Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They’d fought the night before.

Her temper was short, his patience was thin, the inn was shitty but the drinks were cheap and plentiful and they both had one or two too many, and they fought.

She can’t remember about what anymore. Wasn’t that always how it went? They’d drink, and they’d fight, and they’d wake up with pounding headaches and commiserate over greasy bacon and lumpy porridge and swear to never do it again.

But this inn is exceptionally shitty. The walls are thin, the windows don’t shut right, and the blankets are itchy with holes where moths have chewed through them. 

It’s far too early to sneak downstairs for breakfast, but too cold in the room to go back to sleep. She’d let Trinket out of his locket to snuggle up with him if she didn’t think he’d fall through the floor. In this place though? Not worth the risk.

She curls in on herself, trying to create warmth where none exists.

They’d fought the night before, and now she’s on the opposite side of the bed they’re sharing, tucking herself into a little ball rather than give him the satisfaction of being the one to reach out first. 

The breakfast table is where they make their peace treaties. Face to face in shared misery and regret. One of them will flinch at a loud noise and the other will scoff and they’ll both roll their eyes and admit that they don’t remember what the fight was even about. They’ll sign their treaty in syrup and smirks and swears that it’s really the last time. It never is, and they never believe it will be.

She’s determined not to give in. She won’t scoot over and glue herself to his back like she usually does because it’s what they always do to keep warm in shitty inns. She’ll freeze. She’d rather freeze.

A harsh wind blows, the window creaks, she swears she can feel the entire building ache underneath them. Forget about Trinket, maybe she’s going to fall through the floor all on her own.

Or maybe she’ll freeze to death. The breeze blows again, the window creaks, and she feels her blanket rustle with the cool air that’s snuck in.

Of course he took the side of the bed further from the window. Of course he did. 

The breeze blows, the window creaks, and she uncurls herself. She nearly launches herself forward, snuggling firmly against her brother’s back.

Her knees tuck up to fit under his and her arms snake underneath his and hook onto his shoulders like straps on a backpack. She presses her face between his shoulder blades and he’s scrawny so it should be uncomfortable, but it’s familiar (is it familiar?) and it’s a little warmer than being alone. 

They’d fought the night before, but that doesn’t mean she needs to freeze her ass off this morning because of it. 

She breathes, hugs him as closely as she can to try and take whatever warmth he might have to offer, and breathes. Her nose tickles with the smell of earth and woods and fire (is that what he smells like?) and that feels warm in its own way.

The sleep she’s chasing begins to return. They’re warmer together, and they’ve been through this before. They’ll get through it again. 

Her limbs start to feel heavy, her mind foggy. It’s only by chance that as she’s about to slip away she feels the way his body tenses in her embrace. 

She wants to call out to him. Not an apology, but a warning-

Don’t you dare think about pushing me away Brother, unless you want to explain to Trinket why his mother’s frozen to death.

Only, the sleep is still heavy in her mind and the words don’t quite come out as words but as a low grumble instead. Still threatening, she thinks, at least to him. He understands her tone (but does anyone else?).

He stays tense, but he doesn’t pull away, so she settles back into her sleepy haze. It’s about to overtake her again when the bed shifts and suddenly her thighs are cold. 

They’d fought the night before, and now he won’t even help keep her warm. Prick. 

She’s quick, and he’s not trying to be. He must have thought she’d dozed off when he started to peel his legs away, tuck them towards his chest. He must have thought if he moved very slowly-

But she’s quick, and she kicks her feet out and tangles their ankles together, drags him back so their thighs are flush again and wraps her calves around his for good measure (he really has gotten scrawny, hasn’t he?).

He’s still tense, and now she’s alert again. He can try to escape her if he wants, but he’ll have a hell of a time. She nudges his shoulder with her forehead, the way Trinket nudges them for affection.

Please Brother, she means to say, do not go far from me.

Her words stay stuck in her throat, still just out of the reach of her clouded mind. But she feels his sharp inhale in her own chest too, pressed as it is against him. She hears the silence finally broken-

“Vex?”

Oh .

They’d fought the night before.

They’d fought the night before, and her heart beats heavily against her ribcage because some of the fuzzy details are taking shape now that she’s trying to call them back to her mind.

It wasn’t one of their usual fights. Yes, her temper had been short and his patience had been thin and they’d both had too much to drink at this shitty inn-

This time their words were sharp and biting. His and hers both, it was hard to say who was worse. Their friends had even tried to step in- a rarity truly, they’d usually let the twins work things out on their own. 

But they’d fought the night before so fiercely that they’d had to take it outside for fear they’d get kicked out of the inn. They’d shook with anger and the chill of the night and the devastation of hurting each other and being hurt by one another and not being able to stop no matter how much they wanted to.

They’d fought the night before, until tears ran down her cheeks and arms wrapped around her waist, holding her back from lunging at him because they didn’t understand. They didn’t understand that she wasn’t lunging to hurt, but lunging to wrap herself in his arms and beg.

Stop, Brother please stop.

She didn’t beg and he didn’t stop. Neither did she, even when her throat was sore and her words incomprehensible through sobs. They each needed the last word. Arms kept holding her and she kept straining against them, because she knew if she could just get to him she could make it stop.

But they’d fought the night before until he landed the killing blow. 

Maybe I should have left you in Syngorn with Father.

If the arms didn’t catch her she’d have been on her knees. The wail she let out… it sounded more like Trinket than herself. Then he was shaking off the arms that had been holding him back from her , closing the distance between them until someone stepped in his way. They didn’t understand. She clawed at the arms around her waist, dug her nails in to draw blood, but they didn’t let go because they didn’t understand.

They’d fought the night before, and the last time she saw him was as he looked down at her from over their friend’s shoulder. She wishes her sight hadn’t been so blurry. She’s sure he looked apologetic. He must have looked apologetic. 

Then someone was leading him away, around the corner and out of sight. She dug her nails in harder, broke skin. The arms stayed. Things got kind of blurry, but someone else joined them and they talked around her like she wasn’t there because maybe she wasn’t really.

She shouldn’t be alone

They were sharing, weren’t they?

I can take her

Then someone was leading her away, and she stopped digging her nails into them because it was a losing battle and he was gone anyway and she was so delirious she could barely make it up the stairs. They helped her into a room- not her room, their room -and tried to get her to the side of the bed away from the window, but she’d stumbled straight for the bed and fell onto it and refused to move any further. 

They’d fought the night before, and she hadn’t gone back to the room they shared. She’d fallen into someone else’s bed. Let them help her undress and tuck her in. Felt them get into bed next to her and curled up as far away as possible, because they weren’t him. Blinked through eyes swollen from tears and saw hair the color of autumn leaves splayed across the pillows, just before the last candle was extinguished and she let sleep take over.

“...Vex?”

Her breath catches in her throat, full of that familiar earthy smell that she loves that isn’t his. The fog in her mind is clearing and it’s very, very apparent now.

They’d fought the night before, and this isn’t him.

This is Keyleth. 

Chapter Text

This is Keyleth. 

Keyleth, locked in her embrace and taking shallow breaths and waiting for a response to her shaky whisper. 

Vex lets out a short huff of air against the younger woman’s back, not trying to make her shiver but delighting in it all the same. Until the fog clears a little more, and rational thoughts begin to wake from their slumber.

How many times has she dreamed of waking up like this? In a quiet room, a soft bed, tangled in Keyleth and warm and safe and-

Rational thoughts wake up, and she realizes that this is none of those things. The wind is creaking, and the bed is stiff. She may as well be wrapping herself around a plank of wood, and it’s still cold, and-

Is she safe?

“Are you awake?”

She begins to untangle her limbs, scoot back to her own side of the bed. She’ll freeze, it’s fine. She’s the one who took the spot by the window anyway.

An apology dies in her throat as Keyleth grasps at her arms, squeezes her legs in place, tugs her back gently but insistently.

“No, wait, you don’t have to go. Don’t go?”

Vex bites her lip to suppress the squeak in her throat at the request. She scoots back in, stretching this time to hook her chin over Keyleth’s shoulder and nuzzle into her neck. Keyleth doesn’t bite her lip in time, or doesn’t think to do it. She sounds like a little field mouse.

Their fingers lace together, Keyleth tugs them to her, brings them to rest over her heart. It’s pounding, too hard and too fast. Is Vex’s pounding like that? They’re so intertwined that it’s hard to tell which heartbeat is hers and which is-

“I just… I wanted to make sure you knew it was me. Last night was kind of a lot, Vex.”

Kind of a lot , that feels like an understatement. Especially because being tucked around Keyleth like this, taking in her warmth and her smell and her sweet, raspy morning voice is bringing more memories to the front of Vex’s mind. 

They’d fought the night before. Her and Vax. Screamed and spat and cried. Said horrible things they didn’t mean, and horrible things they did.

She remembers the crunch of leaves under her feet as she stormed outside. She remembers the way the air stung her cheeks and her ears rang, and he chased after her and she turned and shrieked-

Why do you always have to have what I want?

“I’ve seen you and Vax argue before, but that was…”

He had laughed in her face. Laughed this horrible, miserable bark and fired back with just as much anger as she’d shot-

I couldn’t if I wanted to Stubby. But did you ever consider that I wanted it too? Wanted her just as much-

“I don’t know what you were fighting about, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,”

They’d fought the night before, and their friends were following them, and as he was shouting at her she caught a flutter of red hair out of the corner of her eye and panic had taken over because he was about to give them away, that idiot was about to give her away,

Shut up! Would you shut up and leave me alone!

“But I guess I’m just… worried. About you- both of you.”

He’d seen them coming at the same moment she had, watched her face fall and that panic take over, and that sinister look had crossed his brow,

At least I had the balls to say something. I tried, Vex. I’m not so emotionally constipated that I’d rather take every opportunity to berate-

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

Shut up!

“But, Vex?”

So how can you be angry at me for trying when we both know you never will?

“I want you to know that I’m here. I’ll be here. Whatever you need, I’m- I’ll-”

Keyleth’s heavy exhale brings her back to the present. Back to this moment, with the two of them entangled in each other sharing a too fast heartbeat and growing warmer together not just from proximity, but the flush of their skin as Keyleth speaks and Vex listens. 

They’re both silent for a moment until Vex realizes it’s her turn to speak. She takes a moment to memorize this feeling. This feeling of being one together, safe and entwined in each other. Away from- It’s tempting to stay quiet and keep living in it.

“I’m in love with you.”

The words come out low and mumbled into Keyleth’s ear, and Vex feels the druid’s body quiver as if she’d been shocked.

“Oh.”

“That’s why we fought. Not the only reason, but one of the reasons.”

There had been other reasons- reasons she can’t remember at the moment because they aren’t curled up in bed with her. They aren’t quivering in her arms.

“Sorry,” Vex breaks the silence that falls, “I can give you space. I should give you space.”

She begins, again, to untangle her limbs. This time Keyleth lets her, but only long enough to roll over and tuck herself face first into Vex’s arms.

“No, please . Stay.”

“Keyleth…”

“I love you too, I love you . Stay.”

There’s the tug of hands gripping the back of the undershirt she’d slept in, clinging to her like she might slip away. Then a tickle just over her heart where Keyleth lays her head- tears at first, brushed away with feather light kisses.

Vex freezes.

They’d fought the night before, and it’s complicated .

You know why I never will! she’d screamed back, as their friends finally got to them. 

She’d screamed it, and his face had crumbled, and that was when she tried to lunge at him but someone’s arms held her back and she couldn’t see who, but he could. He could, and in a snap he was composed again and fighting back, because he could see what she couldn’t see.

Keyleth’s hands are curling more tightly in her shirt now. Vex wonders if she still has little crescent shaped marks from where she’d dug her nails in. Drew blood trying to get her off.

They’d fought the night before, and it’s unfair .

The way he’d mocked her for never acting on her feelings, when- how could she?

It took her longer, for things like that. Longer to recognize her feelings, accept them, put them into words and then work up the nerve to say those words out loud.

She’d been so close, and she’d actually started to think that maybe it would work out. Maybe Keyleth would say them back.

She’d been right there, and then he’d swooped in. He’d pulled out that charming smile and the chivalrous gestures. He’d found ways to make Keyleth flush all the way to the tips of her adorable ears- a personal goal that Vex hadn’t been able to achieve. 

Then he’d kissed her. Told her he loved her.

What was Vex supposed to do?

“Vex?” Keyleth whispers against her chest, an anxiety Vex knows too well from her creeping into her voice.

They’d fought the night before, and he doesn’t get it .

She had forgiven him. For swooping in the way he did. No matter what angry words were shouted into the night air from the bottom of a bottle, she really believed that he fell in love with her too. 

So she hurt, and she cried when she got the chance (which wasn’t often given how impossible it was to find time alone, but she managed), and she was angry and should have been more careful because most of the time it unleashed on Keyleth. As if she’d fall out of love with her if she just let herself get angry enough.

She did all of those things, and she forgave her brother. And when Keyleth had rejected him, she hurt with him. For him. For him especially because he didn’t seem to understand that her words about it not being the right time, too much going on- they didn’t mean she would wait for him.

He still loved her. He would wait. 

Keyleth never intended to.

“Vex?”

They’d fought the night before, and she wants to scream again now.

Because she’s noticed the looks Keyleth has been giving her since then. Noticed how she looks out for her when they fight, grows patches of these little flowers Vex mentioned liking once when she thinks she’s not looking and then points them out as if they’d always been there, sneaks Trinket extra treats and cuddles.

Vex loves her so. This awkward, strange, brave and loyal and loving girl. 

But Vax has noticed too. He’s noticed, and she’s watched his heart break more and more every day. Watched him deflate when Keyleth sits near her by the fire instead of him. Watched him stalk off into the woods, then found him hiding up a tree nearby just waiting to see if Keyleth would come looking for him or worry when he came back where he’d been.

So how can he act like she should be doing something when he’s skulking around acting like that? 

He’ll never forgive her. He’ll never forgive either of them.

“Vex, where’d you go?”

She blinks back to herself- back to this moment. Back to hot tears against her chest and fists balling up in her undershirt and Keyleth’s voice sounding so broken and pleading.

“I’m here,” she says, lets out a shuddering sigh. She raises a hand to brush away tears, to carefully tilt Keyleth’s head back so she can look down into those glistening green eyes. 

Vex lets her thumb travel, tracing cheekbone down to soft blushing cheek, ghosting over lips pursed with confusion. They soften at the touch, relaxed and pliant, and her stomach knots itself.

“I love you,” they whisper against her. 

They’d fought the night before, and Vex could cry because she doesn’t want to be thinking of her stupid brother right now but that’s all she can seem to do.

Keyleth is blinking up at her, silently begging for acknowledgement. Begging to hear it back, maybe, or for Vex to say that things will be okay now, or…

“I know, darling.”

Her face crumbles. No, Vex thinks, shatters . 

They’d fought the night before, and now Keyleth is broken in her arms. 

Chapter Text

They’d fought the night before, and-

“You said it first, you know.”

Vex is surprised by the rumbling undercurrent in Keyleth’s voice. 

Keyleth’s hands let go of her shirt, palms sliding to rest on her forearms as the druid suddenly leans away, shakes off Vex’s caress, and seems to put herself back together.

“What?”

Vex sounds like the broken one now.

“You said you loved me like, two minutes ago. You said it first. So why are you… you’re… I can’t find the words exactly, but…”

They don’t need the words. They’re replaced with the furrow of Keyleth’s brow, Vex’s sharp exhale, goosebumps that make them both shiver as if they were contagious.

There’s a quiet understanding that this isn’t right. 

They’d fought the night before- twins so alike it threatened to rip them to pieces. How could they continue to exist together? 

How could they possibly exist apart?

“Keyleth,” Vex breathes finally, “I’m sorry. It’s not that simple.”

“It is though Vex. It’s pretty simple. You’re making it complicated.”

They’d fought the night before, and she isn’t the one making it complicated. It’s her stupid, stubborn brother. Her brother who won’t move on and won’t let her forget it. 

Vex hesitates, watches Keyleth’s face settle into something hard and resolute. A face most often reserved for battle.

“I’m a person, you know.”

“What? Of course-“

“But you’re treating me like… a toy. You’re like two children fighting over a toy.”

They’d fought the night before, and-

Who gives a fuck.

Keyleth is drawing away now, pulling her limbs back to herself. Her fingertips ghost against Vex’s arms, and Vex reaches to catch them. Twines their fingers together. 

“Wait. Please?” She pleads, surprising herself. Keyleth’s face softens almost imperceptibly, and she lets Vex pull their hands to her chest, press them over her heart. 

Her heart is racing, too hard and too fast and she wonders if she pressed their hands to Keyleth’s chest if it would feel the same.

“I know that you love your brother,” Keyleth says suddenly, breaking the silence, “and I know you both love me. Which, is flattering really, but-“

Vex can’t help but let out a little snort, and the druid’s face softens just a bit more while a pink hue starts to rise in her cheeks and she keeps talking,

“But neither of you asked me what I wanted. Vax, he came to me first, but that doesn’t mean he has some kind of claim to me. I’m not property. I have my own feelings.”

As if she’d read Vex’s mind, Keyleth pulls their hands to her own chest. Her heart is racing too. It drums an agonizing rhythm against her ribcage.

There is no night before. There is no later today, or tomorrow. There’s only now, and this. Only the two of them.

“You’re right,” Vex concedes, “I’m sorry. You deserve better.”

Under her hand Vex feels Keyleth’s heart beat even faster, she wouldn’t have guessed it was possible.

“I do . So… can you be better? Because I still want you, Vex.”

Her breath catches in her throat. Keyleth blinks back at her. If it weren’t for feeling the racing of her heart, Vex would never know of her fear in that moment. 

This is the girl she’s fallen in love with. Brave enough to stare her down and demand better for herself. Trusting enough to believe that somehow, despite everything, Vex still deserves a chance. Forgiving enough to offer it to her. Loving enough to want to offer it to her. 

Nothing else- no one else -matters right now.

“I can be better. I will be better. Can I show you?”

Vex’s hand shakes as she untangles it from Keyleth’s, brings it to cup her cheek and stifles a chuckle at the extremely over eager nod she receives in response.

And then suddenly she’s kissing her. It happens in a heartbeat. One moment she’s her and Keyleth is Keyleth, and the next moment they’re just… them. Keyleth’s lips are as soft as she always imagined they’d be, and impossibly gentle against her own. Inexperienced, maybe, but there’s something sort of nice about that. They’ll learn each other together, without expectations.

When they pull away Vex sees that Keyleth has flushed all the way to the tips of those adorable ears of hers. She can’t help the little laugh of satisfaction that escapes her lips. Finally .

The laugh seems to startle Keyleth, her eyes widening in anxious confusion. Vex can only smile, brush a hand along her cheek to wipe it away.

“Just admiring you, darling.”

“ Oh .”

So Keyleth laughs too, a short burst of nervous giggles as she leans into Vex’s hand. Her eyes stay wide, anxious, searching. Vex knows that she should say something (she should say something, shouldn’t she?), but she can hardly hear her own thoughts for the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears.

It’s Keyleth who speaks up again, as she worries the thin blanket between shaking fingers.

“Uh.. so… I didn’t really… I kindofdidn’texpectthattowork . And believe me, I’m glad that it did. Like REALLY glad. But um… what now?”

What now? That is the question, isn’t it? Vex tucks some stray hair behind Keyleth’s ear to buy herself a moment to think.

They’d fought the night before. And she’s trying not to worry about that now, really. It’s just…

This is decidedly not how she expected her morning to go. And after her brother’s words last night she had resigned herself to the fact that she could never have this. Could never have Keyleth in bed with her, tangling their legs together again and kissing her wrist while Vex combs her fingers through her hair. Could never have the taste of Keyleth on her lips. 

What now?

There’s a chill from the window, and Vex pulls Keyleth back to her. She draws her head to rest on her chest, pressing a kiss to her auburn locks. Keyleth curls into her side, half on top of her as her lips brush Vex’s collarbone and she lets out a little contented hum of approval.

Maybe they can just stay like this, Vex thinks. She slides a hand under the back of Keyleth’s shirt, needing to feel her skin beneath her fingertips. Needing to know this is real. It’s met with a squeak, an arched back, and then a little sigh that does something to her (she files that away for later) as she begins to rub soothing circles on goose-pimpled flesh. 

Keyleth is warm, and the weight of her is calming, and the slight tickle of her breath on Vex’s chest is enough to coax her sleepiness back from where she’d tucked it away. The heaviness beneath her eyelids returns, her heart is slowing back to a normal rhythm, and she feels her breath getting deeper and slower, and-

“Vex?”

She startles back awake.

“Hmm?”

“That wasn’t really an answer.”

Vex sighs, but there’s a quiet amusement to it because, well… she’s not wrong .

“Right. Unfortunately I have as much of an answer to that question as you do.”

They’d fought the night before, and he’d killed the last shred of hope she’d been holding onto. She saw what it would do to him- to them, if she pursued this. He’d become angry and cruel, and-

“I just need to know one thing, if that’s okay?” Keyleth asks, her voice wavering with a slight uncertainty. Vex strokes her hair with her free hand, drawing her fingers through it and feeling Keyleth relax more into her.

“Of course, dear.”

They’d fought the night before, and Vex had wanted the ground to swallow her whole. It had felt like the end, finally, to that stupid senseless desire of hers…

“This is… I mean… sorry.”

Keyleth nuzzles her face into the crook of her neck, and Vex tries to soothe her with a quiet hush . Or maybe she’s trying to soothe herself.

“Sorry,” Keyleth starts again, “I’m, uh, having a little trouble with words. But I just… I need to know that this is something . That we won’t wake up in a few hours and act like this never happened.”

They’d fought the night before, and all of the resolve she’d found to give up on this had been carried away with the cold morning breeze. Lost to the rise and fall of Keyleth’s chest against her own, her soft skin beneath her fingertips.

“This is something, Keyleth.” 

And when Keyleth raises her head to look at her, to read her expression, Vex leans down and kisses her again. Feels her love melt into her and doesn’t regret it. Gazes down into her eyes as they pull apart and-

“You should talk to your brother.”

Groans.

“Your timing, Kiki, is impeccable.”

Keyleth flushes, having the decency to look sheepish before she lays her head back on Vex’s chest.

“Sorry,” she sighs, “I just know you’ve been fighting about this and I can tell you’re still thinking about it-“

“I’m not-“

She is.

“You are, and that’s okay. He’s the most important person in your life. I’m not saying you should let him change our… something. I just think you should talk to him,”

They’d fought the night before, and she doesn’t want to talk to him, because she already knows how he’ll react. She’s afraid of how he’ll react. She just wants to stay here with Keyleth rambling in her arms.

“Maybe he’ll surprise you,” Keyleth continues, “maybe he’ll be okay with it. Even if he’s not at first, I think he’ll come around. He’s your brother, he loves you. Also, it’s better than him finding out on- Hnnnngggg.”

Vex has to bite back a snort. She’d absentmindedly begun to scratch at the base of Keyleth’s skull as she talked, and now heavy lidded eyes are blinking up at her, words forgotten as her mouth goes slack. 

“Everything alright darling?” Vex teases, stilling her ministrations and earning a pout- a pout , really -in response.

“Hey! Don’t stop ,” Keyleth grumbles. She huffs as Vex leans down to press a kiss to her forehead, but happily settles as the fingers against her scalp go back to work.

“I’ll talk to him in the morning,” Vex says quietly, cutting off Keyleth’s monologue before it can resume. She almost misses the quiet hum of assent she receives in response.

They’d fought the night before, and she’ll bite the bullet in the morning. 

But for now? She lets the sound of Keyleth’s soft breaths lull her back to sleep.

Chapter Text

They’d fought the night before.

Her temper was short, his patience was thin, the inn was shitty but the drinks were cheap and plentiful and they both had one or two too many, and they fought.

Now she tip-toes down the hall in the early morning light, hoping to avoid questioning gazes and prying questions from friends. Her mouth feels like it’s full of cotton- driven by a combination of her hangover and the fear of the conversation to come. Fear of what waits for her behind the door of what was meant to be the room she shared with her brother.

They’d fought the night before, and as she reaches the door she has to fight off the urge to run straight back to where she’d come from. To sneak back into Keyleth’s room, drag her to bed, kiss her until she’s quiet because this morning she’d been back on her What now? What is this? spiral, and Vex really isn’t prepared to handle that right now either.

Forget her brother, and forget Keyleth. Maybe she’ll just ride off into the forest with Trinket, never to be seen again.

She opens the door.

They’d fought the night before, and Vex holds her breath as she creeps into their room, shutting the door quietly behind herself. Her brother is still in bed, facing the wall and cocooned in the shitty thin blanket, and she feels bad because she knows how cold it was last night. He was in here, cold and alone while she was…

Vex waits, watches to see if he’s going to stir. When she’s met with silence she breathes again, padding over to where she’d dumped her bag in the corner of the room the day before. She pauses at every rustle of blankets, every slightly abnormal breath- but he never wakes up.

Maybe she’ll get lucky, and she can change and take her things and slip back out without him waking up at all. Then she won’t have to have this conversation with him. She can avoid it awhile longer, keep living in this in-between space of what’s happened and the fallout.

Of course, that’s not the point. She’s not supposed to be avoiding him, she’s supposed to be talking to him. She’ll have to eventually (won’t she?), and if she doesn’t do it now she’ll see him at breakfast and maybe they’ll talk but they won’t have the conversation they need to have. 

They’d fought the night before, and Vex sits on the edge of the bed. Drops her head into her hands. Tries to talk herself down from revisiting that idea of riding Trinket off into the forest. They would be fine, the two of them. They can handle themselves, and Trinket will keep her warm at night, and he doesn’t yell at her or ask her difficult questions. They understand each other, they-

“Vex?”

There’s a strange comfort in Vax’s voice, low with the sort of bleariness that comes with the first moments of waking. The world is still coming into focus, his mind still pulling itself together, and she’s the first thing he knows. They’ve always been that for each other.

Of course this morning the first thing she knew Keyleth’s hand up her shirt, which she swore was an accident somehow (not that Vex was upset about it), and-

“I just came to change and grab my things,” Vex says, standing quickly as she feels Vax shift in the bed, turning to look at her. 

They’d fought the night before, and now she can’t look at him because she can’t have this conversation with him. She doesn’t want to have this conversation with him. Instead she begins to strip, and he rolls back over with a groan,

“A little warning would be nice.”

“I said I came to change,” she huffs. Silence falls between them, and she thinks that’s it. Somehow she can keep running away from this. The rational part of her brain is screaming that she shouldn’t be running away from this, that they’ll have to talk about it one way or another, but the emotional part is just as insistent that this is the way to go.

It’s only when Vex perches back on the edge of the bed to change her socks that she hears her brother pipe up again,

“Were you alright last night?”

They’d fought the night before. Screamed and spat and cried. Said horrible things they didn’t mean, and horrible things they did. How is that alright?

“What do you mean by that?”

The bed shifts, and before Vex has the opportunity to scurry away she feels a tug at her braid. Vax takes off the tie and sets to pulling her hair free, and there’s a lump in her throat that she chooses to ignore.

“Percy and Scanlan dragged me off, and when I came back you were gone. You didn’t sleep here last night. I don’t know where you slept last night, so I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

His fingers comb through her hair, gently untangling knots in a way only learned from years of daily practice. Even as her stomach twists with the anxiety of what to say to him, Vex feels herself relax a little. This is familiar, and safe, and everything last night wasn’t.

“I’m fine,” she says after a long moment, “Keyleth was worried, she brought me back to her room.”

His hands falter for a moment, she holds her breath, but then they’re back to their soothing motions and dividing her hair into sections for a new braid.

“I’m glad she was there for you.”

“Are you?”

They’d fought the night before, and she’s still upset but she really didn’t mean to say that . It slipped out as easily as her hair seems to slip from his fingers. As easily as the breath escapes her lungs, because she wants to take it back and she wants him to take her hair back up and keep acting like their fight was like every other fight they’ve ever had.

She’s startled as she feels his forehead press into her shoulder, hears him give a little humorless chuckle as he leans into her.

“I don’t know how to talk to you about this Vex’ahlia.”

The lump in her throat grows. He sounds just as lost as she feels.

“I told her I’m in love with her,” she says quietly. There’s a long moment of silence, she feels his sharp exhale against her back. She feels like she’s going to throw up, but she keeps talking anyway,

“She… she loves me too. I kissed her. I almost didn’t, I almost turned her down. I was so worried about-”

She doesn’t realize she’s going to cry until it happens. The lump she’s been ignoring presses so hard against her throat she can barely breathe, let alone speak. In her surprise she doesn’t bother to wipe away the hot tears that begin to stream down her cheeks.

They’d fought the night before, but as she hunches forward with a silent sob she feels his arms wrap around her shoulders. She lets him pull her back against his chest, clutches his arms in case he decides to change his mind.

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

The tears come harder.

“But I do worry. I know you loved- love -her too. I don’t want to hurt you… I don’t want you to hate me.”

Vex feels him squeeze her a little tighter, press a kiss to the top of her head.

“I could never hate you Stubby. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I… it does hurt, but it will get better. I’ll live, as long as I’ve got you.”

She feels his breath against her hair, and her tears are slowing down. Her heart is starting to feel normal again. They stay like that for a long moment, grounding themselves. Remembering the years and years of it just being the two of them, of needing this connection to survive. 

Eventually he speaks up again,

“I don’t want you to give up your happiness for me.”

Vex sniffles, resting her cheek against his arm where it wraps around her,

“I want you to be happy too.”

There’s a long silence. Her stomach is twisting, but she’s surprised to find that the urge to take it all back is gone. His thumbs knead into her shoulders, reassuring. 

“I will be,” he sighs into her hair. It sounds reluctant, maybe unconvinced.

“You know, we could go visit Gilmore soon. I could use more of those exploding arrows…”

“ Vex , seriously?”

“What? You two-“

Before she can finish her thought she’s taken aback by his hands dropping to her sides, fingers poking into them and causing her to jolt forward with a burst of giggles.

“You’re not seriously trying to set me up right now?”

He drags her back to him with a false indignation, stifled laughter in his voice. New tears rise in her eyes, this time from relief.

“You two always get along well,” she continues her previous thought, not unaware of his fingers traveling again, “and he hasn’t exactly been shy about-”

His hands rest on her sides, warning,

“You want to keep going?”

They’d fought the night before, and she knows he’s not really serious now but she settles back against him with a resigned, fine anyway because she’s not trying to press her luck. Was this how they started fighting last night? Something silly like this? It’s still so fuzzy.

It’s fuzzy, but as she leans back she does remember something. His words, 

I should have left you

Falling to her knees and screaming and-

She grabs his wrists and wraps herself in his arms again. 

“Seriously Vex, don’t worry about me,” he says, his voice dropping to something more gentle now, “as long as I have you I’ll always find a way to be happy.”

I should have left you .

But he didn’t really mean that, did he? They were fighting, they weren’t being rational. 

“Brother, last night… you said that you wish you’d left me in Syngorn.”

He tenses, his breathing seems to stop. Maybe she’s tense too, she realizes. She tries to drop it, takes a few deep breaths (distracted as she is she doesn’t notice how he joins her after the first), covers his hands with hers and twines their fingers together.

Even before he responds, she knows he didn’t mean it. He never meant it.

“Sister…”

“It’s okay,” she chokes out, devastated by the ruined sound to his voice, “I know… we were both being idiots last night. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I didn’t, I swear.”

“But why did you say it?”

To her surprise he lets out a soft groan, hiding his face in her hair in shame.

“Would it be awful if I said I don’t remember?”

It’s too bad he’s hiding his face, she thinks, her smirk might make him feel better.

“No, because I don’t even remember how we got to talking about it.”

He chuckles, and it makes her hair tickle her neck and her stomach is untwisting and her heart isn’t aching the way it was. 

“Well, I guess you’re staying then since neither of us has a good reason for you to go.”

She can hear the grin in his voice, feel him start to shift away, and a final shock of sharp lightning shoots from her heart. Her hands tighten on his, keeping him in place a moment longer.

“Brother?”

“Hmm?”

For the first time, she turns to look at him. The ghost of his smile stays on his lips, but she sees his eyes darken with confusion. He’s blurry through her tears but she just wants to see his face. She needs to see him, to believe that they’re really okay. Despite all of her fears from the night before, they’re okay.

“Just… do not go far from me, okay?”

He grins, presses a kiss to her temple,

“I won’t, I swear it.”

They’d fought the night before, and now he gives her one more tight squeeze before he releases her from their embrace and takes her hair back up instead. Through the last of her tears she can only laugh, with some mixture of disbelief and gratitude and love . 

“So,” he says after a moment, his voice taking on a mischievous tone,“you spent all night in Kiki’s room and you only kissed her?”

Vex rolls her eyes, finally wiping tears away from her cheeks as they begin to grow warm,

“Shut up, we didn’t do much more than that. She felt me up this morning but I think it was an accident? She’s… we’re… I don’t really know… I don’t know what we are. I don’t know what we’re doing, if we’re doing anything to be honest.”

She gives a sharp squeak of surprise at the quite intentional tug on her hair.

“I take it back, if you went through all of this trouble just to back out because you’re afraid to call yourself her girlfriend I might hate you.”

He returns to braiding, and she takes a moment to let it sit with her. Why does it sound so simple when he says it?

“What does that even mean though?” she cracks, “So we say we’re dating, then what?”

“The two of you can kiss each other already instead of making those pathetic eyes all the time.”

Her cheeks grow warmer still, and she wants to protest because she can practically feel his smirk even without turning around, but her thoughts are still buzzing. 

It’s a nice idea, being able to kiss Keyleth whenever she wants. Her mind wanders to the scenarios she’s dreamed of- putting her arm around Keyleth by the fire, curling up against Trinket with her and looking up at the stars until they fall asleep, even simply sitting next to her at the bar and leaning over to close the gap and press a quick kiss to her cheek or lean her head on her shoulder.

“But what else ?”

“Sister, I am not going to spell this out for you. You probably have more experience with-”

“That’s not what I meant! I meant, what else changes? What’s different?”

They’d fought the night before, and she was sure he would never forgive her. She had truly believed he would hate her for this forever.  She never expected to be sitting here with him braiding her hair and asking him for relationship advice.

“I mean, whatever you want I guess? Do you want anything else to change?”

She takes a moment to consider that. What else would she want to change? She fell in love with Keyleth the way she is now, why would she ever change that?

And it had been so… normal earlier. The way they talked and teased and interacted with each other felt so natural. Even if some of the words had changed, some of the sentiments- they were still them. What else did she need?

“I… don’t think so?”

“Well that makes it easy then, doesn’t it?”

Easy?

He finishes the braid just in time, tying off the end as she whips her head around to stare him down.

“How is this easy?”

“How is it difficult?”

Oh she wants to wipe that smug look right off his face. He cocks an eyebrow, waiting for some smart retort, but she only huffs and stands from the bed.

“Don’t overcomplicate it,” he continues as she goes to gather her belongings into her pack, “kiss her and go from there.”

Again, she bites back a response. He takes it as an invitation to go on,

“Oh, and maybe tell her that next time her hand is up your shirt, you want it to be on purpose.”

She knows that he’s trying to get a reaction, but she gives in and decides to let him have it anyway. She whirls around as heat rises in her cheeks and-

“Vax! A little warning would be nice.”

She spins right back around again and tries to pretend she didn’t just see her brother’s bare ass.

“You didn’t give me warning earlier.”

“I did, I told you I came to change.”

“Well you should have known that I needed to change too.”

They’d fought the night before, and they settle right back into it in the morning. Only, this time they prod playfully at each other, words delivered as teases with Cheshire grins until neither can take each other or themselves seriously anymore. 

Then, lightened with laughter and the promise of breakfast, they make their way out of the room- 

And come face to face with Keyleth.

“Oh! Hi, I was uhh, just coming to check on you.”

Vex can’t help the smirk that finds its way onto her lips as she watches a blush creep across Keyleth’s cheeks. She watches as her eyes shift between herself and Vax, trying to get a read on the situation.

“You came to check on me? You’re too kind, Kiki.”

Vax steps forward, taking one of Keyleth’s hand between both of his in a flourish of fake sincerity. He grins up at her, and Vex feels a little bad for finding the panic in her girlfriend’s eyes so endearing.

“And you’re an ass, Brother,” she says, shoving Vax away. He just gives a mischievous laugh, shoots Keyleth a quick wink, then carries on ahead of them towards the stairwell.

Vex waits to get some distance between them before she reaches up to cup Keyleth’s cheek, chuckling at the heat she finds.

“We’re alright Darling, don’t worry.”

Keyleth’s eyes study her for a moment, taking in the genuine smile, the brightness returned to her eyes. Her own face begins to relax,

“I’m so glad Vex, I really am.”

They both hesitate, words from earlier left unspoken but understood. What now? 

Well, now Vex is ready to talk about it. But maybe after-

“You and I can talk after breakfast, is that okay?” 

She can feel her stomach grumbling.

Thankfully Keyleth nods, her eyes bright and hopeful, and they’ll talk later but that doesn’t mean Vex can’t kiss her now.

She rocks up on her tip toes and pulls Keyleth down to her, replacing her hand on her cheek with her lips, a soft kiss pressed just at the edge of her mouth. Keyleth lets out a little hum of surprise, but when Vex pulls away she can see that the last of the worry in her face has melted away.

It’s when Keyleth opens her mouth to speak that they hear snickering from down the hall.

That asshole hadn’t gone far, had he?

“Need a step stool there, Stubby?” He calls from ahead, just before bolting off down the hall. He know what comes next- her feet come thundering after his, haughty protests shouted in his wake.

They’d fought the night before, and they knew it wouldn’t be the last time. Between playful teasing and drunken spats, it never ended. But maybe it shouldn’t? 

Maybe, she thought as she finally managed to tackle him at the top of the stairs, this was good for them. Maybe this was one of the fucked up ways they knew how to show their love.

They’d fought the night before, and she realizes the morning after that she wouldn’t have had it any other way.