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A governor, a judge, and an alderman walked into a bar. With grim faces, they nodded to the bartender and stepped into the private room in back.

“Well?” said the judge, once they were all seated.

“Hang on,” the governor said, “we’re not drunk enough for this yet.” A server entered the room and before she’d even set down their drinks, the governor had instructed her to come back immediately with a second round, all doubles.

“That bad, is it?” The alderman laughed nervously.

The governor let out a deep sigh and then removed a stapled packet of papers from his briefcase. “Today was the last day for applications.”

“Stop beating around the bush, Jimmy!” the judge snapped. “We all know that.” A pause. “He’s back again, isn’t he?”

“See for yourself,” the governor said, and pushed the resume neatly forward into the center of their table.

All three of them leaned over to read the title…

Miles Edgeworth, Esq.
Platinstrasse 1, Köln Nordrhein-Westfalen 50671^[1]
[email protected]
949-555-8783^[2] (US)
+49-221-555-3343^[3] (Germany)

…And winced.

“Oh no, not again,” the judge groaned.

“It was hard enough trying to justify why we passed him over as Chief Prosecutor last time!” The alderman started to panic. “What are we going to do now?”

“Oh, just you wait.” The governor downed his whole drink in one gulp. “It gets worse…”

SUMMARY

Highly-successful and nationally/internationally-renowned veteran prosecutor in criminal trial law. Legal professor and lecturer with years of research dedicated to legal ethics, and prosecutorial ethics in particular. Pillar of truth and justice, impervious to bribery, corruption, blackmail, or other malfeasance. Previous experience in role of Chief Prosecutor, including: restoring the public image of a Prosecutor’s Office previously tainted by corruption charges, and cleaning out corrupt political, legal, and criminal agents within a jurisdiction’s judicial system. Firm believer in logic and reasoning.

Also: Surely, the only viable candidate still willing to apply for this job.

A long, pregnant pause followed.

“So, uh, just how many other applications did we get?” asked the judge nervously.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to,” the governor grumbled.

“When he says ‘other malfeasance’,” the alderman chimed in, “he doesn’t mean all other malfeasance, right? He must allow a little malfeasance, at least!”

The governor gave him an incredulous look. “Have you ever met Miles Edgeworth?” he demanded.

The alderman’s shoulders crumpled in defeat. Fortunately, their next round of drinks had just arrived, and he downed his cold. “Another,” he ordered, but the server had apparently already anticipated this and set down the second order on her other tray there and then. And also the bottles.

“Well…” the judge began hopefully, “it can’t be worse than last time, can it?”

They all returned to reading.

SPECIALTIES

· Criminal Prosecution · Legal Ethics · Anti-Corruption

· Anti-Bribery · Jurisdictional Law · Organized-Crime Prosecution

· Murder Investigations · Legal Rhetoric · Logic[4]

“I can’t vote for this,” the judge sighed. “If we appoint Edgeworth, I have to flee for the Caymans now. I’m not all but throwing myself in jail!”

“He actually called out corruption and bribery?” The alderman worried the rim of his glass. “Is he actually advertising that as soon as we hire him, he’s going to have us all arrested?”

“I repeat,” the governor said through clenched teeth: “Have. You. Met. Miles. Edgeworth?”

All three of them slumped forward onto the table. Because if there was any man in all the world who would kick off a new job by prosecuting all his corrupt bosses, it was definitely Miles Edgeworth.

“Well,” the judge began, “maybe with all the mess around the Dark Age of the Law, that’ll give us just long enough to get our affairs in order and flee the country before he can indict us?”

The governor solemnly shook his head and pointed to the next section:

EXPERIENCE

Special Prosecutor, Various State and Federal Jurisdictions (2024 – Present)

Notable trials:

• US v Los Tokyo Police Department (2026). Charges: Negligent homicide, unlawful arrest, police misconduct, evidence tampering, crime-scene tampering. Sentence: Guilty, 15 years for both detectives and all 3 officers charged.
• State of Japanifornia (US) v Kristoph Gavin (2026, I)^[5]. Charges: Murder, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, 20 years imprisonment (later superseded by sentence in State v Kristoph Gavin (2026, II)^[6]).
• State of Japanifornia (US) v The Office of Chance Heller^[7] (2026). Charges: Bribery, corruption, tax evasion, embezzlement. Sentence: 8 years imprisonment for Mayor, 2 years imprisonment for 2 indicted co-conspirators in Mayor’s Office.
• US v Japanifornia Prosecutor’s Office (2025, II). Charges: Bribery, corruption, witness tampering, suborning perjury, perverting the course of justice. Sentence: Removal from office of (new!)^[8] Chief Prosecutor, 2 years imprisonment for 1 co-indicted district prosecutor and 2 legal clerks.
• US v Japanifornia Prosecutor’s Office (2025, I). Charges: Bribery, corruption, witness tampering, suborning perjury, evidence tampering, falsifying evidence, perverting the course of justice. Sentence: 3 years imprisonment for Chief Prosecutor, 2 years imprisonment for 2 co-indicted district prosecutors.
• US v Japanifornia Bar Association (2024). Charges: Bribery, graft, corruption, suborning perjury. Sentence: Removal from office for all 7 indicted defendants, 2 years imprisonment for 4 of the 7 indicted defendants.^[9]
• US v City of East Los Tokyo (2024). Charges: Political corruption, bribery, misappropriation of public funds, embezzlement, tax fraud, graft, evidence tampering, perjury. Sentence: 15 years imprisonment for 3 indicted defendants.

“‘Various state and federal jurisdictions’, my ass!” said the alderman. “Just look at that! He’s coming for us with laser focus!”

“Why us?” despaired the judge. “What did we ever do?”

The governor and the alderman blinked at him incredulously.

“I mean, aside from accepting all that bribe money, and installing all our cronies in positions of authority over the last decade, and rigging all those trial outcomes to further our own wealth and power,” the judge readily conceded. “But there must be hundreds of places just like this. Why did he have to pick our jurisdiction to clean up?”

The governor and the alderman shook their heads in mute despair and read on.

Associate Professor of Law, Universität zu Köln (2024 – Present)

• Lecture in:
  • Prosecutorial ethics
  • Legal ethics
  • Criminal prosecution
  • Evidence law
  • Jurisdictional law
• Mentor students on university’s Criminal Prosecution track.

“Oh god, he’s rigging the next generation of prosecutors too,” the governor despaired, head in his hands. “Can you imagine that? A whole generation of honest prosecutors?”

“Were you there for Chance’s trial?” the alderman demanded. “Edgworth flew his whole Trial Law class all the way over from Germany to watch it.”

“Poor Chance,” the judge said ruefully, “he always threw the best parties…”

“How are we even supposed to throw good parties anymore, without the bribes and embezzlement?” the alderman asked.

“We’re not,” the governor said glumly. “No more parties. Ever.”

The judge, as always prone to go a bit maudlin with too much drink, sniffed piteously into his whisky.

Interim Chief Prosecutor, State of Connecticutta (2023 – 2024)^[10]

Notable achievements:

• Oversaw arrest and successful prosecution of 29 members of the Felono^[11] crime family, including gang leaders.
• Oversaw arrest and successful prosecution of 38 members of the Jack Uza^[12] crime family, including gang leaders.
• Orchestrated task-force for the successful shut-down of 3 smuggling ports and arrest and conviction of over 50 members of smuggling ring.
• Oversaw the prosecution of 132 homicide cases, 1256 rape cases, 3,458 robbery cases, and 5,079 aggravated-assault cases.
• Implemented investigative improvements in police force and prosecutor’s office that resulted in 73% increase in arrests for violent offenses.
• Implemented an internal-review system for police investigations to independently verify the integrity of investigations and ensure suspects were only brought to trial on definitive, untampered evidence. Changes resulted in an 86% reduction in successful appeals on convictions.
• After successful prosecution of the previous Chief Prosecutor in this jurisdiction, implemented an internal investigation of all prosecutorial, judicial, and police staff, which resulted in corruption and bribery charges against: 7 prosecutors (all convicted), 12 members of judicial staff (11 convicted), 28 police officers (26 convicted) and an additional 2 police instructors (both convicted), and the removal of 2 aldermen, 3 mayors, and 1 state senator from office.
• Replaced existing hiring policies and training regimens for both prosecutor’s office and police force, in order to reduce corruption in law-enforcement officials going forward. Placed specific regulations against ‘nepotism’ in hiring, including requiring known associates of hiring candidates to recuse themselves during all hiring and promotional processes.
• Removed graft from department budgets, resulting in a 21% reduction in costs.

“Oh my god, that smug bastard,” the alderman groaned. “I mean, it starts off all right: sure, arrest some mobsters and murderers. No harm in that. But then…”

“It’s like a blueprint for what he’s going to do for us,” the judge agreed. “I’ve had him in trial before. No way he didn’t write it like that on purpose. Build up a false sense of security, and then bam! One-two-three-punch!”

“He definitely wrote it that way on purpose,” the governor agreed. “He’s taunting us.”

“But what else can we do?” the alderman asked. “If we appoint another one of our guys, Edgeworth will just take him to federal court on corruption like the last three…”

“…And no honest prosecutor is going to take this job, not after the mess this department has turned into,” the judge agreed.

“No sane honest prosecutor,” the governor reminded them, and pointed – remorselessly – further down the resume still:

Special Prosecutor, Various State and Federal Jurisdictions (2019 – 2023)

Notable trials:

• State of Connecticutta (US) v Connie Seller^[13] (2023). Charges: Murder (multiple counts), blackmail, bribery, prosecutorial misconduct, crime-scene tampering, evidence tampering, perverting the course of justice, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• Republic of Borginia v Sniki Delure^[14] (2023). Charges: Grand larceny, criminal conspiracy, smuggling, racketeering, selling stolen goods. Sentence: Guilty, 15 years imprisonment.
• Crown of Wengland^[15] v Amad Bomber^[16] (2022). Charges: Homicide (multiple counts), attempted homicide (multiple counts), arson, destruction of public infrastructure. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• State of Nepalaska^[17] v Verity Killian^[18] (2022). Charges: Contracting murder (multiple counts), prosecutorial misconduct, receiving bribes, evidence tampering, witness tampering, suborning perjury, perverting the course of justice. Sentence: Guilty, 30 years imprisonment.
• Crown of Wengland v Wayne Kerr^[19] (2022). Charges: Political corruption, bribery, blackmail, witness tampering, evidence tampering, interfering with active investigations, perverting the course of justice. Sentence: Guilty, 12 years imprisonment.
• Crown of Wengland v Jerry Rigger^[20] (2021). Charges: Prosecutorial misconduct, witness tampering, evidence tampering, jury tampering, intimidation. Sentence: Guilty, 7 years imprisonment.
• State of Texastan^[21] (US) v Wylie Crook^[22] (2020). Charges: Prosecutorial misconduct, political corruption, receiving bribes, perverting the course of justice. Sentence: Guilty, 10 years imprisonment.
• Crown of Wengland v Gill Tea^[23] (2020). Charges: Manslaughter (multiple counts), human trafficking, smuggling, selling stolen goods, violation of international treaty waters. Sentence: Guilty, 30 years imprisonment.
• Principality of Cohdopia v Malus Alba^[24] (2020). Charges: Murder, political corruption, accepting bribes, smuggling, racketeering. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• Republic of Zheng Fa v Blaise DeBeste & Patricia Roland (2019).^[25] Charges: Regicide. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment (superseded by higher sentences in another jurisdiction).

“We’re so stupid; we should’ve seen it coming,” the judge said. “Those years we thought we were in the clear because Righteous Boy was abroad, but just look at that: building up his reputation, building up his anti-corruption credentials, getting ready to turn it all back home…”

“Nah, no way.” The alderman let out an incredulous chuckle. “I mean, Edgeworth’s smart and scary, sure. But no one plans that far ahead.^[26] We just drew the short straw.”

Silence echoed throughout the back room for one perfect moment.

“…Right?” the alderman asked nervously.

“I don’t know,” the governor. “When you look at where he was coming from…”

High Prosecutor, State of Japanifornia (2017 – 2019)

Notable trials:

• State v Blaise DeBeste (2019). Charges: Murder, assassination, kidnapping^[27], assault, arson, prosecutorial misconduct, evidence theft, evidence tampering, grand larceny, perverting the course of justice, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.
• State v Dane Gustavia (2019). Charges: Murder, crime-scene tampering, evidence tampering, perverting the course of justice, interfering with a police investigation, fleeing jurisdiction. Sentence: Guilty, 20 years imprisonment.^[28]
• Principality of Cohdopia v Quercus Alba (2019) (as Special Prosecutor & co-counsel w. F. von Karma^[29]). Charges: Murder (multiple counts), smuggling, criminal conspiracy, racketeering, arson, perverting the course of justice, evidence tampering, crime-scene tampering, witness tampering, interfering with a police investigation. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• State v Jacques Portsman (2019). Charges: Murder, smuggling, criminal conspiracy, prosecutorial misconduct, evidence theft, evidence tampering, crime-scene tampering, interfering with a police investigation. Sentence: Guilty, 25 years imprisonment.
• State v Ernest Amano (2019). Charges: Murder, smuggling, racketeering, criminal conspiracy, evidence tampering, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, 30 years imprisonment.
• State v Hittie Hendron^[30] (2018). Charges: Murder, vehicular manslaughter (multiple counts). Sentence: Guilty, 20 years imprisonment.
• State v Bill Yonare^[31] (2018). Charges: Extortion, bribery, bribery of public officials, attempted bribery. Sentence: Guilty, 20 years imprisonment.
• State v Matt Engarde (2018). Charges: Contracting murder, accessory to kidnapping, accessory to blackmail. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• State v Lana Skye (2017). Charges: Accessory to murder, aiding and abetting, evidence tampering, falsifying evidence. Sentence: Guilty, pled to 8 years^[32] in exchange for testifying in:
  • State v Damon Gant^[33] (2017). Charges: Murder (multiple counts), assault, police misconduct, blackmail, bribery, corruption, witness tampering, evidence tampering, falsifying evidence, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.

“It is weird when you think of it like that,” the alderman said thoughtfully. “I mean, at the time it just seemed like he’d gone international to further his career. That made sense. But, in retrospect, it seems like instead he built up his international career in order to come back here and bring down the corruption in this state. I… I just don’t get it.”

“Yeah,” the judge said. “What does he even get out of it? This job has to be a huge pay-cut from what he’s getting from that sweet university gig, plus the feds, plus Interpol.”

“I hear the trials of the last three Chief Prosecutors?” the governor said. “He took them all pro bono.”

“That’s nuts!” the alderman insisted.

“He’s like a demon, hell bent on ruining our gravy train.” The judge moaned morosely into his glass.

“A demon prosecutor,” the governor agreed. “Haven’t heard those words in a long time. But back then I thought that meant he was on our side, y’know?”

Prosecutor, State of Japanifornia (2012 – 2016)

Notable trials:

• State v Yanni Yogi^[34] (2016). Charges: Murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, criminal conspiracy, crime-scene tampering, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• State v Manfred von Karma (2016). Charges: Murder (2 counts)^[35], attempted murder^[36], conspiracy to commit murder, assault (2 counts)^[37], prosecutorial misconduct, witness tampering, evidence tampering, falsifying evidence. Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.
• State v Ivanna Steel^[38] (2016). Charges: Murder, assault, burglary. Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.
• State v Redd White (2016). Charges: Murder, blackmail, bribery, witness tampering, interfering with a police investigation, perjury. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• State v Cassie Nostra^[39] (2016). Charges: Murder, kidnapping, extortion, racketeering, money laundering. Sentence: Guilty, 50 years imprisonment.
• State v Pell Ferrer^[40] (2015). Charges: Embezzlement, tax fraud, tax evasion, interfering with a police investigation, withholding evidence. Sentence: Guilty, 25 years imprisonment, concurrent sentences.
• State v Joe Darke (2015). Charges: Murder (multiple serial counts). Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.
• State v Sirhan Dogen (2013). Charges: Contract murder (multiple counts). Sentence: Guilty, pled down to lifetime imprisonment in exchange for testifying in:
  • State v Vick Tem^[41] (2013). Charges: Contracting murder. Sentence: Guilty, 20 years imprisonment.
  • State v Mab Baus^[42] (2014). Charges: Contracting multiple murders. Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.
  • State v Kopki Lehr^[43] (2014). Charges: Contracting murder of law-enforcement official. Sentence: Guilty, death penalty.
• State v Vi Lynn^[44] (2013). Charges: Human trafficking, smuggling. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.
• State v Scott Flaugh^[45] (2013). Charges: Murder, arson, armed robbery. Sentence: Guilty, lifetime imprisonment.

“Yeah,” the alderman agreed. “Edgeworth was stuffy back then, a little too self-righteous. But he didn’t seem like he would become a problem.”

“Like old von Karma.” The judge nodded. “Would never have wanted to get on the man’s bad side, but he never paid any mind to those on the side of law and order. He was always happy enough to hunt down whatever murder cases we tossed his way. Didn’t ask questions.”

“I wonder what happened?” the governor asked wistfully.

NOTABLE PUBLICATIONS

• “A Counterargument for: ‘On the Case for Implementing a Jurist System in Japanifornia.’ When Wright is Right, but for the Wrong Reasons.”^[46] Japanifornia Law Review 132:1 (2026).
• The International Adoption of Jurist Systems: A History of Worldwide Legislative, Constitutional, and Judicial Approaches to Juries. In Jurist Ethics (ed. Wright)^[47]. Ivy University Press (2025).
• Fighting Corruption: Counteracting the Criminal Use of Blackmail. (Co-author with F. von Karma, L. Skye^[48], and S. DeBeste). US Bar Association Press (2024).
• “Murder for Hire: The Art of Plea-Bargaining in Contract-Killing Cases and the Ethical Ramifications Thereof.” Journal of US Prosecutors 157 (2023).
• Prosecutorial Ethics. University of Oxbridge Press. 1^st Edition (2022), 2^nd Edition (2023), 3^rd Edition (2026).^[49]
• “The Trojan Horse: How to Expose a Corrupt Judicial Agency from within.”^[50] Journal of Legal Ethics 52 (2020).
• Logic Chess: A Systematic Technique for Using (and Not-Using) Rhetoric in Direct Examinations. In Modern Techniques for Criminal Investigation (eds. Lawson & Greene). US Bar Association Press. 1^st Edition (2017), 2^nd Edition (2021), 3^rd Edition (2023), 4^th Edition (2026).
• “State Your Name and Occupation: Prosecuting Trials with Difficult Witnesses.”^[51] Japanifornia Law Review 122:4 (2016).
• “Eureka! Tips and Tricks for Investigating Complex Murder Scenes.” Journal of US Prosecutors 149 (2015).

“There’s got to be something we can dig up against him,” the judge insisted. “Those ‘Demon Prosecutor’ rumors kept his swell head down enough back in the day.”

“That was before he got out from under our thumb,” the alderman said. “Now, Interpol will go to bat for him. The Feds will go to bat for him. Multiple law schools will go to bat him. Not to mention all the other states he’s worked in. Everyone loves the guy…or, I mean, no one loves the guy^[52], but everyone loves his work.”

“Hey, all the prosecutors he’s convicted don’t,” the judge pointed out drunkenly.

“Oh yeah? Say that to Chief Prosecutor Skye: she co-wrote a book with him! Not to mention old von Karma’s daughter…”

“…And Blaise DeBeste’s son,” the governor agreed.

“Not to mention,” the alderman insisted ruthlessly, “Edgeworth literally wrote the textbook on prosecutorial ethics.”

“…Fuck,” said the judge, eloquently.

“Where did we go so wrong?” the governor wondered.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” the alderman said, and downed another drink all the same.

“What do we do?” asked the judge.

CHAIRS, MEMBERSHIPS, AND ADVOCACY WORK

• US Prosecutorial Ethics Committee, Chair
• International Legal Ethics Foundation, Advisor
• Japanifornia Bar-Exam Panel, Senior Member
• Japanifornia Prosecutorial Investigation Committee, Non-Voting Member^[53]
• US Court of Appeals, Pro-Bono Advocate^[54]
• Japanifornia Jurist-System Advocacy Committee, Vice-President^[55]
• Japanifornia Bar-Reinstatement Committee, Pro-Bono Plaintiff’s Attorney^[56]
• The National LGBT+ Bar Association, Board Member^[57]

“There’s no way we can argue our own candidate is more qualified this time,” the governor said. “I can’t even think of a more qualified candidate, let alone one willing to take this shit job.”

“It wasn’t like this back in the day, y’know.” The alderman had just put back another drink and was starting to slur his words now. “Back in my grandpappy’s day, all we’d hafta do is say: ‘looksee, that Edgeworth’s a little light in the loafers, see?’ And then that smug asshole’d be the one behind bars insteada us.” The alderman sighed wistfully. “Those were the good old days…”

“Yeah, well, that’s not going to do shit for us now, is it?” the governor retorted. “Hell, I’ll probably get a poll bump for the diversity hire. Either way, I’m screwed: Heads, we hire Edgeworth and he puts me away for life; tails, we don’t hire Edgeworth, my polls tank, my opponent gets elected, she hires Edgeworth, and he still puts me away for life.”

“Oh fuck, I didn’t even think about that,” the alderman said. “Me too. I’m dead either way. Barry, you’re the only one who has a chance: you might make it past the next election…”

The judge snorted incredulously. “If you think Edgeworth’s waiting until after the election to indict me on what’s he been building for the last ten years, then I’ve got a bridge I’d like to sell you.”

“Oh…” the governor said.

“Right,” said the alderman.

“Yeah,” said the judge.

EDUCATION

Doctor of Law, With Honour and Distinction, University of Oxbridge^[58], 2021

Masters of Law, Hale University^[59], 2012

Bachelors of Law, Summa cum laude, Rechtsordnung Universität^[60], 2009

“So, gentlemen,” the governor concluded, “I think that about sums it up. I present to you: our next Chief Prosecutor. Any objections?”

“No,” said the judge, phone out, already booking his flight. “Wait, does that resume say? Edgeworth still doesn’t have any kind of jurisdiction in the Caymans, right?”

“None from me,” said the alderman. “Say, do you think if I sold off the yacht and move some accounts out of Switzerland and into your bank instead, Barry, that maybe I could…?”

“No,” the judge scowled at him.

The alderman ran a hand down his sweaty brow. “Right…uh… Ima take off early, okay? Gotta couple skeletons I’d like to try burying before…y’know?”

It was probably telling that no one bothered to ask whether the skeletons were literal or metaphoric. At this point, it hardly mattered.

“Ready, set, go!” the governor agreed. “By my calculations, you’ve got 13 hours before Edgeworth comes crashing on your doors—”

With a resigned sigh, the governor opened his laptop on the table, clicked his email, and slowly – and more soberly than he would’ve liked – began to type:

Dear Prosecutor Edgeworth,

The State of Japanifornia is pleased to offer you the position of Chief Prosecutor, effective immediately upon your acceptance of this offer. Please contact with the Governor’s Office for further details and State of Japanifornia Human Resources & Legal Department for contract details.

Sincerely,

The Office of the Governor of the State of Japanifornia

“—Unless, of course,” the governor added a chuckle, “Edgeworth booked a private jet the moment he sent in his application.” A second laugh, lighter and brighter this time. “He did that, he could be out there with half of Interpol right now, ready to hand us warrants all neat and pretty.”

He hit the send button.

And then, with a third, more raucous, almost triumphant laugh, added: “But, come on, I mean, what are the odds of that?”^[61]

Notes

¹ Platinstrasse 1, Köln Nordrhein-Westfalen 50671: The Von Karma Manor is at 1 Platinum Street because Manfred's #1!^{[return to text]}

² 949-555-8783: Coincidentally, 8783 spells 'TRUE', hmm…^{[return to text]}

³ +49-221-555-3343: Also coincidentally, 3343 spells 'EDGE', hmm…^{[return to text]}

⁴ “Logic”: How to put 'not an idiot' on your resume ^{[return to text]}

⁵ State of Japanifornia (US) v Kristoph Gavin (2026, I): That is, Gavin's FIRST trial, for murdering Zak Gramarye and framing Phoenix Wright. As soon as Edgeworth heard THAT was up for trial, he whisked over from Germany almost faster than Larry could say 'Nick's fallen off a bridge and is dying!' again.^{[return to text]}

⁶ State v Kristoph Gavin (2026, II): THIS would be Gavin's second trial, for poisoning Drew Misham and framing Phoenix Wright for evidence-forging. Not a good year for poor Kristoph…^{[return to text]}

⁷ Chance Heller: 'Chancellor' is a fine name for a mayor.^{[return to text]}

⁸ “Removal from office of (new!) Chief Prosecutor”: Even Edgeworth cannot believe how many corrupt Chief Prosecutors Japanifornia has had at this point.^{[return to text]}

⁹ “Removal from office for all 7 indicted defendants, 2 years imprisonment for 4 of the 7 indicted defendants”: No way would Edgeworth let those corrupt Bar Association members go free that Kristoph ordered to disbar Phoenix.^{[return to text]}

¹⁰ State of Connecticutta: All states in the USA (United States of Asia), like Japanifornia, have a name that is half some place in the US and half somewhere in Asia. Hopefully, Connecticut and Calcutta do not have the same legal problems their portmanteau does.^{[return to text]}

¹¹ Felono crime family: All crime families should be named 'Felon' for easy identification.^{[return to text]}

¹² Jack Uza crime family: …Or, alternatively, 'Yakuza'.^{[return to text]}

¹³ Connie Seller: 'Counsellor' should have stuck with her namesake.^{[return to text]}

¹⁴ Sniki Delure: 'Sneaky Dealer': what it says on the box.^{[return to text]}

¹⁵ Crown of Wengland: European countries, like Borginia, must have names that sound vaguely like real European countries but not quite right. Note that Wengland is not to be confused with the strange fictional country called 'England' in the GAA games; that would just be silly.^{[return to text]}

¹⁶ Amad Bomber: Sometimes one has to wonder if the parents in the AA games are intentionally dooming their children. Amad had a younger brother too, who went on to higher education so everyone called him 'Uni'. Good old Uni Bomber somehow also ended up with a tragic criminal fate. Simply baffling.^{[return to text]}

¹⁷ State of Nepalaska: Known for its high, snowy mountains.^{[return to text]}

¹⁸ Verity Killian was Truly Killin'!^{[return to text]}

¹⁹ Wayne Kerr: When you think about it, it's incredible that more British MPs aren't named 'Wanker'.^{[return to text]}

²⁰ Jerry Rigger: Good old 'Jury Rigger' did what he was born to do!^{[return to text]}

²¹ State of Texastan: A former CSR (Confederate Socialist Republic). You know, like Arkansastan. (Kansastan and Illinoistan, contrary to their names, were never part of the UCSR.)^{[return to text]}

²² Wylie Crook: Wily Crook was not as wily as he hoped, it seems.^{[return to text]}

²³ Gill Tea: With a name like 'Guilty', the verdict was really just a technicality. Also, you can tell he is Wenglish because his last name is Tea. Definitely a clue.^{[return to text]}

²⁴ Malus Alba: The bad apple didn't fall far from the (oak) tree. Also, I have no idea why the Latin words for 'bad' and 'apple tree' are the same, other than to allow me to make this one awful pun 2000 years later.^{[return to text]}

²⁵ Republic of Zheng Fa v Blaise DeBeste & Patricia Roland (2019): My explanation for why Edgeworth was abroad during Phoenix's disbarment: Lang wanted closure back home and Edgeworth secretly wanted to get to put regicide on his resume because he's a dork like that.^{[return to text]}

²⁶ “I mean, Edgeworth’s smart and scary, sure. But no one plans that far ahead.” Yeah, no one would arrange their entire legal career for 6 years solely to get one particular Chief Prosecutor's job, so that they could indict the whole corrupt system that allowed a certain innocent defense attorney to be disbarred. Just like no one would go to law school solely to get on the defense bench so that they could meet someone they'd lost contact with 15 years ago. I mean, anyone who would do either of those things would have to be crazy!^{[return to text]}

²⁷ “Blaise DeBeste. Charges: kidnapping”: Your own son. By mistake. You suck, Blaise! ^{[return to text]}

²⁸ “Dane Gustavia. Sentence: Guilty, 20 years imprisonment”: The sad thing is, he was being blackmailed and his son was kidnapped so there were mitigating circumstances. If he hadn't covered up and framed Masters, he probably would've gotten a lighter sentence…except that Manfred von Karma was the prosecutor, so maybe not. Still, would've saved a whole lot of heartache!^{[return to text]}

²⁹ “Special Prosecutor & co-counsel w. F. von Karma”: This collaboration was a personal experiment. It did not go well. It will not be repeated nor ever spoken of again. But, whoa boy, a defendant has never been convicted so hard!^{[return to text]}

³⁰ Hittie Hendron: Miss Hit-And-Run: Exactly as advertised.^{[return to text]}

³¹ Bill Yonare: Typical Billionaire thinks he can bribe his way out of anything.^{[return to text]}

³² “Lana Skye, pled to 8 years”: Someone must have done the plea bargain on this clusterfuck, and by default it fell to Edgeworth. They probably did this the same day Lana was acquitted of murder.^{[return to text]}

³³ State v Damon Gant: "…And THEN Edgeworth had to make sure that there wasn't a corrupt prosecutor on THIS case. Knowing the speed of the Japanifornia legal system, this trial also happened on the same day. No wonder Edgeworth left that note and fled the same evening.^{[return to text]}

³⁴ State v Yanni Yogi: In case anyone was hoping Edgeworth got some time to celebrate the day after his acquittal: nope, he had to do this instead. The universe just does not cut him any breaks…^{[return to text]}

³⁵ State v Manfred von Karma: Think about it: the statute of limitations on Gregory Edgeworth's murder was THAT DAY. This means that Manfred must have been tried and convinced the SAME EVENING that Edgeworth was acquitted and released. And who would have been the ONLY prosecutor still at the courthouse to press charges at that time? As if Edgeworth's horrible day couldn't get any worse… (Also, Manfred confessed readily but mercilessly taunted Edgeworth from the stand the whole time. Because of course he did.)^{[return to text]}

³⁶ “Manfred von Karma. Charges: Attempted murder”: …Of Miles Edgeworth, via framing him for murder and getting him the death penalty. Of all the cases Edgeworth has tried, this has to have been the most surreal.^{[return to text]}

³⁷ “Manfred von Karma. Charges: assault (2 counts)”: Justice for Phoenix and Maya!^{[return to text]}

³⁸ Ivanna Steel: Look: if You Wanna Steal, you gotta steal!^{[return to text]}

³⁹ Cassie Nostra: Cosa Nostra, one might suspect…^{[return to text]}

⁴⁰ Pell Ferrer: Good old Pilferer, doing what he loves best.^{[return to text]}

⁴¹ Vick Tem: He had no choice but to hire a hitman! He was a Victim of circumstance! Hence, why he got a more lenient sentence than the others.^{[return to text]}

⁴² Mab Baus: A Mob Boss is just the type to contract multiple murders.^{[return to text]}

⁴³ Kopki Lehr: One guess who Cop Killer wanted bumped off.^{[return to text]}

⁴⁴ Vi Lynn: Villain sure was one.^{[return to text]}

⁴⁵ Scott Flaugh: Never trust a man named Scofflaw.^{[return to text]}

⁴⁶ “A Counterargument for: ‘On the Case for Implementing a Jurist System in Japanifornia.’ When Wright is Right, but for the Wrong Reasons”: Edgeworth would absolutely write a whole article agreeing with Phoenix but objecting to all the flaws in his reasoning. Phoenix was a little turned on by this, not gonna lie.^{[return to text]}

⁴⁷ “In Jurist Ethics (ed. Wright)”:

PHOENIX: “Would you write a chapter for my book? Pretty please?”
EDGEWORTH: “Yes! ♥”^{[return to text]}

⁴⁸ “Fighting Corruption: Counteracting the Criminal Use of Blackmail. (Co-author with…L. Skye)”: I imagine Lana has some excellent insight in how to prevent anyone else from falling into the situation she found herself trapped in.^{[return to text]}

⁴⁹ “Prosecutorial Ethics. University of Oxbridge Press. 1^st Edition (2022), 2^nd Edition (2023), 3^rd Edition (2026)”: Yes, Edgeworth absolutely did take his dissertation, get it published, and then have it turned into a best-selling textbook required in all law schools, with multiple editions. Because that's exactly the kind of smug, superior bastard Edgeworth is. ♥^{[return to text]}

⁵⁰ “The Trojan Horse: How to Expose a Corrupt Judicial Agency from within”: Hmm, it's almost as if something happened around this time that made Edgeworth suddenly very angry at corrupt legal systems. Such great mystery!^{[return to text]}

⁵¹ “State Your Name and Occupation: Prosecuting Trials with Difficult Witnesses”: Edgeworth is absolutely arrogant enough to think he's good at this.^{[return to text]}

⁵² “I mean, no one loves the guy”: PHOENIX: “Objection!”^{[return to text]}

⁵³ Japanifornia Prosecutorial Investigation Committee, Non-Voting Member: Justine Courney runs this now. Edgeworth doesn't want to be involved directly because it would be a conflict of interest, but she asked to him stay on as an advisor.^{[return to text]}

⁵⁴ US Court of Appeals, Pro-Bono Advocate: Ever since Damon Gant, Edgeworth has gone through all his previous convictions and, if he finds suspicious-looking evidence, represents the same people he wrongly convicted on appeal. He and Franziska split Manfred von Karma's previous cases between them, 50/50.^{[return to text]}

⁵⁵ Japanifornia Jurist-System Advocacy Committee, Vice-President:

PHOENIX: “Hey Edgeworth, let's form a club! I can be president, and you can be vice-president!”
EDGEWORTH: “…Okay. ♥”^{[return to text]}

⁵⁶ Japanifornia Bar-Reinstatement Committee, Pro-Bono Plaintiff’s Attorney: Edgeworth actually started doing this to prevent Sebastian DeBeste from losing his badge after the revelations around his false grades came out. Then Edgeworth got hold of all those prosecutorial badges Blaise stole away. Edgeworth and Sebastian have been going systematically through those cases and reinstating the prosecutors Blaise took down for being too honest and getting in his way. Although, not-so-coincidentally, now that it's been proven that Kristoph was the one who forged that evidence, there's another plaintiff who Edgeworth's all but gagging to represent…^{[return to text]}

⁵⁷ The National LGBT+ Bar Association, Board Member: While Edgeworth generally shies away from social advocacy (far too emotional), Franziska finally twisted his arm into agreeing that he made a good role model for the cause. Besides, given Edgeworth's opinions on marriage in the Sprocket case, it can safely be concluded that Japanifornia - with its hybrid Japan/California laws - has not yet legalized same-sex marriage. And Edgeworth just MIGHT have a certain special someone in mind, with whom he'd someday like to 'put a ring on it'.^{[return to text]}

⁵⁸ University of Oxbridge: Some days, I struggle for hours to come up with silly portmanteaus; other days, the universe has already come up with the portmanteaus for me! Oxbridge is obviously in Wengland, by the way; hence why Edgeworth has so many cases there, during his studies.^{[return to text]}

⁵⁹ Hale University: What if Harvard Law and Yale Law had a bastard baby, and Edgeworth went there? Be afraid: be very afraid!^{[return to text]}

⁶⁰ Rechtsordnung Universität: Yes, Edgeworth literally went to The Law University. Fun fact: I spent a good hour poring through dictionaries trying to find a German compound word that looked most like 'law-y stuffishness' to English speakers, and the hardest part was that I was TOO spoiled for choice. Oh German, never change! ♥^{[return to text]}

⁶¹ “But, come on, I mean, what are the odds of that?”: Dear Mr. Governor, allow me to throw your own words back at you: Have you MET Miles Edgeworth?^{[return to text]}