Chapter Text
Prologue: Watch Your Shell
When the fairy godmothers fought over whether a blue or pink dress fit the Princess, the young King of the Dark Lands judged that pink did indeed look much better on this Princess ‘Aw-roar-ah’, as she and Prince ‘Fill-up’ danced away in the ballroom.
A young Bowser closed the book and sank back into the cushions of his reading nook. After finding it gathering dust around a rusty warp pipe, he swiped it, only bothering to 'check' ownership by hollering into the air, then bolting before anyone could answer. Besides, Kamek never shut up about "reading more" - not that those boring textbooks ever got a crease - and this one had cool pop-ups. Cool pop-ups. So if you asked him, that was a win-win, not that a different opinion would matter regardless. It had pretty pictures, a pretty Princess who slept all the time, and a pretty Prince who woke her up with a true love’s kiss! And a gnarly witch who turned into a dragon, although the Prince stabbed it, sending it tumbling down a cliff near the end.
Bowser would have to demand this ‘Wart Diz-knee’ Koopa to change that. After all, why couldn’t they all get along? ‘Monsters’ were cool too, but the book made them sound like a bad thing. It wore a neat set of scales just like him. It breathed an awesome green flame just like…well he’d be able to do so soon enough. And it flew! He definitely couldn’t do that, but Kamek promised him his own clown 'copter soon! No ask was too big for his Dad.
Bowser flipped back a few pages and traced the flame again with a claw, not quite as shimmery as his scales and clearly nonsense - no green fire existed without some chemical jumbo mumbo. Still, once he could breathe at least red flame from his maw, he knew he'd look just fine. Handsome. Maybe even more handsome than that weird looking, definitely not Koopa, prince. Red and green, he decided, had a nice contrast. Red on red had been getting old, a bit boring, in his paintings of fire and destruction, but green and red... he'd try it later.
“Wow…I’m a Dragon and a Prince, huh? What's left is a Princess.” He puckered his lips, placing them on an imaginary blonde’s cheek. Not on her lips, though, ‘cause that’s how Koopas got Kooties.
Elbow propped on the nook's ledge, Bowser let the sunlight that broke past distant volcanoes' rings of smoke bathe his scales. Finally, a break from boring routine. First came breakfast, school, lunch, more stupid school, dinner, training, then bed. Over and over. At least his minions did whatever he wanted, but sometimes he wished they stuck around on free days like this. Kamek always yammered about the "lines between a King and his minions," but Bowser thought maybe, just maybe, having someone else read books - not to him, but with him - would make them feel less... lonely. Even the paints couldn't keep the quiet away forever.
Sunlight spilled over to his stupidly heavy royal shell and the green backpack that imitated all the other Koopas' shells. Kamek, once again, kept yammering about wearing the royal shell for "protection" and "caution" and all that boring stuff, contradictory to adventure. The weather practically demanded one, and besides, he wasn't going to be outside that long. Perfect excuse to show off the 'dragon' part of his title. He hauled himself up and got ready to practice breathing flame again. And hey, Kamek would probably like that better outside the bedroom anyway, since it wouldn't "raze the castle to the ground". It was only one time!
The backpack’s straps flew behind him as the Koopa skipped and galloped to the courtyards. Humming a waltz tune from that oldie’s music class—which, out of all the boring lessons, he actually kind of liked—he danced with his imaginary Princess, leaving a trail of pawprints stamped on the red carpet all the way to the courtyard.
In front of him, the gates stood like a challenge, daring to stop their King. Little did they know, he'd treat them like weights in his workout routine. He bent his knees - not his back, like Kamek always warned, or he'd end up with a hunch like a hag - and lifted them effortlessly, holding the gap open for his pretend lady with a grand "after you!". He basked in the coos over his strength...until a nasty crunch came from behind. One inch from being a tailless Koopa, the gate's spikes dug into the stone floor as the chains' cogs clacked together.
A close one, but what was the saying again? If a tree burnt in a forest, and no one was around to hear it, was it really his fault? He checked left, then right for any witnesses, and sprinted past the crime scene. No need to stick around and find out.
Once in the clear, the courtyard's familiar heat welcomed its little regular as his pitter patters bounced off the sedimentary walls where gurgling waterfalls of lava flowed. The magma bubbles' pops blended with the white noise, providing a place to think. To breathe. Letting the sulfur fill his lungs and the heat seep deep beneath his scales, he rolled up his obsidian bracers and huffed with determination.
Today would be the day he’d breathe fire.
So maybe today wasn’t the day after all.
The young King flopped onto the bedrock, heaving along with the uneven rumbles that shook the tectonic floor. Earlier, he zigzagged between the procession of statues, copying every single pose like a pro: he scrunched his eyebrows putting on his scariest face like King Rakett, he blew air to the corner of his mouth for a bit of snark with Queen Pommi’s signature side-eye, and at the last one, he struck the ultimate victory pose, a knee bent over a stone, arms crossed, like King Morton Koopa Senior’s.
He looked up at his so-called father.
Kamek reminded him each and every time that this, Morton, was his 'father', and that he should show respect.
But out of all the naggings, he hated that one the most. How could he respect this…thing standing there like a big dumbo? He’d respect it more if this guy told him how to breathe fire already. He rolled around, kicking and punching the floor, but he wouldn’t dare cry. Kings didn’t cry.
He just wished someone like him was around though. Someone who just...got it. Someone who could show him, instead of always telling him.
“Hic, sniff, hic…?” Wiping away dripping snot, his sniffles bounced off the walls. He whispered a quick thanks to the Stars that no one witnessed his totally uncool cry...growls!
But maybe out there, there'd be a dragon just like in the book? What if he took a chance, just like Prince 'Fill-up', and braved the castle walls, the thicket of thorns, and after the cool monster dragon taught him how to find his flame, he'd find his own sleeping beauty. And then they'd all be friends!
With a toothy grin, he sprinted across the drawbridge that beckoned him into the world beyond. Pebbles and dirt flew in his wake as he skidded to a stop at the foot of a jagged hill—a worthy challenge for the King of Koopas. Maybe, just maybe, he’d run into a dragon along the way. It could give him a few tips and tricks! Then everyone would gasp at the awesome flames he’d finally master. After all, the book had told him exactly what to do.
He needed an adventure.
“Woah…”
At the hill’s peak divided his home and this foreign land in front of him. A floral fragrance tickled his nose, instead of a pungent sulfur that attacked it everyday. The humid air played with his hair, unlike the arid winds that whipped it around just moments before. White cotton-candy clouds brightened the sky as lush greenery waved at him below, a stark contrast to the darkness that smothered the land behind him in ash and smoke. He rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the glare that bounced from seemingly everywhere.
Irritating, but not bad. Not bad at all.
Readying himself, he slid down the smooth hillside. The grass cushioned his descent, the leaves glimmered like tiny emeralds, almost the same color as the dragon’s breath, so it seemed like the right track. He bounced past curious Piranha plants, leapt over trickling streams, and dodged plopping Cheep Cheeps, feeling like the first explorer ever to explore this strange, lush land. He'd made a mental note to expand the Dark Lands into this promising territory.
“A-Ah!” He shuddered after quickly dipping his toe in and out of the river as the water here didn’t steam up like the baths at home. He took the chance to study his own clear reflection, unblemished by any steam or hot air. When blades of grass and specks of dirt ruined his image instead, he determined to make the effort for the eventual Princess or Prince down the road. He’d have to show his best side, which was all sides, but still. Fashion was pain and what kind of Koopa King would he be if he couldn’t face the cold? With held breath, he closed his eyes real tight and braced for impact.
“Phew!” He shook around on all fours, as droplets scattered all over the water primrose near the shore. He reexamined his image, dragged a claw through his bushy eyebrows, and fixed his hair into a ponytail.
Now, who wouldn’t fall for this handsome Koopa? His reflection winked right back at him until a sweet smell caught his attention.
This wasn’t floral. This was something better.
He followed the scent’s trail to a tee weaving in between the trees and foliage. Smacking some bushes aside, they revealed a small shop with the words ‘ICE CREAM’ emboldened on the storefront.
With a squee he ran towards the treasure and flew past the town square. When he slammed the wooden door open, it whined as one of the hinges came loose. Yet, the chimes swayed ever so gently despite his strength, as the young King commanded with his utmost regal voice to the Koopas behind the countertop,
“Give me all da ice cream you have, now!”
“Oh! Oh my! Aren’t you just the cutest little thing?” Not quite the response a serious King preferred, a Koopa cooed behind the counter. She wore a green shell like the Koopa Troopas back home, but with no Dark Land insignia to be found. Another Koopa scooped him up from behind. This much taller Koopa wore a blue shell like the elite guard that trained with him. But he wore a smooth shell as circular scarred outlines indicated where spikes should have been, yet, none showed.
“Hey there Sonny!”
“P-Put me down! That’s treason! Or…something.” Darn it, why did the words always come out wrong? What was the point of not listening to classes then, Kamek?!?
“Woah! Okay, little guy. This one’s got a temper huh?” The blue-shelled Koopa turned Bowser around and patted him on the shoulder. “Sonny! Are you lost?”
“No! I’m not lost. I’m hungry.” Bowser reached into his backpack and pulled out a sack of coins. On his tippy-toes, he tossed it on the countertop as some coins clacked and dangled on the ledge. While the Koopa couple gave him a dumbfounded look and then to each other, he tapped an impatient claw on the glass.
“Can I try this one?” The pink batch labeled, ‘Peach Blast’ sparkled in his eyes.
“Sonny, you can try as many as you want.”
"...Thanks for teaching me kid, to be careful with what I say."
Bowser licked the spoon clean and sank into the soft seats as the dessert dripped down his maw. The couple had treated him to a towering sundae piled high with a homemade mix called “Koopa Tracks” and mint chocolate. The green goop looked suspicious at first, but after one taste, he couldn’t deny how perfectly it blended with the peanut butter and caramel. The pink scoops might’ve been weird on their own, but alongside the green chocolate, they melted into something magical. He eyed the other empty sundaes on the table, each one gone too quickly—proof this stuff didn’t stick around for long.
Way too hot for this in the Dark Lands, he thought, licking his paws. If only he could make this territory his…. Every bite made him want it more, stuffed to the brim with flavors he’d never experienced, feeling like he’d discovered a secret kingdom just for him. It already had a bunch of minions too, although they looked a bit different than the Koopas back home.
Before Bowser could demand the couple to give him more, the door’s chimes rang once more as another smaller Koopa marched in.
“Mom! Dad! I’m home!”
“Welcome home, Sweetie!”
“Koots! C’mere!” Bowser watched the taller Koopa scoop up this ‘Koots’ into his arms, as the shorter one badgered him on to put their son down already so she could ask about how school went.
This strange feeling rose in the pit of his stomach. Did he eat too much ice cream? But he barely had any and could handle 10 more if he wanted. He did it before. Yet, unable to turn his head away from the scene, he stared at Koots talking to his Mom as his Dad let him go. Their collective laughter rang in his ears.
Could his Dad do that too?
“Hey! You look weird! You’re like us, but not!” The smallest Koopa snapped him out of his daze and got on his nerves! He’d have his minions throw this dumbo in the dungeons, but he couldn't give the order. The family stared at him as if he shouldn't have been there in the first place. As if he didn't belong.
“Koots! Apologize right now.”
“Uhm? S-sorry! I didn’t mean anything bad…” Bowser sat there in silence until soft hands pulled him close.
“Sweetie, what’s your name?”
“Y-You don’t know my name? I’m King Bowser!”
“King?” The couple looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. “Sonny, after all that ice cream, you’re too sweet to be a King!”
“Oh…” Great. His reign over all Koopas started off fantastic.
“Aw, I’m sorry Sweetie. I’m afraid we don’t know anyone by that name.”
“It’s just a bit of a shocker that’s all! Most of us here usually have names that start with ‘K’, Mr. King, so…” The mother shot a nasty glance at the father tripping over his words.
“Come here, Sweetie.” Bowser leaned into her outstretched arms. As she knelt down and held him, swaying him along with the rhythm of the chimes’ jingles, Bowser admired how scary and warm a Mom could be. He’d have to ask Kamek for one later.
“We should ask the neighbors if anyone knows this little one.” Her voice rumbled softly throughout his plastron.
“I’m just saying, not being a King is a good thing. Anyways, Koots! You can do your homework later for once. For now, can you keep Bowser company?”
“Got it, Dad!” Ugh, now he was stuck with this twerp. When the couple hugged Koots, he crossed his arms and pouted, turning away from this annoying Koopa that got all the attention.
“Koots, be nice okay?” To his surprise, they walked over to Bowser and hugged him too. Bowser froze, unsure of what to do.
“Alright, we’ll be right back!” Jingles rang as the door shut. Bowser wanted them to stay like that for longer, until Koots scooted next to him on the seats, invading his royal space.
“Hey, cool backpack! It looks just like my shell!”
“T-thanks.” Bowser kept his head turned away from this dweeb. When he grew bigger and badder like his ancestors, he swore he’d stomp on-
“Sorry, we got off on the wrong foot back there. Let's be friends!”
“F-friends?”
“Yea!”
“What’s that?”
“Huh? You don’t know?” Koots stared at him with a look he didn’t like. It made him feel...stupid.
“H-hey! Is that like a cool minion? Underling? H-Henchman?”
“What?!? No! Friends are like buddies for life! They share ice cream, and toys, and play with each other all the time!”
“Woah…really?" There could be a 'friend' minion? He assumed this title came with utmost importance. "I always wanted someone to play with forever…”
“You're really weird! Hey, you know what? We’re friends now, whether you like it or not.”
“Friend…” Even though he didn’t know the word, the fact that the other Koopa talked to him in a brazen fashion unlike the troops that obeyed his every word, and unlike the ‘matter-of-fact’ manner Kamek scolded him in, felt different. Nice even.
“By the way, your name is really cool! I wish mine was as cool as yours…”
“Well I haf’ta be super cool! So I can rule the Kingdom one day!”
“That’s a crazy dream, Bowser! But if anyone could do it, you could.”
“T-thanks.”
“Let’s go play! Last one up there's a loser!”
“H-hey!”
His new 'minion-friend' raced him to the top of a hill in the shop’s backyard. Bowser flopped and rolled down the slope, tumbling past Koots with a laugh to see who could roll farther. Purple flowers—“lavend-ah” or something—smelled weird but he chomped a few anyway, even if they didn’t calm him like Koots promised. At the peak, he shoved more ice cream into his maw, grinning with sticky fingers. They plopped onto the grass and pointed at clouds, guessing what shapes they made—dragons, fireballs, castles, maybe even a giant scoop of ice cream. Thank the Stars for a breather; any more tumbling and he’d probably spew rainbows all over the backyard.
He shot a fist up to the sky and clenched around a puffy cloud, squeezing it like it owed him coins.
“I’m gonna make this kingdom mine too.”
“What! This kingdom's already owned by a Princess!” Bowser’s horns perked up at the word.
“Princess?!? What does she look like? Is her name ‘Aw-roar-ah’?”
“No, her name’s Peach. She’s a human and always wears these pink poofy dresses. Blonde hair and super nice! But, if you ask me, it's not really my style.” Bowser put a claw on his taste buds, wondering if this ‘Peach’ matched the sweetness of the ‘Peach Blast’ he sampled earlier. “But my mom and dad told me that we have to be reallyyy nice to her, since her family was really nice to us by giving us a home.”
“S-so I can’t have it?” He paused, thinking back to the book’s guidance. Maybe there were rules to this whole ‘happily ever after’ thing after all. Man, books are good for learning, he muttered, sticking out his tongue. He’d have to be clever—maybe even listen to Kamek a tiny bit more next time—before launching his first-ever master plan. But first, the charms. Oh yes, who could resist these charms? Once he merged both kingdoms…he’d let this ‘princess’ person share a teensy bit, then they could play real house, and maybe, just maybe, be friends—if they were lucky enough to keep up with him!
“I mean I don’t know. But apparently, when my Mom and Dad fled from the war, they came here. They never talked about where they came from though…saying that the Mushroom Kingdom is my home and to never go over there!” Koots pointed in the direction of where Bowser started his adventure.
“But I’m from there!” Bowser blinked. Wait…so the war was real? For the first time, he regretted skipping one of Kamek’s real lessons. All he remembered was that it was his dumb statue of Dad who started it. All that stuff about battles, treaties, and why he had to stay inside—he always thought it was some silly trick adults used to boss kids around! No wonder he was stuck in this weird “never go outside” situation.
“Really? What’s it like over there then?”
“It’s a lot different than this place. It’s really hot, and super dark, and I have a castle there too! And lots of things to play with.”
“A whole castle?!? Can I come over sometime?”
“Y-Ye…Yeah!” Bowser’s eyes lit up. “Hey, what’s your favorite ice cream? I’ll have all the chefs make it and mix it with mine! And we can, make weapons and spar, too! And Kamek can get us custom toys to play with!” He waved his claws around, almost tripping over his excitement. “Yeah! We can do it all together!”
"My Dad never lets me play with his weapons! Let's do it!"
"Why not?"
"I dunno, he says they're dangerous or something. I think he just doesn't want me to have fun."
"Ugh...same here."
"Um, Bowser, what's that?" A large shadow covered the two children, as an airship blotted out the sky. The engines’ whirs blasted in the distance as the trees’ leaves blew furiously at its approach. The familiar insignia of the Dark Lands crashed through the clouds, daring anyone to look up and witness its strength. Finally, something to even out the brightness of this place!
“GET DOWN FROM — !” Hurried voices interrupted Bowser basking in the shade, as Koots’ Mom and Dad flailed about in a rush. “Why are — here? In this remote — Mushroom Kingdom?” Loud whirs of the ever-approaching airship cut off their voices. Bowser couldn't make sense of the words.
“Mom, Dad? What’s going on?” Koots yelled.
“We’ll explain later son, but we need to go.” Bowser blinked, when did the Blue Koopa get up here? And since when did he have wings? And since when did he have a spiky spear? Koots sure wasn't lying about the weapon. “Sonny, you too.”
“B-but that’s my - !”
“Sonny, Now! Kiddos, go to your Mom!” Bowser lurched forward when Koots’ Dad pulled him close. Before Bowser could question where this strength came from, a familiar set of colorful shapes clasped the blue Koopa's wings shut. As Koots' Dad levitated in place, Bowser caught his friend and landed on his feet, steadying themselves on the mound.
“Unhand His Majesty now.”
“His Majesty?!? UGH!” The hexes tightened around the winged Koopa.
“Dad!” Koots screamed.
“Kamek?” Bowser shouted.
“Young Master!” Kamek called, his voice sharp.
“Advisor Kamek.” Koot's Dad growled.
As Kamek turned his full attention to the tied-up Koopa, Bowser winced at the glare burning from Kamek’s face. It wasn't quite like when he nagged him, but something…else, almost as hot as the lava that dripped on the courtyard’s walls,
“General Koopburn. My, my. What a sight! After all these years, here you are.”
“Why are you here. GAH.” The hexes tightened.
“Because you're graciously kidnapping our Royal Majesty, deserter.”
“No wonder no one knew who this was - !”
With a flick of Kamek's wand, the hexes tightened once more around Koopburn. A nasty crunch resonated from the magical chains, as a wing bent in a direction Bowser knew didn’t go that way. Yet, no cry came from Koopburn, as steely eyes glared back at Kamek.
“Just leave my family alone. They have nothing to do with this.”
“As much as I’d like to do that, this entire town saw the new King of the Koopas, and that must be dealt with immediately.”
“Tell your Dad to leave my Dad alone!” Koots pleaded.
“I-I…?” Bowser stammered.
“Koots, get back!” His mom ran up the hill and held her son close, her entire body shaking uncontrollably. Bowser stepped forward, certain that one command from him would make their dads stop - but she flinched, turning his friend away from him.
In front of her, the all too familiar warships demolished the trees, as Koopa Troopas and other soldiers marched through the town tying up citizens in chains. The familiar screams and cries for help bound her in place. What they tried to escape, caught up to them after all.
The airship above cast Bowser’s shadow that loomed over her, threatening to eat them up whole, reminding her of the ruler they once served.
She whispered,
“Monster.”
What did she say?
“Get away from my Mom, you m-monster!”
Did his friend just push him?
“Young Master!”
The world spun upside-down again and again until his back slammed into something hard, knocking the wind out of him. Groaning, he squinted up to see his troops swarming the two Koopas at the top of the hill. His friend’s finger jabbed at him, accusing him of something he wasn’t…right? Bowser rolled the other way, wincing. He tried his best to ignore his friend's glare burning holes into his aching back. He really missed that royal shell right now.
The Prince saved the Princess, as the monster tumbled down the cliff.
But he was the monster?
...Why?
“— Master! — get his shell now!” Kamek’s words wavered in and out of his daze. That earlier feeling of something deep within his stomach rose once more. Did he eat too much ice cream after all? Did they roll down the hill one too many times? It made its way to his chest. As if he’d vomit any second. This need to let something, anything out.
“Young Master!” A red-orange haze blurred the world. It felt good.
“Young — !” Now yellow, the blaze brightned fiercly, almost as if it were swallowing all the colors behind it into a harsh, white-hot glow. The heat seared through his chest, sharp and biting, making him wince. But with each flare, it seemed to burn away something heavier inside, something he didn't have the words for.
“BOWSER! THAT’S ENOUGH.”
A hex snapped his maw shut, cutting off the stream of flames.
He stood there.
Soot lay in place of where a home once stood.
The sign creaked crooked, the letters’ ink seeped into the rubble.
Ice cream puddles morphed together melting into a black bubbling ooze.
A sickeningly sweet smell intoxicated the air.
He couldn’t breathe.
“Bowser! How many times have I told you to not go outside! You there, get me an ice flower, now!”
A wail pierced through Kamek’s words. Not quite a howl, a roar, or a cry, it’d haunt the Magikoopa forever.
"D-D-Dad..." The young Koopa hid in blue robes, where dribbles of puke and tears bled through the fabric.
A familiar hand, yet unfamiliar tender touch, pressed against his pounding head and a haggard but gentle voice whispered in his ear, “What would you like me to do with these scoundrels, my Lord?”
“I - *hic* I don’t care.”
“There, there...you don’t need to worry about a thing, s-son.”
He leaned into the vibrations from Kamek’s words massaging his head as the cries below became distant. He peeked out from the robes and looked down. As promised, Kamek brought a Clown 'Copter, now providing a once wished-for dragon's-eye view of the ashes below. Yet, as mechanical hums tried to muffle the crackles of embers burning in the forest, no matter how hard he pressed his claws against his head or squeezed his eyes shut, nothing blocked out the word.
Monster.