Chapter Text
Kaz knew it was coming.
He had always been semi-prepared for the day the Queen’s Plague would return to Ketterdam. He wished he could be better equipped, but ultimately there was no way to stab or torture a curse.
He hadn’t seen a day of sickness since that day on the bank. Part of him wondered if he ever would again. Perhaps surviving the plague made him immune or immortal. Either way, he didn’t have much fear of it. He wouldn’t let himself.
“I’ve heard it’s bad.”
Except for the fact Inej was here.
“It can be,” he agreed, trying not to sound strained or panicked. Kaz respected her far too much to order her about on this matter - to snap at her to get back in the Wraith or beg her to remain confined in his rooms at the Slat, so he did the next best thing: visited some friends.
“You told them we were coming, right?” Inej asked, twisting her braid as she looked up at the Van Eck estate. Kaz had not. He hadn’t planned on seeing either of them up until he heard about the first case of the plague 10 minutes ago. Perhaps he was acting to presumptively, but the idea of Inej….
“They’ll be excited to see you,” he said instead, not letting himself focus on the worst. He’d do that later..when he had more time to properly plan for worst-case scenario.. For now, he would be getting her to safety.
“I’ve missed them,” Inej said brightly. She didn’t seem upset by the idea Kaz was pretty much isolating the four of them in a house until the sickness passed. Then again, she adored Jesper and had always liked Wylan. This could be fun for her.
Kaz would….get through it. Bracing himself, he knocked on the door.
“And here we thought that Kaz was going to keep you all to himself,” Wylan said as a greeting. He didn’t seem surprised by their impromptu entrance, nor Kaz’s announcement they were staying for a while. As per usual, he welcomed them with open arms. Wylan even sent all the servants home until the plague passed to ensure nobody inside could spread it. It was just them trapped in a mansion with fine furniture and safety.
….why didn't Wylan hire a Grisha healer? He should have a Grisha healer.
“Where’s Jes?” Inej asked as they settled in, and Kaz started to walk around, shutting windows and jamming cloth under doors. Nobody commented on it.
“Getting supplies. He had the same idea as Kaz with staying locked down for a bit. Wanted to get some food and stuff to last us,” Wylan shrugged. Kaz relaxed marginally at that. That had been the next task on his list, actually. It seemed as if the lack of gambling had allowed Jesper to finally get one step ahead of him… for now.
Jesper didn’t show up for another hour. Technically, he didn’t show up at all. Crates of food just appeared outside with a nervous-looking man carrying a note.
“Stay back,” Kaz warned. The man looked healthy enough, but he wasn’t risking it. “Did Jesper send you?”
“Yes!” the man said quickly, shifting back. “He had assumed Mr. Van Eck would be alone, so he asked me to read this letter...” he trailed off as Kaz held out his hand. The man practically threw the paper at him and scrambled away. Rolling his eyes, Kaz looked down to find Jesper’s loopy handwriting in front of him.
Darling Wylan, my favorite merchling, love of my life, most attractive bomb expert alive (Kaz got the feeling Jesper had relished in the fact he was making someone read this out loud) - I have tragically noticed my body is not quite up to standard. I’m not saying I have the plague, but I am saying I’m going to be staying in the guest rooms very far from your lovely face just in case. Try not to worry. Also, don’t be surprised if Kaz drops by with thinly veiled attempts to use the house as a panic room. Inej is visiting, and you know how he is...but in case you’ve forgotten, I’ll say it: he’s a foul bastard who found love (hi, Kaz. I have a feeling you’ll end up also hearing this letter as well).
Be safe. Don’t visit me. See you soon. Love you.
Sincerely,
Dashing, tragically handsome, talented Jesper
Underneath was a rushed picture of Jesper shooting his guns. Kaz rolled his eyes. The exasperation only stayed a moment, though. Jesper was sick....potentially. Kaz doubted this would be well received.
“I’m going to him.”
Kaz was often right.
“Have you had the Queen’s Plague?” Kaz asked reasonably. Wylan paused and shook his head. “Then you’re not seeing him.”
“I can check on him,” Inej said thoughtfully. “I’ve had the King’s Plague when I was younger. They’re pretty much the same-”
“They’re not,” Kaz told her. Despite the names, the two illnesses shared few similarities. Inej looked like she might argue, so Kaz just bit the bullet. “I’ve had it. I’ll go,” he sighed. He wouldn’t be able to return, sadly. His time with Inej was spoiled. He supposed it was better than Wylan and Inej being exposed.
“Kaz,” Wylan began skeptically. “You can’t just walk in there and bask in his misfortune. You need to actually take care of him.”
“I will ensure he doesn’t die easily.” That was the most he could offer. Wylan went eerily tense. “I can’t control the plague, but I’ll do my best,” he rectified. Inej put a hand on Wylan’s arm. That seemed to relax him a bit.
“Please be nice,” he said weakly. Kaz rolled his eyes but nodded. He made a mental note to torment Jesper as soon as he was back on his feet for ruining the day. Maybe he’d arrange for someone to steal those precious guns of his for a bit.
The guest rooms were technically a separate house, far from where Wylan and Inej were. Kaz entered with even breaths, noting Jesper’s bag by the door. It was fine. No bodies were inside...yet.
The inside of the first room was painfully hot. The fever must have set in. Kaz swallowed and moved forward to put it out.
“That better not be you, Wylan!”
Jesper. Kaz went through a long hallway to a smaller room that was a bit in shambles. The bed was squashed against the wall with mounds of blankets. He shifted, and Kaz peered over at him warily.
“Unfortunately, it’s me.”
Jesper looked…. He looked like he belonged on the Reaper’s Barge. It made Kaz sick. His stomach swirled. The only thing he wanted to do was run and shut the door. The smell of corpses filled his nose, and he gagged, turning to leave when he heard something shift.
Right. Jesper was alive. He was alive. Alive.
“…Kaz?” Jesper muttered, sounding weak and vaguely confused. “What are you-?” he began, and Kaz forced himself a few steps closer. “Get the fuck out of here,” he mumbled.
“I’ve already had the plague,” Kaz said and very carefully sat down. Alive. He was alive. This was fine. Alive.
“Have you?” Jesper asked - slurred, practically. “Any tips on how to make it suck less?”
“Don’t lay on top of a dead body?” Kaz said, not really thinking as he glanced around the room to distract himself. He should have considered what seeing Jesper like this would do to him.
“What?” Jesper asked and then winced. “So cold,” he whispered and went to pull up the covers. Kaz yanked them off. “Hey!”
“You’re trying to break the fever. Not feed it.”
“….cold.”
“Get over it,” Kaz told him flatly. Jesper made a face at him, but it was hard to be offended with his skin glistening with sweat and chest heaving with a little more effort than usual. “Have you eaten?” Kaz tried instead.
“No, thank you.”
“Not the question,” Kaz sighed but figured that was a no. Even worse was the idea of trying to get some food in him. Part of Kaz wanted to say ‘screw it’ and leave him to his own devices, but…. Well, it was Jesper. Even if it wasn’t Jesper, the idea of a rotting corpse was enough to persuade him to put in a little effort.
So Kaz came back with soup and water. It would be a fight to get it in him, but Kaz was pretty sure Jesper could be coerced.
“Drink this, and I won’t break your legs,” he started with. Jesper blinked.
“Okay,” he said and didn’t move to drink the soup at all. Kaz pushed it towards him. Nothing. Typical.
“I’ll pay off your gambling debts.”
At this, Jesper snorted.
“What debts?” He asked brightly, and Kaz rolled his eyes. Damn Wylan. It was good Jesper had stopped gambling or whatever, but Kaz would have still made him pay off the money as a punishment. He shouldn’t be surprised his doting boyfriend spoiled him by paying it off himself.
“Fine. Drink this, and I’ll…” he looked around. “And I won’t take your guns,” he decided. This got Jesper’s attention. He sat up and glared - looking a little more like the teenager he was instead of the criminal he molded himself into.
“Don’t,” he warned and picked up the soup. Thank Ghezen. Kaz wasn’t sure where his guns even were. After a few sips, Jes put the bowl down. His clarity seemed to come back for a few moments because he was giving Kaz a puzzled frown from the bed.
“Why?” He asked. Kaz raised an eyebrow. “I don’t work for you anymore. Not really.”
Oh. That’s why.
“You could still have some use for me. Better you’re alive to cash in on that,” he shrugged. Jesper smacked his lips, and Kaz handed him some water. When Jesper didn’t take it immediately, he whacked his face with a gloved hand.
“Bitch,” Jesper muttered and snatched the glass, spilling water everywhere. Kaz wanted to be indignant but was distracted by Jesper’s weak attempt to hold the cup.
“Saints, you’re pathetic,” he said and held up the glass to help him drink. Jesper glared again.
“You’re pathetic.”
“Excuse me?”
Kaz wasn’t actually that surprised. He hadn’t seen Jesper sick up close before, but other members of the Dregs always used to complain he got volatile when illness came about. Rotty found it delightful to tease him and see what spewed out of his mouth when his filter was gone.
“I didn’t ask you to be here,” Jesper continued, still bristling as he turned his irritated gaze onto the glass of water Kaz had put down. “You came to be a dick to me.”
“I came here to make sure you didn’t die.”
“Same difference.”
Kaz snorted.
“Wylan would be upset if you died,” he pointed out. At that, Jesper paused. All the previous ire melted for a moment. Gross. Kaz couldn’t claim to be that much better, though. He was just better at hiding it when it came to Inej.
“Is he sick?” Jesper asked, sitting up. Kaz braced himself and then shoved Jesper back down. Even with the gloves or and layers of clothing, he hated it. Sickness made touches worse for him.
“No. But he is waiting for you to get better, so shut up and get to it.”
Jesper paused - looking a little baffled on what he should be doing - but shrugged and fell back. He looked at Kaz, eyes critically drifting over him in a….different way. He had noticed Jesper stared before. When they first met, mostly. This wasn’t quite the same, though. There was no morbid curiosity or silent thrill of going after something you can never have. No, Jesper’s gaze was oddly…familiar.
And they had known each other for years. It wasn’t like they were strangers, but Kaz wasn’t sure he had seen Jesper look at anyone like this.
“I miss Ma,” he proclaimed suddenly. Kaz blinked. “Do you think the girl was worth it?”
Kaz didn’t know what to say. Before he could think of something, Jesper spoke again.
“That’s an awful thing to ask, isn’t it?”
“I’m not an expert on good and bad,” Kaz went with slowly. Jesper laughed.
“But you’re the goody-two-shoes,” he said. Kaz was positive that was the fever. Kaz wasn’t sure that had ever been said to him before. Other than… well, once by Jordie shortly before their father died.
Come on, Kaz. You can’t let being a goody-two-shoes stop you from having fun!
It made Kaz shift uncomfortably.
“I’m sorry I can’t play today,” Jesper continued with a yawn. “You’re not mad, right?”
Kaz wasn’t sure he liked this.
“No. I’m not mad.”
Jesper’s smile was blinding. Even with the sickness glossing over him. Kaz decided, for once, he preferred him talking. Talking meant alive.
“I’ll make it up to you. I can make you something. What do you want?” he asked. Kaz still didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t respond. Jesper sighed. “I miss you,” he added wistfully. “You’re not mad, right?”
“You’ve already asked me that.”
“But you aren’t, right?” Jesper frowned, checking in. Kaz shrugged.
“No.”
“Good. Good,” he murmured and then took a few breaths. “I’m mad at you,” he told him, voice hardening. Kaz tilted his head. “You kept secrets.”
Oh. So maybe he was talking to Kaz after all.
“Well, you couldn’t keep them.”
“You were eleven,” Jesper snapped. Huh. Kaz mulled that over. They hadn’t known each other at eleven. Jesper hadn’t even arrived in Ketterdam until he was fourteen. “You shouldn’t have secrets at eleven.”
Alright…not Kaz, then.
“I hate you for it,” Jesper mumbled and buried his face in his pillow. The next words were muffled. “I wish I had died too.”
Too. Kaz nodded. Maybe this lecture was for his mother? No, he was speaking to someone who was eleven. Strange.
“You don’t hate me,” he dismissed. Jesper wrinkled his nose.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, voice growing soft. “I would have....” Kaz didn’t respond and grabbed more water. Jesper tensed. “Kaleb, wait-“
Kaleb?
“Water.” Kaz handed it over, and this time Jesper drank greedily. He didn’t even need to help him with the cup.
Kaz watched, lips pursed. He knew everything about Jesper. He did his research, after all. Jesper was a tricky investment, but in the end, the pros outweighed the cons. Still, the name Kaleb had never popped up before. What had he overlooked?
“What secret did I have?” he asked without even a hint of shame. Perhaps he should hesitate about prying information out of a delirious man, but Kaz’s ethics were shaky at best.
Jesper yawned.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Being sick,” Jesper said and held up a hand as if trying to snatch something from the ceiling. “I can come out and play later.”
“What game are we going to play?”
“I don’t know. Hide and seek?” He asked and reached out to lightly hit his leg. Kaz tensed. “You can pick. Just don’t lie.”
“Lie about what?”
“Your friend.”
“My friend?” Kaz repeate, and Jesper’s gaze darkened.
“When I wouldn’t play with you. You said you were going to the lake,” he said venomously. “But you went to him instead,” Jesper muttered, voice dark. “If you told me about hi, I would have told you to stay away. Would have protected you.”
Was this a childhood friend, maybe? Kaz merely looked at him. Jesper tried to rise again, and Kaz resolutely shoved him back down.
“I- Kaz?” he muttered, looking around. “Where am I? How-?” he began and tried to get up again. Kaz shoved him again, getting irritated. He raised his cane and rested the end of it on Jesper’s chest.
“Stay.”
“But-”
“You’re sick. Stay.”
“You’ll get sick too,” Jesper said, apparently forgetting their previous conversation. That might be for the best. “I’m cold-”
“No,” Kaz said and watched as Jesper’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t start with an attitude,” he added before the bitchy comments could come.
“You have an attitude,” Jesper grumbled... with an attitude. Kaz considered just letting him die. “I miss Wylan.”
“Surprise, surprise.”
“He’s so pretty.”
“Hm.”
“And smart.”
“Smarter than you.”
“I like making him laugh,” Jesper said absently. Then frowned, looking at Kaz for a moment with a puzzled expression. “Sometimes he’s like you. I don’t know what to make of that.”
Kaz snorted. At least he knew who he was talking to again.
“That you have a type?”
“I don’t have a-” Jesper began and narrowed his eyes. “Hey. You weren’t supposed to know about that.”
Saints. He acted as if his past flirting wasn’t obvious.
“Are you surprised I do?”
Jesper considered.
“No,” he decided and then made a face. “But I wish you didn’t. Gonna use it against me.”
Kaz wanted to be offended by that, but honestly, that was fair. Jesper was hard to control unless you knew his vices. Kaz had gotten away with merely using the gambling to keep him in line, but he would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered leading him on to make sure his loyalties stayed put.
And even now, with Kaz out of Jesper’s realm of interest, he could use it. Perhaps tell Wylan. Maybe sneak a few implications in and see how the fire spread through their relationship. Wylan would ultimately believe Jesper, but Kuwei had proven Wylan did have a nasty jealous streak. It could do some damage.
“I won’t,” Kaz said quietly. And he really wouldn’t now. Despite his best efforts not to regard Jesper in anything but a professional manner, he ended up as Kaz’s friend. Tragic.
Jes didn’t look convinced, but he was also delirious.
“Inej?” he asked, and Kaz tilted his head.
“She’s with Wylan.”
“No, you won’t tell her either, right?” Jesper asked, sounding concerned. Kaz raised an eyebrow. “She likes you, you know.”
“We’re married.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You were there.”
“You robbed a bank and made me sign a paper saying I was a witness to a marriage,” Jesper grumbled. Kaz snorted. That wasn’t quite how it went, but close enough. Inej had wanted something somewhat traditional, but they both agreed small and secret... Secret enough that their friends hadn’t realized what they attended until it was too late.
“Well, that doesn’t mean much,” Jesper yawned. “You would get married to a tree if it got you a perk in legality.”
That was true. It had gained Inej an official Kerch citizenship, meaning she could never be indentured even if caught on the Wraith.
“But Inej wouldn’t,” he pointed out, and Jesper threw up his hands in exasperation.
“Yeah! Because she likes you!” Kaz wasn’t even sure if this should amuse him. Jesper seemed genuinely concerned he didn’t know.
“What is your point exactly?” Kaz asked. Jesper huffed, throwing a sweaty arm over his forehead in utter defeat.
“Don’t tell her I liked you because she likes you, and it might upset her-”
“Jes, I think she also knew.”
There was a long pause.
“Impossible.” Kaz did give a small snort at that. He was pretty sure a sane Jesper would agree that Inej also knew. The pair of them joked about it enough. Jesper sighed, “do you think she’s mad at me over it?”
Kaz outright laughed at that.
“Absolutely furious,” he said, and Jesper winced. “Will you go to sleep now? I need you to start healing,” he said. Jesper made a face at that.
“Fuck off. You don’t even pay me anymore.”
What a mood swing. He really was volatile when sick. Kaz raised an eyebrow, but his normal look of intimidation was met with an only slightly-aware scowl.
“You can sleep, or I can knock you out.”
“You can freaking try,” Jesper muttered, reaching around him. “Where-? You took my guns,” he gasped. Kaz did no such thing, but he did want to find them before Jesper beat him there.
“I’ll give them back when you wake up.”
Jesper hesitated.
“You’re a sneaky bastard,” he decided and settled back under the blankets. “Fine. You got yourself a deal. Just don’t steal my soul,” he mumbled, back into whatever fevered world he was in. Perhaps Matthias’ old comments of Kaz being a demon stuck. “‘Night, Kaleb,” Jesper murmured, and Kaz was left wondering once again who the hell that was.
The rest of it was torture. Pure torture. Jesper slept in fitful gasps and turns. It was a wonder Kaz wasn’t launched back in time from all the things this could trigger. He only really panicked once when Jesper went eerily still. It was perhaps his first five minutes of peaceful sleep, but Kaz couldn’t stand it and forced him back up to eat and drink more.
Jesper’s awareness went downhill too. He barely acknowledged Kaz anymore, and when he did, he was always Kaleb. Usually, he just called for Wylan until Kaz figured out a way to get him back into bed with promises that Wylan was around the corner.
By the time the sun rose, Kaz was exhausted and stressed. If Jesper somehow did not make it through this... he would never forgive him.
Luckily, they weren’t on a bank by cold water after being beaten up. Jesper was in a bed with good food and an irritable gang leader forcing medicine down his throat every couple of hours. Never let it be said Kaz never did anything for this idiot.
“I’m literally fine. Just weak and sweaty. Let me take a shower, Kaz,” Jesper complained when the fever finally broke the next morning. Kaz held out the medicine wordlessly. “Please don’t make me have more. It’s disgusting, and I don’t need it-”
“If you want to leave this room to see Wylan within the next month, then you’re going to do as I say. Drink this or I will tie you to the bed and force it down your throat.”
Jesper looked like if he was in better health, he might have snapped something back. Instead, he groaned, letting his head fall on the pillow before looking over at him through his lashes.
“Four years ago, and I would have taken you up on that,” he drawled out. Kaz smacked him once before letting Jesper grab the cup. “I guess I should thank you for staying with me.”
“It was me or someone who might have actually caught it,” Kaz said simply. Jesper shrugged and knocked the medicine back. He looked longingly at the bathroom, but Kaz shook his head. There was no way he was getting in that shower until Kaz was sure he could stand on his own. He did not fancy pulling out an unconscious, wet, naked Jesper back onto the bed, thanks.
“Still,” Jesper sighed, coughing a bit as he choked on the cherry-flavored liquid. “Thank you. I hope I didn’t say anything harsh. Rotty says I’m mean when I’m sick.”
“You try to be,” Kaz informed him flatly. Jesper grinned and sat up, testing his muscles before accepting a cup of tea from Kaz. “You called me Kaleb,” he added conversationally. Jesper froze. Slowly, he lifted his eyes up to Kaz, who merely looked back at him. Silence enveloped them, and Jesper slowly took another sip of his tea.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Kaz scoffed. He hadn’t been looking for an apology. Jesper knew that. “You two aren’t really much alike. I think I… I don’t know. Sometimes I see things that aren’t there,” he said, smiling wryly and then paused. “You can be kind of bratty like him,” he added bluntly. Kaz spluttered.
“What did you just say?”
Jesper laughed, not looking the least bit intimidated despite the fact Kaz could - and would under different circumstances - take a nail or ear for that casual disrespect. Jesper must have confidence in Kaz’s mercy for illness… or a soft spot for Jesper.
“My brother was sweet most of the time,” Jesper shrugged and took another sip of his tea. “But he also had a sharp tongue. The kid could be a damn bully when he wanted to be,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “I remember he once made this salesman who came by the house cry his damn eyes out. Da had been horrified,” he snickered. Kaz bristled a bit before fully registering what he had just heard.
“Brother,” he repeated. Jesper raised an eyebrow. “How did I not know that?”
“I’m a man of mystery, Kaz Brekker.”
“The only mystery about you is how you’re still alive,” Kaz snapped and leaned back, brows furrowing. Jesper had a brother. Kaz was a little bothered by the idea. He had known everything about Jesper - or at least thought so. Perhaps this didn’t change much, but… “Older or younger?” he asked. Jesper paused. For a second, Kaz didn’t think he would answer.
“Younger,” he finally said. Kaz swallowed. Of course. “I was fourteen when he died,” Jesper offered, watching Kaz carefully. “He…” Jesper trailed off. A dark look passed over his face. “He had made a friend.”
Kaz wasn’t sure he had ever heard so much venom in his voice. He found himself distracted, though. Friends. Yes, he knew the word. Jordie had made a friend too.
“Kaleb liked his powers. After Ma died, I stopped using mine as much. Da never seemed to approve, and I was more a pleaser than Kaleb. He got annoyed with me over it, though. I stopped playing with him because he always wanted to try zowa games,” he shook his head. “He started going to the lake instead.”
“To his friend.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know that part. If I had known there was someone else involved, I would have tried to meet them,” he said darkly. “But Kaleb kept it from me, and I didn’t put the pieces together until it was too late,” he sighed, running a hand over his face. “Turns out his friend was a zowa hunter,” he smiled dryly. A cold feeling touched Kaz’s chest. Wait…
“Was he brought…?”
“Here,” Jesper finished for him. “Yeah. That’s why I came to Ketterdam,” he told him matter-of-factly. “Da was convinced he was dead. I was not. I really just enrolled in University for my visa to look for him,” he mused. Kaz pursed his lips. “But turns out my Da was right… he died before they could even indenture him,” he said bitterly. Kaz wondered absently why he even stayed… but he supposed the same question could be asked on why Kaz stayed in the place where Jordie had died. It might even be the same answer for both of them.
“What happened to the hunter?” he asked. A slow smile spread over Jesper’s face. It was something feral. Dangerous, even.
“Don’t play dumb. I know you wouldn’t have bothered helping me the night we met if you didn’t know.”
That was true. Years ago, Kaz had heard about some university student who had taken down a Grisha slaver with some miracle shot. Naturally, he had some Dregs tail the kid. Kaz had always assumed Jesper killed the guy because he was Grisha. Not because of a personal vendetta.
Kaz gave a satisfied nod. After a few moments, he spoke again:
“Pekka Rollins was Jordie’s friend.”
Confusion flashed over Jesper’s face before being replaced with recognition. He knew the name, but not what it was in relation to Kaz. He kept talking, “I was nine. He was thirteen. Pekka swindled us, and when the plague hit, it killed Jordie,” he said, keeping his voice level. Jesper stared at him for a long time.
“He was your brother,” he said with dawning realization. Kaz shrugged. “Saints, Kaz. I’m sorry.”
“Didn’t ask for your apologies,” he muttered. Kaz wasn’t sure why he had revealed the information at all. Jesper had willingly given his story. Kaz wasn’t obligated to return it. Maybe the plague had brought out a hint of vulnerability in him. Jesper only shrugged, unrepentant.
“I am sorry, though. You were kids and he was an adult. It’s disgusting,” he said simply. Kaz went quiet at that. “Where were your parents?” he asked. Kaz narrowed his eyes - ready to snap at him when the answer left his mouth.
“Dead.
Jesper didn’t seem surprised. He merely nodded and finished off his tea.
“I guess that’s Ketterdam for you.”
Kaz hesitated. Aw, fuck it. They had made it this far...
“Lij, actually.” Jesper paused. The gears were clearly turning, and Kaz could see him drawing up an invisible map. Part of him was a little amused by the surprise that flickered over his face.
“You’re-”
“Not a word to anyone,” Kaz told him. Jesper only stared. “But yes, I lived on a farm. An orchard,” he said. Jesper smiled a little. “What?”
“I don’t know. It’s weirdly fitting?”
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“How?” Kaz asked, already irritated. Jesper gave a snort, and for whatever reason, Kaz got the feeling that his earlier comment of ‘bratty’ was replaying in his head. The thought annoyed Kaz even more, so he took his cane and whacked him.
“Ow - I’m recovering!” Jesper complained, rubbing the side of his arm that Kaz had hit. “I just mean that sometimes you say and know stuff that farmers do,” he said and then gave a slight smirk. “Also, there is a tiny bit of an accent when you’re tired.”
Kaz hated this dumbass and everything about him.
“You wouldn’t know anything about Kerch accents,” he pointed out. Zemeni farmers didn’t sound like Kerch ones - he knew that much. Jesper straightened up.
“Mr. Fahey, do you know what they say about cow pastures?” he asked, mimicking Kaz’s words to his father back when they were dealing with that whole mess. The accent was pretty spot on. Kaz blinked several times. “Sometimes when I get homesick, I visit the farms outside the city,” he admitted and then paused. “It makes it easier not to gamble there, too.” Huh.
“…you’re a nightmare,” Kaz decided. Jesper laughed. “Wylan probably wants to see you soon,” he added. Jesper perked up a little at that.
“You don’t think I’m contagious still, do you?” He asked. Kaz considered. He didn’t want to risk Wylan or Inej even if the worst of it had passed. Jesper must have sensed this because he nodded. “A few more days is safer,” he decided. Kaz nodded in agreement. “You don’t have to stay either,” he added and picked up some bread from the nightstand. “See? Feeding myself and everything.”
This was quickly contradicted when Jesper choked.
“You’re a vision of good health.”
“If my head didn’t hurt so bad, I might have a comeback,” Jesper grumbled and then decided flicking him off was better than nothing. Kaz raised his cane, and Jesper lowered the finger with a scowl. Silence came over them, and Kaz was considering maybe getting some sleep when Jesper cleared his throat, speaking again with careful eyes.
“I… I mean, did I…?” He began and gave a frustrated huff. “I didn’t-”
“Spit it out, Jesper.”
“You called me Jordie,” he finally said. Oh. Kaz scowled. “And I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t….”
“What? Reminding me of him?” he asked. Jesper gave a helpless shrug. And because Kaz could be cruel, he nodded. “Of course, you do. Jordie was also easily tricked and manipulated. He was careless with his money, liked big risks, and was way too trusting. It screwed us both over, and even the, he kept his uppity attitude until he died.” Jesper flinched. Kaz wasn’t finished, though. “And it pisses me off that you’re the same way. I keep thinking that you’re older and will outgrow it, but most of the time, you never do. It makes me think he wouldn’t either, and sometimes I hate you both over it.”
Hurt flashed over Jesper’s face but years of practice had it disappear within seconds.
“Then why the hell did you keep me around for so long?”
Kaz paused. Then rolled his eyes.
“Because I don’t actually hate you,” he said and shook his head. “Besides, you’re not really the same person. You have so many mistakes of your own. You don’t need Jordie’s as well.”
“Your charm really knows no bounds,” Jesper said. Kaz shrugged. Then offered him more water.
It was maybe another two days before Kaz was convinced Jesper was better. Another three before he let him leave the room to another guest room. Kaz wanted to burn the other one, but Jesper just said he’d sanitize the entire place himself later.
“Just say the idea of Inej getting sick makes you slightly insane and leave,” Jesper snorted when faced with Kaz’s trepidation even after he was up and moving again. “....very insane,” he tacked on when Kaz glared.
Luckily, Jesper was fine with being patient - even if Kaz could tell the lack of Wylan was driving him into a slight bout of listless boredom. The only time he truly perked up was when he heard Wylan’s flute from the other house.
“I bet they’re having fun,” he said, looking longingly out the window.
“Are we not having fun, Jesper?” Kaz asked lightly. Jesper gave him a quick grin before gasping suddenly, sitting up with excitement that was already making Kaz wary. Dear Ghezen.
“We should send signs!”
“What?”
“Inej knows Morse code, remember?” Jesper said, and before Kaz could ask for more details, he grabbed a lamp from the corner of the room, placing it in the window. After waving his hands like a lunatic for a few minutes, Inej’s face appeared in the window. She grinned at them and waved. Almost immediately Wylan zipped up next to her with bright eyes and clear relief at seeing Jesper up and moving.
“Why?” Kaz asked as Jesper began waving his hand in front of the lamp in a series of dots and flashes. Inej brightened and rushed over to grab a lamp of her own.
It wasn’t the first time they had done this. In fact, Kaz had been the one to teach them both. They were supposed to use it for jobs but more often than not Inej and Jes would use it for casual conversation when they thought Kaz wasn’t paying attention.
“I miss them,” Jesper said solemnly as Wylan tugged on Inej’s arm to get her to tell him what Jesper had said. Kaz watched as they went back forth - all trying to rope Kaz into participating. He merely stared back. Inej smiled at him and he tried not to let his expression show anything.
“Can I ask you something personal?” Jesper cut in suddenly. Kaz glanced at him.
“No.”
“Can I ask and then you just not answer?” he tried. As if that would make a difference. Kaz only sighed which Jesper took as a cue to keep going. “Do you think Jordie and Inej would have gotten along?”
Oh. Kaz blinked. He hadn’t expected that.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about the idea before. Jordie and Inej. He knew they would have gotten along. Jordie would have adored her - for the most part. There would have been some squabbles over Inej trying to give advice and Jordie being too stubborn to accept it, he was sure.
“Why does that matter?” he asked instead. Jesper shrugged, lips pursed as he watched Inej and Wylan making faces at them in the window.
“I guess it doesn’t,” he said. Silence fell between them. Kaz wasn’t much for conversation without benefit, but he suddenly felt the need to respond as the obvious follow-up loomed over.
“Would Wylan and Kaleb…?” he began. Jesper snorted. After sticking his tongue out at where Inej and Wylan had paused to gaze at them expectantly, he turned to Kaz, a thoughtful look in his eyes.
“They would have argued. A lot,” he said. Kaz raised an eyebrow. “Very different people but… eh. I’m sure it would have worked out. For me or whatever,” he said with a vague wave of his hand. Kaz almost laughed at that. He wasn’t wrong, though. Wylan would make peace with the devil for Jesper.
Still - it presented a new thought. What if Jordie didn’t like Inej? The thought seemed impossible (Kaz didn’t know a single reasonable person who didn’t like her) but what would that have looked like? Would he have gritted his teeth and played nice? Or tried to persuade Kaz to find someone else?
He was sure what Inej would do. She would have treated Jordie in the same manner she treated Kaz when she was annoyed with him. It was how she dealt with anyone who annoyed her. With calm, rational reasoning and endless patience. Jordie might be indignant and claim he was being talked down to, but Kaz had little doubt he would bashfully see her side at one point or another. Much like how Inej had to convince Jesper not to do half the stupid shit he wanted to do.
“What?” Jesper asked curiously. Kaz snapped his eyes back to him and shrugged.
“Trying to imagine if Jordie didn’t like Inej,” he admitted. Jesper laughed.
“Impossible.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
Jesper grinned at him and then turned back to the window to blow a kiss to where Wylan and Inej were trying to get their attention again. Kaz stayed quiet after that. Mulling over all the what-ifs and guesses. Jesper had fallen asleep a few hours later, head still pressed against the window. His body must still be recovering because when a soft knock sounded, he didn’t even stir. Kaz grimaced. He could guess who that was.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he greeted as he opened up. Inej crossed her arms over her chest. He supposed she could have easily snuck in. It was nice of her to give him the illusion of asking permission.
“Jesper looks fine,” she pointed out. “And enough time has passed that I’m sure he isn’t contagious.”
She wasn't wrong… the paranoid part of Kaz wanted to give it one more day. Just to be sure. Though if he listened to that voice, then they’d be stuck like this for a month. Inej lifted a brow and he knew his quarantine period was over. Sighing, he stepped back. Wylan zipped past him in a blur - Kaz had vaguely noted he was there but hadn’t taken in the energy level until it was too late. There was a loud thunk and a scream from behind him.
“Wylan?” Jesper’s voice mumbled, sleepily. Then gasped. “Wylan!”
“They’re pathetic,” Kaz decided. Inej laughed and he found himself moving towards the sound. Maybe he was a little pathetic too. Perhaps Inej read his mind because her smile widened as she reached up and lightly brushed his cheek. The sensation sent an initial spike of panic but it drifted slightly as he tried to refocus himself. “Maybe we can use one of these guest houses,” he mused. “I’m tired of Jesper.”
“That bad, huh?”
Kaz thought over thepast week before shrugging.
“He’s whiny when he’s sick,” he went with. Inej didn’t say anything but she also didn’t need to. He grabbed her hand, pulling her out the door before Jesper and Wylan could decide to grab them for a group activity. Besides, there was still a small part of him that wanted Inej away from Jesper’s potential sickness… just in case.
“Bye, Kaz!” Jesper sang. He flipped him off. “See you in the morning!”
“Goodnight, guys!” Inej called back when Kaz continued to make their great escape. Wylan might have responded, but he was too busy laughing at something Jesper said. “It looks like you did a good job taking care of him,” Inej added. The wind blew slightly as Kaz led them t the furthest guest rooms…and hopefully the cleanest.
“I’m a very caring and nurturing person,” Kaz said dryly. Inej didn’t miss a beat.
“When you want to be.”
He wasn’t sure he appreciated that, but okay.
“Jordie would have liked you,” he said suddenly. Inej paused in opening the door to look at him in surprise. He wasn’t sure why he had just blurted that out, but it felt right either way. When he didn’t add anything to that, she nodded slowly.
“I think I would have liked him too,” she decided. For some reason, he felt a little relieved at that. Like Jordie might be listening from the afterlife. “Would he have liked everyone else?” she asked him curiously. Kaz snorted.
“Yes,” he admitted dryly. “Mostly Jesper. And Zenik. He would have loved Zenik,” he added with a roll of his eyes. “...and I’m positive if he became an actual merchant he would have stolen Wylan from Van Eck,” he tacked on. “I’m really not sure about Helvar.”
“He probably would,” Inej said as she walked inside to light a candle. “I mean, Matthias grew on you-”
“Says who?” Kaz interjected, following her. “He did not.”
Inej turned around and smirked at him.
“...you know we have a saying for this in Suli.”
“Oh, no.”
“Fine. You don’t get my wisdom.”
“I never wanted your wisdom.”
“Okay, I won’t say anything.”
“Good. I didn’t want to hear it.”
“I’ll just sit here quietly.
Kaz looked at her - eyes narrowed. Inej was smiling to herself as if she knew he just wanted to hear her talk about anything and everything in the world that made her happy. Perhaps she did know. The thought didn't scare him as much as it once had.
”Fine,” he said because he couldn’t really help himself. “Tell me.”
“Tell you what?” Inej asked innocently. Kaz realized right then and there that Jordie and Inej might have gotten along a little too well. They would have probably tormented him together.
A knock sounded behind him.
“...do you guys want hot chocolate?” Jesper’s voice called through the door. “Wylan is making hot chocolate.”
Inej brightened and called back, “I would like hot chocolate!”
Kaz grimaced. If ghosts and spirits existed, then surely Jordie had guided Jesper to him to fill that role.
“Kaz, do you want marshmallows?”
He found he only minded half the time.