Chapter Text
N disappeared. One moment he was there, and the next, he was not.
When Noah turned around, Mio knew for sure. He and N were one again, for the most part.
She knew beecause the truth is, M had never really gone away. She was part of her psyche, without a physical form, not entirely a separate entity but not one in the same.
The others were understandably confused, and Noah didn't let them in on the secret, but with a nod, Mio was completely up-to-date. Noah and N shared her Noah's body, while she and M shared M's body. These separate entities were the same person split by regret of a bad decision, seeking absolvement, but each set had their own memories, lives, feelings, and experiences.
Great.
Several of them had been injured during their skirmish with N and the other consuls, so the decision was made to retreat to the City before proceeding into the core of Origin. The approach would be made in a few days' time. This would give everyone some time to recover, prepare, and say their farewells.
The ride back had all of them in a decidedly grim mood. Even Eunie had fewer quips than usual. Noah was off in his own headspace, gaze well off into space and face paler than usual, and Mio was anxious about it. What did he see in N's past? All that violence, he was likely seeing from the driver's-seat perspective. That loneliness that N felt, how would Noah handle it? What other horrible things might be in there that even M didn't know about? Her stomach rolled and twisted, and she found herself tensing her jaw to the point of pain.
Did this have to happen now, when things were stressful enough already? The Ouroboros were about to disappear one way or another. How do you come to grips with that, let alone all of this new information on top of it?
She placed her hand on his, holding onto it for the remainder of the ride. His long fingers were near-lifeless and cold, but his expression did soften, just the tiniest bit.
---
While the others went to train, Mio pulled Noah aside. He had said little since they returned that two nights ago, had been refusing food. His eyes appeared sunken again, skin sallow and tense. He trained and slept, nothing else.
"Noah, please, talk to me. What happened?" She clasped his hand between hers.
He sighed. "It's fine, Mio. Nothing you need to concern yourself with. We should focus on the task at hand. We take down Z soon."
"That's ridiculous. N disappeared and I know he's inside you now. You see his memories too, don't you?" Her voice was more accusational than she intended, so she softened it a bit. "I understand, better than anyone else could."
"I know you do. But we don't have time to think about this anymore."
"Noah, you're still here as you are. You can't spend the time you have suffering." She squeezed his hand. "I'm here for you. No, we're all here for you."
He pulled his hand free and wrapped his arms around Mio, hugging her tightly. "I know. I appreciate that."
She hugged him back, arms thrown around his neck, one hand snaking into his hair. "I love you."
He sighed again, though it sounded sharp, painful, like he had been slapped on the back, forcing the air out. "I love you too."
---
Noah was eating again by the next day. He looked better, eyes fuller and skin less sickly. Training with Lucky Seven, his movements were lithe, sharp; his body was honed like a weapon itself, striking like a serpent at just the right moment, amplifying the power of the blade with a streak of skill and passion. He had never been better or more motivated.
Mio watched him after dinner as he practiced his strikes. Sweat beaded on his forehead and stuck his hair to his face, ponytail swinging wildly with each motion. He eventually shed his shirt, exposing his hardened chest as he worked, muscles flexing as he moved, a symphony of nine years of skill and practice in physical form.
"Care for a little dual?" she giggled, walking toward him and summoning her blades. "You're looking awfully confident this evening."
He smirked. "It would be my pleasure."
Mio struck first, attempting to push his blade off-center to expose a weak spot. Noah moved, sidestepping her strike, swinging in from the opposite side only to collide with her other blade. She leaped back and ran forward to his left with blazing speed, dodging another strike and forcing him to block. Each collision of blade was serious; with such faith in each other, they knew that neither would falter and be hit anyway.
They moved like a dance, a shift with each strike to be answered with a strike of their own. And throughout, not for a moment did a grin drop from either of their faces.
And then, Mio slipped. She lost balance and Noah seized the opportunity to rip away her blades by hooking them through the center and launching them away. He had her retaliation motions down to a science, and he pinned her to the floor without any further delay.
"You're looking amazing Noah!" she huffed between pants. "Really, the best you've ever been!"
"Ah, my footwork could still use some work, but, well, thank you. That was fun." He backed off, offering her a hand.
She assumed it would be to pull her to her feet, so when she offered him her hand and she instead found herself pulled into the air, forced to wrap her legs around Noah's chest for stabillity, she eeked in surprise.
"Sorry, I'm a bit sweaty. I guess I should have thought about that first," he chuckled, eyes soft and smile gentle, black locks sticking to his cheeks.
"Ugh! Yes, you should have!" She laced her arms around his neck. "But, I guess I'm just glad you're looking more normal."
He kissed her gently. "I'm trying. I have to spend the time I have left with you wisely."
"Oh? And how do you plan to do that?"
"By giving you the best of me that I can." He kissed her again.
She brushed some of the hair out of his face, smiling. "If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were flirting with me right now."
"Flirting?" He thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah, I guess I am. I am flirting with you." He came to this conclusion with a completely serious look on his face, as if he had proclaimed something of high importance.
She laughed uproariously, causing Noah to lose some of his balance, struggling to keep both of them upright. Even he couldn't resist the silly grin that pulled across his cheeks. Mio pulled him into another kiss, and another, and another.
In another world, they would get to be happy for seventy years until they died together of old age. They'd have kids they'd raise, with the help of their best friends of course, who they'd send off into universe to be happy too. Their love would be storied, their faces would wrinkle in the same places, and they'd communicate in inside jokes and physical affection enviable by any measure.
Instead though, they'd die within the month. They'd be pulled apart by an unseen, unstoppable force, pushed back into time, into a world they never knew existed, ripped from every memory they'd ever made of this place in this time, like they'd never been here at all. How do you grapple with that?
Mio found these thoughts haunting this moment too, and when she looked into Noah's eyes, those same fears looked back. But there was nothing they could do. It was the only way to create the right future.
Their kisses grew more passionate, more open-mouthed. He pressed her back into a wall, pushing into her like they might fuse at their sources, like any single molecule between them would be too much.
He pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers, gasping for breath. She kept her eyes closed.
"Hey, look at me," Noah said, puffing.
"I can't." Her voice shook.
"You should. I love you. I want to see you."
"You can see me."
"Mio, please. Hey." He pulled her up and carried her to a crate, sitting her down carefully, like something incredibly delicate and fragile that could be broken with even the slightest motion. "What's wrong?"
"You know what's wrong." Mio fought the tears with every muscle in her body, like it would be the death of her to let them go. It would betray her attempts to be the one pulling solemn Noah into the light when no one else could.
"Mio..." He was quiet for a moment. "Oh, you know, I wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"For all the amazing things you've been showing me. Now that I have N's memories, I see how much I've been missing out on. You were really trying to share some of that with me, and most of them turned out even better than the memories he had." He touched her cheek. "In so many ways you've given my life meaning."
"Noah, this isn't helping!" A tear threatened to escape. She dared not wonder if he noticed it.
"Ah, um... alright." Another pause. "What if I shut up and we make another memory now?"
"What kind of memory?"
"Well, let me see. You can keep your eyes closed, just give me a few minutes."
Mio's heart burned in her chest, head screaming. Her sharp canines dug into her bottom lip. She wanted to cry out, scream, run away and never look back. Most of all, she wanted to stop this whole thing, keep it all from ending, get her friends to do the same. Fuck the world, save ourselves; Moebius truly was in all of us.
But she wouldn't. She'd stay put, she'd wage war against Z, she'd say her goodbyes. It's the right thing, it's the right thing, it's the right thing.
Noah was making enough rustling noise that it stirred her from her thoughts. Eyes still closed, she strained to hear what he was doing, to no avail.
Quiet, then footsteps. "Okay, are you ready?"
"For what?"
"Do you trust me?"
Mio proclaimed, "Yes," no hint of hesitation.
Without more discussion, Noah tied some kind of cloth around her eyes. It smelled like him.
"Is this comfortable for you?" he said.
"I guess so. What's it for?" She suspected that M might have some answers.
"Well, I'm... I'm going to kiss you again."
"Oy, it'd be more romantic if you just did it you know."
"Oh, right." His hand slid behind her head and into her hair, and his soft lips pressed against hers in a ghost of a kiss. Once, twice, again, again, and his free hand slid off the straps of her shirt and bra off her shoulders. He backed off just enough to slide his thumb between their faces and pulled her mouth ajar, and their breaths intertwined. Gently, he drew his tongue along her lips, inside of them. She reciprocated by licking back, but he kept scant, teasing, moving away when she got too into it.
He pushed her back into a laying position on the crate, her legs dangling at the knee over the edge. Uncertain, she grabbed his back with her hands, and he backed away, out of her grasp. She could hear some jingling, but she couldn't easily identify the sound.
The mystery was quickly solved when he tugged her wrists together and bound them with something tight above her head. It was his belt. This move was something out of a memory. She was almost certain.
"I'll be doing the work this time, Mio." His voice was deeper than usual as he slowly pulled down her top and bra, just enough to reveal her breasts. He slowly drew his tongue around one of her nipples, gently massaging the other breast, then trailed to the center of her chest. She felt a soft bite and gasped as he licked at the marks it seemed to have left. Her wet nipple felt chilly and pulled taught, and these small sensations had her feeling a little dizzy already.
She mused at how he had brought her mood up so easily. Could she really be distracted so easily from such serious problems? In truth, though, reality was set. It was going to happen whether she cried about it or not. The difference between Moebius and Ouroboros was ultimately that Ouroboros appreciated the time they had, not the time they didn't, and she resolved to continue that to her best ability, while Noah gently sucked on her other nipple.
Perhaps there are better times to consider these things. She would channel her anxiety and pain into passion.
"I got to see a lot of what N did to M, you know. I saw all the ways he touched your body." He licked her neck, a hand on her breasts and the other fiddling with the hem of her skirt. "And I need to do something about it."
"Really?" she breathed.
"Yeah. I have to make sure you're completely mine. I won't share you."
"But -- agh!" He licked her again, interrupting her train of thought. "I'm already yours."
"That's not how I see it." He laughed. It was an odd, low laugh. It was N's laugh, or perhaps it merely came from the side of Noah that became N. Here on top of her was both, after all. The line was blurry.
"Then how do you see it?" Something strange bubbled in her chest. It was somewhere between excitement and fear, anxiety and calm, anticipation and patience. Although this was the same person, the same man from before, his energy had changed. She couldn't see him or actively touch him, but she could smell him, hear him, feel him all over her, all heightened by the lack of vision, and something was very different.
"Someone else has been fucking my woman." As he spat that, he pulled her skirt and leggings down haphazardly, leaving them around her knees at the top of her boots. Mio gasped, partially at the sudden cool air hitting her nether region and partially at the sudden vulgarity, far from a typical habit for Noah, a turn of phrase she had never once heard him utter.
"Someone else had his hands all over this body." He ran his hands down her front, nails slightly scraping her skin. It sent waves of something indescribable through every nerve in her body, and she exhaled shakily.
"Someone else thought you were his..." She felt him slide downward, gripping her hips. "...but all along, you were mine."
Who was it speaking? Was it really Noah? Was N in control of his body? Could he do that? Mio's mind swirled, anxiety and arousal fighting for space. She wanted to be wanted, desired. She wanted to cede control to someone she trusted, by Noah and Noah alone. But is this truly Noah?
She felt his fingers sliding inward from her hips. "N-Noah... it's you, right?" His breath peppered her legs, and jolts of excitement shot through her. "You're... my Noah, right?" Her ears twitched, struggling to stay upright.
"Who else could I be?" A finger slid along the outside of her pussy.
"Ah... you're not... N, are you?"
"Is there a difference?"
Going to difficult, huh? Confidence rushed in where doubt rushed out. "Well, are you the one who fucked me before, or not?"
Noah's -- N's? -- laughter filled the room. "I've never fucked you myself, but I have to live with a lot of wonderful memories of someone else doing it for me." He pressed his finger inside of her, causing her legs to twitch.
"Well, that wasn't me in here either!" Her body jerked a little as he thrusted a second finger inside.
"But was it not this body?"
"It was..." He had quickly begun to use a curved motion with his fingers, pressing her in just the right place. Her natural lubricant made her feel sticky.
"Right, it was." Something warm and wet drew slowly across her folds, moving upward. "Let me ask you, then. Do you want to be mine?"
She shuddered at the sensation, moving against his hand as he thrusted it. "Y-yes, of course." Her hands subconsciously pulled against the belt, attempting to free themselves to anchor her, or do anything at all. She could hear the slick, suction sounds as he touched her.
That warm, wet thing drew across her again, stopping at her clit: his tongue. "Yes, you want to be mine? Only mine?" This voice varied in tone between gentle and menacing, N and Noah.
"Yes, I want to be yours... only Noah's."
"Mmh... good girl." His mouth descended on her, swirling around her labia. He pulled his fingers out and slammed his tongue inside of her as far as he could, his nose pressing into her as he lapped. Mio squealed and squirmed, unable to see or move, the sensations firing lightning through her every pore. He moved back to her clit with his mouth and replaced his fingers, moving at a steady pace in and out, his tongue rubbing her in sync.
His free hand grasped a thigh, pulling it out of his way as her lower legs wrapped around his neck, ponytail catching between them. He worked methodically, slowly, paced, and controlled. His hot breath sent shivers through her spine, and she could feel the end coming rather rapidly. He knew just how to touch her, tapping into those memories from long ago.
"Noah... wait... Noah..." she breathed.
Instantly he stopped moving. "Are you okay?" It was Noah this time, for certain.
"I'm fine, yes, I just... wanted to do something else. Can you untie me?"
"Oh, was I... did you not like this? Did I go too far?" He pulled his hand free and moved quickly toward her hands, loosening the knot and removing the belt. Mio immediately removed what was apparently his shirt from her eyes, squinting in the lights and sitting up to see a highly concerned Noah staring back at her, looking from eye to eye for any hints he could glean from them.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just really wanted to..." he stammered.
"No, I had fun. I just..." Why was she feeling shy after all that? The man was literally licking her insides a few seconds ago.
"You... what?" He was kneeling before her, just below her eye level.
"I was just thinking that I want to... actually have sex now. We don't really need to worry about those consequences anymore, so..."
His eyes softened a bit. "Are you sure?"
Mio pulled her shirt and bra off from around her torso, then switched to drop her boots and bottom attire, which had remained bunched around her knees. She discarded them away, sitting entirely naked on a wooden crate at a training ground, while Noah stared on, captivated.
"I've really never been so sure about anything before." He didn't look convinced yet. "We've been connected in so many different ways before. What's one more anyway?" She smiled. "Judging by the number of memories I have on this subject, it's not really that big of a deal. Apparently they even make devices for preventing pregnancy here in the City."
"Yes, right. You're right. Should I... go find some?"
She continued smiling, though she knew the sadness would seep out this time. "I don't think it matters."
"Okay. So, we're doing this then."
"Yes."
"Okay." Noah sat back, removed his boots, Mio watching on. His pants and underwear came shortly after. It felt surreal to see him like this, to be before him like this, just like in their memories but real, right here, right now. It felt mundane and momentous, overwhelming but normal.
When Noah advanced on her this time, she knew it was entirely him. He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, sliding a hand between her legs and caressing. She knew he was making sure, entirely sure she was ready. He leaned his forehead against hers, moving one arm behind her and the other in front, slowly pushing her back to lay again on the crate, carefully, as if he hadn't roughly bit and bound her minutes previously.
She could see him working through his memories for the right moves to make, and they came pretty naturally as he placed himself between her legs, standing. His stiff cock brushed against her entrance, and his face twitched a bit as he searched her face for permission to continue.
"Please take me, Noah." His eyes widened, and it was all he needed.
He pushed himself inside of her, and this Noah and this Mio were finally in that life-making stance, entirely united in that sense for the first time. They both gasped at the sensation, and he leaned forward, pressing his chest against hers. Mio wrapped her arms around his neck, while his hands wrapped around her waist, large enough to cover most of it. His hair dangled alongside her cheeks, and all she could see was him.
"Move," she breathed. He didn't hesitate to do as he was told. He slid his hands to her hips and began slow, purposeful thrusts. They weren't the moves of an amateur, uncertain and unsteady -- he moved like he had done this a thousand times, agile and targeted. Instead of Noah channeling N, now, it was as though it was the opposite, N in control channeling Noah. He gently pressed kisses to her neck, his breath ragged and hot, wrapping around her to her further intoxication.
She wrapped her legs around his back, and the new angle had him hitting even deeper inside. It was starting to feel good, too, beyond the mere situation being enthralling, and Mio let him know it with an assortment of "ah" and "ohh" when it was especially good. This served to drive him further, pushing him closer to the edge. He thrusted harder, faster.
"Mio... do you need my hand too..?" His thick tone sent a shiver through her body, and she instantly knew that he remembered that this body needed clit stimulation to finish. At the beginning, N was always very concerned with her pleasure, although in time he had become more selfish. But this, this was Noah, not N.
"Please." And he did as he was told, placing two fingers against her clit, rubbing in pace with his thrusts. She moaned, head thrown back, and he gently bit her extended neck.
---
"You know they're one in the same, right?" M spoke to Mio in her mind. "It's not N or Noah. There's no sense in trying to differentiate. N is Noah. N was always Noah. He's just whole again. The part of him he lost when he became N was your Noah all along." Mio could see her, long hair flowing, eyes soft and caring. Her reflection.
"Is this what it was like for you in the beginning?" Mio asked.
"Yes, although we had more time than you do, certainly." M smiled, that sadness on her cheeks.
"Right..."
"But, Mio, it's okay to love this moment, you know. You don't become Moebius just by loving Noah or wanting to enjoy your time with him right now." Her eyes spoke volumes of sympathy. "I can't help but feel nostalgic seeing him like this, myself."
"He really is something special, huh?"
"Yes, and so are you."
It was Mio's turn to shine. "So are we! We wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you."
"That's true too, I suppose." Her ephemeral voice echoed in the void of thought.
"It is. You saved us. You maybe even saved the world! And you certainly saved N and Noah... I mean, just Noah."
M laughed. "I wouldn't go that far..."
"Well I would." She grabbed M's hands. "Thank you, for everything."
"Thank you for doing what we couldn't. Now..." M pushed Mio away, and Mio stumbled backward. "Go enjoy that man of ours for me, won't you?"
Alone in the vacuum of space and time, wherever M found herself, she mused that this version of Noah definitely had the better ass, that lucky Mio.
---
The trouble with bodies new to sex paired with brains well-trained at the deed was that the finish line came up rather quickly. Noah's thrusts were precisely tuned to her liking, his cock at the exact depth to flood her with pleasure, paired with his fingers on her clit. Her nails dug into his back and he grunted, biting her again, his sweaty body sticking to hers and increasing the "shlick" sounds they made when they came together.
For her part, she knew that pulsing her muscles internally drove him absolutely wild, and she made sure to squeeze well any time he seemed too focused.
"Can I... finish inside of you?" he managed, voice strangled with effort and pleasure.
"You have to... to make me yours." She knew how to push his buttons, indeed. "So you'll have to."
"Fire and sparks... Mio..." His thrusts became erratic, grinding, pressing even more pressure down into Mio, the tension pulling, pulling, pulling until it came completely undone, a tightly wound rope snapping and releasing a flood of scalding pleasure through every muscle. She squealed, and the tensing of her muscles pushed Noah over the edge too, and she felt that familiar sticky, hot substance flood inside of her as he slammed in one final time with a sharp groan.
They lay still, panting, even sweatier than before. Noah stayed inside of her, resting his head on her chest, his ponytail loose but intact. She cradled his head in her arms. Everything pulsed, from her bottom to her arms to her lips, throbbing from exertion and released tension.
She laughed to herself. It made perfect sense that "making love" resulted in pain. After all, love is awfully painful.
---
The next few days were filled with sneaking moments to enjoy each other's company for Noah and Mio. During the day, it was often passionate kisses, groping, and playful banter. She enjoyed teasing him with suggestive looks and touches, sucking a finger or "accidentally" sitting on his lap. Without fail, she could get his cheeks to burn red, several times having to explain to others that he just felt hot, despite the relatively cool weather. He, in turn, liked to sneak a grasp of her ass or a kiss on the neck when he could, both of which too easily made her gasp aloud.
Nighttime was, of course, full of longer escapes to enjoy some of those more physical pleasures.
Some sessions were slow and loving, some were rougher and more demanding, but most had that dualistic element of both. One night they stayed in the bunk, covered with a blanket, while he fucked her underneath in a spooning position. He kept a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet, and when that didn't work, he shoved some of his fingers inside, which she kept busy with her tongue. Another evening consisted of him using his mouth on her to completion in the war room, leaving teeth marks all over her bottom and thighs, then holding her close as she cried over their inevitable doom.
On the latter occasion, Mio stared into Noah's serene blue eyes as he wiped her tears. A thought came that made her feel a little ill.
"I wonder... if your mother had blue eyes too. Or, was it your father?" New tears welled. "And who did you get your black hair from?"
"Mio," he said quietly. "Hey, it's okay."
"I wonder what your mother was like. Was she kind like you? And your father, I wonder if he taught you how to fish."
"I... I don't know Mio."
"We'll never know, will we?" Her ears lay flat against her head. "You and I, M and N, none of us know who we really are, or were, or whatever this makes us."
Noah pulled her head to his chest, which she willingly collapsed into. " You know, Mio, I think if you had a mother, she'd be like Queen Nia."
"What?" she sniffled.
"Yes. She'd be kind but tough, you know? Smart, and powerful, and reliable, and kind of funny. And, I suppose that she'd look an awful lot like Nia too."
"I guess she does... kinda look like me."
"She does! She's almost as beautiful as you."
Silence, interrupted by waning sniffles.
"Do you think my mother loved me? The... the real me?"
Noah kissed her head. "I know she did. And she would love this you too. Who wouldn't love you?"
How do you love with an expiration date? How do you live when that end is based on your actions? How can you sacrifice all of it for your ideals when you can't be certain it'll turn out any better as a result?
But then, how could you live with yourself knowing what you're all missing out on? How can you rise in the morning on the fumes of the dead? How can you really think that living forever is worth the cost of an entire world's children?
The cost was high. They would gladly pay it, if that's what it had to be.
And they threw their hopes to the stars or the winds or whatever it was that could move them that the red string of fate would pull them together again.