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Yuuji is a good son. He’d like to think so. His father praised him and his mother doted on him, his grandfather always a hardass but always showed his appreciation through rough words or hair ruffles.
When his father left with his mother heavily pregnant, Yuuji noticed that his mother stared at nothing most of the time, distant gazes and perhaps empty dark eyes. She still held that stiff smile, Yuuji thought his mother was trying not to show any signs of sadness, but from his thinking, his believed his mother to be depressed, after all, everyone grieves differently. Yuuji witnessed first-hand when his grandfather was heartbroken, to hear that his son up and left, not long after that Jin Itadori overdosed on painkillers.
Yuuji remembers briefly that his dad had been having migraines.
His grandfather’s health declined from there, so most of the time, his grandfather was holed up in his room or perhaps pushing through his emotions to care for Yuuji while his mother would stare out the window, almost waiting for something or someone. Yuuji is a good son, at age thirteen, he pushed aside his rage and grief directed towards his father and knelt at his mother’s knees, his hand’s around her waist and cheek pressed against her swollen belly, his little sister was due any time and Yuuji needs to be there, for his little sister. Rather than petting her stomach protectively, Kaori Itadori moved her hands and caressed her son’s hair.
“ My one and only, my beloved .” Yuuji’s mother would say, hushed and like a prayer, Yuuji would hug his mother tighter.
He’ll protect his sister, he’ll be there for Anya. Yuuji promises that he won’t leave Anya alone, that he won’t be like Jin Itadori.
Yuuji is a good son, and above all, the best grandson. Recently, his grandfather had pushed his lingering feelings and guided Yuuji, teaching him how to cook, how to be the man of the house, what to do when his mother’s water breaks, how to pay bills and above all, how to get the best deals at the supermarket. Walking home from school, he used the money his mother would give him to buy whatever he wanted. Yuuji took this opportunity to buy baby diapers and all that baby stuff his friends and classmates had informed him about. He is so excited to see his baby sister! He wonders what she will look like? His friends say that most babies are born ugly and gross looking, an alien they said. Despite that, Yuuji will still love her and care fr her, protect her and be by her side.
He wonders if she will have dark hair like his mother or share the same pink hair that he has. What will her eyes be? Dark like his mother’s or light like his own honey-colored eyes? No matter, she will be the best little sister and he will be the best big brother.
When Kaori Itadori was admitted to the hospital, it was because of the pleads of Yuuji and his worries, nine months and Anya is due any day now, when his mother gripped the cahir so tight, the splinters and wood almost crushed underneath her grip and Yuuji pleaded for his unmoving mother to go to the hospital. She lays on the hospital bed, staring at the window, her pale skin and the faint stitches across her head shine underneath the white light of the hospital room. Yuuji had stayed by his mother’s side, holding her hand and talking her ear off about his hopes and excited about the day his baby sister would pop out.
Despite his mother’s depressive episode through her entire term, she always reciprocated Yuuji’s words and always held him dearly. Though, not once has Yuuji seen his own mother caress her belly, not cradling it like she has done when she holds Yuuji. He thinks it could be a side effect of Jin leaving, but no matter, Yuuji will make up for his absent father, he will be the brother and the parent if he has too, for Anya, after all, she deserves the best and Yuuji is a good son.
Hours later, visitation hours have come to an end, Yuuji bidding his mother a farewell and he leans down to kiss his mother’s tummy, a kick against his lips as he chuckles. His baby sister is going to be strong, just like him, she’ll throw strong punches.
“I can’t wait to see you too, Anya.”
Arriving at his home, he notices his grandfather must have retired to his room, the medication that he was recently prescribed is causing him to be more fatigued. Dropping his backpack by the living room couch, he’s exhausted. He sat on the couch and decided to turn on the TV. The TV was nothing but background noise, his thoughts were the same questions that hung over his head, almost like an insecurity or fear that started to creep and bite down, it multiplied when his father left.
Will Anya love him?
Will he be a good brother people say that he’ll be?
He has such unusual strength, he’s so scared that he will harm her, or worse, crush her or drop her.
Will his mother’s demeanor change once Anya is born? Will she return to how she was?
Will he be able to fill in his father’s shoes?
All these questions to a situation bound to come the next day. He’s sleepy. All these anxieties were too much, but grandpa would always knock some sense into him, literally, he’ll knock his head upside down.
The next day, after school, Yuuji headed straight to the hospital with his grandfather. The nurse has escorted them to the room where his mother was staring at the ceiling, drenched in sweat and her eyes more sunken and darker than it already is. The nurse had to administer painkillers for her, so she needs to rest in the meantime.
His grandpa, Wasuke Itadori carries the little bundle of blankets into his arms, Yuuji has never seen such a look on his stone-faced grandpa. Rather than his pinched wrinkles, his expression was relaxed and his eyes that were filled with clouded disinterest or fatigue, his eyes were smiling as he rocked the newborn infant.
“Yuuji,” His grandfather calls to him, his voice quiet rather than his usual loud and annoyed tone, he beckons his grandson to shuffle closer. “Hold out your hands like I’ve taught you,” Yuuji complies right away, “Don’t worry about your strength.” Wasuke reminds his nervous grandson. Carefully shifitng the infant onto his grandson’s arms, Yuuji swallowed all the anxieties that were shoveled into his mind to only be dug out and thrown out.
She was so light. She weighed like nothing and she…
Anya was so cute.
Her skin was like his mother’s, her complexion was several lighter than his and rather than the faint freckles that adorned his face, she was like a cabbage patch doll, smooth and unfreckled skin.
“Oh.”
Is all he can say. Unbeknownst to him, being starstruck and staring with such wide wide adoration and love, his grandfather guided his grandson to sit down.
His baby sister smacked her lips, little arms fighting to get out of the swaddle blanket.
“She’s an Itadori all right, a fighter this one will be, stubborn, like you.” His grandpa huffed out, a smile decorated his face when Anya popped her arm out, tiny, chubby fingers reaching out.
Holding her preciously, his hand poked out a finger, and Anya, who was searching for something, someone, found her brother’s finger that was much bigger than her newborn hand, her tiny hand can only hold index finger, holding tightly and Yuuji feels his heart leap when she cracks her tired and puffy eyes open.
“ Oh .”
Green eyes. If he recalled, grandpa said that his late wife had green eyes.
Those green eyes were blinking away the tiredness, he can tell his baby sister is ever so curious already, his honey-brown looking at her tiny form.
“Hello, Anya.” Oh dear, his voice is cracking. “I’m Yuuji,” Keep your voice steady, like he practiced, “I’m y-your big brother.” His eyes feel wet, he’s trying to swallow the frog in his throat, be strong, Yuuji! “It’s nice to finally meet you, my baby sister.”
Anya holds his finger tighter and Yuuji can only cough out a tearful chuckle, his forehead nudging against the cap that is keeping her little head and ears warm. Closing his eyes, he mutters his affections and promises to baby Anya, the infant can only stare and hold his finger.
His grandfather can only watch in fondness, his heart that had frozen over these past months melted at the scene, not one, but two grandchildren! Oh, how he wants to see them grow up, how he wishes to see Anya’s first steps, his knowing soul believes Yuuji will group up to be a fine man, protecting and guiding Anya, his heart swells and is warmed and he can also feel himself getting sentimental. Though his son may be gone, another Itadori has graced this broken little family and he knows that Jin would be so happy to see how in love Yuuji is with Anya. Yuuji may have grown to hate Jin, but, Yuuji has inherited the gentleness that Jin had, the small actions and gestures to be mindful of the little bundle of life that has blessed each and everyone of them.
“Yuuji.” Kaori whispers out. Yuuji snaps his face up to his mother’s voice.
Yuuji grins so bright, “Ma, look, Anya-”
“Come here, my son.” She waves her weak hand to him.
Yuuji blinks. Silently, Wasuke comes over to take Anya from Yuuji’s arms, and he rocks her slowly, staring at the window. From the clear reflection, Wasuke observes with watchful eyes as Kaori sits up, Yuuji fretting over her well-being. Yuuji hugs her again, his face buried at the crook of her neck while she places almost a possessive arms on his shoulders and her other hand petting his hair, her cheek leans against his forehead and she mumbles something.
Wasuke can only watch with a detached emotion towards Kaori. He holds his dear granddaughter closer to him, almost shielding her with his body. He decides to look down at curious little Anya, her green eyes are very reminiscent of his late wife. Anya has the signature pink hair his son had, which Yuuji inherited, and now little Anya has. Bringing her closer to his face, he presses a soft kiss against her forehead, he whispers his own blessing,
“May love find you and follow you, my dear granddaughter.”
Visitation hours is over and Kaori is still on bedrest and Anya sleeps next to her, the crib that is protecting Anya as she sleeps peacefully. Yuuji and Wasuke bid Kaori a farewell and the nurses leave Kaori alone. A curtain to give them privacy.
Kaori stands up. She looks down, wide eyed and a dull dark look as she stares and stares and stares.
A reminder of how she was careless. Only Yuuji. Yuuji is the one that is only supposed to be here, but she and Jin got too comfortable and Kaori fell too hard. A mistake has been made and she had to get rid of Jin, oh how she loved him, how she hated him.
How she stares down and can only be reminded of the other children that were not good enough, failures, mistakes.
Yuuji , only Yuuji is the one that is successful, the son who will surpass his siblings, the one that has such a great future ahead of him.
Oh, how she wants to place a pillow above the little infant’s face. This was not according to plan, she got distracted, she became comfortable, she forgot that a curse like them does not harbor the love that her son holds.
“Anya.” Her voice was devoid of feeling and low, “You make my son happy.”
Yuuji, her one and only, her beloved creation. Nimble fingers come up and caress the warm cheek of the babe. Jin would have loved her, he would be sobbing like he did before when Yuuji was born. Pulling back her hand, Kaori decides to find another host. This body has already been worn out and things need to be sped up. There is a body Kaori found long ago, a jujutsu sorcerer that Kaori kept hidden. The plan must progress.
“You’ll be that last gift for Yuuji,” Kaori murmurs, “Be grateful for him.” With that last statement, Kaori excuses herself, the nurses congratulating her as she finds her way out of the hospital.
Anya was left alone, absent father and an abandoned mother.
Yuuji has never hated two people as much as he loved as fiercely.