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Tony traces the edge of the tile with his worn-out sneaker, listening to the teacher drone on and on about room assignments. They had arrived at the Barcelona City Centre an hour ago, and there they were, a group of twenty high school students standing in the middle of the lounge, listening to their loud teacher tell them what they can and cannot do.
“The boys cannot be in the girls’ rooms and the girls cannot be in the boys’ rooms. And people, minimum PDA, please. Absolutely no inappropriate touching, especially sex,” Ms. Hill rattles, giving a stern eye to some of the couples. Tony snorts. It’s not like he’ll be having sex with anyone this week.
His gaze drifts off to Steve and Bucky. Speaking of sex. The two are sitting on one of the couches absolutely engrossed in one another. Bucky is leaning his head on Steve’s chest, laughing softly every so often. Steve’s running his hand through Bucky’s hair, ducking his head down to whisper something in Bucky’s ear whenever the teacher isn’t looking.
Tony bites the inside of his cheek, holding in a smile. The two of them are everything he wants. They are what he wants. He’ll never get them, though. Ignoring the fact that the two of them are, you know, together, Tony doesn’t meet any of their standards. Hell, he doesn’t meet anyone’s standards, let alone two of the hottest guys he has ever known.
Steve looks up at him, smirking. Steve whispers something to Bucky, not breaking his eye contact with Tony. Bucky glances over at Tony, turning back to look at Steve. They both break out in muffled laughter.
Tony looks down quickly, blushing furiously. It’s ridiculous to even think they could be interested in him, even platonically. They’re such amazing, funny people, and Tony’s just . . . Tony. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn’t have some big draw to him. He’s just boring old Tony.
“Natasha, Wanda, and Okoye, you three will be in Room 301,” Ms. Hill says, handing Natasha the room key. “Okay, now to the boys’ rooms. You all will be on the fourth floor, and Mr. Coulson will be staying in Room 432, so if anyone needs anything make sure to go to him. The first room will be Sam, Clint, and Scott. You three will be staying in Room 430. Next, Steve, Bucky, and Tony.”
Tony’s heart stops.
Steve, Bucky, and Tony.
Steve, Bucky, and Tony.
Steve, Bucky, and Tony.
Holy shit is the only thought running through Tony’s head. His feet are glued to the floor. He watches as Steve and Bucky grab their key and start moving towards the elevator.
“Tony, you comin’?” Bucky quirks his eyebrow up, smiling at Tony. Fuck. Bucky looks so good. Tony scrambles for his luggage, grabbing every bag haphazardly, before walking over to meet the two. Steve and Bucky are holding hands, waiting for the elevator to come. Tony pulls out his phone to avoid talking to them. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself more than he already has.
They make their way up to the room. Tony stands in the corner of the elevator, trying to ignore Steve and Bucky’s soft whispering. They’re talking about him. Tony knows they are. They’re talking about how stupid he is. How annoying he is. How they hate that they got roomed with him. How ugly he is. How he talks stupid. How he looks dumb. How he isn’t good enough. How he’s a failure. How he’ll never amount to anything. How he deserves to-
The elevator doors open with a ding; Tony stands up straight, not realizing he had been rocking against the wall on the ride up. Bucky and Steve walk out ahead of him, keeping their distance. Of course, they would want to keep their distance from Tony. Why would they want to be near him? Tony blinks hard, exhausted at this train of thought. Steve taps their card on the door, the lock opening with a click. The three boys file in.
“You’ve got to be fucking with me,” Steve groans, throwing his head back. He lets out a short burst of laughter, sharp and annoyed.
“What?” Bucky pushes ahead of Tony. Tony winces as Bucky pushes him into a wall, the edge of the bathroom door digging into his back. “Oh.” Tony peeks over Bucky’s shoulder.
There’s only one bed. Of course, of fucking course there’s only one bed. Tony is trapped in a room with the two hottest guys in the school, who happen to be together. And there’s only one bed. Of fucking course.
Tony grits his teeth. He wants to scream. This is like some shitty Wattpad fanfiction, except instead of him getting the guys at the end all he’s going to get is upset and a lot of back pain from sleeping on that stupid pull-out bed.
“Guys, it’s fine. They said all the rooms have pull-out couches. You guys can just sleep in that bed, and I’ll take the couch. ‘S no big deal, really,” Tony says, trying to move past the two. He pulls the couch cushions off of the couch, irritated at the feeling of the fabric.
There’s no wireframe for a pull-out beneath.
FUCK.
“There somthin’ wrong with it, doll?” Bucky quirks his eyebrow up at Tony. Tony’s face heats up as he tries (and fails) to avoid Bucky’s eyes.
“It’s just a normal couch. There’s no pull-out part to it.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Steve walks over to the couch. “You aren’t. Fuck.” Steve and Bucky look at each other for a second, Steve tilting his head towards the couch and then towards Tony. Tony looks down at the ground, his face turning a deeper shade of red.
“Steve, baby, ‘s fine. I’ll sleep on the couch-you and Tones can sleep on the bed,” Bucky says.
“Nu-uh, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch with your shoulder. You and Tony can take the bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch. Boom, problem solved.” Steve pulls his bag over to the couch. Bucky quirks his eyebrow up at Steve again.
“Babe, no. My shoulder’ll be fine. I don’t want ya to be uncomfortable.”
“Bucky. You aren’t sleepin’ on that couch with your arm like that. I can take the couch-”
“Guys,” Tony says softly. They both turn their heads to look at him. He feels a sharp wave of deja vu, as if he is five again and staring up at Edwin and Ana. “I can take the bed. You guys are-” Tony makes a vague hand movement, hoping they understand what he’s trying to tell them “and I don’t wanna make either of you uncomfortable by sleeping with the other. The couch will work fine for me. It’s only gonna be for a week, anyways. Really, no harm done by me sleeping there.”
Steve and Bucky share another look. Tony grits his teeth. He feels uncomfortably left out when they do that. He knows they have some freaky way of talking to each other without actually saying anything. He feels left out; he knows they are talking about him. Probably about how they don’t want to be near him. Or how upset they are that they got roomed with him and that one of them might have to sleep near him and that he’s disgusting and that they don’t like him and that they don’t want to be near him and that he’s such a-
“You sure that’s gonna be okay? Stevie doesn’t mind takin’ the couch, really,” Bucky says earnestly, looking Tony directly in the eyes. Tony looks down quickly, studying the pattern of the carpet.
“Yeah, ‘ll be fine, really.”
Tony distracts himself by pulling a book out of his bag. He definitely won’t be okay. His back is going to hurt like shit, and his chest is going to be extremely unforgiving. His hand moves up to trace the scars through his thin t-shirt. He winces slightly, the scars still sensitive. He knows he’s going to be in so much pain tomorrow.
Bucky and Steve set up their stuff, laughing and talking quietly. Tony busies himself, burying his nose in his book and acting like he isn’t hurt by how quickly they gave him the couch. They had spent so long fighting with each other over it, only to give the couch to Tony the second he said he would take it.
What could he have expected though? He was nothing, they were everything. He wasn’t good enough to be part of their relationship, let alone sleep in the same bed as them. They were probably just telling him they would do that to be nice to him. They definitely didn’t want to actually sleep in the same bed as him. That would be stupid. Why would they ever want to sleep in the same bed as him? Why would they even want to be around him?
Tony bit his lip, turning a page in his book. He could hear Bucky joke to Steve about something, most likely an inside joke that Tony didn’t get and would never get.
It doesn’t matter though. Tony will be completely fine. Completely and utterly fine.
-
Tony is not fine, he decides, staring at the red numbers on the clock. 5:12. He’s so sore, sleeping cramped up on the little couch. He rubs his hand against his shoulder in a pathetic attempt to dull some of the throbbing; it’s like his bones are falling out of his joints. He had to scrunch his entire body up to fit in it, his knees being forced against his chest while he pulled his arms in so they didn’t dangle off the edge.
He looks over at Steve and Bucky. The two are wrapped up in each other, the moonlight bouncing off of their skin. They are completely shirtless, the blanket pushed down around both of their hips as Bucky lays his head on Steve’s chest.
It’s quiet. The only sounds are the occasional car and Bucky’s soft breathing.
Tony likes when it’s like this-when it’s just him and the world. He lets himself look at the two for just a little longer, taking in the way Bucky’s metal arm wraps around Steve’s toned chest. They fit together like two puzzle pieces. Bucky’s tanned skin clashes beautifully with Steve’s pale chest.
Tony would be so out of place with them. With his scarred chest, awkward stretchmarks, and short stature, he’s nothing like them. It stings a little bit-to know how much they love each other and how little they will ever love him. It’s all his fault, really, for getting his hopes up. They will never love him.
Tony digs around in his bag for a bottle of painkillers. His chest is really, really hurting him. He knew sleeping on the stupid couch would be a bad idea. He presses his hand flat to his chest and starts rubbing softly. Fuck he’s hurting. He downs two pills dry.
“Tony, you doin’ okay?” Bucky says, his voice thick with sleep. Tony startles, turning back to look at the two. Bucky is propped up on his forearms, squinting in the dark to see Tony. Steve is still asleep.
“Uh-yeah, I’m doin’ fine,” Tony says. He clears his throat, quickly capping the pill bottle and throwing it back into his bag.
“Wha’ are you takin’ the pills for? ‘S your chest ‘urtin’ you?”
“It’s nothing, Bucky. I’m fine.”
“Did sleepin’ on the couch hurt you? Aw-I knew I shoulda slept there instead. Tonight you’re sleepin’ in our bed, okay? You don’t getta say in it, unless your uncomfy with that or somethin’.”
“I don’t wanna impose on you guys, though.”
“You’re not imposin’, doll. I invited you to sleep with us. I wouldn’t ‘ave if I didn’t want you ‘ere.” Bucky smiles at Tony. “Ok, I’m goin’ back go bed, Tony. You should, too.” Bucky yawns and rolls back over, tucking himself into Steve’s shoulder. Tony sits back down on the couch, watching as Bucky slowly starts to fall asleep.
Tony smiles. If only he could have that.
-
The day had been exhilarating, to say the least. They had split up into smaller groups, Tony being grouped with Steve, Bucky, Clint, and T’Challa, and explored the city on their own. It had been fun; they visited the Segrada Familia, spent a couple of hours in the Picasso Museum (courtesy of Steve), and visited multiple little bookstores, much to Tony and Bucky’s delight. It had been a really nice day.
That was until Clint decided to gamble half of his money away with a street artist, who then promptly closed up the show and got away from the group as quick as he could. Clint spent the rest of the day bitching and moaning about how much money he lost. Then, T’Challa jokingly suggested Clint should try to sneak into a Casino and win it all back.
It was a joke until Clint was being chased out of Casino Barcelona by security. Tony had watched as Clint ran down the crowded streets of Barcelona, way too tired to even try and intervene. Tony eventually ducked into a small cafe and curled up with a coffee and his book, waiting until the rest of the group came and got him.
Tony flops down onto the bed, letting out a loud sigh. He curls up on the edge, making sure to leave ample room for Steve and Bucky. Tony tucks his hands under the pillow, listening to Steve and Bucky talk in the bathroom. Tony hears the shower start at some point, but he’s too tired to really think too hard about anything. Tony dozes off, only to be awoken by the bed dipping down next to him.
“Sorry,” Steve says, smiling at Tony as he pulls himself under the covers. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.” Tony just grunts, closing his eyes and nuzzling back into the pillow. Steve lets out a small laugh, and Tony blushes a soft red. He opens his eyes and watches as Bucky climbs into bed next to Steve, cuddling into his side. Bucky makes eye contact with Tony and winks. Tony blushes again.
Tony listens to Steve and Bucky’s breathing. The both of them are still talking, voices soft and sweet. Tony isn’t really listening to what they’re saying, catching bits and pieces of words every now and then. Before he knows it, Tony is passed out, curled on the very edge of the bed.
-
When Tony wakes up, he is warm. Warm and comfortable. He buries his face into the covers, pressing his face into his pillow. His pillow smells really fucking good. Like oak and sandalwood and summer. Like Steve. Steve. Steve!
Tony jolts up, only to be forced back down by Steve’s muscular arm wrapped around his shoulders. Tony is facing Steve’s chest, his entire body turned to cuddle Tony. Steve is holding Tony tight to him; Tony’s face is sitting right under his collarbone.
Shit, shit, shit shit, shit-
Steve grumbles, pulling Tony tighter to his chest.
“Bucky” he whines. Shit! Tony gently takes Steve’s arms off of him. He slides out of the bed quietly, before locking himself in the bathroom. Tony treads his hands through his hair. Steve thought he was cuddling with Bucky, instead, he was cuddling with Tony. Tony is going to ruin their relationship.
He got ahead of himself even thinking he should be with Steve and Bucky. But now, to go into their relationship and pretend as though he belongs to be anywhere near him? Tony is crossing every line in the fucking book. He’s going to ruin their relationship because he’s a selfish bastard. A stupid, selfish bastard.
It was dumb of him to even think Steve and Bucky were going to like him. Bucky invited him to sleep in their bed out of the kindness of his own damn heart, and of course Tony had to go and ruin it. Bucky never intended for Tony to try and steal his boyfriend. Tony is going to ruin their relationship because he can’t keep his stupid hands to himself.
He should have just stayed on the couch. Tony sits down in the bathtub and buries his head in his hands. He feels nauseous.
He’s so stupid. So, so stupid.
-
Tony sits on the very edge of the bed, thumbing through his book. The rest of the day had been pretty uneventful, though he had spent most of it with his stomach churning in embarrassment for both cuddling Steve and overreacting about cuddling Steve. They had stopped at a few different thrift stores and museums, but other than that, they had just spent the day hanging out with each other.
Steve and Bucky climb into bed next to Tony. Tony starts to get up, only to be grabbed by Steve.
“Where are you going, Tony?” Steve asks. His eyebrows are laced together.
“Relax, punk, he’s probably just goin’ to the bathroom,” Bucky shakes his head at Steve, punching him lightly on the shoulder.
“Um-actually I think I’m going to sleep on the couch,” Tony says, motioning to the side of the room. He rubs his neck.
“Didn’t that hurt your chest last time?” Bucky quirks his eyebrow.
“I’ll-I’ll be fine, seriously.”
“Did we do something?” Steve asks, his eyes wide. “Did we make you uncomfortable or something?” Tony pushes down a sour feeling that threatens in his stomach.
“Yeah,” Bucky adds. “Steve is the biggest fucking cuddler in the entire world and can and will grab on to anything near him. If he made you uncomfortable or somethin’, Stevie and I can just switch places, really. I don’t want your chest hurtin’ you tomorrow.” Bucky stares at Tony. Tony ducks his head down and blushes. Tony cracks his knuckles and clears his throat.
“Um-yeah. Steve did cuddle me. I don’t want to make either of you feel uncomfortable or anything, so I think it would just be better if I didn’t sleep in the same bed.”
“Tony, please don’t sleep on the couch. I really, really don’t want you hurting yourself. I’ll just switch spots with Bucky-I promise you Bucky isn’t as big of a cuddler as I am. Really. If you still feel uncomfortable tomorrow then sleep on the couch. But I want to find a way where we can all sleep in this one bed without someone having to sacrifice something,” Steve pleads. He’s holding his hands together, staring at Tony with those big puppy-dog eyes. Tony throws his hands up in defeat.
“Ok-fine.”
Steve smiles at him, his grin a hundred miles long and bright enough to blind Tony. He shuffles around Bucky, now sitting on the other edge of the bed. Tony pulls himself under the covers, sighing.
“I toldya I should’ve slept next to Tony, Steve,” Bucky says, laughing. “But no, you just had to sleep nexta him, you big lug,” Steve murmurs something, pushing Bucky softly.
Tony’s heart stops. Steve had to sleep next to him? Why? Did Bucky not want to sleep next to him originally? Tony knows he is reading too far into this, but to hear that Steve wanted to sleep next to him makes him really, inexplicably happy. Tony turns around to face the wall, smiling softly. Steve wanted to sleep next to him. Steve wanted to sleep next to him.
Tony cuddles around the edge of the blanket, his heart doing a happy pitter-patter. He’s so fucking happy.
-
Bucky pulls Tony tighter to his chest, tucking Tony’s head under his chin.
“Dude,” Steve whispers, careful not to wake Tony up. “Didn’t you suggest we switch spots because Tony got uncomfortable with me cuddling him?” Steve glares at Bucky.
“Stevie-I just wanted to cuddle him for a little. He won’t wake up-I promise,” Bucky says, maneuvering himself so he was facing Steve while still holding on to Tony. Tony nuzzles himself deeper into Bucky’s chest.
“You’re going to make him uncomfortable. He obviously doesn’t like us-we just need to drop this idea that he will want to date us.” Bucky looks down, staring at the top of Tony’s head. They both know Tony’s not into them: from the way he reacted to Bucky’s flirting, to the way he reacted when they shared a bed last night.
“I know-I know. I just-listen, he won’t wake up. I promise. I just wanna hold him for a second.” Bucky looks up at Steve, a pleading expression on his face. “I-I don’t know Stevie. I just wish he was ours.”
“Fine, but if he wakes up you’re the one who is going to have to do the talking.” Bucky hums in agreement, hugging Tony closer to his body. Steve scoots up to be behind Tony, wrapping an arm around Tony’s stomach. “Love you, Buck.”
“Love you too, Stevie.”
-
Tony wakes up hot. He’s so unbearably warm he can barely breathe.
When he finally gets his bearings, he realizes he’s been squashed between Steve and Bucky. Bucky is holding on to him for dear life, and Steve has a heavy arm wrapped around Tony (not unlike the first night). Shit. Tony needs to get out before either of them wakes up. They can’t know they were cuddling Tony instead of each other.
Tony gently pushes Steve’s arm off of him. He tries to wiggle slightly out of Bucky’s grasp, pushing back against his hands in hopes that Bucky will let go of him-
“Tony, where are ya goin’?” Bucky’s groggy voice rings out next to Tony. Tony cringes.
“Bucky, I need to get out.”
“N-o,” he whines. “Wanna cuddle with you for a little longer.”
Tony’s heart is beating fast. He’s going to ruin their relationship, all because he wanted to cuddle with Bucky. Steve is going to wake up and be so upset-so, so upset.
“Bucky, let me go. Steve’s gonna be mad when he sees you cuddling me,” Tony pleads. Bucky sits up on his forearms, yawning.
“Why would I be mad?” Steve’s sleep-ridden voice comes from behind Tony. Tony’s heart drops. Steve’s going to be so mad at Tony. Tony’s going to ruin their relationship. It’s all going to be his fault.
“I’m sorry Steve, really-I didn’t mean to cuddle with Bucky, I’m sorry-It’s not his fault, so don’t be mad at him, be mad at me-” Tony’s spewing words like vomit, unable to stop himself.
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“Because I’m ruining your relationship! Bucky said he wanted to cuddle with me for longer, but he shouldn’t be holding me, he should be holding you! And I liked him holding me because I like you guys-and not just like, I mean like-like, which I know is so wrong because you guys are together, and I’m nothing compared to either of you so why would you even like me!” Tony cries out. He’s biting his bottom lip, face screwed up. “What the fuck, Tony.” Tony can’t actually tell which one of them said it. As he swallows, it feels like waves are crashing against his ears. It’s all too much.
Bucky and Steve look at each other. Bucky nods his head over to Tony, then back to Steve. Steve raises his eyebrow, mouthing something to Bucky. Bucky nods back at him. This is it. Tony has officially ruined their relationship. This is it. They are breaking up with each other because Tony was stupid and selfish and-
“Tony, we-uh-we like you,” Steve says.
“What?”
“We like you, dumbass,” Bucky confirms.
“Is this a joke? Because it’s not funny-really it’s not.”
“We aren’t kidding, Tony. We’ve liked you for a really long time.” Steve ducks his head, the edge of his ears turning a soft pink.
“I must be dreaming. I must be. How could you two possibly like me?” Tony throws his head back and lets out a harsh laugh. It sounds more like a yelp.
“I don’t know, Tony,” Steve says. “But you’re funny, cute, beautiful, so damn smart-You’re perfect. And we’ve wanted you for so long-but we were scared we would ruin our relationship with you. We didn’t think you liked us back.” Steve shrugs, twisting a chunk of hair at the nape of his neck.
“You’re exactly what we’ve wanted, doll. If you don’t feel the same that’s absolutely fine-”
“No, I like you too. I like you a lot. I just-why do you like me? I’m nothing special,” Tony says.
“You’re you. And that's good enough for the both of us.” Bucky smiles at Steve. Tony looks between them, before giggling. Bucky quirks his eyebrow up at Tony. “What?”
“That was really cheesy, Bucky.” Tony bites his lip and looks down.
“It was pretty bad, Buck,” Steve snorts. Tony and Steve look at each other. They both look back at Bucky and start laughing. Tony falls back on the bed and sighs.
“What was that big huff about Tones?” Bucky pokes his side, falling down next to him.
“I just-I never thought that this would be an option for me. Like I always thought I would just have to watch you guys from a distance, and that I would really never be a part of something like this,” Tony mutters. He shrugs, tracing a pattern on Bucky’s shirt.
“Well, now you are. We’re here for you, baby,” Steve pulls Tony back to his chest, tucking Tony’s head beneath his chin. Tony burrows back, bathing in the warmth of Steve and Bucky.
“Hey, we have about two more hours until we actually need to be up. Why don’t we go back to bed?” Bucky says. “I really want to cuddle you-this time for real.”
Tony and Steve hum in agreement, moving to let Bucky scoot next to Tony. Tony sighs in contentment.
He’s never been happier, he thinks, feeling Bucky’s chest rise and fall against his.
He really hasn’t.