Chapter Text
Rei wakes to an incessant finger poking his cheek. He opens his eyes, groaning at the crick in his neck. He must've fallen asleep while gaming.
Standing at the edge of the couch, Miri tilts her head, a frown replacing her usual smile.
"Where's Kazuki-papa?"
Of all the questions she could ask first thing in the morning, Rei isn't expecting that. "Upstairs?"
"Nuh uh," she replies. "I checked in his bed, and under! Are we playing hide and seek?"
Rei springs to his feet, shedding his grogginess like a blanket. Doing a quick sweep of the loft confirms that Kazuki is missing, but it isn't an immediate red flag. What he knows and Miri doesn't is that her papa had left for a mission last night, shortly after tucking her into bed.
Not so long ago, it wouldn't be strange for Kazuki to return the morning after these particular jobs. Having Miri complicated that somewhat, since Kazuki is the one to wake her up, cook her breakfast and dress her for daycare. Nowadays he would rarely be out later than midnight, ensuring he could get a decent amount of sleep before his blaring alarm.
Except that Kazuki had gotten into the habit of staying up with Rei on these nights, despite it defeating the purpose of his self-imposed curfew. After emerging from the shower, he would drop beside him on the couch, two mugs of hot chocolate in tow, the instant mix with mini marshmallows that was now a constant in their kitchen.
Sometimes he would talk, or comment on the game Rei was playing, or sometimes they would sit in a comfortable silence until one or both nodded off. Rei doesn't mind, really. Kazuki can do what he wants. Perhaps he's come to expect the company, which is why he'd passed out on the couch last night instead of settling in the tub...
While this breaks that newly established routine, it isn't quite a cause for concern. Kazuki is a grown man, and more capable than most people give him credit for. "He had stuff to do," Rei tells Miri. "He'll be back when he's done."
"Eh?" she cries, her nose scrunching with dismay. "He left without me?"
"It was some boring errands he had to run," Rei placates.
Her lip wobbles as Rei looks on with dread. It seems as though an outburst is inevitable, when he's saved by the sound of her stomach grumbling. "Heh," she giggles. "I'm hungry!"
The comment makes it clear that he will have to feed her. "Uh..."
He pours her a bowl of cereal. She likes it, and it requires minimal preparation. He's watched this child eat her cereal with no issue a dozen times. And yet it seems that in Kazuki's absence, she devolves into feral behavior, swirling her spoon around her in an effort to make a whirlpool. He ignores his own, although the cereal will most certainly get soggy and gross.
Curiously, the food isn’t appealing, despite it being his favorite, too. His stomach is filled with this sense of forebode as his gaze wanders over to the empty chair across the table.
With Miri distracted by her breakfast, Rei pulls out his cellphone. He dials Kazuki's number, just to confirm he's on his way back.
It doesn’t ring.
"Ah! Tsunami!" Miri exclaims as her bowl tips over, the milk splashing everywhere.
She makes a mess of the table, the chair, and most troubling, herself. All of which he is loathed to clean, her sticky fingers especially. But if he lets her go to daycare like this, the teacher will surely mention it to Kazuki, who will give Rei an earful about it later.
Dressing her is comparatively simple, just a matter of helping her with the outfit she's picked out. He gets ready for the day, too, donning his work clothes over his casual attire.
In his line of work, you have to trust your instincts, or you risk a very quick, often painful demise. Right now his instincts itch beneath his skin, tingling with unease.
By the time they arrive at daycare, Rei is restless, fidgeting with the need to go. He can't exactly drop her off at the gate and make a run for it, though, so he escorts her inside, disregarding the polite greetings from staff and parents alike. Before he can leave, however, Miri tugs at his leg.
"Kazuki-papa will be home later?"
Her voice sounds oddly somber. Rei blinks down at her, noticing the tightness around her mouth. Miri isn't one to fret, she tends to leave that to her father, the one conspicuously absent from this conversation. He feels it more keenly now, when she's staring up at him with those wide, imploring eyes.
"Yes," Rei replies, opting for honesty. He has no other way of answering. "I'm going to pick him up now."
"Promise?" she presses.
He nods. "I promise."
Just like that, Miri grins, and darts forward to hug his leg. He pats her head, awkwardly, aware of the fawning sighs from those witnessing the tender moment.
It never fails to astonish Rei with how much she trusts him. Chalk it up to her age, or her naivete, but it doesn't change the fact that she's banking all her hopes on his word alone. He says he'll bring her papa home, and she believes it.
Relying on others for protection is foolish; you have to be able to protect yourself. It's a lesson Rei was taught early and one that Miri would learn sooner or later. But, as for today...
She has no reason to worry. He would be keeping his promise.
*
*
*
The door to Yadorigi chimes as he enters. "Welcome," Kyutaro greets, the smile he reserves for customers (and perhaps Miri) waning when he recognizes him. "Oh, it's you, Rei. What a surprise."
Both know it's a rarity for him to come to the cafe without Kazuki dragging him along.
Kyutaro moves to prepare his usual drink, gesturing for him to take a seat. Rei doesn't bother. "Where did you send Kazuki?"
It garners a raised eyebrow from the cafe owner, not accustomed to being addressed so brusquely. Well, there's a reason Kazuki handles all the pleasantries and business transactions.
Realizing he won't get what he needs without further prompting, Rei steels his jaw. "He left for a job last night and didn't come back."
"I see," says Kyutaro. He isn't taking it lightly, yet there's none of the urgency simmering in Rei's gut, and it grates on his limited patience. "Have you considered he may be working on it still?"
"Give me a name and I'll find out."
Kyutaro pauses, glancing sharply at the aggressive tone. Rei glowers back. It isn't a request, precisely. And the hint of a threat isn't lost on someone so familiar with his upbringing.
Rei endures the standoff for longer than he would prefer. Kyutaro isn't a man to be intimidated that easily.
But the son of a yakuza isn't a threat that can be easily dismissed, either.
Finally, Kyutaro relents, looking vaguely amused by whatever he found in examining Rei’s face. Off-putting as that is, he accepts the file that’s slid across the bar.
"The target was a secretary for a business acting as a front for illicit activity. Whether or not she's aware of her employer's involvement was inconclusive. However, our intel found she has an active social life outside of the office, and frequents this particularly nightclub. Kazuki was sent there to see what information he could glean from her."
Sounds pretty typical for a honeypot operation. Rei examines her photo and notes the nightclub's address, committing it all to memory. "What kind of business do we think they're involved in?"
Here, Kyutaro hesitates.
It sets his teeth on edge. The broker isn't a man to beat around the bush. Nor is he one to spare the gory details. The fact that he's wary means he's wary of Rei, and what he'll do—
"Human trafficking."
He smothers his wince before it contorts his face, too conscious of his audience.
Why is he reacting at all? Rei was hired to deal with all manner trash. Murderers, rapists, extortionists—the lowest of the low. He has never considered the harm they've done to others, nor did he consider what he did any form of retribution. Whether a hit was deserved or not isn't something he figures he gets to decide; he has a job to do, and he does it efficiently.
Until this moment, Rei isn't sure if he has ever desired to kill someone. Now, though—now that his mind's flooded with images of his partner at the mercy of scum who would sell him to the highest bidder, just to be used and abused at their whims—he can hear the blood pounding in his ears, drowning out all other noise.
Rei doesn't even realize he's moving until he’s nearly out the door.
"I'd advise you to proceed carefully on this job," Kyutaro warns in a tone that halts Rei in his tracks. Knowing he has his attention, the broker continues, "You know what this reckless behavior will cost."
His fingers have clenched into a fist; he releases it slowly, one by the one, the indents of his nails stinging his palm. If Kazuki was here, he would be sweating, talking out his ass in a bid to assure their employer that no, of course not, they would never act so carelessly. He would absolutely balk at Rei treating their meal-ticket with such flippancy and apologize profusely on his behalf.
Only Kazuki isn't here, is he?
Frigid, Rei states, "This isn't for a job."
He leaves in the silence that follows.
*
*
*
Two broken kneecaps.
A crushed larynx.
Several bullets.
That was the price of his whereabouts.
Kazuki has often complained that he had no patience for the preparation that went into a job. He's confident enough in his skills to walk into any situation blind and shoot his way out if necessary. Kazuki isn't a fan of his method, unless as a last resort. Well, as far as Rei's concerned, this situation where he can skip straight to last resort.
Interrogating the nightclub staff proved very informative. They were reluctant to divulge any details about his partner's disappearance, too afraid to betray his abductors. Turns out the woman he was sent to charm was far more than just a secretary, and a much higher threat than sources had indicated. Rei can't even blame this blunder on his bad luck with woman; Kazuki had set bait for a small fish, unaware that he was wading into the jaws of a shark.
After a bit of persuasion, the staff was more than willing to share what they knew. One had overheard the target ordering her driver to escort the "little spy" to one of their distribution centers. Just a fancy, covert name for a building full of people waiting to be shipped to a more miserable prison.
Guards were posted inside and out, although they proved to be no more dangerous than an armed mall-cop, there to move along the merchandise and not much else. Case in point, the man who yelps as he spots Rei turning the corner, too late to raise his weapon.
No match for his speed, the man's neck snaps back like a rubber-band, a bullet lodged in his forehead. Rei steps over the body without breaking his stride.
Such violence isn't strange to him, nor is it abhorrent. Deep down, though, Rei knows this mission is different. The brutality can't be excused as merely a facet of his vocation.
This isn't for a job. His own words appear in stark, bold print over red haze that's consumed his vision. A reminder this isn't to earn a paycheck, or on anyone else's orders. This is...
Personal.
He can't pretend otherwise. And he's not interested in dissecting his actions beyond that. He wants Kazuki at home, where he belongs; talking over Rei's games, spending too much time preparing his food, chasing their daughter around the apartment, both conspiring to make as much noise as possible. The people at the nozzle of his gun took him from that, from his life, from Rei. For that, they're earned their deaths. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
And he promised Miri, too. Her papa will be home tonight.
Everything else is collateral.
For all the carnage, Rei hasn't found any signs of him yet. There were plenty of people, other guards and captives, the latter of whom fled at the sight of him, just as scared of this man with a gun as they were the others. Worst of all were the empty rooms he found, the ones with nothing except for beds and, more disturbingly, cameras...
Coming across another room, he raises his arms, gun poised, and opens the door a crack.
The bed isn't empty.
Rei kicks it open the rest of the way, the hinges screeching in protest. Kazuki is lying on the bare mattress, almost translucent under the dim, flickering lights. His wrist dangles from a shackle, clasped to the bedpost, and he's stripped down to his boxers. It's the pair with the stupid goldfish print that Rei made fun of when he got roped into folding laundry.
Why is he remembering that, something so dumb and inconsequential, when Kazuki has not so much as stirred. All the blood spilled for this, all the rooms he's searched in vain, and he's just—motionless, still as a corpse. From this distance, Rei can't even see the rise and fall of his chest. The cold, unfamiliar sensation of panic seizes his chest like a vice.
He finds himself at the bed in three strides, the mattress dipping under his weight. To his relief, Kazuki rouses at the movement, jolting as he struggles to wake up. Rei presses his fingers against the exposed line of his throat, checking his pulse, just as brown eyes flutter open.
"Rei?" Kazuki rasps, blinking away the daze, and Rei exhales the breath he was holding for the past four hours. Kazuki struggles to sit up, reaching out for him, only to be snagged by the chain around his wrist.
"Ow," he moans softly, straining as far as the binds will allow. He sulks at Rei with eyes that are big, wet and bloodshot. "M'stuck."
The plaintive note to his voice spurs Rei to action. "Hold still," he orders, taking out his lock-picking tools. As soon as he's free, Kazuki lunges forward, only to slump down with a hiss.
"Are you hurt?" Rei demands, scanning for injuries. It is difficult to categorize every mark on his skin, whether from the capture, the captivity, or...
His gaze flicks toward the camera, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Ideas pop into his mind, unbidden, of what such a thing would be used for. Bastards. He grits his teeth against the impulse for violence. If any had so much as touched his partner, he—
Rei has never killed for the sheer satisfaction of it before. But he can't deny the pleasure of firing a bullet at the camera and watching it explode into pieces, wishing it was the heads of every person who kept his partner locked in this awful room.
"Dizzy..." Kazuki mumbles. "Where am I?"
Cradling his face, Rei tilts it upward, noting the flinch as the light touches his eyes. His pupils are dilated, his skin clammy and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. No doubt he was drugged, and, judging by his slurring words, he's in no state to walk on his own.
Looping an arm around his waist, Rei lifts Kazuki off the bed, tugging his arm over his shoulder. "Doesn't matter. I'm taking you home."
Kazuki makes a noise of agreement.
His legs won't steady on the first try, quivering even as Rei carries most of his weight. Compensating for his weakness will place him at a disadvantage should they encounter any more threats, but it's a risk he'll have to take.
Lose the dead-weight. He hears his father's command as if issued directly from his mouth. Rei snarls, quieting the voice, and he manages to maneuver them halfway down the hall when Kazuki clumsily lurches to a halt. "Wait!"
Shoving the man behind him, ignoring his cry, Rei raises his gun again, searching for whatever caused his distress. When there’s nothing, he stares blankly at Kazuki, who is swaying on his feet. "Not safe," he ekes out, belatedly realizing the danger they're in. "You can't—"
"Don't worry," says Rei, lowly. "I took care of it already."
He gestures to the corpse of a guard they're stumbling over. Kazuki glances down at it so long he narrowly avoids tripping over another. "Too flashy," he groans. "Kyu-chan will be maaad."
"Even like this you nag," Rei grumbles. Kazuki continues to pout, so he squeezes his hip. "I told you not to worry, didn't I?"
Asking Kazuki not to worry is like asking Miri not to bolt when they take their eyes off her for more than five minutes. Yet for once, Kazuki relaxes near-instantly, no longer squirming in his grip. Maybe he's too tired, or it's the drug, though if anything, that should be exacerbating his nerves. No, he's soothed as if he... Trusts Rei, and feels safe in his presence.
Like father, like daughter.
Trust is no substitute for stamina, moreover, and he's panting after the three block walk to where Rei stashed the motorcycle. He kind of regrets that he brought it over the car. It had seemed the fastest and most inconspicuous option at the time, but at this rate, it will be a wonder if they make it home without Kazuki slipping off.
"You need to hang onto me, okay? Hey." He taps Kazuki's cheek. When he gets no response, Rei grasps his chin, forcing his gaze. "Don't let go. Understand?"
He speaks slowly, deliberately, like he's learned to do when giving Miri directions. When Kazuki nods, Rei relinquishes his face, softening as the other lets out a whimper. Suddenly, he's sick with the thought that he's hurt him somehow, and draws away as if burned.
Except it’s the distance that incites another pathetic little noise from Kazuki’s throat. "Cold," he murmurs, trembling where he stands.
Rei sighs. Escaping is the priority and they can't afford to waste any time. Nevertheless, he pauses to take off his jacket, wrapping it around his shoulders. "There. Will you listen now?"
Kazuki hums an affirmative. "Smells like you," he says, sounding... Pleased?
Glad that he's too out of it to see his blush, Rei scoffs. "Weirdo," he mutters, without any bite.
It must be the delirium, he reasons. The jacket smells like sweat, blood, and gunpowder residue. Nothing that would make a normal person swoon.
During the drive, Kazuki holds tight as promised, burying his nose in Rei's white shirt to shield it from the wind. His pulse races, and he suspects it has nothing to do with the adrenaline. He's cold, his mind supplies. And drugged. The effects of which have clearly not worn off. Rei consoles himself with the puffs of air against his neck, proof that the other is alive and breathing.
They drop off the motorcycle in the garage, Kazuki with blue-tinted lips and drooping eyelids. Rei tugs the jacket more firmly around his body; often Kazuki will scold both he and Miri to button up their coats against the chill. He wracks his brain to recall what else, but he is woefully unprepared to deal with the aftermath of the rescue. This is a feverish Miri all over again, suffering because of his incompetence.
Fuck it, he murmurs, dragging Kazuki toward the elevator; the sooner they're inside, the sooner Kazuki will stop using him as a personal heater.
Drained, Rei leans against the wall of the elevator, settling the other man more comfortably against him. He nuzzles in close, like a cat seeking out warmth. Amused by the comparison, Rei strokes his hair, smoothing down the locks swept up by the wind.
"Can you hold the—" A woman he vaguely recognizes as his neighbor catches the door as it’s closing. Her smile along with her jaw drop at the sight of the half-naked Kazuki clinging to a very agitated Rei.
Rei glares at her as Kazuki picks up his head, peering at the onlooker through half-lidded eyes.
"Uh," she squeaks. "I-I'll take the next one!"
Hastily, she removes her hand, allowing the doors to shut. Kazuki snorts against his nape. "You're such a meanie."
Meanie? Rei smirks at the accusation. He spends too much time with a four-year-old. "You're the one flashing all my neighbors. I'm going to be evicted at this rate."
Kazuki shrugs. "Free show," he yawns, curling into Rei's shoulder. "Wha's not to like?"
The smirk disappears. Kazuki mumbles out a complaint as Rei’s iron-grip on his waist tightens. "No shows," he rejects, annoyed for reasons he can't quite parse.
Inside the apartment, he triple checks the locks are secure, and then, once he’s certain they’re safe, heaves a tremendous sigh. "What a day."
Kazuki remains silent where he's propped against the wall, stiff as a board, nothing like the pliant man giggling in the elevator.
"What?" asks Rei. "What's wrong?"
Clamping a hand over his mouth, Kazuki gasps out, "Toilet."
Only his quick reflexes prevent Kazuki from spilling his guts all over the floor. Doing it in the toilet saves Rei the trouble of cleaning it up, but the retching alone has his nose wrinkling, the disgust plain on his face. Kazuki barely notices, shaking at the force of his dry heaves. Surely he won't choke on his own vomit if Rei finds an excuse to leave for just a few minutes...
"Don't move if you're going to puke again," he warns. The wavering groan he receives isn't the most reassuring.
Hunched over the toilet, and illuminated by the bright glow of the lights, every bruise is on display. Rei crouches down, inspecting Kazuki's skin intently; he was so focused on escaping that he forgot to tend to his wounds. Though he obviously took a beating, there isn't anything life-threatening, or in need of the first-aid kit. Until he reaches his shoulder, and his eyes widen, tracing the row of deep, purplish indents on his shoulder.
It is unmistakably, unforgivably a bite mark. Dried blood flakes at the red, inflamed edges.
"Water," Kazuki wheezes, coughing up more bile. It's a request tinged with a plea, dousing the hot, molten swell of rage in his belly.
Fuming, Rei stalks out of the bathroom. He tamps down on the impulse for violence, knowing he really will get evicted if he starts to shoot up shit in his apartment. He's here, he repeats it to himself until his breathing is less ragged. He’s here, and they’re not. Nothing else matters.
Regaining his composure, Rei grabs a water bottle from the fridge and hastens back to the bathroom. He discovers Kazuki standing at the sink, the room smelling faintly of mouthwash. Definitely an improvement.
"Feeling better?"
"Mmmngh," Kazuki responds.
"You look slightly less dead," agrees Rei, placing a hand on the small of his back. "Let's put you to bed."
"So forward," Kazuki jokes. At least he's acting like himself, if in a thinner, scratchier version of his voice. His throat must be dry as hell, because as soon as he's deposited on the bed, he motions for the water. Dubious of the slight tremor in his arms, Rei presses the bottle against his lips, watching his throat bob with every long, grateful sip.
He isn't as amendable to Rei helping with dressing him, so he gets a front row seat to the excruciating task of putting on his pajamas. It is a bit, despicably funny to watch his partner inelegantly fumble his feet in the holes of his pants, something their toddler has all but mastered. Sliding his sweats up over his hips, Kazuki exclaims in triumph, only to go limp with exhaustion.
"Ahh, I'm beat," he exhales, massaging the soreness out of his wrist. Rei could call it quits, lack of shirt or no, yet he finds that, strangely, he can't leave well enough alone.
"You're worse than the kid like this," he gripes, yanking the shirt over Kazuki's head. He expects a disgruntled reply, or maybe a flush, the one that spreads over his whole face and always gives Rei a hearty dose of mirth. He expects a sluggish, non-response more than he expects the wild, panic-stricken expression.
"Miri," Kazuki croaks, as if just remembering, his eyes frantically searching the room. "Where- Where is she? Miri? Miri!"
He staggers forward, tumbling straight into Rei, who is quick to catch him by the lapels. He grunts when Kazuki rushes into him, a persistent force of worry meeting an unmovable object. "Calm down. Idiot. I took her to daycare this morning. She's fine."
Gently, more gently than he thought he was capable of, Rei pushes Kazuki down on the bed, not retracting his hands ‘til his anxiety has quelled and he's no longer at risk of running. Kazuki curls onto his side, eyes clenched tight. Rei can't tell if he's in pain, moping, or trying to puzzle through his disjointed thoughts. And isn't really that invested in which it is, so long as he stays put.
Then he sees the tears gathered in his eyes and whatever control he felt over the situation disintegrates.
Alarmed, Rei gawks, his discomfort palpable as it floods the room, and strangles any words he could say. Not that he has any. He's clueless when it comes to Miri's tears, which Kazuki can soothe with something as simple as a hug or a wide, silly smile. What is he supposed to do?
"Hey," Rei chides. More tears spill over his lashes, rolling down his cheek. His discomfort melts into a mix of anguish and annoyance. "C’mon. I told you, she's fine."
"I know," Kazuki whispers. His relief is muffled by his face half-pressed against the comforter. "That's why..."
He trails off into silence, fussing with his wrist. Rei notes that he did that before, too. "Let me see," he says, ready to push for it if necessary. Kazuki rolls over without question, allowing Rei to grasp his wrist with only a brief wince.
The skin is black, blue and extremely irritated. As if it was chafed against the metal grip of the shackle. To rub it this raw, he must've struggled. Hard enough to not care about the metal tearing into his skin, over and over and over again.
"Handcuffs," Kazuki explains. Like that's what has created the deep furrow in his brow, the minute shaking of his fists. Not the fact that Rei wants to find the hands that fastened the cuff around his wrist and break each finger under his boot.
What could they have done, Rei wonders against his will, to make someone struggle like that?
The temptation to ask is unbearable. In this docile state, Kazuki could be cajoled into telling the truth, and yet...
He can't bring himself to do it.
Abruptly, Kazuki baps his nose with the back of his hand, catching Rei totally off-guard. Kazuki grins up at him, goofy and lopsided, the tension evaporating in an instant.
"Kiss it better?"
"Huh?"
Kazuki laughs at his bewilderment.
"Kiss it better for me."
"It doesn't work like that," Rei scoffs.
"Miri thinks so."
"She's a doctor now?"
"Maybe one day." Kazuki sighs dreamily. "Imagine. Our Miri, a doctor!"
Which reminds Rei— He has to pick up the little doctor in training from daycare. Soon, too.
Loathed as he is to leave Kazuki alone, the man isn’t in any condition to travel. And there isn't anybody Rei trusts with him while he's this vulnerable, except maybe Kyutaro. He knew what to do when Miri was sick, and if nothing else, he owes them a favor for the faulty intel that endangered Kazuki.
Speaking of that. He should call the broker so he can share what he learned during his interrogations. And to offer his service should they now be needing an assassin for this target.
Rei opens his mouth to tell Kazuki as much, only to see he's dozing. Long lashes fanned over the tear-streaks on his face, the transition from hysterics to peaceful almost too seamless to believe.
Deciding not to disturb his sleep, Rei sneaks out of the room to make the call. Kyutaro's displeasure is audible over the phone.
I'll look into the matter myself, he assures. Given the circumstances, I suppose I can cover for your... Indiscretion.
It takes all his self-restraint not to snort. As if Rei cared about the mess of bodies in his wake.
He neglects to ask for his assistance in the end. Part of it may be bitterness toward the role he played in his capture, however unintentional. Frankly, it is such a short amount of time, there is no reason to bother with a babysitter. Rei will be in and out before he can realize he’s gone.
Apparently no longer asleep, Kazuki jumps at his return, eyes flying to the door. "You're up," Rei observes with some surprise. At least he'll be conscious for this explanation. "I have to go, so you-"
Before he finishes the sentence, Kazuki jerks up with frenzied, "No!"
He launches himself at Rei, who grunts under the added weight, clutching at biceps, too tight for a fraction of a second as he wrangles his instincts. This would be a poor excuse for an attack, Kazuki's chin colliding with his collarbone as his fingers claw desperately for purchase, digging into the fabric of his shirt. Weak as he is, his grip is stronger than anticipated, and he doesn't think he can rip it away without causing bodily harm.
Rei bites back a frustrated growl. "What the hell is with you?"
"Don't...go..." His voice a hush he strains to hear, Kazuki glances warily at the door. "If you go, they'll come-"
Suddenly, Rei understands. Sleep had muddled his senses, as it often did his own, and in that terrifying state between reality and nightmare, Kazuki had awoken, alone and unsure of where he was... And with Rei nowhere to be seen.
Now he's worked up, making progress toward a full-blown panic attack. At this point in their friendship, Rei is very familiar with the signs; the labored breathing, the beads of sweat at his temple.
"Hey," snaps Rei, packing as much authority into it as he can. "Look at me."
Reluctantly, Kazuki complies.
"Nobody will get in here," he vows. "I'd kill anyone who tried."
Perhaps not the most consoling thing he could say. Any normal person would be frightened by such a proclamation, but, well—they're not exactly normal. Instead of being repulsed, Kazuki wilts, and Rei uses the opening to pry his fists out of his shirt.
He clutches his biceps. In spite of his drowsiness, Kazuki won't rest without the reassurance he's safe. Honestly, it's a smart instinct However, it will be a pain if he awakens after Rei has left and has a similar freak-out. No other choice, he guesses.
"I'll stay 'til you fall asleep."
Kazuki frowns up at him. "Promise?"
The look in his eyes is identical to Miri's from this morning. Rei wants to claw his heart out of his chest to stop its ceaseless throbbing.
"I promise."
No sooner is the declaration out of his mouth than he's dragged down onto the bed, flat on his back, as Kazuki throws an arm over his chest, cuddling into his side. He burrows into the hollow of his neck, his breaths evening out with a hum of content.
Rei huffs, aiming his smile at the ceiling. Kazuki is touchier than anybody he knows, but this is downright clingy, and it'll be too fun to tease him over it later. He figures he's owed a bit of blackmail, after being used as a glorified security blanket. Despite the foreign feeling of the embrace, he can't claim that he hates it. Maybe, if he was prodded, he might admit that he...
His eyes linger on the arm stretched over his chest, the purple ring of bruises around his wrist. Rei waits to be certain that Kazuki is out before he gingerly picks up his arm, brushing his lips over the welt. Get better, he thinks, recognizing how useless the sentiment is. The bruises will remain until they fade, and even after, Rei will remember they were there. Won't forget the sight of Kazuki, clasped to that filthy bed, not moving or speaking.
But, they're home. Kazuki is slowly warming under his touch, draped over his body like a shield, keeping those vicious musings at bay. The house is clean, at least until Miri will joins them, probably eager to curl up with her Kazuki-papa after such a scare. And while they cuddle Rei will have to figure out what to do for dinner.
Everything else... Can wait 'til tomorrow.
Chapter 2
Notes:
I'm blown away by everyone's response to this story, thank you so much!!
And well, you all asked for it- This is 6k of pure, self-indulgent, hurt/comfort fic. Enjoy :)
Chapter Text
Kazuki wakes with a gasp, his heart making a very real effort to leap out of his chest. He lays there for too long, paralyzed, panting in short, shallow breaths. Trapped in a loop of his own fear, until the shape of the ceiling above becomes familiar, and he realizes that he's home.
As the clarity slowly trickles in, so do the aches his body had suppressed in sleep. Pain radiates from his shoulder, his wrist, and his neck. His temples throb in tandem to the now steady beat of his please. Given all of that, Kazuki would be inclined to bury his face in his pillow for the next twelve hours, were he not incredibly thirsty.
Begrudgingly, Kazuki sits up on his elbows, squinting into the dark of his room. When he sees the bottle conveniently placed by his bedside, he nearly weeps with joy.
The water tastes like heaven. He mourns the loss of every drop that dribbles down his chin. It takes all his self-control not to gulp it all down in one go. But his stomach clenches at the intrusion, threatening to revolt at too much, too soon.
After drinking his fill, Kazuki flops back down on the bed like a puppet with its strings cut. The last time he felt this awful, they had pulled several all-nighters while trying to get back in Kyu's good graces. And yet he can't quite remember what he did to deserve this misery. Hangover? No, this feels... More potent than that. Drugs, then?
Which would imply that he didn't end up in this state willingly. Well, you don't get involved in this unsavory business without being dosed and dragged off a couple of times; or at least, that's what he figured based on his experience. Kazuki had always managed to connive, convince or claw his way to freedom, however, in this case...
He can't recall what he did to escape.
Closing his eyes, Kazuki breathes in deep, retracing his steps in his mind: Last night he had a job. Kyu had requested he investigate the secretary of some sketchy housing authority. Easy enough. Harder was parting with Miri, who had snuggled up to his chest as he read her a bedtime story, dozing off in his arms like an adorable little angel.
Kazuki remembers he tucked her in, planted a kiss on her forehead, and then left for the club his target liked to frequent...
These types of missions require a patience, the sort that Rei tends to lack. You have to put in the time, make it authentic.
Kazuki noted the precise moment the target arrived. However, he didn't approach her right away, continuing to chat with the bartender, all while observing her out of the corner of his eye. She had an elegance to her, though she was dressed a lot younger than the age in her file. Vain, perhaps? Trying to recapture her youth?
He could work with that.
Eventually, she approached the bar to order, and that was when Kazuki pretended to take note of her, laying on the charm. She played it coy, clearly pleased by his attention, so he went bolder, offering to buy her a drink. If the flirting doesn't loosen her tongue, the cocktail she orders should do the trick.
They settle in more secluded corner of the club so they could talk. He listened attentively as she complained about her day and her highly demanding boss.
Jackpot, he thought.
"I know the type," Kazuki sighed, smothering a laugh as a picture of Kyu popped into his head, unbidden. "Tell me more."
She smirked, trailing a delicate hand through his hair.
"You are cute," she chuckled. "But..."
Leaning into his space, her lips brushed against the shell of his ear. "You're not as bright as you think."
He froze, the words at odds with her light tone.
"Oh, that's okay," she coos, pinching his cheeks between her well-manicured nails. They bite into his skin, a promise of pain. What he mistook for coyness earlier now reads as thinly veiled amusement. "We can work with that."
The last thing he registers is a sharp prick to his neck.
His door creaks, open slightly ajar. Kazuki bolts upward, his legs tangled in the sheets. For a single, terrifying second he's trapped again in that nightmare, unable to get away. Then he watches as Miri tiptoes through the crack, her face twisted in concentration, trying so hard to be quiet. It startles a laugh out of him.
Miri gasps, abandoning her attempt at stealth. "Kazuki-papa! You're awake!"
Her presence eases his mind. It feels as though he had a nightmare, one where she was gone, and the fear of that lingering over him could only be abated by the sight of her, safe and sound. He spreads his arms for the hug he knows she wants—he wants it just as much—and smiles when she leaps into his arms. He nestles his chin against her hair.
"You slept sooo long," Miri whines.
"Sorry," he chuckles, wincing at how scratchy his voice sounds. "I'll make it up to you with a big breakfast, okay?"
"It's dinner."
His jaw drops. "Dinner?!"
Kazuki straightens, his vision swaying at the abrupt movement. Damn, how long had he slept? Did Miri get to daycare this morning? Who fed her? Where was—
Footsteps clatter through the hall, growing closer. Kazuki tenses, clutching Miri to his chest. He isn't used to being this on edge, only relaxing when he realizes who it is, and then feeling stupid that he'd panicked in the first place.
Rei flicks on the light, eyes widening a fraction as they meet Kazuki's stare, evidently not expecting he'd be conscious. His gaze slowly trails from his partner to the guilty-looking child on his lap.
"Miri," he says, sternly. "I told you not to wake Kazuki-papa."
Drooping, Miri mumbles out a small, "Sorry..."
Kazuki balks. Rei has never scolded Miri for anything. Even when it was warranted, like her playing near the hot stove or clambering onto the treadmill while it’s in use. Nope, it was always his job to be the buzzkill, no matter how well-meaning. He should be ecstatic that he’s finally taking the initiative, yet her dejection twists his stomach.
"She didn't wake me," he assures, squeezing her tightly. Rei does not seem to believe him.
Before he can protest, Miri squirms out of his embrace. "Kazuki-papa is warm," she complains.
"Ah? Am I?" Kazuki reaches up to feel his forehead, but a twinge shoots up his arm. There's a dim, burning sensation where the muscle is most tender. He prods at each bruise he finds, feeling the ghost of the fingers that left the marks. Even if brain is a fog, his skin is a map of memory, painting a too-vivid picture.
It doesn't feel as if he spaced out, except that when he looks up, Rei is much closer than he was a moment ago. He notices the thermometer in his hand and wonders if he just fetched it just now or had the foresight to bring it along. Kazuki would be praising him if not for the fact that Rei proceeds to stick it in the crease of his armpit.
His eyebrow twitches.
"Rei."
"Hm."
"Typically, I put it under my tongue."
He points at Miri. "We take her temperature this way."
"She's four."
Rei sighs through his nose. "Fine," he says, and starts to move it toward his mouth.
"I'm not putting it in now!" Kazuki screeches. "It's sweaty, and gross!"
"And smelly," Miri adds.
Kazuki makes an affronted noise. "I do not-"
He stops, sniffs himself, and frowns. "Well, I haven't had a shower yet..."
"You could barely walk straight," Rei says flatly. "And you were cold, so I put you to bed."
"Probably should've taken a hot bath," Kazuki sighs longingly. It would've chased away the chill and soothed his sore muscles.
Dismay clouds Rei's expression, as if he's kicking himself. Sure, Kazuki sympathizes with the impulse to self-flagellate, but he should understand he’s not accountable for his health the same way he is Miri.
"Low-grade fever, no big deal," he reassures, just to wipe that look off of Rei’s face. "It'll go away after some rest."
It has the desired effect of erasing some of the lines on his brow. Kazuki wishes he could say the same, the throbbing in his temple now louder than his thoughts. "Do we have any painkillers?"
Rei watches as he rifles through his bedside drawer, not lifting a finger to help. "You shouldn't take those on an empty stomach."
"Says who?" Kazuki mumbles.
"You."
He hangs his head with a groan. Figures Rei would remember his advice only to prolong his suffering.
"Can you make it downstairs for food? Or do you want to bring it here?" asks Rei, the offer surprisingly considerate.
Kazuki dismisses it with a scoff, though the absurd image of getting served in bed like some kind of Mother's Day breakfast fills his chest with this odd fluttering.
"M'not an invalid. I can walk," he says, scooting to the edge of the bed. Swinging his legs over the side is a task in and of itself, his confidence no match for his off-kilter balance. Ignoring the doubt creeping into Rei's expression, Kazuki smiles. "What should we order to eat?"
"I made soup."
The smile freezes on his face.
"Soup?" Kazuki stammers. He looks nervously at Rei. "Ar-Are you sure you're ready for something that advanced?"
Rei had followed through on learning to be more self-sufficient in the kitchen, but they had barely scratched the surface. Just yesterday — was it yesterday? — he had burned a grilled cheese. It was edible, and Kazuki had still eaten it, of course, no use in lowering his morale. Not exactly a sign of culinary competency, though.
Hesitantly, and at Miri's urging, Kazuki wobbles to his feet.
"I followed the recipe." Rei shrugs. "It isn't that hard. You just throw stuff into a pot of water."
Suddenly, Kazuki staggers. Rei lunges comically fast, snagging the loose fabric. "What's wrong?" he sounds alarmed, eyes raking over his body in search of illness or injury.
"What's wrong with me?" Kazuki wheezes, clutching at his chest. He glares at Rei in betrayal. "What's wrong with you? Just throwing stuff in water? Is that all soup is to you?!"
All the tension drains from Rei in an instant, replaced by annoyance. "Geez," he mutters, gripping Kazuki by the arm, careful to avoid the worst of his bruises. "C'mon. Before you get more delirious."
Kazuki allows himself to be tugged along with minimal grumbling. Just to put his partner at ease. Definitely not because he's still a bit dizzy.
He's deposited in his usual seat, and, before he can flee, a steaming bowl of soup is set in front of him. It's hot, at least. And it doesn't smell horrible.
In a bid to stall, Kazuki swishes his spoon around the bowl. "I appreciate the vegetables," he notes, pleased, since he was half-certain Rei would omit it from the recipe. The carrots seem a tad under-cooked, but that's an easy mistake to make. Chopping vegetables was actually one of the things Rei took to rather quickly.
For obvious reasons.
"I told Rei-papa we had to add the veggies," Miri declares proudly. "And I helped him cut the carrots!"
Kazuki drops his spoon with a dull splash.
"You let her use a knife?" he asks, shrilly.
"Yeah?" Rei replies, as if there's nothing wrong with this. "Only a little."
"Uh oh. Kazuki-papa is all red," Miri comments. "Is it the fever?"
Kazuki opens his mouth, prepared to lecture Rei as much as his sore throat will allow—when a cool, calloused palm sweeps across his forehead. "Let's see," Rei considers, too focused on judging the temperature of his skin, and completely blind to Kazuki's silent sputtering.
He can’t be blamed for his reaction, as Rei so rarely touches him without provocation. His forgets to breathe the longer the touch lingers.
"Rei-papa! You made it worse!" Miri accuses, watching his cheeks burst into flame.
"I'm okay!" Kazuki swats his hand away. Steam would be leaking from his ears if it could.
Miri retrieves his spoon, ladling up the broth and holding it out for him to taste. "Here! It'll make you better!"
Unable to refuse her, Kazuki takes a sip. "Mmm. It's very..." He swallows it with a grin. "Heartening."
"See? I told Rei-papa it would make you better," she says smugly. "Because Kazuki-papa makes us soup when we're sick."
Kazuki softens, his lips wobbling and eyes misty. "You're such a good girl," he bawls, picking up his spoon. "This will definitely make me better. Because you added the secret ingredient."
Miri puts a finger to her chin, trying to recall what she learned while cooking with her papa. "Salt?"
"Love," he drawls out dramatically.
"Love?" Rei repeats.
Kazuki winks. "Isn't that right, Rei-papa?"
Blank-faced, Rei shoves the bowl under his nose. "Eat," he orders, the tone crisp, sending a shiver down his spine. "Before it gets cold."
The broth is bland, though maybe that’s for the best. He eats until his stomach cramps, unable to ingest anymore.
Rei regards his queasy expression with dread. "Please don't puke."
"I'm fine," Kazuki grits out. He fights another wave of nausea. "Just haven't eaten in a while, so my stomach isn't too happy."
He forces a smile for Miri's sake, aware that she's observing his every move. Rei catches on to this, too.
"Miri," he says. "Didn't you promise to clean up the living room?"
She swivels around in her chair and looks at the mess of coloring books, crayons and stuffed animals. Her cheeks puff out in irritation. "I thought you said you would clean for Kazuki-papa."
Kazuki perks at that, eyes darting from his partner to daughter in bewilderment.
"I cooked," Rei reminds. "We played rock, paper scissors for the cleaning. You lost."
With a exaggerated sigh, she scoots out of her chair. Only once she's left the table does Kazuki allow himself to grimace.
"You don't have to pretend," Rei says offhandedly.
"Miri worries," Kazuki replies in an undertone, ever wary of her tiny ears. "Kids notice more than you think."
"So lying is better?"
He flinches at that. "It isn't lying. I do feel..."
Better, he wants to say. The spike of pain that accompanies a migraine robs him of the ability to speak.
Kazuki scowls, refusing to look at Rei's smug face. Lying to Miri is easy. Lying to someone who knows you so well is not.
"I was a good boy and ate my dinner first. Can I have the painkillers, please?" he whines.
Obligingly, Rei drops two pills into his palm, and he washes it down with the remainder of his water. Without a word, Rei plucks the empty glass from his hands and collects his bowl.
Months ago, this show of initiative would've been a shock. Lately, though, they had fallen into a routine where Kazuki cooked, and Rei did the dishes. It began as a one-time request, after an exhaustive recon mission that had left him dead on his feet. Rei complained yet he ultimately complied, so Kazuki resolved to rely on him more as needed. Now, he realizes, he did it most nights without even being asked.
Tonight it was Rei who did the cooking, however, and spent the afternoon on solo Miri duty to boot. "I can—"
"Didn't you want to take a bath?" Rei interrupts.
The objection dies on his tongue, his desire too strong to deny.
"Miri is right. You stink," he deadpans. "Besides. I don't think you could shower without slipping and breaking your neck."
Blunt as always .
"That's so sweet," Kazuki croons. "Thank you, Rei-papa."
Rei grumbles something he can't decipher over the sound of water rushing from the sink.
Kazuki pads into the bathroom and sits on the edge of the tub. Runs the water as hot as it will go, and, what the hell, adds a bit of bubble bath for good measure. He removes his shirt, shivering as the cold air hits his chest.
Baring his skin reveals a stark white bandage taped to his shoulder. Kazuki blinks at it. He can't imagine his captors dressed the wound, whatever it is, so that leaves Rei as the likely culprit. He's tended to his wounds a dozen times over, and vice versa; it shouldn't make his heart flutter, the earlier touching still fresh in his mind.
He peels off the bandage, sucking in a breath at the dark, ugly set of teeth marks. Well, that answers the what. Part of Kazuki wishes he had kept it covered.
Shivering again, he shuts off the faucet before the tub overflows, and sheds the rest of his clothes. Kazuki moans as he sinks into the hot water. When had he last had a bath? No, when had he last had a moment to relax?
The heat seeps into his pores, his whole body sagging in relief. He slips into a state of near-slumber, not thinking of anything in particular, until his mind wanders back to the bite, his fingers subconsciously grazing the mark...
He was half-asleep, his limbs loose and heavy, dragged around with scarcely any control over his own body. Even his lips wouldn't cooperate, not even for the curses he wants to lob at his captors. They weren't gentle, whoever they were, and pretty generous with the groping. Kazuki grit his teeth, hauled against a broad chest when he tried to wriggle loose from his binds. His elbow was pulled behind his back, a bark of laughter echoing his grunt of discomfort.
"Careful with the merch. You break it, you buy it."
Lips ghost over his shoulder, sending tremors down his spine. His pulse quickens, the dread not quelled by his inability to shout.
"Well, we've got to put on a show, don't we?" Teeth grazed his shoulder, some twisted parody of a lover's caress, and Kazuki, maybe not as trained or as smart as most assassins, was not about to go down without a fight.
He let his chin go limp, falling down to his chest, and then swung it back with all his might. Cartilage crunched under his skull was more satisfying than the cry of pain. Teeth sank deeper into his flesh, vengeance for the blood gushing from the man's nose. It was almost worth the beating it earned.
"Forget it," the man growls, yanking Kazuki up by the hair. "Guess we'll have to wait 'til he's feeling a bit more friendly..."
"I'm done cleaning!" Mir announces. Right next to his ear.
Kazuki lets out a shriek, causing her to giggle. "Why're you in here?"
"'Cause you're here," she answers. It was like living with a nosy cat around the house, he swears. Speaking of...
"Where's Rei?"
"Busy with the dishes. He told me to go play." Miri leans in close. "And he didn't break any bowls this time, just so you know."
She reports it so earnestly; he can't hide his snort. Once he can utilize her snitching, Rei won't get away with anything under this roof.
"That is good," Kazuki hums. "Don't you want to play some Morio Kart while it's free?"
"Nope!" Her response is sincere, melting any compunction he had over barging in on his bath. "I brought you toys!"
"Eh? I don't know if I— Okay!" Too late, she has already dumped the toys in with him. Her lip curls at the sudden conundrum: not being able to play with the toys while they're in the water without her. "Can I take a bath, too?"
Kazuki raises a brow. So much for his relaxation.
Not that he particularly wants to be alone with these thoughts. "Did you shower already?"
Miri shakes her head. "Alright! A bath it is," he relents. "You need one, since you stink."
"You're the stinky one!" she says indignantly.
"Not as stinky as you," Kazuki snickers.
He listens to her babble on with her toys, her mermaid dolls slowly laying waste to the toy ship and its sailors. He prefers her chatter to the stifling absence of sound, and occupies himself with rubbing shampoo into her hair, the repetitive motions a soothing, mindless distraction.
"Eyes closed," he reminds, tilting her head back so he can rinse her hair.
Despite his warning, she shrieks at the deluge of water. "Ack! Ambush?!"
She splashes at her would-be attacker. "Hey!" Kazuki barks, wiping the suds off his nose. A direct hit; she is Rei's daughter after all. "Okay, I think you're clean."
"Nooo!" she cries, paddling her feet as if it swim away, which only succeeds in splashing him more.
"Rei!" Kazuki calls loudly. "Could use your help in here!"
He's never responded to a summons this swiftly. Like he was expecting an emergency, not Kazuki attempting to chase a slippery, giggling Miri out of the tub.
Endeared by his dumbfounded expression, Kazuki chuckles. "Can you get her a towel, please?"
Brandishing a towel, Rei snatches her from the water, ignoring her pleas and groans. He pats her hair dry, not letting the wriggling child escape 'til she's no longer sopping wet. The moment she's freed from his grasp, she shoots off like a bullet, naked as the day she was born. "Hey! Get your pajamas on," Kazuki yells after her. "Before you catch a chill!"
"What a mess," Rei huffs out what could be a laugh, or a sigh. Kazuki smiles sheepishly at the puddles on the floor. The water is tepid by now, yet he can't find it in him to be displeased.
"Leave a towel out for me, would ya? I'll be out in a minute."
"You didn't wash your hair."
The comment isn't expected and it shows in his slow response. "Um," he says, awkwardly. "My arm kind of hurts."
Embarrassing to confess aloud, that a bit of soreness has put Kazuki in such a bind. But he would rather share than have to be the subject of that intent gaze a moment longer. Now that Rei knows the reason, that should be of the end of—
"I'll do it."
If the former statement caught him off-guard, this one short-circuits his brain. It was Rei's voice. His gruff tone. Yet the proposal does not compute.
"You'll do...?" Kazuki stares blankly. "Huh?"
Rei rolls his eyes. "What's the point in washing if you're not gonna do it fully?"
Chastised, Kazuki sinks as deep into the water as he physically can. It's as much permission that he can give, and he isn't convinced that Rei will follow through on his offer. Until he gets a cup of water dumped over his head.
Kazuki sputters. "A little warning, please."
"You bathed me like a mangy dog when we met."
"To be fair, you smelled like a mangy dog." He smirks at the memory. It is undeniable who's truly king of stink in this household.
His smirk disappears as his partner's deft hands begin to lather his hair with shampo, the scent drowning his senses in lilac. Fingers thread into his hair, the pressure too hard, too firm. Almost to the point of hurting. Kazuki bites his lip, tamping down on a whimper. Embarrassingly, it isn't a noise of pain.
He had never considered how this would feel when he did it for Rei all those years ago. He needed to be taken care of, and Kazuki needed to take care of something; it was that simple. An arrangement borne out of necessity, an act of kindness with no terms for reciprocation.
From this end of it, the hair-washing feels so unbearably intimate. Is this what Rei felt? Or had he borne it all with stoic indifference? Logically, Kazuki is aware that Rei has feelings, same as anyone, yet he's so adept at keeping it all under-wraps—a power he woefully lacks—that he's not always entirely confident in his ability to read his partner.
Rei digs his thumbs into his temples, right at the epicenter of pain, and this time Kazuki whimpers out loud. What's worse is that Rei hears his discomfort and responds to it, gentling his touch, as if in apology. "Does your head still hurt?"
"No," Kazuki croaks. Not his best lie, though frankly, he's just grateful it didn't come out as a moan. "It feels a lot- A lot better."
That sounds closer to the truth.
"Good," Rei whispers, so soft and tinged with affection that Kazuki swears he's still delirious.
It feels like an eternity before he's finished scrubbing and rinsing his hair. Only when he removes his hands does Kazuki finally exhale. "Thanks," he utters breathlessly, praying that the steam will excuse his blush.
Rei doesn't reply, which wouldn't be that weird, except that he lingers, his presence a looming shadow over his back. He glances out of the corner of his eye and watches Rei stare down at the juncture of his shoulder, his lips drawn into a tight frown.
Shit. The bite.
Self-consciously, Kazuki covers the mark, slightly ashamed to have it observed so openly. The motion snaps Rei out of his daze. He parts his lips, and Kazuki can tell he wants to ask for something, so he waits.
The question hangs heavily in the air.
Whatever it is, Rei can’t summon the nerve. Instead he drops Miri's damp towel to the floor and uses it to sop up the puddle on the floor. "Don't slip," he warns, and walks briskly out of the bathroom.
Left behind after that puzzling retreat, Kazuki gapes at the empty door-frame, yearning for something he can't quite name.
*
*
*
Finally clean and dressed in fresh clothes, Kazuki feels almost human again. He's relieved to see that Miri is also in her pajamas, whether of her own accord or through Rei's intervention. He makes it a few steps into the room before she's latched onto his leg, beaming up at him with her pearly whites.
"I brushed my teeth!"
"That's my girl," he praises, ruffling her hair. It saves Kazuki the trouble of taking her through the nightly routine, though that doesn't leave him with much else to do at this hour. His exhaustion is a dull, full-body ache at this point, yet he's too restless to lay down.
He walks over to the TV and blocks Rei's view, earning a grunt of disapproval. "We should watch a movie. Together," he adds, pointedly.
"Yeah!" Miri cheers.
Rei seems more reluctant, but he doesn't argue. "You sure you don't want to sleep?"
"I'm sure," Kazuki replies too quickly. "What should we watch?"
"A ghost movie!" she chants. "Ghost, ghost, I wanna see a ghost!"
Flipping through the options, Rei searches for something to appease her. "What about this?"
Glancing at the screen, Kazuki squawks at the gore fest he's selected. "No way!"
"Why?" A hint of a smirk crosses his lips. "You scared?"
Kazuki doesn't dignify that with a reply, though his cheeks do flush at the insinuation. "That is not a kid-friendly movie," he hisses. "Do you want her climbing into our bed every night 'til she's twelve?"
"Does that already," Rei mutters, relenting under Kazuki's glare. They pick an age appropriate film that, at Miri's insistence, does include a ghost—despite his certainty that she'll be passed out by the second act.
Perhaps they should've picked a more engaging film, his eyelids drooping ever more dangerously. At least if he was terrified and jumping at every horrifying music cue, the adrenaline would keep the drowsiness at bay.
It doesn't help that he's too close to Rei on the couch. Miri claimed the only blanket, curled on the floor like a little burrito, and so his weak, traitorous body had shifted near Rei of its own accord, basking in the furnace of heat. It's calming, he has to admit, and between that and the white noise of the movie, Kazuki drifts off after promising to rest his eyes for just a minute.
He stirs to the muted tap of gunfire. It's a testament to how many evenings he's dozed off on this couch to that exact sound that he doesn't freak out, recognizing it as Rei's game set to a low volume. Except he didn't normally doze off with his cheek pillowed on Rei's shoulder.
"Miri?" he mumbles groggily.
"I moved her to bed."
Kazuki rubs at his eyes. "How long was I out?"
"Since the first ten minutes of the movie." Rei has the decency to not sound too complacent. "You were drooling on me."
Reflexively, Kazuki smacks a hand over his mouth, finding it is, indeed, wet. "Ew, dude. Why didn't you wake me?"
Rei shrugs. "You were tired."
He mutters a complaint, stretching out the kinks in his neck. Napping like that hadn't done his joints any favors, but it was warm, and conspicuously absent of nightmares.
"Is your wrist bothering you?"
Kazuki drops the appendage like his hand was in the cookie jar, the skin tingling from his agitation. He didn't even realize he was scratching until Rei mentioned it aloud. "Not really. I mean, it's itchy, I guess."
"Do you need me to kiss it better?"
The question throws Kazuki through a fucking loop. He whips toward Rei, gaping and cheeks a vibrant pink, and he— He's smirking, the asshole!
"Shut up!" He shoves at his arm. "Where did you get a crazy idea like that from?"
"From you."
Kazuki blanches. He points a quaking finger at himself.
"M-M-Me?"
Rei nods. "You asked me to kiss it better."
"I did?" Kazuki squeaks.
"You don't remember?"
"Oh my god."
"You were all clingy. Like those cat videos, where they dig their claws in so the owners won't let go."
"Stop talking. Please," Kazuki begs, muffled by his hands. He's mortified more by what else he might've done, drugged out of his mind, because what could be so bad that even Rei won't tease him over—
When he finally pries open his eyes, he's shaken by the sight of his partner, near enough to touch. "Rei?" he croaks, reaching desperately for him, sad when the shackle prevents it. He needs to feel his clothes, inhale his scent, prove he's not a dream.
"Doesn't matter. I'm taking you home."
Home, yes, he wants to go home, more than anything he's ever wanted anything. Rei must be here, he's taking him home.
Except. Wait. If he isn't a dream, he's in danger.
"Not safe," Kazuki forces the words out, trying to let Rei know, he has to be careful, has to save himself. "You can't—"
"Don't worry," Rei says, low and steady, a balm to his frantic thoughts. "I took care of it already."
Kazuki blinks back to the present, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "I didn't escape," he says, seemingly out of the blue. "You saved me."
"Yes," Rei confirms. As if it's nothing to him, just a regular Friday night.
"How did you track me down?"
"Kyutaro." Great, so Kyu-chan is aware of his royal screw-up. He cringes at what the punishment for this might be.
"You didn't compromise yourself, did you?"
Rei doesn't answer, which is an answer in itself. He can't be too mad, he supposes, when he's the reason Rei acted so rashly in this case, but that doesn't stop the worry from seeping into his voice.
"Seriously, Rei. You should be more careful. Not to mention that woman—she's a lot more crafty than we gave her credit for. Me, especially," he laughs with more than a little self-deprecation. "That'll teach me to underestimate a pretty lady."
No response. Kazuki darts a glance at Rei to check if he's listening, ready to chide if that's the case, but he isn't playing the game anymore. He's gazing down at the controller hanging from his loose grip, his brows pinched together, struggling to articulate whatever emotion is vying for control. From what he can tell, Rei looks almost... Disappointed?
Kazuki can't hold back a wince, even if he can't blame his partner for feeling that way. Watching each other’s backs on a mission is practical, but this was a solo job, catered to specific skill-set, and he failed spectacularly. He became a burden to Rei, the one thing he can't abide by.
Burdens were left behind. Burdens weren't useful or needed.
"I'm sorry," he says solemnly.
Rei goes rigid. Kazuki continues, undeterred.
"I got into trouble and you had to bail me out. I'll try not to put you in that position again."
"That isn't what I—" Rei breaks off, upset. Genuinely upset. His nostrils flare, his fists clenching hard enough to dent his precious game equipment.
Kazuki backpedals, wondering if he's pushed too far. It was the cardinal rule of Rei, you don't push farther than he's willing to go.
"Sorry," he starts again, when abruptly Rei stands, tossing his controller to the side.
"I'm going to bed."
"Your bed is wet," Kazuki reminds.
He watches, mystified, as Rei pauses on his way to the bathroom, clearly at a loss.
"Then you go to bed. I'll sleep on the couch."
When he doesn't move, Rei huffs in frustration. And stalks into the bathroom, anyway. Kazuki flinches as the door slams shut.
"Goodnight to you, too," he mutters into the silence, and, for lack of anything else to do, begins his painstaking journey up the stairs.
*
*
*
In the middle of the night, Kazuki rouses to the sound of his own rapid heartbeat. Knows he was in the throes of a nightmare, the details too hazy to recount. Just the feelings remain, this sense of being confined to the dark, completely alone.
Only he isn't alone. Someone else is in the room.
Panic sinks its claws into his chest. The bed dips, his heart lurches, and he flings an arm out to protect himself, surprised when it moves without being encumbered by the shackle. He weak fist meets a mound of solid muscle—tougher than a brick wall, impenetrable. A shield standing in between him and the monsters on the other side.
"Are you awake?"
His eyes adjust to the dark, tracing the dim figure of Rei sat at the edge of his bed.
"I think so," he says hoarsely. Kazuki lowers his arm, abashed to have held onto his chest this long. "Why're you here?"
"You called out for me," Rei states quietly.
Did he? Kazuki can't remember, the remnants of the dream fading already. Hardly relevant, he figures, when the result is what's weighing on his mind.
"And you came."
"Obviously."
The conviction in that single word quite literally steals his breath. It takes another three attempts for his voice to work properly.
"You didn't have to," Kazuki murmurs, not solely referring to the dream. Rei understands. He seems to always understand where it counts.
"I wouldn't leave you like that," Rei retorts, almost a snarl. Even without a light on, Kazuki can sense that piercing gaze. "I should've come sooner. Before they—"
He wavers, falling back on his old, taciturn habits. Normally, Kazuki would let it slide, but the silence is too deafening to ignore. He blames the fever for not putting it together sooner. All this time he's assumed Rei was upset because of him, rightfully so, yet with the way he's talking now, it's as if...
I wouldn't leave you. I should've come sooner.
...as if Rei isn't upset with him at all. He's mad at himself.
His head spins at the revelation that Rei was agonizing over this all night, berating himself for something that is his fault. Rei doesn't seem inclined to give Kazuki the time to process, already rising from the bed, content to check that he's safe and mostly sound of mind. No, he can't leave yet. Not without hearing what he has to say.
"Rei."
Before he flees, Kazuki reaches out. His aim is off, sluggish and ill-timed, so he ends up grasping Rei's hand in his trembling one, clutching it for dear life.
"Nothing happened."
Rei stiffens. His posture is like stone, not budging an inch. Kazuki isn't sure if he's even breathing.
"Not what you're thinking," he clarifies in a faint, gravelly voice. "None of it was pleasant, don't get me wrong, but... It didn't get that far."
The confession rips a visible shudder through Rei, the relief a palpable weight lifted off his shoulders.
"Because you saved me," Kazuki emphasizes. "So... Thank you."
Although he turns, no longer on the verge of running, Rei keeps his chin angled down. It's a wonder Kazuki can hear him above the thump of his own heart. "You don't need to thank me for that."
He does, though. Nobody ever looked out for him like Rei had, even if he's only now realizing. Nobody has ever come back for him. Kazuki was never worth the trouble. Still isn't certain he is, really, but it would probably be rude to argue with the guy who rescued you from being an unwilling notch in some sleazeball's bedpost.
It occurs to Kazuki, very belatedly, that his hand remains linked to Rei's still. Flushing, he loosens his grip, despite not wanting Rei to leave. Of course he can't ask that of him, he won't ask that of him—and yet it's Rei who holds fast, not ready to let go.
Not a word is spoken, the sentiment conveyed through the squeeze of his hand, a thumb brushing over his knuckle. Words are a struggle for Rei, something Kazuki understands, and will never force unless absolutely necessary. Though in moments like these, it would be a hell of a lot easier to get somewhere if Rei had the words and he had the courage.
Maybe this once, just maybe... If Rei wants it, too... It would be okay to ask for what he...
"Can you stay with me?" he blurts, tripping over himself in his haste.
Rei hesitates, eyes flicking from his face to the bed, so he adds, "I think- I think I sleep better with you nearby."
He winces preemptively, like this is the scary part of the movie, and he can ignore it just by closing his eyes. Mostly it's that if he read the situation wrong, Kazuki won't have to watch Rei leave.
Again, the bed dips, and this time his heart beats in anticipation. The mattress shifts under Rei's weight, settling into his usual side of the bed. Kazuki draws back the blanket, hoping he can't see his small, dopey smile.
"Safety in numbers, you know," he rambles, unable to keep his mouth shut as he tries in vain to get comfortable. "Just makes sense. Maybe Miri had the right idea, us all piling in bed together. Maybe-"
"Kazuki," Rei slices through the babble with a tired groan. "Shut up."
Then he rolls over, the firm wall of his chest suddenly pressed against his back. His warmth bleeds into Kazuki, who can't suppress his quaver as Rei whispers into his ear. "And go to sleep."
The proximity should be disconcerting, flustering, a thing for his brain to endlessly fret over. Instead his body relaxes, and his mind soon follows, too drowsy to hang on any longer.
He has no more nightmares that night.
*
*
*
A few days later finds Kazuki in much better health. He hadn't left the apartment while recovering, so the short trip to the grocery store is a refreshing little jaunt, but it does bring his attention to something odd.
"Rei."
"Huh?"
"I had an interesting encounter in the elevator just now," he mentions, faux casually. "Why is the neighbor gawking at me like I'm some sort of freak?"
Rei glances skyward, thinking. "Well," he says. "She did see me dragging you around half-naked."
"She what?!"