It’s years after when Christopher has finally figured out his best guess. Jim refuses to take any messages, so a Captain of Starfleet has to go to a disreputable bar to find the troubled son of a Starfleet hero. He keeps on his uniform, as well as his sidearm, despite this is the sort of place that would be anti-authority figure. Years of dealing with cadets and angry planet natives have prepared him for being able to deal with whatever objections they might have to his presence, often without force. So far, his stern gaze is effective enough. He reaches the table and politely asks the girl the kid is chatting up to leave. When she seems reluctant, he narrows his eyes a little and she scrams.
“You cost me action tonight, unless you’re offering.” Despite his words, Jim doesn’t sound especially upset about it.
“I don’t want to know your fantasies, kid, especially when I knew George.” He throws out the tidbit and watches as the kid looks intrigued despite himself.
“You didn’t mention that in your dissertation,” he responds. It’s interesting that the kid looked him up, and a good sign if he wants to keep Jim Kirk’s confidence, but this is not where he wants to be having this conversation.
“Well, I’m not just here for you. I have work to do, so follow me.” He stands up, sure that the kid’s going to follow just because every time he shows confidence like this, people follow him as the Captain. The kid may dislike being normal like everyone else, but he has the sneaking suspicion curiosity is the way to pull him in. Besides, if he’s probably hacking personnel files just to keep an eye on the one Starfleet Captain he supposedly only vaguely tolerates, he’s interested. There’s no way a dropout like Kirk could get his hands on the dissertation without some kind of illegal activity. Maybe he’d actually brought it up to see a reaction, but Pike just notes it and files it away, instead.
They’re in the car for a bit before Jim points out, “This isn’t the way to the local Starfleet office.”
“No, but I don’t want to tell them anything about you you don’t want them to know. We’ll drive around.” Jim looks shocked, but he shouldn’t be. Then again, and the thought hurts him, maybe he hasn’t really had anyone think about him, first, in his entire life. Aside from his birth, during which he wasn’t able to really experience and remember that kind of care.
He suddenly drops his teenage angst and suddenly looks years younger, passing a hand over his face. “I appreciate it. I guess you want to actually talk about something instead of just the Fleet’s biggest cover-up.”
His voice is a little bitter, but Christopher doesn’t blame him. “You can trust our driver, too.”
Phil turns a little in the driver’s seat and waves. Jim laughs, and then turns serious again. “Well, I trust him a lot more than most—nah, any doctors I know. I’m not sure how you’re part of Starfleet and yet don’t trust them. Aren’t you one of those big household names they love to talk about?”
“Being a good Captain doesn’t mean playing all the Admirals’ bureaucrat games. I think one of the most important things I learned in the Academy was how to appease them and not cause an incident without losing my pride or the pride of my crew.” He might as well be honest. Jim probably doesn’t get a lot of that, either.
“Well, that’s not what they say in the brochures.” The kid looks thoughtful. “Too bad. It’d work so much better than the crap they try to foist on us.”
It’s probably the most politic to avoid responding to that, which is how he deals with the world half the time. “Our theory is a little odd, but it’s based on what little we actually know. We think you might be a cambion.” Pike’s trying his hardest to sound certain despite the sheer oddity of the situation. Still, he’s probably encountered…well, not weirder, but maybe as weird things out there in the dark. “In mythology, that’s the son of an incubus.”
Jim blinks, face oddly blank. “Are you saying George was an incubus?”
“Actually, we believe that it took his shape, down to the very DNA,” Christopher corrects. “There was a supposed ‘clerical error’ that recorded George Kirk as being in two places at once nine months before you were born. The same kind of ‘clerical error’ that listed you as dead for seven days after you were born before you began breathing and your heart started beating. You’re charismatic, which is something I’ve witnessed firsthand. You can enter erotic dreams and need them as sustenance, if the last time we met was any indication.” He can avoid saying the words; found that, when dealing with the kid, neither pretending Tarsus IV didn’t exist nor saying anything straight out was the correct approach. “I assume the same is true of your extracurricular activities I’ve heard about here.” At this, the kid smirks. He ignores that. “And I don’t know if you’d noticed, but according to the medical records, you heal faster if you have had sex.”
“We’re going with superstition?” His tone is…odd. It’s not like he doesn’t believe it. It’s more like he’s…insulted?
Here it is, then. This is crucial. Mess it up, and he’s not likely to get a second chance, but he’s been performing under pressure and he feels some obligation to George as well as caring for his troublemaking son. “It wouldn’t be the first alien species we’ve made first contact with without realizing it. Witches were actually aliens, and we know how those got explained.”
That’s classified, but surprisingly Jim knows when not to blab about secrets, even if he personally disagrees about keeping it a secret in the first place. As expected, it makes the kid sit up straighter in his seat, suddenly sharp and interested. “That’s not the first story that’s made magic or demons out of other species.” He takes a deep breath, meets blue eyes sharp as diamonds and just as remote. “If you learn nothing else today, remember this: it’s not like being half human makes you any less than a person. It just means that you don’t necessarily need to live up to a flawed hero.”
He’s seen the way everyone expects the son to live up to George and how violently the kid tried to escape that comparison. He sets himself up as a failure, maybe, because that way people just get what they expect. He’s seen exactly how stubborn Jim is, though. That while George was brilliant and could work with whatever he was given, Jim would rebel and somehow manage to find a third option no matter how stubbornly the universe only offered two. He could be amazing, but only if he learns that he doesn’t need to be a replacement.
With just sheer shock on the kid’s face, he looks years younger. “Flawed?” he stammers. “But you—you wrote…”
“He was a hero who saved hundreds of lives,” Pike nods. “I don’t mean to diminish that. As a Captain, I have to think about my fellow Captains and crew down to the last ensign. If they manage to make me involved in the Academy, I’ll have at least three times that number of recruits to look after.” Jim’s lips twist in sympathy. It’s true that a ground assignment wouldn’t really be his first choice, but he loves learning new things and making a difference, and teaching at the Academy would help him achieve those goals too. It would just be…less fun. “Call me strange, but I don’t think a man who died is necessarily an example to aspire to. The whole reason I wrote that dissertation was to try to find an option that didn’t involve so much death.”
“As usual, he’s taking credit for an idea I gave him,” Phil gripes, but he doesn’t have to be facing them for Christopher to know he’s smiling. “I honestly think most students should go through at least helping out the Med Students. I don’t think they emphasize the fact that Starfleet is a peacekeeping organization enough.”
He can almost hear the gears in Jim’s head turning, can see the whirring speed of a computer in his eyes. He’s suddenly back to the present. “You didn’t tell my mom, did you? I think it’d break her.”
“If I tell Winona Kirk anything—and I try not to talk to her because as far as I can tell we’ve decided to ignore each other’s careers—I wouldn’t tell her that. It’s not exactly rational, but we haven’t been on good terms since George’s death.” Eyes narrow, but he doesn’t panic or throw up his hands. “She blames Starfleet, and even more so if we knew him. It doesn’t make sense, but grief often doesn’t.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Jim mutters. “Well, you gentlemen have given me a lot to think about, so if you could let me out…”
“I believe this is your stop,” Phil replies and stops the car.
Jim glances at them and then smirks, slowly. “Well, I have no idea about Mom, but if more of your fellow ‘Fleet were like you two, I might actually like Starfleet. Given your whole speech you better not be a hypocrite and die.” He hops out and salutes ironically before walking off.
“Interesting kid,” Phil comments. “He reminds me of you.”
“He’s bright enough he knows it, too,” Christopher agrees. “I wish I could be more involved, but…”
“You’d draw Starfleet’s attention to him, and neither he nor his mother would thank you for it,” Boyce points out reasonably. “You’re doing the best you can, Captain. Even now you’re making a difference for the boy. Just think of how much he’s changed from when you first met him. He shows a remarkable resilience and capacity for change.”
“I hope he doesn’t get himself killed before he fulfills his potential,” Pike grumbles, but he has a feeling Jim Kirk will surprise them all.
Chapter 1: A Higher Standard
Summary:
Pike finally has some idea what's going on, but tracking down the Kelvin Baby is a little harder than even some of his away missions...
Notes:
(At some point, Pike hijacked my original intentions for the fic. Mostly by insisting on showing up more often than just that first chapter I'd planned.
As he's awesome, I didn't really protest.)
(Also, for the curious among you, that was the weirdest interview I've ever had. Not that I've had many, but. You know, it had weird parallels with Pike Recruiting Jim Except Without Pike Enjoying His Job. Weird conversation more than interview.)
~Dreamer~
Chapter Text
Chapter 2: Pep Talk
Summary:
Pike meets his strangest recruit...
Chapter Text
The next time they meet, Jim squints a little through swollen eyes before grinning and waving cheekily at him from the table. From the looks of things, he’s still as in love with dangerous things like fights as he is the sexual relations he needs to live.
Still, he’s unfailingly cheerful as he rolls the paper towels and places them up his nose to stop the bleeding. “I’ve been thinking about your proposition.”
It gets easier to ignore the flirting over time. “Oh?” is all he asks.
“Yeah, well. You really were kinda trying to recruit me to Starfleet last time, weren’t you?” the kid asks. “All those rosy pictures you painted of your workplace.”
Pike blinks, because while it’d been a hope, he hadn’t actually tried hard or expected anything. “If you’ve been thinking about it that long, I must’ve been very persuasive without even trying,” he responds dryly. Usually, he’d take credit for that, but Kirk would see right through him if he tried.
“Yeah, went and took the entrance tests and everything. Think the recruiting officer could be persuaded to let me join up?” Jim’s still smiling winningly. And okay, yeah, so he had been paying way too much attention to the career of Captain Pike, which was flattering, really.
“After picking a fight with possible fellow cadets?” Pike responds with a raised eyebrow.
“I give a really good blowjob?” the kid offers.
Christopher doesn’t bother to hide the wince. “Less convincing.” They’ll probably have rumors anyway; no need to add fuel to the fire.
“It’s time I did something with my life?” He sounds incredibly unsure, and at the look, smiles a little. “Yeah, okay, I’m bored and it’d be cool to see the stars, but I don’t know how convincing that is.”
“Your aptitude tests are off the charts. There’s enough happy military brats in the service. Look at the Vulcans, look at the Andorians, or any other Federation species deciding to join Starfleet. We’re stronger in diversity. We need people who will approach problems with unique solutions.” He shakes his head at the look Jim gives him. “Just saying, arguments like that? Happen to be more convincing.”
The kid’s silent for a decent amount of time, wordlessly calling for another glass and draining it before he speaks. His voice is quiet, lost. Showing a vulnerability he doesn’t, often, and that’s a privilege Pike doesn’t take for granted. “I’m sick of drifting in George Kirk’s orbit. I want to do something for me, and if that involves throwing myself into the black whether or not Mom’s okay with that? That’s what’s gonna happen.”
“If you put your mind to it, kid, you could be officer in four years. Have your own ship in eight.” Jim snorts disbelievingly, but there’s a thoughtful look, still, in his eyes.
“You really think I could do it, huh?” There’s still a wonder, there, but he’s had years to get used to the idea that anyone could actually believe in him, after all.
“Let’s put it this way. George Kirk was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred lives, including your mother’s, and yours. People are going to keep comparing you to him, thinking there’s no way you can live up to the name.” He leans forward, holding eye contact, no matter how uncomfortable Jim looks. “I dare you to do better. Prove ‘em all wrong, kid.”
Jim’s gone back to defensive and quiet, but he does manage a slight, lopsided smile that leads to his lips splitting.
“Riverside shipyard. The shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow at 0800.” And he stands up to leave. If nothing else, Jim Kirk could make even a ground assignment interesting.
Chapter 3: Hey Young Brat
Summary:
Jim manages to get Pike in trouble without even being present...
Chapter Text
He actually does show up. Christopher allows himself a smile and does the victory dance inside his head, where no one can see a Captain acting like a kid.
Of course, the kid manages to make his life interesting faster than anyone else, but then, Jim was a prodigy. The decision to take Jim Kirk despite the record (and the icy complaint filed by Winona Kirk) had gotten him into trouble with the Admiralty faster than anything else he’d ever done, but when he’d done it partially in defiance of the decision to ground him, that wasn’t too surprising. The same Admirals who hated Pike’s guts wouldn’t like the kid, not when he was an action of peaceful opposition and a reminder of their least favorite Captain, Christopher Pike, all rolled into one. He suspects one of them starts the rumor Jim got in with a very different type of prowess, but he tells others, such as Boyce, to point out that the same sort of reasoning had been used for any and all Orion candidates.
Even relatively friendly Admirals like Marcus were questioning the decision. “Chris, there are those saying we just let him in through nepotism.”
“Ignoring his exam grades,” Pike grumbles quietly.
His old friend throws his hands up. “Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just relaying what’s being said. And what will keep being said. That’s not even considering the allegations he slept his way in. He’s going to have a lot to do to prove himself.”
That’s at least firm ground to stand on. “He’ll do it,” he says with certainty, and Marcus looks surprised.
“What, you have that much faith in him?” He leans against the railing with Pike, staring out into the San Francisco night.
“People said I was a gamble when I was recruited, whether or not I was related to my father,” Christopher points out, and Marcus laughs.
“Well, that’s true. But at least all you were was reckless and fond of alcohol. This kid has more vices than you.” The question makes him uncomfortable, like it’s an interrogation, and despite the fact that he trusts this man, owes him so much of who he is and where he is now…despite all that, this makes him uncomfortable, and he hides the urge to tell the truth and any fidgeting that might have occurred due to his own guilt. If nothing else he made the promise to kid who’s not used to people keeping them, but rather more used to people invading his privacy without so much as a thank you. The moment passes. “Well, I’m sure he’ll appreciate having a man like you on his side,” the man continues warmly.
“Speaking from experience, I can say with absolute certainty that that is the case,” he says with a smile, and Marcus puts his hand on Pike’s shoulder in recognition.
Chapter 4: Don't You Know I Suffer
Summary:
Jim has a question for Pike...
Chapter Text
“What are long-term relationships actually like?”
The kid had been so quiet that Chris hadn’t actually expected anything from him other than a quiet appreciation of the San Francisco night, so it takes him a moment or two to respond.
The oddest thing is that it sounds…wistful.
“I…I can’t say I really know,” he answers, surprised, and Jim hums quietly. “That’s not to say it’s not something I’ve ever wanted, but being a Captain makes relationships extremely difficult. If you wanted one, your best chance is probably to date someone and get engaged or married before you go up there.” He gestures toward the sky.
“I’ve seen what happens when it goes wrong. Mom never got over…George.” He swallows and looks uncomfortable. “She loved him so much she couldn’t even look at her own kids. I can’t tell you how many times since you found me when I was seventeen I wondered if she knew I wasn’t actually George’s kid, but I think it’s just.” He swipes a knuckle at his eyes, and Chris realizes the kid is probably crying. He debates what he should do for a little while before deciding that, as with the rest of the kid’s emotions, drawing attention to them will only make things worse. “It’s like—it’s like their love was a star, up there in the sky. And then when it died, it just collapsed into a black hole that swallowed everything and didn’t leave any love left for us.” He sniffs. “Sorry to get maudlin; it’s Sam’s birthday and I haven’t heard from him since he ran away. Crap.”
Pike tries hard not to respond; he really does. But this is more than he’s heard from the kid about his life than…well, maybe ever. Despite the fact that he’s demonstrated, over and over, that he somehow considers Pike and Boyce safe people. He’s slow to trust, and maybe Chris would feel better about it if he had a clue as to how he’d earned that.
The smug grin would be more convincing if not for the haunted look in the deceptively innocent blue eyes. “Yeah, I know a few big words. Reading’s fun, although it’s a pity it’s over so soon.”
The moment stretches to the point Pike thinks he’s shut the kid down without even saying anything, when Jim starts talking again. “I’m curious, you know. I might not ever experience it, myself, but…I gotta wonder, you know? What it’s like to just hold someone’s hand or kiss them just for the sake of kissing them. To actually care about one person like that. I try not to watch romances because, well, they bore me and they make me weepy, and I’m gonna be Captain someday. I’m gonna have to be the strong one in the room. At least when there’s anyone else in the room. But there’s…there’s courtship, there’s talking, there’s flowers and gifts. What it’s like to have romance that burns like the sun and would burn itself right out of you if it’s lost.”
Pike can’t keep silent any longer. “It’s not easy, Jim, but it’s not impossible as starship Captain. You can still have that, if you wanted.”
And now Jim’s expression is definitely bitter. “You could have that. I can’t. I have a ‘condition’,” he uses sarcastic air quotes, “…that’s apparently so out of the norm even in the twenty-third century I’m a man-slut.”
“Are you drunk?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and at the look of betrayed hurt, he wishes, more than anything, he could take them back. “I—I’m not ignoring your concerns, and if I could fix any of this, I would. Believe me.”
Jim’s still looking hurt, but after a moment or two he nods, exhaling slowly.
“It’s just—despite the rumors I hear, this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk about yourself.” He’s aware that trying to defend his actions might just make the situation worse, but if nothing else explaining things rather than assuming he’ll understand has worked out so far.
The Command cadet chuckles. “I might be a little tipsy, yeah. Nothing was supposed to be alcoholic, but the punch is anyway.” He outright smirks. “Which is why I drank all of it. Someone was planning to use it in a not so good way.”
Pike instantly panics. “Why didn’t you warn me? We could have confiscated it!” He should start teaching Kirk to use the chain of command, rather than just resenting it. Then again, given his reaction to authority and his trust issues and the number of people—like Kodos, like that damned stepfather—who’d misused it blatantly, no wonder, but he can’t get through the Command program if he can’t adapt to using it. And that Jim felt the need to step in like that probably means some sort of sexual harassment, if not worse. It’s not altogether surprising, considering the reports he gets after the fights Kirk’s gotten into since he joined Starfleet. He better make sure the culprits don’t get away with it, and that if anyone else has been affected that they get the aid they need.
Jim’s head flops forward as if it’s been cut from its strings. Chris supports it with one hand, looking for signs of what’s wrong in the kid’s face. He’s picked up a few things over the years. James frowns, looking a little confused. “Didn’ occur to me, I guess,” he mutters. “I don’t feel so good.”
“I’m going to tell Archer, and then you and I are taking a trip to visit Phil. Don’t go anywhere.” It’d be good if no one else gets like this, and if the culprits are still here they should be caught. On the other hand, Jim’s probably having an allergy attack.
Pike grabs the allergy hypo and jams it in the kid’s neck. Thank the stars that he’s started carrying those around with him every time he goes to see his problem recruit.
“Ow,” Jim mutters sleepily. “I like Phil. He’s great. Remind me to tell him what’s up.”
He’s quick as he can possibly be. When he comes back, the kid is still awake, but he looks a little lost, like he’s in shock.
“Stay with me, Jim. I need you to keep being a pain in my ass, because finding a replacement at this point is going to be really difficult.” If he can talk and be the distraction, as he mostly carries the cadet.
He coughs and croaks, “D’you, you know, mean that physically?”
“Don’t you ever stop?” Chris asks, incredulous, and gets a lopsided grin in return.
“Shouldn’t be talking.” That voice is definitely hoarse. “Usually it’s not this bad. Flirt when at a loss or comfortable. Game. Seeing how far I have to go to get a reaction.”
Christopher practically runs, dragging the cadet along.
Chapter 5: Trust Issues
Summary:
Pike and Boyce have a stern talk with Jim about his lone wolf heroics putting him in danger again...
Notes:
Warning: aftermath of being drugged, relatively light and mostly concentrating on the families of choice but again warning for more informed reading choice
Chapter Text
“I don’t regret it,” are Jim’s first words once he wakes, and the thought briefly crosses Pike’s mind that that could probably be put on Kirk’s tombstone before he thinks about that and shivers. “I don’t know who exactly did it, only that it didn’t taste right. Did anyone else…?”
“No, but you’re an fool. You taste the slightest change in taste, you report it, we deal with it.” Pike’s stern.
“I vaguely remember you mentioning that,” Jim yawns, and Chris steps forward, deliberately invading the kid’s space.
“I’m not just saying it. You’re a bright kid. You need to stop refusing to learn lessons. If they refuse to listen to you you escalate. But, Jim, if you can’t work within the system, can’t be the Captain I know you could be, I’m going to have to put my recommendation in for a ground assignment or something less than Captain. I’m not going to stand by and know I got your reckless self killed because I was too worried about hurting your feelings.” He’s been too nice so far, too indulgent.
Jim’s jaw clenches, and for the longest time he doesn’t say anything. “As Captain, I’ll have to trust in general, won’t I? Crew and Starfleet Command alike.” He sighs. “The problem is that most of the teachers all are trying to teach me in a way I don’t learn.” He grins, lopsided, but the diamond-hard look in his eyes is still there. “That’s why you’re awesome.”
“Well, I’m not convinced you’ve learned the lesson yet,” Pike says cautiously, and Jim shakes his head emphatically.
“Thing is, you explain why. All I need is a good reasonable explanation, but most of the time no one wants to explain. Their only justification is ‘because’ and that’s…that’s the argument of a five-year old.” He’s back to being frustrated again. Fair enough.
“Or bad parents,” Pike agrees, and they both shiver a little. “So, everything you were saying about a romantic relationship,” he continues, because it’s better to get off that topic as fast as he can.
“Oh, god, I was saying those things out loud, wasn’t I?” Jim groans. “I don’t even know why I was telling you. You’ve got better things to do than worry about my personal problems.”
“Chris wasn’t lying when he mentioned that he was a nosy bastard—yes, he told me about that—and I really don’t have better things to do,” Phil corrects. “Though we’ve only got ten minutes to gossip like we’re all yeomen before as doctor I’ll personally kick us all out.”
The kid’s eyes narrow. “You know, for a doctor/barman, you have the weirdest sense of humor.”
“I, in principle, agree with most of what he said,” Chris adds, because the reckless fool needs to know that they’re not making fun of his problems.
“Okay, yeah, I’ve been curious for a while, but I’ve only been able to get even remotely close to that kind of thing with Gaila. Something about being an Orion means she’s a little more immune to my particular brand of charms—and even when I get energy from it, she’s still got energy after, so.” He sighs. “She doesn’t understand monogamous relationships though. A few prize stallions or fillies in the stable, sure. Like, regulars, but sometimes you just want different things, and it makes no sense to limit herself. I can be a little romantic with her, but just being romantic without the possibility of sex is foreign to her and she doesn’t want it. Whereas.”
He frowns at his hands. “You know, I don’t actually know how it feels to be a normal person thinking about these things. I didn’t even think about it too much until recently. But it’s like…okay, sex is important for me, but it’s like eating food, really. Sometimes it’s just eating to stay alive. How it is for me doesn’t actually matter too much, though really good food is nice to have, obviously. I take some pride in making it good for my partner, because that’s just a basic courtesy. But those things like. You know, just holding hands or kissing or just being coupley, those are things I’ve not really done all that much.”
Chris glances at Phil, who looks intrigued. “This is fascinating.” He shrugs at the looks he gets. “Why do you think I went for CMO on a starship?”
Pike feels his face twist into a scandalized expression. “Because I would get into too much trouble without you, you said?”
“That’s just icing on the cake, Chrissie.” Boyce pats him.
Jim giggles, but there’s almost something wistful about the way he’s staring at Boyce’s hand, and—
Oh. He’s a complete and utter fool. Here’s a kid who’s been starved for attention of any kind. He hasn’t had friends, he hasn’t had family, and his relatively enthusiastic participation in the realm of sexual relationships is a matter of necessity and survival. Maybe someone else would be satisfied with such a shallow existence, but if the way he deals with his actual classes is any indication, the young ‘Kirk’ was as much of an overachiever as Pike had been.
He clears his throat, and the way those blue eyes snap to him, back to a serious expression, is so close to regulation that his parade teachers would probably have puffed up with pride. Or cried at the fact that they’d actually managed to train him. One of the two. “Never say never, kid. If Orions are capable of resisting your charms, then they’re probably not the only ones. It’s a wide, wide universe out there.” By the way Jim bites his lip and his eyes suddenly get suspiciously wet, he’s doing this right. “And if nothing else, well. It’s probably not true of everyone, but my style of command—which you’re doing decently well at emulating? You’re the paterfamilias—you’re the head of a family of at least four hundred people. It can be exhausting, but it’s rewarding, too.”
Jim’s grinning ear to ear by the end of it, and it’s this sort of moment that makes Christopher think he made the right choice.
Phil clears his throat. “Yeah, okay, time’s up. Out, Captain. And you—don’t think you get a pass. If you get yourself killed, who’s going to look after your crew?”
Chris stands and salutes a still grinning cadet and leaves. Phil’s displeasure isn’t enough to put a damper on that smile.
Chapter 6: Reunion
Summary:
Jim gets to meet Number One...
Notes:
Number One is awesome, but she only showed up in (three? including the original?) episodes, so I'm not one hundred percent sure on characterization.
Chapter Text
Of course, the second he sees Number One again, she gets to see him behaving like he’s eight years old again. Because of course Jim has this goofy grin on his face the moment he sees her and recognizes her, and of course Pike can’t let that stand, so the next thing he knows the two of them are scuffling like neither one of them has matured. Ever.
“Do I have to separate you two?” she asks, and he glances over to see one raised eyebrow, and instantly feels completely sheepish.
It’s then he realizes that the kid must have some sort of empathic thing going on, because the shame of letting her see him like that isn’t showing on his face, and there is no other reason why the kid would suddenly pull himself together like that. “I’m trying to keep him young and remind him he doesn’t need to join the admiralty and become an emotionless cyborg like the rest of them,” he explains, holding out a hand respectfully.
That gets a twitch of her mouth, so it’s something. “You really need to meet Admiral Archer. And you, Christopher…you’re in trouble for letting Phil be my sole source of information.”
Chris gulps. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry, ma’am.” You tick Number One off at your peril.
Jim leans in. “I like her,” he confides in a stage whisper.
“You’ll live longer that way,” she agrees, and they shiver in unison.
Chapter 7: Counter Instincts
Summary:
Jim's got a problem...
Notes:
some of these people references I haven't even seen yet, just from stuff I've read (importing note: no longer true); STID has a lot of issues but the music isn't actually that bad
Chapter Text
At some point during his life, Jim realizes that he’s kind of similar to an abused dog. Give him kindness, and he’ll slobber all over you. Not—quite—literally, but his natural instinct is to just kiss anyone he feels trust towards. It’ll take a while to get there, but once you’re there, you’re absolutely safe.
Of course, this ironically means that Jim Kirk finds his home not in a place (at least, not until the Enterprise) but in people. It’s also why he wanders, lost, until the second time Pike finds him and convinces him that some members of Starfleet can, in fact, be trusted. Of course, when he’s actually comfortable, he has a habit of blurting things out without thinking. Like many of the things in his life, he learned kissing others wasn’t normal when the teachers started finding it creepy instead of adorable. He’d learned to use touch instead, and that was somewhat acceptable which was good enough.
Sometimes, people take it the wrong way. He’s generally friendly, loves learning about new people and lives different than his own, and his default with dealing with new people (assuming they haven’t made a bad first impression) or, really, with dealing with anyone he doesn’t dislike, is flirting. So many people think he’s trying to get sex, and it’s not much worth trying to argue, given that he still needs to not starve, and of course, people tend to get weird when they think you’re just playing around with them, rather than being serious, so he just kind of plays along instead.
He has a bit of a problem, though. He tends to be addictive to others. It’s easier to deal with when it’s strangers he’ll never see again, and much more difficult at the Academy when he’ll be stuck with these people for a while. The jealousy and pettiness blindsides him in a way few things (Tarsus, Frank) have in his life. He knows that he’s giving Pike so much more work dealing with disgruntled cadets and he is genuinely sorry, but there’s not much he can do other than go cold turkey, which will, eventually, kill him.
To his surprise, Pike doesn’t yell at him. Of course, Boyce argues that’s clearly because it’s not something he can control, which isn’t exactly a concept he understands. No one’s ever told him that before. He doesn’t exactly say that out loud, but the doctor seems to understand that anyway and is bothered by the idea. Which, someone being worried on his behalf is kind of new, too, not that he’s complaining.
Between those two and Ruth, with an old family name, he isn’t without his defenders. Ruth had turned him down gently but firmly (one of the few who had), but definitely seemed interested in a friendship, which was a tradeoff he certainly didn’t mind. Among other things, she’d argued with someone calling him a ‘womanizer’—‘that’s a very twentieth century term and a bit inaccurate for someone who’s very clearly pansexual’, which was kind of hilarious.
Things calm down a little by the second year, when his reputation’s been firmly established. No matter how much people might want more, the fact that he turns everyone down for a second go-round gives people more realistic expectations. He’d mentioned his desire for longer-term relationships to Pike, and he’s hasn’t changed his mind, but circumstances haven’t changed, either.
Janice was the first he’d tried to have a longer relationship with, and she quickly lost interest in everything but having sex with him, which he’d noticed had started killing her. She had less and less energy and started to look sick, so he’d had to sneak out during the night. That was before Starfleet. He might mention it to Pike, sometime, but it’s not exactly something he’s proud of.
Gaila, it turns out, is perhaps the closest thing to an ideal mate he can get. He wants to see what being romantic would be like, but it weirds her out a little. She appreciates the sex, she appreciates being friends, but gifts or whatever make her uncomfortable, and more than anything else he doesn’t want to do that to any of his partners.
He’s sitting in the bar flirting when he feels something he doesn’t recognize. It feels like a ghostly touch on his bottom, but it also makes his brain…itchy?
“Buy you a drink?” He glances over, and a grey-eyed brunet is smiling at him in a way he recognizes. Still, he hesitates.
“Gary Mitchell,” the man explains, holding out a hand. “Starfleet Intelligence. I’d like to try for a friendship first.”
He relaxes a little and smiles. “You got it.”