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Cas doesn’t understand a lot on earth, admittedly. But above all else he does not and doubts he ever will understand the actions of the witch before him.
Granted, he and Rowena were destined to not like each other, but that can be said for him and Sam too. So Cas stopped at trying to understand destiny and her reasons.
Somehow though the tiny redhead with a wicked mindset, strong accent and incredible strength has wormed her way not only into the Winchester circle, but Castiel’s heart too.
Cas can’t help but wonder if their dynamic was cemented as more than being just civil after Lucifer possessed him, he remembers feeling the crack of her neck under his hands. The guilt and the blood still feels soaked to his bones.
But then he looks to the first time they met, when they were working with the book of the damned to remove the mark from Dean.
He thinks of the way she seemed almost… fascinated with Cas. If not genuinely amused by a fallen angel, given he’s her first encounter with one.
He’s certain if his wings were visible she would pluck a feather to see what happened. He’s also certain he should be more offended than endeared at that thought.
Cas also thinks back to when Jack was sick and soulless, how he was so very sure that Rowena would want nothing to do with not only her abusers son, but the son of the man who allowed her abuser to access her in the first place.
However like everything she does, she surprised him. Don’t get Castiel wrong, Rowena was very clearly skeptical but she forgets he can see her soul before the front she puts up.
Her soul is like non Cas ever saw before. A warm array of red, orange and pink hues with glows of ocean blue dancing in swirls within. The brightest comfort of a sunset setting over the ocean on a warm day at the beach.
Her soul is tinted with black and deep blood red, proof of her trauma and struggles imprinted on her forever. The marks of a very very long life lived, every moment making up the glow within.
Slight cracks in the edges that grow when she speaks of her son, but remain filled with a golden glow the rest of the time. A proof of her healing from her past and moving to the future.
When she was helping Jack, Cas couldn’t help but pay attention to her soul. The cracks growing, no doubt her mind filling with the fact she couldn’t provide this care for her own son.
The black tint from lucifer quivering in fear yet the orange hue of hope overpowering her fear in every sense. She’s the strongest woman Castiel has had the honour to meet.
But above all else, what gets Castiel is the overwhelming surge of pink that glows so brightly and swirls throughout her soul. The action radiating waves of pure love so strong it brought tears to Castiel’s eyes.
Cas knew something changed that day, Rowena later told him how Jack was good, how she didn’t see Lucifer within him. She saw castiel, she saw Sam and she saw herself.
Above all of that, she saw a chance for her to be better, for her to protect an innocent soul and give Jack a support system she truly wished she could’ve given her Fergus.
Cas couldn’t help but hug her and tell her of course she can join the group of Jack’s parental figures and that it would be an honour to have a strong woman figure in his sons life.
Then Rowena died, partly because of Cas and partly with the knife Sam drove in her stomach. Cas still remembers the pure guilt settled hard in his stomach that never truly left.
Waves of despair rolled inside him and he felt the matching feelings rolling off of Sam’s soul. Cas slept in Sam’s bed the night she died, and the following weeks too.
Then they had to go to Hell for help with Chuck. Cas is sure Dean noticed him reach for Sam’s hand to comfort the man and himself, but Dean was mindful enough to not say anything.
There was a silent understanding of the guilt they felt knowing Rowena was down there suffering. Probably on the rack somewhere being ripped up to shreds.
Cas couldn’t help but let the tears brim in his eyes, he wanted to save her from perdition but his powers were too weak. He had to get out of there as soon as possible.
Before Cas could have made a weak excuse to leave, Rowena walked down the steps. Her red hair pulled back out of her delicate face, cascading down over her red jumpsuit.
Castiel still feels awestruck when he thinks of the first time he laid his eyes on her post death. She had a knowing smile on her face and looked more content within herself than ever before.
Once everyone got over their initial shock Cas couldn’t help himself in asking how she got the throne, to which she said nobody hands over anything, she just took it.
Castiel smiled at that, because if there’s one way to describe Rowena, it was persistent and she definitely knew how to get what she wanted.
However the other thing she said is what caught Cas off guard, causing heat to rush to his cheeks and his eyes to look away from her dazzling smile.
Darling. darling.
Castiel is, of course, aware of the human love for pet names and nicknames. He’s been called Cas more in the last decade than his actual name.
With Rowena however, everything is different. She calls him his full name, often drawing out the ‘tiel’ part, a smirk accompanying the word. Cas cannot remember a time she called him Cas, actually.
She also likes giving him pet names. Feathers is a common one, derived from her sons name for him too. Cas likes this one, he decided it deems fit for his species and it’s an accurate analogy to what his true form is like.
Tweetie pie followed after feathers and became a name that only Rowena calls him. He likes that though, having something from her he gets to keep for himself, selfish as it may be.
Cas doesn’t really understand the reason behind it fully but Dean explain tweetie pie is a cartoon bird, which in context would make sense as another way to call him feathers. He is not a yellow fluffy cartoon bird though.
She’s also called him handsome angel, which Cas has zero shame in admitting made him flustered. He’s been working hard since his first return from the empty to make this vessel into his body. He’s flattered the glamorous witch finds him handsome.
Rowena has also used several other pet names in passing. The likes of babe, honey and sweetheart if she’s feeling particularly sweet towards him.
But darling? Darling is new.
The name is said oh so sweetly and strongly, put into the air around them that washes over Castiel’s skin in waves. The feeling washing over him feels like a warm hug, a reassuring affirmative that Rowena is okay.
He smiles back flustered at her, ringing his hands together as a nervous reaction he picked up over the years of becoming one with humanity. She glances at his hands and smiles knowingly at him.
They sit down and catch up for a while, Sam gets them some more whiskey to drink and Rowena smiles her fond smile and calls Sam her dove. Cas is most pleased to see Sam get just as flustered as he does.
It’s a little bit later when Sam and Dean venture further into hell to talk to some higher ranking demons for advice with Chuck, leaving Rowena and Cas alone in her area of hell.
“So, my darling, what is the-“ Rowena begins to ask before noticing the angel blushing furiously. Cas knowing that she knows how flustered she makes him only makes him blush harder.
“My, my. I knew my pretty wee angel got flustered at my flirting but this is new.” She said, leaning forward on her throne almost conspiritually.
“Y-yes. I mean, kind of? You’ve just never said my in front of any of the pet names before, it catches me off guard.” Cas tries explaining, stuttering on his words and blushing even further.
Rowena is delighted by the information, Cas can tell. Her eyes light up and she smiles wide, letting out a light and airy cackle at the new information.
“Ah. I see, well we’ve both grown very fond of each other haven’t we my darling? I believe these weeks of not seeing you and knowing you’d undoubtedly be blaming yourself for part of my demise has made me more flirtatious than usual. I promise it’s to comfort you, not make fun, I find it very very endearing, dear.”
Castiel honestly doesn’t know how to respond to that because she’s correct. He has been blaming himself and he’s missed her and he would be lying to himself and her if he said it didn’t bring him comfort. He tells her as such.
She smiles fondly, nodding at him to continue his thoughts, giving the angel the space to openly talk about the way his mind has been scrambled with grief and heartache the last few weeks.
He goes through talking about knowing his absent father doesn’t like him, the fact Mary and Jack are gone, the fact she was gone. Cas openly admits for the first time in millennias that he needs comfort.
Rowena just smiles sadly the longer he talks before standing from her throne and going over to her angel. She gently brushes his hair from his face and kisses the top of his head.
She’s still secretly delighting in how easy it is to make this being 200 times her size fluster so easily, but above all else she just wants to give Cas an escape from everything even if just for a few minutes.
“Why don’t you come with me over here my darling, I’ll make you some tea and we can have some quiet for a while hm?” Rowena says fondly, still stroking her slender fingers through his soft hair.
Castiel slowly blinks his eyes open, resembling a sleepy kitten, before nodding. “Please, Ro. That sounds wonderful”.
There’s a lot of things Cas doesn’t understand about human life and earthly customs, and he doubts he will ever understand exactly why the feeling of being this little witch’s darling brings so much comfort.
All he knows is he’s grateful to have her, and the warmth these little words bring him and that’s good enough for him.