Chapter Text
Just please don't say you love me, cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
Cause I might not say it back
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“And here we are!” The dorm’s Resident Advisor announced cheerfully. He had entirely too much energy, and all the freshman wanted to do was settle into his room and sleep. He nodded to the guy, having already forgotten his name, and opened the door to his new home for the next year. He was immediately accosted by a too-tall-to-be-real human with silver-blond hair and a voice loud enough to be heard in the next building.
“Hi! How’re you doing? It’s nice to meet you! I’m Haiba Lev!”
“Um, I’m Kozume. Kenma.” The freshman edged cautiously around his new roommate to the unoccupied half of the room. He noticed with some relief that the college had already delivered and assembled his loft, leaving one less thing for Kenma to worry about. His roommate- Lev?- had lofted his bed, too, making the small room feel more spacious than it actually was. Kenma plopped his duffle bag down on the desk, turning his back to Lev.
Undeterred, Lev continued chatting. “So, where are you from? What’s your major? How old are you? Do you like to play sports? I’m 19 and I’m from Tokyo! My dad is Russian, but I was born here. I don’t speak a word of Russian, though I wish I did! It would be so cool to learn another language. Do you speak any other languages?”
Kenma sighed. He got the feeling Lev won’t let up unless he answered some of his questions. It was different, having someone actually talk to him. His parents had spent the better part of the last three years pretending he didn't exist. Kenma shoved that thought into the back of his mind. “Um, I’m from Nerima. I’m 18. And, um, majoring in graphic design.”
“Graphic design! That’s so cool! So do you like art and stuff? You must be really talented! I haven’t picked my major yet. I want to do some of everything.” Lev rambled.
Kenma forced himself to nod, not wanting to be rude. He had to live with the guy for the next year, after all. He continued unpacking, trying to ignore Lev’s intense staring. Everything he owned fit into one barely-half-full duffel bag. He pulled out his precious 3DS and games first, putting them to the side on his desk. His faded backpack came next. It was well-worn, but it was clean and only had 2 rips. Kenma didn’t mind the wear and tear, because it still functioned and that was all he needed. Four novels follow the backpack, each more beat up than the last. Lev noticed those.
“Wow! Those books are really worn! I’m not much for reading, but you must have really enjoyed those stories! My sister says the best stories are in the most beat-up books. I never really believed her, but it must be true! Maybe I’ll have to try one of those stories…” Lev’s voice trails off.
Curiosity finally getting the better of him, Kenma turned to look at his roommate. Lev looked faintly disappointed. He gestured sheepishly towards the books.
“They’re… all in English. I don’t speak a word of English.” He then brightened so quickly it gave Kenma emotional whiplash. “Wow! That means you speak English! That’s so cool, Kozume-san!”
He found himself muttering, “just Kenma is fine. I don’t really care for honorifics all that much.” He turned back to his duffel, pulling his few clothes out. He wore a school uniform 6 days a week for most of his life, so he didn’t have much in the way of actual clothes. He hung his hoodie and old jacket up in the closet, put his old gym shoes on the floor next to his Converse, and dumped his shirts, pants, and undergarments into the dresser, figuring he’d fold them later (note: he never did, in fact, fold them later). Finally, he pulled out his pencil bag and the notebooks his high school English teacher gave him as a graduation present.
Lev noticed that he didn't pull out any textbooks and jumped on it. “Hey! You haven’t gotten your textbooks yet, right? Let’s go together! Then we can explore the campus a bit!”
Kenma debated for a bit. He really didn’t want to go out, but he did need to get his books, and it would be nice to go to the crowded bookstore with a somewhat familiar face. He turned back to his duffel, pulled out his sketchbooks and colored pencil set, placed them carefully on the desk and threw his duffel on the top shelf of his closet. It landed somewhat precariously, hanging over the edge, but it was on the shelf so Kenma deemed it good enough. He wasn’t tall enough to reach up there anyways to bother fixing it. He scowled inwardly about stupidly tall people who can reach top shelves, noting that Lev’s shelf was neatly organized and his closet is stuffed full and holy heck why does one person have so many clothes? Finished, he turned to Lev.
Lev took that as agreement and moved to drag Kenma out of the dorm by the elbow. Kenma flinched, but Lev thankfully didn’t comment on his reaction. He simply kept up a stream of chatter all the way across campus to the bookstore, located in the campus common building. Kenma offered the occasional monosyllabic response to Lev’s rambling. He held the door for Kenma, not once pausing in his story about how he accidentally joined the boys’ volleyball team in high school because of his raging crush on the libero. The story was actually rather amusing. Lev seemed to be both fairly socially awkward and completely lacking a filter, yet completely confident in who he was. Kenma followed his roommate into the unsurprisingly crowded bookstore. They made their way straight to the back where the text rentals were. Kenma straight up ignored the supplementary texts section, telling himself he’d wait until his classes started to gauge how much he really needed them. Kenma and Lev split up to find their books, and Kenma was grateful for the reprieve from Lev's constant chatter until he realized that his English textbook is on the top shelf.
Even on his tiptoes, Kenma's fingers fell short of the spine and he flicked his hair in frustration. He was just about to climb the shelf when a long arm appeared out of nowhere. He turned to see an absolute wall of a human reaching above him, dimly noting the distinct lack of eyebrows. Wordlessly, The Wall handed him the book and walked away. Kenma’s own eyebrows shot up as he shifted the weight of the books in his arms. He shrugged it off, feeling a bit bad he didn’t even thank him, and grabbed his last book. After checking them out, the worker throwing a harried “these are due the last day of finals have a nice day” at him, Kenma waited for Lev off to the side. He was just about to go look at the art supplies when Lev appeared from out of nowhere, nearly giving him a heart attack (seriously, how does such an obnoxiously tall human move silently). Arms full, neither of them having had the foresight to bring their backpacks, they trudged back to their dorm.
With a sigh, Kenma dropped his books on his desk. His arms went numb about halfway back, and Kenma resolved never to forget his backpack again. He stared at his desk briefly, debating organizing it, before grabbing his 3DS and climbing up into his loft. He drew the fluffy blanket around himself as the loading screen to Marjora’s Mask came up. He waved off Lev when the other invited him to dinner, having had enough of people for the day. Lev shrugged and knocked on the door across the hall. Two voices enthusiastically agreed to the dinner invitation.
As Kenma played, his mind wandered to the next day. His classes started at 9 the next morning, and Kenma couldn't help but look forward to them. He’d always been good at school. School was his refuge from the hell that was his home life.
It was his first year English teacher who first noticed how he always had dark bags under his eyes, how he flinched at loud noises, how he never brought lunch. She was the one who started bringing energy bars for him every day, who let him sleep in the back of class as long as he kept his grades up. And Kenma did. English was his best subject, and she let him get away with a lot she probably shouldn’t have. She gave him his first English novel at the end of that school year. Labyrinth became his comfort in the dark nights that summer, and he often found himself wishing the Goblin King would come and take him away, too. Not only did his English improve immensely that summer, but he found a solace in books he’d never thought to read before.
Throughout the next two years, copies of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and The Secret Garden also found their way into his backpack. And when his teacher learned he couldn’t afford his college entrance exams, she was the one who pulled up in front of his house at 7 am on a Saturday and whisked him away to take the exam. The beating he got when he got home was worth it when he walked into class one day and an envelope was sitting on his desk.
At the end of his graduation ceremony, he sought out the teacher who had done so much for him, a painting of her teaching a class in his hands as the only thanks he knew how to give. She handed him his backpack (which was conspicuously heavier than normal) with a fond smile. And Kenma, who hated so much to be touched, didn’t shy away when she put her hand on his shoulder and told him firmly that he was going to go on to great things.
Kenma was jolted out of his memories by the door banging open. He bolted up with a gasp, memories of his parents flashing through his mind before Lev winced, apologizing as he closed the door behind him much more gently. Kenma curled back up, resuming his game and trying to calm his racing heart. Lev moved over to his desk and grabbed his laptop. They passed the night in silence, Lev seeming to have finally run out of chatter and Kenma overwhelmed by everything new. He felt anxious as hell for what the next few years would bring, but he wasn’t afraid.
He had made it here, to college.
He never had to go back to his parents’ house.
For the first time in a long time, Kenma fell asleep without fear.
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The peace was shattered by an alarm blaring. He heard Lev swear and hurriedly shut it off, but it was too late. Kenma was now wide awake at 7:15 am. He supposed it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and he felt remarkably well rested for once. He sat up and stared at the wall for a few minutes before convincing himself to leave his warm bed. Lev, it seemed, was a morning person. Kenma frowned. He never understood how people could just roll out of bed and be awake. By the time Kenma dragged himself down from his loft, Lev was coming back from the shower. He nodded in response to Lev’s enthusiastic “good morning, roomie!” and stumbled to the shower. When he got back, he was somewhat surprised to see Lev waiting for him. He assumed Lev had an 8 am class given how early his alarm went off. He hesitated in putting his shower things away when Lev invited him to get breakfast. Kenma debated for a minute before nodding. He did feel a little bad for blowing Lev off at dinner yesterday, and his stomach growled at the thought of food.
He glanced over his schedule, grabbing the books he would need. He threw his pencil bag in, grabbed his 3DS and put his shoes on. They were honestly a bit scruffy, having gotten them at a thrift shop, but the scruffiness just added to their “vibe.” At least, that’s what the closest thing he had to a friend in high school had said. Kenma didn’t care too much for fashion or “vibes,” (not having money for clothes will do that to a guy), but Lev complimented his “effortlessly cool” vibe with his faded black jeans, obscure band t-shirt, and Converse. Lev’s vibe was more like something out of a prep school, but it worked for him. Kenma didn’t say that out loud, though. He didn’t mean it as an insult, but he didn’t know Lev well enough to know if he’d be offended. He followed Lev to the dining hall, copying him when he stored his backpack in a cubby and swiped his meal card.
When Lev opened the door, they were hit with a wave of smells and noise. The semester had officially begun, and the campus was swarming with students. Kenma winced, already regretting coming here. He brightened though when he saw a basket of apples in the line, grabbing one for later. He merely shrugged when Lev asked him what he wanted to eat, agreeing with Lev when he said (shouted) that cereal sounded good. Kenma made sure to grab a cup of coffee from the machine as they passed. Lev looked a little scared when he saw that Kenma drank his coffee black.
“As dark and bitter as my soul,” Kenma muttered. Lev laughed, and didn’t seem to realize Kenma was only half joking. He chattered away, Kenma nodding when it seemed appropriate, only half listening.
“I have algebra this morning.” Lev moaned. “How unlucky do I have to be to get math as my first ever college class?”
Kenma made a (he thinks) vaguely sympathetic noise.
“What class do you have?” Lev asked. He got the feeling Lev was asking out of more than general politeness. Something in the way he watched his responses made Kenma think he might genuinely want to know.
“Um, intro to graphic design. I think it’s more about the programs we’ll be using a lot in the major.”
Lev’s eyes widened comically. They were a nice shade of green, like grass. Calming.
“Dude! That is such a badass first class! Maybe if I actually picked a major I’d have a better class, too.” Lev trailed off.
“You shouldn’t rush. Isn’t it better to start a major you enjoy later than have to change?”
Lev perked up. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Anyways,” Kenma swallowed, averting his eyes from the thousand-watt smile Lev sent him. “We should get going. It’s past 8:30.”
Lev pressed Kenma for information about graphic design all the way to the fine arts building. With a sigh of relief and a promise to meet Lev for dinner, Kenma waved goodbye and entered the 3-story building. His class was at the back of the building, in a computer lab with no windows. Kenma chose to sit at the very last computer at the end of the last row, as far away from other people as possible. It was a 2 and a half-hour long class, and he just wanted to put his head down and do his work while drawing as little attention to himself as possible.
Luckily, the professor seemed more worried about explaining the syllabus than he did about participation. The class would meet twice a week. Mondays were lectures/demonstrations and Wednesdays were work days, with small projects due every Friday. Kenma paid close attention to the overview of each program. He had very little (re: no) experience with any of the programs they’ll be using or with a Mac. A small tingle of excitement went through him at the thought of all the programs he’d learn to use. The class was over before he knew it. His other classes weren’t as interesting, and Kenma found himself drawing in his notebooks instead of taking notes.
At 5 pm exactly, he found Lev waiting for him in front of the dining hall. They repeated the same steps from the morning, Lev putting his backpack in a cubby above Kenma’s head and laughing at the look Kenma sent him. Kenma was once again overwhelmed by the smells and sounds of the large dining hall. They decided to go through the main line, serving themselves tonkatsu, curry, and rice. Kenma was grateful at the moment for Lev’s height. The ridiculous height and silver hair stood out like a beacon, making following him through the crowd rather easy.
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Kenma slid into an empty seat at the back of his English lit class. He was about 6 minutes early, so he pulled out his 3DS and tried to convince himself to not start a boss fight. Kenma liked English in general, and the professor seemed pretty chill. The class was right after his biology lab, so English Lit was like a breath of fresh air. Kenma didn’t exactly mind biology, but the biology prof decided to make their first official lab “fun” and made them dissect frogs. Kenma still felt like vomiting. He was jolted out of his thoughts by the redhead he was partnered with during the last class’s discussion sliding into the seat next to him.
He was breathing hard, almost like he ran all the way to class. Which, considering it was barely 30 seconds before lecture started, he might have. The professor smiled at him with no small amount of amusement, which he returned sheepishly. He didn’t get a chance to talk to Kenma (thankfully) before the professor started the lecture. Kenma was able to lose himself in his favorite subject, barely even doodling due to the amount of notes he was taking. They’ve started The Great Gatsby as their first novel study, which Kenma found more interesting than he expected. It was hard to read, but provided a unique commentary on what life was like in America in the 1920s, something Kenma knew next to nothing about other than alcohol bad. Kenma preferred adventure or fantasy novels, honestly, but it wasn’t the worst book he could be reading. They were discussing chapter 3 today, and Kenma took careful notes in preparation for the paper they’d have to write at the end of the novel. He caught the ginger trying to subtly look at his notes throughout class. After the fourth time, Kenma sighed and angled his notebook slightly towards him. He didn’t see the way the guy’s whole face lit up, but he did hear his whispered thanks. Kenma let him copy off of his notes for the rest of the lecture. As soon as they received their discussion questions from the professor, the guy turned to him with a brilliant smile.
“Dude! Thank you so much for sharing your notes! You’re so good at that! I’m so bad at taking notes. I’m even worse in English! And the class moves so fast!” The guy deflated for a bit, then he perked right back up. “Oh right! I’m Hinata Shoyo. I don’t think I introduced myself last time. I’m so sorry! I don’t remember your name…” The guy-Hinata-rubbed the back of his neck ruefully.
“Oh, um… I’m Kozume, uh, Kenma.” Hinata’s energy was daunting. How was this guy even real? Kenma glanced up to find the human embodiment of an energy drink beaming at him.
“It’s nice to meet you, Kozume-san! What year are you? I’m a freshman!”
“It’s a freshman course; we’re all freshmen.” Kenma pointed out quietly. “And um, you can just call me Kenma. I don’t really care for honorifics that much…”
Kenma didn’t think it was possible, but Hinata’s beaming smile got even bigger. “Then I insist you call me Shoyo! Or Sho, that’s what my friends call me! We’re friends now, right?”
Kenma blinked. What was this guy, a kindergartener? He couldn’t possibly make friends that easily, right? But Hinata was still beaming at him, and Kenma belatedly realized he should respond. He settled for a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders, which seemed good enough for Mr. Sunshine.
“Yeah!” The guy cheered. “Awesome, Koz- Kenma! You’re like really really good at English! Is it your major?”
“No, um, I just like it. The subject, I mean. I mean, I am minoring in business English, but my major is graphic design.” Kenma was getting tired just talking to Hinata. There was a nearly visible undercurrent of energy radiating from Hinata at all times.
“That is so cool! I’m a special education major. I want to work with high school students!”
“Oh. That’s, um, that’s actually really cool.”
“Thanks! I’m super excited. I had a really awesome teacher in high school who helped me realize I learn differently, and then studying became so much easier! I had an amazing friend who tutored me a lot too. I wanna learn how to help kids like me, just like them!” Hinata’s eyes were shining earnestly.
Kenma was reminded of his high school English teacher, and he found himself mumbling, “Yeah, I had a teacher like that too.”
Hinata glowed. “See! Teachers are the best! I’m gonna be an amazing teacher, and I’m gonna be an amazing volleyball coach someday too! Baka-yama says-”
Whatever Baka-yama says got cut off with a sharp glare from their professor. Hinata shrunk in his seat and Kenma softly apologized. They returned their attention back to the discussion questions, finishing quickly. Kenma wrote their answers down and turned the paper in. The two, being dismissed by the professor, then packed their bags and left the classroom.
“Say, Kenma. Do you have any classes left today?” Kenma shook his head.
“Great! Me neither! It’s almost 5. Do you wanna get dinner?”
Kenma hesitated. “Um, I’m meeting my roommate. He probably won’t mind if you join, though…” How does one invite someone to dinner? What if Hinata didn’t want to hang out with Lev? What if they didn’t get along? What if– His train of thought was abruptly derailed by Hinata enthusiastically agreeing. Huh. That was easy. They walked together to the dining hall. On the way, Hinata commented that his own roommate was thinking of dropping out already.
“I’ll be so lonely if he does! I mean, we aren’t super best friends or anything, but part of going to college is having roommates! I don’t want to live alone!”
“Hinata-san-”
“Shoyo!”
“Right, um, Shoyo. I think you might be the only college student who’s upset about having a single room.”
“I know, right! But still. I wonder if I’ll get a new roommate if he drops out. You know, I feel super bad, but I don’t even remember the guy’s name. He’s never around, so half the time it feels like I have my own room anyways. But his stuff is there. It’s the presence that counts!” Kenma was pretty sure Hinata said that all in one breath.
He made some sort of noise of agreement as they approached the dining hall. They saw Lev standing in his usual spot waiting (he wasn’t exactly hard to spot). Lev’s eyes widened comically when he saw his super shy introverted roommate walking with someone. Kenma was mentally practicing introductions when Lev shouted, “Shoyo!” at the same time Hinata shouted “Lev!”
Apparently, they already knew each other. Well, at least Kenma didn’t have to make introductions now.
Hinata jumped into Lev’s arms (wow, that’s high…) and they immediately started talking over each other. Lev eventually put Hinata down, and they turned to Kenma with matching grins.
“Kenma!” Hinata shouted. “Lev and I played volleyball against each other in high school! My team totally beat his team several times!”
Lev made a face. “Yeah, well, you guys had to do way more penalty laps in training camps!”
Hinata brushed him off. “That doesn’t matter, you lucky tall bastard. We still beat you!”
Although Kenma agreed with that tall sentiment, he interrupted them before they could keep going. He had a feeling they’d be here all night, otherwise. “Um, Hin-Shoyo is in my English class. It’s right before dinner. Is it okay if…” he trailed off, but Lev seemed to know what he was asking anyways.
He very enthusiastically agreed Hinata should absolutely join them for dinner all the time now, and maybe even breakfast too! Unfortunately, they all had classes over the lunch hour, something which was causing Hinata great distress.
“How am I supposed to focus with an empty stomach?” He whined as they entered the dining hall. They crammed their backpacks into cubbies near each other, Hinata bouncing ahead.
Lev leaned over to Kenma and whispered that while they were at training camps, Hinata’s appetite was insatiable. “Looks like it hasn’t changed much!” He laughed.
Kenma just sighed. Looks like there were two hyperactive puppies to deal with now. He followed them into the dining hall. The sounds and smells didn’t overwhelm him as much by now, but he still stuck close to Lev. Kenma was vaguely amused when he noticed Hinata doing the same. As they ate, Kenma realized he shouldn’t have worried about Lev and Hinata getting along. Even if they weren’t friends from high school, he had a feeling they’d get along anyways. They matched each other’s energy. Kenma was content to sit back and listen to their conversation, suddenly realizing that he didn’t feel lonely anymore. Maybe having friends isn’t such a bad thing. He’d never really had actual friends. It was easier to keep people at a distance. After all, he couldn’t be rejected if he was the one doing the rejecting, right?
But now, he caught himself thinking that maybe being friends with these two wouldn’t be so bad.
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“I hate English!” Hinata slammed his book shut, running his hands impatiently through his hair. Kenma leaned over from his desk. Hinata was sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by every book they’ve read in English Lit so far. The study guide their professor gave them was only half filled out.
It was the week before midterms, and they were studying together in Lev and Kenma’s room. Hinata never did get another roommate after his dropped out, so he spent most evenings in Lev and Kenma’s room. Lev leaned over from his own desk, where he was “studying” algebra. They both looked at each other and nodded solemnly.
“Study break?”
“Study break.”
Hinata jumped up. “Great! Let’s go eat. I’m starving!”
“When are you not?” Kenma mumbled. He grabbed his phone off of his bed (now made up with black and orange sheets, courtesy of Hinata. When he saw Kenma didn’t have sheets on his bed, he came back from a weekend home with a new set. It was the same as the ones on his own bed, and Hinata had handed Lev a set, too. “Now that we’re best friends, we have to match!” he had insisted, Lev agreeing far too enthusiastically for a 19 year old college student).
They headed to the virtually deserted dining hall (It was 3 pm, honestly. Who eats dinner at 3 pm? College students who have lost all sense of the meaning of time, that’s who) and filled up. As they talked about their various upcoming midterms and ways to avoid studying while still passing, Kenma mentioned he had to go to the library to get a book for his world history paper after lunch (dinner? Lunch-dinner? Lunner??).
Hinata made a face at the thought of the library, which made Kenma smile a bit. He tuned out Lev’s snide comment about Hinata not knowing how a library works and the ensuing argument. He was able to smile more easily around these two idiots than anyone else he could remember. Somehow, they had become his best friends, and they’ve made college a very fun experience so far. He’s told them bits and pieces of his home life, mostly during late night let’s-talk-about-anything-else-to-avoid-studying conversations, and they made sure he knew he was welcome at both of their homes at any time. He has yet to take them up on the offers, but he was grateful nonetheless.
Kenma jolted out of his reverie at the sound of Hinata’s indignant squawk. Lev was about to provoke him further when Kenma sighed and shook his head. “You two are exhausting,” he mumbled.
They switched immediately from antagonizing each other to sporting matching grins at Kenma. “You looooooooooove us!” They sing-songed in perfect unison.
Kenma just looked at them for a second and deadpanned, “I’m going to the library.”
Ignoring the protests coming from Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, Kenma slipped out of the booth. He rather liked the college library. It spanned 8 floors, with plenty of study spaces on each floor and a surprisingly nice basement area. It usually wasn’t too hard to find a quiet corner, and Kenma liked to study there in between classes (or when he needed a break from his friends. He enjoyed them, but they were not the greatest (nor the quietest) at studying). He found the book he needed relatively quickly, having long since familiarized himself with how the library worked.
He was browsing the fiction section when he experienced a tingling sensation in his chest for the first time in his life. And just like his friends had described, the name inked onto his inner wrist began burning faintly. Kenma actually dropped the book he was holding, looking around, but nobody seemed to be acting out of the ordinary. He breathed a small sigh of relief. He hurriedly checked out the book he needed for his paper and booked it back to his dorm.
But in his hurry, he didn’t see the frantic look on a usually-calm face as a tall man burst through the doors leading from the staircase. The man looked wildly around the library’s first floor, rubbing his chest as the warm feeling dissipated, leaving an aching echo of disappointment in its wake.
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All hopes of studying forgotten, Akaashi Keiji trudged back up the stairs to his second floor study space. He packed up his stuff mechanically as a heavy weight settled onto his chest. The tingling sensation was so faint at first, he had barely noticed it. He cursed quietly as he realized he had probably missed finding his final soulmate by mere seconds. He debated on the way back to the apartment he shared with his soulmates (well, most of them) as to whether he should tell them about his almost-encounter. After a while, Akaashi decided that yes, he will tell them. Even though he knew it would crush them, they’ve never kept secrets from each other, and he was not about to start keeping one now, especially one like this. He entered their apartment with a small sigh, his appearance startling the two on the couch.
“Agaaashiiiiii~” His gray-haired soulmate jumped up from the couch and wrapped him in a hug. He leaned into it, halfheartedly protesting that he was only gone for like an hour. “I don’t care! I missed you!”
“Hi, Koutaro. And Tetsurou,” Akaashi sighed, glancing at his other soulmate, who was looking at him expectantly. He toed off his shoes and put his bag neatly by the door. He knew he wouldn't be studying any more tonight. Straightening back up, he looked at his soulmates and said, “Actually, I came back early because I have something to tell you both.” Kuroo and Bokuto looked at him curiously, but resumed their position on the couch.
Akaashi sat in the armchair across from them. “I’m not sure how to say this…”
Bokuto felt his heart drop a bit. It wasn’t often that they saw Keiji unsure of himself like this. He was reminded painfully of the shy kid Keiji used to be, back in high school when they first met. He moved to comfort him when he was stopped by Keiji’s raised hand, their signal to wait and give Akaashi a moment to gather his thoughts.
“I think I nearly found our final soulmate today, at the library.”
Bokuto jumped off the couch in excitement. “Akaaaa- wait, nearly?”
Akaashi nodded. “It was very faint, but I felt a tingling in my chest, and the final name began burning. I looked all over, but by the time I thought to go down to the first floor, there was no one there that called out to me. The feeling just… disappeared.”
Bokuto sat back down heavily.
Kuroo got up, running his hands through his already messy hair. Akaashi and Bokuto sat in silence for a few moments before they jumped in surprise. Kuroo had slammed his fist into the wall. “Damn it! So close…”
Akaashi’s heart broke a little at the longing in his voice. “Tetsurou…” Akaashi said softly. He got up, moving to the taller male and wrapping his arms around his waist.
Kuroo turned into him, nosing Akaashi’s hair and breathing in. He let Akaashi’s spring rain perfume wash over him, calming him. Bokuto got up and joined them, and the three stayed like that for a while. Wrapped in their arms, Akaashi allowed himself to sigh. He couldn’t keep his mind from wandering back to their fourth and final soulmate. The three of them have known each other for over two years now, and settled so naturally into their relationship, it was like they’ve never been apart.
//
Bokuto and Akaashi had gone to the same high school. They found each other that very first day in volleyball practice, and had become best friends immediately. It was the most natural thing in the world to start dating once Akaashi turned 17 and his mark matched Bokuto’s. Neither of them were surprised by the other two names on their wrists. Bokuto had a lot of love to give, after all, and Akaashi was very open-minded.
Bokuto met Kuroo by chance towards the end of their first year in college, when they were at the gym. The gym at the athletic center was closed for renovation, and Bokuto found himself in the campus’s free gym for the first time. He had walked in and immediately felt a burning in his chest. They met in the middle of the weight room, Kuroo a sweaty mess from finishing an intense weight lifting set, and Bokuto a panting mess from running all around the gym (cardio wasn’t his thing, okay) trying to find where the pull was coming from. They were both disheveled and gross, and to each other they were the most beautiful thing they’d ever seen.
Workouts forgotten, Bokuto immediately called Akaashi and they met him at a coffee shop on campus. Akaashi was like a breath of fresh air, and he mesmerized Kuroo from the start. Akaashi in turn was intrigued by Kuroo, and was only slightly dismayed to realize he was every bit as loud and rambunctious and impulsive as Bokuto. Akaashi had smiled fondly at them over his coffee, and the three transitioned easily into a relationship. Kuroo fit in as though he’d always been there.
All of them were anxious to find their final piece who would complete the puzzle of their hearts. Akaashi knew Kuroo and Bokuto missed their soulmate, despite never meeting him. He often caught Kuroo tracing his fingers over his final name with a small smile on his face when he thought no one was looking, and once Akaashi walked in on Bokuto talking to his mark, promising to love Kenma with everything he has.
Akaashi too missed their fourth mate. One night while drunk, Akaashi admitted that since he and Bokuto had met in high school, he was secretly hoping the other two would have already found each other too so none of them were alone, and Kuroo had cried because it was a very sweet thing for him to say, and Akaashi normally didn’t say sentimental things out of the blue like that.
//
Bokuto’s voice brought Akaashi back to the present with a slight jolt. “Keiji… thank you.”
“Thank you? For what?” Akaashi tilted his head slightly.
“You’ve found out our soulmate is really here. On the same campus! And now that we know where he is, we can look extra hard! Kenma is here somewhere! And soon, Kenma will be with us. I know it!” He held up a fist.
Kuroo bumped it gently with his, echoing Bokuto’s “fighting!”
Keiji recognized the gesture from fancams of Bokuto’s favorite Kpop band and copied it with his own quiet “fighting.”
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Back on campus, Kenma somehow found his way back to his room. His eyes darted around everywhere, landing on nothing, and he dimly heard Shoyo point out that he was trembling. Eventually, Kenma became aware of Hinata cooing nonsense at him and Lev holding his hands. He found himself curled up in Lev’s papasan chair, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. He wanted to ask what happened, but his mouth had apparently forgotten how to mouth and he could only get out an inquisitive noise.
“You were scratching. Like, a lot. At your left wrist. So… hand cuddles!” Lev answered, not quite managing to hide his concern.
Kenma nodded, but he didn't pull away. The contact actually felt really nice. Kenma blew some hair out of his eyes and let himself drift back off, knowing his friends were there to watch over him.
~~~
“Ow! Fucking sh–”
Kenma jolted awake to the sound of Lev hitting his head on the doorframe, again. Kenma sat up in time to see Lev dump several cases of drinks they were definitely too young to buy in the middle of the floor.
“Kenma! You’re awake!” Lev shouted, scaring Hinata awake from where he was curled up in Lev’s desk chair. “Oops. Sorry, Sho. Anyways! You-” he pointed at Kenma, “had a panic attack. I looked up how to help people deal with them, and WikiHow says the person shouldn’t drink. Aaaaand since everyone knows WikiHow is a bunch of crackshit and you immediately do the opposite of whatever they say, we’re gonna get drunk!”
Kenma stared blankly at Lev. “That’s not how it works.”
“No no no! I'll show you! Here! We’ll make it fun! We’ll play a drinking game or something! WE-” he pointed between himself and Hinata, “-are going to cheer you up no matter what!”
“OOOOH! LET’S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!” Shoyo shouted.
An hour later, Kenma found himself in the middle of what was honestly a rather impressive blanket fort, squished between a sobbing Hinata and a Lev who wasn’t far behind in the whole crying thing.
“Honestly, guys. All I said was I hate my soulmates.” Kenma rolled his eyes, but stopped immediately when the action made the room spin.
“That’s so saaaaad!” Shoyo wailed. “I can’t ima- HICK -gine hating Bakeyamaaaaa.”
“Shoyo, didn’t you say you hated Kageyama when you first met him?” Lev pointed out.
“Well, yeah! But that’s only because he had a stick up his ass bigger than a tree! He’s better now!” Hinata defended his soulmate. He sat up and pointed at Lev accusingly. “We can’t all be himbos like you!”
Kenma snorted quietly. Lev gasped, affronted.
“Well! At least I had the balls to kiss my soulmate first! And anyways! This isn’t fair! We don’t know what Kenma is like! He’s never met hi-” His rant was cut off by Hinata smacking him in the face with a pillow.
“Dumbass!” Hinata hissed.
“Oops…”
Kenma sighed. “It’s okay. It’s true. I don’t know what I’ll be like when I meet them. And I hope I never do!” The sudden vehemence in his voice startled the other two.
Shoyo sat back down, leaning his head on Kenma’s shoulder. “You can tell us, you know. About why you hate your soulmates. We won’t think differently of you. We love you, remember?”
“I…” Kenma sighed again. “I just… hate… them. The idea of them. I hate the idea of soulmates. And I have three of them.” He laughed bitterly. Now that he started, he couldn’t stop. “My parents hated each other. And they were “soulmates.”” Kenma spat. “They… they were both in love with other people, before. They hated that everyone expected them to marry. Their families made them. Because they were ‘sOulMaTeS.’ They hated me, too. I complicated things, my mom said. Made it impossible for her to leave. I was a constant reminder of what she couldn’t have. Being soulmates doesn’t automatically mean you love someone. It caused my parents nothing but bitterness, so why should I expect anything different? And I have three?!” He laughed incredulously, humorlessly. “I’m… scared. Of them. Of meeting them, and of being rejected… and…” he trailed off with a vague wave of his hand, choking back a sob.
His friends had never seen this level of emotion in Kenma before. Lev and Hinata had a furious, silent conversation over Kenma’s head, which ended when Hinata tried to whack Lev and his drunk ass hit Kenma instead.
“Oh my GOD I’m sorry Ken! Here!” Hinata shoved Kenma’s hand towards himself. “Hit me back!”
Kenma nose-exhaled. “I have a better idea.” He grabbed another can.
Lev crowed, “Hell yeah!” as he followed suit.
“Last one to finish sleeps on the floor.” Kenma said, tipping the can back.
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Kenma sat up with a groan. Despite him winning (he’s pretty sure) the chugging contest, none of them actually made it into a bed. He tossed a pillow onto Hinata’s face and turned to find his roommate drooling on a combat boot. Kenma shuddered at the intrusive thoughts his mind helpfully supplied him at the visual and yanked the boot out from under Lev’s head.
Fifteen minutes later, they were using coffee and bacon as a hangover cure while they pieced together the rest of last night. Kenma noticed they were deliberately staying away from the topic of soulmates, to his gratitude, and focused instead on the fact that Kenma wanted to dye his hair, to his chagrin.
“I wasn’t actually serious, guys.” He mumbled.
“I’m totally serious! I meant it when I said I’d do it too!”
Hinata scoffed. “Yeah, right, Lev. Like you’d be bold enough to ruin your ~perfect silver hair.~~”
Lev immediately took the bait. “Okay, you know what, Hinata? Bet.”
They kept bickering about it over Kenma, whose head had dropped to the table. He wasn’t drunk enough to deal with their shit.
Narrator Voice: A Few Hours Later
The boys were crowded into one of the dorm’s showers, stripped down to their boxers and holding boxes of bleach and hair dye. Shoyo giggled fitfully. They were all at least two hard seltzers deep at this point. Shoyo had insisted Kenma needed the ~liquid courage~ and friends can’t possibly let friends daydrink alone, so here they were, tipsy in a communal shower stall in the middle of the day.
As Lev got busy bleaching Kenma’s hair, Shoyo fluttered around unhelpfully, having been unable to reach Lev’s head to apply his dye, and choosing instead to spend his time trying to convince Kenma to pierce his ears, too. Kenma sighed, but he didn’t actually say no. He missed the smirk Lev sent Hinata.
Kenma woke up the next morning on the floor of Hinata’s dorm with bleached blond tips about ¼ of the way down his hair. He groaned as he sat up, nearly waking a pink-haired Lev.
Kenma did a double take.
Yep, bubblegum pink.
Kenma stifled a laugh, turning to see Shoyo still sporting his fiery ginger hair. At least one of us made it out of the shower unscathed, he thought drily. Kenma fingered his own hair. It was a bit messy, Lev and Hinata having done it with their fingers, going for a “gradient” look. But Kenma found he kind of liked the final look. The slight variations made it look more natural. It made him stand out more, but Hinata’s logic that “the more you stand out, the less you’ll be noticed!” actually made some sense. After all, Hinata has gone through life with bright orange hair and done okay.
Someone stirred behind Kenma, and then Lev joined him in front of Hinata’s full-length mirror. The ensuing shout of surprise had Hinata shooting up into a standing position, looking like a caveman as he looked wildly around for the intruder. He spied Lev and dissolved into laughter. Kenma started to laugh too, partly at Lev’s hair and partly at Hinata doubled over snorting.
“Shut UP, Shoyo! It’s pink!” Lev wailed. “You said it would be a honey-mist auburn!”
Hinata could barely answer. “Well, honey, you missed auburn big time! I guess your natural color messed with the dye. I told you to bleach it first!”
“It’ll wash out soon,” Kenma offered, having fished the box out of the recycling “bin.” (really, an old box leftover from one of their first beer runs they hadn’t managed to throw away yet) “We got the semi-permanent dye. It doesn’t actually look that bad, Lev.”
The comfort from Kenma’s remark was somewhat lessened given he was laughing too, something a pouty Lev pointed out with a grumble.
The two eventually left for their own dorm room, promising to meet Shoyo in half an hour for breakfast. It was Saturday, and they could afford to take their time.
On the way, Kenma resolved to avoid the library at all costs, choosing to fight through Lev and Hinata’s bickering to study in his room for the rest of the semester.
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