Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Damnit” Al swore as he removed the bandage covering the wound in his hip.

The wound had occurred a few days ago when out arresting a suspect. He had been stabbed in the hip resulting in a long ish but shallow wound. He had been ignoring the pain and had forgotten to change his bandage the previous day until that day when he woke up with a fever and knew he could no longer ignore it.

“Yep, that's infected”. Alvin whispered into the bathroom as he looked at the wound in the mirror. Hank was still sleeping but Al knew he was going to be pissed. He usually was when he found out Al wasn’t taking care of himself.

“Alvin?” Al turned away from the mirror to meet Hank’s eyes from where Hank was on their bed having just woken up. Al hadn’t closed the bathroom door and was starting to regret that decision.

“Hank”.

“Are you alright? Usually you're not the first one up”. Hank asked as he got out of bed heading over to his husband.

“I think the wound on my hip is infected. I woke up with a bit of a fever”. Al explained knowing it was better just to tell Hank the truth.

“Darling”. Hank sighed as he took a look at the wound.

“I know, I know. In my defense I forgot it was there”.

“Was the pain not a reminder?” Hank asked back.

“I ignored the pain, I’m quite good at it”.

“That’s not a good thing. Come get in the bath and I’ll clean the wound, bandage it and check your fever”. Hank said, taking charge of the situation.

Al didn’t really say anything back as he removed the clothes he had slept in and settled in the bath. He knew it wasn’t worth arguing about. Soon enough he was back in bed as Hank checked his temperature.

“101.2. If it gets higher we're getting you checked out”. Hank said as he settled next to Al.

“I really did forget about it”. Al whispered as he snuggled up against his husband.

“I know Al. And we can talk about that another time. Just try to rest now”. Hank waited until Al was asleep before he grabbed his phone and sent a message to the unit letting them know they wouldn’t be in today and for Antonio to run the case if they caught one.

xxxxxx

“102.3”. Hank said as he read the thermometer a couple hours later.

“I’ll give you some Tylenol and fluids but you really should get checked out by a doctor”. Hank said as he started pacing.

“I’m fine Hank”. Al protested from where he was sitting on their bed.

“I don’t think you’ve been fine a day in your life”. Hank replied as he grabbed the Tylenol and Al’s water bottle and handed both items to his husband.

“You're hilarious”. Al said sarcastically.

“Just rest some more”.

“I will. You worry too much Hal”. Alvin stated as he laid down again.

“I don’t think you worry enough”. Hank turned the light off and settled back into bed.

“You worry enough for the both of us”.

Hank only shook his head with a fond look on his face as Al fell asleep.

Ten minutes later Hank was standing in the hallway as his phone rang.

“Hank? Is Jay okay”. Will Halstead asked, his voice tinged with panic as he answered his phone.

“Jay’s fine as far as I know. This is about Alvin. A couple days ago he was stabbed leaving a long but shallow wound in his hip. This morning he woke up with an infection and fever but won’t let me get him checked out. I was wondering if you could just pop by after your shift and make sure he’s not dying”. Hank tried to insert some humor into his voice with the last sentence but knew Will could hear his concern.

“Of course, Hank. I finish at 7 so I’ll be right on by after I get off my shift. How high is his fever?”

“102.3. I gave him Tylenol for it and I’m trying to keep him hydrated”.

“Give him as much fluids as he can keep down and keep checking his temperature though if it gets too high you should bring him in”. Will said.

“I will. Thanks”. A minute later Hank hung up and headed back to his bedroom.

xxxxxx

“Alvin, Darling”. Al woke up a couple hours later to meet Hank’s eyes.

“Mhmm”. Al muttered as his eyes fully adjusted to his surroundings.

“Will Halstead will be over soon. I asked if he could stop by just to check you over if you won’t let me take you to the doctor”.

“Okay”. Al knew there was no point in arguing and just laid against Hank until the doorbell rang.

“I heard you had an infection and a fever”. Will said as he came into the room and placed his medical bag on the ground.

“Yeah”. Al replied as he removed the blankets covering him and pulled up his shirt giving Will access to the wound.

“Definitely an infection settling in. You should be okay to stay here but like I told Hank if your fever rises much higher you should head to the ED”. Will said as he grabbed a new bandage and replaced the one he had removed.

“Make sure to stay hydrated and take something for the pain and fever if needed”. Will stood up after he said that and grabbed the medical bag.

“Thanks Will”. Hank responded as he also stood up.

“Anytime. Feel better Al”. Hank walked Will out and after talking for a few minutes, Hank headed back upstairs and into bed.

Hank got Al to take a few sips of water seeing the man starting to fall asleep again.

“That feels good”. Al rasped as Hank pressed his cool hands to Al’s warm face.

“I bet it does Sweetheart. Get some rest”. Hank replied as he wrapped an arm around Al not minding the warmth that came off Al’s skin as his husband curled against him. Hank was just glad Al was going to be okay.

Chapter Text

“Here”.

Al accepted the cup of water Adam handed him as his coughing fit grew quiet.

“Thanks”.

“You feeling okay, Al? You’ve been off for days”. Adam leaned against the break room door as he looked at his mentor and partner.

“I’m fine”. Al said as he placed the now empty cup in the sink.

“You look fine. Sarge has been watching you with that worried look for days and you’ve been coughing and blowing your nose for the same amount of time”.

“Your observant”. Al said sarcastically as he headed back to his desk fighting the urge to blow his nose again after Adam pointed it out. He would rather his nose run than for Adam to make a point.

“I know I am. Seriously though, are you doing okay man?” Adam did look legitimately concerned as he took his own seat across from Al.

“I’m fine, Ruzek”. Al shivered violently again and grabbed his jacket, putting it on and ignoring the looks the rest of the unit exchanged.

He placed his aching head on the desk knowing most of his paperwork was completed. He also knew Hank wouldn’t mind if Al rested for a few minutes.

xxxxxx

“So who’s going to address the elephant in the room?” Al looked up from where he was staring at the table to meet his husband's eyes.

“What elephant?” Al knew exactly what Hank was referring to but he was not going to be the one to bring it up.

“You're getting sick. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, Darling”.

“I really am fine Hal. I’ve just been feeling a bit under the weather, probably a cold. Nothing for you to worry about”.

“If it’s more than a cold nobody is going to be mad at you. You're allowed to stay home if you're not feeling well”. Hank knew Al hadn’t been able to admit he was sick during his childhood and knew the inability to admit he wasn’t feeling well had followed Alvin into adulthood.

“I know Hank. And regardless we only have one day of work left before were taking time off for Christmas. I’m sure the cold will be gone by then and Christmas will go smoothly”. Al wouldn’t ruin the holidays for his family. On Christmas Eve all of there kids and their families would be coming over for dinner and presents. That was only a week away and Al wasn’t going to ruin it.

xxxxxx

To Al’s displeasure he only felt worse as time went on. By the time the 23rd rolled around he had spent half of the night in the bathroom vomiting. He had developed a fever the last few days which only continued to rise, his body ached and he was shivering constantly despite his rising temperature.

“I think I’m done”. Al wheezed. There wasn’t much in his system anymore. It had been a fight on Hank’s end to get Al to keep anything down and he usually ended up throwing it back up.

“Alright Sweetheart”. Hank helped Al back into bed, practically carrying his sick husband as Al tried to get comfortable again. Hank got the garbage can situated on Al’s nightstand and climbed back into bed himself.

“I’m sorry”.

“Nothing to apologize for Al. You're sick, that is hardly your fault”.

“M going to sleep”. Al mumbled as his head once again started pounding.

“That sounds like a good idea”. Hank pressed a kiss to Al’s forehead as Al fell asleep.

xxxxxx

“I’ll stay up here”.

“Huh?” Hank asked. He had just coaxed Al to drink a couple sips of water and they were both laying there hoping Al would keep it down.

“Tomorrow, when everyone is over. I’ll stay up here so I don’t get anyone else sick”. Al repeated as he looked at Hank.

“I’m canceling. Whatever flu you have I probably already have it at this point. I’m also not leaving my sick husband upstairs when we celebrate without him. I’m sure we can find a different day to get together when you're feeling okay”. Some part of Hank was expecting his conversation to happen.

“Hank, you can’t cancel. There your family and you need to see them”. Al wasn’t really listening to all Hank had said and the points he had made. All Alvin could focus on was the holiday he was ruining for everyone.

“Darling, you're my family too. Right now I’m putting you first. Michelle and Lexi are already staying with Erin for a bit and I’m sure they will do something tomorrow and on Christmas”.

“There not here?” Al asked. He hadn’t even realized that. God he felt horrible and like a terrible father.

“You’ve been pretty out of it so I’m not surprised. I asked Erin if they could use her spare room and couch a few days ago just so you don’t get them sick as well”.

“But I’m getting you sick”. That was something else Alvin had felt terrible about. He knew he was going to get Hank sick with how close Hank had been to him the whole time he was sick. Hank mentioning it before had only reminded him.

“I don’t mind. All that matters right now is you feeling better. If you're feeling up to it we can head downstairs tomorrow and watch some Christmas movies and enjoy some homemade soup”.

Al snorted as he leaned against Hank. “Homemade soup from a can?”

“Yep, I highly doubt you want my attempt at homemade soup”.

Al laughed again which was interrupted as his stomach turned once again and he grabbed the garbage can, throwing up the little water he had drunk.

“God damnit’. Al said as he emptied his stomach once again.

“Maybe we will hold off on the soup for now”. Hank replied as he rubbed Al’s back soothingly.

“That’s probably a good idea”.

Chapter Text

“Well that’s great”. Alvin muttered to himself as his phone died. He had been on his way to meet a CI when he drove over a nail and was forced to pull over. After confirming his tire was losing air and that he didn’t have a spare, Al called a tow truck. Of course right when he hung up his phone died.

He leaned against his car as he stared out at the road. He really didn’t want to go back into the car knowing the tow truck could miss him. Al started shivering and was regretting not putting on more layers. His jacket was old and not as warm as it once was. He had his beanie on but no gloves and his pockets only did so much.

Alvin really couldn’t do much but stand there and wait. A few cars went by but not a lot and Al wasn’t surprised. He had specifically picked this route since it was a bit out of the way but he wouldn’t get stuck in traffic.

“Instead you're stuck on the side of the road”. Al said as he leaned further on his car.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there for. Al didn’t realize when his shivering stopped or when breathing started getting harder. He was so tired all of a sudden and could hardly keep his eyes open as he slowly eased himself to the ground. The light snow storm started falling much harder and Al could only look ahead as his head started lolling sideways.

It had to have been at least a half hour since he had been out there and some part of Al couldn’t remember why he was there. Why was he out in the cold?

Where was Hank? The unit?

As Alvin’s eyes closed he couldn’t remember who those people were.

xxxxxx

“For all we know Al is probably at his CI’s place. It’s possible he just turned his phone off so their meeting wasn’t getting interrupted”. Jay said as he and Antonio started driving to where Al’s last known location was.

“I agree with you, but Hank’s worried and it’s worth a look. If he’s safe then we turn back and everyone is happy”. Antonio replied from the passenger seat. After Al didn’t answer anyone's calls Hank had started getting worried but had needed to leave to talk to one of his CI’s and had sent Antonio and Jay to find Alvin.

“Jay. Pull over. There's Al’s car”. Antonio stopped all of a sudden as he spotted his friend's car on the side of the road and felt dread start to set in.

Both men exited their car heading to where Al was. It was Anotnio who spotted Al slouched over in the snow unconscious and wet. His lips were blue when they found him and both of them froze.

Jay reacted first, reaching out to feel for a pulse. “He’s alive. We need to get him in the car and to the hospital. An ambulance will take too long”.

Carefully Antonio and Jay picked Al up in a bridal carry. They made sure they were supporting his body as they got him to their car. Jay took all of Al’s weight while Antonio slipped into the backseat. Jay carefully eased Al into the backseat, having his head rest in Anontio’s lap so he could keep an eye on Alvin’s pulse and breathing. Jay got into the driver's seat and closed all the doors and made sure the heaters were on.

“We need to remove his wet clothes”. Antonio said. His eyes were full of worry as he removed his friends soaking wet jacket. The only clothes Al had on that were dry was a tank top and his boxers which they left him in. Thankfully they had an emergency blanket in their first aid kit and Antonio tucked that and Jay’s sweater over Al as Jay started driving as fast as he could to the closest hospital.

“Thankfully he wasn’t that far away and Med is probably the best and closest hospital to bring him to. So at least he’ll be with people we know”. Jay said as he continued driving the fastest he could in the snow. Antonio gave a distracted nod as he called Hank. He knew as soon as his name came up on Hank's phone the man would answer.

“Tony? Did you find him?” Hank's voice was nearly frantic with worry and Antonio could only wonder if some part of Hank knew what had happened to his husband.

“He’s Hypothermic, Hank. Was unconscious when we found him in the snow. We're almost at Med”. Antonios voice shook as he relayed all the information he knew.

“Will meet you there”. Hank responded and Antonio could hear the worry in his voice only increase. Hank hung up and nobody else said anything as Jay continued driving and Antonio made sure Al was still with them.

“Tonio”. Antonio froze as Al spoke. His words were slurred and clearly said with difficulty but Al was awake.

“Alvin? Hey stay with us, we're getting you help”. Antonio could only look at Al’s blue lips and unfocused eyes and hit himself for not taking Hank’s concerns seriously.
He squeezed Al’s hand hoping to keep the man awake as Jay pulled up in front of the hospital and got out.

“Will”. Jay ran into the ED instantly spotting his brother.

“Jay?”

“Alvin’s outside in the car. We found him out in the snow, and we only have a rough estimate for how long he was there for but he needs medical attention immediately”.

“Hypothermia?” Will guessed as he and April wheeled a gurney outside.

“Yeah”. With Jay and Antonio’s help they got Al on the gurney.

“Alvin? You with us?” Will asked as Ethan joined them in the treatment room and Al was moved onto a bed.

Alvin gave a small nod as treatment was started.
An IV was connected with warm fluids and April slipped an oxygen mask over Al’s face which was giving him warmed oxygen. Blankets were placed over Al as they checked for other injuries.

“Hal?” Al asked, his voice barely audible through the oxygen mask.

Ethan, who was closest to Alvin, turned to the other two detectives at the door.

“He’s asking for Hal?”

“Hank. That’s what Al calls him sometimes”. Jay explained as the two men moved to their friends' side.

“He’s on his way”. Antonio reassured.

Al gave a small nod before his eyes closed again. Despite the doctors best efforts Al once again fell unconscious.

xxxxxx

The next time Alvin woke up he was in a hospital room. His memories were pretty blank and he looked around hoping to piece together why he was in the hospital.
An oxygen mask was over his nose and mouth and he could see the IV in his hand.

Hank was asleep on one of the uncomfortable looking hospital chairs next to him, his legs propped up on Al’s bed.

So Al being the nice husband he was, pushed them off. Hank’s feet landed on the ground with a thud and Al gave a small smile as Hank’s eyes opened.

“Darling”. Hank breathed out relief on his face.

“Was that necessary?” Hank asked, reaching over and grabbing Al’s hand after he didn’t get a response.

“Mhmm”. Al mumbled as he weakly squeezed Hank's hand.

“Wha…happened?” Al asked a minute later the oxygen mask muffling his words. He went to remove it but Hank stopped him.

“You have to leave that alone. From what we figured out your tire popped and you got stuck on the side of the road. Hypothermia set in due to the cold and were lucky Jay and Antonio were able to find you”. Hank explained as he remembered hearing them talk about finding Alvin. They had done everything correctly and Hank had told them he was proud and grateful. The whole situation sucked but Hank knew they had been close to finding a dead body.

“Tired”. Al said next, his voice getting even quieter.

“Rest Sweetheart. We can talk more later”. Hank promised as Al’s eyes closed and the sounds of the monitors filled the room.

Hank knew this could have had a very different outcome and was grateful that everything worked out this time. He knew next time they might not be so lucky.

Chapter Text

“Is everybody alright?”

Alvin gave a nod in response as Hank’s eyes landed on him. The simple arrest had turned into a pretty brutal shooting, and it was a miracle nobody had been shot.

Or so he thought.

Alvin and Kim had been partway to his car when Al froze as sudden pain hit his thigh. The pants he had on were black so no blood stain was visible but the presence of an injury was confirmed when Al pressed his hand to his leg and found it wet with blood.

“Al?” He looked up as Kim said his name from where she was now standing at the car.

“Here you can drive”. Alvin handed the keys to her without another word as he climbed into the passenger seat.

“Are you okay?” Kim asked hesitantly, partway through the drive back to the district.

“I’m fine”. He knew she was going to ask. Alvin was the one who did most of the driving so him randomly letting her drive was definitely going to bring up some questions.

Kim looked like she was going to say something else, but Al was thankful she didn’t.

He hadn’t even realized he had been shot thanks to the adrenaline but now that he thought about it he remembered when it happened. He should say something, Alvin knew that but he didn’t want to worry anyone. Al had hid injuries before and knew Hank and Trudy were going to be pissed.

He was limping once they arrived at the district and barely made it up the stairs. His leg threatened to give out after every step he took.

He could feel Trudy and Kim’s eyes on him and slowly limped over to the bench, he knew he wasn’t making it upstairs no matter how hard he tried.

“Al, you're bleeding”. Alvin looked down and sure enough saw the blood trail he left behind. It did make sense why he was getting lightheaded.

“Damnit. Burgess call an ambulance now”. Al lifted his head back up as Trudy headed over to him.

“I’m fine”. The pile of blood only grew bigger as more blood dripped down his leg and onto the floor.

“I need towels”. Trudy demanded of a cop who was passing by, sending the man and his friend into the locker room to get what she needed.

“Alvin”. Al turned to see Hank and Antonio entering the district, Jay and Erin right behind them.

“We should get him on the floor, it will be easier to keep pressure on the wound. An ambulance is on their way”. Trudy said as Hank knelt beside her.

“Yeah. Come on Love”. Hank carefully eased Al onto the floor having his husband rest his head in Hank’s lap. The towels were handed to Trudy who pressed them to Al’s leg.

“Is it just the one wound?” Antonio asked as he came over.

“I think so”. Al muttered, making sure he kept his eyes open even if he started feeling the effects of the blood loss.

“Just keep your eyes open. That’s all we need of you right now, Darling”. Hank whispered as he cupped Als cheek.

“The rest of you can head upstairs and continue running the case. No need to crowd him right now”. Hank instructed and most of Intelligence reluctantly left. The only ones who stayed were him, Trudy and Antonio.

“I didn’t want to worry anyone”. Al rasped and Trudy could only shake her head as she looked at her bleeding friend.

“Well, we're worried now”. Trudy replied as she put more pressure on the towel causing Alvin to wince.

“Just a bit longer”. Hank reassured as Gabby and Sylvie headed over to them.

“Antonio?” Gabby asked as the two paramedics knelt down next to the detectives and sergeants.

“Hey, I’m good. Alvin over here was shot”. Antonio said as he saw the look in his sister's eyes.

“How’s the pain Al?” Sylvie asked as Gabby took a look at his wound.

“Sweetheart? Are you still with us?” Hank asked as they didn’t get an answer.

“Mhm”. Al hummed, focusing on his husband's worried face.

“The pain? Scale of 1-10”.

“8”. Al mumbled as he wheezed.

“Will get you something for that. Just gotta get you out to the ambo”. Gabby said as she finished looking at the wound.

Before long Al was in the back of the ambulance with Gabby and Hank. Gabby was finishing cutting off his pants so she had better access to the wound. He had already been connected to a nasal cannula and monitors as well as an IV had been started.

“You're doing so good”. Hank praised as he squeezed Al’s hand reassuringly.

“Hurts”. Al muttered. He hated admitting that but he knew him and Hank were past the point where Al could hide how he felt or the pain he was in from his husband.

The ride felt shorter than Al knew it actually was. Soon enough they arrived at Med and he was wheeled inside.

“Alvin Olinsky, fifty four year old male, bullet wound to the left thigh bullet still inside”. Gabby called out. Al heard her call out the rest of his stats but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. The pain was getting worse and he blinked rapidly trying to stay awake.

Several pairs of hands were on him moving him to a bed, placing more monitors and Al was trying hard not to flinch away. He had never been a fan of touch, especially from people he didn’t know. Alvin thought all his time in the hospital would make him use to this, but it didn’t.

Breathing started getting harder and he knew he was gasping. An oxygen mask was slipped on his face and he made eye contact with a nurse before his eyes started closing.

Lots of voices were talking as his consciousness started fading.

“Bullet still in will need to wheel him into surgery”.

“Oxygen levels decreasing……. flo…”.

“Bloo…los…”

“He….fad…g…”

The rails were put up on the hospital bed and he could feel the bed start moving before he fully fell unconscious and the pain faded.

xxxxxx

Hank was pacing the waiting room and had been for the last hour. They had taken Alvin into surgery to remove the bullet. He knew this wasn’t the worst surgery Al had ever been through but he also knew every surgery came with risks and Al had lost quite a bit of blood already.

“Hank come sit down”. Trudy said quietly as she stood up and headed over to her friend.

“Why did he not tell us? Has he honestly learned nothing from the past times he hid injuries”. Hank ranted as he sat down next to Trudy.

They were in the more private waiting room Intelligence was usually brought to whenever one of their own was in the hospital. They were the only two left in the room, the others having gone to grab dinner. Despite his attempts from earlier none of them were able to focus on the case. They had handed it off to another unit and were waiting for news on their friend before they did anything else.

“I stopped trying to fully figure Alvin out a long long time ago. The reasons he does or doesn’t do things are a mystery to me. I’m grateful we found out before the outcome was way worse. The length Alvin will go to hide something is something we know all too well”.

They didn’t talk about that time. It was something that still haunted Hank and Trudy to this day. Not realizing how bad it had gotten until it was almost too late. Trudy still felt the blood sometimes. She had scrubbed her hands for weeks following the incident. Her scream haunted her nightmares on particularly bad nights.
Alvin had hid injuries than as well. For years. And none of them ever noticed until it was almost too late. On days like these when they waited once again for news on Al’s condition, reminded them of how close they had been to losing him that night. Trudy knew if she hadn’t forgotten her water bottle Alvin would’ve been dead. And sometimes when they found themselves back on uncomfortable chairs they wondered Al’s true motive behind hiding injuries.

Both were interrupted out of there thoughts as the door opened and the unit filtered back in. Jay and Erin handed Trudy and Hank a bag of food from the nearby burger joint and both nodded their thanks. They fell back in silence again.

“Owen, how is he?” Hank asked as Doctor Owen Parker entered the waiting room and everyone stood up.

“Alvin is alright all things considered. Surgery went well and they successfully removed the bullet and transferred him to the ICU. He’ll need some physical therapy but should make a full recovery. Since Alvin is in the ICU we have to limit visitors to two at a time”. Owen explained and everyone let out a sigh of relief. There was no debate on who was going to see Al and soon enough Hank and Trudy were standing outside of his hospital room.

“Oh Darling”. Hank pulled a chair up next to Al’s bed as he grabbed his husband's hand.

Trudy didn’t say anything, just pulled a chair up to the other side of the bed and grabbed Al’s other hand.

“Fuck, nobody called Lexi and Michelle yet”. Hank swore suddenly forgetting he never contacted them. He felt horrible. He hadn’t noticed his husband hiding injuries or contacted his daughters.

“I got that Hank. You stay with him”. Trudy said as she stood up. Hank didn’t feel like arguing and only nodded as he settled in for the upcoming conversation and long night ahead of them.

xxxxxx

Monitors beeping was the first thing Alvin heard as he regained consciousness. His dark eyes slowly opened and then closed just as fast as the bright lights sent a wave of pain through his aching head.

“Sorry Darling”. Alvin heard and then footsteps. The next time he opened his eyes the lights weren’t as bright and he could keep them open.

“Hal?” Al rasped as he adjusted to his surroundings and saw his husband's worried face.

“I’m here and you're okay”. Hank reassured as Al’s eyes focused on him.

“Hospital?” Al’s memories were slowly coming back to him as he looked around the hospital room.

“Yeah. You were shot but they removed the bullet and you're healing up now”. Hank kept the explanation simple, not wanting to overwhelm Al with too much information right when he woke up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had been shot until I was heading back to my car”. Alvin knew Hank didn’t believe him. He could tell in Hank’s hesitant nod and immediate change of subject.

“Lexi and Michelle went down to get something to eat and Trudy went home to get some sleep so just us right now, but I’m sure somebody from the unit will arrive in the next twenty minutes”. Hank commented with a small smile.

“I didn’t want to worry you guys”.

“Alvin, you were shot. There was no way in that scenario that we weren’t going to be worried. Nothing you did would have made us worry less than we are. It’s just something that happens when someone you love is hurt”.

“I guess”. Al knew that no matter what Hank said now, he once again hiding an injury was going to be brought up at a later date. Alvin knew he scared everyone and probably reminded Hank and Trudy of a day they all wished never happened.

Hank started talking about the latest antics of the stray cat that roamed around their neighborhood and for a moment everything was okay. For a moment they weren’t in the hospital as Alvin recovered from getting shot and surgery. Memories of the past weren’t lurking around the corner and conversations weren’t being avoided. For a moment everything was okay.

Chapter Text

Robert Lee stood in front of the house belonging to the detectives that had once arrested him. He had rotted in prison for fifteen years because of them. All because they had believed his pathetic wife and child over him. Robert had a long time to think and once he was finally released he made a plan. He couldn’t get those years of this life back but he could make them regret everything.

xxxxxx

“I turned the light off yesterday”. Alvin said from where he was already laying in bed.

“You're such a child sometimes”. Hank said as he rolled his eyes but stood up anyway and flicked the main light off.

“You love me anyway”.

“That I do Darling”. Hank got into bed himself as Al curled up against him the same way he did every night.

“Sweet dreams Hal”.

“Good night, Sweetheart”.

Turns out it was not going to be a good night.

xxxxxx

Footsteps on the stairs did not wake either man up. There were two teenagers living in the house that had atrocious sleeping schedules. Their bedroom door opening certainly did.

Al’s eyes slowly adjusted to their surroundings as the door creaked open. The room was pitched black and he couldn’t see anything but he felt that something was off. Unfortunately, turning to look at the other side of the room proved to be a mistake.

Alvin turned to look at Hank’s side of the room not noticing the figure slowly come closer. He certainly felt when a knife was slammed into his chest. The scream he let out was cut off as a hand covered his mouth. It was too late as Hank sat up.

“Al?” Alvin had nightmares and had woken up screaming in the past but as soon as a gunshot hit the wall Hank was flicking on the lamp and grabbing his gun off the nightstand, in once fluent motion.

The man shot again moving away from Al who continued bleeding out especially when the man grabbed the knife out of his chest no longer stopping the flow of blood.

Hank shot back hitting the man in the head as he fell back onto their bedroom floor unmoving.

“Alvin”. Hank grabbed his phone and quickly moved to the other side of the bed, putting pressure on the wound.

He barely managed to call 911 as his hands grew sticky with his husband's blood. Hank called for an ambulance, his voice shaking with fear as he pressed even harder on Al’s wound.

“Stay with me Darling, stay with me”.

“Hal?” Al wheezed as blood stained his lips.

“You're okay, you're going to be just fine, just stay with me”. Hank begged. Blood was staining their bed and onto the floor and Hank was aware of the mess the unknown man’s body was doing to the floor. None of that mattered right now, all that mattered was Alvin, Lexi and Michelle. Hank really couldn’t move right now to check up on them and could only pray they were okay.

“Hal? M tired”. Al’s wheezing only continued to get worse.

“No sleeping right now. You need to stay awake just keep looking at me”. Hank frantically tapped at Al’s cheek, smearing blood all over.

“The girls?” Al’s voice was hardly audible as he struggled more and more for breath.

“They're fine”. Hank didn’t actually know that but he wasn’t going to tell his husband that.

“I love you”. Al slurred.

“Don’t do this to me. You're so strong, so strong, Baby. Just a bit longer”. Hank was crying, his tears mixing with the blood that was everywhere. He heard sirens outside and could only let out the smallest sigh of relief as the paramedics entered the room. Especially when Al stopped breathing completely.

The paramedics took over and Hank could only watch helplessly as they started trying to get Al back. One paramedic started bagging him with oxygen while another started chest compressions.

He flinched as a hand landed on his arm gently pulling him out of the room.

“Trudy, I need to be with him”. Hank said desperately as he recognized one of his best friends' concerned face.

“You need to give them space to work”. Trudy wrapped an arm around Hank’s waist as they watched the paramedics work on Alvin.

“Lexi, Michelle?” Hank asked, hardly able to pull his eyes away from his husbands still body.

“Antonio and Erin went to check on them”. As soon as Trudy finished speaking Antonio came over to them.

“There okay. Definitely shaken up and worried”. Antonio replied as he took a look at his injured friend.

“He’s breathing, we're going to keep bagging him as he’s not breathing well enough without help. Were pretty positive the knife pierced his right lung”. One of the paramedics told Hank as the other two got Al ready to bring downstairs and into the awaiting ambulance.

Hank only nodded and followed them downstairs. He climbed into the ambulance with two of the paramedics as they loaded Alvin in and the third one started driving.

Al’s shirt was fully cut off as the paramedic not bagging started connecting monitors and starting an IV.

Hank could only focus on Al and the monitor measuring his heart beat hoping Alvin made it to the hospital.

xxxxxx

Pain

Pain

That was the only coherent thought Al could come up with as his eyes slowly opened. He was in what looked to be a treatment room. Through his blurry vision he could see several people. Oxygen was being pumped over his face and somewhere in the back of his brain Al knew his condition wasn’t good.

He remembered the creaking of the door, the pain, a scream, begging.

It was all blurry and he vaguely saw a nurse noticing he was awake as he continued slowly blinking.

“Detective, can you hear me?” Some part of him recognized Doctor Rhodes as his face appeared in Al’s vision.

Alvin wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to reply and only gave a weak nod.

“That’s good. We're going to bring you into surgery to repair the damage done to your chest and place a chest tube”. Al could only blankly stare at the roof. His eyes began closing again and the world once again went dark and pain free.

xxxxxx

Time had passed when Alvin next opened his eyes. The room he was in was quieter than the room he had previously been in. He tried to speak but instead found something in his throat that caused him to choke as he tried to lift a hand up to grab it.

“Alvin? Hey, hey it’s okay you're intubated I'm getting a doctor”. Hands grabbed at his arm pulling it back down to his side and away from the thing in his throat.

Al tried to calm down recognizing Trudy's voice. If she was here he knew he was safe.

Ten minutes later the breathing tube had been removed and had been switched for an oxygen mask. Al could only stare at Trudy as she sat beside his hospital bed. He had so many questions but was way too exhausted to attempt to ask them.

“Just get some more rest. You're safe now and everything will be explained”. Trudy reassured as she squeezed Al’s hand that didn’t have an IV in it.

Al hummed in response and before long was once again asleep.

xxxxxx

The next time Alvin woke up it was Hank at his side.

“Good evening Darling”. Hank greeted with a smile that Al knew was full of worry and fear.

“Hal”. The word was a struggle to get out through the oxygen mask and with his sore throat. He ended up in a coughing fit that felt like it was never going to end. He vaguely felt Hank running a hand down his arm as he whispered reassuring words. As soon as his coughing fit came to an end, Hank carefully removed the mask and placed a straw to Al’s lips.

“Small sips, we don’t want you to be sick”. Hank took the cup away after a couple sips and placed the mask back over Al’s face despite his groans of protest.

“What happened?” Al asked through the oxygen mask causing it to fog up.

“I don’t think right now is the right time to talk about that. You need to rest”.

“Hal, please. I just…. Lexi and Michelle are they okay”. Al’s voice became more desperate as he tried to sit and grab at the oxygen mask at the same time.

“Alvin, you need to stay still or you're going to rip your stitches. Lexi and Michelle are just fine”. It didn’t take much effort on Hank’s end to get Al laying down again.

“If you’ll stay still then I’ll tell you what happened”. Hank would rather wait but he knew it was probably better to talk now. And Alvin needed to be aware of his current condition.

“Robert Lee, who we arrested about fifteen years ago on charges of abuse against his wife and young child, was released from prison. I don’t know exactly why he came to the house but my best guess is he wanted revenge. He broke in the house and with us being used to the kids being up at night didn’t realize someone else was in the house. Lee came up to our room and stabbed you in the chest, hitting your right lung. He shot at me and I returned fire, killing him.
We got you to the hospital where you were rushed into surgery to repair the damage and insert a chest tube. They intubated you after surgery and three days into your recovery you came down with pneumonia. It’s been another week since then. They were able to remove the chest tube and are hopeful you’ll make a full recovery”.
Hank gave Al some time to take everything in once he finished talking. He knew he had given a lot of information and with Alvin in his current state it was highly possible he would have to explain some of it at a later date.

“You can rest now Sweetheart. We don’t need to talk, I’m aware the oxygen mask doesn't make that the easiest task around”.

“Can we talk later?” Alvin asked quietly, causing Hank to strain so he could hear. Hank gave a reassuring smile once Al’s words registered in his brain.

“Of course. Rest now Darling”. Hank perched on the edge of Al’s hospital bed as he reached down and pressed a kiss to Al’s forehead.

“I was scared”. Al mumbled as Hank pulled away but stayed on the bed and turned to better face Alvin.

“I was too”. Hank admitted as the memories of the last week and a half came rushing back.

“I was too”.

Chapter Text

Alvin’s nightmares started three days after he woke up. The pain medication he was on now wasn’t as strong and didn’t have him sleeping as long as the medication he was on when he first woke up. Hank had been there for the night as always when Al woke up with a scream causing doctors and nurses to run in the room as well as scaring the shit out of Hank. After it had been confirmed that Al had only had a particularly bad nightmare the room emptied out again.

“Sorry”. Al whispered. The oxygen mask had been switched for a nasal cannula the previous day and it made speaking much easier.

“It’s okay, we both knew it was going to happen”. Hank whispered as he sat on Al’s hospital bed.

“Are you having any?” Al knew the answer to his question but he wanted Hank to say it.

“I’m fine”.

“You watched me bleed out and thought I was going to die, we both know you're not fine”. Neither of them had ever really been fine but Alvin had always been worse off mentally so Hank rarely let Al worry about him.

“Like I said before, you scared me a lot and I’ve had a few but not as severe as yours”. That was probably not the full story but Al didn’t have it in him to argue right now.

“I don’t believe you, but I’ll stop for now. Lay with me?”

“Of course”. Hank tucked himself on the bed next to his husband. They both slept better together and even if neither were sleeping well it was always a bit better when they were together.

xxxxxx

Alvin’s nightmares only continued during his hospital stay. Sometimes they were of what actually happened that night, some were of Hank bleeding out or Lexi and Michelle. Those ones he usually woke up screaming or thrashing. Some weren’t as bad and Al usually woke up before anybody had to wake him. He was usually asleep before Hank and didn’t have an opportunity to see how bad Hank’s were until he was discharged which brought up a whole other set of problems.

“What’s the plan?” Alvin asked a few days before he was set to be discharged. He was already supposed to be out of the hospital but a couple days ago his oxygen levels had decreased causing him to be put back on oxygen and pushing his discharge back.

“The plan?” Hank asked turning from the newspaper he was reading to face Alvin.

“Well I’m pretty sure the house is a crime scene and I know you haven't left the hospital at all. So I’m wondering where we are planning to stay”.

“Trudy and Mouch offered us their spare room. Lexi and Michelle are going to stay with Erin and Jay until we get our place back. Though i’m not sure if any of us can go back there again”. Hank replied. That had been on Hank’s mind for a while. He wasn’t sure if he could go back to the bedroom and the bed where his husband almost died.

“I don’t think I can either. At least not our bedroom”.

“I say we stay at Dee’s for a bit and go from there. She only has one spare room but the girls are okay with sharing Erin and Jays spare bedroom”.

“Sounds good”. They both knew nothing was good right now but it was easier to pretend than face it.

xxxxxx

Alvin figured out how bad Hank’s nightmares actually were a day after he had been discharged and they had settled in Trudy and Mouch’s house.

Al had been reading that night not able to fall asleep yet while Hank had been sleeping for a few hours. He was thinking about calling it a night when Hank's begging reached his ears.

“No, no, stay with me”. He heard Hank beg from where the man was still sleeping next to him. The pain in his voice and his words didn’t make it hard for Alvin to figure out what he was reliving.

“Hal? Love, I'm here. Were safe everything is okay, I’m okay”. Al shook Hank’s shoulder as he continued reassuring Hank.

“Al?” Hank wrapped his arms around Al and both fell back into the bed as they cried. They had been in worst situations before but this had rocked both of them to the core. The very idea that it all could have been so much worse and that it’s a miracle Lee had picked their room first and not either of the girls.

“I’m here. I’m okay”. Alvin reassured. Hank leaning against him was causing his chest to start aching but none of that mattered right now.

All that mattered was that they were okay. Even if everything was far from fine, even if both were suffering in the aftermath, they had each other. Both of them had made it out even if it had come at a cost. They had healed before and could do it again.

Chapter Text

“I got you”. Hank mumbled as he helped Alvin stand for the first time since he’d been in the hospital and since the stabbing. Al had been getting more and more stir crazy over the last week and finally being cleared to get up was relieving. Unfortunately he had underestimated how easy it would be.

“Are you steady?” Hank asked quietly as Al tried to stay standing straight.

“Yeah”. He felt Hank move until he was next to Al only steadying him with one arm around Al’s waist instead of holding him upright like he had been.

“Washroom?” Hank asked, quickly glancing at Doctor Owen Parker to make sure that was okay before he turned back to his husband.

Al gave a small nod, suddenly feeling too light headed to attempt to speak. Was the room always this blurry? Sure Al didn’t have the best eyesight and Hank had been bugging him for awhile…

“Darling?” Al turned slightly as the arm around his waist tightened.

“I’m fine”. Al said as he willed his feet to move, it felt like there were weights around his ankles as Al tried to walk in a straight line. He was really regretting standing up from his hospital bed. He didn’t realize he was supposed to be dragging his IV stand along with him until the tugging in his hand alerted him. He had been to focused on not falling.

“I think we should wait until tomorrow. I don’t think you're ready yet”. Owen observed from where he was standing by the door.

“I can do this”. Al replied, turning a bit to grab the IV stand which helped balance him more.

“Just a few more steps”. Hank whispered just as the room grew more blurry making it harder for Al to walk. His stitches suddenly flared up in pain and Al felt the world start to tilt.

“Al?” He vaguely heard Hank shouting his name and Al could only assume he was swaying.

“M fine”. Al didn’t realize his words were coming out slurred as his legs started shaking even more than they had been.

Al felt himself falling despite Hank still holding him. He could only see blurry shapes until his eyes rolled back in his head and the world faded away.

xxxxxx

The next time Alvin woke up it was night time. Hank was asleep on the pull out couch across the room and Al wasn’t going to disturb him.
It only took a few minutes before the memories all came back and Al groaned quietly. Fainting was a sign of weakness and weakness was one thing Alvin hated. He could only be grateful he had passed out in front of Hank and his doctor and not anybody on his team. Them seeing him in a hospital bed was bad enough and as much weakness as Al was willing to show.

He knew fainting was a possibility. That he should've sat back down when Owen had said to but the need to prove he was okay was stronger. Al knew it would take time but he was willing to fight for his recovery.

And when he made it to the bathroom and back a few days later, Al saw the smile Hank gave him and the happiness of the moment made him forget about his thoughts of weakness and failure for a few minutes.

Chapter Text

Hank knew the signs of Al avoiding him and isolating himself pretty well. After almost thirty years of knowing him and years of marriage Hank knew the signs like he knew the sky was blue. Hank could only hope to talk to Al before it got worse than it already was.

“Darling?”

“Yeah?” Alvin replied, turning from the book he was reading, wincing slightly as the movement put pressure on his still healing wounds.

“Are you okay?” Hank knew the answer and he knew the answer he was going to get but he still asked.

“I’m fine, I mean other than the mess that is my abdomen I’m peachy”. Sarcasm was heavy in Al’s voice and Hank barely avoided flinching at Al’s mention of his injuries. Al was able to talk about it however he wanted.

“You're isolating yourself and avoiding me. This is the first time we’ve actually talked all day and neither of us have left”.

“I was stabbed a few weeks ago so excuse me if I don’t always feel like talking”.

“Alvin, that’s not what I’m saying and you know it. You slept in the spare room last night, you won't let me help you change your bandages and disappear into the bathroom, you eat your meals outside and when I offered to come with you I got snapped at. I know you need time but if you think I’m sitting back while you pull away then unfortunately you're mistaken”. Hank saw the way Al closed off even more and hated it.

“I’m going to sleep in the spare room again”. Alvin responded as he stood up and headed down the hallway. He shut and locked the door behind him and Al wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed when Hank didn't try to follow him.

Alvin knew it wasn’t fair to take everything out on Hank. He had spent weeks telling Hank that his arrest and stabbing wasn’t Hank’s fault but Al was certainly acting like it was. He just wasn't sure how to talk about all this. Some part of Al didn’t want Hank treating him like he was fragile. He knew his injuries were severe but Al also knew if he kept to himself then Hank wouldn’t see just how bad this had been for him physically and mentally.

xxxxxx

“Your boy’s worried about you”. Alvin looked up as the spare room door opened and Trudy entered the room, sitting down next to Al on the bed.

“He shouldn’t be”.

“Have you changed your bandages today?’ Trudy asked next, ignoring the questioning and confused look Al gave her.

“I have”.

“Good, that means we can talk”. Trudy stated.

“I don’t want nor do I need to talk”. Alvin said as he met his friend's gaze.

“And I don’t really care. I know that you know isolating yourself doesn’t work and we won’t let it happen anymore. We’ve almost lost you one too many times because of your tendencies to pull away when things get hard”.

“Well I’m sorry for how I was raised”. Al apologized only getting an unimpressed look in return for his sarcasm.

“Alvin. We're worried and we respect your need for space but isolating yourself is not happening”. Trudy knew this might not be the best way to talk about this but that it was one of the few ways that sometimes worked for expressing their concern.

“I don’t know what to do, Trudy. I- If I let him help me and let him see everything then he’ll think I'm fragile and I don’t want that. If I stay away then he won’t need to see me like this”. Al didn’t know why he gave in that easily. Probably since he knew Trudy would keep going all day.

“Alvin, Hank has seen you hurt and sick even before you were married and is most definitely going to see you in less than ideal states when you spend most of your time together”. Trudy took a deep breath as she looked at her friend and got ready to share one of her concerns with her own marriage.

“When me and Randall got together I was worried about the exact same thing. I hadn’t let somebody see me in a fragile state in so long that it felt foreign and weird. And it still does at times, but it’s going to happen. All Hank wants is for you to be okay, that’s all we all want. And we're not naive enough to think you're going to be fine right away or ever again but he only wants to help you. For him to do that you have to let him in”. Trudy was pretty proud of that speech especially when it looked like Al was actually listening to her.

“I know that I really do. It’s just easier said than done. He’s already seen the wounds and helped me in the hospital but now that I can do it myself it feels needy to ask him to help if I can do it. And then of course him actually seeing me in pain again when I know how much it affected him the first time”.

“It’s going to affect him. It bothers me when I see Randall in pain and that happens more often than I like to admit. It’s just part of the deal with marriage, but Hank loves you and he wants to help you so just think about yourself right now. What do you need or want?”

“A nap”. Al said quietly, getting a startled laugh out of his friend.

“Then you have a nap. I’ll be downstairs with your boy”. Trudy stood up and both would deny the kiss she pressed to his forehead until their dying days.

The door closed behind her and Alvin relaxed back into the pillows. He knew he should talk to Hank and that it would make things a bit better for both of them. It was just hard for Alvin to do. For him to let Hank take care of him even if he didn’t need as much help anymore. He knew isolating himself wasn’t going to happen for very long before Hank and Trudy stepped in, and some part of him was glad they did. As Alvin closed his eyes he decided to talk to Hank when he woke up.

Chapter Text

Alvin’s best realizations had always come half conscious in the back of an ambulance. And he really shouldn’t be surprised that it wasn't much different this time. He was laying on the gurney in the back of the ambulance as it sped to the closest hospital. He was pretty sure a paramedic had mentioned Med and Al was relieved even if he was pretty sure everybody hated him at this point.

He winced in pain as the clothes he had on were peeled away from the mess that was his abdomen. He heard a quiet apology from one of the paramedics and was grateful for it. Especially with the one guard glaring at him and watching him like a hawk as if Al could run away right now. He could hardly keep his eyes open for god sakes.

His thoughts moved away from that and to his current predicament. Which wasn't too good. Sure it was what Alvin expected to happen, cops and prison didn’t mix very well but that didn’t mean he was happy about it.
But Al knew he wouldn’t do anything differently if given the chance. He saw the looks that were being exchanged and had counted at least eight times the knife had punctured his skin. And that wasn’t even considering all the vital organs that were possibly harmed. He wasn’t making it out alive.

He hadn’t recognized the inmate who had done it which probably meant it was a hit called. Al was betting Denny Woods had something to do with it. He was a sacrifice in Denny's grand plan. If the man got rid of him then he was one step closer to Hank. Al really didn’t care. His sacrifice was for Hank, Erin and Justin. He was protecting his family and he would do that to his dying breath.

Unconsciousness lurked above him as Al was wheeled into Med and to a treatment room.

“I got him”. Al vaguely heard Will Halsteads voice as the doctor appeared in his sight and he was once again moved.

“We got you Alvin. Hang in there Buddy”. He faded again, his eyes closing. They opened again to his husband shouting his name.

“They're going to fix you up Darling. You’ll be okay”. Alvin looked at his husband's face and knew he would make the same decisions hundreds of times over.

“I got this Hal”. It hurt to speak but he had to say something. Did he have it? Has he ever had it?

This is how it always was going to end. Were they ever going to have a happy ending? Was it always going to end like this?

A kiss on his forehead and a whispered I love you snapped Al out of his pain induced thoughts. The doors closed and he was wheeled into an OR. He was once again moved and Alvin didn’t care what happened as long as they stopped touching him.

A mask was placed on his face and Alvin knew this was it. He was a sacrifice in Denny’s plan and was only an obstacle in Denny’s way.

Was this a good thing? Or was his sacrifice only making it easier for Denny Woods to get to Hank? Alvin didn’t know and he didn’t think he ever would.

Chapter Text

“It’s a newly abandoned restaurant. Previous owners were selling drugs out of here, got caught and fled. Police confiscated everything and I guess the place was just left abandoned. Good place to kill someone”. Jay explained to Alvin as they walked through the restaurant they had been called to. People nearby had called in after they heard a scream and gunshots. Sure enough Intelligence found a cooling body inside.

“I’d say so”. Al commented as they headed into the kitchen where they were supposed to be looking for anything that could help them solve the murder. Everyone else was spread around the restaurant and the land it was on.

“Did you hear that?” Alvin asked suddenly as a baby's cry filled the room. Both detectives pulled out their guns and turned to the source of the sound. A walk in freezer.

They slowly headed over there as Al carefully opened the door and headed inside. As Jay went to follow him a cry from the other side of the room had Jay turning to check that sound out.

“It’s just a phone playing the sound of a baby's cry”. Al shouted to his partner. It was something that Al really shouldn’t have fallen for and hit himself for being that gullible. He turned to leave the freezer right as the door slammed shut and wouldn’t open again no matter how hard he tried.

“Alvin?”

“It won’t open on my side. I need you to try”. Al called back as he leaned against one of the shelves feeling the chill start to set in. Of course the abandoned restaurant still had their power and freezer running. God you would think the police would have shut that off.

“It won’t open. Let me guess the thing is on?” Jay asked.

“Of course. At least 0 in here. Probably colder”. It was early summer so Al had on a long sleeve shirt. Definitely not something he wore in 0 degree weather.

“I’ll get everyone in here. See if we can turn the power off so you won’t freeze”.

Al didn’t respond, just looked around. It wasn’t overly big and the only thing sitting on the shelves was the phone he had already discovered. Alvin grabbed it but found nothing interesting on it besides the Youtube video of a baby crying.

“Al?” His husband's panicked voice was heard next and Al tried to reassure him the best he could even as he started shivering.

“I’m okay Hal”. Al said, hoping Hank could hear him.

“We can’t shut the power off. The door is locked and won’t open for us. 51 is on their way to get the door open. You just have to hang in there Darling”. Hank relayed and Al knew this wasn’t good.

“I’ll do my best”. Al promised as his shivering got worse.

“That’s all I can ask”. Hank was scared, Al knew that and he couldn’t say he also wasn’t. Being locked in a freezer of an abandoned restaurant was a new one for Alvin.

It was definitely colder than Al had originally thought. That became apparent the longer he sat there.

Hank checked in every minute and Al made sure to respond. Fifteen minutes since the door had locked is the first time Al didn’t respond.

“Alvin? Darling I need a response”. Al was trying he really was but he was so tired all of a sudden. At this point he was sitting on the ground and as exhaustion set into his bones he curled up trying to keep himself warm.

“Hal? M cold”. His words were slurred as he spoke and looked around the small freezer.

“I know Sweetheart. I know just a little longer. Five minutes”.

Alvin could do that. Especially when Hank sounded so scared. He needed to. Al vaguely realized he couldn’t remember exactly why he was curled up on the floor of a freezer but it didn’t really matter. He just needed to focus on Hank’s voice. Even if that became increasingly more difficult.

New voices joined in and Al could no longer hear Hank’s voice. Had Hank left him? If Hank left Al had no reason to stay awake. Especially when breathing became a much harder task and all Al wanted was a nap. He was freezing and Alvin had never been a fan of the cold but he definitely wasn’t now. With that thought his eyes fully closed.

Just as Al gave into unconsciousness the door opened. He was pulled out of the freezing cold and into warm arms. But none of it mattered anymore, not after Hank had already left him. Al let his eyes close not hearing the begging and pleading from his husband. He was warm and safe now, Al vaguely noted as he went limp in Hank’s arms.

Chapter Text

It was three days into Alvin’s recovery when his condition took a turn for the worst. Hank and Lexi had been quietly sitting next to him, neither talking for a while before Lexi finally spoke.

“Hank? Doesn’t Dad look a bit flushed?” Lexi asked quietly as she noticed how flushed her dad’s face looked.

Hank stood up from where he had been sitting, reaching over to place his hands on Al’s cheeks and forehead feeling the heat coming off his husband's body.

“Lex go get a doctor”. Hank said his voice tinged with panic.

Lexi quickly stood up and ran out of the room leaving Hank with his unconscious husband.

“He has a fever?” Doctor Parker asked as he entered the room with a nurse, who grabbed a thermometer.

“I’m pretty sure”. Hank replied as they stood back and let the medical professionals do their job.

“Come on. We need to let them do their job”. Hank said softly as he led Lexi out of the room and to the waiting room. While he wanted nothing more than to stay with his husband, Hank also knew Lexi didn’t need to see her dad like that and that Alvin wouldn’t want her to.

“He can’t die”. Lexi rasped nearly thirty minutes later. Hank had called Trudy and asked her to notify Michelle and he knew both of them were on their way.

“Alvin’s a fighter. He always has been”. That wasn’t nearly as reassuring to Hank as it was to Lexi but it didn’t matter. He knew Al was a fighter but everyone had limits and Hank was worried this injury and attack was Al’s.

xxxxxx

“How is he?” Hank asked as Owen came over to them. Hank and Lexi had been joined by Trudy, Michelle and Antonio and the small group had been impatiently waiting. Especially as more and more time went by.

“Alvin’s developed Ventilator-associated-pneumonia which is where his fever has come from. We started him on antibiotics but with his already weakened lungs it’s going to be a rough few days. Unfortunately survival isn’t guaranteed but us catching it early greatly increases Alvin’s chances of survival and recovery. You guys can head back in there now”. Owen hated this part of his job. Especially when the people he was treating had become close friends.

“Thank you”. Hank said and Owen gave a nod before leaving once again. Hank turned and embraced Lexi who was crying while Antonio wrapped a hand around Michelle whose face was blank but her eyes showed all her emotions.

“You and Aunt Trudy should go in. I think me and Elle should get something to eat”. Lexi said after a few minutes of hugging her step dad.

“Sounds like a good idea. I’ll go with them”. Antonio responded from where he had been sitting quietly. Beside him Michelle gave a small nod of agreement.

Five minutes later Hank and Trudy were walking the familiar route back to Al’s hospital room. Trudy waited outside and let Hank have a couple minutes with his husband. He needed them.

“Hey Sweetheart”. Hank kept his voice quiet not wanting to disturb Alvin, even if the man was intubated and in a coma.

Hank cupped Al’s too warm cheek as he looked at Al’s still body. His chest rose and fell in rhythm with the ventilator and if Hank ignored all the medical equipment and the breathing tube he could almost pretend they were safe at home in their bed.

“You have to hang in there for us. For the girls, the unit, me. None of us could handle losing you. Not like this”. Hank whispered as he perched carefully on the edge of the bed.

He heard Trudy enter the room and sit in one of the chairs next to the bed.

“Here”. Hank looked over as Trudy spoke and tucked a teddy bear under Al’s arm. Adam had bought it for the injured man the day Al was admitted.

“We can’t forget the bear”. Hank joked as he made sure it was secured under Al’s arm.

“Ruzek spent big bucks on that. Stuff from the gift shops are expensive”. Trudy replied with a small smile which faded as she took a good look at her friend who looked even worse than he had before.

“You just can’t stay away from trouble”. Trudy whispered as she grabbed Al’s hand and squeezed it.

Silence came back over the room and neither sergeant felt like breaking it.

Chapter Text

Touch starved was a term Alvin came across one day by accident. He had been going down a goggle rabbit hole trying to figure out why he suddenly craved any and all touch he received. He had never been a touchy or clingy person and didn’t know why this was starting now.

It made sense though. Especially since his marriage continued getting worse and finally ending in a divorce. He hadn’t received any physical touch then and didn't realize the negative effects. He couldn’t exactly ask his friends for touch. Even though him, Hank and Trudy had known each other for twenty five years, Alvin didn’t want them to look at him any differently. Especially with the crush he had on Hank.

With those thoughts Alvin closed his laptop and turned his lamp off. No use thinking about that. Regardless if he was touch starved or not Alvin was doing fine on his own. He always had.

xxxxxx

With that realization in mind Al kept going. He treasured every bit of physical contact he received. Even if it was a pat on the back or a quick hug it usually made Al’s day much better.

It all kinda came to a halt when he got injured on a case one day. It hadn’t been that serious of an injury but serious enough that Al was unconscious when his team found him, and taken to the hospital. He had woken up half way through the ambulance ride to find Hank next to him holding his hand.

The hand holding continued throughout his short hospital stay and was the start of something new. Despite his happiness at the starting of a relationship with Hank, the worry that he would be too much was present no matter how hard he tried to get rid of it.

xxxxxx

Him and Hank had decided to take their relationship slow. Both hadn’t been in a relationship since their own marriages and this was new territory and neither wanted to mess it up.

They slept over at each other's house a few days a week and Alvin didn’t realize just how much he missed sleeping with someone. He tried not to snuggle and touch Hank too much, not wanting Hank to get uncomfortable. Hank was a pretty touchy person as well but Alvin didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

“Hey? Alvin, are you with me?” Alvin looked up to meet Hank’s worried face one night. The movie they had been watching was paused and Al briefly wondered how long Hank had been calling him for.

“Sorry”. He had been thinking about whether moving closer to Hank was alright. Having Hank so close but not able to touch him made him feel even worse. The familiar feeling of anxiety came back full force and Alvin did remember anxiety being a symptom of touch starvation. If that’s what this was. It’s possible Al was just over stressing the situation. Maybe he was just needy?

“Darling? You're worrying me”. He turned back to face Hank and hit himself for continuing to worry his boyfriend.

“I’m fine”. Hank wrapped his arm around Al’s waist and Alvin couldn't help but lean into it.

“Come here”. Hank quietly urged Alvin to lay down until his head was leaning against Hank’s chest.

“Good?” Hank asked, seeing the way Al leaned into him.

“I don’t want to be needy”. Al whispered his voice hardly above a whisper.

“Alvin, you're not being needy. Not at all. Wanting touch isn’t needy. Just because we're taking it slow doesn’t mean you have to be afraid of wanting physical contact. Not with me”. Hank didn’t think he knew the full story but he knew enough to understand some of what Al was saying.

“Thank you”. Al said as they finished watching the movie together.

Chapter Text

“Have a nice night”. Al called as he left the grocery store that night. He hadn’t realized how short they were on food until he and Hank got home that night. Alvin had run out to the grocery store while Hank stayed back. Al had always rathered going to get groceries alone. It gave him time to think.

He was loading up the groceries in his trunk when he heard footsteps. He turned around only to meet the face of a man he had never seen before. The next second Al was knocked unconscious

xxxxxx

“Oh look who's finally awake”. Alvin slowly regained consciousness to an unfamiliar voice. As his eyes fully opened Alvin saw two men standing on the other side of the room. He recognized one of them from the parking lot.

“I thought you would never wake. We were starting to get impatient. You shouldn’t let us get impatient Detective”. The guy that had brought him here said.

“What do you want?” Al’s head ached worse than it had in a while and he was guessing the guy had let him fall to the concrete.

“Hank Voight. Heard he was your husband”. The second one replied with a smirk on his face that Al knew brought nothing good for him.

“You heard wrong”. Al wouldn’t say anything that could risk Hank’s life.

“Sure thing Detective. Just know lying gets you nowhere”. The first one said before they both left. Once the room was empty again Alvin took stock of his situation. He was sitting on a mattress that was between two pipes which his arms were tied to. His feet were also tied together and Al could feel dried blood on his face. He hadn’t recognized either man and was pretty sure they only knew him because of Hank.

“I should get comfortable”. Alvin muttered to himself as he leaned backwards hoping his head would stop aching.

xxxxxx

“I’ll set it up, Jonathan. You wake our friend”.

“Make sure he gets the link. Or this whole thing will be for nothing Andy”.

At least he had names now, Al thought as his eyes slowly opened just as the first guy came in. Jonathan. He had a baseball bat in one hand and a knife in the other, both things he placed down as he came over to Alvin.

“Andy, I'm going to need your help here to get him ready”. Jonathan shouted and Al winced as his head throbbed even more.

“It’s all set up. Our dear sergeant should be getting the link any minute. And with his boy missing I figure he’ll open it”. Andy said as he set a laptop up on the small table across from where Al was. Both men pulled the mattress out from under Al leaving him on the hard cold floor. As Al’s eyes focused on the laptop he realized there was a live video going.

“He’s on”. Andy reported with a grin as he grabbed the bat.

Alvin didn’t have time to react before the bat came down hard on his chest. He heard a crack and barely stopped from crying out in pain. The bat came again and again and by the third hit he screamed. His scream seemed to satisfy them as they stopped the assault on his ribs and moved down to his leg. Al tried to move but it was useless as the bat came down on his left leg. It alternated between Andy’s bat and Jonathan's foot as he heard more of his bones break. His leg was facing the wrong way by the end and Al wanted to vomit.

He vaguely heard them leave as the door was shut behind them. Al wanted to curl up and could only moan in pain. He could only hope Hank found him before it was too late.

xxxxxx

“Found anything yet?” Hank asked as he came back upstairs, Trudy on his heels. It had been twelve hours since Al didn’t come home and they had no trail.

“No. You get the security footage from the grocery store?” Antonio responded.

“I sent it to you”.

Antonio nodded as he pulled the footage up. The team gathered around his desk as it started playing. The footage didn’t give them much. Al was knocked out and taken in a car but they didn’t get a look at the man or the license plate on the attackers car.

They continued looking for anyone that would want to take Alvin. Another hour had gone by when Hank’s phone dinged and he found the link of a live facebook video. He clicked it and the next minute the team was watching the live video of Alvin's torture.

It was a room either an unfinished basement or a warehouse of sorts. Alvin was laying on the floor, his hands chained to pipes next to him and his feet tied together with rope. He looked relatively unharmed but Hank had the sinking feeling that was all about to change.

“Barrett. God damn it I can't remember his first name”. The unit turned as Trudy spoke the woman in question focusing intently on the men that appeared on the screen.

“Charlie Barrett. He killed his girlfriend and young son. Alvin was out sick that week”. Trudy said as she remembered more and more of that case. Recognition and dread appeared on Hank's face as he realized exactly why Alvin had been taken.

“The man in the blue shirt is Jonathan Barrett, Charlie's father. Andrew is the other man and was Charlie's uncle. Both were questioned and said they didn’t know anything”. Hank added as the details came back to him.

“You took Charlie to the silos. This is about revenge”. Trudy said the thing Hank didn’t want to say aloud.

Nobody got a chance to say anything else as Andy grabbed a bat and smashed it against Al’s chest. Hank watched in horror as the bat came down several times until Alvin finally screamed, the sound making them all ill. Andy moved the bat down to Al’s leg and the team could only watch helplessly as he smashed his bat into Al’s leg. Jonathan joined in landing solid kicks to the same leg. The sound of breaking bones echoed across the room and Hank had to look away as another bone broke. Jonathan came over and they heard the first words from these monsters.

“I would find your boy soon Voight before you're planning a funeral”. The video stopped and they had all been too horrified to try to track where it was coming from.

xxxxxx

The pain only got worse as time went on. By the time Jonathan and Andy returned Al’s face was tear stained and the pain had only got more severe.

“I hope you're ready for round two”. Andy grinned as they started the laptop up again.

“Go to hell”. Alvin rasped the words taking everything out of him.

“Well we were going to give you some water but it sounds like you don’t want it”. Jonathan said the same grin on his face as he dumped a bottle of water all over the ground by Al’s feet.

Al moaned which only gave them more satisfaction as Andy grabbed the bat again.

“It wouldn’t be very nice of us to only break one leg would it? Jon be a dear and send the link”.

Jonathan moved over and started the live video waiting once again for Hank to join.

“The gag, Andy. We don’t want the neighbors to come investigating again”. Jonathan reminded his brother as Andy lifted up the bat.

“Of course, of course. No hard feelings Detective, but the neighbors came to investigate the sound yesterday. Thought they heard screams. Told him it was just our movie”. Andy grabbed a roll of duct tape while Jonathan had a piece of cloth. Both men knelt down next to him. Jonathan shoved the cloth in his mouth while Andy secured it with way more duct tape than necessary. Once the ducktape was keeping his mouth shut Andy and Jonathan began there torture.

Just as they had the day before, the two men started swinging the bat and landing solid kicks to his leg. Al weakly moved his leg out of the way causing the bat to hit the ground. That earned him a punch to the face causing fresh blood to gush down his face and onto the duct tape.

“Give me the duct tape Drew”. Jonathan said harshly as he knelt down next to the bound and restrained man.

Once the duct tape was in his hand, Jonathan began covering Al’s eyes with it leaving his world dark.

“He can see what we're doing. I want the pain to be a surprise”. Jonathan explained getting a nod of approval from his brother.

“Good thinking Jon”.

The torture continued and once they were done with his leg Al thought it was finally over. He definitely didn’t expect the knife that was shoved into his stomach. Twice in his stomach and once in his hip before it seemed they moved back to the bat. His right arm that was still tied to the pipe was hit and Al heard the audible crack of his wrist breaking. He tried to cry out but couldn’t get anything but a weak moan out as more and more tears fell down his blood stained face.

Finally he fell unconscious and felt himself fading away. The voices and pain became a distance memory and for that Alvin was grateful.

xxxxxx

Antonio had watched people die. He had watched them bleed out, had watched them drop dead in front of him but this felt like the worst thing he had ever seen.

This was the second link they had been sent and it was just as bad as the first. This time they made sure to track where it was coming from but that didn’t help the horror that had filled all of them as the men continued torturing and beating their friend. Seeing Alvin writhe around in pain while not being able to see or talk and only lay there as his bones broke was horrible. Antonio reached out and squeezed Hank's shoulder as tears welled up in the man's eyes. Nothing could make this better until they found Alvin and got him help.

As Al was stabbed Antonio wondered if they would find him in time. He knew time was ticking rabidly. These men were not patient.

xxxxxx

Hands on his face caused Alvin to flinch violently as he tried his hardest to get away while still restrained.

“Darling? Darling it’s me, it’s Hank. Darling we need to get this tape off”. The tape was quickly pulled off and Al could see Hank next to him. Jonathan and Andy were both dead on the other side of the room but Al didn’t pay any more attention to them as he turned back to Hank.

“Erin and Jay are going to untie your hands while Kevin is going to untie your feet”. Hank explained softly though he could tell Alvin barely understood half of what he said.

Even if they were as gentle as possible, Alvin still cried out as his broken bones were jostled. His vision blurred and he felt Hank squeeze his good hand trying to keep him awake and conscious.

“Al? The ambulance is almost here”. Al saw Adam kneel down next to Hank as he looked at his mentor in worry.

“Hurts. Everything hurts”. Alvin gasped out. He didn’t care about not showing weakness. Not when three out of four of his limbs and several ribs were broken. Not when hands placed pressure on his stab wounds and he screamed again. His scream grew weaker in volume as his grip on Hank’s hand loosened.

Paramedics rushed downstairs and as they moved him onto the stretcher Alvin lost consciousness as the pain all became way too much for him.

xxxxxx

Beep

“Darling? Are you waking up?”

Beep

“Trudy go get the doctor he's opening his eyes”.

Beep

Pain

“There we go. I’m here Sweetheart. You're safe now. We’ve got you, I promise”.

“Hal”. He hurt. Good god he hurt.

“I know Sweetheart. They have you on pain medication but they were worried it wouldn’t be enough”. Hank explained as Al’s tear filled eyes focused on him.

“Hurts. Hal make it stop”. Al begged as the pain got worse. Everything hurt. Al didn’t think he had ever felt pain like this before.

He once again lost consciousness as Trudy and a doctor entered the room.

xxxxxx

“How bad?” Al thinks it had to have been a couple days since he first woke up. The pain was better and he felt like he could finally stay awake for more than a few minutes.

“You had a mild concussion, two stab wounds to the stomach which thankfully didn’t hit anything vital. However one of your several broken ribs caused your lung to collapse. Your wrist was a clean break and should heal okay”. Hank paused and Alvin realized the only injuries that hadn’t been mentioned were his legs and hip.

“Your legs were broken in several places and even after surgery the doctors don’t believe you’ll ever regain your full mobility, especially with your hip wound causing permanent damage. You’ll always need assistance walking”. A doctor had offered to tell Alvin his list of injuries but Hank needed to do it. He owed Alvin that much.

“There goes my job”. Al said bitterly. He knew him making it out alive was a miracle in itself but Al’s job had been his whole life for almost thirty years.

“I wish they had just killed me”. Al said even if he knew Hank would make him talk to a therapist or psychiatrist after saying that. It didn’t matter. He was in a shit ton of pain and would never work as a cop again if it didn’t involve being behind a desk. His recovery was going to be long and even then it wouldn’t be enough in the end.

“You can cry”. Hank chose to ignore Al’s previous statement right now. The man had been tortured for days and was mentally and physically struggling and would for the rest of his life.

“Why did it take so long to find me?” Al asked through sobs.

“Trudy remembered their names but they weren’t in any of the properties under their name. Only when the second link was sent did we track it and finally find you”. Hank explained as he squeezed Al’s good arm one of the only places he wasn’t hurt and even then his wrist had been rubbed raw from the restraints.

“I’m so tired”. Al muttered as his sobs grew quiet and he tried to get as comfortable as physically possible. He just wanted to forget everything.

“Sleep Darling”.

Al gave a small nod as with sleep came no pain and that’s all Alvin wanted right now.

xxxxxx

A recovery where Alvin knew he would never truly recover felt discouraging every step of the way. As expected a week after being admitted Alvin talked to a psychiatrist. He would never admit it, but it had helped. Alvin wasn’t ready to say that outloud yet but it hadn’t been the worst talk ever. He had been in therapy before but it definitely had been a while. He only went if he was forced so he could continue working.

“I’m retiring”. Alvin stated halfway into week two of his hospital stay. He knew his only options were retirement or a desk job and Alvin couldn’t see himself doing that.

“Can we throw you a retirement party at least?” Trudy asked without missing a beat. She knew Al didn’t want her or Hank making it a big deal.

“A small one”. Al couldn’t fully disagree. He knew it was happening no matter what he said. “Not for a while though. I want to at least get these casts off first”.

“Of course Darling. Take as much time as you need. And I’m sure you can find something to do to keep you busy once you’ve healed some''. Hank knew this was the decision Al was going to make. He couldn’t see Al taking a desk job no matter how much he liked being a cop and working.

“How are you feeling?” Trudy asked after they had fallen into silence. She got a glare in return and held her hands up in surrender.

“I know you hate the question, Alvin. I do try to keep it to a minimum”.

“Three of my limbs are broken and my ribs still ache. So peachy”.

“That’s what I thought”. Alvin had yet to answer that question with anything but sarcasm and none of them expected anything else.

Silence once again came over the room and none of them tried to break it again.

xxxxxx

It was nearly a year later before the retirement party happened. Alvin was already officially retired and working at a small bookshop close to his home, but he hadn’t wanted the party to happen until he was at least walking with crutches or a cane. He had a cane but used the crutches on his worst days and unfortunately the party landed on one of those days.

“I can do this”. Al muttered to himself as he waited for Hank to finish getting ready.

Ten minutes later they were off to Trudy’s house. It was just the unit that was present and that was enough for Alvin.

“Bad day?” Trudy whispered as the two men headed into their house where everyone already was.

“Yeah. I’ll probably sit for most of it”. Al responded just as quietly. To their credit nobody said anything as Antonio grabbed the crutches and found a spot for them. Al didn’t even protest the help as he settled into the couch, Hank at his side.

“Read any good books lately?” Adam teased and Al only flipped him off. They had all been pretty supportive of his part time job and Al had also popped in the district a few times once he finally got Hank going back to work. Not as much times as Al tried to but he couldn’t handle being reminded of what he could no longer do even more than he already was.

The conversation thankfully shifted away from Al and he listened as everyone talked between themselves. It was a nice party and ending to his career. By the time they got home that night Alvin was glad he had chosen to go even if he had been hesitant at first.

The rest of the night was nice but when Al woke up the next morning his legs hurt even more than usual and his hip throbbed with a pain he had thought had faded.

“I hate it”. Alvin rasped as Hank helped him swallow the pain pills.

“I know Sweetheart”. Hank knew there days were going to be filled with good and bad days. Some days Al seemed like he was heading in the right direction and the next he could hardly move the pain was so bad.

“I’m sorry”. Al said a few hours later. Hank turned to look at him in surprise thinking he had been asleep.

“What on earth are you sorry for?”

“Making you take care of me. It’s always going to be like this and you shouldn’t have to care for me”. Al protested. The thought had been on his mind for a while.

“Honey I’m way too tired to repeat our exact vows but this is exactly what I signed up for. Caring for you is what I want to do and I’m going to help you”. Hank could only hope Alvin believed him.

“I just hate the unpredictability from day to day. Some days I think I’m fine and then other days it feels like I just woke up in the hospital”.

“I’ll help you however I can. Always Darling”. Hank promised.

Al only gave a small smile as he curled up into Hank’s side. The smile faded as the pain got worse despite the medication, and Hank could only whisper reassuring words and praises until Alvin fell asleep.

Hank didn’t care what he would have to do, he would help and take care of Alvin until the day he died.

Chapter Text

“That wasn’t very nice”. Alvin wheezed as his back hit harshly into the brick wall of the district. As his vision cleared he met the eyes of Denny Woods.

“I’ll give you one more chance Olinsky. One more chance to turn Hank in”.

“Let me go”. Al turned trying to get away from the hands holding him back. His head was pushed into the wall and he had a feeling Denny wasn’t just going to let him walk away without consequence.

“I don’t mind going for you. It’s no skin off my back to destroy you both”. Denny said as he looked at the man in front of him.

“Then I'm not sure why were having this conversation”. That seemed to be the wrong thing to say if Denny's reaction was anything to go off. He was pushed to the ground and his attempts at getting away were halted from the kicks that started. The sudden attack stopped as quick as it had started leaving Alvin alone, curled up and wheezing in the parking lot.

“Detective Olinsky? Are you alright? Cam, go get Sergeant Platt”. Al didn’t recognize the cop who helped him sit up but clearly the cop had recognized him. Al looked up suddenly as the guy's words to his friend registered in Al’s brain.

“Don’t get Trudy. I’m fine”. Al got himself to his feet ignoring the pain in his ribs. This wasn’t worth involving Trudy over. If she knew then Hank would find out and the already shitty situation would only get worse.

“Detective you really should get checked out”. The cop protested and Al ignored him as he limped to his car which was thankfully not far away. He got in as quickly as he physically could and drove off before Trudy could see him. He wasn’t worth her worry and she would only ask for answers he couldn’t give.

When Al arrived home he quickly headed inside thankful Hank was in his office with the door shut probably finishing up paperwork. Alvin headed up to their bedroom and to the bathroom to access the damage. He made sure to lock the door as he turned to face the mirror.

His chest was already starting to bruise especially around his ribs. Al carefully prodded at his ribs finding at least two of them broken. His ankle started protesting and Al remembered the kick that had landed straight on the limb. He got himself sitting on the edge of the bathtub and stretched his leg out in front of him. Alvin was almost certain his ankle was only sprained and let out a sigh of relief. Al usually wore socks to bed anyway so that would be easy to hide.

Al started a bath and soon climbed in. The hot water soothed his aching and bruised body as he thought about what had happened earlier.

Al had expected Denny to corner him at some point. Especially as he continued building a case against Al. Alvin knew he didn’t have much time left and was prepared. His affairs were all in order and all that was left was to wait until his ultimate arrest and imprisonment. He made sure to soak in the moments with Hank, Michelle and the unit as he had a feeling it was all coming to an end. Sure Al knew that as soon as he was arrested Hank would turn himself in, no matter what Al said but Al also knew he might not make it that long.

His thoughts were interrupted as Hank knocked on the door.

“I’m going to order Pizza if that’s okay with you Darling?” Hank asked through the door.

“Sounds good Hal. Our normal?”

“Of course. I’ll come back when it arrives”. Hank responded.

“I’m getting out soon so don’t bother”. Even if Al wanted to stay in the bath longer he knew that if he got out within the next couple minutes Hank wouldn’t see him injured.

“Okay”. Al heared footsteps walking away and a minute later got out. He wrapped a towel around himself glad Hank wasn’t in their bedroom. He got changed making sure no injuries were visible and slowly headed downstairs being mindful of his ankle injury.

Dinner was nice and Alvin savored every moment. Bed was a relief as the pain started getting worse and when Hank headed into the shower, Al took it as a moment to grab the Tylenol. Once the pain had faded some and Hank had joined him in bed Alvin soon fell asleep trying to forget everything that had happened that day and everything that was going to happen.

Chapter Text

Alvin knew the warning signs of a migraine extremely well. He had been having them for years and more frequently than he liked to admit. He felt one coming on and had a feeling it was going to be a bad one.

“Hank, do you know where my migraine medication is?” Alvin asked one night. His head had already started throbbing and he wanted to ease the pain before it got more severe.

“Has the attack already started?” Hank responded as he went into the bathroom.

“Yeah”.

“I think you're all out Darling. Let’s get you in bed and I’ll see what I can get in the morning”. Hank hated that he couldn't ease his husbands pain knowing the migraine attacks were always worse without the medication.

Alvin only hummed as he settled in bed. He closed his eyes and heard Hank come back into their room. He cracked an eye open to watch Hank. His husband made sure the blinds were closed and the lights were all off. Their garbage can was emptied and placed beside Al, and a cool compass was placed on his forehead. The lamps were flicked off and he heard Hank climb into bed.

“Try to sleep”. Hank whispered and Alvin curled against him hoping to catch a few hours of sleep.

xxxxxx

“I know, just get it all out”. Hank reassured a few hours later as Alvin leaned over the garbage can and vomited up everything in his stomach.

Every gag made the pain in his head worse and Alvin wanted it all to be over. Hank had turned his lamp on so Al didn’t throw up all over there bed and that didn’t help the pain either.

“Done”. Alvin said weakly shoving the garbage can onto his nightstand. He felt horrible for leaving it to Hank to clean out but Alvin highly doubted he could stand at that moment.

“It’s okay, I got it”. Hank had a feeling he knew what Alvin was thinking and didn’t care at all. He grabbed the garbage can and the facecloth and headed into their bathroom. He re-wet the cloth and grabbed the Tylenol before heading back out to Alvin.

“Here Honey. Take these and then you can go back to bed”. Hank helped Al swallow the pills and take a few sips of water before he placed the cloth back on Alvin's forehead and turned the lamp off. Once Al was settled Hank headed back into the bathroom to rinse out the garbage can and place it back in its original spot before he also got into bed and tried to get some sleep.

xxxxxx

“Hal? Can you stop that smell? It’s hurting my head”. Alvin asked a few hours later. He had just finished another round of vomiting and was trying to sleep again but a foul smell was stopping him.

“What smell? Sweetheart, what does it smell like?”

“I’m not sure exactly. Foul”. Al couldn’t pinpoint exactly what the smell was coming from, all he knew was it was causing his already throbbing head to hurt more and more.

“It’s probably from the vomit”.

“It’s not. Hank it’s from something else”. Al was getting frustrated and maybe slightly scared. He knew what vomit smelled like and this smell was nothing like that.

“Alright, I hear you but I don’t smell anything”. Hank wasn’t sure exactly what to do and Al’s frustration and fear was worrying him. Alvin wasn’t one to lie about something like this and Hank wondered if it had anything to do with his migraine.

It took almost an hour before Alvin fell back asleep and Hank made a phone call. He was sure Will was probably sick of his constant phone calls but he hadn’t got Doctor Parker’s phone number yet and they were the only two doctors Hank completely trusted.

“Doctor Halstead”.

“Will? Hey, it's Hank. Al has a migraine right now, and about an hour ago was telling me about this foul smell he smelt. He was convinced it wasn’t the lingering smell of vomit and I don’t smell anything”.

“It’s possible it was an olfactory hallucination. When the migraine has eased enough, bring him in. We need to make sure it’s not a bigger issue and only a symptom of the migraine. Olfactory hallucinations aren’t unheard of with migraines but it’s always important to make sure there's not something else at play. Keep him as comfortable as you can and do what you usually do when he has a migraine. Don’t dismiss his worries as even if it is an olfactory hallucination it’s very real and probably terrifying for him”. Will knew Hank worried about his husband and also knew this could be a much bigger issue. He hoped it wasn’t. Not only were these men his brother's family but they were starting to become his.

“I will. Hopefully he’s feeling a bit better later today or tomorrow and we can head in. I want answers but he looks like he wants to kill me if I turn the lamp on”. Hank replied, getting a chuckle in response.

“Sounds good. Just ask Maggie for me and I will find out what’s going on. It’s important for him to get checked out but waiting a day won’t harm anyone and I feel confident enough to wait until then. Booking an appointment with a doctor would take longer anyway”.

They talked for a couple more minutes before Hank checked in on Al and headed downstairs to get himself some food.

xxxxxx

“Hey”. Hank said quietly as Al’s eyes slowly opened. The light from his phone gave him just enough light to see Alvin waking up.

“Hal. The smell is gone”. Al said with relief as he smelt the room. The lingering smell of vomit was still there but he knew that’s not what he had smelt. It had been foul but much different.

“I’m glad Darling. Will thinks it may have been an olfactory hallucination. It makes you detect a smell that isn’t there. He wants me to bring you in when you're feeling a bit better just to make sure it’s not anything more serious than a symptom of the migraine”.

Alvin gave a small nod but Hank could see the poorly hidden fear that he knew was also in his eyes.

“I’m sure it will be fine. Will said it could just be from the migraine but we would rather be safe than sorry”. Hank knew they were both terrified of what might happen.

“I got your migraine medication. You take that and I’ll re-wet the cloth”. Hank changed the subject knowing Al didn’t need to think about that when he was still in pain.

“Thank you”. Al whispered as Hank pressed a quick kiss to his lips and stood up. Fear settled in Al’s stomach as he watched Hank head into the bathroom.

“Rest Darling”. Hank urgered and Al knew the only reason he tried to listen was because he knew it eased the pain. Having a hallucination scared the shit out of him and Al only hoped it wasn’t anything serious. But he also knew if it was from his migraine it could happen again and Al didn’t want to experience that again. The brief moment of feeling like he was going crazy was not one Al wanted to repeat ever again.

“Sleep Alvin. It will make you feel better”. Hank said and Al didn’t ignore him again.

Chapter Text

Adam’s panicked call had both Hank and Antonio running across the warehouse to get to where Al and Adam were. Adam had sounded scared and that had both men running as fast as they could.

“The guy slammed his head against the wall. He’s been out for a few minutes”. Adam explained from where he was kneeling next to an unconscious Alvin.

“Did someone call an ambulance?” Hank asked as he knelt by Adam and reached over to his husband. He cupped Al's cheek running his finger over it as he tried to get a reaction out of Al.

“There on their way”. Erin reported as she came over. Jay had been getting the suspect responsible in his car while she had been calling the ambulance.

“Stay still Darling. You're okay”. Hank said quietly a minute later as Al’s eyes fluttered. Conversation halted and most of the team backed up not wanting to overwhelm Al.

“Hank?” Al’s voice was a whisper as his eyes tried to focus on Hank.

“I’m here. We're going to get your checked out. It sounds like your head was hit pretty hard”. Hank reassured.

“The floor is wet”. Al said next his eyes looking like they were still trying to find Hank, only causing said man to worry.

“Well it rained recently so it makes sense why the grass is wet”. Hank replied calmly.

“Were outside?” The question was asked frantically and Hank knew something was wrong.

“We are”.

“Hank, I can’t really see”. Panic built inside Alvin. He had thought he was just in the dark warehouse but Hank’s statement made him worry.

“Alright, it’s okay the ambulance is coming”.

“Hal, I can’t- I can’t see you, you're too far away”. Al tried to reach out for Hank needing to feel he was real. He needed to know this wasn’t a dream.

“What about now?” Hank moved closer to Alvin making sure they were touching. It made sense why Al’s eyes had been so unfocused and having trouble finding him.

“Blurry but I see you”.

“Help is coming. Everything will be fine”. Hank reassured as he grabbed Al’s hand.

As the ambulance pulled up and the paramedics came out Alvin and Hank heard Erin and Jay explaining what happened and Al’s symptoms. Hank was grateful seeing how close Al was to losing it. He didn’t blame him. Hank knew suddenly losing your sight would be terrifying especially for someone whose sight was a vital part of their career.

“From what your friends explained it sounds like Papilledema which is swelling of your optic nerve. It’s treatable but we need to get you in the ambulance and down to the hospital before we risk the swelling becoming worse and permanent”. The paramedic explained as they got Al onto the gurney and into the ambulance.

Al gave a small nod. He couldn’t see the paramedics as they moved around and the warning partially prepared him for being moved. Hank’s hand fell out of his, and Alvin felt himself panic even more. Everything looked blurry and dark and Hank no longer being in his line of sight caused him to try frantically to sit up and find him.

“Alvin. Sweetheart you have to stay down. You're going to hurt your head, it sounds like you got quite the concussion”. Hank’s voice sounded in his ear and a hand was suddenly in his again and squeezing reassuringly. Al’s remaining vision swam and he felt nausea well up.

“Hal, m going to be sick”. Al mumbled and that was all he got out before he was violently vomiting. A bag had been pressed to his mouth and he was hoping he was getting it all in the bag.

“It’s okay, everything will be okay”. Al felt too terrible to do anything but believe what Hank said.

He knew he was wheeled into the ED as the gurney started moving. He vaguely heard the paramedic call out Al’s stats as Alvin stared at the roof. At least with his blurry vision the bright lights weren’t as annoying. Both him and Jay had complained to Will about it more than once. Being brought into the ED was bad enough and even worse when you're being blinded on your way in. As that thought came to him Al fought the urge to laugh at his own horrible attempt at a joke.

He came back into the present as he was moved onto a bed. The hands moving and touching him and the sudden lack of Hank made Alvin try once again to get up. Sure he was a bit zoned out but he would have heard if Hank told him he was leaving.

“Hank”. Al called out trying to get away from the hands.

“Let him through”. That was Will’s voice and the next second Hank was in his limited range of sight.

“I’m here. I have to step outside when they treat you but I promise I’ll be next to you as soon as possible”. Hank promised and only after his words fully registered in Al’s mind did he reluctantly let go of his husband's hand.

Sonn Al felt the bed moving again and didn’t have the energy to ask what was happening. All he knew was his eyes had closed and Al found no point in keeping them open. He lost consciousness before they arrived at their destination.

xxxxxx

Hank had started pacing the waiting room as soon as they wheeled Alvin away. Will had briefly mentioned something about relieving pressure around the optic nerve and then Hank had been let to worry.

The rest of the unit and Trudy arrived within a couple minutes and after Hank told them all he knew they sat in silence waiting on news about their friend.

xxxxxx

The procedure had been successful and Al’s vision was fully restored. He still had a pretty nasty concussion to worry about but Hank knew Al was most worried about his vision.

Al hadn’t woken up yet and Will had said he should regain consciousness shortly so Hank had taken his place at Al’s bedside and was waiting. There was an untouched muffin on the nightstand Trudy had encouraged him to try to eat but Hank couldn’t get himself to until Alvin was awake. Not until he could be certain Al was going to be okay.

“You're okay Darling. It’s okay to wake up now”. Hank whispered and the beeping machines that followed that statement were oddly comforting.

Chapter Text

It happened around two in the morning. Hank and Alvin were awake watching a romcom in their bedroom. Al’s sleep schedule had been fucked since coming home from the hospital and Hank’s wasn’t much better. So watching movies at this time had become normal.

“These movies are so predictable I could write a half decent one”. Hank muttered partway through the movie.

“I think you're overestimating your writing skills”. Al teased.

“I think they need some new ideas and not some guy with a family business that’s closing and a woman who hates her city job. Why can’t a business ever do well?” Hank asked back, getting a snort in response.

“Some of us just enjoy the movie and don’t compare every plot”.

“More people should compare the prompts. Or at least switch up the actors and actresses. I feel like it’s the same people”. Hank complained.

“You complain a lot”. Al said with a smile, freezing when Hank didn’t respond and instead sat up.

“Hal? Everything okay?”

“Do you smell smoke?” Hank asked as he stood up. He paused the movie as he continued smelling the room.

“Yeah”. Just as Al spoke the fire alarms went off the noise filling the house.

“I’ll check downstairs”. Hank headed for the stairs finding them cleared of flames. The fire had obviously been started downstairs but where was unknown.

Al headed quickly down the hallway double checking Michelle wasn’t home before following Hank down the stairs.
As they climbed down the stairs the room started getting hotter and the flames were visible. The fire seemed like it had been started at the back of the house but the flames were quickly spreading. Both men ignored the flames that licked their arms as they exited the house as quickly as possible.

It was spring so not overly cold out but Hank and Al were both in sweats and shoeless. Al’s phone had been in his pocket and Hank reached over and grabbed it as soon as they were far enough away. The neighbors were starting to gather outside but Hank didn’t pay them any attention as he focused on Al who had sat down as his eyes fixated on their burning house.

Al vaguely heard Hank call for help as he watched their home go up in flames with everything inside. And suddenly he wasn’t on the grass by their home. Suddenly he was running up to a burning warehouse that had his daughter inside.

He was shouting at his friend to do something. He was watching the warehouse burn. Al was in the ambulance with his dying daughter and begging Lexi to open her eyes. He was yelling at Hank to give him the keys to the cage. He was….

“Darling, it’s okay it’s just a flashback”. Al couldn’t hear Hank as the nightmare of those days replayed over and over again in his mind while a second nightmare played out right in front of him.

“I got you Sweetheart”. Hands on his face helped Al focus a bit more as he tried to slow his breathing and instead fell into a coughing fit.

“Sorry”. Al knew they had both inhaled smoke and Al should ask if Hank was okay.

“Lexi?” Hank whispered and Al just gave a small nod as he fell forward into Hank’s arms.

Neither spoke as firetrucks and the cars of their unit pulled up ambulances following behind.

“Are you guys okay?” Both stood up as Antonio and Kim came over.

“Minor smoke inhalation and some burns….” Hank’s voice trailed off as he turned to face his husband.

“Shit, I think some of your stitches ripped Love”. Hank said softly as he saw the blood stain on Al’s shirt.

“I’m fine”. There were so many other things to worry about and Al could handle a bit of blood and pain.

“Your stab wounds reopening is not fine. Ambulances both of you”. Antonio ordered and neither argued even if they wanted to.

Alvin looked up from where he had been staring at the wall as Trudy sat next to him. The paramedic had taken a look at his reopened wound and repaired the few stitches that had ripped.

“Hey”. Al rasped through the oxygen mask he had on.

“Hey. Antonio went to talk to Hank and I said I’d sit with you”. Trudy explained as she took a look at her friend.

“Did anyone find out what happened?” Al asked quietly as he looked at their home once again. The fire had been put out but the damage was bad.

“I’m not sure”. Trudy's response was cut off as Chief Boden headed over.

“Wallace?”

“The evidence we have right now points towards this being arson”. Boden explained a grave look on his face as he looked at two of his friends.

“Any proof on who?” Trudy asked, keeping a calming hand on Al’s shoulder.

“None yet”.

Alvin didn’t say anything. He just met Hank’s eyes as he and Anontio talked. He figured Anontio was telling him the same information if the look on Hank’s face was anything to go off of.

“Alvin? That sounds okay?” Al turned back to Trudy realizing they were once again alone.

“Sorry what?”

“You and Hank can stay with me and Randall for as long as you need to”. Trudy repeated calmy.

“Thank you”. Al gave a small smile as they sat there.

xxxxxx

“The fire was started in the back of the house. It spread through the first floor and up but they're confident that there is some salvageable stuff”. Al explained to Michelle from where he was sitting in Hank’s office. Antonio had been in charge of the case, but was letting Hank and Al help as well. When Michelle had called him Al had moved somewhere more quiet.

“I’m glad you guys are okay”. Michelle's voice said through the phone. She was on her way over to the district regardless of what Hank or Alvin tried to say.

They had both been medically cleared but Al was ordered to take it easy as to not risk opening a wound again. He hadn’t exactly mentioned that part to his daughter yet.

“I should be there in a couple minutes”. Michelle said a minute later after Al didn’t respond.

“Sounds good. I’ll open the gate so you can just come right up”. Alvin hung the phone up a moment later but didn’t leave the office right away.

They would figure out what happened and then they could grieve for what they lost.

xxxxxx

Alvin didn’t think either of them were surprised that it had been Denny Woods responsible. The satisfaction of Denny finally being arrested let them forget everything that had happened and the long term repercussions.

Michelle hadn’t been that happy to learn they were both injured and Al didn’t blame her. She had stayed for a bit but they were busy working the case and she soon headed back to her apartment.

Once the case was finally closed up Hank and Alvin followed Trudy back to her house and straight up to the spare room. It had been a long day and they both just wanted sleep. They had a few changes of clothes and toiletries in their lockers and that was enough until they went to the store.

“I love you”. Al whispered after a couple minutes of laying in silence.

“I love you too”. Hank whispered back as he tightened his hold on Al.

Hank fell asleep nearly an hour later but Al laid awake for the rest of the night. Too much had happened for him to be able to get any sort of rest. He just laid in a bed that wasn’t theirs as the memories of fires haunted him.

Chapter Text

It was safe to say Hank had never liked Meredith. Since the day Alvin introduced them to her he had always had a bad feeling about her. She had never specifically done something wrong and Al seemed happy so Hank never said anything to him, just kept an eye on Al just in case.

The relationship had seemed strong however and after a few years Hank thought he might be overreacting. Sure he still didn’t like her but there seemed to be no particular reason why.
That was until they had Lexi.

Hank knew first hand that children changed a relationship but that bad feeling was back in full force and Hank had learned through his life to listen to those feelings.

“Is everything alright at home?” Hank asked one night. There were a couple more people around but the organized crime division was big and their desks were far enough away that Hank wasn’t worried about them being overheard.

“Everythings fine”. Alvin replied not looking up from the paperwork he was doing.

“You almost passed out twice today”.

“I have a seven month old at home. You know how it is”. Al had said back still not meeting Hank's eyes.

“I know that Alvin”. Hank had wanted to push but Al had stood up, grabbed his bag and was gone before Hank could try to say something or stop him. He only grabbed Alvin's half finished paperwork and added it to his pile.

xxxxxx

It was a year and a half later before Hank had his answer.

“This is the third day this week Olinsky’s been late and it’s Wednesday”. Trudy commented as her and Jimmy Shi exited the break room.

“He’s been absolutely exhausted as well. I mean I know he has a kid and this job doesn’t make sleep easy but I’m getting worried”. Isabel Rogers commented from beside Hank.

“I am too. He doesn’t talk to us though. I have more luck getting Justin to eat his vegetables than getting Alvin to open up”. Hank said as he once again looked at the door.

“He mentioned that he and Meredith have been fighting more”. Jimmy said a few minutes later.

“I’ve always thought she was a bit of a bitch to be honest”.

“I agree with you Belle, I’ve always had a bad feeling abo…” Hank's voice trailed off as Alvin arrived.

“What the hell happened to you?” It was Trudy who voiced what they were all thinking.

“I’m fine”. Al’s voice was hoarse as he settled in his desk. The bruise on the side of his face had definitely not been there when they saw him the day before.

“Who did that?” There was a thought in Hank’s mind but he tried not to jump to conclusions too quickly.

“Injury from yesterday. Not a big deal”. Their Sergeant called them over at that moment and any further questions were halted.

xxxxxx

“Are you all free for dinner tomorrow?” Hank asked nearly two months later. They were all getting ready to leave for the night and Hank was just confirming their plans. They tried to meet up for dinner as much as possible and he was hosting this time.

“Yep”.

“I am”.

“Yeah”.

“Alvin?” Hank asked after everyone else but him had responded.

“We have plans. Sorry”. Alvin had only continued to shut down as time went on and had arrived at work with injuries two other times since the first bruise.

“I’m sure we can pick a different day that works for everybody. Justin has been asking when Lexi is coming over next and I know the rest of us miss her”. Hank wasn’t surprised. Everytime they tried to get together Al had some excuse and they hadn’t seen him outside work in months.

“It’s fine. We have a busy week so I’m not sure there's time”.

“There has to be some day”. Isabel said with a worried look on her face as she looked at one of her closest friends.

“There isn’t. I’m sorry, but my family has to come first”. The lack of emotion in Al’s voice made the statement sound practiced and it worried everyone of his friends.

Alvin stood up and when Jimmy went to grab his arm, Al’s violent flinch scared all of them. Alvin hadn’t flinched away from them in years. Sudden touch was sudden touch but alarm bells were ringing in Hank’s brain at Al’s reaction.

“Let go”. Al pulled his arm free and was gone within a minute.

“What the hell is happening?” Trudy's question had no answer as the four friends sat there.

xxxxxx

“I’m going to go drop some of these leftovers off with Alvin and Meredith”. Hank said to his wife the next day after everyone had left. Dinner had been good and they had plenty of leftovers.

“Sounds good, Love”. Camille replied. She understood why Hank was doing this. He had kept her updated on what had been happening. And Camille couldn’t remember the last time she had seen the Olinsky’s.

“I’ll be back soon”. With one more kiss Hank was out the door.

Fifteen minutes later he was pulling up in front of their house. He saw both Meredith and Al’s cars outside and the lights on. As he walked up the porch step voices were heard. A quick look showed him the kitchen window was open and the loud voices were clearly heard.

“You're never home. God Alvin it feels like I’m doing it all on my own”.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I try but you know how hectic my schedule is”.

“So what your job is more important than your daughter growing up with a father?” Meredith shouted and Hank winced wondering if he should just knock.

“She’s not growing up without me. And she’s right upstairs”. Al’s voice was quieter but had a harsh edge to it clearly not wanting his kid to hear her parents fighting.

“You lessen your hours or I’m gone and you’ll never see her again”.

“She’s my kid too. You can’t just take her”. The sound of flesh hitting flesh had Hank knocking on the door. A minute later Al opened it and the handprint on his face confirmed all suspicions Hank ever had.

“What’s up?”

“Alvin”. Hank sighed and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug his friend but at that moment Meredith came over.

“I brought some lasagna. We had extras”. Hank said, handing the container to Al who didn’t say anything.

“Thank you”. The door was shut the next moment and Hank was left standing on the porch as he let his friend walk away with his abuser.

xxxxxx

Alvin didn’t know exactly when his marriage started going downhill. The first few years they were happy and sure there were some fights and comments about how much he worked but Al tried to lessen his hours and that worked well until Meredith got pregnant and had Lexi.

Alvin was off for a while when they got settled into their new lives but eventually both him and Meredith went back to work. Al thought that's when everything shifted. Meredith was a high school teacher and Al being a cop meant both worked long hours. Meredith's sister watched Lexi during that day until one of them got home which usually was Meredith.

When Lexi was about two there unit had caught a big case which had everyone working long hours. One night Al had arrived home at around nine which had become early with how long they were all working lately.

“Is Lexi asleep?” Al asked as he headed into the living room where Meredith was marking tests.

“It’s nine Alvin. Of course she’s asleep. Took almost an hour since she kept asking for you”.

“I’m sorry, Mer. I get home as soon as I’m able”. Al wanted to go upstairs and not have this conversation which he knew would once again end in a fight.

“You hardly see your child anymore, this is getting ridiculous Alvin. I can’t keep doing this with you”.

“What does that mean?” Al knew what it meant and he hated it. He didn’t exactly realize when they had both stood up or when their voices got louder.

“You know exactly what it means”. Al had gone to leave at that moment. They were both exhausted and neither were thinking clearly.

“Look, we're both tired and we should have this convers…” Al’s sentence was cut off as Meredith slapped him.

“I’m so sorry”. Meredith apologized instantly, looking horrified at what she had done. Al just shook his head as he fought the urge to hold his cheek.

“It’s okay. I’m fine”. Al kissed her and the anger disappeared from the room almost instantly. Later when they were in bed Al couldn’t help but compare this incident to memories of his childhood.

xxxxxx

“Did anyone ask what happened?” Al looked up at his wife the next night. He had gotten home earlier tonight and knew that made Meredith happy.

“They did but I just said it was from work the previous day”.

“Good, since you know it was just an accident. I love you Alvin”. Meredith reached across the couch and grabbed his hand and Al gave a small smile.

“I know”.

Alvin couldn’t help but feel like he was ten again sitting at the table with his parents who asked if any teachers had said anything about his black eye.

xxxxxx

“Are we going to Hank and Camilles on Tuesday?” Al asked over dinner a couple months later. Lexi was playing in the living room while they kept an eye on her and finished their dinner.

“So what you're finally home earlier and you want to spend one of our nights with your friends?”

“Well there my family Meredith and Lexi’s family. I know they all miss her”. Meredith had never really liked his friends, especially Hank but she still came for dinner.

“They're not Lexi’s family. Were her family. You can go but we're staying here”. Al knew if he went it was just going to be thrown back in his face later and it wasn’t worth another fight with his wife.

“I’ll stay here”.

xxxxxx

Tuesday brought yet another fight about how long Alvin was working. This wasn’t the first time Meredith had threatened to take Lexi but it caught Al off guard everytime she said it. Maybe he wasn’t the best husband but he was a good father.

The slap was expected and Meredith went to apologize as the doorbell rang. Al pulled away from her and headed over to the door.

“What's up?” Al knew Hank had just heard everything and the look on his face confirmed it.

“Alvin”. Hank sighed and Al thought about leaving right now. He thought about following Hank back to his car and telling him everything. But Al knew he would never see his daughter again. Meredith would make sure of it.

Hank had gone to step closer to him and Al knew he was about to hug him. Al needed that more than ever and just as he was about to embrace his friend he heard Meredith come next to him.

“I brought some lasagna. We had extras”. Alvin didn’t say anything as he took the container. Alvin could easily get past Meredith and to Hank. It would be so easy and he knew his friends would help and take care of him. The next moment Meredith thanked Hank and shut the door.

“You're calling in sick tomorrow”. Meredith stated as she threw the container in the garbage.

“If I do that they will be here at eight in the morning looking for me”. Al protested.

“Don’t say a word or I'll take her”. Meredith was gone then leaving Al standing in the kitchen wondering what he was supposed to do now.

xxxxxx

“Are the kids in bed?” Hank asked as he entered his house after leaving the Olinsky’s.

“Justin is and Erin’s upstairs though I doubt she's sleeping”. Camille replied from the couch where she was watching TV.

“What happened?” Camille said next when she noticed the look on her husband's face.

“Their window was open. I could hear them fighting and then she hit him, Cam. I had figured it was her. It was the only logical explanation for his injuries and the way Al’s isolating himself. I don’t know what to do now, he won’t leave. I know he won’t. She threatened to take Lexi if Al left”.

“Is there enough evidence for the police to get involved? I figure you know people that could help”.

“I do. But I can almost guarantee Alvin wouldn’t say a thing. And domestic abuse against men is harder to prove especially with Al being a cop there's so many ways Meredith or a lawyer could turn it on Al and he won’t take the risks if she might get Lexi in the end”. Hank responded as he placed his head in his hands. He had been thinking about it in the car but he knew his friend well enough to know he wouldn’t leave.

xxxxxx

Things continued to get worse and worse the next year. Fights happened more and more and Al was permanently in the spare room. He had tried to move out to the garage to get a bit of distance but Meredith hadn’t liked that so Al stayed. It was better this way.

Al had been a few days into sick leave after a week long hospital stay for pneumonia. He still felt like shit after being discharged and wanted to rest. He knew Meredith wanted him to help more and Al wanted that too but he felt a step away from passing out in front of his three year old daughter.

“Hey Lexi, do you want Daddy to give you a bath tonight?” Meredith asked that night as Al layed on the couch trying not to cough up a lung.

“Yes! Please Daddy?” Lexi exclaimed as she climbed next to her Daddy.

“Daddy doesn’t feel very well Lex”. Al said apologetically as he looked at his little girl.

“Okay”. Lexi pouted.

“He would love to Lexi. Wouldn’t you Alvin?” Meredith asked as she came over to her husband.

“Mer please. I don’t want to get her sick”.

“If you're well enough for them to discharge you, you're well enough to bathe your child”. Meredith whispered harshly and Al gave a small nod. It was better than spending more time with his wife.

xxxxxx

Alvin was just going to go for a few nights. He was just going to spend a few nights at Hank’s and Camille’s and then he would come back. That’s what he told himself a couple days later when packing his duffle bag.

“I told you what would happen if you left”. Al didn’t turn as Meredith spoke. He was right at the door ready to leave.

“I’ll be back. It’s just for a few days”. He turned around at this point to see her holding his car keys.

“I’ll hurt her Alvin and then I’ll hurt myself. Then who will they blame?” She dropped his keys and left the room leaving Al standing there. His legs started shaking and he slowly lowered himself to the ground and eventually back upstairs.

He waited. Almost four hours went by before Alvin stood up again. He grabbed his still packed bag and headed down the hallway making sure his keys were in his pocket. Al slowly opened his daughter's door and headed inside. He grabbed a couple change of clothes and things she needed and placed it in his bag. Alvin was thankful Lexi was a deep sleeper as he carefully picked her up, wrapping her in her favorite blanket and grabbing her stuffed bunny.

“It’s okay”. Al whispered as Lexi stirred in his arms. He got her buckled in her carseat and was gone within a minute. He knew Meredith had been serious with her threat and he wouldn’t risk Lexi’s life. Regardless of what Meredith would do.

“Daddy? Where are we going?” Lexi said her voice still heavy with sleep.

“Aunt Trudys”. Hank and Camille’s would be the first place Meredith would look and he was certain Meredith didn’t know where Trudy lived.

“Everything will be okay Baby. I promise”. Al’s hands shook as he drove.

“Why is Mommy not with us?”

“Mommy just needs a bit of space”. Al said quietly as he continued driving as quickly as possible.

Lexi didn’t say anything else and neither did Alvin as he pulled up in front of Trudy’s apartment complex and headed inside with his daughter and the duffle bag.

“Alvin what….?” Trudy said as she opened her door at four in the morning to find one of her best friends and his young daughter.

“Can we stay? Just for a bit? I need to put her down”. Lexi had fallen back asleep in his arms and Trudy gave a small nod leading Al to the spare room where he laid her down and put down his bag.

“What happened?” Trudy asked as they sat on the couch. Alvin knew his face was bruised and it had been a couple days since they’d seen each other.

“She said she would hurt her”. Al rasped. That was the only important part. He was fine but Lexi couldn’t stay there.

“Meredith?” Trudy clarified.

“She’ll call the cops on me. Accuse me of kidnapping”. Al said frantically. He needed to go back.

“Alvin. You need to calm down. Neither of you are going back there. Not if that woman is abusing you. I’ll call Sergeant Taylor and the others and will figure this out”. Trudy reassured.

“I’m not being abused”. Al protested.

“Get some rest. I promise she’s not going to touch you ever again”. Trudy said next ignoring Al’s previous statement.

“Stay?” Al felt pathetic asking that but he was terrified she would come here.

“Of course”. Trudy sat with him until finally Al drifted off. Once he was sleeping she stood up to make some calls. That bitch wouldn’t touch her best friend or niece again.

Chapter Text

It had been almost two years since Alvin left and a lot had changed. Most of it for the better.

He had taken pictures of all of his injuries but it hadn’t been enough for Meredith to get any jail time and by a certain point Al was too tired to keep pushing and fighting. He put all of his remaining energy into fighting for custody of Lexi and eventually was granted full custody. Last he heard Meredith left Chicago.

Newly divorced and a signal parent Alvin tried his hardest to give Lexi a good life. It was definitely hard. She didn’t understand why they had left and why she couldn’t see her Mommy anymore. Alvin didn’t want her to have a broken family but he wouldn’t put it above Meredith to run with Lexi and he couldn’t risk what she might do.

They were both in therapy at the beginning and he saw it was helping her. For the first couple months they had stayed with Hank, Camille, Justin and Erin but at a certain point Alvin started looking for an apartment. He knew he was burdening his friends and even if they said it was okay and they were willing to help, Al needed to figure it out on his own. He had found a nice two bedroom apartment and let Lexi decorate her room however she wanted and eventually this apartment became their new home.

Lexi was still doing therapy but Alvin had stopped his. Talking about all that had happened was too hard right now and Al needed to put all his energy into his daughter.

Recently Al’s nightmares had been getting worse. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept for more than a few hours and it didn’t help Lexi was going through a rough time as well. Mornings were extremely rough and full of fighting while Al tried to get Lexi ready for school. By the time he made it to work he was in a crappy mood and just wanting the day to end.

“Why doesn’t Lexi come over for the weekend? She can have a sleepover and you can get some rest”. Hank offered one day making Al look up from his second cup of coffee and reports he should have finished weeks ago.

“I’ll ask her”. Al responded before turning back to the reports. He figured she would want to but he wanted to make sure.

xxxxxx

“Hey Lex. Uncle Hank asked if you would like to go over to his and Aunt Camille's house this weekend”. Alvin asked over dinner that night. Well Lexi was eating dinner. Alvin hadn’t been hungry, which had been happening more and more lately but it saved him money and that was fine. Even if Al was starting to feel the effects.

“Yes please! Daddy can I please?” Lexi abandoned her pasta as she started talking about all they could do that weekend

Alvin just listened with a fond smile as his little girl excitedly talked.

xxxxxx

“Do you want to stay for dinner, Al? There's plenty of pizza”. Camille offered as Al dropped Lexi over that Friday.

“It’s alright I wouldn’t want to intrude. You're already watching Lexi”.

“You're not intruding, your family Alvin”. Hank said from where he was standing next to Camille.

“I really should get going”. Alvin had nowhere to be but his apartment. He didn’t work this weekend and was hoping to catch some sleep. At least he wouldn’t risk waking Lexi up with his nightmares.

“Hot date?” Hank teased instantly regretting his choice of words at Al’s reaction.

“I should leave”. Alvin knew Hank didn’t mean anything by that comment but the idea of dating again made Al want to be sick.

“I’m sorry Al. I shouldn't have said that”. Hank apologized as he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Lexi, Daddy is going to leave now”. Alvin called, pulling away from his friend's hand.

“Bye Daddy”. Lexi shouted from where she was sitting on the couch telling Erin about her day.

“Bye Uncle Al”. Justin shouted as well.

“Be good Lexi, you too Justin”. Al called back before he left, ignoring the way his friends looked at him. He knew Lexi would be calling that night to say good night so he knew he needed to be home by then and decided to just head right home.

When he got back to his apartment Alvin settled on his couch and turned a movie on. He knew he should eat something but just sat there instead. Eventually he grabbed some yogurt which was better than nothing and didn’t make him nauseous.

Lexi called at around eight and after saying good night to her Al headed to his own room. He had a shower before settling in bed and hoped he would finally get some sleep especially when he didn’t need to be afraid of accidentally waking Lexi with his nightmares which had always been a fear of his.

Despite his best efforts Al didn’t get more than two hours of sleep and finally got up for that day at about six when he went for a run. He regretted taking the weekend off as he paced his apartment. Sleep wasn’t happening and he didn’t really have any friends to visit. Camille and Hank were out, Trudy was visiting her dad and Jimmy and Isabel were working. Al really needed more friends.

Trudy would be home tomorrow so maybe he could call her later and today he could grocery shop and do some cleaning. Despite the fact Al kept his apartment as clean as possible he had a five year old daughter so it was never truly clean. That sounded like a plan.

xxxxxx

“Are you free for lunch tomorrow?” Al asked Trudy over the phone later that day. He had gone grocery shopping but was too exhausted to attempt to clean when he got home. Despite being absolutely exhausted he still couldn’t sleep.

“I’m busy in the afternoon but what about breakfast? If I can pick where”. Trudy replied and Al couldn’t help but laugh. He hated making decisions if he could help it and Trudy knew that.

“Sounds good. Nine?” It’s not like Al was going to be sleeping that night so he didn’t care what time.

They discussed the details and a few random topics before Al hung up and made himself some dinner. Later he settled back on his couch with some canned soup and a horror movie on the TV.

xxxxxx

“You look like shit”. Trudy greeted him as Al arrived at the restaurant she had chosen.

“Thanks Dee”. Al responded sarcastically. He knew he did. Despite trying once again he only got one more hour than the night before. Though three hours was better than none.

“Didn’t Hank take Lexi for the weekend so you could sleep?” Trudy asked as Al ordered a coffee and looked at the menu.

“Believe me I’m trying”.

“I know you stopped therapy but it might help you”. Trudy asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep.

“I’m fine”. Al just wanted to hang out with a friend and not be questioned on his sleep habits. He knew his friends were only worried but Alvin didn’t want them spending their energy on him.

Trudy changed the subject then and instead talked about her weekend so far and Al listened while they ate their food and soon parted ways.

He was starting to feel even worse when he arrived back home and wouldn’t be surprised if he was coming down with something. Al got into bed once he changed and tried to sleep and stop whatever illness was starting.

xxxxxx

“Buddy? Hey, can you hear me?”

Hands on his face woke Alvin up from his sleep. Sleep he finally got and he groaned as he slowly woke up. Of course when he finally fell asleep after throwing up for an hour someone had to wake him up.

“Is he okay?” That was a female voice that Al vaguely recognized.

“I think he has a fever. Probably coming down with something”. The first voice replied. A male voice that Al definitely knew.

“Alvin? It’s just us. Can you open your eyes?” That was the male and as Al slowly opened his eyes he met Hank's eyes. Hank was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands feeling Al’s cheeks for a fever.

“Why are you in my room?” Al slurred. They had a key to his apartment but it still didn’t make a lot of sense for both Hank and Camille to just be sitting there.

“You didn’t come pick up Lexi”. Camille explained gently and Al instantly sat up. Shit.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall back asleep”. Al apologized as he got out of bed. His vision swam as soon as he stood and he knew he would have fallen if Hank hadn’t wrapped an arm around his waist and eased him back into bed.

“Easy Bud. Easy”. Hank mumbled as he got Al sitting again.

Alvin stayed sitting until his vision came back into focus and he didn’t feel like throwing up again. He stood up slower this time ignoring Hank trying to get him to sit back down. Al knew if he laid back down, exhaustion would take over and he wouldn’t get up again.

“Thank you for bringing her back. I’m sorry”. Al apologized once again as he headed out to the living room, his friends following.

“It’s no problem Al. You really should go back to bed though”. Camille said as they made it to the living room.

“I’m fine. Just a little cold”. Al shrugged off his friend's concern as Lexi ran towards him.

“Daddy! I missed you so much. Uncle Hank said you were really tired and I should play here”. Lexi ranted a smile on her face as she threw herself against Al’s body and hugged him.

“I missed you too Kiddo. So much”. Al hugged his daughter back just enjoying the moment.

Once Lexi went back to her toys, Al turned to face his friends again.

“Thank you for driving all the way here. I promise it won’t happen again”.

“Alvin, you forgot one time it’s not a big deal”. Hank said. The amount of times his friend was apologizing worried him.

“Yeah. Um it’s getting late you should head back home”. Al wasn’t trying to be dismissive but he knew it was only a matter of time before they questioned him again.

It took another fifteen minutes before Alvin reassured Hank and Camille he was fine and they left. Sure, them being here and watching Lexi and potentially taking care of him would be wonderful but it wasn’t realistic and as long as Alvin didn’t get sicker he was fine. A cold had never killed someone.

An hour later Al put Lexi to bed and tidied up the house before heading to his room and collapsing in his bed.

By the time the sun started coming up Al peeled himself off the bathroom floor and into the shower where he let the hot water soothe his aching body before he turned the water on cold to wake himself up.

Once he got out of the shower he looked at himself in the mirror. His flushed face and the dark bags under his eyes looked back at him and Al sighed. He headed back into the bedroom and let himself sit on his bed for a few minutes. He was exhausted and sick but he had to keep going. He couldn't afford to take more time off work. The last two days had been enough. As long as he didn’t get worse everything was manageable with coffee and Tylenol.

He just needed to keep going. For Lexi.

Chapter Text

Alvin’s undercover work was his specialty and it rarely went wrong for him. Sure it did at times but usually Al could see it coming. This time he couldn’t figure out what exactly had gone wrong. These men were better liars than he had thought because they were negotiating drug deals one moment and the next he was being slammed into a wall.

“You're a cop aren’t you. Who do you work for?” The one shouted and Al winced as he was punched in the stomach.

“I don’t know what you're talking about”. Al wheezed as a second punch landed and he was pushed to the ground.

He tried to get away as he fell to the floor and the hands stopped holding him. Suddenly a new pair of hands was holding him down. He felt a prick in his arm before his eyes were rolling back into his head.

xxxxxx

“Sarge, we lost Al’s location. I think he was found”. Kevin's voice sounded through the radio and Hank slammed his hand against the steering wheel.

“Everybody to his last known location”. Hank commanded as he started driving.

“Will find him Hank. They couldn’t have gotten far”. Antonio said partially through the drive and Hank could only nod. He didn’t need to be comforted right now; he just needed to find his husband and make sure he was safe.

It turns out they were able to get far after all. Adam and Kevin had been waiting by the warehouse the drug deals were going down in, but weren’t able to find the car before it was gone. All they found was a syringe on the floor.

“God damnit”. Hank swore. His husband was gone and most likely drugged.

xxxxxx

“Anything?” Hank asked as he headed back upstairs an hour later.

“No, the traffic cameras haven’t picked up the car and our best guess is they switched”. Erin reported.

“Patrol is out and we're looking, they won’t get far”. Jay said from his desk and Hank fought the urge to snap at him. It wasn’t his fault but he needed to find Alvin and not hear about all the ways that weren’t working or getting them any closer to finding that damn car.

xxxxxx

Al slowly regained consciousness. His wrists and ankles were bound and he was pretty sure he was in a car trunk. He was dizzy and the moving car wasn’t helping that.

The car soon came to a halt and the trunk was opened.

“Look who's awake”. One of the men from before greeted. Moore. Al was pretty sure was his last name.

Al tried to call out but a hand covered his mouth and the next moment he was out again.

xxxxxx

A couple favors later and a lot of officers out searching and they found the men and Alvin.

“Call an ambulance”. Hank called as he opened the car trunk and found his bound husband inside. It felt like Justin all over again and Hank quickly searched Al for injuries and a pulse.

“He’s alive. No visible injuries but most likely drugged”. Hank called out. He didn’t want to move Al just in case there was an injury he couldn’t see and instead moved to remove the rope tying Al’s limbs together.

“It’s not like Justin”. Erin whispered as she helped him untie the rope around Al’s ankles.

“I know”. Hank said back as the ambulance pulled up.

xxxxxx

It had been a sedative Al was injected with. The second dose was a deeper sedative so it would take a couple hours for Al to wake up but there should be no side effects. His stomach was bruised and his ankles and wrists were bandaged up to prevent infection but Al should heal up okay.

Hank could finally breathe a sigh of relief as he sat next to Alvin. He knew it would be a rough road mentally, since being kidnapped and drugged fucked anyone up but Al’s physical health was half the battle.

xxxxxx

“I’m here, Darling, you're safe”. Hank reassured as Al stirred almost six hours later.

“Hal?” Al rasped as he opened his eyes to find himself with his husband in a hospital room.

“It’s okay, you're okay”.

“What happened?” Al’s memories of the past day were blank and how he ended up in the hospital was a mystery especially with how worried Hank looked.

“You were undercover and they found out you were a cop. You were injected with a sedative but there shouldn’t be any long term complications. You had a couple bruises on your stomach and some marks on your wrists and ankles from where they tied them with rope but no other injuries or internal damage”. Hank explained while he held Al’s hand. He knew he really should go get the doctor but wanted to make sure Al was okay first. Or as okay as he could be right now.

“I don’t remember any of it”. Al admitted.

“The doctor said that’s normal. I should go get her if you’ll be okay for a minute”. Hank said next as he stood up and pressed a kiss to Al’s forehead.

“I’ll be fine”. Al promised as he watched Hank leave and settled back into bed. Not knowing what happened to him had always scared Al but he usually remembered later on and that was always worse than not knowing.

Alvin drifted back off before Hank came back and vaguely felt a hand grab his again before Al was out once again.

Chapter Text

They had been called to the house of a young woman who’s abusive ex had broken in and after knocking the woman unconscious had taken their four year old daughter and ran. Intelligence had been running the case for the past day and had finally tracked down the man. Down by the docks.

“We try to negotiate first. The guy is most likely armed and won’t hesitate to shoot and we can’t risk the little girl's life”. Hank commanded as they got ready to head down to the docks where the man had just arrived.

The plan was going okay until the man noticed them and started running further down the docks, his daughter screaming the whole time.

“James. I need you to put Olivia down, nobody will shoot if you just put your daughter down and let us grab her”. Antonio called as they slowly headed closer to the dock. More patrol cars were arriving behind them but Alvin paid no attention to that at the moment.

“And how do I know that?” James asked back, only tightening his hold on his yelling and struggling daughter.

“James put her down”. Hank shouted and James seemed to be considering that until he ran the final feet down the dock and into the water with Olivia.

Al made a probably rash decision at that moment and ran down after them ignoring the hands that tried to grab him and his husbands voice. He jumped in quickly spotting James and Olivia. He didn’t care about James. The guy could most likely swim but he doubted Olivia could keep herself a float for long.

He had just reached out and grabbed Olivia when he saw James come up behind him. Al swam as fast as he could while also trying to reassure Olivia at the same time.

“It’s okay”. Al whispered as he lifted Olivia up and onto the dock where Erin grabbed her. He went to grab Jay’s hand when arms wrapped around his throat and he was pulled back into the water.

Neither man spoke as James continued pulling him under and Al fought to get air. He thinks he vaguely heard yelling from afar but that thought was cut off as James hands cut off his air supply and pulled him back under.

He couldn’t breathe and he was desperate for air. He was choking and inhaling water as he tried to get away.

The fight soon left Al as his eyes closed and his body went limp. All that mattered was Olivia was safe and this monster hadn’t harmed her.

xxxxxx

“Alvin”. Hank yelled as he watched his husband run down the dock and into the water.

Cops were starting to come out of their cars and ambulances began arriving as the situation grew more serious. Jay and Erin moved down the dock and Hank followed as he saw Erin grabbing Olivia.

“I tried to grab him, Sarge but James grabbed him from behind”. Jay reported as Hank looked for any sign of Al while Erin carried Olivia to one of the ambulances.

“I’m going in”. Hank said the next minute. He removed his jacket and shoes as he tried to find any sign of where Al and James were.

“Hank”. Antonio sighed as Adam and Kevin met them at the end of the dock.

“Do you have a better idea?” Hank asked as he got ready to jump in.

James came back to the surface at that moment and Hank jumped in without hesitation. After a moment Antonio followed him.

James began swimming one way but neither man followed him as they swam to where James had last been.

Pulling his husband's unconscious body out of the water was not what Hank thought he would be doing that day but here he was. They got Alvin on the dock with Jay and Kevin’s help before Hank and Antonio climbed back up.

“He’s not breathing”. Jay said as he knelt down by Al.

Hank didn’t hesitate before he was starting chest compressions. A rib cracked beneath his hands but Hank didn’t stop even as tears started falling down his face. Al’s lips were blue and another rib cracked as a paramedic tried to take over.

And then Al was gasping and choking and Hank and the paramedic got Alvin on his side as his husband continued gasping and coughing up water.

“It’s okay Darling”. Hank whispered as Al coughed up more water.

Al was soon moved onto a gurney and an oxygen mask was slipped over his face. Hank followed him into the ambulance as Al was wheeled in. One of the paramedics placed an emergency blanket around his shoulders but Hank only focused on Al.

“Just stay awake Al”. Hank whispered as he held Al’s hand.

xxxxxx

He was gasping and he couldn’t breathe and everything hurt. Al tried to get air into his lungs but his chest protested the movement and his throat hurt so damn bad. He was moved as he began choking and coughing while also trying to gulp up as much air as he could.

Al tried to speak but he couldn’t as Hank’s face appeared in his line of sight. Hank was soaking wet and Al didn’t know why. Al figured he must be wet too which would make sense with how violently he was shivering.

He was moved onto a gurney and Alvin couldn’t even protest the hospital visit he knew was going to happen. Not with the way he ached and breathing was so hard. Antonio was wet too and Al really needed to remember what had happened but right now he only focused on his breathing.

It was only partway into the ambulance ride did everything come back.

The case. James and Olivia. The race to find them. Finding them. James jumping with Olivia in his arms. Al running after them. And then pain and everything went blank.

“Olivia”. Al wheezed as he tried to get up. Talking hurt but it didn’t matter.

“Alvin stay down”. Hank’s voice was in his ear but it didn’t matter. If Hank wasn’t saying anything about her it probably meant she was dead and then they had a grieving mother and a dead four year old. There were better things to focus on and Al would be fine without treatment.

“Olivia”. His voice was desperate and he thought Hank might be explaining something but breathing was even harder and he was still trying to fight against the hands holding him. His struggle weakened and his wheezing got worse and Al started losing consciousness but it didn’t matter because they hadn’t been quick enough and now a little girl was dead.

The world faded as his head fell back against the gurney and Hank and the paramedic watched as the sedative did its job. Hank could only cry more as he looked at his husband.

“She’s okay”. Hank whispered as the ambulance arrived at the hospital.

“And you will be too”.

Chapter Text

Alvin hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days so the fever he woke up with was expected. He didn’t do anything else other than take some Tylenol and head to work with Hank. Intelligence had been working a big case the past couple days and Al knew they couldn’t afford to be down a person.

By the time the next day rolled around they had finally wrapped up the case and he and Hank were heading over to Trudy and Mouch’s for dinner. Even though Al's fever had only been getting higher the past day and he felt like shit, he was still fine enough to have dinner with his friends.

Dinner had been going well even if Al barely contributed to the conversation and instead opted to listen and pick at his food.

“Are you alright?” Hank whispered at one point and Al realized Trudy had been trying to get his attention.

“I’m fine. I’m just going to grab some more water”. Al responded as he stood up. The next moment he was on the ground as he started convulsing.

“Alvin?!” Hank shouted as he moved next to his husband. “We need to move the table and I need a pillow”.

Hank and Mouch quickly moved the table and chairs out of the way so Al didn’t hit them, while Trudy went to grab a throw pillow and her phone. Hank slipped the pillow under Alvin’s head so it wasn’t banging against the floor and Trudy called for an ambulance.

“It’s okay Darling. It will be over soon”. Hank whispered knowing there was nothing he could do to help Al right now.

“I’m timing it”. Mouch said suddenly and Hank let out a sigh of relief. He had known there was something else he should've done.

“Ambulance is on their way”. Trudy reported as her and Mouch backed away so they weren’t surrounding Al. Especially when a wet spot appeared on Al’s pants.

“Two minutes and forty six seconds”. Mouch called out as Al’s convulsing stopped and his body grew still.

“Sweetheart? Alvin, can you hear me?” Hank asked as he moved so he was sitting right next to Al.

“Hank? Don’t feel well”. Al mumbled his words barely audible as Hank tried to understand what he was saying.

“You had a seizure Darling. It’s over now and we're going to get you checked out very soon”.

“Hank, his face is all flushed. I’m pretty sure the seizure was caused by a fever”. Trudy observed from where she was standing and Al seemed to realize it wasn’t just them in the room.

Hank’s hands went to Al’s face and he quickly realized Trudy had been correct in her assumptions.

“You're burning up”. Hank muttered. He wanted to ask how long Al had been feeling bad for but knew this wasn’t the time for that.

Alvin struggled to sit up and only when Hank was sitting behind him and holding him up did Al realize his pants were wet.

“I’m sorry”. Alvin apologized as his face turned red and he realized just what happened.

“It’s normal with seizures. Nobodys going to hold it against you or bring it up ever again”. Mouch promised as the ambulance pulled up.

“Let’s get you checked out Al”. Hank whispered as he looked at his husband whose face was a mixture of embarrassment and exhaustion.

Al just gave a small nod as the paramedics entered the kitchen where they were all sitting. He was soon brought to the hospital where Doctor Halstead confirmed it had been a febrile seizure caused by a high fever. He was kept overnight for observation and soon was half asleep in the hospital bed Hank at his side.

They both held each other for the night and Hank was just grateful Alvin would be okay.
One day they might not be so lucky but thankfully that day wasn’t today. Tonight Hank was holding Al as he slept off the events of the evening and gave his sick and tired body time to rest.

Chapter Text

“Shit”. Al swore as his nose started bleeding even more soaking the kleenex he was holding and dripping onto the bathroom counter. He had been reading while Hank slept when he turned to blow his nose and it started bleeding.

“This is awesome”. Al muttered as he grabbed toilet paper and tried to stop the blood from causing a mess. He lowered himself to the floor and decided to wait it out. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do with hands that had blood on them and a heavily bleeding nose.

It had happened before. His nose bleeding because of how dry it got and the cold weather. Alvin tried not to irate it too much but clearly it hadn’t worked.

He waited it out for another ten minutes before he was pretty sure the nosebleed had stopped. Al tossed out all the bloody kleenex and cleaned off all the blood that had accidently dripped on the floor and counter before washing his hands and getting into bed.

xxxxxx

Hank waking up first wasn’t new for him and he carefully slipped out of bed and into the bathroom not wanting to wake Alvin.

He got into the shower and after a quick shower started getting ready for the day. He had been throwing something in the garbage can when he saw the pile of bloody kleenex and toilet paper. Looking around Hank saw a few blood splatters on the counter and one on their mirror.

Al hiding an injury wouldn’t be a first for him and it always scared Hank when Alvin did it. The idea that he could wake up to find that Al had bled out or died during the night from an injury Hank didn’t know existed, terrified him. He had tried to talk about it with Al but his husband always shrugged off the concern and told Hank he would be fine.

Hank hated waking Al knowing first hand how little sleep he got but his worry outweighed Al getting another hour of sleep. Especially if Alvin was seriously injured.

“Darling? Can you wake up?” Hank called as he sat on their bed and shook Al’s shoulder, while checking for any visible injuries.

“Hal?” Al replied, his voice heavy with sleep as he slowly opened his eyes.

“Where are you hurt?” Hank asked as Al sat up and adjusted to his surroundings.

“M not hurt”. Al muttered as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Alvin. There's a whole bunch of blood kleenexes in the bathroom garbage can and blood on the counter.

“What?” Al tried to remember what had happened. They were the only ones who used that bathroom and if it wasn’t from Hank it had to have been from him…. Oh.

“I had a bloody nose last night. My nose was just really dry when I was blowing it. I thought I got all the blood”. Al explained seeing the relief on Hank’s face.

“You thought I was hiding an injury”. Al stated as he realized what conclusion Hank had come to.

“Well you do it so often it’s a reasonable assumption”. Hank replied as he went to stand up again. He didn’t want to fight so early in the morning.

“Hank”. Al sighed. He knew him hiding injuries worried Hank but it was easier than having people worry about him when he didn’t deserve it.

“It’s okay”. Hank turned and left again and Al layed back down not knowing what to do or say.

“I’ll clean the blood”. Al called as he saw Hank starting to clean the now dry blood through the opened bathroom door.

“I got it. I’m just glad it wasn’t anything worse”. Hank called back and Al felt some of the tension leave the room.

“Me too”.

Chapter Text

“Thanks for inviting me”. Antonio said as they all placed their orders.

“No problem Bro. The more the merrier”. Hank replied, getting a snort from his husband in return.

“Anyway…” Erin said from where she sat beside Antonio.

“It’s no problem Tony. You had nothing to do and it’s nice to meet outside of work for the holidays”. Al replied as he sipped his coffee.

Erin started talking about the apartment she and Jay had been looking at the others adding their input periodically.

“I’ll be back in a minute”. Al whispered as he stood up and gestured towards the washrooms.

“Course Darling”. Hank said back and Al headed towards the washrooms.

“Do you need help?” Al asked as he saw a kid struggling to reach the soap dispenser.

“Please”. The young boy said. After helping him Al washed his own hands and exited the bathroom with the boy, making sure he made it back to his seat all right. There was an exit by the bathrooms and as Alvin and the boy passed by the door opened suddenly and two men in masks came inside.

Alvin just had enough time to spot the gun and shield the boy before he felt pain in his stomach. He staggered sideways making sure he wouldn’t hurt the boy before he collapsed to the ground. He pressed his hands to his abdomen and tried to stop the flow of blood. Yells and gunshots were heard near him but Al couldn’t do anything but lay there.

“I got you”. Al’s hands were pushed to the side as a man put more pressure than Al had been able to on his wounds.

“Hank?” Al called weakly knowing there was absolutely no way Hank could hear him over the chaos.

“Alvin”. His name was shouted and then Hank was next to him and grabbing his hand.

“There's two wounds”. The man who was putting pressure explained and Hank gave a nod as he took that information in but Al could see the worry all over his face.

“The boy?” Al rasped. His chest hurt and breathing felt impossible as he struggled for every breath he took.

“He’s safe because of you”. Hank said softly pointing to where the young boy was in his mothers embrace.

“Ambulances are on their way. One more victim bullet wound to arm, Antonio is with her”. Erin said as she kneeled next to the pile of blood that had started under Al.

“Good”. Hank’s voice cracked as he looked at his rapidly fading husband.

“Hal?” Blood sprayed on Al’s lips as he coughed and he vaguely heard Erin ask how much longer the ambo would be.

“Don’t talk Sweetheart please”. Hank begged as he cupped Al’s cheek and ran his finger across it accidently smearing blood on Al’s beautiful face.

Tell.. Lex and Michelle….I love…them”. Alvin slurred ignoring what Hank had told him. He could see the blood growing around him and had a sinking feeling the bullet had hit something vital. That he was dying.

“I…love you”. Al said a moment later as he coughed and sputtered even more. He didn’t want to die on the floor of a restaurant. He wanted to go in Hank's arms.

“Hold me….Hank…pleas…” Al didn’t know if his words were legible at this point but he just wanted to be in his husband's warm and safe arms for his last moments.

“Just hold on a couple more minutes Al”. That was Erin who was crying as she heard the words that were coming out of Al’s mouth.

“Lov…you….too Erin….tell …Justin….” Al gasped out before turning towards Hank as his eyes began closing.

“Don…wanna….di…o..n …hard floor”. Al explained as his head lolled sideways.

“Help me move him”. Hank said through his own tears and the man that was still keeping pressure on Al’s wounds simply nodded as he helped move Alvin as carefully as possible so he was in Hank’s arms.

It had started snowing recently and the roads were most likely slippery which would explain why the ambos were taking so long. The shooters had run but there had been more important things to worry about than running after them in a snowstorm.

“A little longer Darling please. I love you”. Hank begged again as Al laid in his arms and gasped for breath while sobs wracked his body and blood stained his lips and the floor.

“Hal”. He wanted his last words to be Hank’s name. He was in Hank’s arms and the pain would soon be gone. With that thought Al’s eyes finally closed.

“We need help here”. Erin shouted as the ambulances finally arrived and the paramedics rushed inside.

Al was quickly surrounded by paramedics as they did everything they could to save him. He was intubated and moved onto a gurney and into the awaiting ambulance. Hank followed as he grabbed Al’s hand. He was going to hold it for as long as possible.

“I’m here Darling”. Hank whispered as the paramedics worked on Al as they sped to the closest hospital.

xxxxxx

They were all gathered in the hospital waiting room a few hours later. Intelligence, Trudy, Lexi, Michelle and Justin and a handful of cops who had gathered there. It was Christmas Eve so Hank was surprised any had shown up at all. He was currently sitting next to Trudy and Lexi while Antonio quietly talked to Michelle about a boxing technique trying to distract her in any way possible.

Another hour went by and Hank was getting restless. He knew Al’s condition hadn’t been good. He didn’t need to say anything for everybody to figure it out when they first arrived. Hank sat there despite wanting to go and track a doctor down or the people that did this. He needed to be there for his husband's kids. It’s what Alvin would have wanted.

Another thirty minutes went by and by this point it was mid afternoon. Families were getting ready for Christmas while they sat in a waiting room waiting for news on Alvin.

“Hank? Can I talk to you privately?” Will Halstead asked as he came over a grim look on his face. Usually Hank would just tell him to tell all of them here, but Lexi and Michelle didn’t need to hear all the details.

He stood up and the look he shot Trudy was enough of an indicator for her to stand up and follow Will to a private room not far away.

“Is he alive? Will is my husband alive?” Hank asked as soon as the door closed.

“He is. But Alvin flat lined twice during surgery and the bullets did extensive damage to several organs. We have him intubated and in the ICU but Hank…. the odds that Alvin will make it through the night aren’t good. I’m so sorry”.

“He’s going to die? There isn’t anything you can do?” Hank asked desperately as his eyes prickled with tears.

“I’m so sorry. We're monitoring him closely and doing everything we can but you need to prepare you and his children for what could happen”.

“Thank you Will”. Trudy said through her own tears and the doctor stood up shutting the door behind him.

“I can’t lose him. I can’t go through that again. And the girls”. Hank gasped out as he looked at Trudy.

“I’ll tell them. You need to go see your boy”. Trudy said softly as she helped her friend stand.

“I can’t ask you to do that. It Is my responsibility”. Hank argued even if all he wanted was to be next to Alvin it wasn’t fair to push this on Tudy. Not when she would grieve just as much.

“You're not asking me, I’m telling you what I’m doing”. Trudy responded as she embraced her friend.

“Go see him”.

Chapter Text

Alvin was in a coma. That’s what his doctor had told Hank when he entered Al’s hospital room in the ICU. A medically induced coma to give his body time to heal but Hank didn’t miss the look on the doctors face as he exited the room leaving Hank alone with his husband.

“Oh Sweetheart”. Hank collapsed in the chair next to Al’s bed as he took a good look at Alvin after hours of him being in surgery.

The blood that had been on Al’s hands and face had been cleaned leaving a bit around his fingernails that they hadn’t been able to get off. The hospital gown Al was wearing covered the bandages Hank knew were underneath. His chest rose and fell in rhythm with the ventilator secured in Al’s mouth. Two IV lines came out of Al’s right arm and hand and Hank held the left one. Alvin was so pale he was competing with the sheets and the bags under his eyes which were always there, stood out more than ever.

“Alvin”. Hank couldn’t say anything else. He knew others would be in soon and Hank savored the moments alone with Al. Even if he hated what was happening.

Nurses came in and checked Al’s vitals and asked if Hank needed anything but he declined each time. All he needed was to hear Al’s voice again and that was never going to happen. The last time Al had spoken he had begged Hank to hold him while he died and Hank knew he would never forget that.

“The girls?” Hank asked as Trudy entered the room nearly an hour later. Hank hadn’t done anything but sat there and watch Al’s stats while holding his hand.

“They headed home with Erin, Jay and Justin”. Trudy replied as she grabbed a second chair and sat by Hank.

“We talked and the last time they saw Al was last night. They saw him unharmed and laughing and that’s how they need to remember him. That’s how Alvin would want Lexi and Michelle to remember him. Not like his”. Trudy was crying at that point not stopping the tears that stained her face.

“It is”. Hank agreed as he reached over and grabbed Trudy’s hand with his free hand.

“They found the guys who did this. There in the cage”. Trudy said after fifteen minutes of silence.

“Good”.

“I don’t know what to do. If Alvin dies. How to help Lexi and Michelle. When Camille died I could hardly function and you saw how that went for me and Justin. I couldn’t support my child in his grief and I don’t know how to help them”. Hank watched Al’s stats drop as the hours ticked by and he knew it was only a matter of time.

“We're all here Hank. I’m here. You or the girls aren’t going to be alone. I’m so sorry we weren’t there more when Cam died”. Trudy responded as she tore her eyes away from Alvin and faced Hank.

“I pushed everyone away. It wasn’t your fault”. Hank didn’t want this to be about him and what happened before. Not when Alvin was dying in front of them.

xxx

Hank and Trudy stood outside Alvin’s room while the unit said their goodbyes. The doctor had been in recently and urged them to say their goodbyes. Alvin wasn’t getting any better.

Eventually the unit filtered out their faces all teared stained before Trudy went in.

Hank had closed the door but he saw the tears once again stream down Trudy's face as she spoke. When she had stood up again she bent down to kiss Al’s forehead before she left and headed over to him.

“Call me”. Trudy whispered before leaving the hospital.

“It’s just me and you Darling”. Hank said as she checked the time. Three in the morning on Christmas.

It felt like a sick joke. Christmas a holiday people said was magical and here Hank was sitting in a hospital room waiting for Al to die. Waiting for the love of his life to die. All because Alvin had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“This is how you would have wanted it. Going out protecting a kid. It’s likely if you weren't there that boy would have been dead. But Darling please don’t do this”. Hank sobbed and there was no response other than the beeping of the monitors.

“There was so much more we were supposed to do. Watch Lexi and Michelle graduate. Watch them start their own lives. Watch Daniel grow up. Retire and travel. We were going to travel for a year, go to a whole bunch of places. Watch the unit climb up in there careers and become better cops. See Trudy get married. She was going to ask you to be her best man. Told me a couple days ago”. Hank just talked not knowing what else to do.

“I’m so so proud of you. You’ve done such good in your life Al. And I’ll make sure your legacy lives on. That you're remembered and your name is remembered. Nobody will forget you. I won’t forget you”. Hank promised as he kissed Al’s cheek.

“If you're ready then you can go. I’ll take care of everything here. I love you so much”. Hank cried even more as he struggled to get the words out but he couldn’t beg Al to hold on anymore. Not if he couldn’t.

“I’ll be here. I’ll talk until it’s your time to leave”.

At seven in the morning on Christmas day, when children were begging their parents to wake up and open presents because Santa had come. When fresh white snow was outside and the sun was just starting to rise. People were wishing each other a Merry Christmas and people were celebrating.

When so much joy and happiness was happening Hank was sobbing in the doorway as doctors stood around Al’s hospital bed and shook their heads while turning to check the time.

“Time of death 7:02”.

Chapter Text

Alvin’s funeral was over. The last guest had left and the only people there were the unit, Hank, Trudy, Michelle, Lexi and Justin. Very little was said. There wasn’t anything to say. Alvin had left a huge hole in their world and everybody was knee deep in their grief. Eventually Hank, Lexi and Michelle headed back home, Trudy following them. It was hard to be there but with everything going on finding a new place to live wasn’t something else they needed to worry about.

While Lexi would soon be moving out and heading off to College, Michelle was only fifteen and Hank wanted to give her as much stability as possible. Especially with how messy her life had been up to this point. He could never replace her father but he was her step father and would do his best.

Hank had headed into the kitchen to get something to drink a few hours after they had arrived back home. He was grabbing a cup from the cupboard when his vision started blurring. Hank tried to lower himself to the floor but heard the glass smash as it slipped out of his hands. The next moment everything went dark.

xxx

“Hank?” Hank’s eyes slowly opened to face Trudy's concerned ones as she sat beside him on the kitchen floor.

“Sorry”. Hank muttered as he adjusted to his surroundings. He wasn’t surprised he had collapsed. He hadn’t slept for more than a few hours since Alvin's death and with everything going on Hank knew his body would soon give out.

“I’m okay”. Hank reassured Lexi and Michelle as he saw them standing nearby.

With Trudy's help Hank was soon sitting on the couch as everybody retook their seats.

“I’m okay Elle”. Hank promised as he saw the tears in Michelle's eyes.

“If I lose you too then what will happen to me? I can’t go back to foster care Hank. Please”. Michelle was crying again and she angrily wiped at them not wanting to fall apart in front of others. Even if it was only her family.

“You know I can’t promise I’ll always be okay especially with my job, but I’ll be here for you two as long as possible”. Hank understood just how terrifying him fainting would be for two girls that just lost their dad. Especially with Michelle's mother being in jail.

“This whole thing is so unfair. Why dad? Why did it have to be him?” Lexi asked from where she was sitting next to Michelle. Tears streamed down her already tear stained face as she looked at the adults sitting across from her.

”I don’t know Lexi. It isn’t fair your right. Your dad was a good man who protected that boy because that’s what Alvin did”. Trudy responded. Comforting people in their grief wasn’t new for her but her own family was so much harder.

“It might never be okay. But I promise me and Trudy will be here for you guys. We can’t replace your dad. I can’t replace him but we are here”. Hank promised as he looked at the two most important people in his husband's death. Two people Hank swore to his unconscious husband he would protect and care for like his own.

So that’s what he would do.

Chapter Text

When Alvin first woke up from his coma following the stabbing, he noticed dried blood on his hand specifically around his fingernails. It hadn’t been a big worry the first few days when Al could hardly stay awake for longer than fifteen minutes. As the days went on and he could stay awake for longer it became all Al could focus on.

“Darling?” Al looked up a week after he woke up as Hank spoke.

“Yeah?” He peeled his eyes away from his hands so he could properly face Hank.

“Are you alright? I called your name a few times”. Concern was clear in Hank’s eyes and Al only gave a small nod.

“I’m okay. Just tired”. And he was. He knew it was normal with the extensive trauma his body had suffered and Al’s doctor had told him rest was important during recovery.

“A nurse should be here with breakfast shortly”. Hank explained when Al looked like he was paying more attention.

“Sounds good”.

xxx

Al waited until Hank was asleep before he looked at his hands again. They had obviously been cleaned and his nails had been trimmed but he couldn’t help but notice the blood around his fingers that had stained. Seeing the blood made Al feel like he was back there again. Bleeding out on the cold prision floor as he tried to keep his blood in his body.

Everything had hurt as Alvin slowly sunk to the floor. He had seen the blood seep between his fingers and onto the floor. The knife with his blood on it taunted him from where it was only a couple feet away. Al had bled out long enough that he fell unconscious before the guards found him.

He had bled out alone like he deserved.

xxx

He had tried to scrub it off. A couple days later when Al could finally stand up and be in the bathroom alone. He was scrubbing and scrubbing trying to get the blood off. Looking at it made Al feel like he was bleeding out again and he couldn’t keep feeling like that.

“Alvin? Are you alright in there? Do you need any help?” Hank’s panicked voice sounded through the door and Al shut the water off ignoring the fact that the blood was still there.

“I’m almost done”. Al called back as he dried his hands trying his hardest not to look at them.

Hank helped him settle back into bed. The short walk had taken everything out of Al and he knew he would spend most of the afternoon napping.

xxx

It had spread. Alvin didn’t know dried blood could spread but it had. The stains were worse now and it felt almost wet. Fresh maybe.

Was he still there? Maybe all Al thought had happened was just a figment of his imagination. Nobody had saved him and he had bled to death like he deserved.

Somebody might have been calling his name. Alvin wasn’t sure. All he was sure about was the blood on his hands.

xxx

“Al? Sweetheart are you alright?” Hank had asked Al a question about the show they were watching and after not getting an answer, Hank had turned to find Al staring at his hands, his eyes unfocused.

“Darling? What’s wrong?” Hank wasn’t sure if he should call for a nurse or wait it out. The way Al was looking at his hands worried Hank especially with how raw they looked. Hank was surprised nobody had noticed that. That he hadn’t noticed it.

“Owen?” Hank called as he saw Doctor Owen Parker walk by the hospital room.

“Everything okay?” Owen asked as he entered the room.

“I’m not sure how long he’s been like this”. Hank explained as Owen came over and knelt down by the bed.

“Alvin? Can you hear me?”

No verbal reaction came from Al but he did slowly turn his hands around. Owen stood back figuring it was a flashback which he quietly explained to Hank.

“Al? You're safe okay Darling. Whatever you're seeing isn’t happening”. Hank said softly. He reached out and grabbed one of Al’s hands which seemed to get a reaction out of his husband.

“Hal?” Al’s voice sounded far away like he wasn’t fully in the room.

“I’m here”. Hank reassured as Al’s gaze flicked from his hands to Hank and back again.

“I think that was a flashback Alvin. Normal after everything you’ve been through”. Owen explained as Al looked at him.

“It was. I’m okay. Tired”. Alvin was extremely grateful when Owen and Hank nodded and didn’t press him. Hank looked like he wanted to but instead pulled the blanket up so it was covering Alvin and continued holding his hand.

“Then sleep”.

xxx

More hand scrubbing. He had hardly slept, the memories of bleeding out too prominent and real for him to get any relaxing or healing rest. He needed the blood off and then Al could sleep. As soon as his hands were clean he could rest.

“They're clean”. He heard Hank’s voice and then the water was shut off. Al hadn’t even realized Hank was awake.

“There not. Can you not see the blood Hank? I feel like I’m bleeding out everytime I look at them. As soon as they are clean I can sleep”. Alvin tried to turn the water on again. He couldn’t understand why Hank didn’t want him to get the blood off so he would stop feeling like this. It was horrible.

“Alvin there is no blood on your hands. Me and the nurses made sure it was all off. Darling there's no blood”. Hank’s voice was quieter as he led Al back to the hospital bed.

“I can see the blood though. It’s right there Hank. Just let me clean it”. Al tried to get up again, none of this made sense. Of course there was blood on his hands.

“Darling there's no blood. You’ve been through a lot and what you're having is flashbacks as a response to the trauma. But I promise there's no blood”. Hank had moved to sit on the edge of the bed as he wrapped his arms around his injured husband.

“There's no blood”. Hank promised as Al leaned into his embrace.

“It feels like there's blood. It feels like I’m bleeding out”. Al whispered back as Hank hugged him.

“You're not bleeding out. You're healing and safe. Your wounds were stitched up and you're in the hospital, not jail. Your hands are clean and I promise you that”. Hank knew this was all stuff Al needed to hear as he continued talking while still holding his husband.

“You're not bleeding out and there's no blood on your hands”. Hank promised and he would say that as many times as Alvin needed him too.

Chapter Text

Alvin understood why Hank accused him of stealing the money. He did. That didn’t mean he didn’t feel abandoned and betrayed as he left the district. Alvin had been out with Trudy the previous night when Hank’s car had been bombed and he knew it rattled his husband. That Hank was worrying about all that could have happened and needed somebody to blame. And Alvin was the closest person.

He arrived back to the district an hour later after a smoke break and some lunch he didn’t eat. Even if Al didn’t want to be around the unit he knew they needed all hands on deck to solve this case.

It had been as bad as Al thought. The looks everybody gave him when he got back upstairs. Hank and Antonio weren’t there and Al busied himself with figuring out who was behind this. Even if the tension in the air could be felt by everybody there.

xxx

Hank had gone right to the spare room when he got home. Alvin had arrived home first and started making dinner. The pasta he made was done right as Hank pulled up in the driveway.

“Dinners ready”. Al called as Hank headed for the stairs.

“I’m not hungry”. Hank called back, not turning to face Al as he headed up stairs and down the hallway.

Al stood there for a long time before he started packing dinner up. They had fought before but never like this. Al understood though. Hank thought he stole a million dollars and lied about it. Hank had every right to be mad and Al could take it. He had been taking people’s wrongly placed anger his whole life.

Going upstairs later to find the spare room door shut and their bedroom empty made Al feel ever worse as he got into bed. If he cried that night nobody had to know.

xxx

By the time Alvin got up the next morning and got ready for the day Hank was already gone. The day was just as tense as the last. The unit exchanged glances when they thought Al wasn’t looking and Hank ignored him. Any attempt at talking to his husband caused Hank to walk away. The only one who treated him normally was Trudy and for that Alvin was thankful.

They spent the day trying to figure out who was behind this and making little progress. Al didn’t even attempt to make dinner that night having a feeling Hank would head right upstairs whenever he got home. He just got himself some yogurt and ate it out on the back porch. Midway through his meal he heard Hank’s car pull up. By the time Al came back inside Hank was upstairs and in the spare room.

He headed upstairs himself. Despite his best attempts Al couldn’t help comparing this to his failed marriage. He tried to be a good husband this time around and wasn’t sure exactly what he had done wrong.

Did Hank really think he would steal all that money and lie about it? Alvin thought Hank knew him better and that realization hurt more than he would ever admit.

xxx

Hank was gone again and Al didn’t rush getting ready the next morning.

If he was in a better headspace he would've realized something was wrong with his car.

If he was paying more attention he wouldn’t have put his key in his car.

But Al was tired and his emotions were all over the place and he felt abandoned and just wanted to get the day over with.

So he put his key in the car. He should've expected it. For his car to be the next one bombed.

The next moment his car was on fire and he was hitting the driveway as the world erupted in pain and darkness.

xxx

Everything hurt. That was the first coherent thought Al had as he slowly woke up to find himself in a hospital room.

“Your awake Detective”. A nurse greeted as she entered the room and checked his vitals.

“What happened?” Al asked. There was nobody in the room with him and that shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.

“I’ll get the doctor to explain that to you”. The nurse said before she left and Alvin was left waiting.

His leg and several ribs had broken from when the explosion forced him back. He had several burns, bruises and cuts but nothing that wouldn’t heal.
They had called Hank but he hadn’t answered his phone. Alvin knew it was only a matter of time before Intelligence found out what happened and arrived at the hospital. After the doctor informed him his belongings were in the nightstand he grabbed them.

He placed his rings and bracelets back on before grabbing his phone and turning it on. There were some cracks on the screen but Al was pleasantly surprised it still worked. He had three miss calls from Erin and one from both Jay and Adam and that confirmed his suspicions that they had found out.

He was just about to call Erin back when she entered the room Jay behind her.

“I was just about to call you”. Al said as they both entered. He knew his face was scratched up as they both looked him over. His leg was splinted and waiting for a cast.

“Are you alright?” Jay asked hesitantly as Erin pulled a chair up next to his bed.

“Peachy. Just peachy”.

“You look it. Anyway I was able to get a hold of Hank and Antonio and inform them on what happened and there on their way. The rest of the unit is still running the case and Trudy was finding a replacement for the front desk before she headed over here as well”. Erin explained quietly.

“I don’t need everyone leaving their jobs over me. I’ll be fine”. Alvin responded as he layed back down.

“Darling”. Whatever Erin and Jay were going to say was forgotten as Hank entered the room Antonio following behind.

“Hank”. Al saw Jay, Erin and Antonio all leave the room and close the curtain behind them.

“How bad?” Hank asked softly as he perched on the end of the hospital bed.

“Broken leg and a couple broken ribs. Doc said they’ll be in to cast my leg soon”. Those were his major injuries and Hank could clearly see the scratches and bruises so Alvin didn’t mention them.

“I’m so sorry”. Hank apologized as he reached out and grabbed Al’s hand.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t bomb my car. At least you know it wasn’t me now”.

“Al…” Hank sighed and Al only shook his head.

“I don’t blame you. It’s okay. Just can everything go back to normal now?” Al asked hesitantly as he looked at his husband.

“You should blame me. My behavior was out of line. I blamed you for this when I had no proof and ignored you for days. If I had been there maybe you wouldn’t be hurt”. Hank ranted as he looked at Al’s injuries. Hank knew it could have been way worse and was grateful it wasn’t.

“I’m fine, Hank. I’ll be out of work for a bit but I’m okay”. Alvin reassured. He didn’t care that he was the one injured. As long as Hank wouldn’t ignore him anymore. The feeling of being abandoned and ignored was one Al didn’t want to feel ever again.

Chapter Text

Alvin had been recovering from the flu when the tingling in his hands and feet started. It had been easy to ignore at first. Sure it was annoying but Al could do this job just fine.

It was about three days after the tingling started when his legs felt weaker than usual. Standing for long periods of time became difficult and Al could tell Hank realized something was going on. By the time Al woke up on day six he could hardly stand. The weakness was spreading up his body and only getting worse.

“What’s going on?” Hank asked after steadying Al and helping him sit back down after he almost face planted trying to stand up.

“It was just tingling and pins and needles in my hands and feet at first. After a few days my legs started getting weaker and it’s only got worse and spread”. Alvin explained as he looked at his husband.

“We're going to head to Med and figure out what’s going on”. Hank decided as he stood up and started packing a bag for them. He had a feeling they were going to need it.

“I’ll need help walking”. Al said as he got his legs over the side of the bed. He hated asking for help but he also knew there was no way he was making it downstairs on his own.

“I can carry you”. Hank offered as Al leaned all his weight on Hank and his legs shook under him.

Al just gave a small nod. Hank didn’t say anything as he picked Al up in a bridal carry and helped him into the front seat of the car. After Al was settled Hank ran back inside and grabbed the bag he had packed and started driving to the hospital.

“Have you been injured recently?” Hank asked partway through the drive.

“No. It just started out of the blue”. Al tried not to get too frustrated at Hank’s question. He knew why Hank was asking. Alvin hid a lot of injuries but it also felt like Hank didn’t believe him.

“I’m not doubting you Darling. Not at all. I’m just trying to get all the facts”. Hank responded as he saw his husband's face.

“Sorry”. Al mumbled as he looked out the window.

“Don’t be. I bet this is a lot”.

“I’m scared Hal”. Al admitted as they arrived at the hospital.

“Will figure this out. I promise”. Hank squeezed Al’s hand before he exited the car to find a doctor and a wheelchair.

xxx

“Guillain-Barré syndrome?” Al confirmed as Doctor Halstead told him his diagnosis.

“It’s a rare neurological disorder where the body’s immune system attacks the peripheral nervous system which is the part of the nervous system outside the brain and spinal cord. GBS can be quite sudden and develop rapidly". Will explained to Alvin and Hank.

“What should we be expecting? Is there a treatment available?” Hank asked as he held Al’s hand.

“It usually starts with tingling and weakness which Alvin has already been experiencing. From there it turns into muscle weakness and can turn into paralysis. There's treatments that can help the disease but not stop it. The first two weeks is when the condition gets the worse”. Will spent the next hour explaining what Alvin should expect before he quietly left.

“I just want to sleep”. Al mumbled. He had been experiencing symptoms for nearly a week and was already starting to have trouble breathing which wasn’t a good sign. The idea that it would only continue getting worse terrified him.

“I’ll be here”. Hank reassured.

xxx

“I can’t feel my legs”. Al said as Will came into check on him three days later.

“That is following the usual progression of the disease. The next week the weakness and paralysis will continue to spread”. Will replied as he came further into the hospital room.

Alvin didn’t say anything as Will checked him over. He knew there was nothing anyone could do but let the disease work.

“I’ll be in to check on you later Al”. Alvin nodded as Will left the room leaving him alone again. Trudy and him had finally convinced Hank to leave the room and get something to eat so Al was enjoying the silence. He loved his husband but Hank’s constant worry didn’t help either of them.

“Bad time?” Al looked to see Antonio standing outside of the room.

“My legs are paralyzed but other than that”. Al replied sarcastically as Antonio pulled up a chair. He hadn’t wanted to see much people recently and other than Hank and Trudy, Antonio was the only one Al was okay with seeing him like this.

“I brought cards. Want to play?” Antonio asked. He knew Al didn’t want to talk about what was happening right now.

“Sure”.

xxx

“Hal?” Al muttered later that night as pain shot up his back.

“What’s up?” Hank asked quietly as he moved from the pull out couch to Al’s hospital bed.

“Hurts”.

“I need more context than that Darling”.

“My back”. Al said. The pain was also part of this disease but it had yet to be this bad and severe. He felt tears come to his eyes as another wave of pain hit.

“Alright. It’s okay”. Hank reassured as he quickly found a nurse and explained what was going on. Soon enough Al had been given more pain meds and they were left alone.

“That better?” Hank asked softly.

“A bit”. Alvin just closed his eyes. Sleep was the only thing that gave him a break from the pain.

xxx

It was quickly discovered Al had a more severe version of GBS. The weakness continued spreading as the hours ticked by.

“Have you been holding my hand the whole time?” Al questioned as he looked away from the move they had been watching to see Hank’s hand in his.

“Since the movie started”. Hank’s voice was quiet as they came to the same conclusion.

“I can’t feel my arms. It’s also harder to breathe”. Alvin admitted as Hank stood up. He already had a nasal cannula in but knew it wasn’t giving his weakening lungs enough oxygen.

Will and a nurse were soon back in his room and the cannula was switched for an oxygen mask. With Alvin’s arms being paralyzed and him starting to have trouble speaking and swallowing it was decided they would insert an NG tube for nutrition.

“You're doing so good”. Hank praised as he squeezed Al’s hand even if his husband couldn’t feel it. Al gagged as the tube was put in through his nose. Once the tube was finally in and Al was laying down as comfortably as possible the room emptied out again.

“I hate this”. Al said his words muffled from the mask and slurred from the paralysis making its way through his body.

“I know Sweetheart. I’m sorry we can’t stop this”. Hank replied as he cupped Al’s cheek. They both knew there was a high chance Al would have to be intubated if the paralysis reached his organs. And that was looking more and more likely as time went on.

“Not your fault”. Al muttered as he managed a weak smile.

xxx

By the two week point Al was sedated and intubated as the disease reached its peak. They were hopeful it would start getting better from here.

Hank spent most of his time at Al’s side only leaving when he had too and to update Michelle, Lexi or the unit. Al hadn’t wanted any of them seeing him like this and Hank couldn’t find it in him to break Al’s request.

Trudy also spent a good chunk of her time at Al’s side while they waited for him to wake up.
Two weeks after Al was intubated and four weeks since he had been having symptoms of GBS, he finally woke up.

“Darling? Can you open your eyes?” Hank whispered one evening. Al had been extubated that morning and the doctors were hopeful he would wake up shortly.

“Hal?” Al’s voice was hardly audible as his tired eyes found Hank’s. He weakly squeezed Hank's hand and a small smile spread across Al’s face.

“I can feel my arms”. Al muttered as his eyes closed again.

“I’m glad to hear it Darling”. Hank replied Al’s smile mirrored on his face as he squeezed Alvin’s hand back.

xxx

“Weakness in your body is normal”. Hank reassured after another day of physical therapy that left Al drained and defeated.

“I can’t take two steps without collapsing”. Al argued back. It had been months of recovery and Alvin didn’t feel like he was getting any better.

He had been discharged and was home now and eating regular meals again but his mobility continued to be a struggle. Al knew it was normal but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with. He just wanted his life back.

“You heard what Will said. It’s possible some weakness will always be there. I’ll have to retire”. They had talked about Al’s retirement briefly but it wasn’t something Alvin had wanted to think about yet.

“Then we both retire. Travel like we always talked about. Who cares if you’ll need a cane? We can just plan our travels around that”. Hank responded as he sat next to Al on their bed. While Al’s arms were still a bit weaker than they had been, his legs definitely gave him the most trouble.

“Hank, I can’t just ask you to give up your job and unit for me”. Al exclaimed as he looked at his husband like he was crazy.

“We were going to do it eventually. Why not now?” Hank asked back. He had talked it over with Trudy so at least Al couldn’t accuse him of being rash.

“You're insane”. Al didn’t really know what to say. It sounded amazing. Like all he thought of, but Alvin also hoped they would still have more years of work. Not that it would all end like this.

Hank only chuckled as he held Al.

xxx

Even more months of work and therapy and Alvin was walking again. Even after all that the pain still was there in his legs and arms and he knew he wasn’t working again.

With his cane in one hand and Hank’s hand in the other, they entered the district to talk to the team and announce their plans of retirement. They had already talked with Trudy and their kids and decided to leave for the start of their travel in the summer so Lexi and Michelle could join.

The unit took it as well as they had both expected. It was bittersweet. They were leaving a unit that had become their family but they were also starting the next chapter of their life.

It had been decided Antonio would take over and Jay would move into the second of command position. After they caught a case, Intelligence left while Hank and Alvin packed up their stuff before heading back to their home.

xxx

The pain was still there. Years later and it still lingered. Some days were worse than the others. Some days Al was good to walk with his cane through the streets of wherever they were. Some days he could hardly move and they spent those day’s curled up in bed.

It hadn’t been what they expected for their life but both men enjoyed it. It came with challenges but it was rewarding all the same. They came back to Chicago often to see their friends and kids but spent the majority of the time traveling.

Until the pain started getting more severe and frequent as Alvin aged and they made the hard decision to head back to Chicago permanently. They would still travel occasionally but they had bought a house again and settled down.

Life worked in the most unexpected ways but Hank and Alvin were grateful for every day they got with each other.

Chapter Text

Hank noticed it a couple days after Alvin first woke up. Al had been quiet, not saying much and sleeping for most of the day. The doctor reassured Hank it was normal and Hank wasn’t too worried. He knew his husband pretty well and knew this was normal behavior for Alvin. Especially while recovering from a major injury. Hank didn’t realize something was wrong until day four of Al being awake.

“Good morning Darling. Sleep well?” Hank asked once he realized Al was awake.

“Alvin?” Hank perched on the edge of the hospital bed as he noticed Al’s unfocused eyes that were roaming across the room.

“Are you alright?” Hank grabbed Al’s hand as he tried to get a reaction out of his husband.

“Where… where am I?” Al whispered as he continued looking around the room.

“You're in the hospital”. Hank replied calmly.

“Where?” Confusion was clear in Al’s voice as he turned to face Hank, his eyes finally focusing on something.

“The hospital. You were hurt and they're helping you”. Hank really needed to call a nurse and the doctor but as he went to get up, Al refused to let go of his hand and Hank was at a loss on what he was supposed to do.

“Hurt?” Al’s voice was still heavy with confusion as he looked at the machines next to him.

“You were hurt. Stabbed in the abdomen”. Hank explained as he turned to try to call a nurse over. Unfortunately turning around gave Alvin a great opportunity to grab at the IV in his arm.

“Alvin, leave that alone”. Hank knew something was wrong as he restrained Al who still looked extremely confused at everything happening around him. Hank’s yelling had attracted Doctor Parker who came into the room.

“Everything okay?” Owen asked as he entered the hospital room.

“Somethings wrong. Alvin just woke up and he’s confused. Keeps asking where he is and doesn’t seem to understand what happened to him”. Hank explained, still holding down Al’s arms.

“Let go”. Al said as he tried to pull his arms free of Hank’s grasp.

“You can let go Hank”. Owen said as he pulled a chair up, and Hank slowly let go of his husband.

“Alvin, do you know what day it is?” Owen asked. He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

“No”.

“What about the month?”

“December?” Al replied, his voice uncertain as he started looking around the room again.

“Hank, can I talk to you?” Owen asked after he talked to Al for a couple more minutes.

Hank nodded and stood up, following Owen outside the room so he could still keep an eye on Alvin.

“It looks like Postoperative Delirium. It can last anywhere from a few days to a few months. It is good we caught it early though. All you can do right now is remind him where he is and what day, month it is. Maybe bring some stuff in from home?” Owen suggested.

“We just have to wait it out?” Hank asked back as he looked at his husband who had laid down again and was quietly muttering.

“That’s all you can do”. Owen responded. Soon enough he went to check on the rest of his patients and Hank headed back into the room.

“It’s March Fourth. You're in the hospital after you were severely injured a few weeks ago”. Hank said quietly as he grabbed one of his sweaters from his bag and placed it beside Alvin.

Alvin still looked confused and lost as his tired eyes closed. He reached out and grabbed the sweater though and Hank gave a small smile.

“You’ll be okay”. Hank whispered as he looked at his husband.

This was just a minor setback. Nothing they couldn’t handle.

Chapter Text

“What do we have?” Alvin asked as he got out of his car and headed over to his boyfriend.

His boyfriend. Saying that was new for Alvin but it made him smile every time. They had been taking it slow so far and while it had been a bit weird at first their relationship was strong and stable. Al had felt a bit like he was betraying Camille when he and Hank started dating. He was sure she wouldn’t mind and knew she wanted Hank to find somebody else to love, but after all she had done for him it had been hard for Al to not feel like he was betraying one of his best friends.

It was good though. Once he had worked through those feelings. Lexi was happy for him. She was glad he had found somebody to love and even more happy it was her beloved uncle.

Lexi had turned into an awesome teenager and young woman. If Al had to say so. The past year she had started asking more and more questions about his and Meredith's relationship and that had ended up with Al explaining some of it with her. Meredith had sent Lexi birthday and Christmas cards and presents the first few years after the divorce but that soon stopped and Lexi stopped asking about her.

Alvin had always hated he couldn’t give his daughter a mother but hoped she had still had a good childhood with what Al could provide. But life was doing well for them both. Until today that is.

“Homeless woman found dead. Drug overdose”. Hank explained as they headed over to the body where Antonio and Jay already were.

“Same dealer?” They had been investigating a drug dealer responsible for a series of drug overdoses the last week.

“Seems like it. What do we know about her?” Hank asked as they arrived at the body.

“Had her wallet on her. Meredith Wright. Fifty Three”. Antonio replied and Al felt the world stop as he got a good look at the woman's face. It was dirty and aged but Alvin knew.

“Hank”. That was Erin who had been following them and seemed to figure out who she was. Hank realized soon after and was guiding Alvin away from the body.

“It’s okay. Alvin you're okay. I need you to breathe Darling”. Hank whispered as he got Al back to the car and sitting inside. Hank knelt down outside the car so he could help Al.

“I can’t”. Al gasped out. It felt like a sick joke. It couldn’t be her. This couldn’t be happening.

“Yes you can. Sweetheart it’s okay”. Hank grabbed Al’s hand and urged his boyfriend to take deep breaths.

It took time but soon Alvin was breathing properly again.

“We're going to head back to the district”. Hank said once Al had calmed down some. Hank stood up and headed into the drivers side and started driving back to the district.

Al didn’t say anything as he stared at his shaking hands. There was nothing to say.

xxx

“Who is she?” Jay asked right away as Hank led Alvin away from the body.

The question was directed at Erin who seemed to be the only one who wasn’t confused out of there mind.

Erin didn’t say anything as she walked closer to the body. She got one good kick to the dead woman's ribs before Antonio was pulling her away.

“Erin. Who is she?” Antonio demanded. This wasn’t some random victim.

“Alvin’s ex wife. Lexi’s mother”. Erin responded as more cops arrived and intelligence headed back to their cars.

Erin headed back to her car before anybody else could ask more questions. It wasn’t her story to tell.

xxx

“What happened to him?” Trudy asked Hank as he and Al entered the district.

“I’m right here”. Alvin muttered as he headed upstairs.

“Can you come up?” Trudy didn’t hesitate as she followed her friends upstairs and into Hank’s office where they all sat down.

“Meredith is dead”. Al stated as he laid down on Hank’s couch.

“What happened?” Trudy knew she was missing information and also knew Alvin wasn’t going to give it to her.

“She was related to the string of overdoses we’ve been investigating. Found her dead on the street. She looks like she’s been living there a while”. Hank explained as he tapped his fingers on his desk and watched his boyfriend worriedly.

“I’m going to get something to eat”. Al said suddenly as he stood up and grabbed his jacket from where he had set it on a chair.

“Al…” Hank started as his boyfriend exited his office.

“I’ll be back in a bit”. Al replied as he left.

Alvin found himself wandering the streets. He wasn’t hungry and knew he couldn’t eat right now if he tried. Al just walked and walked while he tried to make sense of that morning. Everything had been fine until he saw her. It had been over a decade since they last saw each other and he wasn’t sure how he felt. Al wasn’t sure if there was a way to explain how you felt after seeing your abusive dead ex wife.

Al just walked and walked until Hank called him and he turned back around and headed back to the district.

xxx

“Lexi?” Alvin asked hesitantly over dinner that night. He had talked it over with Hank earlier and decided to tell Lexi what had happened. She deserved to know.

“Dad?” Lexi responded sarcastically as she looked at her dad and Uncle Hank.

“Everything okay?” Sure they had looked more serious than usual but Lexi knew that came with the job.

“We found your mother dead on the street this morning. Meredith”. Al wasn’t sure what to refer to Meredith as. Lexi didn’t talk about her often.

“Dead? Do you know how?” Lexi asked as she moved her plate out of the way and focused on the men in front of her.

“Drug overdose. It connects to a string of overdoses we’ve been investigating recently”. Hank explained.

“She’s been doing drugs?” This was a lot of information and Lexi could only focus on one part at a time. Her mother was dead. Even if she wasn’t a good mother she was still Lexi’s mother.

“At least at the time of her death. It’s likely before though”. Al said. He hadn’t been working on the case but Hank had filled him in.

“I’m going to head into my room. Call Erin”. Lexi stated and the next minute she was gone.

“I’m glad she and Erin have each other. Both know what it’s like to have shitty Mother’s”. Hank commented a minute later after silence came over the room.

“Yeah”. Al mumbled. He wasn’t sure how to talk to Lexi. Al didn’t think there was anything to say at a time like this.

“She just needs some time”. Hank explained as he gathered their plates from dinner.

“I know”. After putting away the leftovers from dinner, Al grabbed his jacket and headed outside.

He sat on the porch for nearly an hour before Hank joined him and they sat there silently until the sun went down.

xxx

Intelligence was still investigating the case the next day. Alvin still chose to come in and head into Hank’s office to work on paperwork. Before entering Hank’s office he caught a glimpse of Meredith. The picture they had taken of her body. Of the woman who made his live a living hell.

Al felt glad in a way. He felt like he was constantly living on the edge waiting for her to shove her way back into his life and Lexi’s life. Her being dead made sure she couldn’t do that.

For years following the day Al finally left that house, his friends had reassured him he was safe but Alvin never truly felt safe. Until today. Until the day she couldn’t hurt him or his daughter ever again

xxx

Al looked up from the paperwork he was finishing as Hank entered the office hours later.

“Are they asking questions?” Al guessed as he saw the look on Hank’s face.

“Yep. Erin said she was your ex wife and Lexi’s mother but nothing else and they know there's more. You don’t need to tell them”. Hank said. He sat next to Al and looked at his boyfriend.

“It’s okay. They should know. Domestic abuse against men is talked about so little but it’s important”. Using it as a teaching moment made the idea of telling even a bit of his story easier.

Alvin and Hank coming out of the office made the chatter die down and soon everybody was focusing on him and Al took a deep breath as he and Hank grabbed chairs and sat down.

“Meredith Wright was my ex wife as you guys know, and Lexi’s mother. She was abusive, Meredith was. Against me. I stayed for years. At first it was because I thought it would get better and after Lexi was born it was so she would grow up in a normal family. Not a broken one. When Lexi was three I tried to leave. It was just going to be for a few days but she caught me before I could leave and threatened to hurt herself and then Lexi so that night me and Lexi left. I headed to Trudy’s and later Camille and Hank’s. There wasn’t enough evidence to get Meredith arrested but after a long court case I got full custody and last I heard Meredith left Chicago”.

Silence followed Al’s story. A lot of details were missing but he kept enough in so they got a clear story of his abusive relationship. Admitting Meredith had been abusive had taken Al a long long time to finally say out loud.

“Thank you for telling us”. Antonio said a couple moments later. He could just imagine how hard that had been for his friend.

Al gave a small nod before he headed back into Hank’s office.

“Were done here if you want to go home?” Hank offered.

“Please”.

xxx

Later that night he and Lexi talked again. It was emotional for both of them but was needed.

After Lexi headed to her room Al headed to his bedroom where Hank was waiting. He had known Al and Lexi needed space to talk.

“How are you feeling?” Hank asked once Al changed and got into bed.

“I don’t know. Too much”. Al stated as he flicked off his lamp.

Hank got the message and finished up the page he was reading and turned off his own lamp. Hank just held his boyfriend while Al tried to sleep. He knew Meredith’s death had been a lot for Al.

“It’s over”. Hank whispered as Alvin finally fell asleep that night after they had both laid there for hours.

Alvin wouldn’t have to live in fear she would come back again. That she would hurt him or Lexi. Even after a decade Hank knew the fear never really left Alvin.

“It’s all over”.

Chapter Text

Alvin had been sitting outside an abandoned house waiting for the rest of his team. They had spent the last day searching for a young boy everywhere until they finally located him in the house.

As the minutes ticked on and nobody arrived Alvin made a decision and got out of his car. The man they had been investigating wasn’t known for being patient and Al didn’t want to waste anymore time when it meant they could have a dead five year old.

He headed closer to the door with his gun out. Footsteps were heard and Alvin quickly turned around to meet the face of the man they had suspected to be behind this.

Darren Brown. He had been suspected of being involved in the disappearance of several children over the years but had yet to be caught.

Alvin only got a good look at the guy's face before his world erupted in pain and he fell forward.

xxx

“Sir?” Alvin regained consciousness to find a young boy near him.

Carter. The kid they had been looking for.

They were both in some kind of warehouse. Obviously Brown had moved them from the house. Both Al and Carter's arms were tied together and to a pipe behind them. Their ankles were also tied together and Al could only hope the team would find them in time.

“I’m Alvin. You must be Carter?” Al asked as he turned to the kid who didn’t seem to see him as a threat. Probably since he was also tied up.

“I am. Did bad man get you too?”

Al didn’t have time to answer Carter’s question before Darren Brown entered.

“Good your awake Detective. Usually I stick to kids but I’m sure I can make an exception for you”. The man said with a sick smile as he came closer to Al.

“Thanks for being so generous”. Alvin replied sarcastically. He would say anything if it meant Darren would stay away from the kid and not hurt him even more.

“You're one of the cops trying to stop me. It’s a shame none of you have figured out I can’t be stopped”.

“You kidnapped a cop. It’s funny you think you’ll get away with this”. Al responded just as kicks to his ribs started.

Alvin curled up as the assault continued. He heard his ribs cracking under Darrens boots. Kicks landed all over his body. Eventually Darren stopped and Alvin was left curled up and wheezing.

His chin was forced up and he faced Darren who was smirking again.

“Not so tough now are we?” Darren asked.

“Go to hell”. Al spat. He was looking into the face of a child murderer. Someone who took innocent children and tortured them then killed them. Al could just imagine what this monster would do to him.

Punches were aimed right to his face. His nose broke and blood started staining his face. Darren soon moved and untied his right hand and moved it back out in front of Al. .

“Leave him alone”. Carter shouted and Al felt his heart sink as Darren turned around.

“Carter look away”. Alvin instructed.

“I would listen Kid. Unless you want me to come back and have some more fun with you?” Dareen suggested and fear filled Carter's young face.

“Leave him alo….” Al’s response was cut off as his finger was forced backwards and snapped.

The second finger was broken and Darren only continued. Al let out a moan of pain he tried his hardest to hide.

“One done, one to go”. Darren tied his hand back up and grabbed Al’s second one.

“Stop”. Al tried to say but it didn’t do a thing as all his fingers were broken once again. Darren tied this hand back up and despite Al’s best attempts he cried out as his broken fingers were jostled roughly.

“Your turn”. Darren declared as he headed back over to Carter.

“Stay away from him Darren. Don’t touch him”. Alvin shouted as Darren walked closer and closer to Carter. Carter closed his eyes as Darren started kicking him the same way he had been hurting Al. Carter’s clothes were already torn in places and Al knew he was already injured. Darren had him already for nearly two days and this man didn’t wait.

Alvin could only listen to Carter’s cries of pain while helpless to stop it or help him.

“Leave him alone. You can hurt me”. Al shouted again. It didn’t do anything and Alvin tried to get up. His body protested any movement and he soon could do nothing but lay there and watch as Darren tortured and beat a young child.

“I’ll be back. I suggest neither of you move”. Darren moved away from Carter leaving the kid shaking and crying on the floor.

Darren left the door shutting behind him.

“Carter? Can you hear me?” Al asked softly once Darren’s footsteps had faded away.

“Sir?” Carter's weak response and Al breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m Alvin. No need to call me sir”. Al responded as the kid focused on him.

“We're going to get out of here. I promise you”.

“I want to see my sister. She’s my best friend”. Carter said quietly as he looked at the man across from him.

“Yeah. What’s her name?” Al needed to keep Carter awake just in case there were injuries he couldn’t see. He knew there most likely were.

“Vivi. She’s three”. Carter replied as he thought about his perfect little sister.

“She can be annoying sometimes but I love her the most in the whole wide world”. Carter said as a smile spread across his bruised face.

“Sisters are like that. I have a sister too”. Trudy wasn’t his biological sister but she was his sister in every other sense.

“What’s her name?” Carter asked. He thought it was cool they both had sisters. Sisters were the best.

“Trudy”. Al responded quietly. He knew the team would be on their way. Hank would make sure of that. They just needed to hold on.

“I’m a cop. My team is on their way, they will find us”.

“Promise?”

“I promise Carter”. Al said. He would protect this kid until his dying breath.

Footsteps were heard again and Darren re entered rage clear on his face.

“Your people are closing in. I’m sure they will be glad to know they’ve failed”. Darren ranted and Al realized he was now holding a gun.

“Alvin said they will save us. You won’t hurt us anymore”. Carter yelled and Alvin felt dread set in as Darren laughed.

“You think you’ll make it out of here alive? Oh to be so naive”.

“No, no. Stay away from him”. Al begged as Darren walked closer to Carter and Carter grew quiet as his eyes closed again.

“Kill me instead. Please”. Al hated begging with every fiber of his being but he would do it if it meant Carter lived. He was only five.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” Darren asked as he held his gun in front of him. Cars were heard outside and then several sets of footsteps.

“Kill me please”. Al’s begging fell on deaf ears as a gunshot echoed through the building and the door was opened.

“Carter”. Al shouted as blood grew around Carter. Darren fell onto the floor and Alvin started struggling against his restraints and bounds.

“Alvin. Darling stay still”. Al ignored the pain. He needed to get to Carter.

The restraints were removed and Al tried to stand up. Hank had a hand around his waist as Alvin dragged himself to where Carter was laying a hole in his head.

“You need to save him”. Al begged his team that was standing near him. Nobody moved and Alvin tried doing CPR. His broken fingers reminded him they were there and Al cried out.

“Darling he’s gone. I’m so sorry”. Hank muttered as he moved Alvin away and tried to get a good look at his husband and check for injuries.

“I promised him”. Alvin mumbled as Hank lifted up his shirt exposing his injuries to everybody.

“We need an ambulance”. Hank called out as he took a look at Alvin who had yet to look away from Carter. Losing a kid on the job was hard but Hank knew it would be even harder for his husband to process this time.

“I’m fine. You need to save Carter. He needs to be with his sister”. Al said desperately.

“Tony help me move him”. Hank ordered and Antonio carefully helped Hank move Alvin outside and away from the dead kid.

“I promised him”. Al mumbled as they waited for an ambulance to arrive.

xxx

“Hey Sweetheart”. Hank greeted as Al’s dark eyes opened the next day. Alvin had lost consciousness partway through the ambulance ride and had yet to regain consciousness.

“I need to talk to Carter's family”. Alvin said ignoring his husband as he tried to sit up his body protesting the movement and forcing him back down.

“Alvin, all your fingers are broken. You have several broken ribs, a broken nose and half your body is one big bruise. You can’t be moving right now”. Hank explained. He got up from the chair he was sitting on and sat next to Al on the hospital bed.

“It’s not your fault. Darren Brown was a monster. You tried Al and Carter’s family knows that. The only person they blame for their son’s death is Darren Brown”. Hank had Jay and Hailey talk to Carter’s family and knew that was true. This family had just lost their little boy but made sure Intelligence knew they didn’t blame Alvin at all.

“I should have tried harder to convince Darren to kill me instead”. Tears built in Al’s eyes as he talked.

“It’s not your fault”. Hank reassured as Al started sobbing.

“Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.” Hank said softly as he held his injured husband.

“I promised. I promised him I would get him out of there and I failed”.