continued in the same overly controlled voice that was too quiet for comfort. "I figured that some of your wounds were mortal. They looked it."

Loki smiled, but this time with a happy grin. "It seems they should have been. Yet here I still am."

Thor grunted in exasperation and made some noise that Loki couldn't quite translate. Perhaps it was better that he could not.

"Mortal wounds, you say, Thor? Wouldn't you get lucky then? No more Loki to pester you."

Thor flinched, then shivered. "Your wounds!" he growled. "I want to know now! How bad are they?! Are you going to die from them?!"

Loki's devilish grin deepened. "I guess we'll soon be finding out, won't we?"

"You will answer me, or I will be the one soothing your fevered brow and putting you to bed! Only it might not be a bed. If you are hurt as badly as I think you are, it could well be your grave!" Thor looked horrified at what he had just said. It was not good for a god to predict so rashly. It could be taken as an omen. It could even come true. And Thor did not wish that for Loki. Not really. Not Loki.

Loki wiped the grin off his face and gave Thor a searching look. "If my grave is where I am sleeping tonight, I promise not to haunt you. Will that bring you peace if I promise to stay dead?"

Thor snorted in frustration and turned aside. He wiped a hand slowly down his face as if he didn't know quite what else to do.

"I lied just now," Loki said softly as his eyes danced merrily with a secret jest. "I would haunt you. I am such a curious creature. I would want to witness your tears as you mourned me. I would want to know if you really cared."

"How about now?! Will now work just as well?!" Thor bellowed as he spun so Loki could see him. Tears were running down his face, and his face was full of anguish. "Is this what you wanted to see?! Is it?!"

Loki jerked and his grin faded as his eyes enlarged with awe.

"Take a good look and see what you can do to others with your foolish pranks! You looked dead, Loki! Dead! And I wanted to die, too! Because I had killed you!"

Loki flinched as if Thor had slapped him instead of just chastised him.

"That's right! Look! Look at me, Loki! Look! This is what grieving looks like! This is what you can do to people! Of course I would care!"

"Thor, I, I'm sorry."

"I thought you were dead! Dead! And I thought it was my fault! Why the hell did you run between the archers and me anyway?! It was my fight!"

"It was my fight, too, when they picked on my brother," was all that Loki could answer. "Besides, if I recall, you were cleaning up a mess that I had made involving some young miss and her upcoming motherhood, a motherhood which I believe her family was trying to legitimize. Who knew that her brothers were crack bowmen or that they thought it was my turn to march down the aisle?"

"But you weren't even armed!" Thor spat out, fighting to regain his composure and soothe his shattered nerves.

Loki shrugged. "I was rather indisposed, coming as I was, from another young lady's boudoir. It was pure luck that I had donned my trousers and shirt again. I did not take time for anything else when I heard what was happening with you. I figured perhaps it was not the time for primping, but rather for action."

"But you're always armed! Except tonight! Why weren't you armed now?!" Thor snorted. "What were you planning to use against those archers?! Your fingernails?! Your maddening charm?!" He glared. "Your incredible stupidity?!" he bellowed.

"True, I am generally armed. And I was tonight," Loki accepted demurely. "And I had been putting it to good use, too." He looked mischievous. "In the boudoir."

Thor sniffed as he realized Loki's double-play on words. He stopped talking about swords since Loki so obviously wasn't. "Can't you just keep it in your pants?!"

"Now you sound like Father. Has his advice ever worked with you? Your exploits with the ladies are legendary."

"Maybe not. But at least I wade into a fight with my sword. Or knife. Or something! I don't go in barehanded." Thor put his hand over his brow, and he just breathed deeply for a few moments. The reality of it all was just sweeping over him, perhaps harder than when he had witnessed it. It had been so close and it all could have been over for good. Loki could be dead right now.

Thor's sudden silence bothered Loki worse than his anger. He frowned. "Thor? What's wrong?"

"Nothing will ever rid me of the sight of your body going down so fast," Thor whispered. "And then you were lying so still... so still. And you wouldn't answer when I called your name. I thought it was because you couldn't hear me. I thought you'd never hear me again!"

"I was playing dead so they would leave me alone," Loki explained, trying to ease Thor's anguish.

"But I did not know that!" Thor thundered back.

Concern for his brother swept over Loki and a little remorse, too. "It's alright, Thor. I'm alright. Truly I am."

"Really?" Thor asked as he took his hand away from his head.

Then to distract Thor some more, Loki decided to give him an update on his condition. "Well, to tell the truth, there are some places here on my abdomen that are beginning to smart quite a bit--" he said as he started scratching around to get under his clothing, but he was a little clumsy considering his pain and all.

Thor was immediately there and helping him scratch, too. He roosted on the side of the bed and pulled Loki's shirt out from under his trousers. That's when they both could see the blood.

"No wonder those places are smarting," Loki mumbled in an effort to lighten the moment. "At least it helped that you took the arrows out before you moved me."

"I didn't want to push them in further when I carried you."

"Smart thinking. And remarkable actually, when you consider the fervor you were experiencing."

"I was a little distracted. It's not everyday I see a sight such as that." He shivered. "Thank the stars."

Loki frowned as he poked his finger at his partially hidden wounds. "Perhaps they should be seen to--"

Then Thor just started tearing at the shirt to unbutton it, and Loki helped so some of the shirt would be left. He didn't know why he was trying to be so careful with the garment, though, when it was a bloody mess. But he figured he should go through the motions since Thor seemed so intent on the situation.

Loki winced when Thor was rougher than he should have been in his haste. "You might want to be a little more careful there, Brother, if you don't mind. It's still all attached. I'd like to keep it that way if at all possible. Don't be finishing the job that some arrow started." He saw Thor blanch at that thought and decided not to mention that particular fact again. Not if he wanted Thor's help instead of having to help Thor to keep from passing out. "That would be so anticlimactic at this stage. And so inglorious."

"Sorry," Thor mumbled, then his motions stilled as he just stared down at Loki's exposed abdomen and all the drying blood smeared on it.

But what really concerned Thor was the fresh blood seeping out of wounds and finding crazy paths down Loki's ribcage. That fresh blood needed to be stopped.

"Is it that bad?" Loki wanted to know. "Judging by your face, I'll never rise from this bed again." He gave the humble room and especially the bed a disparaging glance. "And it is not any kind of proper bed at all. Why couldn't you have taken me to someplace at least elegant and scented with roses?"

"There wasn't time," Thor answered mechanically as he continued to deny what his eyes were telling him about Loki's condition. His fingers twitched spasmodically while they waited for Thor's command on what to do next.

"Hmm. I am beginning to smart something fiercely now," Loki noted. Then he lay back because it suddenly seemed like the wisest course of action since the room looked a little off kilter. "Must have been the shock of getting wounded. I could barely feel my wounds until a moment ago, but now I can." Then reality set in with a terrible jolt and left him quite shaken and afraid. "Will I bleed out, Thor? Tell me. Will I?" He sounded really scared and nearly a little boy again.

But the absurdity of the question grounded Thor like nothing else had done until then. To think that Loki could bleed to death in front of him was inconceivable! For one thing, Thor would never allow it! "Be realistic! If you were in the process of doing that, I would be drenched in blood and so would the bed. Now just lie still and let me try to heal you. And stop being so dramatic and upsetting people. That's not helping the situation at all."

"Sorry," Loki mumbled, a little miffed by Thor's sharpness. "I suppose how I'm acting would be more understandable to you if it had been your abdomen that was bleeding like a stuck hog now instead of mine."

"Oh, don't carry on so," Thor retaliated. "Or I'll save it for your funeral dirge so that others can hear how whiny a spoiled god can be. Then they'll learn what he was really thinking on his death bed instead of what wisdom he could leave for a people who would gnash their teeth and wail at his passing."

"Everybody's a critic," Loki muttered as he prepared himself for Thor's ministrations. "I suppose you'll be ham-handed about it."

"Shut up, or I'll do it with one eye closed!"

Loki glanced at him. "It would become you. Having just one eye. And you could cover it with an eyepatch. That would look so sexy. You would seem so romantic and mysterious. You really need to try it, Thor. Really you must. You would look just like Father, and the women would flock to you."

"Not needing any pointers from you in the romance department," Thor muttered as he measured wine into a cup.

"Have you ever taken a survey from the ladies about that?"

"Shut up! Or I'll close both eyes while I tend you!"

Loki wisely complied.

Thor poured some alcohol on the wounds despite Loki's hiss of pain from the definite bite to his raw skin. Then Thor shoved his hands firmly against the wounds one after the other and called upon the Goddess Eir to bring healing to Loki through his hands. Loki protested and squirmed a little under the intense pressure on his sore flesh. Bruising would surely have started by now, also, so Thor's shoving hands didn't feel very good.

"Lie still! Or I will give you something to squirm about! Then the backside of you will be smarting like you deserve it to be burning for what you did this evening!"

At the mention of a spanking, they both settled down. Surely thoughts of those childhood spankings that Loki used to endure from Thor's hands were on the minds of both of them. They especially did not try to think about how they had each enjoyed those intimate times when Loki's exposed slim hips had been subjected to Thor's hearty slaps.

"Is it any better?" Loki asked as Thor examined the treated wounds.

"Yes, but you are not going anywhere for a few days."

"A few days?! What if I have to relieve myself which I most assuredly will need to do if we're talking days here. I'm sure that even gods would explode otherwise."

"I will bring you a slops jar and you can use that."

"And let it just sit there and stink and ferment while I have to lie here and smell it for days on end until I can move the slops jar myself? It's still warm weather, Thor. I'd rather hang my ass over the sea cliff and let the fishes and seabirds worry about my daily contributions to the waters below then taking up housekeeping with the bride from Hell with the foul breath. Nearby inland birds to this house will start migrating to their winter home early because of the stench from that slops jar. And we will wish that we could migrate with them to get away from that questionable addition to our domestic threesome."

"Once again you have not thought of the obvious solution about the slops jar. I will carry it outside and dump it."

Loki turned some interesting colors as his embarrassment washed over him. "You would do that? For me?!"

"For me. I'll still be in here feeding you, remember, so you can produce what will go into that slops jar."

Loki frowned in thought. "Oh, yes, I had forgotten that. Hmm. Sorry," he said meekly.

"Loki, stop being so ashamed. You were always too sensitive about letting family do for you. That is what family is, but we could never make you understand that. You always kept that personal distance from us; we did not keep it from you. And somehow, you always thought it was the other way around. You thought we were the ones being stand-offish when it was really you."

"You really were concerned about me?" Loki asked in awe.

"All of the time," Thor reassured him. Then he changed the subject to alleviate Loki's embarrassment. Loki had always been so concerned about himself that he had not considered anyone else's heartache. "Is everything else okay on you? Is there anything else bothering you?"

Loki was still wrapped up with the thought that his brother really liked him. And it affected him in a new and thrilling way. So imp that he could be, he decided to share. Besides, it was a safer road than exploring Thor's true feelings for him. "I think there might be some wounds further below," Loki told him with a little concern in his voice. "I feel some intense aching. You know. Down there," he said as he cast his eyes downward. "It's really beginning to bother, Thor. I can feel it now since Eir has been healing my abdomen. I wish you would see what you could do for it, for what's aching down there."

Thor gulped. A wound in that area could be very serious! Thor grabbed Loki's clothing at the waist and yanked. He didn't even pause at Loki's startled grunt. Thank goodness the trousers had been previously loosened in front, or about now there would be the rich sound of good material ripping apart. Because Thor was not to be denied! He wanted Loki's lower abdomen exposed, and now!

Thor had shoved Loki's opened trousers and smallclothes partway down and he could see the beginning mat of dark hair tightly curling and pointing downward from the bellybutton, when it occurred to Thor that Loki might be pulling one of his famous pranks. For one thing, there was no blood in sight down there. For another, Thor's hands were dangerously close to Loki's private area, an area that had been the original cause for all of their current concern.

Thor stopped yanking and settled back demurely as if touching Loki any lower was the furthest thing from his mind.

"Hey!" Loki protested. "There might be an emergency condition down there!"

"The cause of your intense aching that was really beginning to bother you?! Like the beginnings of an erection?! Come on, Loki! Grow up!" Thor sneered as Loki tried to look contrite, but couldn't quite pull it off. "To think I fell for that like a novice! Or some untried virgin! No wonder you can get yourself into so much trouble so easily! You could charm the husks off a chestnut with talk like that!"

Loki smiled happily, full well knowing that his ruse had been discovered and that Thor was halfway between being annoyed by him and being bewitched. "Can't blame a guy for trying, can you?"

"Yes, Loki. You are very trying."

Loki grinned fondly, then settled his hand on Thor's arm and gently clasped it. "Thank you for helping me."

Thor scowled, trying not to be taken in. Loki sounded sincere, but he could be devious. "You knew I would," he finally grumbled.

"Because you are my wonderful big brother, that's why."

"Oh, get some rest!" Thor declared as he jumped off the bed and stomped away.

So for the next few days Thor tended Loki as promised. And all was aboveboard between them until Thor was helping Loki to hobble around the small room for exercise. Just as Thor was helping him down to the bed again, Loki made his move by pulling Thor into an embrace and stealing a kiss from the startled Thor. It was only then that Thor discovered that Loki was more recovered than he had been letting on, because Loki was holding onto him tightly.

"What is the meaning of this?" Thor demanded as he stood grasping Loki at the top of his shoulders as if he had been caught in the process of shoving him down instead of merely helping him down.

Loki was looking up with his yearning heart in his eyes. "I am ready to thank you. The only way I can," he said earnestly. "The only way I want. The only way I must."

Thor groaned. "You cannot be bringing up that tired subject again. You know what my answer is, what it always must be."

"I cannot help it, Thor," Loki answered with honest desperation on his face. "It has been heaven with you these last few days, and it will be hell for me when I am well and all alone again. Please don't tell me that is what's facing me. Only you can make the difference in my happiness. Let me stay with you, in your bed, and I will give you all the happiness I have been saving for you. For it is yours and yours alone."

Thor's face worked with the great battle within him. He needed to block his ears from hearing Loki's honeyed words. He had to stay with what he knew was best for them. "You know we cannot be anything more than friends and brothers. And you know why. So stop torturing us!"

"I don't care about rules and mandates and words chiseled from on high! I don't care about any of that! Not anymore! I don't even care about being a god! If that is what it will take to have you, so be it! I denounce my rights!" Loki declared with those damn tears smarting already in his eyes. Why did they always have to start at the worst times and frustrate him so?!

"What are saying?!" Thor was horrified by the sacrilege of Loki's words. "You cannot give that up! I will not allow you to do that! Not for me! Not for anyone!"

"It doesn't matter anymore. Don't you understand?! All I care about is you! And me! Together! As it was intended for us to be! Together! Always! And not just as brothers! I love you as a brother, Thor. But I love you this other way, too. I cannot help it. And I think that you cannot help it, either. Let's admit that we have feelings for each other. And then maybe we can appease this yearning inside us that haunts our eyes. Maybe then we can have peace."

A storm was building in Thor as he stared at Loki. His mouth worked, but he might have just been grinding his teeth because no words were coming out.

"I want it. With you," Loki continued. Tears sparkled in his eyes as they searched Thor's for any sign of compassion and consent. "I want you... with me." His lips tightened slightly. He wished he could moisten his lips, but knew it would do no good as he spoke aloud his fondest wish. "I want you. In me."

Thor's frown deepened as lightening struck somewhere deep inside him. He felt hot and cold all over, because he knew exactly what Loki was offering to give him. And he knew what it would mean if they gave into their desires.

"In me, Thor! Strong and straight and true! Now! So very, very much!" Loki whispered in a rush before he lost his nerve. "I ache for you with every fiber of my being."

There. He had said it. Now it was up to Thor to answer. How would Thor acknowledge those blatant pleas? Would he defy what had been mandated against? Or would he do what his heart wanted?

Because surely, surely somewhere in Thor must be some tenderness for Loki that went beyond brotherly love. Surely he felt this pull that obsessed Loki, too. If there was any justice in the universe, surely Thor would finally understand what Loki was trying to tell him.

Thor frowned as his fingers dug deeper into the tops of Loki's shoulders.

Loki winced and wondered if Thor's fingers would meet his thumbs despite Loki's bones and blood and sinews being in the road. Loki continued his desperate search of Thor's eyes for warmth. "I know I ask so much from you. I know it is wrong. But I also know that it has driven us, because we did not know how to handle our urges. It has compelled us to make bad choices, and we have known little peace because of it. But what if it wasn't wrong? What if we dared?" He tried to convey through his eyes and the sound of his voice that things could be alright. "We have been so many things to each other in the past, Brother. Some magnificent, some bad. Could it be possible that we could once just be good?" he asked softly.

Thor's eyes hardened. And then Loki understood. It was the same old problem. He wasn't good enough to be a god. He was not an equal to Thor. He never had been and never would be. So how could he possibly be good enough to have Thor?

The old familiar hollowness began hurting inside Loki once more. He had almost forgotten it, but now it was back. And he hurt worse than ever.

But he had to try, to apologize, to let Thor know that he knew it was himself that was the problem.

"I, I know it's a lot to ask, Thor. And I'll try to change. So that I'm worthy of you. I'll try to be what you need... and want. I, I, I don't really know how to go about doing that, though." The brimming tears were going to start sliding down Loki's cheeks at any moment now. And then Loki would suffer his final humiliation, because there was nothing that Loki could do to stop them.

But that wasn't his real concern. He was trying so desperately to find the right words to explain to Thor, to make him understand, to make him realize that even the impossible could be possible if they were both willing to try. That would be the real miracle. They just needed to trust that everything would be okay for them. If Thor would only overlook Loki's shortcomings.

Still, Thor was silent except for his blazing eyes that spoke of the thunderstorms raging inside him.

"Just tell me how I can be better. Please, Thor. Please." He frowned as he tilted his head and studied Thor with worry. "Are you alright? Will you just say something? Please? Do you need help? I will try to locate someone--" He started to push away so he could head for the door, but Thor's piercing fingers sank deeper yet into his shoulders. "Ouch! That hurts!" Then he saw Thor's angry face. "What's wrong? What have I done wrong now?"

Then Thor's face darkened into the deepest dusky red that Loki had ever seen, and it alarmed him. His eyes widened with concern. "Are you having some sort of attack?! Don't leave me, Thor! Don't leave me! I will be better! I promise I will! I'll do whatever it takes, only don't die! If my leaving is what will satisfy everyone and save you, that is what I will do. I'll go away and never return. You won't have to see me ever again. Only live! Please, please, live!" Tears were streaming down his face by now, but he did not care. Nothing mattered except that Thor would live. "Please!"

"Will you just... Shut?! Up?!" Thor finally roared. "Close that mouth and be still!"

"Huh?" Loki was at a loss for words. His eyes were bewildered as he stared at his brother. At least Loki knew how Thor was taking things. He was angry, too angry apparently to even speak coherently.

Then Thor apparently found his tongue because he proceeded to use it. "You are tearing my heart out! Why in the hell are you talking to me like that?! You are making me sound like the worst person who has ever lived! Ungrateful and unfeeling! And cavalier as hell!"

"Oh, no, that is not possible," Loki lisped softly. "For that honor belongs to me, solely to me. I have been a trial ever since we met, what with my blue skin and chronic constipation and frivolous nature. I have never been any good, but you... you have been perfect. And all I ever wanted was for you to love me and to know that I was there. Just a few crumbs of recognition was all I was asking. Just so I wouldn't feel so invisible and alone anymore."

"And what do you think I ever wanted for myself while you were being so neglected and so spat upon while you were growing up?!"

Loki got an ingratiating look on his face, because he knew how ungrateful he was going to sound. But it was the truth to him and showed how he had sometimes felt around his adoptive family.

"Well?!" Thor thundered and the very walls of the room shook. "What did you think I wanted?!"

"To be the sole possessor of your father's love?"

Thor sputtered and his face underwent the color display which it had done not so very long ago. "How can you even say that?! We made a home for you!"

"Yes, you did. You took in the orphan foundling who had nowhere else to go. There is no way I could ever pay you back that would be adequate, either."

Thor breathed deeply, as if his honor had been held up for ridicule. "No debt incurred. What was done for you, was done gladly."

"And yet I still am not grateful enough, am I?" Loki whispered as he searched Thor's eyes.

Thor flinched. To think that Loki had felt unworthy to be at Asgard for all this time! What could Thor say, what could he ever do to make Loki feel equal and wanted? It was so frustrating! If he but knew, he'd act on it and explain later.

"Nor shall I ever be grateful enough. Right... Brother?" Loki taunted lightly, yet all the pain he was obviously feeling reflected in his voice.

Thor exploded. "How can you even utter such words?!"

"Simple. I just open my mouth like this and begin to--"

And then Thor knew what he had to do to make Loki feel equal and wanted. He showed him.

For when Loki said the word "to," Thor grabbed him and pulled him into an openmouthed kiss. And Loki was just as surprised as Thor had been when Loki had once pulled the same trick on him.

Almost at once, Loki broke the kiss and turned away his head. "No, you cannot do this! Not for me!"

"Yes, for you," Thor murmured and began to nuzzle Loki's cheek with his rough beard. "Let me kiss you again. Let me take you. Make us both happy. I want you so much!"

Tears popped out in Loki's eyes. He wanted this so much, but he was afraid for Thor. He was afraid that Thor would lose his birthright. And Loki couldn't have that. He wouldn't let Thor make that kind of sacrifice. Not for him!

"No... no," Loki whispered. "We mustn't."

Thor grabbed Loki's head and held it so they were were staring into each other's eyes.

"I defy the gods," Thor told him. "I defy edicts. I defy mandates. Is it such a small price to pay for you?" he asked as he gently kissed one corner of Loki's mouth and then the other.

It would be so easy to give in!

They looked at each other again, then Thor grabbed him into a kiss that made the first one look mild by comparison. Loki hung on and kissed Thor back as the kiss deepened. Their hands explored places that they'd longed to touch, but had denied doing for so long. But no more! No more!

Time stood still. Or ceased to exist. And Loki didn't care. He didn't care! All he wanted was to be in these sweet arms forever!

The kiss deepened further and Loki hung on. After so long of waiting, he was enjoying this for all it was worth.

But even gods must come up for air eventually, and Thor finally broke the kiss so they could cling to each other and gasp. But the air was so pure! It smelled so good! It smelled like love!

Loki couldn't believe he was crying. Not after being kissed so thoroughly and so sweetly by Thor. And he couldn't believe that he had been kissed by Thor the way that a lover would. But he must have been, because his mouth felt bruised and was throbbing. And Thor was still busy planting soft kisses gently around Loki's face and being careful to avoid the bruised mouth.

"Don't. Not unless you mean it," Loki murmured just as a soft mouthing was applied in front of his left ear.

"I mean it," Thor answered.

The eyes of the young orphan child that Odin had once taken pity on and brought home with him looked out at his adoptive brother now. "I couldn't take it if you didn't mean it. I just couldn't."

"I meant it a moment ago and I mean it now," Thor reassured him. "I might lose my seat in Valhalla and my own rights to be a god, but I don't care as long as I get to have you with me now. I'm through fighting what you want. Because I want it, too."

Loki gasped. Thor was his!

"Loki, you said once that the old edicts were wrong and that when the time came, we'd find a way around them. Well, I know how. We'll just defy them. And that is that. This feeling between us is more powerful than any gods."

Loki searched Thor's eyes. "Are you absolutely certain about all of this? You will be giving up so much for me."

"How could I not?" Thor asked softly. "I lost my heart to you a long time ago. It's about time my head was catching up, don't you think? And the rest of my body, too?" He gave Loki a suggestive look. "I know one certain part that is aching something fierce for us to take the next step."

"Who am I then to deny a god and what he wants?" Loki asked as he leaned into Thor. "I want to help you to take care of that certain part of you that is aching something fierce."

Then Thor, that mighty god of thunder, pulled Loki against him again and into another kiss that should reassure Loki for all time of Thor's true feelings for him.

Only then did Loki throw his arms around Thor and hold on tightly to him. It was his further intention never to let go. But right now he would settle for being hugged. And being kissed, of course. Which Thor was doing a damn good job of doing, by the way!

And Loki was certain that it was okay with the powers that be. Because he had the god of thunder with him now, and all of their skies were looking sunny and bright for them. And he was certain that was what the songs of the minstrels would say about them in years to come, also.

At the time when giants were in the land and gods walked among men, there were two brothers who loved each other very much. But they did not know how to express it. Then they finally got it figured out and realized it had been a simple matter after all. All it had taken was trust, and sometimes that is the hardest thing to come by that there is. Kingdoms can be lost because of a lack of it. And lives. And most certainly, hearts.

But not Thor and Loki's. For now their hearts were beating as one.

And as far as anyone knows, they still do.