Chapter Text
Batman watches as this otherworldly entity completely crushes the buildings of his home in devastation.
This ghost is massive, tearing apart roads with just its palms like a titan etching rivers, it; has an army of cubic fighters, they are meanacing throwing the heroes with ease and recovering from every hit they throw on them almost immediately.
The best of the best are on the job trying to take this ghoul down and they are decidedly not doing their best. From the brutes to the mages and occultists everyone possible is on the field but,
No attacks work on it, whether it be from bullet, sword, or blast all physical attacks are rendered useless–they called magic users in hopes of their powers working but by the look on Constantine’s face they aren’t fairing much better.
Batman grunts toppling another one of those cubic minions and whips his head when he hears a scream
Red Robin took a hard swing from a boxed enemy and was harshly knocked to the ground.
“Ti–Red!” Batman yells and swiftly swoops in and pummels the minion with a kick
His injured son is breathing unsteadily on the ground Damian and Dick are beside him trying to protect his brother but are clearly not faring too well—both sustaining injuries of their own. Bruce can’t do anything but tunnel vision in panic. He crouches down holding the boy, checking his injuries in fear.
“It’s just a scratch,” Tim tries getting up but stumbles back onto the floor with a hiss, “Okay yeah, I think my legs got messed up.”
“Bats!” Superman swoops in beside them, “I’ll try to cover you guys as best I can but…”
Those impenetrable bots gather around the heroes like a wave, closing in on them.
Clark gulps. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold out.”
Bruce thinks to himself as he clutches his son in his arms, This is it. This is the end. This is how Gotham falls. He hugs his son tightly, I don’t want him to watch.
He hears the ghost roar , the sound vibrating through the air like a storm of alarm sirens saying this is when danger crushes us.
Bruce takes a deep breath and commands loudly on his comm for all heroes, “Evacuate–I’m saying this now, leave the battle–If you want to get home to your families please–”
Then suddenly a loud metal clang erupts crashing through the atmosphere like thunder.
Everyone pauses.
Then there is another metal clang, and another, and another, and another and–
The army of metal minions beside them fall to the floor like dominos
Bruce looks around confusedly until a minion in front of him knocks down after being hit by a… thermos?
Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground.
Heroes whip their heads to this new variable coming in and their eyes widen as—
Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a Ghostbusters t-shirt, plaid pants, bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas --not even dressed as Red Hood as if annoyed at being woken up. The young man kinda waddles lazily toward the thermos, picks it up, and absolutely decks the shit out of another minion with it before repeating the pattern .
Bruce screams at him in alarm, “Jason what are you–get the hell out of here!”
“Can you guys be any louder geez.” The tuxedo-haired boy rolls his eyes, idly throwing the silver container again, “It’s like 2 in the morning.”
“holy crap that's effective.” Duke mutters to himself in the distance, eyes widening
“I know right.” Jason says with a proud smirk and Duke coughs surprised Jason could hear him despite the distance
Somehow on his own Jason manages to knock out most–if not all of the minions and everyone is sort of just left speechless as the 19-year-old keeps swooping into their ‘terrifying battles with otherworldly beings’ yelling “Kill steal!” before knocking them down with a… a can??
Jason stares across the now empty battlefield–sort of just wrecked Gotham street–with squinted eyes looking for something.
The ghost suddenly appears in front of him, towering to the skies menacingly
Damian shrieks at the sight despite his better judgment, his brothers (ex. Jason that idiot) do the same.
“Lowly Mortal—wait… You…” The mighty tall ghost says laced with… fear?, “Are you…?”
“What’s up ghostie, y’know normally I would be down to chat but,” Jason pinches the bridge of his nose as if calming a headache and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost, “You’re not supposed to be here.”
Tim screeches, “What the hell are you doing!”
In a fit of hysteria Dick yells alongside him, “Get out of here! Run!”
They scream and shout because their idiot brother is trying to take down a real life ghost with a gun--But their pleas fall on deaf ears as Jason shoots the ghost
And it works .
From the seemingly average gun, a powerful white glowing blast erupts from it! With a hole the size of a crater in its stomach, the ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.
The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before picking up the thermos of all things off the ground (coincidentally it rolled beside him) and sucking the ghost into it.
Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell-raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.
Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions
Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”
“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold
Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”
“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off," Jason replies plainly
They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating Gotham chill' probably because he did just that.
Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very intelligently says, "What?"
Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."
"How did being a vigilante slash probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks
Jason sends him a look of his own saying ‘are you an idiot’ as he replies,
"Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all-powerful spirit weapon-- No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”
Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"
"The–" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."
Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."
"What?!" His paranoid family screech in alarm
"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."
"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands an answer
Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really don't don't know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."
Bruce levels him with a stare that says ‘you think?’
Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"
pause
Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."
"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute–" Jason says distantly in his own world with a lovesick smile
"There's an afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family
"Yea, it’s pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, and now I'm his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh, and I got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin
"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods
"I know right?" Jason chirps
"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand
Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know you're basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"
John only sighs and leaves, weirdo.
"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and that's how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"
Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; a) sobbing hysterically, b) interrogating Jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or c) sleeping, would be a better use of his time.
Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"
Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving little shit.
As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"
Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reassuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down
Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it
"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in
He crashes down out of the portal and onto an unbelievably comfortable luxurious bed–built for a king.
Danny blinks blearily snug as a bug in his pillow before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"
Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."