Chapter Text
He could smell it without being close, and he almost fancied he could see it through the carry bag. Like it glowed with some unearthly essence. A trickle of sweat made its way down his spine and he took one step closer to the bag. Everything else began to fall away. The heat of the summer's day felt cold, and the birds chirping sounded a lot like voices. Voices telling him to move quickly.
“Will!”
Will felt like he’d been struck by lightning, and immediately all of his senses came rushing back so quickly it staggered him. He fell to the dirt in the medical tent, unable to do anything but watch as Halt stalked up to him.
“Feeling unwell, boy?” Halt’s eyes were dark.
Will shook his head and swallowed. “Just here for...” And suddenly he couldn’t even remember why he had entered the tent in the first place. Someone had sent him here, hadn’t they? Maybe Horace? Or Evanlyn? He couldn’t be certain. Everything had taken on a dream-like quality, and he found himself wondering if he had merely appeared in the tent, having never existed before at all.
Suddenly Halt was in front of him, one hand on his shoulder and the other cupping his chin, forcing him to look up. He was talking, and Will could hear it, but he couldn’t comprehend the words. Then Halt turned and called something over his shoulder. Horace appeared at the entrance to the tent, then Evanlyn, and Gilan. Among them, only Evanlyn looked at him with distress and pity that the others couldn’t begin to understand.
Gilan and Horace came in, each grabbed one of Will’s arms and hauled him out of the tent, out into the bright light and fresh air. The world snapped back with sudden clarity.
“Are you with us Will?” Halt growled from behind and Will shook his head to clear it.
“I’m with you.” he said, “Sorry Halt.”
Halt just sighed.
That night, Will couldn’t sleep. The bag called to him, sang to him in a siren song from all the way from the medical tent, but he didn’t dare stir. Even with his senses dulled from a lack of training, he could tell Halt was awake, laying a meter away from him and listening. It wouldn’t do for Halt to know how bad he was struggling, not when he’d only just started to trust him again. He’d have to wait.
Halt itched in the dark, watching his young apprentice pretend to be asleep. Every instinct urged him to go over, to hold the boy. To wake him so they could talk. And more, to whisk him away so he could heal properly. But unfortunately, they didn’t have that luxury. Halt just hoped Will could hold on a little longer, that his strength wouldn’t give out until they were in a better position to care for him. Out here, in the heat and the thick of battle, he was being forced to walk on metaphorical broken bones and doing things like that caused permanent damage. Halt knew that all too well.
Will tossed a little, but his breathing levelled out, and Halt let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He knew though he wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.
It was a full week before Will found himself alone in the medical tent again, but this time his resolve had strengthened, and he was prepared for the temptation as soon as it hit him. He was not prepared, however, for the smell to be so strong or for his body to act without his mind. Before he knew it, his fingers were in the bag, and the dried herbs were being crushed to his mouth. He knew nothing else from that point on.
Evanlyn ached all over as she stared at the mindless heap on the floor of the tent. She wanted to drag him away, hide him so no one else could see. His shame was her shame. They had battled through so much together, and he’d finally returned somewhat to the person he’s been. But she’d let him down and now he’d taken a huge leap backwards. It could be months until Will broke through again.
Halt brushed past her, and stopped with a curse.
“Oh Will.” he breathed, “What have you done.”