Work Text:
The night is calm, a soft breeze cooling the Wangshu Inn. The residents are asleep, even Verr Goldet is snoring softly in her bed.
However, a certain yakasha is missing.
Xiao is among fields of blossoms, searching for glaze lilies and silk flowers. His plan is to bring them to his lover.
Carefully, his hands pluck the flowers from the ground. After gathering enough for a bouquet, he stands up and begins to walk to where he’s going to meet them.
On the way, he sees several camps of hilichurls, but he pays them no attention.
The yakasha is only here to see his soulmate.
Reaching the crest of the last hill, he drinks in the sight in front of him. The moon is glowing brightly above Luhua Pool, the reflection on the water mirroring his own world. The grass waves softly in the breeze, and the trees rustle a secret melody of their own.
The adepti’s eyes are full of emotion. This is the very spot he met them. (Y/n.)
Accidentally wandering into a camp of hilichurls here, they thanked him profusely, and even tried to become friends.
And although Xiao tried to push them away, each time they came back, and somehow the adepti fell for them.
Their smile, their laugh, their personality.
He loved all of them.
“(Y/n)…” he whispers.
Tears are pricking the corner of his eyes as he walks to one of the nearby trees.
“I love you…”
A lone grave sits under the tree. Unmarked, but he will never forget who it belongs to.
“And I’ll wait forever…”
The adepti places the flowers on the grave in front of him.
Just another unfortunate event in Xiao’s life. He should have expected it. But Xiao let his guard down, let this mortal into his life. And a small piece of his soul whispered, “what if?”
So he let them stay. He clung to the false hope that he could withhold his corruption, and suppress the unbounded karmic debt that was burdened on his shoulders. He was wrong. The remnants of slaughtered souls and unfulfilled dreams overpowered him, and when he returned to his senses, there they lay.
Their broken body resting in his hands, their blood staining the floor beneath both of them. And yet, with the last of their strength, with the last of their life, (Y/n) forgave him.
“I will always love you.” They whispered. “It does not matter to me that I am passing on now, even if it is from your karmic debt… I would never trade the memories I have with you for anything else in the world. I was happiest when I was with you, Xiao.” (Y/n) coughed wetly, blood trickling from their lips. “My only regret is that we could not spend more time together. Maybe someday, in another world, we could be together for eternity, and the only barrier separating us would be the clothes we wear. No statuses, lifespans, nor jobs to complete. Goodbye, my love, may we meet once more in our next life.” Their eyes closed. (Y/n) exhaled one final breath, and their body went limp.
Xiao grieved that night. He poured his sadness and anger into his work, nearly collapsing from the swirling emotions and karma within his mind. Mortals who were close enough to his battles said they felt an overwhelming feeling of despair and helplessness from the area. Rumors circulated that a higher being’s soulmate had died, and the deity would never love another person again.
The mortals who spoke were right. He never had. The centuries passed, and soon (Y/n) faded into his memories. Their face blurred, their smile lost beneath the countless lives he took. Until it was only their voice that remained in his mind, a mere whisper of his name, said by them.
The chains of immortality kept Xiao from death. No matter how hard he tried to forget, no matter how bloodied his wounds were, he could not forget (Y/n), he could not die. His purpose was shackled to this world, as long as remnants of fallen gods from the Archon War remained. There was no other yaksha there to support him, the rest having succumbed to the bitter fates of insanity and death. Xiao was the sole survivor, tied here and cursed to an eternal bringing death, cursed to forever remember the souls whose lives he took. Their screams haunted his dreams, waking him in the night. Until he no longer slept. Even (Y/n) joined the cast of nightmares, their faceless figure hanging from the walls surrounding him.
Every time he closed his eyes, Xiao saw their body. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw their blood. He saw their death, caused by his own hands. He saw their last moment of life. Their final words tormented his soul. He wished that they had hated him, that they showed fear and hatred in their final moments. Because it would be easy for him to let go. To pretend that they was just another mortal he needed to kill, instead of so much more. But they did not, which drove him to the brink of insanity. Forever would he be haunted by their voice. Forever would he be haunted by the echoes of the past.
Just another unfortunate event in the yakasha’s life. As tears streamed down his face, Xiao thought he heard (Y/n) say his name.
But it was just the wind.
Fate is cruel, and sometimes people don’t realize how much another means to them until they’re gone.
Xiao was one of these.
Broken.
Lost.
And grieving for someone he once loved.