Chapter Text
Luo Binghe raised his smiling face, both eyes sparkling. “My mother was the person who was best to me in this world.”
Shen Qingqiu took a sip from his cup of hot tea to hide his smile. The little Luo Binghe sitting in front of him was even more adorable than what Shen Yuan imagined when he read ‘Proud Immortal Demon Way’. The transmigrator inwardly cried, he’s so young and already there is so much tragedy in his backstory! What sweet innocence to keep smiling despite it all!
Adding to the picture of innocence-there was a smudge of mud on the tip of Binghe’s nose and his fluffy hair was coming loose from his ponytail. Even dirty and sweaty from digging, the mini protagonist was the cutest kid Shen Qingqiu had ever seen. Shen Qingqiu’s well practiced act (and the damn System) were the only things preventing him from grabbing the little bunny and pinching his cheeks. Have you ever seen something so cute you just wanted to squish it? That is what the esteemed immortal master Shen Qingqiu felt right now.
Predictably, the system decided to interrupt the moment with a cheerful:
Ding!
Oh no, oh god damn it. He had spent so many hours of his previous life reading and analyzing PIDW there was no way he could forget what happens next in this scene.
[.: Action Required: Pour tea on Luo Binghe’s head. :.]
When he heard the announcement from the System, Shen Qingqiu clenched his fist in frustration, almost pouring the tea on himself in the process. It did not matter that he knew this was coming. He was not emotionally ready; each of the System’s words felt like a stab of anxiety in his chest.
Outwardly, he collected himself ensuring his serene expression was back in place. Inwardly, he was raging at the System.
‘Action Required? Hell no! I already told you, stop trying to make me the Scum Villain!’
Shen Qingqiu had to wait so long for the plot to reach Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. He had transmigrated to a time only a few months after Original Goods Shen Qingqiu rose to the position of Peak Lord. (Sorry OG for stealing your promotion before you could enjoy it!)
As soon as Shen Yuan realized who he was (and after he finished having a panic attack because wow ok he had died) the transmigrator started thinking of ways to avoid OG’s fate. He spent his subsequent years as a Peak Lord studying cultivation like his life depended on it (which it did). He researched all kinds of magical flora and fauna plot devises that might save his (figurative & literal) ass one day.
He tried really hard to carefully make friends acquire allies in a way the System couldn’t call OOC.
It all comes down to this moment. The plot was here now. The little half-demon now sat in front of him. It was time to enact the first part of his three-step plan for survival. It was time to get serious!
The first step of his plan involved him NOT becoming the Scum Villain of this story. Instead, he would change up the story role as much as the System would allow. He aimed to play the part of the wise mysterious mentor. And then one day in the future Shen Qingqiu would say something along the lines of ‘Now the student has surpassed the master. I have nothing left to teach you.’ Then Shen Qingqiu planned to immediately fuck off and live as a hermit somewhere far away from the plot! Being a Peak Lord is great, but having all four limbs is even better!
Hopefully, this little Luo Binghe in front of him would have a gentler childhood. Still, he was not planning on sticking around to find out Demon Lord Luo Binghe’s opinion of his old Sect after his blackening!
It was not fool-proof, but anything was better than the things that would have happened to the original goods in the dungeon of the Post-Abyss Protagonist. Yikes.
No time to dwell on that! Luo Binghe knelt at attention in front of him waiting for his Shizun to say or do something. His faithful head disciple Ming Fan and a surprisingly quiet Ning Yingying stood outside on the threshold of the front door eagerly peaking in. They seemed to sense that something significant was happening here. Ah yes, the glowing protagonist halo making sure our hero was always the most interesting person in the room.
Shen Qingqiu arranged himself so that he would appear relaxed in a well-practiced aristocratic way. No need to let anyone on the outside know this was one of the most important moments of his second life. The relaxation was just a front. He couldn’t afford to relax yet. Already the System is fucking up his plan to hug the protagonist’s golden thighs!
How could he follow the System’s instructions and ruin the current peaceful scene in his bamboo house on Quing Jing Peak? Binghe’s eyes were literally glistening as he looked in awe at his new Shizun. All that devotion was intense!
Shen Qingqiu must have been taking too long to follow the system’s prompt because in slightly larger font and now underlined, the System reminded him again:
[.: Action REQUIRED for Plot Advancement: Pour tea on Luo Binghe’s head. :.]
What BS reason did the Original Scum Villain have for treating this little starry-eyed lamb like trash?
I won’t! Why would this Shen Qingqiu ruin such a precious moment?! He’ll never be forgiven!
[.: Host, you are here to fill in plot holes, not create them. ( - _ - ) The story needs its early antagonist to progress. This action has been labeled as required. Please act now or you will lose points and activate an Emergency OOC Plot Deviation protocol! :.]
The system was starting to beep urgently. It was no use, before this day even started Shen Qingqiu had made up his mind.
Fuck the System!
[.: … :.]
Though, to be safe he did ask how many points would actually be taken away. His heart quivered when he saw the number displayed… but still, it wouldn’t knock him down ALL the way to zero. He would probably be fine as long as he was very very careful in the immediate future.
He steels himself. He can be a mean Shizun later. Right now, this first meeting was important.
‘You’ll never get a second chance at a first impression!’ He was sure his (previous) mom said that.
Cheesy, but it was relevant here in his second life. Haha When she said that he had been so nervous for an interview; it was almost embarrassing looking back. After attending so many hours-long disastrous Peak Lord Meetings; sitting in a room for ten minutes talking to strangers no longer seems like such a big deal.
Hell, when he first transmigrated everyone was a stranger! And they wouldn’t stop talking to him all the time! They would ask things like ‘when will you be finished with such-and-such report’, meanwhile the poor transmigrator was inwardly crying tears of blood while trying to hide his struggle with a xianxia calligraphy brush. (It took hours and hours of secret night time practice to be able to write like the Original Shen Qingqiu. At that time, he often wondered if the System would dock him points if he ‘invented’ a ball-point pen.)
The System did not care about his struggle then, and it doesn’t care about his struggle now:
[.: Action Required: Pour tea on Luo Binghe’s head within the next 10 seconds. ]
[.: Failure will result in loss of points and OOC Plot Deviation punishment protocol being activated until the plot hole is filled. :.]
[.: 10…9…8… :.]
----
It was not like Shen Qingqiu had never experienced an ‘OOC punishment’ before. Sometimes, especially in the early days, the System could be bullied into changing its mind about what exactly constitutes as ‘out of character.’ But there are some instances where even he had to admit he fucked up.
It happened in his second year as Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu.
He had been standing there mesmerized as fellow Peak Lord Liu Qingge kicked all kinds of ass during a so called ‘joint peak disciple mission’.
Usually, joint peak missions were designed to give advanced junior disciples a safe way to practice planning and teamwork with others who have been taught different styles of cultivation. When you were on a mission with Peak Lord Liu Qingge however, ‘teaching’ and ‘teamwork’ was not something you were likely to find. Instead, the hunt would usually end with Liu Qingge throwing himself into a solo battle without anything resembling a plan. Or well, if he had a plan, it didn’t involve anyone else and he never bothered to share it.
Liu Qingge’s enthusiasm for battle and disregard for teaching was unsurprising, so Shen Qingqiu and disciples typically just stood out of his way and watched the action. It was an easy way to complete the System’s filler missions and gain points without actually doing any work.
(Meanwhile, Liu Qingge was deeply suspicious of Shen Qingqiu’s new found enthusiasm for joint missions with Bai Zhan. The lazy bastard would just stand there and stare at him during the action! Was Shen Qingqiu watching him fight trying to find some weakness?? He needs to remind the scheming snake of the unwavering prowess of the War God of Bai Zhan!)
Today, this fight was particularly awe inspiring. The backdrop of this fight was beautiful. The Valley of the Eternal Cherry Blossoms really lived up to its name. In the Valley, Liu Qingge was fighting three rampaging sword-fish-tigers. Each was the size of a bus but still incredibly agile even when out of the water!
The ending move of this fight involved Liu Qingge standing on the low swinging mermaid-like tail of the largest sword-fish-tiger while he stabbed another from underneath straight through the heart.
But he did not stop there! A third sword-fish-tiger leapt through the air ready to gut Liu Qingge with its sword like nose! But it never got the chance! With ease the War God lifted his sword into the air with the first fallen beast still lodged on it. He flung the bloody carcass off his sword and at the pouncing sword-fish-tiger, spearing it straight threw the neck with its brethren’s needle-sharp nose. The dark poisonous blood of the two fallen tigers sprayed in an arc through air. The burgundy blood mixed with the falling cherry blossoms!
Liu Qingge paid the breathtaking scene no mind, because as soon as the thrown beast hit its mark, he flipped from the tail of the largest sword-fish-tiger and landed on its head. The Lord of Bai Zhan then plunged Cheng Luan deep into the brain of the last tiger standing. The beast immediately dropped dead, while Liu Qingge and his sword were flung forward due to the previous momentum of the tiger.
As expected, physics were no match for Liu Qingge; he sheathed his sword as he flipped in the air and completed a perfect three point landing a meter away from the carnage. The Valley’s floor behind him was a mix of pink and burgundy. Cherry blossom petals on a breeze danced around him. Not a drop of blood was on him! Amazing!
Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help himself. His reserved act dropped along with his fan.
He only had one thought:
“Holy shit, that was awesome.”
Except it wasn’t just a thought. He had said that. Out loud.
The six wide eye disciples around him turned to stare in shock. Not at the beautiful aftermath of the gory action before them, but instead at the incredibly OOC Shizun.
“Sh..shizun?”
[ .: ( ⊙ ▂ ⊙) Host?!? :.]
Oh no.
Shen Qingqiu had no time to pull himself together to make excuses. He barely registered the System announce something about an ‘emergency extreme OOC punishment protocol’. A sudden extraordinarily rapid qi deviation hit him like a speeding semitruck. He knew nothing else but that every part of him hurt. It was as if molten lead was being pumped from his heart and through his disintegrating veins. His hands went heavy and numb as it felt like the boiling lead cooled and harden when it reached his extremities.
Shen Qingqiu was sure he was going to die from his own stupidity (again).
--
He didn’t die though.
When he briefly woke during a lull in the pain, he registered that they must have made it to Cang Qiong. He was in a recovery bed. Liu Qingge was shirtless and hugging him for some reason. Oh no, actually they both were topless. Shen Qingqiu tried to wiggle away and explain his OOC behavior.
“Liu- shidi... you shouldn’t… I don’t… how…” Oh great, his brain was still fried and all that came out was incoherent fragments of sentences.
“Stop moving. Mu Qingfang told me to do this.”
Oh right, Mu Qingfang must be getting Liu Qingge to transfer qi through skin-to-skin contact.
Like most things in this universe, it was not at all erotic like how it was described in PIDW. (Not that he was hoping it would be erotic since it was Liu Qingge here in his hospital bed!) He just felt numb and sweaty. Shen Qingqiu should have been embarrassed but his brain felt like mush. No energy for dignity, he quickly fell back into an uncomfortable unconsciousness.
When he blinked into consciousness once again, Mu Qingfang was there to tell him all about how he almost died and how Liu Qingge had saved him and stayed on Cang Qiong Peak to help him through the worst of it.
Thanks for the sacrifice, Liu- shidi! Both you and Mu Qingfang are in my (newly revised) list of top 10 favorite characters in PIDW!
The System tried to tell him something about the consequences of his actions, but Shen Qingqiu muted that quickly because he had a killer headache and reminding him of all the ways he fucked up was not helping.
Shen Qingqiu was going back to sleep, but was interrupted by a teary-eyed Yue Qingyuan rushing into his room. Liu-shidi must have told him about the… episode he had. Dear Sect Leader was so sure that Shen Qingqiu would die before he got the chance to beg for forgiveness.
It was clear that Yue Qingyuan blamed himself for Shen Qingqiu’s mental and physical state. When Shen Qingqiu tried to protest reminding him that he had ‘amnesia’ so their past relationship was not to blame, Set Leader Yue’s eyes got big and watery. Yue Qingyuan then launched into the tragic tale of their childhood which culminated in a crying confession about why Qi-ge didn’t make it back on time to rescue him from the Qui’s. By the end, Yue Qingyuan was clasping both of Shen Qingqiu’s hands between his two. Yue Qingyuan let the tears run freely down his face. This would have made a great scene in a C-drama.
While carefully staying as in character as possible, he forgave Yue Qingyuan. He might have shed a few tears too but the System didn’t call him out.
It felt super awkward because these apologies weren’t really for him.
OG SQQ you were still a scummy lecher, but damn that was a sad backstory. Why was all this character depth left out of the novel?
‘Shen Qingqiu’ suddenly wanted to go back through the novel rereading all the Shen Qingqiu parts with this new frame of reference.
After pretending to fall asleep so Yue Qingyuan could go wash his face and blow his nose, Shen Qingqiu unmuted the System. To his surprise he had been racking up on points during backstory and confession time with Yue Qingyuan.
Nice! When it was all said and done, he came out a few points ahead of his score before his gaff.
Worth it? Actually, no not at all, qi deviations sucked and Shen Qingqiu still couldn’t feel his fingers.
He took time and considered the implications, though. When the plot showed up, it was likely he was going to have to lose a dangerous amount of points in order to get this story changed. Replaying Shen Qingqiu’s life perfectly in character beat for beat would only lead to ruin. Sometimes he was going to have to get OOC. If he played it smart though, it would be better for him in the long run.
[.: Host, I don’t like where this train of thought is going… I’ve told you before that you need to wait until you can unlock the OOC function. :.]
Not helpful. Muted again.
[.: ( ╯ ︵ ╰ ) :.]
System won’t tell him HOW to unlock OOC functions. For all he knows, he isn’t allowed to act OOC until the end of the book! Then it will be much too late! No legs! No arms! No tongue! It makes him shiver to imagine it.
No. When the plot gets here, I need to have as many points as possible saved up. I know I’ll have to choose my battles against the System carefully. If I have enough points, I can use them as a cushion to soften the System’s blows.
And so, Shen Qingqiu spent the rest of his years hardcore grinding for points so he would be ready for the fateful day he finally met protagonist Luo Binghe.