Chapter Text
Mornings are not that encouraging. Drifting away from a dream-like state only to live life does not sound that difficult, but the fact that it is currently six a.m. might just make it a bit more challenging.
Routines were so familiar to Kiyoomi that he often found himself waking up various minutes before the bothersome song his boyfriend chose as an alarm went off. Osamu had warned Kiyoomi about the uncountable number of times he had to deal with waking his twin up only to hear him whining. As of today, Kiyoomi would say Atsumu still whines, just not in the same way Osamu had told him.
You see, waking up before the alarm is not a survival instinct. Those precious minutes in the early morning lend themselves to Kiyoomi’s delight.
The silence, the tranquility, and the dim light that shone through the curtain subtly illuminated his still-asleep boyfriend’s body. For now, the only thing he can appreciate is his back, the one whose muscles can be seen at first sight; after all, he was a sportsman. Those broad shoulders, scapula -what’s left of our wings-, the spine, the freckles that map out a tiny galaxy, everything tempts Kiyoomi to get closer and gently trace each vertebra from the nape down to his back dimples as if it was a fragile crystal.
He listens to how his lover’s breathing starts to lose that slow pace, indicating he’ll eventually wake up, meaning Kiyoomi can hug him from behind. And despite only being able to see a small fraction of Atsumu’s face, the serenity radiated by his boyfriend soothes him.
How come there was a part of his life where Atsumu was not in it?
The blonde’s presence in his life didn’t have the best of beginnings; he remembers those warm summer days when he got invited to his first volleyball youth camp. It’s not like it made him feel any kind of excitement, but seeing people at his level did raise his curiosity.
Most of those days were easy-going, yet a certain annoying-dyed guy seemed to get in his way. From unnecessary remarks to way too close physical approaches, it was hard to ignore him.
It was unbearable, to hear that smooth voice crack due to his non-stop shouting.
A waste, to see such a pretty face adorned with an awful hair dye.
A shame, for Kiyoomi to still be drawn to whatever this guy seemed to have. Despite being a mess, Miya had his lucid moments, whether was checking up on him or asking him all sorts of questions
He enjoyed having Atsumu around.
Eventually, the camp ends, but he knew someday, somewhere they would find each other on the court.
Time only proves Kiyoomi right; with each tournament, both paths seem to collide.
It was hard to ignore the growing affection.
Years go by and the sudden worry of having a stable future hits Kiyoomi. He'd have to give up volleyball in order to focus fully on school.
This new stage of life hit him hard. Leaving both his passion and family behind, he found himself lost and alone. He didn’t like it. Waking up every morning with no one’s presence but his was suffocating. Kiyoomi was so used to having his cousin around that he forgot how lonely it feels and how hard it is to make friends. After all, Motoya was the one who would introduce him to people. It’s all gone now.
But what frustrated him the most was not understanding the classes. His life soon became a constant loop of stress and study. It was only a matter of time before loneliness brought the worst out of him.
Nights eventually felt longer and mornings became hopeless.
He vividly remembers, the day he finally shattered.
He decided to lock himself up in his dorm after receiving the most devastating news—that he had failed a class. He recalls laying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling while listening to a likely sad song, closing his eyes and letting it all out. He remembered crying. Even so, he felt the need to watch old videos on his phone in the early morning to remember the good old days. He discovered a "Sakusa Kiyoomi Best Plays Compilation" that Motoya had given him for his birthday.
He smiles, "It's nostalgic."
There was no doubt that twelve to seventeen-year-old him was euphoric, and there was no doubt that he enjoyed volleyball.
The video continues to play, and footage of youth camp appears; the play was flawless, and he even noticed his younger self smiling after that spike, but he also notices congratulatory screams coming from an annoying blonde. He never thought seeing both Atsumu and himself smile would bring tears to his eyes.
Kiyoomi was happy.
We sometimes leave our passions behind for the sake of convenience, and in doing so, we leave a part of ourselves behind.
He remembers looking up videos of Atsumu, who, apparently, was now playing for the MSBY Black Jackals. Hours were spent being fascinated by Atsumu's facility for the game and devotion to the sport that the now platinum blonde possessed. Not only did he grow up as a player, but he also looked different.
The insatiable hunger made a fool out of Kiyoomi; he became a fan, attending every Black Jackals match he could, and even if he couldn't, he would still analyze the matches. Volleyball hooked Kiyoomi once more and finally made him feel like he belonged somewhere. It became his motivation.
With that in mind, he was ready to go back to the sport once he graduated.
Next thing you know, he had already become a member of his university’s volleyball team, and just like once in the past, his name resonated everywhere: “Itachiyama’s Sakusa" and “One of Japan’s Top 3 Spikers".
Resilience and pure effort made Kiyoomi triumphant inside and out of the court, and even if it took him half a year longer than everyone else to graduate, he finally surpassed this path.
When hearing about Sakusa’s graduation, all kinds of volleyball teams offered him a spot.
Shcweiden Adlers, Tachibana Red Falcons, and EJP Raijin were some of the many big names in his inbox, and he won’t deny it, choosing one was the hardest part. It took him a couple of weeks to figure it out, but one Friday he made up his mind. He chose the Schweiden Adlers. He was waiting for the weekend to be over so he could send the confirmation letter, but something interrupted his plans. A last-minute letter had arrived, and he opened it without even checking who the correspondent was. He recalls reading, “With our most sincere appreciation and with a recommendation letter from one of our players, we heartily invite Sakusa Kiyoomi to the upcoming MSBY Black Jackals try-outs." That was not a job offer like the others; it was a chance, and despite having already chosen, he just couldn’t let go of this opportunity.
And there he was, standing on the court.
It wasn’t really hard to tell that Kiyoomi would pass the tryouts.
Foster’s eyes basically gave away the answer by the way he saw him spike.
But if there's one thing he'll never forget, it's the sparkle in the setter's eyes that made his spike possible. It remained the same.
And even though the blonde was badmouthing him for thinking that was all it would take to make them satisfied, Kiyoomi’s life started to drain in color.
The barrier he had built to protect himself from others crumbled, and he started opening up to his teammates.
He recalls getting to know Atsumu better with each passing day, how they began to hang out more than usual, and how they arrived and left together. How they felt at ease with each other, how their lives became more enjoyable, and how everything changed from their routine to the way they began to look at each other, to like, to need, to touch, to feel, to love.
Kiyoomi knew better than anyone that he wasn't perfect, but "being" with Atsumu made him feel like he was and deserved it. He knew there was a place he could belong without having to worry about anything just by looking into those golden eyes. A place, where his boyfriend would make sure to remind him how handsome he was or how he would go out of his way to help him with the cleaning, or how he would ask permission before holding his hand, him carrying extra hand sanitizer and face mask everywhere, setting the ball for him, hugging, kissing, or making love with him.
He is truly grateful to Atsumu for demonstrating his love in every action or word he makes or says, and for having someone so devoted to him.
How come there was a part of his life where Atsumu was not in it?
His lover's words from yesterday ring in his ears. “Loving you is just natural to me."
Even if we both came from different places, we ended up in the same place.
Kiyoomi kisses Atsumu's nape, only to discover that he has awakened him.
- Sorry, did I wake you up?
- It's ok Omi…
Atsumu turns around and wraps his arms around the other's body before saying:
- I had a weird dream…
- What about?
- Something ‘bout ya choosing the Schweiden fucking Adlers and wearing their nasty jersey.
- Did I look hot in it?
- I mean, yeah, but that’s not the point.
Atsumu opens his eyes and kisses Kiyoomi’s moles, once he feels satisfied, he asks:
- Say, if the Schweiden Adlers were to offer ya like, seven hundred thousand dollars, would ya choose me or would ya leave me?
- Atsu, it was a pleasure to meet you; Wakatoshi-kun is calling.
- Omi, you traitor!
- Hello, Wakatoshi-kun. -says Kiyoomi pretending to be on a phone call with Ushijima- Please tell Kageyama to get a decent haircut for once.
- Pff…
- Oh, Hoshiumi is there as well? Tell him his mother says hello.
- Haha, nice; now say something bad about Ushijima.
- Wakatoshi-kun, I wish you a wonderful day.
- Omi!
- Yeah, and touch some fucking grass. Oh? No, don’t put that much thought into it Wakatoshi-kun. -the fake call ends-
- HAHAHA, I love ya Omi.
- Love ya more.
A still curious Atsu dares to ask:
- So you will eventually leave me for them?
- Strategically, I won't because I know I'm at my best with you as my setter.
- So I prevail?
- Yes, but it's not like I haven't made that decision before.
- Huh…?
He just brushes it off with a kiss on the lips.
Kiyoomi positions himself on top of Atsumu, his hands wrapping around his chest and up to his neck, where he leaves a tray of pecks. Because Atsumu is still sleepy, he follows Omi's lead, placing his hands on the taller's waist and kissing him back. Ten seconds later, that one annoying song the blonde chose as his alarm goes off, they both whine until Atsumu turns it off.
Once done, Atsumu now climbs on top of his Omi and starts kissing his forehead, nose, cheeks, and everywhere else but his lips. Kiyoomi's hands slide around the small of Atsumu's back, the one he'd been staring at all morning, so he can pull him close enough to kiss again, the blonde continues to tease as his lips move towards his ear, but he abruptly stops and says sweetly:
- Say Omi.
- Hmm?
- What about ya?
- What about me?
- Remember yesterday's question?
- Oh.
-When did you realize you wanted "to be" with me?
- I wonder... -he muses aloud while caressing his lover's cheeks-
Kiyoomi notices Atsumu's adorable blush as he finds an answer while they look into each other's eyes, both fond and full of love.
- Guess I always knew.
- Hmm, that's a cute answer.
- It's the truth, Atsu.
- Thank ya Omi.
Atsumu pronounces as he finally kisses Kiyoomi's lips.