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rin was tired.
she was tired of being alone,of being ignored by everyone.
She was tired of it all.
why did miku ignore her.
but most importantly,why did her own brother ignore her?
Her brother who she loved so dearly.
She sacrificed everything for him.
she was there for him whenever he needed her,she understood his emotions and tried her best to comfort him.
why didn’t he understand her,why wasn’t he there for her? Why was he so selfish?
why did he pick others over her?
She was tired of it.
she didn’t know why she bottled up her feelings, she just bottled them up until she couldn’t anymore.
or she would just remember hurtful moments and she would be bothered by it for the rest of the day.
like that one time her and Len fought.
“You’re so fucking annoying!,I wish I never had a sister!” He growled at her. His voice full of hatred.
well that seemed to be enough to shut her up.
She stayed silent. Len took her silence as an excuse to continue.
”aren’t you suicidal? You know, you should totally go hang yourself. Or maybe just cut deeper! id be so much happier if you were 6 feet underground!” he spat. this time pointing at her arms.
rin could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Yet she stayed there and kept her eyes on the floor.
who knew that telling your brother whom you trusted so much would end up with him using your deepest insecurities against you in a fight?
”I hate you.” Rin finally broke the uncomfortable silence between them.
”what?”
”I HATE YOU!” rin shouted, tears streaming down her face. getting out of his room and loudly slamming the door shut.
she’ll face her dads anger later. She deserved the punches anyway.
Or that time when her and Miku argued.
”just shut up for once! cant you shut up for two seconds?!” Miku slammed her fist into the table and yelled at rin.
rin flinched at the sudden action. Her excitement quickly replaced with fear.
”Miku..” rin spoke quietly. Tightly gripping the leek keychain in her hand. she had saved up her allowance to buy Miku a nice gift.
“Dont Miku me! Just shut up! Nobody wants to hear your stupid autistic blabbering! “Miku! Look at this!” “ Miku can I come over? Let’s hang out!” Miku this Miku that! Stop it!”
rin just looked at the floor in silence. Suppressing a sob that threatened to escape her mouth in any second.
”I’m sorry.” Rin said quiet enough that she couldn’t hear herself.
”you cry over everything! Your extremely sensitive! And just your existence pisses me off!” Miku said as she walked away. Her pigtails following behind her.
rin watched her girlfriend walk away. Now fully sobbing in the school cafeteria.
rin looked down at her hand to see the leek keychain she had bought. Her teardrops falling onto it.
She was so excited to give this to Miku.
she was so excited to see her smile.
-
those words would haunt her mind all day.
those words hurt more than anything.
Each one felt like a sharp knife digging deep into her heart.
it hurt more Because they were from the two people who she cherished most.
it hurt so much that she could throw up.
she wanted to be appreciated and loved.
Before she knew it, her pillow was soaked in tears and drool.
she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to disappear so badly.
was it normal to feel all this at 14?
she wanted love and affection so badly.
she just wanted to cry in someone’s arms as they rubbed her back and played with her hair.
Her heart yearned for that.
it hurts so much.
she wanted that so bad.
It hurt when she saw her dad who neglected her all her life comfort Len. It hurt.
it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts.
she wanted it to be over.
so, she decided that tomorrow will be her last day.
because, everyone would be happier with her gone right?