Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Oww shit.”

Boimler winced sympathetically as he shouldered her weight a little more. “We’re almost there,” he reassured his girlfriend as they neared the corner. “Home stretch.”

“I’m such a fucking moron,” Mariner complained, her arm slung over his shoulder; not for the first time, Boimler thanked his lucky stars that they were the same height. “I knew this was coming, it even showed up on my stupid app! But nooo, I felt fine, what harm could a little anbo-jyutsu do! ‘Gotta get the blood flowing,’ hah, well the blood’s really flowing now!”

“Punny,” he said dryly, and then bit his tongue as she let out another low groan. “Is it like a medical thing or–?”

“Nope,” she grunted with a wince. “There’s cures for most of that stuff now, but somehow in all of human history no one’s ever found a solution to good old-fashioned uterine contractions.”

“Come on, our bunks are right up ahead. Just a couple more steps.”

He helped her past the window and around the corner where, mercifully, their beds were the first on the left. They weren’t alone; Tendi was down in her bunk working on some project, but took one look at Mariner’s expresion and stood up, alarmed. “Mariner!”

“Hey, Tendi,” she said through gritted teeth as Boimler helped her up into her bunk. “No offense, but I’m not really in the mood to talk right now.”

“Is she hurt?” Tendi demanded, turning to Boimler. “If she’s injured then I should call Dr. T’Ana–”

“No, Tendi, it’s fine,” he reassured her. “It’s just, y’know, her time of the month.” At Tendi’s bewildered expression he remembered she wasn’t human and added: “She’s on her period?”

“Jeez, Boims, just announce it over the comms why don’t you,” Mariner groaned.

“Sorry, I thought she’d know!”

“Oh right, that’s part of the human reproductive cycle, isn’t it?” Tendi remembered. “I’ve heard it’s painful; does she need anything from the medbay?”

“Painkillers,” Boimler advised.

“Um, can you narrow that down–?”

“60mg of a standard oral NSAID,” Mariner spoke up through gritted teeth. “Or as we redshirts like to call it, some motherfucking ibuprofen!”

“Got it!” Tendi scampered off; Mariner leaned back against the pillow and squeezed her eyes tight. Boimler winced again as he watched her, wondering what else he could do to help.

“Tell Tendi I’m sorry for being such a bitch,” his friend groaned.

“I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“Dammit, I was so stupid! If I’d just taken the pills before I went to the gym I wouldn’t be in this mess; now they might not even work!”

Brad frowned. “Isn’t the medicine the same either way?”

“No you need to take it as soon as possible, otherwise the pain just kind of gets into a rhythm and it’s really hard to stop it.” Boimler wasn’t sure that actually made any sense, but figured this was not the time to question his girlfriend’s experience. “Owowow FUCK.”

“Is there anything else that helps?”

She blew out a breath from between her teeth and waited a moment before relaxing, though not, he noticed, very much. “A hot water bottle sometimes works. And my mom used to make me cinnamon tea when I was a kid…”

“A hot water bottle and cinnamon tea, got it.” He stepped back and she cracked an eye open at him.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s replicators in the shuttles one floor down. Just hang tight here, okay?”

“Aw man, and here I was gonna go for a light jog,” she managed sarcastically, before tensing up again. “Ow ow ow sorry. Thanks. For real.”

“Don’t sweat it, I’ll be right back.”

Thankfully there was no one else in the shuttlebay, so he was able to get into the Yosemite without being seen. As he typed the codes into the replicator he thought briefly about how much he’d changed from Mariner’s influence in such a short amount of time; just a few years ago, the idea of sneaking into a shuttle and using its replicator for unauthorized reasons, just to shave off the few minutes of waiting in line in the mess hall, would have been unthinkable. Then again, I guess Mariner and I aren’t just friends anymore…

Oh, who was he kidding. He would probably have done this for her three years ago anyway; somehow she’d always managed to rope him into her crazy schemes even back then. Mildly unsanctioned replication for a friend in need didn’t even make the board for all the insane shit she’d gotten him to do over their friendship.

By the time he’d returned Tendi had already reappeared, and was now hovering next to Mariner’s bunk with a worried expression and a pill bottle in her hand. “Here,” Boimler said, handing off the tea; Mariner stuck a few pills in her mouth and then knocked them back with a gulp. “Hope it’s not too hot.”

She shook her head and swallowed. “S’fine. So long as I don’t hurl them back up, anyway.”

“No offense, Mariner, but I’m glad I’m not human,” Tendi admitted.

“Don’t blame you. We’re literally one of the only fucking species that does this, even on Earth! Stupid-ass human design flaw– owww shit.”

“Oh sweetie. I wish there was more I could do.” Tendi bit her lip, but Boimler just patted her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Tendi, I can take it from here.” At her surprised look he gave her a wry smile. “Trust me, this is like human boyfriend 101.”

“Okay. I’ll be right over here if you guys need me.” Clearly still concerned about her friend, Tendi retreated across the hall to her own bunk, watching him as he handed her the hot water bottle.

“Thanks," Mariner managed, tucking it against her stomach.

“No problem.” He waited until she'd had situated herself and then added: “You didn’t mention it specifically, but I’ve seen enough holo-movies, so…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little box of chocolates. Mariner’s face briefly lit up.

“Ugh you’re the best, I love you so much,” she said, practically snatching it out of his hands and popping two of them into her mouth right away. When she set the rest of the box down, she found he was staring at her and frowned. “What?”

“Uh– nothing.” He appeared to shake himself slightly as if he’d been lost in thought. “Just, you know, glad I could help.”

She raised an eyebrow at that, a little suspicious, but then her abdomen gave a particularly violent twinge and she winced, hunching over. “Ow.”

“Is there anything else I can do?”

“Just like–” She waved an irritable hand at him, “Sit here, and shut up.” She squeezed her eyes shut as the contractions grew more intense. “Sorry. Can’t really be nice right now.”

“Yeah, no, I get that.” He pulled himself up by her feet and waited until she wasn’t gritting her teeth quite as hard. “You want me to keep being quiet, or should I take your mind off it? I promise, I can be very distracting.”

She snickered despite herself. “That sounded dirty.”

“Mariner–”

“Give me twenty minutes for the painkillers to kick in, then ask me again.”

So he sat and waited dutifully, poking around on his Padd, until twenty minutes had passed and, like clockwork, he saw her relax out of the corner of his eye. “Feeling better?”

“Much,” she said fervently, shifting on her bed. “Still not great, but, y’know, not getting tortured by my own body anymore.” She nodded to his Padd. “What’re you working on?”

“Paperwork.”

“Ugh, lame. Let’s watch a movie,” she declared, pulling out her own Padd. “That’ll be plenty distracting.”

“I’ve still got all these reports to file–” She glanced up and gave him such an effective pout that he sighed good-naturedly and set his work aside. Oh yeah, he was definitely a weak man when it came to Mariner and her schemes. “Fine, fine. You know I can’t say no when you look at me like that, it makes me feel like I kicked a puppy or something.”

“Yeah, duh, that’s why I used it,” she snickered, scooting sideways on her pillow. “Come over here.”

He obliged, not unhappily, and curled up next to her on the bed. “So what’re we watching?”

“I’ve got a recording of the latest Winger Bingston show.”

“I thought you didn’t like his stuff.”

“Eh.” Mariner shrugged. “It’s growing on me. Cerritos pride, y’know?” He shook his head in amusement as she pulled up the file, and then she paused. “Hey, Boims. …You sure you don’t mind all this?”

“Mind what?”

She shrugged, trying to not look as self-conscious as she clearly felt. “You know, helping me and stuff.”

Boimler frowned and sat up slightly. “Of course not. Why would I?”

“Because I’m being kind of a jerk? And also, I mean, it’s a little embarrassing,” she complained. “I’m always talking such a big game about how I’m not scared of pain or danger or whatever, and here I am–” she gestured dramatically around to her bunk in general, “–brought low by my own biology.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s just how our species works. I mean, at least human reproductive cycles don’t drive us crazy like Vulcans’ do.” She had to grant that. “And as for being a jerk, you’re in pain, it’s fine. You can make it up to me the next time you want to make fun of me for getting stuck in a Jefferies tube or falling off a cliff or something.”

She gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Boims. You’re the best.”

“Uh yeah, obviously,” he preened, and she rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Now hit play, I missed this one because of the away-mission remember?”

“Oh yeah, you’ll have to tell me how that went…”

Over in the next bunk, Tendi eyed the pair of them and smiled quietly to herself. Boimler might have been too considerate to point out Mariner’s slip-up, and Tendi would follow his lead—but she did hope that the human woman would remember for herself at some point in the future.

“Ow. Okay, still not done yet, great."

— Though probably not for at least a couple of days.

It was in fact almost exactly a week later that Mariner did remember, and Tendi was fortunate enough to be in line with her for the replicators when she did, suddenly stopping dead with a far-away look in her eyes. “Oh shit.”

Tendi glanced back over her shoulder, surprised. “What?”

Mariner winced. “I’m not totally sure, but I think I told Boims I love him. Last week when I wasn’t feeling great and he brought me tea and stuff, remember? I was in so much pain I didn't even realize I’d done it…”

“I was wondering when you'd remember,” Tendi giggled. Mariner groaned.

“Dammit, if you noticed then he definitely did.”

“Is that a problem? I mean you guys are so close, and I don’t think he was weirded out by it or anything.”

The human woman shrugged self-consciously. “I don’t know, we just haven’t really said that kind of stuff to each other yet…”

“But you do love him, don’t you?” Tendi pointed out with a small smile.

Mariner glanced over to their usual table, where Boimler was talking to Rutherford; as she watched, he laughed at whatever the engineer was saying and took a drink from his cinnamon tea, which he had taken a liking to several days prior after sneaking her up copious amounts of the stuff from the shuttlebay. 

“...Yeah,” she said with a grin. “I do.” She saw Tendi was watching her with that same knowing smile, and turned away with a shrug and a blush, though her grin grew even wider. “What can I say? It’s biology.”