Chapter Text
Rey doesn’t feel so bad, really. She thought she’d feel like shit, and this whole thing would be hard, and weird. But she feels… good. Right.
It may have something to do with Ben now routinely fucking her brains out, and the ensuing naps being the best sleep she’s ever had. The thought of spending the rest of her life having sex and napping would have been appalling two days ago, but now it seems like the correct trajectory, and she can barely bring herself to care about her job.
Rey frowns. She’s stretched out in the blankets and pillows, waking from another nap, only semi-lucid. Hm. Maybe she should call her job.
She sits up slowly, wincing. Everything is sore, and she’s admittedly kind of relieved that the overwhelming need to fuck Ben is receding. So far, the Omega thing doesn’t suck as bad as she thought it might. But she could use a break. She hasn’t gone outside in a few days and she doesn’t want to turn into a pale sickly vampire.
Rey lets her head loll to the side and she sighs, smiling vaguely, drifting off again. Maybe she’ll take one more nap. That would be nice.
No—No. She huffs and steels herself, pushing her hair out of her face. Come on. Get up.
Her legs wobble, but she hauls herself to her feet and manages to pull on Ben’s enormous shirt. She nudges into her slippers and shuffles across the landing to the stairs, shivering. Maybe she should lie back down. It was so much warmer in the nest, and she’s so sleepy, and after Ben is done cleaning he’ll come back upstairs and fuck her again.
Come on. Job. Sunlight.
Rey wanders the living room in search of her laptop. It was moved at some point because she had an irrational fear that her job would hear everything through the speakers, even though the laptop was turned off and—
“Looking for something?”
Ben’s unexpected question doesn’t make Rey jump like usual. She keeps rummaging through the drawer she’s in. She can feel when he’s nearby now.
“Um…” She straightens, shrugging and looking around. “Just my laptop. So I don’t get fired.”
“We’ll find it. You want to go lay back down?”
“Kinda need to stretch, actually. Maybe go for a swim.” Rey tries to conceal a shiver as she meets Ben’s dark eyes. His hands are on his hips, and her thoughts immediately travel to his hands on her hips. She crosses her arms and clears her throat. “Move around and stuff.”
Ben doesn’t respond for a weird minute. His fingers drum on his hips, and she feels somehow that he doesn’t love the idea of her leaving the house. It’s an insane, offensive notion for her to be practically held captive in her own home, but her new self isn’t bothered. Still flying high on the post-sex delirium.
He nods eventually. “Alright.”
“We can sit on the porch if you want.”
“That’s fine.”
They walk through the kitchen to the sliding door. Ben is right behind Rey, almost attached to her. He grasps the back of her shirt as they step outside, stopping her for a moment while he looks around. It’s a lovely sunny day, chirping birds and all. Blue sky. Nice breeze. There’s a hint of coolness to it, like fall is on the way.
“I think the coast is clear,” Rey says.
“Sorry.” Ben releases.
They sit in the lawn chairs. The sun feels incredible on Rey’s skin, and she sighs and closes her eyes, smiling. It would be peaceful if Ben didn’t keep rhythmically drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair.
“What’s up?” she asks, eyes still closed.
“Nothing.” He pauses, and in her mind’s eye, she sees him doing that thing with his mouth like he’s chewing on words he’s hesitant to say. “I have to talk to you about something.”
“Ben, I promise I just want to sit out here for a few minutes.”
“It’s not that. It’s the forms I signed.”
Rey frowns and tilts her head to look at him. He glances at her and swallows as he looks away. That’s not promising.
“What about them?” Rey asks, sharper than intended.
“Well—it’s not a big deal, but I think you should know—”
“Know what?”
“It’s just the way things are for us, and I’m not going to take anything from you, or tell you what to do.”
Oh, that’s really not promising.
Rey sits up and turns to the side of her chair. “What are you talking about?”
“I, uh…” He winces, but looks her in the eye. “I signed the guardianship form.”
She stands abruptly; so abruptly that her head spins. Ben sits up as if to catch her, all traces of reticence gone, poking around inside her and sensing that she’s dizzy. It’s bizarre—it’s unnatural. He’s everywhere.
“You’re fucking joking,” Rey snaps.
“I’m not taking anything from you, I promise.” He follows her when she storms off. “It’s really just a formality.”
“You don’t fucking own me. This is my house. This is my stuff!”
“I know, I’m so sorry—”
Rey turns on him as they enter the living room. Ben blinks and comes to a quick stop.
She buries her index finger into the center of his chest. “You knew this would happen.”
“What?!” Ben does that nervous scoff and shakes his head, setting his hands on his hips. “No. No, I didn’t.”
“You must have been so relieved when you found those glands on my neck and you figured out you could use me to make your life better. You were just biding your time, waiting for the perfect moment!”
Rey’s voice is turning shrill, but she doesn’t care. Ben’s jaw wanders from side to side, and he closes his eyes when she shoves his chest with both hands.
They stand there, neither speaking. Rey grits her teeth and shoves Ben again, even though it doesn’t make him move an inch. He looks at her, and his words come out slow and careful.
“I…” He swallows, considering his words again. “I didn’t consider—”
“You didn’t consider?! You didn’t consider?!”
“I wasn’t even thinking of this, Rey. I didn’t think this far into the future about this kind of stuff.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Planning for the future never works out for me.”
Rey crosses her arms over her chest, huffing. Neither of them speaks. What does this mean for her? Is she a prisoner now? Can she not go anywhere or do anything without permission? It’s a hard concept to process. It seems ridiculous and evil and bizarre.
Ben runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “I knew it would be a way out, but I haven’t been planning anything.” He looks at her, dark eyes doleful. “I just wanted you.”
“Well, this is fucking stupid,” Rey snaps. Her voice wavers and her chin quivers. “This isn’t fucking fair.”
“I’m sorry.”
She knows a part of Ben is genuinely sorry: he doesn’t want to hurt her or make her cry. But she also knows another part of him isn’t sorry at all.
She glances up at him. He can do whatever he wants to her now. No one will stop him. She certainly can’t. He can always use his voice, which he’s already been doing on and off, but he’s also twice her size.
Rey lowers her gaze to Ben’s chest, trembling. What if they have a fight? What if she doesn’t feel like having sex one night and he does? He already used his voice on her a couple of times. Why wouldn’t he keep doing it?
“I’m going to lay down,” she mutters. “Alone.”
“Do you want anything?” Ben turns as she walks away but doesn’t follow. “I can make you something to eat? Or if you want water—”
“I’m fine.”
“You haven’t had anything to drink in a while.”
Rey stops on the second step. She narrows her eyes and half-turns toward Ben.
“You know what?” She stomps back downstairs and right past him, heading for the kitchen. “I think I want some wine, actually.”
“Uh… Rey—”
She climbs on the counter to get to her wine cabinet, which only has maybe three cheap choices at a time. Ben hovers three feet away, wincing when she drops back to the floor with the wine grasped victoriously by the neck. Rey waggles it at him.
“I am an adult—” She unscrews the cap. “And I am going to have a glass of my wine in my house.”
Ben looks like he wants to say something, but just keeps wincing while she takes an obnoxious long drink straight from the bottle. It burns more than usual, but she isn’t going to let that stop her. She slams the bottle down on the counter and smiles. Really burns. All the way down.
A minute or two passes. Rey drums her nails on the bottle. She crosses her arms, reconsidering taking another drink. She’s kinda dizzy.
“You okay?” Ben asks tentatively. She nods, stiff, lips pressed together. “You want to sit down?”
Rey frowns and shakes her head quickly. She clears her throat and tries to make a casual grab at the counter steady herself. Holy shit, is she drunk?
It can’t be possible, but her vision blurs, and her stomach turns. She breathes a few hard times through her nose, then twists around and vomits in the sink. Out goes her wine and her lunch, and it doesn’t make her feel any better. She’s still dizzy when she turns on the faucet with a trembling hand.
A bottle of water appears to her right. Rey snatches it and rinses out her mouth, then promptly drops the bottle in the sink. Shit.
“What the… fuck?” she mumbles.
“Omegas don’t process alcohol well.” Ben rinses out the sink and catches her with one arm when she slouches to the side. “Sorry. I didn’t want to tell you what to do.”
Rey can only grunt. Of course. Now she can’t even drink.
Ben carries her to the couch and covers her with a blanket. She reaches out and touches the coffee table to make her head stop spinning, and he hesitantly sets down a new bottle of water beside her hand. She manages to glower in his direction.
“I know,” he says. “I’m going.”
Rey huffs. Her eyes close as they roll back. Time to sleep off her three sips of wine.
| | |
Unfortunately, cold, stark reality is waiting for Rey when she wakes up. She’s feeling much less enthusiastic.
She sits up in the dark and drinks the entire bottle of water. It’s quiet and still, and Ben isn’t around—but he’s close by. Her gaze shifts left and right while she drinks, searching for him. He wouldn’t go far.
Rey hobbles to the bathroom for a shower and changes into sweatpants and a baggy old t-shirt printed with kittens. She’s stiff. That makes sense, considering she’s been either lying on the floor or being contorted into whatever position for sex. But nothing hurts. Except her pride.
She gets another bottle of water and goes in search of her new mate. It’s still an odd concept, even with the bite mark on her neck and the multiple times Ben was knotted inside her. Rey shivers as she peers through the back sliding door, thinking of how strange and incredible that felt. Now that’s all she’ll ever do, apparently.
He isn’t inside or out on the back porch, so Rey checks the front. She opens the door.
Ben is sitting on the top step, resting his forehead in his palm. Moths flutter around the hazy yellow lights, casting dancing shadows on his broad back. Beau raises his head from off to the left and lightly wags his tail, but doesn’t get up to greet Rey like he usually would.
“Leia’s been feeding him,” Ben says without moving. “And the chickens.”
“Oh. Good.”
Rey hesitates. She pulls the door shut behind her and walks over to sit beside him.
It’s a nice night, but she can definitely smell autumn in the air, cool and crisp, and that makes her a little sad. Summer is coming to an end. Everything will die back, snow will come, and the world will stand still for a while.
“You feeling okay?” Ben asks. He still hasn’t moved.
“Just thirsty. Drank some water.”
He nods.
Rey rubs her hands together between her knees. “Sorry for freaking out.”
“Why should you be sorry? I ruined your life.”
“…Well—”
“I should’ve done the procedure.” Ben straightens, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have come over here. I knew what would happen if I did.”
“I mean, I did invite you.” In more ways than one.
“Doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t have done it.”
“We wanted to be together, and this was the only way. Poe would’ve found out sooner or later and I wasn’t going to let them drag you off to prison. It’s just going to take some… adjusting. That’s all.”
Ben studies his hands. He looks at her, and his Adam’s apple bobs.
“I love you,” he says.
“I know.” Rey brushes his hair back from his face, and he closes his eyes briefly, leaning into her touch. “I love you, too.”
“And I’m going to work. Han said he’d help me sell my woodworking online, and the yuppies from the city are always looking for handmade stuff.” Ben turns his head to nuzzle her palm, inhaling near her wrist. His dark, hooded eyes meet hers, and Rey shivers. “I’ll take care of you.”
She smiles. His eyes close again as he kisses her wrist, then gently presses it to the gland under his jaw. He will. She’s sure of it.