Chapter Text
Koushi didn’t really expect things to change that much just because now they used the words boyfriend and dating to describe their relationship. And in a way, they didn’t, except for the ways they did.
“Makki still doesn’t talk to me,” Tooru shared, laying on his stomach and kicking his feet a bit while reading the sixth volume of Nana. Right after Koushi stepped into his room. “Which is, like, whatever, except for the fact that we’re on the same team.”
“And the fact that he’s your friend,” Koushi supplied, unhelpfully based on the fact that Tooru’s only response was to purse his lips.
(Tooru. He got used to it way too easily.)
“Kou-chan, you’re supposed to be on my side,” Tooru complained and Koushi sighed, pushing his legs away so he could sit on the bed. “You’re in outside clothes,” Tooru protested immediately, trying to kick him off.
“So are you!” Disregarding Koushi’s completely valid argument, Tooru did end up kicking him off. Then he turned his head towards Koushi and grinned. “You’re so annoying.”
“Yeah, well, get used to it,” he shrugged and Koushi just scoffed, ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat.
“I thought you hated Nana.”
“I’ll tell you a secret but you have to promise to keep it.” Koushi blinked before nodding. “I actually enjoy romcoms. Jury’s still out of shoujos but I’m invested now.”
“You think that’s a secret?” Koushi questioned, crossing his legs to get a bit more comfortable on the floor of Tooru’s room, where he was apparently banished to.
“Shut up,” Tooru grumbled, putting down the manga and Koushi grinned.
“Make me.”
__________________________
“Kou-chan, do you want to do something real fun?” Tooru asked suddenly and Koushi turned to him with an eyebrow raised. He came over to help look after Takeru, or to help him with volleyball, he wasn’t sure yet. He didn’t think Takeru was ready for any volleyball tricks that Tooru would describe as real fun and— “I can hear you thinking from here.”
“Okay, I’ll bite then,” he sighed, throwing the volleyball at Tooru. He caught it with ease. “What are you thinking?”
“Mom will be home in ten minutes and I’m sure Takeru has practiced enough volleyball for today,” Tooru began explaining and quite honestly, Koushi wasn’t sure he liked where this was heading. He came over to look after Takeru and Tooru told the kid that he was his boyfriend and it was all just so nice.
Besides, they should be responsible. That’s what he told himself when he prepared to lecture Tooru on when it is appropriate to slip away to make out and when it is not. “Tooru—”
“Oh my God, that’s not what I meant!” Tooru interrupted, throwing the volleyball back at him which Koushi almost didn’t catch mostly because he was caught off guard. “Get your head out of the gutter, Kou-chan. I was just thinking that I don’t think Risa has a shift today.”
Koushi was starting to get really fucking confused and that was not exactly something he was used to with Tooru, especially not nowadays. “Okay?”
“So—“ he stopped dramatically, walking close enough to snatch the volleyball away from Koushi and spin it on his finger like it was a basketball. Koushi narrowed his eyes. “—what if she has like, a date? I mean, I’m pretty sure she does and I’m pretty sure I know who it is but I want to confirm, you know? Because it’s been going on for maybe months and she hadn’t said anything to me and it’s starting to annoy me and besides, it would be fun to just burst through the door and be like ‘I knew it!’, you know?”
None of that made sense. “Why would she even have to tell you if she’s dating someone?”
“I see your point,” Tooru nodded slowly, “however I am disregarding it because I am pretty sure that my sister is dating one Kageyama Miwa and I feel like that is something I deserve to be notified about.”
“Wait,” Koushi said while stealing back the volleyball from Tooru and grinning when he pouted at him, “Kageyama, like our Kageyama? Like his—”
“Sister,” Tooru finished, the mischievous smile back on his face. “Come on, my sister and Tobio-chan’s sister? That’s a story for the ages! Don’t tell me you aren’t curious!”
“How would you even know about that?” Koushi asked, spinning the volleyball between his two hands like it was actually a volleyball.
“That’s my secret,” Tooru joked, leaning close enough for a kiss. Koushi pushed the volleyball to his chest and flicked his forehead instead. He whined for minutes after that.
__________________________
The walk to Tooru’s sister’s apartment (Risa, Koushi’s mind supplied helpfully but it felt wrong to call a woman he barely knew by her first name but it also didn’t quite make sense to call her Oikawa) was relatively short. It made sense that she would want to live close to her parents, raising a kid alone but it also didn’t. It wasn’t Koushi’s place to question it, though.
“It feels wrong for me to be here,” Koushi admitted and Tooru shrugged.
“As my boyfriend, it is your duty to get caught up in my shenanigans.”
“I don’t think that’s quite right.” He shook his head fondly before kissing the pout off of Tooru’s lips just because he could.
“Come on,” Tooru led him to the door and Koushi tried not to feel nervous. He had met Tooru’s s—Risa before but still, this was just so out of the boundaries that were between the two of them. He did, unfortunately, sign up to get caught up in Tooru’s shenanigans and he was aware of that from the beginning. So, he forced himself not to bolt out of there when Tooru took out his own keys and decided to open the door without knocking or anything. He did elbow him in the stomach for it, however. He still had principles.
Predictably, there was no one in the genkan, and Koushi let out a sigh of relief, though that didn’t last long, as Tooru dragged him further inside the moment their shoes were off their feet. Koushi really shouldn’t have been all that surprised by it but he still almost squeaked.
By some miracle, when they entered the living room, the two women—and Tooru was right, of course, one of them did look a lot like Kageyama—were there and were simply talking amongst them, seemingly bickering over…what to watch on the television? He almost laughed at how similar they both were to their respective siblings in that moment.
“A-ha!” Tooru shouted, ever the dramatic—letting go of Koushi’s hand to point at the two of them sitting on the sofa and everything. “I knew it! Oh, Iwa-chan owes me so much money! I so knew it!”
Risa rolled her eyes, giving the remote to Kageyama’s sister, or, well, Miwa. That also didn’t feel right. “Tooru, what are you doing here?”
“I am, of course, exposing you. I can’t believe that you were keeping this a secret from me! You’re getting into bed with the kin of my worst nemesis, sister. How could you do this to me?” he went on and Koushi narrowed his eyes because Tooru was dramatic but he also had a tell for when he was lying even when it was merely out of drama and it wasn’t present.
“Oh, he really is dramatic,” Miwa said from her place on the sofa. Risa turned back to her, her expression saying ‘I know, right?’ and suddenly Koushi felt like he was intruding more than ever. He cleared his throat, making everyone else turn to him and offered a small smile.
“Sorry. I couldn’t keep him from coming.”
“Thank you for trying your best anyway, Suga-kun,” Risa nodded in his direction. “See, Tooru? Why can’t you be more like Suga-kun? He’s aware that people have boundaries.”
Tooru crossed his arms, “He’s my boyfriend, you can’t hit me with the ‘why can’t you be more like him’ like you do with Iwa-chan! Of course, he is not like me, that’d be gross.”
Koushi sighed, realizing that this would take a while. He kept an eye on Tooru because the tension in his shoulders was obvious but instead of getting any more involved in their sibling quarrel, he walked over to Miwa to properly introduce himself because it was his underclassman’s sister.
“Hi! I’m Sugawara Koushi, I don’t think we’ve met. I am, regrettably, Tooru’s boyfriend but I’m also your brother’s teammate, I believe?”
“Tobio’s?” Miwa blinked in surprise and Koushi nodded. “Oh. Didn’t think he would talk about me.”
“Uhh,” Koushi faltered which only made Miwa smile but it was clearly bittersweet. “I know from Tooru, actually? He said that his sister and Kageyama’s sister dating is ‘a story for the ages’,” he drew quotation marks in the air and Miwa raised an amused eyebrow before gesturing for Koushi to sit down who did just that.
“And since when do you have a key to my apartment anyway?” Risa asked, much more agitated now than she was seconds ago and Koushi closed his eyes, tilting his head back to rest it on the headboard of the sofa. God, one Oikawa was quite enough for him, actually. Why was he there again?
“Why are you derailing? You’re dating my nemesis!”
“You seem like you’re used to this,” Miwa commented which made Koushi snort.
“That’s one way to put it,” he joked before opening one eye to look at Tooru and feeling his lips curl into a soft smile, “but it can be endearing, I suppose.”
Miwa hummed in agreement and Koushi turned his head towards her, “I like when Risa acts childish. It always feels like healing, you know?”
“Yeah,” Koushi agreed even though Tooru’s always been childish, one way or another. He was also too ambitious for his own good, sometimes and he took off his glowing stars from his ceiling because girls he dated found it immature. So, yeah, Koushi could never quite get mad when he was a bit too childish. However—
“Wait—don’t tell me you got together during that match! Risa, what the fuck?”
Risa rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest defensively, “Oh, grow up. I was mostly just watching over Takeru, you know that.”
“It was an important match,” Tooru pouted and Koushi realized that he really shouldn’t have agreed to come here. Of course, that Tooru would actually be hurt over this and cover it up by a dramatic farce of betrayal. Koushi always knew that the rivalry between their teams wasn’t exactly the healthiest on Tooru’s part but it had been fine, between them, surprisingly. Still, he took out his phone silently to shoot a text to Iwaizumi. Just in case. “And besides! You were still there for me and instead you—you what? Made out with your high school situationship in the bathroom?”
“Wow,” Miwa said, with her eyes widened.
“It’s scary, isn’t it?” Koushi grinned at her and she scoffed.
“I rekindled an old relationship,” Risa corrected, a faint blush on her cheeks. “Stop being so petty. This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Oh, yeah, I bet you didn’t want to tell me,” Tooru said mockingly, now biting on his lower lip. Koushi was pretty sure that at this point Risa had to notice too but to be fair on her, siblings kind of just didn’t care about hurting each other sometimes and that went both ways. It was Tooru who breached the boundaries first anyway. “I can’t imagine ‘hey, while you were sobbing your eyes out knowing that you will never make it to Nationals, something that you have been working towards for years, I was kissing the sister of the guy who defeated you’ going over well.”
“Not everything is about you, Tooru,” Risa pointed out, squinting her eyes slightly. “Stop throwing such a fit. God, I swear, Takeru is easier to deal with than you.”
Tooru opened his mouth to say something and then looked over at Koushi, his lips pulling into a frown and Koushi knew why that was. He was also part of the team that defeated him. He was also part of the reason why Tooru never got to make it to Nationals.
And that wasn’t exactly fair because it was a competition and someone had to win and if they didn’t, then Koushi would’ve been the one to never make it to Nationals and besides, it was hardly his “fault”, given that he wasn’t exactly a starter player. Tooru’s mind, however didn’t seem to be listening to logic at that moment. So, really, Koushi expected a reaction like that out of him.
“I’m surrounded by traitors,” he expressed, trying to sound like he was joking but failing.
“Your dramatism really knows no bounds,” Risa accused and Tooru sticked his tongue out at her before turning to Koushi again.
“Whatever. I got what I wanted, can we go now?”
Koushi nodded, standing up from her place next to Miwa. He said goodbye to both of them but he didn’t say anything to Tooru while they were still in there, not knowing what would make his spiraling blow up in Koushi’s face.
“She’s so annoying,” Tooru grumbled once they left the apartment. Koushi chuckled softly.
“Kettle, meet pot.”
“Ha-ha,” Tooru rolled his eyes and then he stopped walking, narrowing his eyes as he stared at the end of the corridor. “Wha—is someone else here?”
Koushi checked his messages before turning to Tooru incredulously, “How did you do that? Like, that was actually kind of freaky.”
“Did you—why would you—”
“I—” Koushi cut himself off, shrugging. “Look, I can tell this is affecting you more than you expected and I doubt this is something you want me around for. And like, he would get it better, being your teammate and all. Sorry, if I overstepped, I just thought—”
“It’s okay, Kou-chan,” Tooru shook his head. “I mean, wow, it’s annoying that you read me so easily but I—I really am just barely holding back from telling you to fuck off forever.”
Koushi chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “He said he’ll wait outside, though, so you’ll have to tolerate me for another minute or so.”
Tooru rolled his eyes playfully, “I think I’ll survive somehow.”
True to his words, when they arrived to the parking lot in front of the apartment complex, Iwaizumi was there, with his hands in his pockets, leaning against a car that was probably his parents’ because it looked really expensive, actually. Koushi smiled at the sight though his heart ached a little too because Iwaizumi was certainly something, taking his parents’ car and driving over there in a matter of minutes because he was told that Tooru might need him. Koushi couldn’t help but think that it made sense that Tooru would never choose Koushi over him.
“Why do you always have to stick your nose into other people’s business?” he scolded Tooru the moment they got close enough, nodding once in Koushi’s direction as a greeting. Koushi only waved a little, deeming it better to not walk any closer. He had no place in there.
“And why do you always have to be so mean to me?” Tooru fired back, putting his hand on his hip. “Does that help with your inferiority complex or something?”
“Wow, you really are in a bad mood,” he murmured, spinning the car keys. “Get in. We’ll talk in the car. Say goodbye to Suga-san.”
“You’re not my mom,” Tooru rolled his eyes but he did turn to Koushi with a subdued smile on his face. “See you, Kou-chan.”
“Don’t I get a kiss?” Koushi teased. Tooru theatrically blew a kiss his way before opening the door to the passenger’s seat of the car. Koushi watched them go with his heart aching even stronger.
Because this was someone—something he would always be second to. He already couldn’t know how long this relationship could last but he was certain that the moment Iwaizumi realized that he was in love with Tooru back, he would be left behind, like he always was.
To say that he was jealous would’ve been closer to the truth than it ever was before but still, it wasn’t all bitter, his feelings as he watched them go. Because there was something comforting about the knowledge that Tooru was loved like this, that he would always have someone he could rely on. Above all else, Koushi did just want Tooru to be happy because he loved Tooru and all that really mattered was that—
Oh. He loved Tooru.
Well. That was going to be a problem.
__________________________
Koushi bared it without as much as a single tear for a few days before he almost snapped at Hinata at practice and then broke down crying in the locker room after practice, when everyone else was gone. Which, he could’ve considered it an impressive feat but he wasn’t supposed to be the type of person who took out their frustration on others and crying in the locker room is kind of, well, pathetic. So, even if for those few days he was acting really brave about it, he was ashamed that he wasn’t anymore.
Especially that it wasn’t even that big of a deal. Koushi knew unrequited love, he knew unrequited love better than most people. He should’ve been used to this. But Koushi never even stood a chance before but now, he was the one being kissed even if he wasn’t the one Tooru really wanted to kiss.
Which—it should’ve been fine. He should’ve been grateful for what he did have. And he was. But he was also really really jealous.
Koushi could shape himself into a lot of things to be loved but he could never be Iwaizumi. He could never be Tooru’s other half, his soulmate. He’d always be the second choice.
And it hit so much harder knowing that in everything in his life he’d always be the second choice. The second best. That was who he was—close enough to watch from the sidelines but not so close as to be a part of it.
And he was used to that, he really was. So, why now—
“Suga?” he heard a voice and he dragged himself back to reality, finding himself face to face with Daichi, to his absolute horror. “Oh my God, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Koushi shook his head because nothing happened and nothing really was wrong, he was just pathetic and he got himself into a situation that he could’ve avoided easily.
“Talk to me,” Daichi practically ordered, grabbing Koushi by the shoulders and he thought about yelling at him to go away but he felt so tired.
“I—” he started but he choked into that single word and he could hardly breath. Daichi sat down next to him, keeping a hand on his shoulder, breathing loud and clear until Koushi was able to follow the pattern and calm himself down. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” he admitted, chuckling awkwardly. Daichi smiled at him, soft and sweet and so so caring.
“The beginning would be fine.”
And so, Koushi started at the beginning. Well, the beginning of everything that had been going on with Oikawa, specifically. He did not start at Adam and Eve, nor did he start at never being chosen at recess.
“And I—” he breathes in and out, having told Daichi about the whole fling and how much Tooru had woven himself into Koushi’s life, “I really didn’t want any of this, right? I was just trying to get over—well, you and now I’m here, being in love with someone else who’s not mine to keep and—”
Daichi blinked rapidly, as if only now processing what Koushi said, “Wait, what do you mean get over me?”
Koushi smiled at him, all bittersweet and simply said, “Daichi. Come on.”
“But—” Daichi furrowed his eyebrows before laughing awkwardly. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t be focusing on this right now but you never even—Why didn’t you say something?”
“Why should have I? I mean, come on, you and Michimiya are soulmates, really. What would have been the point? Just so you could let me down gently and then walk on eggshells around me for a few weeks?” And okay, Koushi knew he was being kind of unfair but in his defense, Daichi was the one who decided it was a good opportunity to talk about this.
He was frowning, just looking in Koushi’s direction for a while, though it didn’t really feel like he was looking at Koushi before shaking his head, “I don’t like that.”
“Don’t like what?”
“You calling us soulmates.”
“Daichi, wha—”
“I mean, wow, I really took my time figuring out my feelings for her, so maybe you’re right in the fact that I already loved her by the time you would have confessed to me but—she had liked me for so long, Suga. And she fought so hard for this. I don’t want to give the credit to the universe when it’s all her, really.” Daichi smiled, still not really looking at Koushi and he looked so smitten, Koushi’s stomach churned.
“Yeah, we get it, you’re sickeningly in love with each other,” he teased but it sounded more bitter than he would’ve liked it. Daichi shrugged helplessly.
“Yeah, I guess so. Still doesn’t make us soulmates. Is that really a thing, anyway? I mean, I don’t think it is, personally but like, do you? Like, actually?”
Koushi shrugged, “I mean, it’s hard to believe Tooru and Iwaizumi aren’t soulmates, for one. Mostly because both platonic and romantic terms don’t really feel like they’re enough to truly, like, explain what they are, even from an outsider’s point of view.”
“You’re not really an outsider though,” Daichi said gently. A laugh pushed out of Koushi.
“I’m always an outsider.”
“Didn’t you say he asked you to be his boyfriend?” Daichi raised an eyebrow.
“I mean yeah but—only because it’s more convenient this way.”
“Uh huh. Sure, it is.”
“Come on, you can’t possibly believe he would choose me over Iwaizumi.”
“I mean, does he have to?” Daichi asked, tilting his head to the side. “You’re his boyfriend and Iwaizumi-san is his childhood friend. Both of those can be true at the same time.”
Koushi hummed, even though he was certain Iwaizumi would become the boyfriend one day and he’d be the one who wasn’t meant to be.
“All I’m saying is, that whatever you have going on with Oikawa, you are a part of that. And it’s silly to suggest you aren’t. You’re clearly a part of his life the same way he is a part of yours. Which, by the way, I’ve been holding back but I can’t believe you haven’t told me about this sooner.”
Koushi smiled sheepishly but didn’t explain himself. He knew he didn’t have to.
“Why don’t you tell him what you told me?”
“What, that I’m in love with him? Do you want me to make him leave me or something? Is this your way of telling me you don’t approve?”
“This is my way of telling you that the healthy communication you’re always talking about also applies to you,” Daichi said a bit more sternly and Koushi looked away because he no one liked to be called out on their bullshit. “I think he’ll understand. Even if he doesn’t love you back, from what you’ve told me, it’s clear that you’re important to him too.”
It was hard to believe but Koushi was honestly too tired to fight it. Instead, he sat with his back to the wall so he could lean his head on Daichi’s shoulder and sighed.
“Thanks, Daichi,” he murmured after a while of the two of them sitting there in silent. He saw Daichi nod a bit from the corner of his eye.
“Of course.”
Despite it all, Koushi really was grateful to have a friend like him.