Chapter Text
"Stupid James Potter and his stupid charming smile and his perfect messy hair." Regulus mumbled to himself, trying to read the book in his hands but he's been on the same page for the past 10 minutes.
Regulus knew James was trying to work him up, make him acknowledge his presence and make him talk to him, well more like Regulus yelling at James. But even that would be enough for James. He slammed the book shut, brows furrowed together and his jaw clenched. "You look like you're about to murder someone." One of his classmates said, making Regulus snap out of his, whatever state he was in. He looked at the man who was now heading to his bed. His expression was unreadable, trying to hide himself.
"Do I need to hide a body?" Barty asked as he fell down the bed. "As much as I'd like to murder him, I cannot." Regulus sighed, putting the book on the nightstand.
"James?" Asked Barty, staring at him. Regulus turned sharply towards Barty raising his brow. "Evan?" Barty straightened his thin lips.
Barty and Evan have the same thing going on. Evan is trying to do everything to make Barty notice him. But Barty wasn't as patient as Regulus. He was hot headed and he loved to talk back. While Regulus knew how to shut his mouth in needed situations, thanks to his mothers A+ parenting, he could be sassy when pushed enough. "What was it this time?" Barty asked and taking Regulus' expression towards him he knew it was a bad idea to ask.
Regulus shot up from his bed. "That idiot jumped on the damn table and announced to the whole school he wants to take me out! And then everyone! EVERYONE in the damn cafeteria looked at me!" Regulus explained, pacing around his whole shared dorm with Barty. He stopped looking at Barty who was trying his hardest not to laugh. "If you laugh I'll put you in the same damn grave as James." Regulus threatened but it was too late for Barty, as he burst out laughing. He took his pillow and threw it at Barty.
"Well did you answer him?" Barty asked, calming down from his laugh. "Why would I give into his pranks? He's just messing with me." Barty's smile faded as he looked at Regulus standing in the middle of his room. "Wait," Barty chuckled. "You think it's just a joke to him?"
"Are you defending him?!" Regulus shot Barty with a death glare. Barty's hands shot up, "I'm not! But," Regulus stared at him as he stood up from his bed with his finger in air. "Reg, he isn't joking." Regulus brows shot up daring Barty to continue, which he gladly did. "Evan told-" Regulus dramatically shot his arms up.
"Oh of course, you'd believe whatever Evan Rosier tells you!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Barty snapped back his arms crossing on his chest. "Even I can see you're into him!" Barty made a painful expression as if he was offended Regulus knew. "Oh but you can't see that James is into you?" Barty replied, poking Regulus's chest.
Regulus made an Exaggerated sound running his hands against his face ,groaning. "No more talk of James or Evan!" He said, but as Barty opened his mouth, Regulus made a worse death stare which did shut up Barty this time.
Regulus made his way towards Barty's bed and got a cigarette from Barty's stash. Barty raised his brow following Regulus with his eyes. "Since when do you smoke?"
Regulus brushed his hair with his hand as he lightened the cigarette and inhaled a good puff. "I've been smoking for the past 2 years." Barty's brows shot up surprised. Regulus turned to face him. "I told you once. You won't know anything about me unless I tell you directly." Regulus continued as he smirked. Barty scoffed, taking a cigarette as well.
They smoked in silence which was good, both needed some silence and that's what they got. Except now Regulus's mind was loud. Was James actually into him or was it just now also Barty messing with him? Barty wouldn't do that. He furrowed his brows taking another puff of the almost finished cigarette.
No, James and Evan are best of best friends. Of course only after Sirius. Sirius was James's brother from a different mother. So Evan would kill for James with no hesitation. And he would help James to mess with Regulus. A bigger plus was that Barty was into Evan. No matter how hard Barty disagreed or tried to hide it, everyone could see it. And he lovedthe constant attention he gets from Evan.
While Regulus just wanted James to stop whatever game he was playing. As much as he loved the attention he was getting from him, but only from him, not the whole goddamn school. But Regulus won't fall into his trap and get out hurt.
"I've got an idea." Barty announced as he stood up from the floor next to his bed and walked towards Regulus. "And that's where it's already a bad idea." Regulus replied, smirking as he put the finished cigarette in the bowl.
"What if we play their game?" Barty asked as he crouched down eye level with Regulus. Regulus's brows furrowed, opening his mouth but Barty got to it first. "No listen. " he said, sitting down and crossing his legs.
"What do you think would happen if we pretended to date?" Regulus widened his eyes. "Barty what-" Barty smiled mischievous as he put his index finger close to Regulus's lips, shushing him. "Did you just shush me?-"
"Listen, aren't you even slightly curious if James is actually playing or not? I know you don't believe me." Barty asked as Regulus stared at him. Stupid Barty Crouch. Regulus was good at hiding what he was thinking. But oh, Barty could read him. Regulus was his favourite book. And Regulus was indeed curious to know if James was just being a prick or actually felt something for him.
Ever since Regulus ran away with Sirius to the Potters his stupid crush on the stupid James Potter started growing after their summer spent together. Oh and those days where James was playing football on hot days, god those abs.
"You're thinking about your first summer with him aren't you?" Barty smirked as Regulus let go of his bottom lip which he apparently had between his teeth.
"And what if we get no reaction from them?" Regulus asked, dropping his hands on his lap. Barty rolled his eyes. "Reg, we will get a response from them. Trust me."
Regulus groaned. This was an awful idea. But a very tempting awful idea. "This is a bad idea." Regulus told Barty as he himself scoffed. "I know. But it's a very good and bad idea." Regulus laughed. "Fine. What are the boundaries? How far do we go?"
Barty smiled wide, clapping his hands with excitement in his eyes.
A very bad idea.
————
"I take it the plan didn't work?" Evan grinned as James bursted into his dorm. James rolled his eyes.
"No. I think he hates me more now." He sighed heavily, falling into his bed. "What are you even doing in my room? And where's Sirius?" James asked as Evan sat down at the end of James bed.
"Cause I knew the plan would fail. And Sirius is spying after that Lupin boy with Mary." Evan explained as he threw some nuts into his mouth.
"Mary likes Remus now too?" James asked, supporting himself in his arms. "No Lupin and Evans are stitched together. Some even say they're together with what Mary and Sirius are doing right now."
"Seeing what?" James sat up raising his brow. Evan looked him dead in eyes itching to say something much different. "To see if the rumours are true. Mary is into Evans and Sirius is like a lost puppy for Lupin." Evan explained finishing the package of salty nuts. James's favourite salty nut. "Are those my nuts?"
Evan smirked, throwing the empty package into the trash. Keeping eye contact with James. He rolled his eyes laughing. "He wont talk to you for a month now." Evan noted.
"He doesn't talk to me at all!" James blew out a breath falling back down on the bed. "Well, sucks to be you Barty talks to me." Evan smirked as James kicked him slightly into his leg.
"If you mean talking by bickering and cursing each other until teachers have to pull you apart. I don't want that." James noted as Sirius barged into the room with Mary both red and giggly.
"Oh here we go." Evan muttered as he turned to see both of the two land on the dorm's floor.
"He touched my hand! His skin is so soft!" Sirius squeaked. Actually is hyperventilating. "I'm never washing my hands again! Those rings!" Mary joined in.
"I think we should put them in a mental hospital." Evan whispered into James ear , and somehow he heard it from all the giggling and squeaking from Mary and Sirius.
James cleared his throat loudly which brought Sirius and Mary out of their giggling state and laid on the floor smiling.
"So mind filling us in?" James spoke up as both sat up looking like they were on another planet. James looked at Evan who looked back at him.
"Earth to Sirius and Mary!" Evan called out, snapping his fingers. Mary shot up as Sirius sat on the floor. "She's bisexual and not together with Remus! She greeted me by touching my hand! And oh my god those rings she has!" Mary explained by clutching her heart on her chest.
"And oh my god he has wrist tattoo! And he's so goddamn tall , I could bet i'm a good climber! " Sirius exclaimed standing now up as well. Evan snorted next to James.
"Well did you both ask them out?" James asked as both suddenly stopped all movements they were doing. "Oh my god..." Mary whispered. "Oh..." Sirius added. James blinked as sudden realisation hit him.
Evan broke into laughter. "You didn't!" Mary's lips frowned as Sirius slumped down into his bed. "We kinda forgot." Mary looked down at her feet.
"We're miserable in our dating life." James mumbled to himself. As Evan stopped laughing. "Talk about yourself, Barty is talking to me." Sirius perked up at that. "How did it go with Regulus?" He asked James.
"He hates me."
"I told you so." Sirius said smugly laughing.
''I need a better plan.'' James said, standing up as everyone looked at him. ''Well for starters you should get him to talk to you and not dump him a whole crowd of people to stare at him.'' Mary commented as she looked at her rolling his eyes, his hands on his hips. ''He wont even come near me.'' James complained. ''Well Barty does talk to me , even if it's bickering. But I could try and see If Regulus would even get close to you after that stunt.'' Evan suggested now as well standing up.
''We could try.''
''You know , what if they're both dating. Regulus and Barty but you both idiots don't know that and maybe that's why they keep rejecting you.'' Mary said, crossing her arms on her chest as James slumped down, basically deflating. Evan straightened as well as Mary shrugged.''I'm just saying you both haven't considered that''
''Barty has a mouth which spits fire, he would tell me that.'' Evan continued to give reasons, smiling to himself as Mary just shrugged. ''You never know.'' she said as she walked out of their dorm