Chapter Text
"Mister Mustang?" as Roy identified the voice at the other end of the phone call he held back a groan, pinched his nose and squeezed his eyes, taking a deep slow breath. Not fucking again!
"Yes Miss Daughtry, what can I do for you today?" he asked Ed's Maths and class teacher with the politest tone he could manage.
How often had he been called from her about Ed by now? Ten, fifteen times since Riza and him had the boys enrolled into this new school?
"We need you to pick Edward up," she said with that same tired voice she always used when she told him to pick him up.
"Is it really necessary? If he just talked back or threw a pen I could just talk to him and-"
"No, Mister Mustang, Edward is not feeling well. It would be the best if you could pick him up right away," Miss Daughtry said and worry shot through Roy like gunfire.
"Alright, sure I'll be right there," Roy said and ended the call. Without much overthinking he pulled on his military jacket, it wasn't ideal that he was in uniform right now, but they just had to deal with it.
If his kid was hurt there was nothing in the world that could make him hesitate for something unimportant like changing his clothes.
His team only looked up confused as he came rushed out of his office.
"The school called, it's Ed, he's not feeling well and they want me to pick him up!" Roy explained as he made his way over to Riza's desk.
"Is it his automail?" she asked, worry clear on her face.
"They didn't say, just that he is not feeling well."
"I'll join you!" Riza said, pulling on her own jacket but Roy gestured her to wait.
"No, I need you here if someone comes by, you're in charge until I'm back," he said and Riza only nodded slowly with an unsatisfied look in her eyes.
"You think you'll gonna be back?" she asked as Roy turned to leave.
"I don't think so, but let's see what happened this time!" were his last words before he left the office.
Roy's steel-cap boots clacked loudly on the floor and he felt rather overdressed as he walked down the halls of the school in his shining blue uniform. But the looks of the kids and the teacher couldn't bother him any less as he made his way quickly to the secretaries office.
"Where is Ed?" he opened the door with the question after not finding his blond stubborn kid seated in the office.
The secretary looked up to him and only gave him a tight lipped smile.
"Edward is with the school nurse, down the hall, the last room on the right!" she said and Roy left the office without another word.
Why was Ed with the school's nurse? he wondered, his steps faster now, worry clouding his sight.
Roy did not knock before he entered the room, relieve flooding his chest as he saw Ed laying on the stretcher in the tiny room, his non metal arm over his eyes.
He looked up at the noise and his golden eyes met Roy's in seconds.
"Roy? What are you doing here? Why are you all dressed up?" he asked with a judging look, his voice sounded far too thin for his standards.
"The school called me at work, saying you were not feeling well, what's going on?" Roy asked, walked over to his kid and sat next to him on the stretcher.
The school nurse was nowhere to be found and rage was building in his stomach as he thought of the fact that Ed seemed to be alone in here.
"It's nothing," Ed mumbled and avoided his look.
"I think you wouldn't be laying here if it was nothing!" Roy said with a chuckle, carefully removing the bangs out of Ed's eyes and sneaking the back of his hand on Ed's forehead. It was hotter than it should be. Shit!
He already knew this was bad, normally Ed would be snapping and grunting and arguing why he was here, why the school had called him and treated him like the kid he was. But now Ed was tired, drained and silent and Roy knew his could end badly pretty quickly.
Ed was only at thirteen a master in hiding his pain, not feeling entitled to complain. But when his mask eventually broke away, it showed all the raw immense pain and Roy always wondered how he could've hidden than before. How he hadn't seen before.
"It's really nothing, no reason for them to call you!" Ed mumbled again but his face betrayed him as Roy hovered his finger gently over Ed's automail shoulder and the kid flinched when he slightly tried pulling the shirt away to get a look.
"What's going on Ed?" Roy asked again, pulling his hands away now.
He wanted to pull Ed close and take all the pain away and suffer through it instead but he couldn't. He was doomed to watch his kid keep suffering and hope that someday Ed came asking them for help instead of trying to manage everything on his own.
"It's nothing! Fucking hell... just ... rain or something!" Ed mumbled, hiding his face under his non metal arm again.
"It's not raining kid, it won't rain for the next few days and you probably have a fever!" Roy said gently, edging himself more to Ed, trying to give him security.
Ed stayed silent, slightly shivering now and Roy nearly had pulled his shirt away by himself to look at Ed's automail port. Then the kid had opened his mouth, started to use his words but the creaking of the door shut him up again.
Roy angrily turned around, facing Ed's class teacher who looked down on Ed with a stony expression.
She was an old women, of old standards and methods and Roy had tried everything to get Ed into a different class but nothing had helped. Her hair was already grey, her black glasses spotless and her back as straight as his own when he saluted.
She did not liked Ed's hyperactivity or that he coulnd't follow rules very well, he hated sitting still and listening, his mind getting distracted very easily when he was bored. That he couldn't really do anything against it, since most of the time it was his adhd acting up was not an acceptable reason for Miss Daughtry.
"Mister Mustang, could I talk to you outside?" she asked with a bored tone, not even having an ounce of sympathy for Ed who was clearly in pain. Roy gently stroked over Ed's hair, careful not to mess up the braid and whispered that he would be back.
Roy closed the door behind him, crossing his arms in front of his chest while staring at Miss Daughtry. She was a tall women, nearly eye level with himself if he hadn't worn his military boots who gave him a few extra inches.
Miss Daughtry eyed his uniform from head to toe before she met his eyes and clicked her tongue.
"Is this outfit really fitting for a school Mister Mustang?" she asked and Roy had to hold back his temper.
"You called me over from work, I'm working for the military so you left me no other choice!" he said, controlled his tongue to not let any insults slip through his lips.
"Mh," she only hummed before gesturing to the closed door.
"Edward had started feeling sick during second period. He had asked to go to the bathroom several times in a row. At the end of the lesson he claimed he needed to see the school nurse," she explained to Roy, all with an unbelieving tone as if Ed was making a scene to get out of class.
Roy's red lights had already started blinking as she said he needed to go to the bathroom several times in a row. Roy just hoped that Ed didn't need to puke from the pain, that would mean it was already be at a point were they needed to think about a hospital visit.
"Alright, I'm taking him home now!" Roy said, he didn't wanted to have one more word with this teacher and Ed needed quick care now.
"Mister Mustang?" she called as he already had opened the door a crack and turned back to her with an impatient expression. "Later this day is a Math test the class is expected to take," she said with a hunch of disappointment in her voice.
"What are you implying?" Roy asked dangerously quiet, not sure if she would dare.
"I'm only pointing out that Ed has been having problems in Math and he could be using his .... current condition to get out of such things," she actually dared to say to his face and Roy let go of the door to built himself up in front of the old hack.
"His current condition?" Roy asked coldly and Miss Daughtry only nodded. "You mean his not current but permanent condition of missing two limbs? Having automail with thirteen and therefore a lifelong disability that caused him immense pain and probably will for the rest of his life?" Roy asked colder as ice while getting up in Miss Daughtry's face without really noticing it.
"Do you call being under-challenged now having problems in Maths? He's working on higher Mathematics during your class and you dare suggest he would try to get out of a test he could ace with both eyes closed?" Roy hissed angrily, having big trouble to not start screaming because he was so damn mad staring at her wrinkled face and disgusted expression.
"You call it under-challenged, I call it misbehaving! If you are so sure your son is a Genius, maybe try to teach him some manners. That shouldn't be so hard for someone who can do higher Mathematics!" if her tone would be a tad more arrogant or scolding, Roy probably had punched her in the face.
The desire to break her stupid glasses sat heavy in his stomach.
"You should be ashamed calling yourself a teacher!" Roy said after collecting his thoughts. This had been the nicest variant of the words he had in his mind and before the old women could say anything else he stepped away and turned around without hesitation, he was done with her!
Miss Daughtry did not seem to have any other words for him, as she silently stared holes into his back and Roy only huffed disbelieving.
"That was bad ass!" Ed chuckled as Roy came back into the room, finding Ed in the same position like before. "Can I insult her too now?"
"Don't tell Riza any of this! I shouldn't have said that but damn did it feel good!" Roy whispered as he took place next to Ed again.
"What? You scared?" Ed teased but fell into a cough fit.
"Of Riza? Alway. So, can you walk or do you want me to carry you?" Roy asked, making his tone sound as light as possible, knowing this was a sore point for Ed.
"I can walk!" he snapped and slowly set himself up, his automail arm hung by his side without movement as he slowly let his legs dangle over the edge of the stretcher and very slowly got down.
As soon as his metal foot touched the ground Ed was hissing and groaning but Roy tried to respect his wish, biting his tongue and only walking closely next to Ed. So they made their way out of the nurses room and Ed limbed heavily beside to him.
The kid was squeezing his eyes trying to hold back the groaning as he walked next to Roy but with every step the limb seemed to get even worse. The other kids were throwing them glances but Roy kept his eyes only on Ed. His automail arm still hung down on his side while he was clutching the upper arm with his other hand, as if to reduce the movement while walking.
They made it to the end of the hall before Roy couldn't take it anymore, he softly pulled Ed to a stop and quickly squadded in front of him.
"This isn't working!" Roy said gently, now on eye level with Ed who only glared at him, his golden eyes clouded from pain. He even stood with putting as minimal weight as possible on his automail leg.
"I don't see the problem!" Ed grumbled, looking stubbornly down on the floor.
"Come on Ed!" Roy only said, shuffling nearer to Ed who glared at Roy passionately.
"I'm not a fucking child anymore!" Ed sweared and huffed, trying to take a step back from Roy but only lost his balance and took a step with his automail leg to save himself. He hissed painfully and Roy's eye twitched.
"You are thirteen and you are in pain, there is nothing wrong with being carried!" Roy tried arguing but Ed blocked him up immediately.
"No, fuck no! I can walk just fine!" he said, trying to limb around Roy who only grabbed Ed's left shoulder softly holding him back.
"Edward! Please stop torturing yourself!" he said quietly because there were more teens around them now and he didn't want to make more of a scene. His uniform attracted their attention like light the moths. He saw how Ed looked around them, probably hating that they had such a big audience.
Ed never really talked about school, unlike Al who told them every bit about it, Ed kept everything to himself. He did talk, just not about serious stuff.
"I'm not torturing myself," Ed mumbled but looked to the ground again.
"Then what would you call it instead?"
"Walking?"
"You're in pain kid, let me help you!" Roy said as softly and gently as he could, staring into Ed's golden eyes as the kid looked around them again. The kids around had started whispering.
"They are all looking," Ed finally whispered shameful and Roy only moved closer to Ed.
"And they won't stop any time soon because I'm ... how do you call it these days? Cool as fuck? Yeet? When will they see a real Colonel ever again? And such a handsome one at that! I should start giving out autographs!"
"Oh my god, stop it already!" Ed groaned and Roy only grinned. "It's gonna be alright!" Roy said but he did not convince Ed one bit.
"They're all gonna talk!" Ed mumbled into himself.
"If they do I'm gonna yell at them! You saw me yell at Jean once, did you?" Roy asked and Ed only nodded, a tiny smile tugging on his lips. "I promise, it's gonna be alright. You're the toughest kid I know, they won't dare," Roy continued and Ed kept staring at the floor, clutching his automail arm.
"Come on now, let's go home!" Roy said after a break of silence and slowly but surely reached his arms around Ed's chest, since picking him up under his arms would only caused pain to his shoulder port. Ed squirmed and protested quietly but Roy had no trouble picking the kid up and setting him on his hip, before he adjusted his grip.
To everyone who send him a dirty look, Roy glared back at them with the murderous colonel look he managed and most of the kids made space for them immediately.
"Get better soon, Ed!" some black haired kid called from behind them and Roy felt how Ed weakly waved behind his back.
Carrying Ed had been the most normal thing after Riza and him had taken the boys in three years ago. Back then Ed didn't have his automail yet, the wheelchair was too unpractical for him and getting around on one crutch was possible but very much inconvenient.
So for the most time him or Riza had carried him. Well, most of the time Roy had carried him, because when Riza offered Ed always refused and chose the chair instead. His beautiful wife was smart enough to understand that it was probably something about his biological mother but Roy did not miss the little bits of hurt in her eyes every time Ed dismissed her.
Ed had been light before, with the two metal limbs he was heavier now but only so much as a normal thirteen year old should normally weight.
Ed buried his face in Roy's shoulder, something he hadn't done since the time after they had found the kids in that basement of their family house and Roy's worry increased as he wondered in how much pain Ed must be really in.
Hohenheim was behind bars for what he had done to his boys, one of them missing two limbs, the other one so starved that it nearly killed him. All for trying to bring his dead wife back. In those moments, when the pictures of the basement flooded Roy's mind, he only wanted to punch the blond bastard that called himself their father in the throat.
Ed started slightly shivering the longer Roy carried him and he felt how his non automail hand grabbed the fabric of his jacket tightly, as they passed more students and Roy whispered quiet in his ear that it was okay, that he was going to be okay soon.
As he had Ed pressed against his own body, he could feel his heated temperature even more and Roy fastened his steps.
Quickly he walked out of the school, getting Ed on the passenger seat of the car. Before he buckled him in, Roy got out of his jacket and draped it carefully around Ed's shoulders. With his none metal hand, Ed grabbed the jacket and pulled it tighter around himself and Roy quickly walked around the car and got himself behind the wheel.
"Hey Ed? What happened at school?" Roy asked as he maneuverer them through the traffic, Ed's silence was unsettling him.
"Nothing," Ed mumbled, while his eyes were set on the landscape that flew by his window. He still clutched Roy's jacket tight around himself.
"I don't believe you Ed," Roy said gently, glanced over to the passenger seat and Ed shivered again. It took a moment before he continued speaking, "Thought it was going to rain and thats why it hurt, but got only worse."
"Did it hurt the last days?" Roy asked, very puzzled over this certain pain outbreak. Normally they watched Ed's automail carefully since he had been quite sensitive for infection and all other problems that came with automail.
Ed was silent for a while and Roy glanced over to him again.
"Edward, did you were in pain the last days?" he asked again, this time with a bit more force behind his words. That had been a mistake, he could nearly watch how Ed pulled his walls back up, shrinking in on himself while snapping, "Why the fuck do you care?"
Roy sighed, knowing he had provoked a reaction like this. Eds knee jerk reaction to everything remotely forceful had always been kicking it away as hard as he could, with words or with fists.
So Roy picked his next words carefully, knowing he couldn't give in to his temper like most of the time were he just would snap back and get in their daily brawl. No, this time he needed to keep his cool and be the adult for once.
"Ed, you know I care about your wellbeing, Riza and I both do, I just need to know if this is going on for a longer time to understand were this is coming from," he explained slowly and only got a snort as answer.
"Kid I'm serious!" Roy said after a while of Ed not saying anything.
Out of the corner of his eyes he could see how Ed pulled at the blue military jacket and how hard he was clutching the fabric. It nearly looked like he wanted to vanish into it.
"Ed I'm not mad or anything, you're not in trouble. I just need to know, so I know how I can help you," Roy explained gently, hoping he could convince Ed to talk to him.
It was something they worked on for years, after Roy and Riza had taken the boys in, it had taken months until Roy was able to read Ed's tells. They had noticed pretty quickly that he had a ridiculous high pain tolerance. The most questions they had heard him ask right after they had rescued the two boys out of the basement, was if Al was okay. If his little brother was fine, if he was in pain, if he was getting better.
Alphonse had been a shadow of a boy, so thin Roy could count his rips. He was scared it would break Al's bones of he was gripping him to hard. Their father had forgotten about his second kid, while he had taken his first kids limbs for that ridiculous sacrifice to bring his wife back.
The scene had been so horrifying, Roy still had nightmares sometimes - waking up sweating and with the need to check on both boys immediately, telling himself they were safe now while Riza tried calming his uneven breathing with southing words.
It had been like the time after Ishval, when he would wake up screaming, the scent of burning corpses still clogging his nose. Riza had been there for most of these nights too, accompanied him outside and sat by his side silently while he smoked far too many cigarettes.
The nightmares were rare for him these days but thinking of the basement still drove a shiver down his spine. So he couldn't really imagine how it had been for the two boys, Ed still woke up screaming from his own nightmares.
Riza and him had organised an appointment with a therapist that worked with traumatised kids, roughly after half a year the boys moved in with them. The therapy had been a fight with Ed, like everything had been and still was. Al and Riza had tried to communicate between Ed's and Roy's screaming matches.
In the end, Ed had followed the therapist into the room, throwing glances to them that cut like newly sharpened blades. Weeks later Ed's therapist had told them smilingly that Ed had talked for the first time in their session.
Today Ed still didn't talk about his problems or when he needed help. It began to be a bigger problem, when his automail was giving him trouble and he wouldn't talk about it. Not talking had landed him in the hospital twice already and Ed had promised he would try the next time.
Roy saw him already packing Ed a bag and driving him to the hospital because he got another infection. He held back the sigh, knowing his attitude wouldn't make the situation better in any way.
"It started hurting a few days ago," Ed whispered now and Roy's eyebrows shot up into his forehead out of surprise. "I really thought it would be the rain, it wasn't swollen or anything," he continued quietly, his head turned away from Roy and out of the window.
"Alright, so it hurt. Is it swollen now?" Roy asked carefully, hoping he wouldn't scare Ed's attempt on sharing away.
Ed only shrugged his shoulders as Roy pulled the car into the garage of their house. He bit his tongue, remembering how Riza told him again and again that he shouldn't be mad at Ed for this. He probably never learned how to ask for help or had been punished for it by his bastard of a father.
So Roy only nodded to himself, got out of the car and walked around to Ed's side. He opened the door, squatted down to be on eye level with him. Since Roy had noticed how much more compliant Ed was when he wasn't talked at from above it had become a habit.
"I can get the chair if you want," Roy offered with a neutral tone, watching Ed's face for any of his tells. Ed gave him an unsure look and bit his cheek, as his automail leg started trembling and he grabbed his port. They waited until the tremble was nearly gone and Ed looked up again, eyes shimmering from unshed tears and Roys heart broke a little further.
"I'm gonna get it, sit tight for a moment," Roy whispered with a clocked up voice and a forced smile.
Ed had wanted the wheelchair out of the house and in the trash as soon as he had gotten around on his automail but Riza and Roy had refused to get rid of it, knowing he might need it in the future. So it sat in the corner of their supply closet, Ed had shoved it there himself with the argumentation that if they had to keep it, he didn't want to look at it from anywhere.
Before the boys had moved in with them, they had switched up their rooms so they would take one of the upstairs rooms so Ed and Al could have a downstairs ones.
Roy quickly got the wheelchair in position for Ed who sat down in it with an disapproving look on his face. Eyes clearer now, but his leg was still lightly trembling. Without another word Roy grabbed Ed's backpack and pushed him through the garage into the house.
Ed took his boots off himself, throwing them in the hall to the other ones, while Roy quickly got out of most of his uniform, rolling up the sleeves of his white button down and got rid of the gun harness under his shoulders. With a reassuring look to himself in the mirror, he got back to Ed.
"Ed?" he got the kids attention that currently tried manoeuvring the wheel chair with his hands but only hissed as he moved his automail arm. He looked up to Roy, his eyes showing a certain distance and Roy knew this would be tough.
"I would like to check your ports," he said as gently as he managed and Ed's eyes immediately went dark.
"It's fine," he mumbled, breaking the eye contact and looking down at his hands in his lap. His none metal hand grabbing the port of his leg again, probably to stop the trembling.
Roy bit his lip before he squatted down in front of Ed's wheelchair again. He had done this so many times in the last years, his knees and his back were starting to complain about it. "Ed you are in pain. I want to help you, to do that I need to have a look," he explained, keeping his hands by himself, knowing that contact in this situation could only make it worse.
"You only want to take them off," Ed mumbled, glaring at Roy now through his bangs.
"If I don't see a problem we don't have to take them off, but if there's a risk of them going to be infected again or your muscles and nerves being overworked we have to give it a break," Roy explained slowly and Ed only huffed.
Roy wouldn't start touching his automail if Ed wasn't comfortable with it. They had to do it once, because Ed was getting feverish and unconscious from the infection and the pain. The kid had not talked to them for a week after that.
"Roy come on, it's just the regular pain. No reason to be so annoying about it," Ed said, rage creeping slowly into his tone while his nerves were getting thinner and thinner.
"Miss Daughtry told me you had to go to the bathroom a few times in a row. Did the pain made you be sick?" Roy asked, paying attention that his tone wouldn't change while he said it and Ed's eyes went a tad wider.
"I-" Ed started as he panicked and started to get fidgety because there was nowhere for him to go. Roy quickly backed up a bit to not give him the feeling of being backed into a corner and gave him some space.
"You're not in trouble Ed! I promise, I'm not mad, nobody is. I just really need to know!" Rox repeated, keeping his tone and demeanour as calm as possible.
He kept his eyes on Ed's face, how the boy looked around the hall, his eyes not fixed on anything specific. How his chest unevenly pumped and how he became even more fidgety in the wheelchair. Shit Roy thought as it became clear that Ed was loosing himself in another panic attack.
Roy didn't know where this was coming from or what this was about but he needed to prevent it from getting worse.
"Hey Ed?" Roy asked, trying to catch his eyes but Ed was looking everywhere but him. "Edward! Look at me!" Roy repeated, keeping his tone calm, he couldn't panic too right now but Ed was not paying him any attention and only started breathing heavier, his none metal hand clutching on his chest as if he needed more air. "Edward!" Roy tried again getting the kid's attention so he could help him focus but Ed only started swallowing heavily, squeezing his eyes.
"I- I can't breath!" the kid mumbled between breaths. Without hesitating Roy got up from his squat, got behind the wheelchair and started pushing Ed.
"No! No! Wait, I-" Ed started, his hand reaching behind him to where Roy was pushing him but Roy only leaned down to Ed. "It's okay, we're just going outside to help you breath! Just outside!" Roy explained, not winching as Ed clawed the fingers of his metal hand in Roy's hand that was pushing the chair.
They made it outside quick and Roy let go of Ed's chair, telling him again and again to breath with him while Ed kept grabbing Roy's hand.
"Alright, you're okay! It's just me and you here! Deep breath in, yes very good," Roy whispered right next to Ed who took deep shaky breath of cold air. He hadn't noticed how the weather had turned and dark clouds spread over the sky and the wind was picking up.
Riza and him had checked the weather, like they always did to be prepared for eventual pain days. But nobody had said anything about rain this week but the weather was never really reliable at this time of year and Roy wondered if this outbreak really was just about the rain.
He tried hiding his shaking as good as he could while he kept breathing with Ed, waiting patiently until the grip Ed had on his hand finally reduced and he let go. Carefully Roy massaged his hand, red bruises already showed where Ed had clutched his metal fingers into his skin.
Neither of them said a word, while Ed's breathing started to slow down eventually. Only when Ed started shaking visibly too, Roy broke the silence.
"Let's head back inside," he suggested softly and Ed nodded defeated, letting himself be pushed from Roy without moving. Roy stopped in the kitchen and sat himself down at the table, rubbing his face hard before he looked at Ed again.
"I'm sorry," the kid whispered again hiding behind his blond bangs.
"What are you talking about?" Roy asked confused.
"I'm always making things difficult," Ed said quietly, his hands completely still in his lap and Roy furrowed his brows in confusion.
"Ed, you don't have to apologise for that! Never! It's not your fault!" Roy argued, meaning every word of it and he hoped the kid noticed.
He did seem to notice, most of the time the kid was too smart for his own good.
"I really thought it was the rain. It even looks like rain now," Ed whispered, making a fist with his hand and pressing it together. "I promised telling you next time and I really wanted to try," he continued and Roy stayed silent. Giving Ed the room to explain without judging him in any way. "But then it was kind of too late."
Roy waited if Ed wanted to add anything but the kid stayed stoically silent.
"Edward please look at me, this is important!" Roy said gently, leaning forward with his elbows propped up on his knees while Ed slowly looked at him with panic in his eyes again. "I am not mad." Roy said slowly so he would finally understand. "I could never be over something like this. I believe you that you wanted to try." Roy stated, a soft smile on his lips.
A tiny smile appeared on Ed's face and the panic vanished out of his face as he nodded slightly. "Okay," he answered. They had gone over this hundreds of times by now but Roy didn't mind telling him again and again if it meant that in the end his voice would shout louder than the one of Hohenheimer in the kid's head.
The voice of the bastard that told him that real boys don't complain, that real boys take it without saying a word, that real boys did everything for their fathers without question. This were only bits and pieces Ed had told him over the years and Roy had made it his mission to tear those words down, gather them on a pyre and set them all on fire.
"Can I take a look at your ports now?" Roy asked after a moment of silence. Ed still looked uncomfortable about the request but eventually nodded and started getting out of his red sweatshirt to show Roy is shoulder port.
"Is your arm worse than the leg?" Roy asked as he helped Ed with the clothes after he struggled for a few moments.
"It's pretty even," Ed answered and Roy hissed as he looked at the red and swollen skin all around the edges of his arm port. Carefully he felt the skin that connected with the metal and Ed hissed painfully. The reddened skin was hot too, but it looked more like overstrained muscles and nerves than an infection and a boulder was moving off Roy's heart.
"Alright, let me look at your leg too," he said, helping Ed stand up from the chair and onto one leg to pull down his pants.
The leg port didn't looked different. The skin was red and swollen and Ed hissed painfully as Roy just as much as brushed the skin. How the kid could've walked like this, without limbing Roy didn't knew. He was mad at himself for not noticing as he stared at the port.
"It's not your fault either," Ed whispered and Roy looked up to the kid confused. "I learned to hide pain since I can remember," Ed said quietly and Roy noticed how his face had morphed into an angry expression. He scolded it back to a gently smile before saying, "I really think it would be better if we take them off. It doesn't look like a infection to me, but the overstraining muscles and nerves would be quicker back to normal after a break."
Ed didn't looked very happy about this, but it seemed like he knew this would be the best way and after a moment he nodded. Roy silently wondered how his limbs could be this overworked. The installing of the port had been two years ago and Ed was still in automail recovery. He was in the last stage but there were still things he was not allowed to do and Roy wondered if Ed had broken those rules again.
It wouldn't be the first time but this was not the time to break that discussion off the fence so he dragged his thoughts back to the current situation.
"Where do you want to do this? Your room? Ours? Or Living room?" Roy asked, giving Ed choices hopefully made him not feel so hopeless and frustrated about all of this.
"Living room's fine, I don't wanna be alone," Ed admitted tiredly and Roy made a note for himself to get his work down from his office. The kid rarely voiced what he wanted so whenever he did it mostly was from a place of deep tiredness.
Roy pushed Ed to the living room and Ed slowly transitioned himself from the wheelchair to the sofa. Roy sat down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, searching for Ed's eyes before he started touching him.
"Leg or Arm first?" he asked the kid but Ed only shrugged his shoulder and Roy decided on the leg. With quick hands he moved away the plate that covered up the connection between the prosthetic and the nerves. "Ready?" he asked, looking up again.
He knew Ed didn't wanted a countdown, the anticipating of the pain was mostly worse than the pain itself and he had asked them both to stop it. Ed only squeezed his eyes together and nodded and Roy didn't waste any time before he disconnected the prosthetic from Ed's nerves, pulled a few latches that disconnected the leg from the port and placed in on the coffee table behind him.
There was a sigh leaving Ed as the weight was taken off his port and Roy was always surprised at how heavy the leg or the arm was and how much additional weight Ed had to carry.
Roy moved to Ed's shoulder and undid the same plate to get to the connection.
"Ready?" he asked, before he touched the wires.
"Let's get this over with!" Ed said between gritted teeth and Roy as gently as possible grabbed the wires and disconnected the arm too, undoing the same latches and pulled the arm from the port. Ed grunted hard and let himself fall back into the cushions of the sofa.
Roy put the arm next to the leg, not much out of Ed's reach, knowing the kid would get anxious if he would take them out of his eyesight.
Seeing Ed without his prosthetics was always weird. Since his father had taken his right arm and left leg, it looked disproportionate and left Ed with nearly any ways to get around without help.
He had leaned to do things with his left hand but that only counted mostly for the basics. There was only so much you could do with one hand.
"Let me get you some things," Roy said and quickly gathered everything Ed might need. A T-Shirt and another red hoodie from his room, along with some shorts were no additional pant leg was bothering him. He grabbed some ice packs for his ports and pain killers, along with some stacks of paper work from his office he had to finish.
Ed still had his eyes closed and did not move an inch as Roy helped him into the fresh clothes, pealing the wet clothes from his sweaty skin and handed him the ice packs he placed on his ports.
Roy offered Ed the pain killers, leaving it to him to take them if he wanted but like alway, Ed only rejected them with a glance. With a nod Roy placed the pills in Ed sight on the coffee table, if he would change his mind. Lastly he draped a blanket over Ed, despite his fever he was shivering again and pulled the blanket tightly around him.
Roy sat down one of the other sofas and Ed gave him a look but didn't said anything. A glance onto his paperwork and a few blurred letters later, Roy noticed that he had forgotten his reading glasses upstairs and got up with a sigh again.
"Roy?" Ed asked already half asleep as he left the living room but turned around immediately by Ed's tone. "Where are you going?" the kid asked quietly, a shimmer of panic in his eyes and Roy's look became soft immediately.
"I just forgot my glasses, I will be right back!" Roy promised and after a tiny nod from Ed Roy hurried up to his office. In his rush he changed into more comfortable clothes, since he didn't wanted to leave Ed alone for too long when he was attached like this today.
Ed's eyes catched Roy quickly as he was back and sat down on the sofa, starting on his dreaded paper work. When he looked up, Ed was already asleep.
Roy had been so invested in the report he was currently reading, that he only noticed Ed's uneasiness as a grunt came form the boy. He looked over to the kid who's face was twisted in pain, he almost looked scared as he started mumbling to himself with his two limbs tangled into the blanket.
Roy's inner alarm started to go off again, knowing Ed's nightmares when he saw one. Quickly he got up from the sofa, headed over to Ed and sat down while pulling Ed's head into his lap.
"No, no leave Al alone! ... please stop.... it hurts .... stop! Stop!," Ed mumbled, starting to trash around now in his sleep, his eyes already wet from the dream and Roy gently removed the strains of hair out of Ed's face.
"It's alright," Roy hummed quietly, not trying to wake Ed violently and risk another panic attack. The kid couldn't even get a portion of sleep in peace.
"It hurts... hurts.... just stop! Please! No! I beg you-"
"You're alright, he's gone. He's far far gone and nobody will lay a hand on you ever again!" Roy hummed, while stroking Ed's blond hair carefully. Carefully Roy pulled out the braid of hair Ed had laid on, opening it slowly and with gently fingers, mumbling soothing words to hopefully pull him out of the nightmare.
Ed's blond hair was soft between his rough hands as he pulled the braided hair apart. The strains started to get longer the more Roy unbraided the hair and carefully draped the hair around Ed's head.
"You're fine, you're home with us, with me and Riza and Al. Nobody is hurting you anymore. You only overworked yourself. There is nobody hurting Al. He's still in school. Riza is going to pick him up later..." Roy continued mumbling things to him, explaining their lives.
As the braid was completely gone and Ed's hair was spread over Roy's lap, he started gently twisted the hair between his fingers, as he watched how Ed started to settle down. "You're good, it's alright! You're safe now!" Roy kept going.
Suddenly golden eye's were blinking up at him and Ed stared up to Roy with pain written all over his face.
"Hey, you had a nightmare but we're home now," Roy explained softly, continuing to stroke through Ed's hair.
"ts hurtin'" Ed mumbled and Roy moved slowly as he picked up the pain meds from the coffee table.
"They gonna make the pain go away," Roy promised, offering the pills to Ed again and this time he didn't think twice before taking them from Roy's hand and swallowing them dry.
He wished time could heal his two boys from things like this. From nightmares and panic attacks and their strong codependency. But he knew Ed would have pain days like this probably for his whole life and Al would struggle with his eating for probably his whole life.
Riza always told him they could only help as much as possible, but some things wouldn't vanish even if they poured their hearts and souls into the boys.
Thoughtless Roy kept stroking Ed's hair, until the boy settled down again not moving from his lap and falling back asleep. His pain-ridden face smoothed out slowly as the painkillers worked their effect. With Ed still curled up on his lap, his hair between Roy's fingers and Ed's one hand weakly but firmly grabbed the fabric of Roy's shirt.
Roy only carefully bend down and breathed a kiss on his hair before he grabbed his paper work again that he had discharged on the coffee table and got back to his reports, his one hand tangled in Ed's hair.
Maybe he couldn't take away days like this, but he could make them easier to bear, make him feel he wasn't alone with this. That there was someone who didn't mind, someone who stayed no matter the time or place.