Chapter Text
Once again, for the second time that night, Miyamoto Usagi had no idea how he got here .
Well- actually, this time he kind of did.
He sighed, stuffing his notepad into his pocket after taking yet another table’s order.
Senor Hueso had ushered him into the restaurant despite Usagi’s objections and gave him a thirty second crash course on how to be a waiter, a fancy outfit, and then pushed him out into the dining hall. Truth be told, Usagi was only semi-compliant to Hueso because he didn’t want to face the angry mob of humans he had created outside. In any other situation, he would’ve bolted already.
When Hueso handed him the blank red and white name tag, Usagi had paused for a moment. On one hand, he didn’t really want complete strangers calling him ‘Usagi’, his given name. It felt improper. But on the other hand, this was New York. He didn’t really think people understood the difference between calling him his family name or his given name. But on the other other hand, he could also just make up a new name all together… but that would require lying to people without good reason which broke his Bushido code.
In the end, he just scrawled USAGI with the permanent marker.
He told himself it fit easier on the name tag anyway to calm the uncomfortable twist in his gut.
His main priority needed to be getting home, yet here he was playing dress up and restaurant with a bunch of yokai in New York City.
Yeah, he figured out where he was if the fifty million signs boasting BEST PIZZA IN NEW YORK CITY hanging on the walls were anything to go by.
He picked up three pies from the kitchen and walked them over to the crowd of turtles. The three that had ordered were ribbing the really weird blue one about something Usagi couldn’t possibly care less about.
He was within five feet of them when the blue one (the weird one) suddenly thunked his head down on the table and groaned.
Loudly.
He stopped his whole waiter spiel and switched to concern.
“I-is he alright?”
Usagi nearly flinched from how fast the turtle moved.
Jeez, weren’t turtle’s supposed to be slow?!
“Yep! A-Okay!”
The turtle responded so cheerfully, Usagi was unnerved to say the least.
“Okay…”
Hesitant, he passed out the plates, recited the speech Senor Hueso told him to, and left.
For some reason. Whether it be curiosity or something else, he couldn’t help but strain his hypersensitive rabbit ears to eavesdrop on the turtle’s conversation as he went about his shift.
“God, I’m such a loser. What even WAS that?”
His ear twitched and he stopped writing for a moment. What?
He snapped back into the moment, realizing that hadn’t been paying attention to his current task.
“I’m sorry ma’am, could you repeat that?”
The blonde dog yokai huffed, but repeated her order again and Usagi rang it to the kitchen with that comment on his mind. Was that why that turtle was acting so strangely?
Now that table of turtles had piqued his interest.
That was kind of… endearing? To Usagi, at least. He could see how the tables around them were starting to get annoyed with the ruckus the teens were making.
“Hey. Why didn’t I get anything?”
“That’s cause you didn’t order, dumbass. You were too busy oogling the waiter.”
That purple one was very blunt, he noticed.
“I know! We can call him back so you can order on your own!”
And the red one was enormous. He barely fit at the table.
“Wait- nonoNO!”
If Usagi went about the next few minutes of his shift slightly distracted, sue him. He had stuff on his mind.
Everytime he looked back at that table, the blue turtle would dart his eyes away from his right before they met.
“So, how was everything?”
Once their three plates were empty (the blue one had been stealing from the others, earning him many slaps on the back of his hand as well as many teases) he retrieved them from the table.
“Great. It was really good.”
That was the most normal thing the blue one had said to him all night. The purple one that was seated next to him nudged him with his elbow with a snort.
“Yeah, especially the view, huh?”
At that, he turned beet red and spun around in his seat.
“Donnie!”
Usagi actually had to stifle a laugh which he passed off as a cough behind his hand.
“ Anyways, here’s your bill. Your total is eighteen-“
“Hey! Your ribbon!”
Right as the blue turtle had said it, the ribbon slipped from his ears again. This time, he reached out and caught it before it fell to the ground.
Usagi’s ears flopped over his face again and he flicked them back with a shake of his head. He took the ribbon in one hand and held his ears back with the other, running a thumb along the frayed and faded edges of the satin. It was so old now, no wonder it kept falling off.
“Ah, That’s embarrassing. A second time. Thank you.”
He bashfully turned to the side again and tied back his ears for the second time in front of the same people.
He turned back to the turtles to find the blue one doing the same thing he had been the whole night.
“You’re staring.”
He didn’t say it as an accusation, more like a statement. Well, it was true.
The turtle looked like he had been caught, freezing up before darting his eyes to the side to think for a moment.
Usagi smiled fondly at the flustered turtle.
“Well duh . Pizza’s not the only thing you’re serving. Lookin’ damn fine like that- uhh what's his na- , Usagi. ”
He shot him a wink and a pair of cocky finger guns, leaning back in his seat as he read the name tag hanging from his vest. In between his index and middle finger- well, he only had three fingers- He held a crisp twenty dollar bill out to him.
Usagi blinked, mind reeling. He could feel his face getting dangerously hot. His blush was surely visible.
What. What. What.
He dropped the bill on the table, not looking at any of them and turned on his heels. He speed walked all the way back to the kitchen, not looking at anyone until he burst through those swinging doors. He buried his warm face in his hands on his way to the employee’s bathroom.
A cute guy. A cute guy just straight up FLIRTED with him! And it WORKED.
He splashed cold water on his face, feeling giddy. Taking a glance in the mirror, he caught sight of he stupid smile plastered across his face.
WAIT. What am I doing?!
Reality came crashing back down on him like a pile of bricks
He let himself get so caught up in the moment, he forgot that none of it- None of this meant anything.
He just had to lay low until he could get home.
He had to get home and everything would be fine.
Usagi glared at himself in the mirror until the high faded.
He needed to focus if he ever wanted to go back home.
“This is not how a samurai behaves.”
He said that one last message to himself before exiting the bathroom, pointing at his reflection on his way out.
When he returned, the turtles were gone, a crisp twenty left on the table and he just took the money, starting to clean the table.
Suddenly, a crash came from somewhere next to him and Usagi whirled around just in time to see an enormous alligator yokai stand up and slam his palms into the table, causing everything on top to rattle precariously.
“Wanna say that again, punk?”
A smaller rabbit yokai hopped up onto his chair, putting a foot on top of the table to lean over and shove his finger into the gator’s face. Outside of being a rabbit, he looked nothing like Usagi. In fact, the two of them were dressed almost like retro rockstars in their crazy flamboyant outfits.
“Oh ho, I think once was enough, right? Croc?”
When Usagi saw the gator clench his fists, he immediately knew that this was not going to end well.
“Ah’m. A. GATOR!”
Usagi was correct.
The plate spun through the air like a frisbee before it shattered against the wall into a million pieces. The rabbit dodged to the side, frown deepening.
“It is on , you lizard freak.”
The rabbit looked absolutely miniscule in comparison to the alligator, but grabbed the larger by the collar, pulled back, and let a punch fly directly into the side of the gator’s snout.
From where Usagi was standing and assessing the situation, he subconsciously noted that the punch’s form was off. But it still caused a significant amount of damage as the gator stumbled backwards, knocking his chair over.
Next to the wall with the plate wreckage, Senor Hueso fell to his knees unnoticed by everyone else who was captivated by the fight scene unfolding. He put his skull in his hands as he gawked at the shattered fragments. It was just a broken plate. Usagi had no idea why the man was so distressed, so he inched around the fighting duo and made his way to the skeleton.
“Is everything alright? There are more plates in the back if you want me to replace that one.”
Hueso looked up at the rabbit who had a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Ah, this is embarrassing.”
He wiped his eyes and started carefully picking up the plate shards.
“It must look pathetic, seeing me cry over something so small like a broken plate. I just hate seeing my restaurant get hurt. You know, it wasn’t easy moving to this sector of the hidden city with nothing. I started this restaurant from rock bottom. It is… my life. This restaurant is everything that I am.”
Usagi squatted down, helping the older man pick up the broken fragments. He held them lightly in the palm of his hand before tilting them into Hueso’s
The look of utter devastation on Senor Hueso’s face pulled at something inside Usagi that reminded him of his aunt and the way she would get when a wild tokage would ruin a batch of crops.
Hueso cradled the broken porcelain shards to his chest and Usagi internally cursed himself for following his samurai code so diligently before taking a step forwards. He really didn’t want to have to deal with these guys, but he couldn’t just let them destroy Senor Huesos livelihood. Besides it simply being the morally right thing to do, he sort of owed Hueso one for helping him escape the angry traffic mob… Whether Hueso was fully aware of what he was doing or not.
“Hey!”
The two arguing Yokai whipped their heads around along with half the restaurant that was previously watching them.
Usagi could whoop both of their asses easily. Probably in under a minute too. He reached to his sides for his katanas before remembering he was dressed like a waiter. His weapons were far far away in a locker in the back of the restaurant. As his fingers curled around air, it forced him to take a second to think.
If he fought them, it would cause more destruction to the restaurant and innocent people could get hurt.
He took a deep breath, rising out of his ready stance and calmly stepping up the table.
“Good evening gentlemen. Do you mind taking this outside? You two are causing quite the commotion in our restaurant.”
The pair looked at eachother, at Usagi, and then back at each other.
And then the rabbit threw another punch.
Usagi barely had time to dodge before they went crashing to the floor, a wild mess of kicks and punches. His ear twitched irritatedly at them as he watched. He caught the table right before it fell, straightening out the things on top. He grabbed the rabbit and the alligator, ripping them off of eachother.
He held them by the back of their necks, clenching his fists. He was much stronger than he looked and this seemed to shock the aggressive yokai as he dragged them to the portal wall.
“I said ‘Take. It. OUTSIDE .’”
With one forceful shove, he threw them into the swirling blue light and closed the portal.
Feeling vindicated, he turned back around and realized that he had caught the attention of everyone in the restaurant. So much for laying low.
“Oh, thank you Usagi! Thank you!”
He looked down and found Hueso with his arms wrapped around his middle in a tight embrace.
“Uh, you're welcome.”
Usagi spluttered out quickly, slightly embarrassed in front of all the people watching.
HIs ears fell in front of his face again and the ribbon landed on his shoulder. He really needed to replace that old thing.
In a few moments, business in the restaurant returned to normal as if the fight never happened. Usagi retied his ears in their usual topknot and went about his shift until closing.
With the restaurant dark and empty, he opened his designated locker and retrieved his samurai samue that he usually wore. Seeing it sent a pang of guilt through his chest, reminding him once again what his goal should be.
Get home.
That’s all he needed to focus on. He needed to somehow portal himself back to Neo Edo.
“Ah!”
Spinning back around, he nearly knocked into Senor Hueso who was apparently standing right behind him.
Usagi hissed in pain as the back of his skull knocked into the wall of lockers. He reached up to rub the injury.
“ Cuidado hijo! I just wanted to thank you again for what you did earlier.”
“It was no problem, really.”
He held his clothing tighter, tucking it under his arm along with all the promises he made when he chose to become a samurai.
“Not many people would have done what you did. Stepping up like that. Real valentía y coraje, you know?”
“Uhh…”
Usagi paused at the unfamiliar words. He knew japanese and english, but not this.
“Bravery and courage. Spanish. Anyways, here’s your paycheck for tonight. Your employment was very last minute so I won't be offended if you don’t show up again tomorrow, but do truly hope that you will.”
He held out a hefty stack of money to Usagi who took it gingerly. That’s right, this was a job. People get paid at jobs.
“...Thank you?”
Hueso nodded with a smile before tilting his head in confusion.
“ Hijo, is that what you wear? No offense, but do you not have anything else?”
Usagi looked at his samue. He had more clothes back at home, but this was all that he had here. The cloth was a little worn, not to the extent of his hair ribbon, but it was still in pretty rough shape.
“Uhm, yeah… My aunt gave it to me but I've had it for a while.”
Hueso stared at the blue fabric of the samue for a moment and thoughtfully took the material between his fingers, feeling it for a moment.
“You know, an- erm, a friend of mine has some old clothes that he doesn’t fit into anymore. I’m sure they would be happy to get rid of them.”
Usagi put his hands up, politely waving away the offer.
“I’m alright, thank you. My samue is enough for me.”
He side stepped Hueso, going into the bathroom to change. With his old clothing back on, he felt more like himself. He put the stack of money in his pocket and stepped out the restaurant portal.
The night sky was shrouded in clouds. It would probably rain later.
“You really think that portal guy was the reason they beat us? The smart one was way better!”
“Nuh-uh, they portaled in and out super fast because of him.”
Usagi stopped in his tracks, ears twitching to their conversation. He spun on his heels to face-
Ohhh… the rabbit and gator from earlier.
Oh god.
“Hey, you two again!”
He grimaced, knowing what was about to come.
The two whirled around and Usagi put up his hands in surrender.
“Listen, I don’t want any trouble. What were you guys just talking about? About the portals?”
The other rabbit laughed.
“Ha! Like we’d talk to you .”
Usagi racked his brain, trying to think fast.
“I’ve… I’ve got money!”
He quickly pulled out the money Hueso gave him, pulling it close to the chest when the rabbit reached out to grab it.
“It’s all yours if you tell me everything you know about portals.”
The rabbit and gator glanced at each other.
“Listen, kid. That’s like-what, eighty dollars? Ya threw us out of a restaurant and we don’t like you. We know where to probably find a portal or somethin’ like that. We’ll give ya the location and that’s it. location for your li’l paycheck.”
He grit his teeth. He was hoping for more, but he wasn’t about to start an alley fight.
“Deal.”
Usagi was grateful that the location was underground because soon after he left the sketchy duo, it had begun to rain. Hard.
A boom of thunder shook the street as he placed the manhole cover back over his head, pulling his bandana over his face to block the smell. He climbed down the ladder silently, moving slowly in the shadows.
Once his feet touched the damp, concrete ground, he saw his reflection in a sewer puddle and cringed.
He looked like a ninja.
Usagi hated ninjas.
He tightened his topknot, his symbol of honor. This was for the greater good. Ninjas chose violence for selfish and greedy reasons, he was doing this to get back home.
Or at least that’s what he was telling himself as he slunk close to the wall, making no noise.
He carefully trod along until the tunnel suddenly opened up into a sort of joint space. It was clearly occupied. It even had a giant skate ramp in the middle.
Usagi scaled the wall, using the many hanging lights, poles, and other fixtures to cross along the ceiling. He dropped himself down in a sort of garage, exactly where he was trying to go.
Everything was purple, whoever lived here must’ve liked that color a lot.
There was a tank of sorts parked near the door. Usagi thought it kind of looked like a turtle.
He crept around, quietly rummaging around bins and shelves for something- anything that resembled a portal. He crossed over to a desk, squatting down to see the boxes underneath. There were bins of blueprints, all labeled nice and neat.
Rocket shells… plasma lasers… interdimensional travel!
Usagi excitedly reached out to the plastic bin, pulling it out of its place, but the second his hand touched the bin, it began to glow bright purple.
“FINGERPRINT SCANNING”
He scrambled back on all fours, staring at his hand that now held a tightly rolled up sheet of paper. What the heck?! It had fingerprint scanning?!!
“INTRUDER NOT RECOGNIZED”
Oh shit.
“ALERT ALERT”
Sirens wailed from speakers in the walls and purple lights began to flash, illuminating the space.
Before Usagi could even attempt to find an exit, the door burst open, revealing a very tired looking turtle with a can of energy drink in their hand.
“Who dares break into my laboratory?!”
That voice sounded familiar. If he wasn’t desperately trying to find somewhere to run off to, Usagi would’ve tried to get a better look at their face.
He shoved the paper into the chest fold of his samue, freeing his hands.
“Donniedonniedonnie, what is going on?!”
A second turtle appeared in the doorway, weapons drawn.
Usagi knew that voice. He knew he knew it, but he just couldn’t put his finger on where he had heard it before.
“This heathen broke into my sanctuary!”
“Whoa dude, are you trying to like, rob us or something? Not cool.”
Usagi leapt to his feet as the second turtle stepped into the light.
The blue turtle from the restaurant.
Here, he looked less friendly and flustered. He was almost menacing and Usagi instinctively grabbed his dual wield katanas. In response, the turtle drew a large odachi from behind his shell.
“Wait a second, you're the guy from the traffic accident earlier! Oh ho, you’re in trouble now!”
Silently, Usagi raised his swords. He didn’t want to fight the turtle, but at the same time he needed to get out of there.
“Wow, this is just like that old story. Y’know the tortoise and the hare?”
The turtle teased and Usagi felt his fur prickle in annoyance. He was stressed out of his mind and this turtle was cracking jokes?
“You sure you still wanna fight me? Cus, if I’m remembering that story right, you won’t like the ending.”
The turtle leaned on his sword, giving a shit-eating smirk that Usagi wanted to smack right off his face. Scratch whatever happened at the restaurant, this was what that boy was really like.
“What should we even call you? The rabbit menace? Nah, the Bunny monster- Ooh! The Bonster!”
He snickered at his own joke and Usagi tightened his grip on his sword. It was tradition for samurai to announce their name before engaging in battle, plus, he didn’t want this guy going around calling him “The Bonster”.
“ You shall call me Miyamoto, turtle.”
He charged, swords flying behind him. The turtle blocked the attack, sending him down. Usagi quickly recovered and dove to the side, narrowly missing a strike.
He would’ve been more focused on the fight if he wasn’t scanning the walls for an exit.
The sewer tunnels! Of course!
From his place on the ground, he could see a few sewer tunnels near the ceiling.
Usagi flipped back onto his feet, formulating a plan.
He struck again, not as an attack, but overhead so that the blue turtle was sent stumbling backwards. He took the chance to jam the hilt of his other sword into the soft space between his plastron and shell.
He took the chance as the turtle keeled over, coughing in pain. Usagi leapt up and flipped until he was hanging from the ceiling again.
He looked down. The purple turtle was kneeling over the blue one, assessing his wounds.
The blue one was looking up at Usagi with so much hatred, he felt a cold shiver run down his spine.
Usagi left quickly and silently.
It was almost a blessing, the way he was able to retrace his steps and find the same manhole that he had entered from. The moment he opened the cover, he was doused with the rain that was now pouring from the sky in buckets.
He took shelter back next to the NYC graffiti where Run of the Mill was. He unrolled the paper that he had stolen, guilt flooding his stomach like a tsunami. The pouring rain splattered on the paper, but it must have been waterproof because the moisture just beaded up and spilled off. Genius.
He shook off the water when it started to collect on the page so he could actually read it.
It was a blueprint.
A blueprint for a portal.
He paced up and down the alley, rereading the sheet over and over again. The rain that was starting to lighten up meant nothing to him.
The detailed illustrations and calculations made sense to him since knew a thing or two about machines already. His aunt taught him how to repair their farmbotto when he was younger and it turned out, he was surprisingly skilled at it. By the time he was twelve, he had become their unofficial mechanic and auntie never needed to worry about the farmbotto breaking down in the middle of the fields anymore.
He even built his own motorbike as a project during the dry season two years ago.
He had begged to see Neo Edo for himself so his aunt reluctantly dragged him along for a routine produce delivery. Usagi, being young and naive, slipped past his aunt and began exploring the marketplace. He managed to escape her for five whole minutes which- considering the fact that she was the most formidable samurai he knew- was actually very impressive. Those precious five minutes were spent at one of the travelers' carts that were parked near the permanent stands. They were selling a variety of tech material from spare parts, to tools, and to an overflowing bin of blueprints.
Usagi’s eyes were immediately drawn to the one that pictured a flashy motorbike… and it looked like he had just enough joules in his pocket to buy it. One thing led to another until his aunt spotted him and he was dragged away by his topknot.
The blueprint was confiscated, of course, but it was given back a few years later when Usagi had proven himself to be mature enough.
Usagi was no stranger to hard work, but he had worked his tail off during the wet season to make sure the farm would make plenty of money to pay for all the parts he needed to build the bike.
It only went uphill from there when he was able to drive right into Neo Edo on his own to make faster deliveries. With the farm more than financially stable, he had plenty of money to tinker around with machine parts…
Also being on a farm alone with no friends and no one his age to talk to meant he had all the time in the world to learn (but he didn’t like thinking about it that way).
So it would be safe to say he knew what he was doing.
The parts themselves weren’t impossible to find, but he knew that these kinds of machinery weren’t just something he could pick up from a normal hardware store. He was going to need bribe money.
He cringed at the thought of it. Bribe. Money. His entire Bushido code went against the horrid concept. What would his aunt think?
And then there was the issue of getting that money in the first place. Black market deals weren’t cheap.
He paused in his pacing, closing his eyes and dropping his forehead against the wall. The rain was beginning to soak through his layers of clothing.
Opening his eyes, he saw the graffiti on the brick. The one that marked that specific part of the wall as the entry portal to Run of the Mill.
An idea wormed it’s way into Usagi’s head and as much as he wished he could just shrug it off, he knew he couldn’t.
Run of the Mill didn’t open until late in the evening since normal yokai wouldn’t dare step out onto the streets in broad daylight. The register was right up near the front and the lock didn’t look that complex or difficult.
Usagi heaved a sigh, making up his mind as he placed the blueprint into the chest fold of his samue.
He was going to rob Run of the Mill.