Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Castiel is human and living in the bunker this time around. Given his own room to sleep, he starts getting nightmares from all that he had done and seen as an angel. All he wants is comfort.

Dean was hanging out in his room. He couldn't sleep, so why waste his time trying? He was playing on his phone instead.

Castiel woke up and sat up with a start, eyes wide instantly as he looks around panicky. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as his eyes darted around the room. It took him several moments to let out a relieved sigh, but his breath was still coming out quick. He laid back down in the sweat covered sheets and pulled the blanket over himself tightly, trying to calm down.

There was so much... so much blood and pain and violence that his brain couldn't comprehend. To many pictures of memories of wars and failures. There was just too much...

It's been a week, maybe more, since Castiel was living in the bunker. But even more time before that when he turned human. Most nights, between finding a place to rest and being on lookout for angels, Castiel would get nightmares. Sometimes he fought them off, but the idea of sleeping wasn't pleasant in his mind. He was always alone where no one could help him.

But now, a week after being safe. Being home. The place that had been his happy place whenever he had a bad dream. Not just the place but the people, his family. Family.

Dean.

It took Castiel a few more minutes to sit back up again and wiped his eyes, crawling out from under the covers tiredly. Exhausted. Wearing a light t-shirt and sweatpants but stumbled to change out of the damp shirt. Then grabbing one of the pillows and opening his door, Castiel walked down the halls of the Men of Letters bunker to Dean's bedroom. He’s heard of children going to their parents' room after a nightmare and it seemed like a good option. And Dean wouldn’t turn him away… he hoped.

Dean looked up at a quiet, timid knock on his door. That wasn't Sam, Sam knocked louder. Firmer. This... Seemed scared.

He doubted it was Cas. Cas never came to him when he was in his room. Confused, he stood up, grabbing a gun that was on the underside of his desk and opening it. He frowned in confusion and set the gone-on top of the desk. "Cas?" He looked awful. Exhausted, like he hadn't slept at all.

Castiel was shaking from the slight cold of the hall and had his arms tight around the pillow. Castiel wouldn't have done this, bother Dean at this time of night or with this issue. But he'd always been there for him, so maybe...

"Had a nightmare," Castiel murmured, sure the stains on his cheeks were visible from the lamp on in Dean's room.

Dean blinked. Cas had a... nightmare? But he always seemed so put together, Dean never would have expected... except he was human now. So, things were different. "Alright, come in," Dean ushered him into the room. "I'm gonna grab you some water, then we'll talk about it, okay? Sometimes that helps. Do you get nightmares often?"

Castiel followed his invitation and sat on the edge of the bed. "Since Metatron took my grace," Castiel said in a similar quiet voice, his chin resting on the pillow close to his chest. This was pathetic, but he couldn't do anything about it.

"Cas- That was almost months ago," Dean frowned as he grabbed a water bottle. "Why haven't you said anything?" He uncapped the bottle and handed it to Cas, watching to check if his hands shook.

Castiel didn't reply right away but instead took the water bottle from Dean a little unsteady but still drank some. The cold liquid felt good and calming in a way, his body having drained out from sweating and crying.

"Not used to someone being there. To go to,” Castiel said when he pulled it away from his lips and held the plastic bottle.

"Well... I'm here," Dean replied awkwardly. "Uh, if you're up to talking about it... What was the nightmare about?"

Castiel showed him a grateful smile but looked down a bit. "Memories mainly. Being an angel... I lived through and saw a lot."

Dean grimaced. "That's gotta suck. There's a lot up there isn't there?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Lot of bad. Things an angel's mind wouldn't have a problem with."

Dean looked at his friend with concern. "But now that you're human..."

Castiel bit his lip. "Not so great."

Dean sighed softly. "Wait here, I'll be right back." He got up and left the room.

Castiel watched Dean leave before looking around the room. There were guns and knives and other weapons on the walls, but Castiel felt safe. The room felt safe, and his head dropped a little onto the pillow on his lap as he was sitting slightly slouched over.

Dean soon came back, carrying a grocery bag. "I've had this hidden in the Impala," he explained. "So, Sam didn't find it." He sat next to Cas and pulled out a bar of dark chocolate. "You wanna try it? Sometimes something sweet helps me calm down after a bad dream."

Castiel looked over at him, then the bar. "Sure." He took it from Dean's hand and just looked at it before unwrapping it. "Haven't had many sweets yet," he murmured.

"Gotta fix that," Dean replied softly. "I'll take you out for ice cream or something tomorrow, if you're up for it."

"That sounds nice," Castiel agreed softly, the idea chasing away some of the bad memories. He then took a bite of the chocolate. It was kind of hard and broke off with a soft crack but started chewing it, melting slowly in his mouth. "Mm."

"You like it?" Dean asked.

"Mhm, yeah," Castiel nodded, swallowing. It was sweet but not too much. Made sense if that's where the 'dark' part came in.

"Good.” Suddenly Dean was nervous. "Hey, uh... if you don't want to go sleep on your own... you can stay here."

Castiel looked up from the bar and at Dean for a moment. "You'd let me stay?" He asked uncertain.

"Well..." Dean looked away sheepishly. "I know how rattled nightmares can make someone... I wouldn’t want to be alone right now, so why would I force you to be?"

Castiel was quiet for a bit. He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable with the situation, but he had offered it. And if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to be alone right now. "I'd like to stay," he said, the pillow he brought still with him. He hadn't completely thought it through or why he took it, but maybe Castiel had already been hoping he could sleep here.

"Alright," Dean smiled. "We can stay awake as long as you want. I wasn't getting to sleep anytime soon anyways, so..."

"What else do you have?" Castiel asked, looking down at the grocery bag Dean had.

"Well, there's this," Dean pulled out a bottle of coca cola. "But it has caffeine so if you want to sleep, you have to wait.

"I'd prefer not to sleep, though I probably should," Castiel said and took another bite of the chocolate.

"Fair choice," Dean nodded. "You thinking you might try after you finish the chocolate or wait a little longer?"

"Depends," Castiel mumbled before he swallowed. He felt better near Dean. It was helping easing a slope to drowsiness that he needed. Castiel hadn't had a proper night's rest in too long for a human. But he still had some chocolate left.

"On?" Dean raised a brow.

"Whether I pass out," Castiel told him, eye lids feeling heavy. "Been a while... might fall asleep the moment I lay down."

"Hey, okay," Dean laughed slightly at his friend's fatigue. He gently edged the rest of the candy from his hand and dropped it on the bedside table. "Let's get you laying down, yeah?”

"Bad dreams," Castiel whispered, half burying his face in the while pillow.

"I'll protect you," Dean promised without thinking about the words he just said. Cas was so different from the stoic and emotionless angel he had been before the fall. Seeming so fragile and Dean just wanted to keep him safe. "Come on, you look about ready to pass out now anyways."

It was true. Castiel was about to start having trouble keeping his eyes open. But if he closed them, he just saw all the bad and horrible from his life. But the 'I'll protect you', calms him down for some reason.

“Alright,” Castiel agreed.

Dean smiled affectionately. "There ya go. Come on, lay down, alright?" He tried to guide Cas to lay down, to put his head down.

Castiel nodded and slide back a bit on the bed following Dean. He laid down on the pillow and moments later he was lights out.

Dean shook his head lightly and his smile fell as he looked at his friend. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept. Even now, he didn't seem to be at peace. He found a blanket - Cas was laying on most of them - and laid it over his friend before getting under the portion of his covers that Cas wasn't on. But that felt wrong, so he wiggled out and, in a quick, irrational, not thinking decision, he got under Cas' blanket and pulled him close.

Wow. This was... just two friends, Dean told himself. Just two friends in one bed. He needs it. Dean tried to ignore the heat in his face, the fact that he'd been dreaming of something similar to this happening. It wouldn't last, he knew. Just for tonight. So just for tonight, Dean pulled Cas close, buried his nose in his hair to memorize his scent, and pretended that this would continue past this night.

Cas seemed to cure his inability to fall asleep as, hardly any time later, he slipped off to sleep.

Castiel's dreams had come back, starting unpleasant slowly. Looks on people's face, other angels' faces. The terror and hatred and fear from whatever was happening. Castiel couldn't concentrate on any of it, couldn't think straight.

But then it started seeping away. The pain, the anger, it melted off and in replace was a version of tomorrow. Getting ice cream with Dean, taking a walk, clearing his head and just being there with just him.

In the real world, Cas had a few tears running down his face again. But leaned forward on his side and cuddled closer to the man next to him.

‘Protect me please…’

Chapter Text

Dean yawned as he woke up. Something felt ... Not right. He opened his eyes and blinked in surprise. Not only was the light still on, but Cas was in his bed. Cuddled up in Dean's arms. The two were pressed together, under the same blanket, legs tangled. Dean almost pushed Cas away, but even in sleep he looked upset. Unhappy. Then, finally, his memory of the night before came back to him.

Cas was still here because he had nightmares.

Dean couldn't deny that he liked this. That he... wanted this. So, instead of pushing Cas away, he pulled him closer and closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep.

Castiel reacted by doing the same. He wasn't quite awake yet, but the comfort was soothing. Not something he had often.

Dean sighed and hummed softly. His nose was near Cas' hair - what soap was he using? He smelled like... thunderstorms and wind, was the best way for Dean to describe. And chocolate.

Castiel made a soft, happy sound in the between sleep and waking up.

Dean found that it had been too long since he'd had someone in his arms. From the safe, secure comfort, he was already starting to relax, drift back to sleep.
- - - - - - - -
It was a while later, maybe an hour or so, when Castiel started to stir. He felt safe and held, something that made him feel like he was dreaming. But then he squinted his eyes open and was faced with a chest he recognized.

Dean.

Castiel wasn't fully awake yet, but he could think enough. Or maybe not at all because he just leaned back in.

Dean had fallen pretty much back to sleep but when Cas pulled back to see who he was, he mumbled and pulled him closer, securing his arm around him.

For once, Castiel was happy to never get up. For the dream in reality to never stop. To just sleep.

Unfortunately, as everything is, Dean had to wake up. This wasn't without a fight, though, as he pulled Cas close, burying his face in Cas' hair, mumbling quietly.

Castiel in the hold started drifting off more again. Back to the land of sleep, one he had actually enjoyed for once.
- - - - -
Dean groaned and finally woke up with a yawn. Actually, woke up this time and, similarly to earlier, he froze when he saw Cas.

The human-angel was perfectly still in front of Dean, besides his chest breathing. His raven hair had been messed up do to sleep and because of Dean’s movement. The only thing else that was different was that Cas looked calm, but also had bags under his eyes from crying and lack of sleep.

Dean carefully extracted himself from Cas - not because he wanted to, but because he really needed to pee.

"Nooo," Castiel whined at the loss, dragging it out. "Come back," he mumbled but laid his head on the arm that had been under Dean.

"I gotta piss," Dean hissed, hurrying off to the bathroom. He didn't come back immediately, instead staring at himself in the mirror. What was he doing!? He didn't like dudes!

...Did he?

Castiel had stayed as he was while Dean left to what he guessed was the bathroom. He was tip-toeing the line of sleep, and one tip to either side wouldn't be pleasant for either him or Dean.

Dean eventually came back, forcing himself to calm down. He was pretty sure he didn't like dudes. Just Cas. But Cas wasn't really a guy, was he? Just trapped in a male body.

Castiel heard footsteps again but didn't move. So comfy, warm, but bright from the lamp still on.

Dean paused at the edge of the bed. He wasn't sure he wanted to wake Cas up, he looked like he'd fallen back asleep. Not positive, but... but he also looked comfortable. And peaceful. And Dean couldn't forget how right it felt with him in his arms.

"Your staring," Castiel mumbled again and turned his face out of the lamp's radius.

Dean felt his face heat up. "Well, then... scoot over. You took up most of the bed," he tried to excuse it.

"Fine." And Castiel rolled over. He didn’t want to get up anytime soon. And the company wouldn't be denied.

Dean crawled back into bed, trying to ignore the way his heart was pounding. It was just Cas! Why was he freaking out so bad!?

There was something calming about having someone with him when he slept. Castiel didn’t care how close Dean got.

Dean very slowly, tentatively, drew closer to Cas. Then, slowly, slowly put an arm around him.

Castiel tiredly lifted his arm off his side when Dean wrapped his arm around his torso.

Dean's breath shortened. Cas wasn't protesting!? "Is... this, okay?" He asked softly. Yeah, they'd just been cuddling together but that was when they were asleep. Not the same.

"Comfy," Castiel confirmed and nestled his head against the pillow.

Encouraged by this, Dean shifting closer to Cas until he was practically hugging him as close as he had when he woke up

"So tired." Castiel's voice was just a breath before it was evened out once again. He could sleep. No fear.

"Then go to sleep," Dean smiled, running a hand through Cas' hair. He had to be exhausted, if he'd been having nightmares for around a month. Dean was going to let him sleep as much as he wanted.
- - - - - -
Castiel slept for he doesn’t know how long, but he felt just as tired when he woke up again. A little more aware, but not wanting to get up. Castiel felt a breath in the back if his neck and opens his eyes a little to see an arm around him. He panics for a moment before he remembers last night and relaxes again. It’s ok.

Dean had eventually fallen back asleep, the peace of Cas sleeping getting to him. When the former angel stirred, however, it brought him back to consciousness. "Hey," Dean mumbled, voice rough from sleep

"Mhm," Castiel hummed and said in a similar voice. "Morning."

"How'd you sleep?" Dean asked.

"I did sleep," Castiel said happily. "So, it was wonderful."

"Yeah? Good. Feeling better then?" Dean didn't move from their position. He liked being so close to Cas. Who knew?

"A little," Castiel muttered, eyes still closed and enjoying the bed. "Thank you."

"Well... of course," Dean replied softly.

"Didn’t have to," Castiel told him tiredly. "Means a lot."

"Well... you're my friend, Cas. You mean a lot." Dean checked the alarm clock. "And it's noon, we need to get up. I promised you ice cream, remember?"

The idea was tempting. But his body had been lying down relaxed for longer than it usually did. "No," Castiel refused.

Dean propped himself up on his elbow. "Cas," he chuckled. "Sam'll come looking for us, wondering why neither of us is awake. He'll go to your room, panic that you aren't here, then come bursting into here and then you'll have to get up." And find them in the same bed, which would lead to many questions Dean didn't really want to be asked.

"That hasn’t happened yet," Castiel pointed out. "Don’t have to get."

"But you will." This was amusing. Castiel, angel of the Lord, was not a morning (afternoon) person.

"Noooo," Castiel protested and put his face in the pillow.

Dean laughed softly and ran his hand through Cas' hair. "Well, even if you don't get up, I have to."

Castiel made another noise of disappointment. "Have to?"

"Have to," Dean grinned. "And hey, maybe if you get up soon, there might be coffee waiting for you," Already, Cas's love for the drink had become evident within the week he'd been back.

Castiel moved his head to the side and glared up at Dean. "I hate you."

"Oh, well people that hate me don't get coffee," Dean smirked.

Castiel glared harder before sighing 'assbutt' and willing his body to sit up. The promise of coffee was too good to let pass.

"Cas, awake and sitting up?" Dean gasped. "Whoaaaa!"

"Shut up," Castiel told him in an annoyed tone and threw a pillow at him. It was too early for this... no matter what time it was.

"Well, if you're gonna act like that..." Dean trailed off, leaving his threat unsaid.

"If you take away my coffee, I swear I will only get worse," Castiel told him and pulled off the covers to stand up.

Dean laughed as he got up. "Grumpy, I see."

"I used to be extremely old. I can be as grumpy as I want." Castiel shot back and stood up stretching.

"Cranky, old man?" Dean smirked.

"Right now, we are about the same age... I think. I don’t remember how old Jimmy was,” Castiel thought.

Dean poked Cas' side. "You're still old."

Castiel stifled a laugh at the poke but then looked at Dean wide eyed. Oh no and sprinted to and out the door no matter how tired he had been moments before. No way that was happening.

"Hold up - where are you going!?" Dean sprinted after Cas, catching on to what that was.

"Don't do that." Castiel turned around and pointed at Dean. He didn't realize Jimmy was ticklish.

"Don't do what? This?" Dean asked as he caught up and started poking him again.

"S-stop it," Castiel said, pulling away with a flat grin stopping any other noise.

"Oh, you don't like this?" Dean kept poking, laughing quietly.

A few chuckles got passed Castiel and just gave up talking, trying to push at Dean.

"Are you actually ticklish now?" Dean asked, dodging Cas' shoves and poking

"J-Jimmy," Castiel got out before a laugh.

"So, you're just ticklish because of Jimmy?" In Cas's distraction, Dean had managed to get an arm around Cas's torso and arms, tickling his side with his free hand

"Haha- D-Dea- haha." Castiel couldn’t speak and just squirmed trapped.

Dean burst into laughter as he mercilessly tickled the squirming Castiel.

"L’leh me g-gah-ha-ha," Castiel tried telling him, but it probably wasn't understandable.

"What was that?" Dean didn't understand the words, but he figured out their meaning. "I can't understand you, Cas! You gotta speak clearly!"

Cas was still struggling to get out and if Dean had learned anything from tickling Sam, it was that by now, it would be difficult for him to stand, so Dean felt safe enough to let go of him to attack both sides to draw out laughter. Dean loved hearing Castiel laugh. He hadn't laughed enough.

This was torture! Castiel couldn't move enough to get away, just focusing on not falling while trying to get Dean to stop was difficult. The pokes found something in his skin that triggered a funny feeling Castiel didn't realize till now that he had.

Dean didn't really care that they'd stopped in the middle of a hallway, or the Cas was pressed up close to him as he tickled the guy. Dean was having way too much fun with this. Cas was ticklish!

"C-coffee," Castiel said as a way out.

"Coffee may have to wait," Dean grinned

"Nooo," Castiel pleaded through a laugh, trying a little more to get out, instead trying to make Dean go off balance or lose grip.

Dean just shook with more laughter as he tickled Cas harder

Castiel was done for. He was finished. This would be how he dies, by the hands of Dean Winchester. Castiel's laughs were echoing, and tears started coming to his eyes because of them.

Dean relentlessly tickled Cas, not letting up, hardly giving him enough time to catch his breath before continuing.

Castiel kept laughing, then breathing in for a moment, and letting it out hard in a laugh. His body didn't realize the lack of air, but Castiel's brain began to panic. "-aha- D-dean, pl- ahah- please."

Dean tugged Cas closer to him, arms wrapped tight so he couldn't escape, but paused in his tickling to let him breathe. "Please what?"

Castiel didn't talk but instead tried to get back what breath he was losing and calm down. He wasn't used to needing oxygen and the effects of not having it.

Dean released Cas, finally stopping the ticklish torture.

Castiel walked away a bit and leaned against the wall. His breathing getting steadier, but his throat hurt.

Dean's amusement turned to concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Castiel waved a hand in his direction. "Yeah, just getting used to needing air still."

"Oh - Sorry," Dean winced.

"You're fine," Castiel said, pushing off the wall. "Woke me the hell up, but fine."

"Well, you still wanna go out, coffee?" Dean grinned.

"I deserve a coffee at this point," Castiel said, leaving for the kitchen.

Dean waited a second before following. ‘At this point, you always deserve coffee,’ he thought to himself.

Castiel had learned how to make coffee from watching the Winchesters before and then when he came back as a human. Usually, he liked it fresh but took some from the pot already made, thanking Sam silently. There was a note beside it, but Castiel didn't bother to read it, just put the pot back and his mug of cold coffee in the microwave.

Dean came into the kitchen just as Cas started the microwave and found a mug to pour the last of the coffee in.

Castiel watched him before hearing the 'ding' and took the mug out, now warm. He left to the fridge and to find his creamer.

"Hey, what's this?" Dean noticed the note and picked it up. "Oh, Sam's out at the store. Explains why he never showed up."

"That would make sense," Castiel commented and shut the door, going to the counter with his mug and creamer. "Got to sleep more," he said to himself and again, silently thanked the younger Winchester.

"You've been sleeping plenty, haven't you?" Dean asked, momentarily forgetting that Cas had said he had lots of bad nightmares.

"Not much, no," Castiel told him, mixing the drink till it was a tan-ish color. "Three or four a night? At most? A nap occasionally during the day since they aren't as bad then."

"Three or fo- oh." Dean looked down. "Well... how were they after you came to my room?"

"Better," Castiel said. "A lot better. Had it a little after I fell asleep and a few gaps of memories, but the dreams were better."

"Yeah?" Dean was suddenly nervous. "Well... if you ... if you want, you could stay another night. To uh, to keep the nightmares.... better."

"I'd appreciate the offer, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Castiel said. Dean wasn't into guys, at least from what he's said. Lying in bed with a guy probably was the last thing Dean wanted to have to do. Though the idea and the morning wake up was good to Castiel.

"Well, it doesn't do you any good if you aren't sleeping from nightmares," Dean argued slightly. "Believe me, after a while of that, you start to feel like pure shit."

Castiel looked up from his coffee and at Dean for a moment. "I'll think about it."

Dean nodded. That's all he could ask.

Castiel nodded back and sipped on his coffee, helping wake him up in a way laughing didn't.

The two finished their coffee in comfortable silence, Dean thinking about what they would do for the rest of the day.

Castiel, being who he was becoming, put his mug in the sink to be washed. "Anything for food? I don't think Sam made anything."

"You wanna go somewhere? I don't really feel like making anything," Dean admitted.

"You have a place in mind?" Castiel asked.

"There's a diner in town, if you want to go," Dean offered.

"Sure. I just need to change first." Castiel was still in sweatpants and the light t-shirt from last night.

"Same." Dean was wearing a similar outfit.

"Meet at the car in 10? I think I'm going to shower too." Castiel didn't smell, but a shower would be good after the beginning of last night.

"Works," Dean nodded, going over to his room to get changed then going to the garage, spinning the keys around his finger.

Showers were something that Castiel enjoyed usually and liked taking his time but took a quick one this time. Getting dressed in a thicker shirt and jeans, he left his room to the garage.

Dean looked up when he saw Cas coming over. Then frowned. "You didn't grab your coat," he noticed.

"I don't have it anymore," Castiel told him confused.

"Wait, what?" How had Dean not realized that?

"A little bit after I was human, I didn’t have it." That wasn't the story of how he doesn't have it though. That was different.

"Oh..." Dean mumbled.

"Yeah," Castiel repeated again before going for the passenger seat. "Got bloody and couldn't get it cleaned."

Dean looked over at Cas before starting the car, deciding silently that he would find Cas a new coat.

"Money is strange sometimes," Castiel stated. "How a green cloth paper controls what happens and who has more power. Being more important than a food or water."

Dean shrugged. "I personally don't agree with it. Give people what they need."

Castiel nodded agreeing, looking out the window.

Dean drive to the diner and parked. "Any idea what you're in the mood for?"

"Not sure." Castiel wasn't familiar with the place, so he didn't know what they had.

"That's fine, they have menus," Dean turned the car off and got out.

Castiel got out after him and followed into the building. It wasn't very busy, it being after lunch time, and they found a table for two. "Do you know what you're getting? Or have a recommendation?"

"Probably a burger," Dean replied. "And fries. This place is pretty good."

That does sound good. "I'll try them."

"Awesome," Dean replied. "They're really good."

"I'll have to take your word for it then," Castiel told him and set his menu down. He didn't think he'd get a drink since he already had coffee an hour ago, so he just waited for a waiter/waitress to come take their order.

Dean ordered a Coke with his meal, smiling at the waitress and perhaps flirting a bit. Not as much as usual, but still. It was habit by now.

There were many new things that Castiel couldn't quite understand, even more so as a human. Including an uncomfortable itch under his skin that happened when she talked to Dean. He ignored it though and went on like it never was there.

Dean turned back to Cas as the waitress walked away. He'd already gotten her to blush. Score.

"So, any plans after food?" Cas asked. He remembered a few offers of trying ice cream, it being another sugary snack.

"Well, if we don't eat too much now, we could get the ice cream II promised."

Cas smiled. "I'm good with that idea. Though I'm not the one with two bacon cheeseburgers, fries, and a coke." Cas pointed out.

"Well, see, I know I can eat this," Dean defended. "You have no idea how much you eat."

Cas couldn't deny that. "Suppose that's fair to some degree."

Dean smirked triumphantly as their food came out. And, of course, he flirted a bit more.

Cas started eating when the food came but Dean and the waitress had a chat again. And again, he had the strange itch or feeling irritating him. He pushed it away to look more into it later, but it was still nagging at him. Only till she left again it let up.

Chapter Text

The two were in the Impala again and heading off to the place Dean knew had the best ice cream.

"So how did you like this place?" Dean asked.

"It was good. Honestly haven't had a proper burger since Famine," Castiel confessed. He still loved meat apparently, the burger tasting delicious.

Dean snorted. "I don't want to relive that. Ever."

"Yes, me neither," Castiel agreed, shivering. They all tasted like heaven if it was a food, but it was kind of annoying always consuming something.

Dean parked on the street this time. There wasn't a parking lot. But he'd made sure the driver's side was facing the road, so Cas didn't have to get out on that side. "Alright, we're here."

Castiel stepped out and looked at the parlor looking building. Through the window it was a bit colorful, inviting.

Dean paused and smiled with a soft laugh. "You wanna go in or you going to keep staring through the window?" He teased, not trying to rush him.

"Oh, yes." Castiel didn't realize he was. "Let's go in."

"This place has a pretty wide selection," Dean warned Cas as he held the door for him. "But you can sample flavors."

"Ok." And boy was Dean not kidding. No wonder he liked the place. The counter area had name tags of each flavor, what was in them, and ones that had an allergy. Peanuts, gluten, soy, etc. That made Castiel a bit nervous.

"Hey Dean?" Castiel asked when he walked back over to him. "I don't really know if I have allergies."

Dean paused. "Oh... we can call Claire. I doubt she would've known if Jimmy had allergies, but we can check. And I guess, if you do, just watch you close in case something happens?"

"I don't know. We still aren't on great terms," Castiel mumbled.

"Fair point... how about we watch, just in case you have a reaction, and we'll take care of it then?"

Castiel nodded and looked at the long rows of ice cream. "Pick for me?" Castiel asked. Dean would know better than him.

"Sure," Dean smiled. Cas was probably overwhelmed. "Did you like the candy bar last night?"

"Yeah," Castiel said. "Is that a flavor?"

"Well, not quite, but they do have chocolate," Dean told him. "What I gave you was dark chocolate. This is simple, one of the basic ice cream flavors. It's a good starter, before you get into complicated stuff. One or two scoop?"

"I'll just start with one." Castiel wanted to be careful but also to see if he liked it or not.

"Alright," Dean replied with a small smile. "Cone or cup? Cone can be messier."

Castiel thought a moment. "Maybe a cone after if I like it."

"You wanna get a sample first? It's just a little spoon, a little taste," Dean told him.

"Yeah," Castiel nodded. He didn't want to get something he wouldn't finish.

"Alright," Dean went over to the counter. "Hi, can I have a sample of the chocolate? Thanks," Dean came back and passed the tiny spoon to Cas.

"You weren’t kidding," Castiel chuckled but took it from him and ate it. His eyes light up at the flavor and cold feeling. It was like the bar, but much sweeter.

"I'm guessing you like it?" Dean grinned at Cas' reaction.

"Mhm. It’s good," Castiel confirmed.

"You wanna go with that or do you want to try some others?" Dean asked him.

"Try a few more," Castiel decided, looking at the flavors again. "What's next?"

"Well, there's a bunch of chocolate options, if you liked that," Dean replied. "There's chocolate chip options. Or you could go with vanilla and try there before spreading out your options." Dean led him over to the freezers to look at the ice cream.

"What's this one?" It had chocolate in the title but was a light green color.

"That one's mint chocolate chip," Dean told him. "If you like mint."

"I can try it," Castiel said. It looked interesting.

Dean asked for the sample and passed it to Cas.

Cas ate the next small bite. The chocolate chips were a different flavor of chocolate, but the mint added something new. He was unsure if he liked it or not.

"Thoughts?"

"I don't know if I like the mint. The harder chocolate parts were good," Cas summarized.

"I'm not a huge fan of mint either, so that's fine," Dean replied.

"One more?" Cas asked. He picked from the three.

"Sure, what are you thinking?" Dean wondered, leaving it up to Cas.

Castiel looked at the flavors before pointing at a reddish one. "What about strawberry?"

Dean got the sample, waiting to see how Cas liked it.

Castiel took the bite and swallowed it a bit later shaking his head. "I don't think so. Is that what real strawberries tastes like?"

"It kind of depends on how they made the ice cream," Dean replied. "We can get real strawberries at some point; the taste is a bit different because of the ice cream itself."

"Ok." Castiel threw away the plastic spoon and went back next to Dean. "So now what?"

"I'm guessing you liked the chocolate most? We can get that one,” Dean guessed.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Are the cones good?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah, they're pretty good. They can be messy, but it's easy enough to clean up," Dean replied, looking over the ice cream options before deciding to go with Mocha Chip.

Castiel nodded. "I'll try the cone."

Dean ordered their ice cream, smiling at the cashier as he handed Cas his and the two went outside.

Castiel enjoyed his chocolate ice cream, learning to eat it before it melted. But when he was almost at the cone, his stomach started to hurt. Wasn't queasy but it was uncomfortable. Till it started to ache. "Dean..."

"What?" Dean asked, crunching through his cone. "Something wrong?"

"Stomach pain," Castiel told him.

Dean frowned. "That's not normal."

Castiel sighed, his hand covering half his face, feeling a bit warm to the touch. "Probably means allergies. Whatever it was."

Dean hummed. "Hold on," he murmured, turning around and going back to the ice cream shop. "Wait, no, come with me, I don't want you alone."

Castiel stood up but it hurt. He hadn't been sick before as a human, surprisingly, but this had to feel close to that.

"Whoa, shit-" Dean helped Cas sit back down. "Stay here, okay? We'll figure this out."

Castiel nodded at him and leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees, closing his eyes. Dean had taken the ice cream cone from him, but he didn't think it was from that. "I tried that one first. It would have started hurting earlier."

"Probably an allergy..." Dean pulled out his phone and typed something.

"We've established that," Castiel groaned lightly. This was great. "What are you doing?"

"Looking up what it could've been. Then what to do," Dean said.

"Could ask a worker what was in the other two ice creams," Castiel suggested. "Narrow it down."

"Well yeah but you can't really get up and I don't want to leave you alone," Dean worried.

"It'll just be 2-5 minutes. I'll be fine," Castiel told him. It was getting worse, but he couldn't exactly tell Dean that now. "Go, it'll help more than guessing."

"Are you sure?" Dean fussed.

"Yes." 'No.' Castiel wanted him to stay, the human need for comfort or someone familiar but that wouldn't help right now.

"Okay. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay? Right back," Dean said.

Castiel gave him a thumbs up and leaned back.

Dean nodded and left, running inside.

Castiel heard him leave but not saw. His stomach felt like it was in knots, and it hadn't gotten better. He waited for Dean to come back, hopefully with the culprit food.

Dean returned as soon as he could. "The only ingredient none of them had in common was soy," he murmured. "Soy milk. In the strawberry."

"The one I chose,” Castiel commented. "The universe hates me," he joked dryly.

"Well, now we know you're allergic to soy. Good thing to avoid," Dean said.

"Mhm," Castiel noised. "I don't like this," he said. It felt like he would throw up, but nothing had happened. The feeling came and went.

"I know," Dean sat next to Cas, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he looked up what to do next.

Castiel leaned against him seeking comfort, eyes shut tight. He didn't like it at all.

"This doesn't really say much except see a doctor," Dean grumbled. "If you go into asphyxias, we have to get to a hospital, so if you start having trouble breathing tell me immediately."

Castiel nodded. "Stomach just hurts right now. Didn't eat much," he said the last part quieter.

"Tell me if it changes?" Dean told him.

"Yeah, ok,” Castiel agreed. A pause for a little before. "What are we going to do now?"

"Wait for you to feel better before we get up?" Dean guessed.

"Alright." Castiel opened his eyes and looked around from where his head was, trying not to move too much. He tried to distract himself with the surroundings and what was going on around him.

Dean sat with Cas, watching him with concern. Waiting for him to say he was feeling better.

Eventually it started to settle, but it was replaced by drowsiness. Being allergic, his body had to fight it off or get rid of it. Castiel was already running on low sleep, even though he got more than 10 hours of sleep last night.

Dean stayed there the whole time, his arm around Cas. He noticed him leaning against him more but didn't say anything.

"Better,” Castiel said after a while more. "Tired though."

"You wanna go home now?" Dean asked

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I can be in a car now," Castiel replied, sitting up a little.

"If you need to, tell me to stop," Dean ordered as he carefully eased Cas to stand.

"Mhm, I will," Castiel agreed and got to his feet with Dean's help.

"Good," Dean replied, straightening up. "Okay, you okay to walk?"

"Pretty sure," Castiel said, finding his footing. It was a mix of tired and uncomfortable, so he just wanted to get to the car.

"Alright, let's go," Dean murmured, leading Cas to the car. Slowly, carefully.

Castiel was thankful for the pace, but even more when they got there. Dean had opened the door so Castiel could get in passenger.

Dean carefully helped Cas into the car. "You still good?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Castiel said and leaned his head back on the seat. "Tired."

"We'll be home soon," Dean promised as he got into the car. "Then you can get into bed and take a nap."

Castiel nodded approval and leaned against the window when Dean started the car. "Stupid soy," Castiel mumbled.

"Stupid soy," Dean agreed. "We'll make sure to avoid it, okay?"

"Better. One spoon and I'm miserable," Castiel mentioned, closing his eyes as the car moved.

"I know," Dean murmured, watching Cas as he drove. Watching to make sure he was still okay.

The drive back to the bunker, Castiel was going on and off for focus. He'd either be watching out the window or closing his eyes.

Dean parked and waited quietly for Cas to notice.

Castiel opened his eyes to switch to notice they had stopped. "Home,” he realized and sat up from the door.

"Home," Dean repeated. "Let me get your door, okay?"

"Dean being a gentleman. Never thought I'd see the day," Castiel joked through the pain, but stayed where he was. If Dean wanted to, he could go right ahead.

"Appreciate it. It only happens when you're sick," Dean joked back as he opened the door, and reached out to help Cas stand. He wasn't sure how steady he'd be.

"Hm, lucky me then," Castiel grinned and got out testing. "I can stand now," he told him.

"You sure?" Dean asked, very much still hovering.

"Yes, I'm fine," Castiel restated. It was more adorable than annoying with Dean being so worried. "See?" Castiel took a few steps easily, just a little off than normal. So fine.

"If you say so..." Dean followed Cas to his room, still fussing and cautious. "I just want you to be okay is all."

Castiel shot down all the 'you sure?'s till they got to his room. He opened his door and looked at Dean. "Now shoo so I can sleep."

Dean laughed slightly. "Nap-time is yours, Sleeping Beauty."

"Finally," Castiel sighed and shut the door, not caring to change and fell onto the bed. He zonked out pretty soon on top of the covers.

Chapter Text

After a few hours, Dean had to go check on Cas. He had to. So, he went over and quietly cracked the door open.

Castiel was on his side with his back to the door. He hadn't woken up since he fell asleep, so he hadn't gotten under the covers yet. From where Dean was standing, Castiel would look perfectly fine. Except for the tear stains on the pillow and the nightmare keeping him from waking up.

Dean thought Cas looked okay. But... something seemed wrong. He didn't want to leave yet.

Castiel started to curl in on himself, shaking from the dream. From the memories. From when the angels were ordered to battle and show no mercy. No compassion.

"Cas?" Dean asked as he slipped into the room. He didn't look... "Are you okay?"

Castiel couldn't hear him but must have registered him because his crying became clearer.

"Shit," Dean hurried to his side, hesitating before shaking him gently. "Cas? Wake up, come on, please, you're having a nightmare,"

Castiel didn't wake up like Dean wanted and was able to curl further away from him. It was horrible. No sympathy for the weak or unfortunate. Warriors, not guardians.

"Cas, come on," Dean begged, trying to pull him back over. "Wake up, please,"

Castiel startled awake, wide eyed when Dean tried to turn him over. Castiel backed into the headboard of the bed before wiping at his face. He had to have been crying for a long time for it to get that wet, so he just brought his legs up and buried his face in his knees. They were just kids.

"Cas?" Dean asked quietly.

"T-they were just kids," Castiel sobbed quietly. "They didn't care... I didn't care."

Dean held in a breath at that. Poor Cas... "Hey, hey," Dean tried to soothe gently. "It's okay. Okay? It's over, it's past." He thought about crawling onto the bed, hugging Cas, but he didn't move. Yet.

"But I-I killed-" Castiel cut himself off, shaking.

"Yeah, you did, but it's over." That decided it. Dean got up on the bed and pulled Cas into a tight hug. "It's over, Cas, okay?"

Castiel didn't protest and leaned into it. He did it, he slaughtered children because Heaven said so. He went against everything that Gabriel had taught him as a fledgling. Things he had started to remember again also. But only like this. Only when he felt he was safe.

Dean slowly started to rock back and forth, holding Cas close. "It's okay," he repeated, whispering the words. "It's gonna be okay. It was just a dream.”

Castiel's tears started slowing down and calmed at the movement. The dream started to lessen and tried to focus on Dean's voice. In the past. Just a dream. It's ok.

"You're okay," Dean whispered, rubbing Cas' back, still rocking.

'I'm ok,' Castiel repeated in his head. He's ok, he's safe, he's not cold hearted anymore. He's not that angel anymore. Castiel tightened his arms around Dean at the thoughts. He's not that person anymore.

"Whatever it was, it's not you," Dean somehow echoed Cas' thoughts. "You're not who you were. You're better now. You care now. It's because you care that you're getting these dreams, which shows you're already better than you were." He squeezed him tight. "I just hope they stop so you can sleep. Nightmares aren't fun."

Castiel's quiet sobs soon stopped but the tears still rolled down his cheeks silently. Dean saying his words out loud gave a clarity, that it was true. Castiel was better now. He had a family and a home and friends.

"It's okay," Dean continued his mumbling, holding Cas tight. It was Cas. He needed this. He deserved to feel better.

Dean's quiet murmurs of comfort and the beat of his heart started calming Castiel down more from the fear high he had. The tears coming to a stop a few minutes later when his breathing had matched Dean's heart.

As Cas slowly calmed down, Dean started running his hand through his hair. He wasn't sure why, just that it felt right.

The added rhythm in his hair helped the dream finish falling away. Just leaving the need for sleep that the nightmare had stopped. Castiel started going slack against Dean as he slowly lost consciousness again.

Dean watched Cas falling back to sleep with surprise. Now he didn't want to move. Cas... Cas needed him, what if he had another nightmare? He decided he'd stay. He could risk waking Cas up if he moved. Dean kicked his shoes off, they landed on the ground with a soft thump, and he pulled Cas somewhat closer.

All that happened was Castiel made an unhappy grumble here or there until they were both laying down. Asleep, he kept his head on Dean's chest and stayed close to him.

Dean kept Cas tucked close, running his hand through his hair as the former angel slept. He knew he couldn't keep nightmares away, but he could wake Cas up when he noticed him having one.

He could, just a little bit. Like last night, Castiel could sleep and dream and get some rest. As long as he felt safe, and he did with Dean. He still had glimpses and moments of the past, but they didn't get much of his attention.

Dean calmly held Cas. He'd hold him as long as he needed. He realized, he liked being with Cas. He liked seeing him relaxed and peaceful.

Castiel had been slowly learning that as a human, he loved touch. Hugs, shoulder pats, but especially this. It was calming and relaxing and made him happy.

Laying on the bed with Cas, Dean slowly relaxed and eventually started to drift off to sleep. It wasn't fast, a slow change from waking to not.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Castiel woke up from the nap a few hours later. The nap had been interrupted but then extended. He glanced up to see Dean again, like last time expect Castiel was on laying on his chest. Feeling the slow rise and fall of Dean's breath.

Dean had eventually fallen asleep, comfortable with Cas right there. His hand had fallen from Cas's hair to his shoulder, his other arm around his back.

Castiel put his head back down, content with just staying right there. That this could stay. But it couldn't. Dean was here to help with his nightmares. He fell asleep because he couldn't leave. He didn't want anything more. Not what Castiel wanted.

Dean slept peacefully but eventually began to stir. It his movement, he pulled Cas closer, mumbling something similar to "Don't go."

Castiel's heart skipped at that. He didn't want to. He never wanted to. He wanted to move even closer and just stay here. But then it would end when they get up. They'd get up and forget about it till the next night, or whenever he had a nightmare. Castiel didn't want that, so he just gave into this small wish.

Dean's disturbance calmed as Cas moved closer and he hummed quietly, tucking his face into Cas' hair, sighing and falling back into restful sleep.

A small wish that felt like torture itself. Castiel laid with Dean in bed and felt scattered. Because Castiel shouldn't be in bed with Dean. He shouldn’t like it. But he does. He does and the fear that Dean actually doesn't is there. He eventually falls asleep, but Dean presence isn't as comforting as it was before.
- - - - - - - -
A few hours later, Dean finally woke up to find that he as Cas were snuggled close. Very close. And, surprisingly, he didn't mind it.

Sleeping Castiel didn’t have the same thoughts as awake Castiel did and got closer like he had wanted to. His breath slow and even, the left side of his face resting on the other man's chest.

Dean kind of blinked as Cas cuddled closer. Usually, Dean would have pushed him - anyone - away by now but... he was surprised to find that he liked it. He liked cuddling with Cas.

Castiel had gotten into the habit of waking up and falling back asleep because of the nightmares. So, five minutes later Castiel was conscious again.

"Morning, Cas," Dean greeted, voice rough with sleep. "How'd you sleep?"

"I did sleep," Castiel repeated what he had said before. Because that really said it all. "You?"

"Better than usual, actually," Dean murmured. "Any more nightmares?"

"A few. Not bad ones but unpleasant," Castiel said honestly.

"Did any wake you up?" Dean asked.

"I don’t think so. But I'm used to waking up after a few hours, so I did wake up a few times," Castiel said.

"That so?" Dean wondered why Cas hadn't moved away. Unless he - no. No, he was just looking for comfort.

"Mhm, became a habit in a month of them." Castiel being more awake now, he moved off of Dean. He didn't want to, but the nightmare was gone.

Dean felt the loss sharply, tempted to pull Cas back. He almost did, actually tugging him just a little before realizing what he was doing.

Castiel felt the small pull, but it was over too quickly, so he put it as his imagination. What he wanted to happen. "How long did I sleep for?" His clock wasn't facing him, and it was on the other side of Dean.

"Uh," Dean turned to check the clock. ""It was 3 when we got back so... about six hours, I think? Depending on how much you woke up."

"Maybe 4 times? 5-10 minutes before I went back to sleep," Castiel guesstimated, putting an arm over his eyes.

"So yeah, you got like, five or six hours of sleep. Yay," Dean murmured. He was surprised Sam hadn't come in and woken them. Was he back to the bunker yet? Dean wanted to get up, but he very much did not want to leave Cas. Finally deciding to man up, he moved closer to the former angel.

Castiel would have been so happy if he wasn't human now. "You chose the worst time to go back to sleep," Cas sighed and moved off the bed, mumbling 'bathroom'.

"Dammit," Dean grumbled, letting Cas go.

Castiel nodded and left to the bathroom connected to his room.

Dean huffed as Cas left before sitting up and checking his phone. Damn... 9 pm. They'd literally slept the day away.

"Never eating soy again," Castiel complained a few minutes later when he came out. He sat on the edge if the bed and fell back, his feet on the floor.

Dean automatically moved to comb his hand through Cas' hair. "We'll make sure to avoid it, okay?"

"Yeah." Castiel closed his eyes and let Dean do what he wanted. He had a long while to catch up on sleep but for now he was good.

Dean found the motion calming and kept doing it. There was a familiarity, an intimacy that he usually shunned, but.... he didn't want to. He was tired of being macho and tough all the time.

"Think Sam is back yet?" The day had been slept away, apart from the meal.

"I'm not sure," Dean murmured. "Do you wanna get up and check with me?"

"I'm good, you can go," Castiel said. He might take another shower when Dean leaves.

"Alright," Dean reluctantly got up. "Call me if you need me?"

"Yep," Castiel agreed putting an arm over his eyes again. He didn’t know if he wanted to nap or just stay still for a while.

"See you," Dean murmured softly as he left, closing the door.

Sam had gone out grocery shopping that day, and when he got back it was very quiet. He didn't know if Dean and Cas were up to anything, or if they'd left the bunker. He figured if they needed anything they'd call him. He was currently sat in the library quietly, looking over the police scans, checking for any monster-esque type behavior they could go hunt.

"Hey," Dean called as he walked in. "Where have you been?"

Sam jumped a little, he didn't hear his brother walk in. "Uh, out. We were running low, and I just wanted to stock up. Where were you and Cas? I haven't seen you guys all day."

"Asleep. Then we went for lunch and ice cream. Found out he's allergic to soy. Then spent the rest of the day asleep. He wasn't feeling good after, which. Duh."

"Oh, glad you're safe though." Sam smiled. "Allergic to soy huh? We gotta be careful what we feed him. He might be allergic to other stuff too. And I'm glad you helped him sleep some."

"Yeah," Dean sighed, grabbing the other laptop and opening it. "Apparently he's getting nightmares of things he did as an angel too."

Sam sighed deeply, both he and Dean knew what that was like. Except they'd be possessed, not brainwashed. It would be so much worse for Cas. Being made into a heartless soldier. Just remembering the screams of the people, creatures that were in the way of heaven. "I bet. Poor guy's been through too much. And humanity isn't exactly giving him a break."

"Not at all," Dean mumbled as he looked up soy-free recipes. "And then this allergy, he could hardly stand up, his stomach hurt so bad."

"Yeah, we should get rid of all the soy we've got. I don’t think I bought anything with soy, but we'll have to check. And since he's human, painkillers might actually work well this time on him. I don’t know if he'd want any, but they might help him for now."

"Probably not right now, but yeah. I'll see if he wants something later. He seems like he's feeling a bit better now, though." Dean saved a recipe. "Have to watch ingredients."

"Yeaah," Sam dragged that out a little, before the room went quiet again. Dean was engrossed in whatever soy-free recipes he was saving. And Sam was staring blankly at his screen. "Are you going to spend the nights with him?" Sam asked glancing at Dean. "Last night he was pretty restless, but I saw him go to your room and he seems okay afterwards."

"Uh-" Dean went red. Sure, he'd hoped Cas would stay, but...talking about it was different. "I .... don't know," he got out. "Haven't talked about it."

"Oh." Sam looked down into his lap. He knew how much Dean and Cas mean to each other and thought it would be a good idea. Cas would be able to get good, needed rest and Dean might be able to get over himself. But Sam knew they were both too oblivious to actually do anything. "Is he sleeping now? Why haven't you talked about it yet?"

"Well, we were asleep, then dealing with an allergic reaction, then asleep again, and it just hasn't come up, okay?" Dean snapped, getting defensive. "And I don't know if he's asleep. When I left him, he was awake but didn't want to get up."

"Woa- okay thats- that's fine, I was just asking. But I mean it's night, so unless you're staying up for long then you'll have to talk to him about it soon." Sam almost put his hands up defensively but didn't. He gave Dean a small pat on his shoulder and smiled. "He seems pretty safe with you. He might want to spend a few nights in your room, maybe until the nightmares stop, or stop being as painful at least."

Dean kind of shrugged. "I mean... I won't kick him out. He deserves to be able to sleep and if hanging out in my room does it then..."

Sam smiled. It still physically hurt him watching those two, but this was progress, kind of. They were going to spend a few nights together and that means cuddles. Couples cuddle all the time. Sam was even debating taking pictures of them sleeping together, just in case they decided to pretend it never happened when Cas gets better. Still, Cas needed Dean, Cas deserved a break, and its Dean who is the one bringing him peace. "Maybe you should go see him?"

"Yeah, probably. In a few minutes," Dean saved another recipe. "He probably needs something to drink."

"Yeah, and maybe something to eat too? You guys haven't eaten since you got back, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if he's really up for anything. I'll get him something little at least," Dean got up, closing the laptop.

Sam mumbled something in agreement with Dean's plan and turned back closing his laptop rubbing his eyes. He figured he'd had enough screen time for one day and got up going to his room to relax a little before going to bed.

"Want anything while I'm making stuff?"

"No, thanks. I already ate," Sam yelled down the halls.

"Alright," Dean called back.

Dean made a small meal then took it to Cas's room, knocking lightly on the door.

"You can come in!" Castiel shouted but it was muffled by another door.

Dean opened the door. "Where you at?

"Bathroom," Castiel said loudly before a rush of water from the shower started again.

Dean nodded slowly. "I've got something for you to eat since we haven't eaten since we got the ice cream."

Castiel heard enough over the shower to understand and finished up quickly. He dried off and put on the sweatpants he brought with. Castiel hadn't realized Dean would come back so soon and didn't find a shirt yet. So, he'd be shirtless. Meaning Dean would see his scars. And his weight loss.

Dean looked up when Cas emerged, worry and concern flashing over his features at his friend's torso. There were silver lines and healed over tears scattered over his body. Not as much as Dean had, assuming Castiel was able to heal most of his own wounds, but enough to cause concern. Then there was the skinniness that no doubt came from being human and alone for a month. How much had Cas been eating? Why wasn’t he eating much now? Dean opened his mouth to speak his questions out loud… but his face reddened at the third observation.

“Um.” Cas was shirtless. Shirtless. Dean glanced down before he could stare, face burning. He couldn't stop his eyes from trailing back up to Cas's body, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips.

Castiel walked to his dresser, not noticing, to find a shirt before Dean could ask. "What's for food?" He asked as he pulled it over his head.

"Um-" Dean wet his lips, mouth dry. Disappointment flashed through him when Cas put on a shirt. "Some chicken thing I found ingredients for. No soy."

"Thank you," Castiel told him and went to the plate. It looked and smelled delicious. "I appreciate it."

"Of course, you have to eat," Dean replied. "And you don't want another reaction. I... brought enough for both of us, you mind if I eat with you?"

"No, I don’t mind," Castiel said. If he was honest, he wasn't sure how much he'd be able to eat. That month he didn’t have much to eat.

Dean smiled at Cas and handed him a plate and utensils.

"So did you see Sam?" Castiel asked when he sat down on the bed. He crossed his legs and put the plate in his lap.

"Yeah, he was in the library. Asked what we'd done all day." Dean sat next to Cas, careful not to bounce the bed too much

"So, nothing?" Castiel grinned before taking a bite.

"Pretty much," Dean laughed slightly.

Cas made a sound of approval at the food before he swallowed. "This is good."

Dean flushed. "Thanks," he grinned.

The two talked about random things as they ate. Castiel was almost done with his bowl when he put it down. "Thank you. For today and last night."

"Of course," Dean replied. "You were suffering and having trouble. I'm not going to leave you like that."

"Yeah, but I probably messed up your sleep schedule," Castiel pointed out. Sleeping for 9-10 hours, being awake for maybe 3, then sleeping for 6 more till evening.

Dean shrugged. "Never really had much of one. You sleep when you can because you don't know when you'll get another chance."

"Still, you probably won't be tired for a while. It’s already the evening," Castiel reminded him. "You didn’t have to but I'm thankful."

"Maybe I didn't have to, but I wanted to," Dean replied as he finished eating.

Castiel thought about that. "So, you don't mind sleeping with me?"

"No," Dean smiled softly. "No, it's... some of the best sleep I've had in a long time.”

Castiel grinned. "Thats good then. Suppose it helped both of us."

"Yeah," Dean looked down at his lap. "Um... I wouldn't mind if you wanna do it again tonight or... Whenever you end up getting to sleep."

Castiel looked at the clock. "Probably won't for a few hours but who knows really," he said before giving a glance t Dean. "I wouldn't mind that."

Dean smiled at Cas. "Great. I'm not sure when I'll get back to sleep either, but we could watch a movie or something in my room if you want, at some point."

"Sure," Castiel nodded. "You have one in mind?"

Dean's mouth twisted as he thought. "Tombstone?"

"It's a cowboy one, isn't it?" Castiel guessed from the name.

"Yeah," Dean admitted. "But it's good."

Castiel sighed. He'd been around enough to know Dean's love for the genre. "Yeah, I'll watch it," he said as he starts to clean up but smirked. "Who knows, might help me get to sleep faster."

Dean shook his head. "Whatever helps," he returned, knowing Cas didn't like the genre as much.

Chapter Text

A few hours later, the two were curled up on Dean's bed. Dean had his arm around Cas's shoulders, his friend leaning heavily on him since he'd fallen asleep.

Castiel stuck through till the movie was halfway done before he dozed off. Falling asleep with Dean nearby was starting to feel natural and made sleeping easier to do.

Dean turned off the TV as the movie finished, sitting comfortably as he leaned against the pillows. Cas seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and Dean was starting to feel drowsy himself.

His head having fallen to Dean's shoulder, his back was curved slightly in a way to be comfortable. It hadn't taken much more to fall asleep after he had eaten and taken a shower. Cas's hair had been damp still when they started the movie but by the end it had dried and fluffed.

Dean smiled down at Cas. He seemed so peaceful and calm now, none of the stress usually lining his face.

Dean blinked as he came to a realization. Cas was... beautiful.

Studying his features, Dean didn't know why he hadn't thought about this before. His hair was fluffy and tousled, messy as always. And, as Dean had found out throughout the day, very soft. His face was... Well, angelic was the best description, how ironic.

Cas was very handsome, Dean decided. He'd like to ask him out, maybe... Maybe to dinner, something romantic. But did Cas want the same? Dean didn't want to make things awkward, so... He probably shouldn't ask. He'd make do with cuddles and sleeping in the same bed until Cas decided he was okay on his own again.

Castiel was having a good dream this time. He'd been having them since the night/morning before. Usually, small things but it was a big deal for his mind, letting him ease and sleep more peaceful. But it was only when he was like this, being held or knowing someone else is there. It would have seemed strange for an angel to fear being alone, but Castiel wasn't anymore. He was human, and he had been on his own for so long.

So, it makes sense why at some point Castiel moved closer to Dean while he dreamed.

Dean was slightly surprised when Cas moved closer. But he wasn't going to protest, so he just tightened his arm around him and rested his head on Cas'. He sighed slowly, breathing in Cas's scent.

Castiel hummed quietly, his dream shifting as well.

Dean slowly rubbed his hand up and down Cas's arm, closing his eyes. He was relaxed, comfortable. This was... nice.

After some time, without even realizing, Dean slipped off to sleep, cuddled up with Castiel.

- - - - - -

Dean yawned as he woke up. He frowned. Something was wrong. He opened his eyes and paused. Cas was gone.

Castiel had woken up about 20 minutes earlier, it taking about the whole time to actually get up.

Taking after Dean without realizing it, he watched as Dean slept. Just like all those years of him watching over him but seeing Dean with new eyes. Castiel rarely saw Dean relaxed but that's the only way he could put it. The tension seemed to have just drained right out of his features, making him seem younger than he was. Happier.

Castiel hoped part of it was that Dean enjoyed sleeping beside him. He had said he had slept better than he had in a long time. Maybe... just maybe they could keep doing this. Maybe still after whenever Cas's nightmares stop and he doesn't need someone for them. But that was just the dream.

In the present, Castiel had gotten up without disturbing Dean and left to the kitchen. He wanted coffee and he was feeling more energized than he has in a while. At least for the moment.

Dean groaned softly as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes, feeling the loss sharply. Of course, he couldn't expect Cas to stay forever but still... he figured his friend was getting coffee. He really liked coffee, so it wasn't too much of a stretch to believe that's where he'd gone. So, Dean, after some time, heaved himself out of bed to shuffle to the kitchen.

Castiel was sitting at the table in the kitchen when Dean walked in. "Hey," he greeted but was taken back by the drink in his hands.

"Hey," Dean replied with a yawn, voice deep and rough from sleeping. "Any more coffee left?"

"Should be," Castiel responded. "Made almost a full pot."

Dean yawned again and nodded thanks as he shuffled over to find a mug.

"How'd you sleep Dean?" Castiel asked, taking his mug from his lips for a moment to speak.

"Pretty good. Just groggy," Dean mumbled as he took a sip of his own coffee.

"Hmm. Took me 'bout half an hour to get out of bed," Castiel said. "Torture but worth it."

"You think so," Dean joked. "You'd do anything for your precious caffeine."

"Mhm, kept dreams away," Castiel mumbled without thinking. "Grew to love it."

Dean blinked. Did he hear that right? "Uh, Cas... were you drinking coffee to avoid nightmares?"

Cas stopped mid sip. "Maybe."

Dean looked at him. He couldn't exactly say anything against it, given his habits... "Okay," he sighed slightly.

Dean's reaction to that went pretty ok. But Castiel still kept it quiet for now, drinking the hot liquid just for enjoyment now instead of need.

The two stood in silence for some time, drinking their coffee, Dean slowly waking up more.

"You going to go on a hunt soon?" Castiel asked. It had been a while since he had seen Dean or Sam go on one.

"I'm not sure..." Dean murmured. "Haven't been on one in a while but I think other hunters have gotten a lot of stuff covered. I've heard of hunts but there's always been someone else closer to it..."

"Is this like a break for you then?" Castiel guessed.

"I guess so," Dean realized. "I mean, I didn't even notice how long it's been since we've gone out..."

"Take advantage of the free time maybe?" Castiel suggested. The brothers didn't get much normal.

"Yeah, good idea," Dean agreed. "But, hell, what would I do?"

"What do you want to do? Something that hunting didn't let you?"

Dean thought. And blanked. "I... have no idea. Hunting's always been my life. I mean..." This was a risky move, but one Dean was willing to take. "I was never able to have a stable relationship, but I don't really feel like looking for someone that might not even be interested."

"Whoever wouldn't be interested in you is an idiot." That much was true. Dean had the looks and personality, even if his ego could be a bit much, he had a kind heart. Anyone would be lucky to win his affection.

Dean shrugged. "Lotta girls and guys-" Time to pay attention to Cas' reaction. "Aren't too interested in something long term."

Castiel stopped mid sip, his drink just a few drops away from being empty. Oh. That was new. Cas hadn't heard males had been added to Dean's list. "My comment still stands. And I'm sure some people would."

Well. A pause. He wasn't sure if his friend was just surprised or... Disapproving, was one word for it. He flushed now at the compliment. "Well... still. People aren't too interested in someone who's legally dead."

Castiel chuckled. "I can see how that could be an issue."

"Yeah," Dean grinned slightly. "Besides... people at bars... aren't really catching my interest anymore.”

"I'd hope that's not where you actually would go to find someone," Castiel told him, not catching on. "Not the best place to."

"Where I've always gone to catch a hookup," Dean shrugged. "Not exactly much ability to work hard to find someone when you're a hunter. Bars always have somebody."

"Suppose that's true." The thought of Dean having a 'hookup' with someone random brought the unpleasant feeling back from the diner. He still couldn't figure out what it was, but it is involving Dean, he wasn't sure he should ask him about it.

"Anyways, still not interested," Dean muttered. "Most of the people there are too young. Now it'd just feel wrong. Creepy."

"So more of a thing to do in your 20s?" Castiel wondered as the feeling suddenly faded away.

"Yeah, sounds about right," Dean agreed then sighed. "Damn I'm getting old. Never thought I'd do that.”

"Well, technically you shouldn't be able to since you've already died," Castiel pointed out.

"Fair point," Dean replied. Then, with a sultry smirk, "But since when have I ever let that happen?"

"You literally let yourself die the first time." Castiel turned around to look at him with a pointed look.

"Except I came back," Dean pointed at him.

"Were you the one who had to fight off demons and pull your ass to breathing again? No, so that doesn't count," Castiel said and stood up to put the mug in the sink.

"Well, I think I'm still breathin', heart's still beatin'. But I'll give you credit for that one, my ass would be worm food without you," Dean grinned.

"You better," Castiel said, then mumbled when he was further away from Dean. "Would have been a damn shame."

"What's that?" Dean asked, not hearing Cas well.

"Nothing," Castiel replied, maybe a bit too quickly but steadied it out. "Just thinking out loud."

"If you say so," Dean sang with a teasing tone.

Castiel rolled his eyes and turned around to leaned against the counter. "So, nothing’s coming to mind related to what you want to do?"

Dean shrugged with a sigh. "Not really."

"I think you've met your match," Castiel said playfully. "Dean Winchester is bored."

Dean groaned loudly. "Uugh," he whined then took on a thoughtful tone. "I could work on one of the cars in the garage."

"There you go." Castiel knew Dean loved cars, especially his Impala. He'd have fun.

"Yeah... later," Dean decided. "I don't feel like moving right now."

"Adding lazy to the list I see," Castiel grinned.

"Am not," Dean argued playfully. "Just... tired."

"I think my tiredness is a disease," Castiel said back.

"That is a slight possibility," Dean replied. "At this point, I wouldn't be surprised."

Castiel smiled. "It may have just transferred to you actually because I don't feel as exhausted right now."

"Damn you then," Dean teased. "Giving me your tired."

"I don't know. I think you could use it. Such a poor sleep schedule," Castiel joked but with a completely serious expression.

"Nah, but what else will I have going for me? Bad sleep's like, my best quality," Dean grinned.

"If that's what you call 'best', you definitely need to get more sleep," Castiel smirked.

Dean playfully rolled his eyes. "Well then what else will I be, if not sleep deprived?"

'The most caring man on the world.' But instead said, "Flirty alcoholic with a side of cowboy fetish," Castiel said, looking like he had been thinking for a moment.

Dean thought. "Okay, yeah, fair."

Castiel gave a winning smile. "Thought so."

Dean shook his head in amusement. "Fine, you win, happy?"

"Very. Now finish your coffee and get to the cars. I'm surprised you haven't already worked on them yet," Castiel said.

Dean did as he was told, setting his mug in the sink and fighting the urge to kiss Cas' cheek as he walked out of the room. That was... weird

Castiel watched Dean leave before doing his own things in the bunker.
- - - - - -

Dean was working on cars for hours. Eventually, he got hot and pulled his oil-streaked shirt off, working in just a pair of jeans, torso bare.

Castiel eventually himself got bored and wandered down the halls to the garage to see how Dean was doing. Only he froze in the doorway. Leaning over an open car hood, looking into it holding a tool, was Dean. Shirtless.

His jeans had dark patches from oil but Castiel didn't pay attention to those. Dean's upper body was completely exposed, glistening with sweat. He had fixed him and put Dean back together multiple times now, but this was different. Castiel couldn't help but stare. His skin baring scars, muscles moving when he started testing one of the engine parts.

Dean was gorgeous.

Castiel made himself look away, trying to find his composure as his face felt hot. Taking a few deep breaths, he found his voice. "Hello Dean." Castiel did his best to ignore the strange fluttery feeling.

Dean looked up, startled but not showing it. He didn't particularly mind that Cas had caught him shirtless - usually, he would, but he was in his element. He was comfortable. Straightening up from the car he was working on, not caring that his jeans were hanging low on his hips, he set his tool down. "Hey, Cas," he greeted. "What's up?"

Castiel fought back a gulp at the added skin and trained his eyes to Dean's face. "Nothing. Just wondered how it was going."

"Pretty good," Dean replied, glancing back at the car. "Think I've almost got 'er up and running. Sitting for fifty-something years did nothing good for these babies, which is a damn shame.”

At that Castiel forgot Dean's current condition and smiled. It was always nice to see Dean excited or passionate about something. "That's good."

"Yeah," Dean grinned. "You mind if I finish up?"

"Yeah, have at it," Castiel said, waving back to the car. "I'm interested in seeing it working."

Dean smiled at Cas before bending back over the car, quickly falling back into the head-space he got in when working on cars - focused and efficient.

And it was back. Castiel's face felt like it had holy oil splashed on it at the image of Dean, right in front of him leaning back over the car a little further than before. His torso stretched forward; the waist of the jeans fell a little more to one side. Castiel finally gulped hard when more of the hipbone was presented. Even licking his damn lips whenever they moved.

Castiel had to get out of there.

"I-I'll be in the- in my room. Watching TV," Castiel said, stumbling over his words before turning around and going back out the door.

Dean glanced back, blinking in surprise when Cas practically ran out. "Okay..." he muttered.

Castiel had gone straight to his room and shut the door. He could feel droplets of sweat dripping down his neck and rubbed at his eyes. What just happened was bound to be in a dream tonight, no doubt. Castiel left to his bathroom and splashed water on his face to cool down. Dean was beautiful. Attractive was an understatement.
- - - - - - -
A few hours later, he walked out of the garage, deciding he was done and wiping his sweaty brow with his balled-up shirt. He hadn't fixed his pants at all, still riding low on his hips, and he stopped on his way to his own room to knock on Cas's door.

Castiel heard a knock on his door. Getting up and pausing the TV, because he actually did end up doing it, Castiel walked to open his door. And oh, was that a mistake.

"Hey," Castiel said, doing the same thing and trying his hardest not. To. Look. Down. "You done?"

"Yeah, I'm done for now," Dean replied, unaware of what he was doing to his friend. "Thought I'd stop by before I grab a shower, see how you're doing."

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just watching TV," Castiel explained. All he could think to do at the moment. Not like the thought of Dean showering had popped into his head.

"Found a show you like?" Dean asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Castiel turned his attention away to the screen before he could start staring again. "No, just looking through them. A few Sam recommended."

"Oh, like what?" Dean was finally noticing that something was up with Cas.

Why wouldn't Dean just leave! "Movies mostly. Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc. Long series." The second movie was paused on the television screen, about 30 minutes in.

Dean's eyes lit in interest. "Which one you watching now?"

"Second Harry Potter movie," Castiel said.

"Ooh, don't tell Sam but that's a good series," Dean grinned. "Lemme get a quick shower then I'll join you?"

Thank god. "Yeah, go get cleaned up before you sit on my bed," Castiel told him.

Dean playfully rolled his eyes before leaving.

Cas had let out a sigh of relief when Dean finally left and shut the door, leaning against it. His heart was beating faster than it should be and he tried to calm it down.

Dean had returned just fifteen minutes later, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, his hair damp, water droplets rolling down the back on his neck.

Castiel waited in his room, leaning against the headboard for Dean to come back. Ignoring the thoughts that filtered through his mind, he looked up when the door opened. Dean was back, fully clothed so Castiel wouldn't die, and hair still shimmering with water. Better than before.

"Hey," Dean grinned, noticing that Cas was kind of red... "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Castiel said but thought he was done for.

Dean gave Cas a doubtful look. "You sure?"

Castiel nodded. "You wanted to watch the movie?" He reminded, changing the subject.

"Right, yeah," Dean agreed, crawling up to join Cas on the bed, snuggled closer to him than perhaps appropriate.

Castiel fought back a pleasant shiver and reached for the remote, unpausing it.

Dean turned his attention to the TV, ignoring the flutter inside him as their legs brushed.

Castiel shut his eyes as the feeling was more intense than usual. What once was comfort was now turning into something else, he didn't know. Castiel kept his focus trained on the movie and not on the real-life situation. Eventually able to forget about it.

Dean shifted occasionally throughout the movie but was mostly quiet. With their positioning, he couldn't respect personal space, but he kept his hands to himself. Mostly. Around the end of the movie, his hand had strayed, fingers brushing Cas's knee.

Castiel inhaled a quiet breath and stared ahead. Maybe when the movie was done, Dean would leave. Castiel could ask him to make food or something if he doesn't. The Winchester not knowing what he was doing and even Cas didn't understand fully.

Dean, by now, had definitely noticed that something was off with Cas. And, given his reaction to the move, he was pretty sure he knew. Was Cas attracted to him? He thought maybe he'd try to mess with him a little more, rile him up a bit.

"Are you watching Netflix or DvDs?" Dean asked.

"DvDs. Sam lended them to me," Castiel told him.

"Want me to put the next one in?"

"Maybe later?" Castiel suggested, trying to get away to figure out what this feeling is. "I haven't really eaten anything all day."

"Wanna make something?" Dean suggested. "I could show you how, in case you want something and nobody's around."

Crap. "Sure. It'd be good to learn. I'll meet you in the kitchen then?" Castiel said.

"Sounds good," Dean smiled as he got up, pulling up his jeans as they'd fallen low from sitting down. He grinned at Cas before slipping out of the room to go to the kitchen.

Castiel stared before looking away, waiting for the door to close. He buried his face in his hands. What was happening! Dean didn't know what he was doing, he may not even want that. They cuddle and sleep together, but this felt different.

Castiel stayed there for about 5 minutes before getting up and leaving his room to the kitchen. It was just Dean.

"Hey," Dean smiled as Cas showed up. He'd already gotten a few pans out, a laptop sitting on a counter. "What're you thinking you're in the mood for?"

"I don't really know. You're the cook here, what would you think?" Castiel asked, walking to the opposite side of the counter.

"Well... grilled cheese and ham is pretty simple," Dean suggested.

"Then let's do that."

Dean grinned at him, moving past him to get to the fridge. He'd underestimated the distance between Cas and the island and held back a gasp as their bodies brushed. Okay then...

Castiel however, had a harder time doing that but was able to. He looked up after Dean after a few moments, trying to think. "What do we need for that?"

"Just bread, butter, cheese, and ham," Dean listed, but he had heard the little noise of surprise from Cas. "Can you get a skillet out?"

"Skillet," Castiel muttered. He had no idea what that was. "Where?"

"It's a shallow pan, on one of those shelves over there," Dean gestured to where the kitchen tool would be, across the room.

Castiel followed Dean's direction, and after looking at the items, he found it and took it off. "Alright, found it."

Dean glanced back. "Awesome. C'mere."

Castiel walked over to him and handed it to Dean. "Now what?"

"Now..." Dean turned to put it on the stove. "We let it heat up while we butter bread. How many sandwiches do you want?"

"Maybe two?" Castiel said, uncertain.

"Start with two and go from there?" Dean nodded to himself before grabbing a butter knife and passing Cas two slices of bread. "Think you can butter it? Not too much but not too little or else it'll burn."

"Yeah, I can do that," Castiel said and started at the task. He realized two sandwiches might seem too little of an amount. But he wasn't sure he could eat anymore. The day he got a burger, and then ice cream? The stomachache wasn't just from the allergy...

Dean decided he only needed two sandwiches as well and pulled out a total of eight pieces of bread - four for both, two sandwiches each. "We butter it first so it doesn't stick and burn," he explained.

Castiel nodded at the information as he finished one.

Dean was buttering his slice much faster than Cas - not a surprise - but handed him a third.

Castiel watched Dean and figured out how to copy him. He was able to get the others done faster and better looking.

Once all the bread was done, Dean nodded. “Now, we take a slice, put it in butter side down." He did this as he spoke. "Then take the cheese and ham and put it on. Then the last piece."

Castiel watched closely as Dean cooked his first sandwich, talking throughout it to explain the steps. Even if they were simple.

"You wanna try?" Dean asked as he flipped the first sandwich onto a plate.

"Yeah, I think I got it," Castiel said.

"Alright, go ahead," Dean stepped to the side.

Castiel took Dean's place and put it on the pan butter down. He was doing well for the most part, putting the cheese and ham and other bread on top. But then came the flipping... that he tried but wasn't succeeding very well.

"Here," Dean scooted to stand behind Cas, reaching around to hold his hand, guiding him with the spatula, looking over his shoulder. "You do it kinda like this... Have to go faster."

Castiel's breath caught but he watched Dean's hand and tried to follow his example. He got it under and turned it over, his hand steadier but shaker at the same time.

"There ya go, you're getting there," Dean praised, not yet stepping back. "Bit darker than we want, but that'll come with time."

Castiel looked at the flipped side of the bread to see the edges and middle were slightly burnt. It'll take time. But he noticed Dean hadn't stepped away, keeping him stuck next to the stove. Trapped, but... safe. Why did he like it? "I think I got it." Castiel said, trying to make it seem that it wasn't because of something else.

"R-right, yeah, sorry," Crap. Maybe Dean was wrong... He leaned against the island, watching Cas work on the third sandwich.

Castiel breathed a quiet sigh before turning his attention to the stove. He waited before flipping it again to check, like he had seen Dean do with his. This side was better, not as dark.

"Looks good," Dean told him, coming to check. "You're getting the hang of it."

Castiel smiled and put it on his plate. "You want to do your second one first?"

"Your choice," Dean smiled. "You think you wanna do another straight away?"

"Yeah I could," Castiel said and went to his second set and started again. "I kind of like cooking. Even if it's a simple meal."

"It can be calming, can't it? Knowing you can provide for yourself," Dean offered.

"That can be a reason, yes," Castiel said as he added the ingredients to the top.

"Being able to provide for others too," Dean added.

Castiel nodded along with Dean's examples agreeing.

"Yeah, so..." Dean suddenly felt self-conscious. "I guess that's why I like it.”

"Well, you're very good at it so I'm glad," Castiel said, testing the cooking sandwich before flipping it. A little better than before, still dark spots, but better.

Dean ducked his head at the compliment. "Thanks," he said softly.

"Of course," Castiel said honestly, then joked. "But also, because you are my main source of food and diners aren't exactly five star."

Dean laughed, though he wasn't sure if it was a joke. "I mean, free food..."

"Exactly," Castiel said and flipped the sandwich a bit later before putting it on his plate. "You're turn."

"My turn," Dean agreed, stepping in and expertly cooking his sandwich.

"Is there anything you aren't good at?" Castiel shook his head when Dean came over to the table, his sandwiches looking close to perfect.

Dean chuckled. "I'm only good at it cuz I've been doing it since I was a kid," he grinned. "Ask me to recite every president or whatever and I'm blanking."

Castiel smiled around his sandwich. "Not the brightest bulb?" He asked smirking.

"You're an ass," Dean shot back. "A lovable ass, but still an ass."

Castiel laughed at his victory but felt a little happier at Dean's choice of words.

Dean shook his head fondly before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Castiel finished his first sandwich and brushed off his hands, getting up to get a drink.

Dean unabashedly watched Cas. He rarely got to see him in so few layers - it was more common now, but still.

Castiel opened the fridge and found some orange juice Sam must have gotten the day before. Pouring himself a glass, he looked back at Dean holding it up. "You want any?"

"Sure, why not?" Dean asked as he finished the last few bites of his sandwich.

Castiel got another glass and brought them over to the table. "Thought it'd be good to have right now." He sat down, taking a drink of his glass before starting on his second sandwich.

"Good call," Dean murmured as he drank his juice.

Castiel hummed and then sat in silence while he finished. Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he put it down feeling full.

Dean finished soon after Cas and got up to put their plates in the sink. "So, what did you think of the first meal you cooked?"

"It was good. Crunchier than I wanted," Castiel smiled, "But still good."

"Well, good," Dean smiled at Cas. "Good job, Cas."

Castiel smiled a little wider at that. "So, what do we do now?"

"You wanna continue our Harry Potter marathon?" Dean suggested.

"Sure," Castiel replied. "I really like the series so far."

"Don't tell Sam, but so do I," Dean told him as he started for the entryway of the kitchen.

"Nothing to be ashamed of Dean," Castiel said, following him out the doorway.

"Still," Dean replied as they got to Cas' room. Then stepped a little closer to Cas than strictly necessary. "It's our secret, yeah?" His voice had lowered to a conspiratorial whisper.

"Yeah, sure," Castiel chuckled but noticed the lessened distance and almost shivered at his voice. "So, second movie?" He stepped away as his escape to find the disk.

"We just watched that you goof," Dean teased. Cas had definitely had... some kind of reaction? He was trying to fluster him, get a read on Cas... Dean was usually able to read most people easy enough, but Cas was confusing. So many mixed signals.

"Oh, right," Castiel said, feeling embarrassed for the first time and quickly snatched the third movie.

Dean laughed softly again before crawling back up onto the bed to wait for Cas to get the movie in and join him.

Castiel took the second movie out and put in the third. Turning back, he sat on his bed next to Dean, finding the remote.

Dean was slightly disappointed when Cas didn't sit as close to him as Dean did Cas. But that was okay. They still had five more movies after this.

They finished the third and fourth movies as they were, talking a bit about scenes. Then when it was the fifth movie, Castiel was starting to feel tired. Enough that when he sat back down, it was right beside Dean.

Dean smiled slightly as Cas sat close to him, shifting slightly nearer and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, noticing his friend's growing fatigue. Good, he wasn't the only one. He'd worked hard on the cars and was finally starting to feel it.

Castiel laid his head on Dean's shoulder as the opening scene started. The arm around his neck and shoulders encouraging it.

Oh, that surprised Dean. Cas had seemed... averse to much physical contact when he wasn't seeking comfort from nightmares. But Dean sure as hell wasn't arguing as he gently rested his head on Cas's.

Castiel smiled, this feeling a warm fuzzy and comfortable. He watched the rest of the movie like that until the seventh.

Dean got up this time to put the movie in, settling comfortably next to Cas, personal space a long-destroyed dream as they pressed together.

Castiel, with his head lower on Dean's shoulder and torso turned towards him, started drifting off. Cuddling with Dean in his mind seemed to welcome sleep then.

Dean yawned softly as he noticed Cas's drifting off. He paused the movie before carefully moving so they were laying down, Cas still pulled close to him, still cuddling.

Laying down, Castiel tiredly put his head on Dean's chest like he'd done before. It felt good to have him close.

Dean smiled as Cas shifted closer, combing a hand through his hair. This was nice...

Dean yawned again as he started drifting to sleep - maybe, for once, he'd fall asleep before Cas.

Castiel hummed at the hand and relaxed more. He was in the state between awake and asleep.

Dean tightened his arms around Cas, snuggling his face into his hair before he fell fully asleep.

Castiel wasn't very far after him, listening to Dean's heartbeat slowing and evening out.

Chapter Text

That night, Castiel had few nightmares again. In his dreams he caught flashes of his past and things that tied to a bad memory. But the rest was pleasant. Or maybe more than pleasant.

Castiel had been right about what would show up in a dream. He'd stared enough for his brain to replicate Dean shirtless again. Not noticing Castiel was there, just working on the car like before. But everything was magnified, and Castiel loved it. Maybe more than he should.

Dean slept peacefully in the real world, dreamlessly, unaware of Cas's dream. He was just happy, comfortable holding the now man in his arms.

It could have been days, hours, or minutes. Castiel couldn't tell but it was like his dream self was stuck where he was. Like he couldn't move and could only watch Dean. The way his back rippled when he leaned forward or stood up. The jeans falling a tiny bit when he bent down to get another tool Castiel didn’t know the name of. The way Dean's arms tensed when he started twisting something.

Minutes, hours, or days. But Castiel didn't care.

Real world Dean floated towards consciousness. With a yawn, he shifted and realized Cas was still here. "Mm, Cas," he mumbled, voice deep and rough from sleep. "You up?"

After what seemed like forever, dream Dean had stood up and turned around, seeing Cas. "Hey Cas. You’re up?" He wiped his hands off with a rag he had with him.

'Here I must have been asleep.' Castiel nodded, not trusting his own voice right now. Dream or not.

In real life, Dean received no reply. "Mkay," he mumbled, cuddling Cas closer.

"Okay," Dream Dean said and looked back at the car. Then back at Cas. "Come here,” he said and Castiel's feet moved without his consent. Soon enough he was standing next to Dean, his skin and scars more detailed closer up.

Castiel didn't realize that what was happening in the real world could affect what he was dreaming about.

Dean was sliding back to sleep and now was speaking and moving, his actions fueled by his half-awake state. "Like you," he mumbled, hugging Cas tight. "Want this."

Dream Dean took a step closer and put a gentle hand on Cas's arm. Castiel could feel electricity run through him at the touch. But not as much as the next words.

'I like you, Cas.' Oh, he could have melted. Dean's words on his own lips. Castiel leaned into the hand, and then the one cupping his face. They still smelled of oil, but he didn’t care. "I want to have this."

Dean hugged him and Cas hugged back, clinging to his bare skin. He couldn't help but trace along a faded scar or just feel him. Dean's unclothed upper body so close his heart could barely take it.

'I think I like you too.'

Dean hummed quietly before finally slipping back to sleep, squeezing Cas once more before he relaxed peacefully.

After a while, Castiel started shivering. Then there were tears. He clung to Dream Dean tighter, but that was the thing. It was just a dream, a fantasy. He liked Dean, perhaps more than a friend, but Dean wouldn't. He doesn't show interest, it's just who he is and how he acts.

In the real world, Castiel had started crying too. He wanted that dream to be real.

It was some quiet sound that brought Dean to actual wakefulness. He blinked in the darkness, questioning it. Where he was, what was going on.

Oh. He was in Cas's room. They'd been watching movies.

Another soft noise brought Dean out of his thoughts, and he looked at Cas to find that he was crying. Wait- crying? He must've been having a nightmare. Whatever was causing it, though, it caused Dean's heart to squeeze painfully, and he started shaking Cas, calling his name to wake him up.

Castiel woke up but that's the only thing that changed. He still had tears going down his face.

It wasn't real...

"Hey," Dean used his thumb to wipe tears from Cas's cheek then hugged him tight. "Bad dream?" He asked quietly.

Cas just hugged him back. It was the best dream, but he nodded anyway. That just made him cry more because he had to lie. Dean couldn't know about his fantasy.

"It's okay, buddy, you don't have to think about it," Dean tried to soothe Cas. "It's over. Whatever it was can't hurt you now, okay?"

'It can' but Castiel just nodded again.

Dean squeezed Cas's hand before pulling away. "Lemme get you some water, okay? Try to take deep breaths."

Castiel let him go and buried his face in his knees when Dean left. And he missed him. He fucking missed him when he left. He was pathetic but Castiel just wanted Dean close. It hurt like an angel blade, but he couldn't help it.

Dean was back within mere moments, frowning when he saw Cas balled up on himself. "Hey," he called quietly, scooting up on the bed, close to Cas, an arm around him, encouraging the former angel to lean against him. Dean firmly ignored the excited twirl his insides performed at the proximity. Not the time.

"I got water," Dean murmured, holding the water bottle he'd brought in and uncapping it. "Look up so you can drink." He could feel Cas shaking and figured he'd be too unsteady to hold the bottle himself.

Castiel looked up and let Dean help him drink. He didn't trust his hands either and then leaned his head on Dean's shoulder.

Dean set the water bottle on the nightstand when Cas was done, wrapping him in a sideways hug. "It's okay now," he repeated. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Castiel shook his head. "No."

"Alright." That, Dean could understand. He had plenty of bad dreams and nightmares that he'd locked in the deep recesses of his mind, never to be brought to the light of day.

No way he could tell Dean. So, Castiel just laid in his arms. It was probably the last thing Castiel should do but it was the only thing he wanted to do.

"There we go," Dean whispered as Cas started to relax. "It's over, Cas, you're okay."

Dean was right. It was over. It wouldn’t happen, not in real life. Not where Cas wanted it. This... this was just platonic.

"Whoa, whoa, Cas," Dean noticed Cas getting worked up again. "Hey, calm down. Breathe, okay? I'm here, it's alright. I'm here. You're okay."

Castiel hadn't realized he began to panic again and tried to calm down. Dean's words weren't helping so he just closed his eyes and listen to Dean's breath. Silent tears were trailing down his cheeks, but he tried his best.

Dean gently shushed Cas, pulling him close, hugging him tight. "It's okay," he whispered rocking side to side methodically. "It's okay, Cas, I'm here, you can let it out.”

Castiel wanted that to be real. He was just getting used to attraction and telling the difference between emotions. But this he knew. And now Castiel knew the uneasy feeling before at the diner had been jealousy. And that Dean had been making him aroused. Castiel liked Dean. Angel him just didn’t know that.

"You're thinking," Dean chided gently. "You should stop doing that. Wanna know how I can tell?"

"How?" Castiel mumbled after a few moments, finding his voice.

"You get tense," Dean murmured. "You stop breathing for a second. You kinda get... drifty." Dean pulled back from the hug to look Cas in the eye. "Stop thinking, okay? Just be."

Castiel looked in Deans green eyes. "It's hard," he said quietly. Everything about this just got more complicated.

"I know," Dean sighed softly, pulling Cas close again. "I know it is. I wish I could help."

'I don’t think you could.' Castiel couldn't help going back to thinking but leaned in close to Dean again. He just couldn’t help it.

"You're doing it again," Dean chuckled softly even as he pulled Cas close, the former angel almost sitting on his lap. Without thinking, he nuzzled his face into the crook between Cas's neck and shoulder. "Thoughtful bastard," he mumbled, voice full of amusement.

Castiel leaned his head against Dean's. He let out a small exhale of a laugh at Deans tone.

Dean breathed in deep, content to stay where he was, face buried in Cas's shoulder.

Castiel after a while noticed Dean hadn't moved back yet. He could be too tired to know what he was doing. Dean didn’t like him like that. He was just comfortable. But Castiel didn't try to make him more awake. He was greedy and took anything Dean would give him, any physical contact.

Dean was, in fact, wide awake. And was very aware of what he was doing. His arms looped over Cas's shoulders, he just tugged him closer.

Castiel's heart skipped, maybe a few beats, at the change. He wanted this. He did. Castiel /wanted/ everything. But he was scared.

So, Castiel pulled back, gently to get off the bed. He said the first excuse he could think of which was 'bathroom'. Making him very thankful he was human now.

Dean felt the loss sharply. Very, very sharply. However, it gave him time to think.

What was he doing?? Cuddling up to Cas, draping himself all over him without even knowing if Cas was really interested. Or if he was just confused. He... probably wasn't interested. Dean was probably creeping him out, making him feel weird but he was too shy to say anything.

Yeah. That settled it. No more flirting, no more invading Cas's space without invitation. He didn't want Cas to think he was a creep.

Castiel stared into the mirror at himself. He looked a mess, red stains down his cheeks and his hair a mess. Though that wasn't really new. Castiel's heart was going crazy, trying to calm it down.

He was scared. Castiel wanted to be greedy. To take all Deans affections for himself, to just enjoy them. But it wouldn't go anywhere else. Wouldn't leave the bedroom or the nighttime. They'd get up and it’d be back to normal. Except Castiel wouldn’t. No, he'd think about it all day.

Castiel took deep breaths and wiped at his eyes as new tears started. Calming down enough, he flushed the toilet to seem like he had actually and let the sink water run.

Dean glanced up as Cas came out. Then he got up. Cas looked awful. Probably still shaken from the dream he'd had, Dean half laying on him wouldn't have helped.

"I'll go make some hot chocolate," he murmured. "Might help you calm down."

Castiel nodded at him and fell back onto the bed.

Dean left. The whole time he made the chocolate, he was screaming at himself. Cas had to get used to being human! And sleeping! And having dreams! And everything else! What was he doing, trying to get with the guy!? No wonder he was putting distance between them, he was overwhelmed and confused!!

Castiel had to stop himself and turned over to his side of the bed. The other smelled like Dean. Like he belonged there. Like he had made his claim to Castiel's bed unintentionally. Castiel dared to dream it was intentional.

Dean eventually came back with two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream - he checked; soy free. Cas was a lot quieter than he was before, almost mopey.

Castiel heard the door creak and turned around to see Dean back and with two cups. He sat up against the headboard.

"Hey," Dean greeted softly, passing a mug. He sat back on the bed, a respectful distance away.

"Hey," Castiel copied and blew at his steam. He was sad but thankful that Dean wasn't as close.

Dean quietly sipped at his hot chocolate.

Castiel followed his example and took a sip. It was hot but it was a good hot. A few sips later he started to calm down and relax.

"So... do you want to watch the last movie?" Dean eventually broke the silence.

"Sure, I'm good with that," Castiel said, pulling the mug away to speak.

Dean nodded and got up, putting his mug on the nightstand and getting the next movie in, settling back on the bed.

Still a distance away from Cas.

Throughout the movie, Castiel could feel the difference. The space between him and Dean after being so close. But it was to be expected. His nightmare was over and last night during the movie they had been tired. So, Castiel just tried to pay attention to the movie.

Somehow, throughout the movie, Dean gravitated to Cas's side and ended up with his head on his friend's shoulder. He wasn't sure how it had happened.

Castiel didn't know either, but the part of him seeking it won. He didn't protest or move away from Dean like earlier. Castiel felt... calmer when Dean got closer. He relaxed into it and kept watching the movie.

Dean felt Cas relax and leaned into him more, glancing up slightly. Cas wasn't protesting...

Castiel was content with that, smiling a little, just a bit. Taking in the physical change as much as he could before the doubt seeped back in.

Dean hesitantly snuggled closer. He wanted... he just wanted to be with Cas.

And there it was. The deep thoughts and dangerous hopes. The two were only this close sleeping or at the end of a movie. Both when they were tired. Castiel's smile fell and leaned his head against the headboard but didn't disturb Dean. He was tired, that was all, so he let him rest while the movie came closer to the end.

Dean sighed quietly, happy with their new situation. He didn't know what Cas was thinking, if he had he would've said something. Dean found that he wasn't very tired, surprisingly. Not yet - the chocolate must have woken him up.

Castiel on the other hand, the chocolate had relaxed him. The movie close to being finished, he pulled the remote closer and settled down, nestling in with Dean. It didn't take long for him to start dosing off, enjoying the time with Dean that he got only from this.

Dean was surprised when Cas started cuddling up to him again and pulled him closer. Thinking he was asleep; Dean couldn't stop himself from gently kissing Cas's head.

Castiel's breath caught; his heart almost stopped. Did-

"Sleep well, Cas," Dean whispered.

Castiel kept his eyes shut and stayed still. He fell asleep five minutes later but not completely peaceful. Having something on his mind. Could he?

Dean sighed then yawned. He was wiped out. He snuggled Cas close for a few minutes before shifting, laying down more to sleep better, this time curled up half on top of Cas, instead of under.

Castiel didn't mind the change before he had been completely asleep. He'd take whatever tired Dean would give.

Chapter Text

Dean didn't know what time I was. Time was irrelevant when you were asleep. And even more when you're trapped in a nightmare...

/"No, please! Please stop!"
"Oh he begs so pretty, don't he?"
"Please, no! I can't take it anymore!"/

Castiel woke up to Dean moving and jerking beside him and looked down to see his face tensed. He's having a nightmare! Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's back and pulled him closer. "Dean, it's ok, you're ok," Castiel said close to his ear. "You're safe, please wake up." Castiel wasn't experienced in helping other people with nightmares, so he just held Dean close and tried to wake him up.

/A broad, brutish, burly man stood with a whip. His companion, thin and wiry, stood with a knife, gaze dark with sick, evil lust as he stared at the blade.

And there was Dean, trussed up on the rack, body laced with oozing sores and bleeding cuts and lashes. Hellfire lapped at his skin as he sobbed cries for mercy. None of which was given./

"Dean, please, I'm here," Castiel shushed and rocked them slightly. "I'm here, it's just a dream, it's not real," he told him as Dean kept shivering in his sleep.

Dean whimpered loudly in his sleep, tensing and making noises.

/"Now, we're being rude, aren't we?" The wiry demon. He seemed to be the leader. "Keeping all this fun to ourselves. We have a visitor!" Dean's heart froze when they brought in the 'visitor'.

It was Cas, chained up and beaten./

Dean jolted awake, his breath coming in short gasps. He struggled to get out of whatever was restraining him, not realizing where he was.

"Hey," Castiel wasn't surprised when Dean had a mini attack when he woke up. But he kept his arms around Dean and smoothed his hand down Deans back, gently rubbing up and down. "You’re safe Dean. Wherever you were, you aren’t there."

Dean blinked his eyes open and found that Cas was right there. Whole, not wounded, and holding him. Dean felt a sob bubbling up inside him as he threw him arms around Cas, squeezing tight. He couldn't bear to see him so wounded again.

"Hey, shh," Castiel said softly, pulling Dean closer when he hugged him. "I've got you."

"You're okay," Dean mumbled fearfully. "You gotta be okay."

Something clicked. Was he in the dream? "I’m ok, I promise. I'm safe too," Castiel told him.

Dean nodded, face pressed against Cas' chest. "You're okay," Dean mumbled tearfully. "You gotta be okay."

"I'm ok." And laced his other hand through Dean's hair. "I’m safe, you’re safe. We're okay."

Dean's breathing eventually started to slow, yet he stayed cuddled up to Cas. "We're okay."

Castiel repeated it again but he didn't move either. He just laid there, Dean pressed close to his chest, his hand in Deans hair.

"Can't lose you again," Dean mumbled as he listened to Cas' steady heartbeat. "I can't, not again."

"You won't." But Castiel's heart started beating a bit faster. "I'll never leave you."

Dean didn't acknowledge the change of Cas' heart rate, just hugging him tighter. "Good."

"Good," Castiel repeated quieter. "You better not leave either," he said but his tone was more playful.

"Never gonna," Dean replied, still serious.

Castiel smiled down at him softly. "Good," he whispered and just held him close.

Dean eventually started to calm down, curled up in Cas's arms.

"Do you want to try and sleep or do something else?" Castiel asked Dean.

"No sleep, " Dean mumbled, shaking his head. "No sleep."

"Do you want to watch another movie?" Castiel asked, then thought for a moment. "Where's that bag you brought in last time? Is it still in your room?"

"Impala," Dean replied softly. "Maybe movie."

"You want to look through the movies while I go get that for you?" Cas suggested. There might be something in there that will help.

Dean didn't really want to let go. He momentarily tightened his grip on Cas before pulling away just slightly. "Okay."

"I'll be back soon." Castiel said, having registered the tug Dean had done. He left his room to go to the garage.

Dean whined softly when Cas left but got up to find a movie.

Castiel looked around the Impala till he found the bag hidden under Dean's seat. Pulling it out and shutting the driver door, he looked down the hall before digging into it. If anyone, he had Dean to blame for liking the dark chocolate he had in his stash. But when he found it, there was a blank paper next to it. Castiel picked it up and turned it around.

But it wasn't blank.
And it wasn't just a piece of paper.
It was a picture.
And it was /him/.

Castiel just stared at it, questions racing through his head as to why Dean had this in his hidden stash bag. He kept thinking about it as he put it back, as he grabbed the chocolate bar, as he walked down the hall, and then opened Deans door.

But Castiel didn't say anything.

Dean looked up, a guarded expression on his face as Cas opened the door, but relaxed when he saw who it was. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape as he searched through movies. He eventually decided on Pitch Perfect and put it in.

“Tell nobody that I willingly watched this," Dean ordered.

Castiel looked at the cover and got a good idea what it was about. He chuckled but nodded. "Sure, it'll be our little secret,” he agreed.

Dean offered Cas a thin smile as he crawled onto the bed, pulling his blanket tight around himself.

Castiel followed and sat on top of the covers, letting Dean hog most of them all he wants. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed as the movie started.

Dean still felt shaken from his dream and shifted to lay against Cas, eyes closed.

Castiel put an arm around Dean's shoulders and pulled him lightly. Castiel knows he liked contact comfort after a bad dream, so he just let Dean get comfortable on him. But his mind wandered towards the photo and to what Dean was doing now. He wanted to dare to dream, but he knows it would only hurt more.

Dean was still shivering, pressed up against Cas, burying his face in his shoulder at one point.

The movie was playing, music being an obvious theme. Castiel kept Dean close, despite the heat crawling on his cheeks.

Dean eventually turned his head to watch the screen, quietly singing along.

Castiel smiled as Dean sang. It was quieter than he had heard before. Most of the time it was loud and obnoxious to annoy Sam, but now it was soft. Castiel was close to tuning the movie out to just listen to Dean.

Dean, by the end of the movie, was almost sitting on Cas, he'd shifted so close.

Castiel hadn't fully realized their situation till Dean moved closer, again, to almost on his lap. His smile over took his face as he tightened his arms around Dean and let his head fall. The credits rolling I'm the TV, Castiel would be happy falling asleep like this.

Dean had calmed down and, given his terribly restless sleep, he was still drowsy.

Castiel started to nod off before Dean did, his chin and cheek falling to the top of Dean's.

Dean startled slightly when Cas' head hit his but soon relaxed - Cas was falling asleep, like he was. It was okay.

- - - - - - - - - - -

A little late into the morning, Castiel slowly came to. Squinting his eyes open, he found Dean draped right on top of him. He was still enough asleep to not care, only letting Dean be even though he adjusted a bit for his back.

Dean hummed in his sleep, comfortable and happy. He was with Cas, he had no hunts... Peace

Castiel lazily smiled down at him and his soft hum. Castiel ran a hand softly through Dean's hair, slowly waking up more.

Dean yawned and cuddled closer to Cas, waking up but not wanting to

"Morning," Castiel muttered, rubbing at his eyes as he noticed Dean waking.

"What if no?" Dean mumbled. "Don't want morning,"

Castiel chuckled. "Now you're acting like me."

"Tha's okay," Dean hummed, cuddling closer to Cas. "You're good."

Castiel's cheeks flushed slightly, much more awake than earlier now and aware of the situation. "Yeah?"

"Mhm," Dean was clearly half asleep. "Real good."

"I don't know if being grumpy in the morning can be 'real good'." Castiel smiled, his heart beating a little faster.

"Hmm, maybe. But other 'n that. Real good guy," Dean told him tiredly, eyes closed still.

"I'd hope I'm a good guy." Castiel said in a playful manner. "Wouldn't be able to stick around if I wasn't."

"Better stay good," Dean warned sleepily. "Don't wanna lose you."

Castiel chuckled and ran his hand through Dean's hair again. "I don't want to lose you either so don't worry about it." More than you could ever know I can't lose you.

"Mm, good," Dean snuggled somehow closer to Cas. "Comfy."

Castiel's heart ached but let the half asleep Dean hug closer to his chest. It hurt but he wanted to be greedy. To enjoy it before Dean fully woke up and realized what he was doing. So Castiel wrapped his arms around the man's back and just stayed there.

As Dean slowly woke up, he didn't move away. Cas wasn't protesting, he was happy like this, so why move? Dean was comfortable. He liked this. He was at peace.

Dean never got to feel like this. Call him selfish, but he would hold onto it.

Eventually though, life decides otherwise when Castiel's stomach growls for food. He knows he should get up, and that it was possibly past breakfast time, but he stayed. Just 5 more minutes of Dean...

"Don't wanna get up," Dean groaned as Cas's stomach growled. He was getting hungry too but... He didn't want to get up.

"Yeah, you're definitely like me," Castiel commented before trying to sit up, Dean covering his torso and legs. "Come on Dean."

"Nooo," Dean fussed, unwilling.

"Dean, come on. You're heavy and I'm hungry." Cas told him, barely having moved at all because of him.

Dean sighed loudly. "Fine."

Castiel grinned and sat up, Dean had rolled off just to be on the bed still, refusing consciousness still. Castiel looked down at him. Dean looked so relaxed and carefree. Grumpy, but it wasn't something the not-so-new human got to see very much. Until recently at least.

"Stupid humanity needing food," Dean grumbled, tangled in the blankets

"Yes, very stupid," Castiel mused and stood up stretching. He looked back at Dean, the covers messily over him and fought back a laugh. He rounded the bed till he was at the end and took out his phone silently.

"Force to get up," Dean continued his sleepy, grumbly rambling. "Don't wanna."

"Mhm," Castiel agreed, going along as he got out his camera and took a picture. Or maybe a few, and a short video. "Well I'll be back," Castiel said, his phone back in his pocket and went to the door.

"Nn," Dean whined, trying to go after Cas. However, being mostly asleep and tangled in blankets did not work to his favor and he ended up tumbling off the bed.

Which worked quite well to wake him up.

Castiel went to the kitchen and the first thing he did was start the coffee maker. The drink brewing, he made probably the only thing he knew how to cook; Grilled cheese and ham. By the time he made two sandwiches, the coffee had dinged done.

When he was putting the food on one plate and filling two mugs of coffee, he couldn't help but feel for a moment domestic. Making almost breakfast in bed for him and Dean. One of the mugs done, he took out his phone and looked at the photo. Dean on his stomach, hair going every which way, opposite leg and arm peaking out of the blanket over him...

Castiel quickly put it away and finished up, bringing the food and drinks down to Dean's room.

Dean was slowly unraveling himself from the blanket when Cas came in. His head popped up, distracted momentarily from his efforts. "Hi, Cas," he murmured, then returned his escaping the blankets.

"You losing the fight against the covers?" Castiel mused, trying not to laugh again as he put the things on the bed side table.

"No," Dean tried to defend himself. "No trouble."

"You sure?" Castiel asked doubtfully, watching Dean struggle from where he was standing.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dean replied, finally getting free. "See?"

Castiel shook his head and walked over to the bed and the night stand. "Brought offerings of food and coffee for your 'success'." He said and picked up his mug of coffee.

"Ooh, yum," Dean got up and came over. "What is there?"

"I only knew how to make what I did yesterday," Castiel said then took a sip, sighing at his coffee. "Did a lot better."

"Well it looks good," Dean replied, picking up the other mug of coffee and taking a sip.

"Thank you." Castiel picked up one of the sandwiches and sat a bit away from Dean with his mug of coffee. "Wasn't sure if you'd get up anytime soon."

"Probably needed to," Dean sighed, taking another sip of coffee before he grabbed a sandwich.

Castiel nodded. "We've been sleeping a lot the past three or four days." He concluded, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Dean hummed. "I mean, I'm not complaining because it was with you, so..."

Castiel was pretty sure his heart stopped for a moment. Or two. Oh. He took a quick sip of his coffee. "I-I'm not either. Complaining."

Dean gave Cas a glance, noticing how his speech was somewhat stuttery, but didn't say anything as he ate his sandwich.

The two sat in silence for a bit, just eating and drinking. But in that quiet, the gears in Castiel's head were turning.

"You're thinking hard," Dean eventually spoke up. "What about?"

Castiel looked at him before at his almost empty mug. "Nothin', it's fine."

"If you say so," Dean shrugged as he finished his sandwich

It wasn't fine though. Castiel didn't know what was real and what was fantasy. If Dean truly meant his words or if there was the non-romantic meaning to them. Everything was beginning to be too much for the ex-angel. But this he knew was right, it felt right, but it was so painful.

Castiel kept it to himself though and took another bite of his sandwich till he was done also.

Dean almost said something again about how hard Cas was thinking, how whatever his mind was on didn't seem pleasant, but he didn't. He just watched him, eating calmly, somewhat confusedly.

When Castiel drank the rest of his coffee, he stood up and took the plate off the bedside. Then he turned to Dean. "Want me to take that?" Pointing to Dean's mug.

"Oh - yeah, sure, if you could," Dean handed the mug over with a smile. "Thanks, Cas."

"Of course. Now get dressed or shower. I think you've been in bed long enough," Castiel told him, a smile on his face when he left.

Dean grumbled after Cas, but got up like he was told. Unwilling to go too far, he ruffled through Cas' drawers to steal a t-shirt and sweatpants before going to use his friend's shower - he didn't think he'd mind.

Cas put the dishes in the sink and then leaned his hands against the counter. He took a few deep breaths, just staying like that for a few minutes before turning on the water and starting the dishes. It was a calming reflex he had, a habit, and it definitely wasn't denied from the other two. It just gave Castiel time to think and have his hands moving.

Dean finished the shower before Cas came back and went to find him, dressed in his clothes, smelling of his soap. But he didn't think about that, just set on finding Cas.

Castiel dried off his hands while the few plates and cups dried on a towel spread over the counter. He turned around to go back to Dean's room to him walking into the room. "Hey D..." The rest of what he was going to say was lost when he got a better look at him. That was his shirt. Castiel remembered picking it out when Sam and Dean took him shopping. And, was that his sweatpants too?

"Hey," Dean flushed self-consciously when Cas stopped. "Uh, I borrowed some of your clothes... If that's not okay I can go change."

"No," Castiel said suddenly, surprising himself before saying more normally. "I mean it's fine. Just make sure they don't go in your laundry pile."

Dean blinked then smiled. "Sure thing," he replied then came over to where Cas was. "What'cha doin'?"

"Just finished doing dishes," Castiel told him. "Sam's out again I think. On his run."

"That freak," Dean joked.

"Or he's just being smart." Castiel raised his eyebrows at Dean as he leaned against the counter.

Dean thought about it. "Nah, let's go with freak."

Castiel chuckled at Dean's running tease for his younger brother. "Alright, fine."

Dean smirked at Cas. "Any plans today?"

"Not really, no. Haven't had to think very much the past few days. You?" Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged. "Might finish up on the car I was working on, I'm thinking."

Castiel tried not to flush at that thought but his mind did go blank for a few moments. "Sounds good." In more ways than one. "I might look into those other movies Sam told me about. I have a lot to catch up on the movie versions of the books."

"Sounds good to me," Dean replied. "Might come hang out again, if you're okay with it, after I've finished up for the day."

"Sure, that's fine," Castiel agreed, nodding.

"Great," Dean replied, getting up from where he was leaning on the counter. He left to work on cars, quiet music playing in the garage.

He eventually pulled his shirt off again, this time on a creeper under a car.

Castiel had been watching a Lord of the Rings movie but his focus was split. He stuck through it until he paused it, dropped the remote and left his room. He couldn't get it out of his mind, and he knows he shouldn't be doing this because it was just going to hurt him more.

He was making his way back down to the garage when he started slowing down when he saw a label beside a door.

Security

Ohhh, he was so going to hell for this.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Dean was working under the car when he realized he was missing a wrench. With an annoyed sigh, he came out from under the car, going over to his toolbox to search for a wrench

"Damn," Castiel swore under his breath when Dean pulled out from under the car. He stood up, and Castiel immediately thanked his instinct to watch on camera instead because Dean was, again, shirtless. And Castiel was, again, blushing like a love sick idiot.

Dean muttered as he ruffled through his toolbox before finding his wrench and laying back down on the creeper, rolling back and forth for a few seconds, having fun before going back under the car.

Castiel tracked Dean's movements as much as the camera would let him. He was beautiful, along with his focus on the tools and to the car. Castiel's heart was racing when Dean turned back around and got back on the rolling thing he had been on before. But then chuckled when he was rolling around for a little before going back under.

"Dork..." Castiel smiled softly.

Dean worked under the car for a while before crawling out and getting in, turning the key to check how it ran. He burst into a triumphant grin as it turned on, running smoothly.

Castiel didn't know he could smile wider, but the look of satisfaction on Dean's face when the car started working was worth it. He looked so happy and proud of himself, looking over the car and checking knobs and buttons on the dash to see if they still worked too.

"Hell yeah," Dean whispered as he backed the car out of the spot it was in, where he was working on it at, and parked it back in it's normal spot before looking through the other cars, trying to decide which to pick.

And then Dean was off again, finding another project. Castiel sighed and started to move away, figuring he'd been enough of a stalker.

Dean looked through the cars before finding one that wouldn't turn on - his next focus. He poked around for a little while, trying to find problems and repairing what he found.

Castiel took one last look at the screen before turning it off and going back to his room. The last thing he wanted was to be caught by Dean watching him.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A few hours later, Dean called it quits. It was hot, he was sweaty and covered in oil.... He was done. And so, like he had the day before, he grabbed his shirt and went to check on Cas.

Castiel heard a knock on his door later and looked away from the screen. He was on one of the Lord of the Rings movie when he said they could come in. 'They' probably being Dean.

Dean poked his head in. "Hey," he greeted. "I just finished, so..."

The door opened and Castiel lost his breath. He kept his mouth shut before he could swear again and kept his eyes above Dean's neck. "How'd it go?" Like he wasn't spying on him for 15 minutes.

Dean leaned against the door frame, seemingly unaware of what he was doing to Cas. "I got one of them fixed, this next one is gonna take a while for me to get done and working again."

Castiel was distracted by the suppressed pride on Dean's face. But only for a moment when Dean crossed his arms, his upper arms taking his attention until he quickly caught himself and looked away a bit, nodding. "That's good. Are you planning on driving them or just going to fix them up?" Castiel asked.

"I'm not sure yet," Dean replied. "It'll be good to have now than one car to drive, that way we can go out when someone else is using a car,"

"That is true. Easier for people to be in different locations faster," Castiel said, looking back at the TV to not look at Dean. The scene had been paused somewhere in the middle of the movie.

"So which movie are you watching?" Dean asked, finally noticing that Cas was acting weird.

"The second Lord of the Rings," Castiel said. "You were gone for a long time." The two movies combined 6 hours and he was halfway through the second, being around 4-5 hours.

Dean nodded. "Cool. I like Lord of the Rings,"

Castiel nodded after him. "It's interesting, yes."

"Well, I'm gonna grab a shower," Dean said. "Mind if I join you after?"

"Yeah, sure. Want me to keep it paused?" Castiel asked, tilting his head towards the TV. "Or start over?"

"It's up to you, I've seen the movies a lot, so,"

"Alright. Go clean yourself and come back," Castiel told him. "And bring your secret snack bag with you."

"You know, it won't be a 'secret' snack bag if we talk about it," Dean laughed as he left to shower. When he finished, he grabbed the bag, but then froze.

He'd forgotten about the picture. Cas had been in the bag. Did Cas see the picture!?

While Dean was gone, Castiel had paused the movie and sat waiting. Eventually he took out his phone, unlocking it and going to the camera. It was stupid, how such a silly picture of Dean being a mess made him so happy. He sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, turning off his phone.

He's hopeless...

Dean came in with the bag and sat on the bed.

"Hey, Cas..." He started hesitantly. "Yesterday, you grabbed something out of here. Did you... see a picture?"

Castiel froze. Crap. He couldn't lie, he was terrible at lying.

"Yeah, I did."

"Fuck," Dean groaned quietly as his face, very red, fell into his hands.

Castiel watched his reaction curiously. He was... embarrassed? Castiel could see a tint of red on Dean's ears, his cheeks being covered by his hands. Maybe...

"It's fine," Castiel said quietly. "I didn't mind, so I didn't say anything."

Dean glanced at Cas, face still red. Then he looked down again. "It's fuckin embarrassing," he mumbled.

Castiel was silent for a little bit. "Can... can you tell me why you have it?" He asked carefully, hope like a sliver lining on his tongue.

Dean heard the hope in his voice but curled in on himself, groaning quietly. "I’m sure you don't feel the same way."

Castiel looked up at that. That sounded... no, could he? Castiel started searching around the bed, finding his phone and picking it up.

Dean didn't notice what Cas was doing, curled up in his ball of humiliation

Castiel quickly went to his camera and found the photo. He just looked at it for a bit, biting his bottom lip glancing at Dean before shaking him gently. "Look at me."

Dean, still red-faced, glanced up.

"I, uh, I have this." Castiel turned his phone towards Dean, his cheeks red slightly. "Took it this morning..."

Dean looked at the picture and blushed wildly. "W-why?" He squeaked

Castiel shrugged a little. "You're behavior made me laugh." Then he smiled through his shyness. "I have a video too."

"Seriously?" Dean groaned.

Castiel laughed a little. "It was a rare opportunity. I couldn't let it pass by," he defended.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine, okay, whatever," Hopefully, Cas would drop it out the reason why Dean had the picture.

Castiel looked at Dean, biting his lip again. "I also have it," he said nervously. "Because I like when you're like that. Relaxed and comfortable." He just couldn't say it directly. He was so scared he was wrong. "And I wanted to be able to keep the image."

"Yeah?" Dean asked softly, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.

Castiel nodded a little. "Only get to see it when you're tired... I like it."

Dean blinked a little. Perfect opportunity, it was the perfect opportunity, say it Dean, say it!

The silence between them started to grow unbearable for Castiel and he turned away a little. "Being human has been difficult," he told Dean but not directly. "The nightmares... the only thing that has helped me is you. Being near you... they are happie-"

"I like you," Dean blurted before slamming his eyes shut.

There was a pause. A long, quiet pause. Then Castiel started smiling. It was real... "I like you too." It was real. It wasn't just a fantasy, not a dream.

Dean pried his eyes open to look at Cas. "Really?"

Castiel nodded. "Y-yeah. I think I do."

Dean smiled a bit. "Awesome," he whispered, giddy.

Castiel laughed at Dean's choice of words. "I suppose that's one way to put it." The shyness sloping down slowly.

Dean slowly looked at Cas. "So... What now?"

"Well. The movie, if you still wanted," Castiel said.

"Sounds good to me," Dean smiled.

Castiel smiled and found the remote, moving back to the headboard. He took the bag from beside Dean quickly too on his way.

"Hey!" Dean laughed as Cas snatched the bag. "Rude."

"I asked for it," Castiel defended and searched through it. Moments later he pulled out one of the chocolate bars he had before.

"Still," Dean grinned even as he grabbed a chocolate bar for himself.

"Hey, hey, mine," Castiel told him when he took one.

"Now who do you think bought this?" Dean replied.

"Who made it possible for you to buy it?" Castiel sassed. He had raised Dean from Hell after all.

"Oh, you're pulling that card?" Dean smirked, raising a brow.

"Yes, now gimme. They are good," Castiel told him.

"You already have one!"

- - - - -
Cas's Actor; (Cas fighting Dean for a candy bar that Dean got him to like)

Dean's Actor; (I know)
- - - - - -

Castiel squinted at him. "This is all your fault," he said before opening his candy.

"Don't forget, I got those for me," Dean joked.

"Don't care," Castiel told him and took a bite.

Dean rolled his eyes and opened his own chocolate bar.

Castiel picked the remote back up and started the movie again, smiling. Happy finally.