Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

”Conquest And Gold is a terrible name for a VRMMORPG, almost as bad as calling them VRMMORPGs so I guess I can’t complain; you’re sure you got the correct game?” I looked up from my holo at my mother as we flew past the plant-covered ‘BurbTowers™’, heading back to our own after waiting in line all morning to pick up our pre-orders. “Of course I did,” my Mom said. “I made sure of it!”
“Yeah, you said that when Sanctus Lumen: Ultimate Terra came out too, so forgive me if I want to check.” I reached the bag that held the game cases.

“Come ooooon! When are you going to let that go? It was ONE time! How was I supposed to know there were two games with the acronym S.L.U.T that came out on the same day?” She pouted and swatted my arm. I gave her a flat look.
“Maybe the look the counter clerk gave you for buying a VR eroge with your 13 year old son might’ve tipped you off.” It had been years and we’d had this conversation multiple times. I still remembered the incredibly awkward conversation I’d had with the clerk when I returned it. “Pass me the bag I wanna check.”

“I can’t believe you don’t trust me!” She passed me the bag by her feet. “After you asked me to organise and pay for everything! The nerve!” She huffed as I pulled out the game case.
“No I didn’t, you asked me and I said no.” The front of the case had four generic-looking adventurers in the foreground, looking away from the camera out at a big landscape.
“Nuh uh, you said ‘Mommy, I miss playing games with you sooooo much, can we play Conquest And Gold: Everlasting Domain together?’”

I gave her a flat look. “I don’t sound like that. And don’t make me change my mind.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to abandon your poor defenceless mother to be ravaged by the cold, ruthless playerbase of a new MMO!” she dramatically placed her hand against forehead and fell daintily into my lap. She peeked open one eyelid to gauge my reaction to her antics, and upon seeing my nonplussed face she poked out her tongue.
“I’m just saying it’s a mouthful,” I changed topics as I shifted to get comfortable. “What am I supposed to tell my friends ‘Yeah I’m playing the hot new VRMMO: CAG:ED!’ it sounds fucking stupid”

“Language young man,” Mom intoned “and you won’t tell them that, you’ll tell them ‘I’m playing the hot new VRMMO: CAG:ED With my Mommy!’”
She broke into a fit of giggles as I scoffed, and flipped to the back to read the blurb.

ADVENTURE AWAITS!
The DOMAIN of the LIGHTBEARER has been shattered for a 1000 years after the CATACLYSM OF ZORN claimed her lands, leaving only the city of GOLDRIA and her surrounding towns SAFE from the FORCES OF ENTROPY.
Till Now!
Join THE RECLAIMERS in the ADVENTURE of a lifetime as you RETAKE the lands that were LOST to the CATACLYSM OF ZORN! FIGHT AND TAME the monsters of the wild! REBUILD towns and settlements in YOUR image! HELP bring back a WORLD from the BRINK of Zorn’s Corruption! Are YOU Champion enough to become…
UNCAGED?

I wasn’t sure you could use champion as an Adjective like that. My usual modus operandi for these games was a rogue or archer, but looking at the screenshots and the blurb had me briefly reconsidering my choice of playstyle. If I had to fill my inventory with a bunch of crap to build stuff maybe I should play strength based DPS or Summoner; but… Eh, there’d probably be some way to mitigate it late game, plus I could just pawn all the heavy shit off on Mom.

Thinking about heavy stuff and my Mom made my eyes drift over to her body as it lay stretched out on the skycar seat. A touch of light turbulence caused the squishy parts of her 6 foot body to jiggle slightly. She did light workouts to keep her ‘Mombod’, as she liked to call it, in shape. My friends who had seen her IRL called it her ‘MILFbod’.
Fucking Pricks.
Her tight waist from her great genes complimented her fat ass and thighs from too many sweets; and combined with a propensity to ‘bend over’ when my friends were around made sure they never stopped telling me how hot she was. The only ‘normal’ part of her was her breasts, and they were still perfectly shaped, if on the smaller side.

All part of ‘The Package’ she liked to say. Funny name for the very not funny very expensive ‘experimental gene therapy’ treatment grandma had signed up to test on her when she was still in the womb. She’d sorted out a lot of the animosity she had with Grandma over it when I was born normal, but I still didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Oh, they put my class on the cover! I knew I made the right choice,” I snapped back from my space out as Mom smugly proclaimed her superiority in class choice from lap.
“Which one?” I turned the case over to look at the four figures on the front.
“The Amazon on the far left side,” she said, calling my attention to the figures I hadn’t noticed on my initial glance at the cover. There were actually quite a few smaller figures all looking out to the horizon, and upon looking closer I saw several of them holding exotic weapons you don't usually see in games like this.

A lot of the outfits were… skimpier than in the scant previews I’d seen. Not that there were a lot of those out there. Apparently the company that made this game was successful and had a big enough fanbase to do ‘Stealth’ launches with little to no marketing and still have their games sell pretty well. Squinting at the far left side I saw a very tall woman wearing essentially a metal thong and a couple leather straps, next to a short person wearing a dark blue outfit and a hood with cat ears.

“Doesn’t look like a Paladin.”
“She’s a Paladin of Light,” she said with amusement in her voice.
“More like Paladin of Light Armour with what she’s wearing,” I muttered.
“I haven’t played Tank in a while so I wanted something familiar to the Paladin I played in Demons Invisible Crusade. So Nostalgic,” Mom sighed wistfully as she recalled her time playing the non-VR MMO.
“Still can’t believe they gave that game the acronym Dick”
She blew a raspberry at me.

—xxxxxx—

Feeling extra strong after carrying all of our grocery bags inside in one go, I went and had a shower to get rid of all the sweat and to prep myself for a full weekend of Neurodive™ gameplay. I went out to the kitchen for dinner dressed in a graphic t-shirt that said ‘Eat, Sleep, Game, Repeat’ and pyjama pants with game controllers all over it; a gift from Grandma, I’d never actually used a handheld controller.

I set the table as Mom put the finishing touches on two towering Hamburgers before sashaying over to the table, showing that her years of table serving hadn’t gone to waste. She was also sporting pyjama pants with retro VR headsets on them, but you could hardly tell that as her legs stretched the fabric. Her shirt by contrast was completely legible and read ‘Don’t piss me off, I’m close to levelling up and you look like just enough XP’ with a cool skeleton holding a gun. Grandma had a weird taste in gifts sometimes.

“Is Grandma gonna join us for launch? She blew me off with the Raubahn Extreme story last time I asked,” I said as we sat down “Did you tell her about the staggered launch?” The launch of a new VRMMO always had issues, and staggered launches were just one of the ways they tried to combat them. “I told her that we’re playing together and that we’ll be in the first time slot, but… we’ll just have to see when we get on,” Mom pouted around her burger and the mood turned a little sour.

Grandma was a hardcore gamer, and hated the ‘E-Girls who were just there to flirt while dressing like sluts and not play the real game’; and while I didn’t totally agree with her… She wasn’t entirely wrong. Which became an issue because her daughter was one of those ‘E-Girls who liked to flirt and dress like a slut’. There was usually nothing serious about it, just ‘harmless teasing’, but it was kind of embarrassing watching your Mom flirt with dudes that were probably your age.

It’d gotten bad enough while we were playing Valkyria on launch together that Mom and Grandma’s regular snide back and forth had escalated into a full blown fight, with name calling, personal attacks and old real life arguments brought up. When my attempts to mediate were met with dismissal by Grandma and were outright ignored by Mom; I snapped.

I’d said a couple things I’d regret later, quit the party, quit the family guild, and fucked off into the wilderness. I ignored their messages and invites, refused to talk to either of them and went so far as to join another guild. It had been a rough month for our small family and in the end some family friends had to get involved to get us to play together again.

We’d bounced back since, but with the launch of a new game there was a little bit of worry that the same argument would reignite. So it was likely just going to be Mom and me for the first day or two, which sucked but… maybe I’d send Grandma a message or something.

We ate in silence for a little bit, but it was broken by the scraping of my chair as I got up and stuffed the rest of my burger into my mouth.
“Slow down or you’ll choke,” Mom’s mothering instincts kicked in. “Alex I know you're excited but you can't just inhale your food like... Oh shoot, look at the time, let’s go!” She mirrored my actions after seeing the clock, saying something unintelligible while skipping out of the kitchen. After gathering up the plates into the dishwasher I headed for our shared office room.

Mom was setting up her Neurodive chair as I walked in. “You remember where to meet?” I nodded and began setting up my own machine. “I’m really glad we’re playing together again, Alex.” She smiled at me as she finished setting up. “I’m sorry about… last time. I can change my class if-”
“It’s okay Mom, you can play your slutty Paladin, just… tone down the flirting.” I appreciated the thought and I could deal with her wearing basically a bikini, but I just wanted her to not act like a bimbo with everyone we interacted with.

“Okay honey, I’ll try. Maybe I can find some armour that covers more too.” Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but her even bringing it up meant she was serious about it if it meant we could play together again.
“Ah! Servers up! I loveyouhoneyI’llseeyouinside!” Her eyes fluttered and her body slumped into her chair as she logged in. I finished my final checks and pulled my helmet onto my head.

Before logging in myself though, I sent a quick message to Grandma over the interface. Just a simple ‘I hope you come play with me and Mom’ with our meet up place and in-game names. Launch was always a fun time, and I’d never admit it but I’d missed playing with Mom and Grandma. I hope she showed up.
I hit the digital button and I entered the world of Conquest for the first time.

—xxxxxx—

It felt like I was underwater. I didn’t feel the need to breathe, and was content to drift in the water, but after a second felt a tug. My brain reengaged and I followed the pull as it grew more and more insistent. It pulled me towards a barrier of some kind, and I had to put some actual effort in to swim through it. It took some struggle, but right when I was on the verge of giving up I suddenly popped out onto a pristine white floor.

It took me a second to get my bearings, looking down at my body to centre myself. I was made up of a vaguely human shaped Astral cloth, stars trailing into a deep void that moved and changed as I waved my hand. Looking up, the sky was made of the same texture as my body, a vast array of stars and galaxies, in stark contrast to the shining white floor that seemed to stretch into the infinity. The only thing I could see was the giant swirling vortex of water behind me that I’d fallen out of.

I stared at the sky. This was one hell of an opening, most games opened with a monologue by some goddess or other-

My stargazing was interrupted by a pair of massive jiggling juggs as a Goddess zapped into existence in front of me. “Ohmygosh I’m like, so sorry, I hope you weren’t waiting long!” I would have been mad if my entire attention wasn’t taken up by her jiggle physics.

She pulled something out of her cleavage and began to read off some probably important worldbuilding or game intro that I couldn’t focus on because her tits seemed to be trying to escape from her fusion Greek toga/Chinese qipao dress. Her tits heaved at the slightest movement and even when she was standing still they wanted to burst from their confines and unleash a glorious sight on any present.

“...And so, uuuuh, Reclaimer? No that’s not right, uuuuh, Champion! Yeah! Ahem. And so Champion, it is up to you to fu-fight back the monsters, retake our lost lands, and bring an end once and for all, to Zorn! Now, reclaim your mantle!”
I had been so absorbed in her boobs that I only caught the end of her exposition as she swept her arms to the side, sending her gargantuan chest wobbling and drawing my vision towards a bunch of indistinct figures standing all around us.

They were all dressed in fantasy armour of varying type, weight and function. There was a tall and imposing figure with a large breastplate and two big swords. Another, stocky and broad wielding some kind of crossbow with a contraption on the side. Another wearing a metal skirt, huge tits barely covered by some kind of half-chestplate that showed an egregious amount of underboob.

In fact a lot of the figures seemed to be wearing clothes and armour that could be charitably described as… slutty. Tight shirts that showed off lithe muscles, skirts short enough to hint at what was underneath, armour that was cutoff to show more stomach than was maybe necessary, and A LOT of very high heels. I guess it was gonna be one of those games. At least Mom wouldn’t be the centre of attention if everyone was hot like this.

There were enough shadowy figures to make up a battalion, and honestly I would have sat there for hours trying to pick my class if I hadn’t already narrowed it down to Rogue DPS of some description. It might’ve taken me an hour anyway if I had to walk up to each figure to check what class they represented.

“Uh, is there a search function or something? I wanna play a Rogue,” I turned back to the Goddess, but kept my eyes firmly on her face, lest my gaze be trapped by her beguiling bosom again.
“Okay Champ, like, lemme just…” A look of concentration crossed her face and her tongue poked out between her lips. Suddenly, the majority of the figures backed away, becoming a hazy faceless crowd surrounding me and leaving only five figures standing in a circle close to me.
“Cool, thank you,” This was much more manageable.

“Like, you’re welcome Champion! You should pick Kunoichi btdubs, they’re suuuper cute and I’m their patron demi-goddess, hehe!” It was a little strange that an NPC was pushing me towards a specific class, but I let it slide.
I walked forward to examine the closest figure.

—xxxxxx—
Unfortunately the first three of the array of rogue classes didn’t seem that good. A combination of a bland stat array with no standout and generic abilities that amounted to ‘Good Stab’, ‘Good Shot’ and ‘Dodge’ really made me reconsider my first port of call for these kinds of games. Ranger was even worse than Rogue and Archer as it forwent ‘Good Attack’ for ‘Walk Fast’. Not even in stealth, just ‘Walk Fast’. At least the Mindthief seemed like it had some cool and unorthodox skills.

They were both cool spells, and the stats were pretty interesting. But… I wasn’t feeling it. Maybe if I decided to reroll. The last class seemed more my style anyway, and it was the one the demi-goddess recommended.

The Kunoichi spells seemed way more up my alley. Who didn’t want an afterimage? And I could probably distract Mom with a cute animal summon if she ever got on my nerves. The outfit was pretty cool too, with a black skinsuit under some kind of foldover half coat on top and baggy trousers on bottom. It had a pull-up face mask covering the lower half of the face and a hood attached to the jacket.

The model was female, but I reckoned I could make the outfit work once I finished making my character. Making my decision, I hit the ‘Confirm’ button. A little too hard as I saw another screen pop in where my ‘hand’ was, already on the ‘Accept’ button, and it flickered away before I could read anything. I tried to go back and read it, but I couldn’t find a way to un-initialise character creation.

Oh well, it can'tve been that important.

—xxxxxx—

I hit the finish button to finalise my customisation. The body in front of me was close enough to what I wanted, with an idealised approximation of my face and body, though annoyingly I couldn’t get my actual height, because apparently Kunoichi had a height limit to join or something. I closed my eyes, and felt my cloth body ‘pull’ into my new character avatar.

After the initial disorientation of having a proper body again wore off, I went through a couple of stretches I knew would help get my brain used to my new body height. I could immediately tell playing this class was gonna be fun when I almost bent completely in half, backwards, with no ill effects or disorientation. The adjustment stretches became a test of how far I could push myself, the answer being to the point of hypermobility in my joints. I could jump and twist in midair to reposition myself for a controlled fall. It felt fantastic!

I stopped amusing myself with how I could now do axe kicks when I remembered that I probably had a tutorial to do. I spun around to search for the buxom demi-goddess I didn’t know the name of, spotting her a short distance away, reclining on a seat that she had pulled probably from between her gargantuan tits as I didn’t see where else it could have come from. As I turned towards her I started to feel a little self conscious being in a skintight suit in front of a gorgeous woman. Why? I was technically wearing three layers, my avatar didn’t have a dick and she was just an NPC- wait a minute did I have a dick?

As if in response to my realisation (and to the Goddess on display) I felt an uncomfortable tightness in my crotch, and a sudden pang of fear shot through me. What if that beautiful Goddess could see my growing erection?
I looked down. You couldn’t tell. I felt a little silly, getting all flustered about this kind of thing. It was just a game Alex, cmon. Get yourself together.
I made my way over to the wet dream lying on her couch reading a… magazine? “Uhhh… I’m done character creation? Do you send me somewhere or something?” As I spoke the Goddess startled, causing her tits to wobble.

“Eeep! Ahah, you spooked me Champion! Oh em Gee, you picked Kunoichi! No wonder you’re so quiet! And you’re like, soooooo CUTE, you’ll have a bunch of fun, I promise! Okie, lemme just…”
She shuffled onto her knees and started searching behind the back of the couch, wiggling her massive barely covered asscheeks in my face. I was lucky my face was covered, because it must have been bright red as the bimbo demi-goddess basically twerked in my face. It wasn’t a sight I’d be forgetting any time soon.

She finally found what she was looking for, and held up a strip of the Astral cloth my earlier body had been made from in triumph. “Aha! Found it!” She turned around and stood up, a proud smile on her face. “Alright now, let’s see, umm…” she pulled out more papers to read from her cleavage.

“Ahem. Steel yourself Champion, for your fight will be, huff, fraught with danger, lots of fighting and building and blah blah blah gosh, did she really read all this?” She began flipping through pages “Some more stuff about building, the evil of Zorn, blah blah blah, pfft, long and hard monsters, gee She really wrote a whole big speech huh?” She threw the papers over her shoulder.

“Whatever, if She wanted me to read all that, She should’ve been here.” She flopped back down onto the couch. “Anyway, Lexi, here.” She held the Astral cloth out for me to take. “Take this part of- piece of cloth and hold it to your chest.”
I frowned and gingerly held it between my fingers. It felt strange, like warm pudding?
“Like this?” I held the cloth to my chest, feeling a weird comfort radiating from it.
“Yup yup, just like that. Now, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth, clench your jaw and hold still.” My eyes widened.

What?

Before I could react she put a hand to her lips and blew a kiss. A sudden force yanked my body and I whipped out into the vast expanse.
I tumbled through a tunnel of stars for a few seconds, before I was almost blinded by a bright light. I managed to turn my tumbling into a controlled fall by twisting around using my super agility, and almost lost control again as I got my first look at the game world.

An enormous city was settled in a crater, almost spilling over the sides and filling every inch of available space. The golden twilight reflected dazzlingly off golden streets and lofty towers, waving dozens of different flags from their soaring peaks. Forts dotted to the outside slopes, which gradually evened into plains covered with fields and farms broken up by the occasional town and forest; before coming to an abrupt stop at a roiling wall made of an astral tapestry streaked with golden light. Past the wall was an indistinguishable mass of clouds and peaks, shifting and changing second by second.

Unfortunately my sightseeing skydive came to an end as the fast approaching ground was replaced with streaks of golden light wrapping around my body. I shut my eyes to shield them from the bright light, and a second later felt my body go slack and my consciousness fade.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

I awoke feeling like all my joints had been dislocated and pushed back in. It passed after a few seconds, but it took an extra minute for my limbs to no longer feel like jelly.

I had things to do and places to be unfortunately, so I tentatively stood up off what I realised was a thin floor mattress as I looked around some kind of oriental style room, with woven floors and a sliding door made from what looked like thick paper.
I slid open the door and walked down the corridor to an ornate looking door, behind which was a reception room with a woman sitting behind a desk in the middle.

“Hello?” The woman startled at my voice and turned towards me.
“Oh! My! Goddess! A Champion! I didn’t even hear you come in, already living up to the tenets huh! Let me get a closer look at you!” She disappeared behind the desk before I could respond.

“Hmmm, good legs; nice ass; chest could use work but it’s fixable; And aren’t you just adorable! You’ll make a fine Kunoichi!” I just about jumped out of my skin as the woman who had been behind the desk not a second ago suddenly walked around from behind my field of vision, now wearing a pair of glasses and muttering to herself.

I barely got over my shock before getting jumpscared again by how incredibly stacked her body was. I wasn’t even sure how she had snuck around behind me as I was sure her wobbling behind was making noises as she moved, let alone her rack that was sloshing around in her loose jacket.

Her outfit looked like a porn parody version of what I was wearing with her proportions. Her bodysuit had a high-leg cut, something I could easily tell because the outside ties on her trousers could barely hold together, making it look like she was wearing some kind of reverse assless chaps.

After taking her body in I realised that she was more than a head shorter than me too, so she was probably a gnome considering the ears that prominently poked out from the side of her head. The last thing to catch my eye was the needles holding her hair in a loose bun, their strange glint pulling my eyes for a split second before I managed to break the snare her entire body had placed on my attention.

She stopped in front of me, having done two full rotations and beamed. “You’re the first Champion to show up since the First Reclamation! And here I was thinking those rooms could be put to a better use.” Huh? I was the first Kunoichi player she’d seen? I was about to ask about it but she barreled ahead.

“Anyway, you’ll have to excuse the lack of pomp and circumstance. I suppose we should have believed the rumours, but we had an important booking and- oh, you don’t need me to talk your ear off, here, take this,” She pulled a scroll out of her… sideboob, somehow, and pressed it into my hand.

“And we’ll put you in the prep room so no one harasses you while you’re learning. You know how to use the activation function right? Oh, It's easy, you'll figure it out.” In a whirlwind she led me by the hand to a wall that opened via hidden contraption somehow and copped a handful of my butt to push me inside, making me stumble with her surprising strength.

“I need to go get the Guild Mistress so you read that and we’ll be back by the time you finish. Ta-ta!,” The wall shut with a barely audible click. I stood dumbfounded.

Wait, did she just feel me up?

I knelt down on one of the cushions around a small table in the centre of the room with a tea set on it, to regather myself after hurricane Seiri had blown through. I looked around the room, something between a dance studio and a green room, with small makeup tables in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors that ran along one wall.

I turned my gaze toward the scroll in my hand. She hadn’t told me what spells this scroll gave, nor how to use it. She hadn’t told me how to use my HUD. She hadn’t even introduced herself!

I decided I would complain on the forums later and for now, focus on getting my HUD to work. I began trying out the common activation expressions till I got a hit; when I ‘thought’ about bringing up my HUD screen, it faded into the periphery of my vision. Health, stamina and mana bars, a blinking notification symbol and… that was it. Maybe there was a cooldown metre that wasn’t active, but it was pretty minimalist as far as these things went. It took a bit more fiddling to open my notifications, and then a bit more to sort through all the notifications for the ones that were actually important.

The majority of notifications were for entering and exiting areas, but there were four of actual substance.

I couldn’t read the second half of the Legendary Milestone changes and some of the text was broken. Seeing a glitch so early wasn’t a very welcome sight. Someone must have fucked up, probably the same guy that made HUD notifications minimized by default and put the welcome message that told you how to bring up the HUD behind bringing up the HUD.

I quickly changed a couple of the obvious quality of life options that were off by default for some reason. Whatever I couldn’t read didn’t seem that important so I just put it out of my mind. Better to get my spells and ask someone else about it rather than sit here speculating.

I picked up the scroll, and selected use.

—xxxxxx—

Using the skill scroll was a strange experience. It was like getting really into a book where you stop seeing the words and instead have the image in your mind, except the images were all magic circuits and mana motions. It was weird the devs put so much effort into such a small thing, and… maybe they should have saved the effort.

“Ugh… Shit, all I’ve been doing is sitting here. Why does everything hurt…” I came out of my skill trance lying on the floor with what felt like a soul, head and ball ache all blended together. I wanted to curl up into a ball till it wore off, but I forced myself to move. Stretching out like a cat and moving my limbs made me feel a lot better. I readjusted my clothes that had gotten dishevelled, smoothing out my bodysuit and pulling up my pants that had fallen down somehow.

“Here darling, drink this. The first time is always the roughest, it’ll get easier,” I froze as my head snapped toward the two women watching me pull my pants back up. The gnome woman from earlier, who I could now see was named Guild Secretary Seiri, was the one who had spoken and was pouring tea into a cup for me.

Next to her sat an imposing woman called Guild Mistress Maya, who was wearing a kunoichi outfit the seeming opposite of Seiri’s. It was all tight and proper, hood up with no skin on display besides around her eyes. Her jacket pushed her tightly bodysuit wrapped tits together to make an attention black hole only rivalled by lips so plump I could see their glistening outline through her black face mask from halfway across the room.

I took all this in in record time while standing there with my ass out, literally; spurring into motion to quickly pull my pants up and retie them world champion speeds so I wouldn’t embarrass myself further.
“Uh- haha- hi, how long was I out for?” I asked, trying to act casual while pulling my mask down to drink the tea I had been offered. The pleasantly hot tea instantly soothed out the headache I was feeling, going from a dull throb to nothing to a pleasant tingling that made me feel more alert.

“Oh you were only under for 20 minutes or so, less than we expected for your first time using a Skill Scroll,” Seiri’s mask twitched and the Maya shot a look at her. “Why don’t you have a look over your spells while the Guild Mistress here prepares to take you through them.”

Oh right, my spells.

[Kage Mantle] had the same text as earlier except now I could see that it increased my sensitivity for some reason, but on [Summon no Jutsu] the same area of text was blanked out. Why would…? Oh. That was annoying. There was probably either a stat requirement or a spoiler filter on some of the buffs these spells gave you.

Unfortunately the altered text on [Summon no Jutsu] didn’t give any hints about what it changed, if anything, but having different summons seemed useful. I’d have to ask about Contracts though.

After a quick visual check over my body revealed no changes, I felt around my face for any differences. I did feel a bit of the new sensitivity when I ran a finger over my lips and ear tips, but I chalked that up to having plump lips and elf ears. Must’ve just been a stat buff or something.
I then noticed I had another notification.

“Did that scroll teach me another language?” I refocused on Seiri who was sipping tea through her mask somehow across from me.

“Why yes, it taught you the language of the Kunoichi. It might take a little bit of practice to get used to speaking it, but as you can hear, you are able to understand it perfectly. You’ll be able to use it to pass along gossip and messages without being overheard.”

I realised halfway through she was speaking a different language, and the fact I understood that language was quite a trip. I wasn’t sure how useful the Milestone would be but it was crazy that the game had just… taught me a language.

The guild Mistress signalled that she had finished her preparations by snapping her fingers and gesturing for me to stand. I stood and Sieri swiftly moved the tea set, table and cushions into the corner of the room. Maya the Guild Mistress stood across from me, and when I tried to focus on her I noticed a slight shimmering outline.

“So first, I’ll help you activate [Kage Mantle] and get you used to keeping it running. Then, Guild Mistress Maya will spar with you to help you get a feel for how it works in combat. After that, I’ll take you out to the garden to contract your first summon. Okay, now, watch my hands…”
Seiri took me through a surprisingly intuitive process of hand signs and muttered words. I felt the spell settle around me, my hands giving off a shadowy trail that formed a second hand that followed my own.

“Fantastic, I wonder if all Champions are as quick a study as you! Now, when you’re ready,” She nodded to Maya who did a half bow and fell into a combat stance. I mimicked her bow, but when I went to fall into a stance I had a sudden realisation. It turns out that a fist flying at your face isn’t a great time to remember that you don't know how to fight, so I simply accepted my fate. But instead of standing still and taking it, my body moved to the side.

Huh.

It was a strange feeling letting my body move by itself out of the way of a few slower follow up blows. I felt like I could tap into whatever was moving me, sort of like muscle memory. But just like muscle memory, the movements lost something as my manual control couldn’t translate the instinct properly.
It was still there guiding me, but I took a light blow as I shifted backwards to give myself some space.

How much hp I had, how much hp my spell had and what kind of damage I had taken all suddenly popped into my awareness.
It was strange enough that I swayed on my feet, trying to sort out all the new inputs and outputs that my brain suddenly had to take care of. Maya waited for me, casually standing just out of reach. Her eyes twinkled above her masked smile.

It took a few more engagements and her letting me get a few hits in for everything to finally click. The information overflow, hp, stamina, mana, spatial awareness, my instilled instincts all settled in my head.
It’s hard to describe the feeling of knowledge suddenly fitting into a place it felt like it had always been.
It felt incredible though.

I got a milestone notification, though I still couldn’t read some of it. Breathing heavily, I called timeout and sat down.
“Oooohh, what did you get, show us!” Seiri had to explain to me how to show my notifications to others “A strength buff is fantastic! We Kunoichi have a hard time getting it, so if you ever get the chance to raise it, take it.” She nodded as if pleased.

“Can you tell me why some of the text is blurred out? It's happening on some of my other milestones as well,” It was kinda strange asking an NPC about game mechanics and HUD elements, but she’d started it so I was gonna squeeze as much info as I could.

“Hmmm… I’m not too sure Champion. Some of it might be a missing stat requirement, but those usually only show up on more powerful Milestones. Well, I’m sure the text will become clear in time,” she shrugged, sending her tits wobbling. “Now, come. We need to get you your summon form.”

I said my goodbyes to the Guild Mistress, only now realising that the only sound she had made in our entire interaction was when she’d snapped her gloved fingers to get my attention. I hoped I could be that good once I was high enough level.

—xxxxxx—

I don’t remember the walk to the garden, because following Seiri had that effect. The ache in my balls had never really gone away, and now that I was painfully hard I was feeling it full force. Any thoughts about why they still ached were quickly swallowed by the hypnotic side to side sloshing of the Ass in front of me.

When we finally stopped at the garden, I had no idea how we’d gotten there. A huge tree with pink leaves dominated the tranquil space, with a small waterfall impossibly flowing down the trunk from somewhere further up in the branches. The deep pool beside the tree teemed with fish of all sizes, some undoubtedly bigger than the pool could support. The whole scene was otherworldly and I must have stared unblinking for a full minute before Seiri called me back from my wonderment.

“I was just like you my first time here,” she sighed “It never gets old, but we will; so let’s get you in there so you can contract your summon.” I looked askance at Seiri.
“I’m not getting a fish for my first summon, am I?” I joked, but I didn’t see any other animals or monsters around.
“No, not a fish, but you are gonna be getting a little wet. Come on,” she stepped out onto the grass and I followed her up to the trunk of the tree, right beside the waterfall.

“You’ll have to sort your own summon contract out with one of the girls in there, but as long as you remember you have what they want, they’ll give you a good deal. Now, put your hand here, good, I’ll see you in a bit.” She once again gripped my butt with startling strength, and pushed me into the cold waterfall.

I wasn’t surprised when I went through the waterfall rather than stopping against the trunk, but it didn’t prepare me for the vertigo I felt stepping up and out of the pool on the other side. I had to take a second to get my bearings and look around the new zone I found myself in.

There was a pastel pink mist obscuring everything past a certain radius from the pond which I had emerged. Mirroring the tree on the other side, an impossibly tall tree sprouted into the sky. This one had white petals and a light-pink trunk, and I could see other similar multicolour trees twinkling out in the mist.

“What’s this then? A visitor? A new recruit? A Champion? Finally returned after your long nap have you?” a singsong voice serenaded out from behind the tree and I turned to face it.
“I’ve come to bargain for a summon contract,” I tried my best to sound manly and professional, and I thought I did an okay job.

“Hah! A summon contract, she wants. But she wants to bargain for the payment, hah! Thinks she has the upper hand?” Her voice began to bounce around as though she was speaking from multiple different locations.
“What will you bargain with, hmm? Your soul maybe? Your lifespan? Or maybe- mo thruaighe, I can’t take it anymore,” a foot and a half tall fairy zapped into existence in front of me.

She had a laurel crown on that complimented her cute pink bob cut with bangs that framed big reflective black eyes and a soft angelic face. Her wasp-like waist and huge thighs paired with her tits made her proportions look like two golf balls on top of a set of floating turkey legs. The tiny leaves barely covering her privates would have been outrageous if I hadn’t met any of the other women I’d seen today, but at this point I was suspecting the designers were incredibly horny when they made this game.

As if the game was trying to prove me correct she flew up to my face, grabbed my jacket and started shaking me. “You think you can tease me slut! Coming in here,” She took a big sniff “ smelling like that! I haven’t had a dick in 1000 years! Do you know what it’s like being the incarnation of a walking pocket pussy and not getting dicked! When Adelia ran off after the Second Cataclysm I thought it’d be fun lezzing it up for a couple hundred years with you whores, but none of ‘em have been strong enough to contract me! How am I supposed to get fucked if I can’t go outside! And then the first Champion that can actually Contract me walks in smelling like she’s been sleeping in a gloryhole for weeks when they know I need COCK! WELL I’M NOT GONNA BE BULLI- hold on.”

Her tiny hands on my jacket kept me unable to move as she huffed deep breaths into her nostrils.

“Oh by Queen Mab, you’re a boy.”

She let go of my jacket, and there was a moment of calm as her eyes unfocused. We snapped into action at the same time, her diving forward to pull my pants down while I desperately attempted to keep them up.

“Wait! Stop! Hold on a second! Can’t we talk about this!” My best efforts were losing a battle of attrition against the tiny cock-crazed terror, eyes glazed over babbling ‘cock’ over and over as she scrabbled at me like a dog.
My foot caught on one of my baggy trouser legs during an ill timed retreat and I fell to the ground. She succeeded in stripping my pants right off, sending my brain into overdrive to find a way to stop my impending rape.

“You said something about contract payment earlier! Uh! What if I had sex with you as payment!” Not the best plan to preserve my digital virginity, but it might give me a few seconds to thin-

“Deal.”
“I- What?”

“You’ll be getting my best service contract,” She whipped out a piece of parchment, forcefully grabbed my hand and pressed it against the area that said Sign Here.
“You can read it later,” she threw the contract to the side, now sporting a fresh drop of my blood.
“First you need to get. That. Dick. Out.” Each word was punctuated with a tug on my bodysuit, opening up a hidden inseam to let my hard cock out of its confinement. It was, unfortunately, a replica of the dick I had in real life.

I’d never been that confident about my size, it being on the smaller side of 4 inches hard. Nothing like the ones I’d seen in porn. The fairy didn’t seem to care, peeling back my foreskin and rubbing her face on my cockhead.

“Oh fuck yeah,” she shuddered as she lifted herself up, lined up her pussy, and impaled herself all the way to the base of my hairless crotch. It might’ve been the best feeling I’d ever experienced.

I hadn’t actually tried any other erotic neurodive experiences, and if they felt anything close to this I was missing out. She began to squat up and down on my shaft, keeping balance with her wings. Her tiny body was working overtime to gratify itself with my dick, twitching and lightly orgasming as if to make up for the thousand year dry spell.

She suddenly seized up, pussy clenching down hard as her legs kicked out and she slid back down to the base.
We both took a few seconds to recover from the hellish pleasure, gasping for breath. Her head lolled back as she looked up at me from my crotch.
“I need you… to grab… me… around the waist… and… Fuck. Me… like the pocket pussy I am!”

I felt something grab my brain and force me into action. My hands encircled her in an iron grip, not caring about crumpling her wings and started using her to savagely jerk myself off. Back arched, on animal instinct I continued to wrench her down onto my cock, my need to cum greater than any other in my mind. The fairy cum fleshlight was squirting like a broken pipe and babbling incoherently, her pussing clenching randomly as she rapid-fire orgasmed.

After what felt like hours of animalistic pumping I finally felt the pressure that had been building burst. With a final thrust upward into my deformed pocket pussy I came harder than I ever had before in my entire life.

I collapsed back into the soft pink grass, strings cut, unable to do much of anything till my brain’s synapses reconnected. Released from my steel grip, the deformed Pocket Pixie lay against my stomach where she’d fallen. She was drooling cum as her body slowly morphed back into its regular shape.

We must have lay there panting like dogs for at least 5 minutes before the pixie finally managed to get mobile again and shifted around so she was looking up at me.
“Wow lad, you really know how to work a Pocket Pixie,” she slapped me on the stomach. “Not that I have any complaints. FUCK. I needed that.”
She stretched out and I could hear her tiny joints pop. “Oooh, ow, Shite. Charley horse.” Her hopping around shaking her leg on my chest was my impetus to rouse from my masturbation coma.
“I’m Adenia, Queen of the Pocket Pixies by the way. Nice to meet ya.”

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

I took some time after introducing myself to make sure my clothes were all in order. Adenia used some kind of fairy magic to get rid of the pink grass stains on my jacket while I read over her contract and questioned her on what she could do as my summon.

“Well I definitely won’t be as powerful as I am here, feckin’ Mab’s seen to it that I can’t use the Spells she’s given me outside of Faeryland. I’ll still be the same hot piece of ass you see before you, but I’ll need to get Milestone points to unlock Spells to use outside. Different story if we ever need to fight in Faerieland, but you’ll need to be far stronger before we do that.” She finished smoothing out a wing and moved on to the next one. “I’ll follow all your orders properly, no Fae Bullshit. But I get to pick my own Spells when we get around to that, and I don’t want you micromanaging me either.”

“You’ll mostly be filling a support role for the foreseeable future, at least until I get a better summon form. Actually, how does that work? The tooltip didn’t give me a whole lot of info.” I went into my Spells to pull up [Summon no Jutsu], but when I pulled it up there were other notifications with it.

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head when I saw the second Milestone I’d gotten. What the Fuck? Who makes a Milestone like that? Why was some of it glitched again?

During my distraction, Adenia finished sorting out the rest of her wings and flew up to peek over my shoulder. “Ooooh look at you go loverboy, guess it’s true what they say about Champions and Milestones,” I jumped in panic and waved my hands about trying to close the Milestone, or at least cover it up in embarrassment.

“How- wha- you- How can you see that!?” I hadn’t shared it with her! My face must have turned crimson behind my mask, because she giggled.

“I’m your summon now, so I can see your menu when you have it open by default. Oh don’t look so embarrassed, here, you just gave me my first Summon Milestone, look.”

If anything her Milestone made me more embarrassed, but I tried not to let it show and readjusted my mask to hide my face more. After finishing her giggle fit and flying back up to sit on my shoulder, Adenia read over the [Summon no Jutsu] tooltip.

“Yeah, this is kinda worthless on the minutia and I dunno how half this stuff works either.” I gave her a concerned look. Wasn’t the Queen supposed to know this kind of stuff?

“Don’t look at me like that, the Cunt knew about all this left without telling anyone and I was the only one stupid enough to take the job. Didn’t even have the courtesy to leave a note or instructions, so we’re shit out of luck.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Surely someone must have explained what being a Summon entailed?” I asked incredulously. “How did you do your job if you don’t know the basics of Summoning?”

“I just write the contracts and sign em’, nobody tells me shit, an’ nonna the other girls wanna stick around this tree when they could be getting passed around like party favours at Oberon’s Court or used as treats for the dogs during the hunt. Only one slut dumb enough to get stuck sitting around a tree for ages, an’ you’re lookin’ at ‘er.” She presented herself with a smile, but the emotions on her face were mixed.

“Well you won’t have to sit around this tree for much longer,” I slapped my knees and stood up. “Let’s get the fuck outta here…

How do we get out of here?”

She giggled and directed me over to the reverse waterfall.
“Y’know, far be it from me to suggest how a deity do her job, but you’d think that the Goddess would want her Chosen Warriors to have as much info as possible.” She complained as we walked over. “Seems lazy just to give you a bunch of keywords and no explanation of what they mean.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” Fucking Devs.

—xxxxxx—

We left Faeryland in the same manner as I entered, through a waterfall on a tree except this one was trailing up the tree instead of down into the pool.

There was no vertigo this time as we crossed back out into the garden, instead we came out soaked in freezing water.

“MOTHERFUCKER!” Adenia yelled and gripped my shoulder almost painfully tight so she didn’t topple back into the water. I bolted up the small rocks that bordered the pond up onto the grass, looking around for something to warm us up.

I didn’t see Seiri or anything fire-like, so I ran back inside where it was a little warmer, but not by much. I couldn’t remember how I’d got here, so I just picked a direction and started running to warm myself up, but quickly had to stop as my stamina drained precipitously.

We must’ve made for a sight, Adenia poking her little pink head out of my jacket like a rescued kitten and me dripping water like a dog just come in from the rain.

After wandering down a bunch of sparsely decorated oriental-style corridors and only hitting a few dead ends, we finally stumbled out into the lobby where I’d first met Seiri. There was no one at the front desk, which I found a little strange, but the chilled debuff was sapping my energy and making it really hard to care.

Walked up to the desk, looking for a towel or something to call Seiri back to the desk. The stack of plush towels under the desk seemed like a gift from the Goddess to my cold soul, and Adenia muttered thanks to a Fae Queen as we towelled ourselves off.

Feeling a lot better after getting dry, I looked over the desk again for a bell or button that might call someone back to the desk. Unfortunately there were no concierge bells or other similar devices, only papers with Kunoichi code written on them.

Snooping through the drawers felt like going a little too far, so I just grabbed a fountain pen and a loose piece of paper to write a message. I decided to write it in the Kunoichi code language to practice, and I found it was actually really fun to write in.

‘Have to meet someone. Thanks for teaching me the basics. Will probably come back when I return to Goldria. Armageddon Lex.’

This whole tutorial had been a bit shit to be honest, but I’d probably need to come back here at some point so there was no reason to ghost away without leaving a note or saying goodbye. Sure they were only NPCs, but Adenia had a disposition, so other NPCs probably had them too.

Adenia took up position on my shoulder, and we left through the double doors that led out into the street.

Despite it having gotten dark in the time I’d been inside, the street was packed with people of all shapes and sizes. I paused on the steps to get my bearings and look for a way through the crowd to somewhere with hopefully less people.

I saw a sign that read ‘Booked for function’ on the door I’d come through and there was a glowing sign above my head that I couldn’t read. I also noticed the glances I was getting from the people walking by, and the glares from a couple of the… hawkers who were lining the outside of the buildings up and down the street.

Feeling rather self conscious suddenly, I stepped down from my perch to hide behind the crowd. This had the unfortunate effect of pulling me into the flow of foot traffic, and I was unable to resist getting swept away. I managed to keep my feet under me and keep up with the crowd, when suddenly I felt a hand clasp my butt.

The shock caused me to skip a step and almost lose my footing, pushing into a couple of people before I could right myself. A quick glance back just revealed a sea of faces and I had to keep moving so I didn’t get bowled over. I tried to move as quickly as possible to get away from whoever had groped me, but it happened again.

A hand slipped into the gap in my pants and squeezed. It felt like it was grabbing my bare behind for how thin my bodysuit was, and it disappeared once it had its fill. The brazenness of it caught me by surprise and I failed to react before the hand retreated. Apparently this was a signal to everyone on the street that I was there to be toyed with.

Groping, pinching, casually touching and slapping were all on the menu and at one point I’m sure I felt something give me a wet lick and a bite. I started breathing heavily, and I could feel my dick responding to the rough treatment. It must have been the extra sensitivity making me feel like this.

Yeah, why else wasn’t I saying anything, just blushing and taking it.

Adenia seemed to be enjoying all the attention as well, leaning into the flicks and pinches people were giving her. After what felt like hours but was probably only a minute, I saw a gap in the crowd and made a break for it.

I stumbled out into an alleyway, stinging from a parting slap to my behind. After wobbling a bit further down the alley I paused to recover. ‘Goddess, why did that feel so good,’ I thought to myself while leaning against the wall.

I wasn’t a masochist of any kind, but my increase in sensitivity must have been messing with my body something fierce if just getting touched and slapped and groped and bitten and all those people stari-

I had cut that line of thought off as I started getting hard again. Goddess, first using Adenia like a fleshlight, now this! It's like I was turning into some kind of pervert! Wait a minute. Goddess. Goddess? Goddess!

Huh.

That was strange. My curses against deities were all changing in my head.
“Good job kiddo!” Adenia patted me on the cheek and I turned my head to look at where she was perched on my shoulder.

“That was pretty impressive! The way you teased all those strangers, wiggling your ass and then letting them grope you like that. I think I even saw a dog get a taste! And then disappearing before any of them could take you for a spin,” She did a tiny chef’s kiss. “Perfection! They’ll be coming to the guild requesting ‘the slut with the tight ass and the stacked Pocket Pixie’ for the next week!” Her giggling turned into full blown cackling “All those other whores on the street were FUMING! You should’ve seen the looks on their faces!”

I stared at her as she leaned back in laughter. She seemed to have gotten the complete wrong idea about what had happened to me. I wasn’t wiggling my ass!... Was I?

I looked over my shoulder at my behind. Hmmm… I went to pull open my equipment screen when a notification got my attention.

I quickly pulled up my equipment screen and spun the model of my avatar around. Shit. My ass looked absolutely grabbable in my Kunoichi pants. If I’d seen my avatar walking down the street I don’t think I’d be able to look away. I was hoping that the bagginess of my pants would hide it, but I must have tied them too tight earlier.

Shit.

Walking around with a Milestone like this would be a pain in the ass, literally; I’d have to avoid crowds and places that might lead to people ‘being predisposed’. While it would be a good defence against getting snuck up on, I’d have to get rid of it.

Or…

No, there must be a way to get rid of Milestones, and I’d ditch that Certified Gooner one as well. Even if I didn’t know what it did, it couldn’t have been anything good.

Adenia finished laughing as I pushed off the wall and began moving swiftly down the alleyway. I’d need to explain to her that she was wrong and that I just had a big ass; I wasn’t wiggling it on purpose to get groped. But not right now. Right now I needed to get to the meet up location to wait for my Mom so we could party up together.

And maybe my explanation would sound more authentic when I wasn’t rock hard.

—xxxxxx—

We kept pretty good pace once we got away from the red light district. I’d figured out where we were from a guard. And all the brothels and red lights. And hookers. Said guard also gave me directions to Dimmedora’s gate, where I was supposed to meet Mom.

Along the way I told Adenia about who we were going to meet, and made it very clear to her that she was not to bring up anything about how we met or what happened earlier.

“Okay momma’s boy, you can introduce me later. All that teasing plus the dip in the pool really took it out of me, so I'm gonna take a nap.” She yawned loudly and crawled into my hood to nap. I thought it was a little strange that a being powered by mana needed to sleep, but she felt like a cat curled up in my hoodie, so I let it slide.

The streets had slowly emptied down to a normal level of NPCs for night time as I made my way out of the red light district. Unfortunately, there were a dozen or so players heading in the same direction as me, so I had to stick to the back of the small crowd.

The night streets made for a relaxing walk, the lights from all the buildings reflecting off the golden streets made for a most pleasing backdrop that lulled me into a false sense of security; which was why I was so surprised when a muffled slap rang out as a pair of hands grabbed my ass cheeks and started kneading them.

“What The Fuck, Dude!” I yelled as I spun around while covering my lightly stinging ass cheeks to confront the confused looking girl standing behind me.

“Oh My Goddess, I-I am SO SORRY! I-I don’t know w-what came o-over me, I was jus- just going to ask where you w-were going, and th-then I saw y-y-you an-and my hands just moved by themselves and- I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T BE MAD!” The offender was a pale wolf-girl. Average height, with long cream-white blonde hair that had two tall wolf ears poking up from the top of her head, her cute freckled face looked close to tears.

She was wearing a beige coloured frock with a thin black circle patterned on the modest chest, complete with a hole for a fluffy tail that was drooping down like a… well like a kicked puppy. I parsed her appearance while she blubbered her apology, and realised what had happened.

“Shit, It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” I said soothingly, this would only incur more stares if she started crying; people were already starting to look. “I actually have a Milestone that makes you do that. You just failed a check. Please don’t cry.”

She was getting worse and I was getting desperate. If someone else failed that check I’d have an even bigger problem on my hands. It was lucky enough that there were no other players behind us.

Why did it even affect players? That could be fucking busted in pvp if- Focus Alex.
“Hey look at me.” I grabbed her hands to get her attention. “My name is Armageddon Lex, what's yours?” She mumbled something that sounded like Dog Eat Dog World.

“Okay, DD, see, now we know each other. Don’t cry. You just got charmed. If you look in your HUD you’ll see you had a status effect.” Her eyes glazed over for a second and when she refocused on me she looked… less like she was going to burst into tears.

“How did you get such a strong ability so quickly?” I let go of her hands and she rubbed her eyes.

“Uhh, haha; you really don’t wanna know. Do you have any friends to play with you?” Now that I’d deescalated it was time to gently disengage so I didn’t get latched onto by the obviously emotionally unstable dog girl. Maybe it was a bit mean, but I didn’t really want to get bogged down teaching a new player; no matter how cute she was.

“No, I-I usually play single player games and visual novels. This is my first time playing a full-dive VR game.” Shit, no, stop! “I-I d-don’t have any f-friends.” Oh, Goddess make her stop. “None of the other players at my guild wanted to team up with me, and they said I should go to one of the gates if I wanted to find other players.” Fuck. Her tail had started wagging.

“You seem nice, can I join you?” It was like a harpoon through my chest.

I desperately wanted to say no. I even started spinning up an excuse. “Uhh well I’ve got my, uh, friend waiting for me and…” Shit. Her eyes were full of hope, like I was going to take her home from the shelter. Fuck. It must have been Mutual Understanding that allowed me to get reeled in by this tactic.

“...and you could play with us till you learn the ropes, if you’d like.” The words clawed their way out against my will. At least I’d left myself an out so I could get rid of her later.

“Really? Oh thank you so much!” I started walking away, hoping I could maybe ditch her if I was quick enough. But alas, when I felt a hand clasp my ass, I knew getting rid of her was going to be a nigh impossibility.

—xxxxxx—

We had to stop three more times to pry DD’s hand from my ass before it stopped affecting her, and I counted myself lucky we had only one near miss where I had to punch a dude in the stomach to break the charm after he got caught in the radius.

Her name actually was ‘Doggy Dog Girl’, which I was not going to say out loud so I kept calling her DD. I explained some of the basics of VRMMO’s while we walked, finishing up as we approached the gate courtyard.

DD ran off to sniff around for my Mother among the players milling around and chatting with each other; something I’d have liked to do myself if not for my Milestone making it awkward. It was annoying that I couldn’t just add her to my friends list from anywhere, but we needed to exchange in person before I could message her.

I made sure to keep my back to a wall while scanning the entrances to the square just in case we’d gotten here before her, when another player in a big hat with a black feather in it walked up and waved at me. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of looking broody and like I wanted to be left alone, but I guess some people just can’t take a hint.

“Hey there, uh, Armageddon Lex? You just got here right? I’m Bard D. Raven, I’ve been asking around about this, but has anything… Strange happened to you? In game I mean.” The slightly androgynous bard lowered his voice a little and moved closer to me.

“I’ve been talking to some of the other players here and some of them said that the game has been a little more… anatomically correct than what they saw in previews and stuff; If you catch my drift.” He leaned up against the wall next to me. “You haven’t gotten any weird Milestones or anything, have you?” I could tell this was a lead up and I wasn’t about to share without getting the real reason behind him approaching me.

“Maybe, why do you want to know? You collecting ‘em or something?” I hit back for some more info. His eyes narrowed, and he was pretty convincing when he casually looked around. When he finished his proximity check, his voice was almost inaudible to me.

“Yeah, I got one called Prostate Appreciator for playing with my ass, okay.” I managed to not react. “And I heard from some players who came in earlier about ‘some girl smacking a ninja looking chick’s ass on the way up here’. They also overheard you saying ‘it was a Milestone’s fault.” He glanced at me quickly to gauge my reaction. I’d probably let something show in my eyes.

“So I’m gathering up a list of them so I can avoid them and I’d appreciate your help. I’ll probably make it public on a forum or something when I log out, and I’ll anonymise all the names obviously.” Something about his name had felt familiar when I’d heard it, but after he’d finished his detective/reporter spiel it clicked.

Minstrel Parrot was an online presence dedicated to VRMMO secrets and guides, who tried to stay niche enough to go under the radar so they could collect the juiciest tidbits and stories from players. They sold a lot of their stuff to bigger outfits and went under multiple false names, but I followed their stuff and even interacted with them a couple of times in-game and on forums; so a guy with a bird/pirate name trying to coax out info on a story was a little suspicious to say the least.

I decided to shoot. “Bard D. Raven bro? My grandma read that when it was coming out. And with the raven motif? You’re slacking.” I said it with confidence and was just vague enough, but… he reacted just slightly.

Gottem.

“Fuck, I knew this name was too obvious, but it fit too well with the class and I couldn’t resist. Guess the cat’s outta the bag.” He remained casual, simply kicking his foot and shifting his hat. “Do you want anything to keep quiet or am I gonna have to do the tutorial again. I won’t be so obvious next time.”

Any material reward he could give me this early would matter little later on, so it would be way more worth it to get a favour. I could probably get a scoop early if I pushed for it.
“I’m a fan of your work actually, and I’d rather you keep doing it. So let’s just exchange contact info, I’ll send you some details on my ‘weird’ Milestone, and you can owe me later.” It was a little bit open ended but I could be talked down.

“Fine, but I’m not disclosing any sources or breaking my professional integrity. And if you get a lead, you go through me first, okay?” I nodded; it wasn’t that likely I’d meet another journo anyway.

I displayed my Hypnotic Hindquarters III Milestone to him and spoke in a low tone. “I got groped in the red light district and it got out of hand.” He read it over before cringing and giving me a sympathetic look.

“What were you doing in the red light district, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I’m a Kunoichi, not a Ninja, and their guildhall is there.” I was beginning to suspect that the Kunoichi guildhall might’ve been a brothel, and that I might’ve picked one of the classes for those kinds of players. Also if Kunoichi were known as whores, it would make a lot more sense as to why I got randomly groped while walking the red light district.

“Huh. I’ve seen a couple shinobi around, but I haven’t seen anyone else playing Kunoichi. Anyway, you didn’t get any other weird Milestones?” He gave me a sideways glance.
“Maybe. But you probably already have it.” I didn’t really want to reveal that one if I could help it.

“I like to be thorough, and if you’re talking about, ahem, Certified Gooner, I’ve already heard a couple variations on how people earned it. If it makes you more willing to share, I could tell you how I got mine.” When I nodded he did his casual proximity check again. “I got mine at the same time as my other one. The Tell-tale Bard guild leader taught me how to effectively use [Runic Rhyme] by… well lets just say I hope she never rhymes anything with ‘nut’ ever again.”

He shuddered. I sympathised.

“Damn, I feel downright lucky compared to you.” I leaned forward slightly so he could see the little sexpot curled up in my hoodie. He furrowed his brow.

“It was part of my summon contract with her. Honestly I’ve half a mind to get rid of these Milestones if I can. I don’t really wanna have to watch my ass every time someone walks behind me.” If anyone was gonna figure out how to get rid of these things fast, it was probably Minstrel Parrot.

“Same, but I haven’t heard anything about getting rid of them just yet, though I’m sure I’ll find something.” We exchanged contacts. “Be sure to let me know if you get any leads. I’ve got a bit more canvassing to do before I head out.” With that, he kicked off the wall and left to spy more players to work over.

I was about to go back to scanning when I noticed I had a notification blinking.

That was weird. It showed me the name of the Milestone [Bard D. Raven] had talked about, but nothing else. Weird, I wonder if it did the same for him.

I went back to scanning incoming players when I noticed DD waving at me while standing next to an amazonian woman who was almost a head and shoulders taller than she was. I didn’t need to see her username to know who it was.

Lazor Riley was taller than in real life, which made her tower over almost all of the players here. A lion's mane of black hair gave the impression of an untamed beast, at odds with the pretty smiling face my Mom wore. It was similar enough to her real life appearance, but with a wilder, sharper look to her; plus she was way more tan.

Despite being almost naked she managed to pull off the metal bikini with a few leather straps aesthetic really well, the pieces complimenting her muscles without making it awkward to look at her. Her forgoing the usual giant rack might’ve been biassing me though.

It was better than I’d hoped really. Mom’s outfits were typically… I didn’t want to think poorly of my mother, but when it came to playing VR games, Grandma had a point.

She dressed like a slut.

Tight dresses with sweeping necklines, extra short shorts and tanks, Catsuits with the zips halfway undone; All stuff she’d never wear in real life, because she ‘didn’t have the breasts for it’.

I didn’t make much of a fuss about it because she obviously had some jealousy issues about how she didn’t have the same ‘heaving funbags’ (her words not mine) as Grandma. The fact that Grandma refused to make characters that capitalised on them didn’t help. So it was nice seeing her looking comfortable with regularly sized breasts while still wearing something she liked.

When she made it up to me, she grabbed me in a huge spinning hug. “Oh, don’t you just look adorable! Your outfit is sooo cute too. Did they miss the memo that Shinobi aren’t supposed to be seen, cause I’d never miss someone as charming as you sneaking around.” She pulled me even tighter into the hug.

I started tapping after her immense strength actually caused me to lose hp. It was a little embarrassing to be manhandled like this, but I’d mostly gotten over this kinda stuff as a kid. Mom was a big lady with a lot of love to give and a lot of it was directed towards me. When she realised she was actually doing damage she put me back down.

“What skills have you got? Here you can look at mine.” I hadn’t even said anything yet and she was already asking for build info. Some things never changed.

Her spells seemed like pretty generic frontline fighter fare, nothing out of the ordinary except she also had some hidden text. I guess it must’ve been stat based.

“These seem really strong Lex,” she smiled at me after she finished reading.
“The other rogues were all super generic and this one was the only one that was more than ‘hide and stab hard’.” Mom nodded in agreement.

“It was the same with the other Tanks I looked at, so I just went with my initial pick. Besides, Paladin of Light’s lore thingy spoke of hidden potentials. I might get a super busted ability combo later. Oh, I wonder if you can get a buffing form for your Summon?” Adenia already had one buff Spell called [Seek and Hide] that buffed party stealth, so I didn’t see why she couldn’t get more. I’d probably have to bribe her with something to lean towards picking buff Spells though.

“Anyway, we should go buy some potions. It might be a little pricey to get a bunch of healing potions to make up for our lack of healer, but-” A small voice came from behind her.

“Um, I-I’m a-” DD began.

“Oh Goddess, I completely forgot you were here young lady, I’m so scatterbrained sometimes. Thank you for bringing me to my son,” I cringed a tiny bit as DD’s eyes went a little wider “did you need anything else? Help finding a friend?” Mom looked at her expectantly.

“Umm, Lex s-said I could t-t-tag along with yo-you guys…” She was stumbling over her words and blushing, not meeting my mothers eyes. “Armageddon Lex could I speak to you in private for a moment.” She gave DD a fake smile before leading me aside.

“Why is this random puppy girl with a silly name saying she wants to interrupt my precious mother-son bonding time? And what is that in your hood?” She tilted her head to one side.
Shit, time for damage mitigation.

“Look, I met her on the way up here and we had a little mishap due to one of my Milestones. Then she told me she doesn’t have any friends to play with, and that this was her first full-dive VR game, and I thought maybe she could join us till she got the ropes.” Mom gave me a flat look like she didn’t believe me.

“Alex, you’ve been playing VRMMOs since you could fit in the chair, and not a single time have I ever seen you offer to help a noob out. Now tell me the real reason. Cause you can do a lot better than some random bitch with social anxiety and mommy issues.” I sucked air in through my teeth and made sure DD hadn’t heard her.

Mom got her mean streak from playing online games with Grandma at a young age. Grandma had never looked prouder when she had described how Mom had made another kid’s parent cry on mic after she confronted mom for bullying her son.

“Look, I got a Milestone that made me more understanding and I think it’s fu-messing with my head a little. Also she’s a cleric, so we’ll save on potions, and worst comes to worst we just pawn her off on some other party later.” I didn’t know how true any of that was, but the fact that I wasn’t just telling mom to ditch her for me obviously meant something was going on.

“Show me this Milestone.” Showed her Mutual Understanding, and she read it over. “How did you learn another language?” She seemed legitimately surprised.

“Whatever, we’ll talk about this later. I’ll get rid of her.”

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

We were on the road out of the city at the back of a loose grouping of other players. The three of us had spent most of our meagre starting funds on adventuring gear sold by vendors that were getting set up outside Dimmedora’s gate. I’d introduced Adenia to Mom and DD, and we’d spent the walk going over Spell synergies and tactics.

Things were still a little frosty between Mom and DD, but her tail wasn’t drooping anymore and Mom was at least responding with information when DD managed to stutter out questions to her. So all in all the several hour walk to the next town wasn’t a waste, but it was still way longer than it should have been.

Like seriously, no one wants to be presented with a long ass walk as their second experience in a new game; I dunno what the devs were thinking with this one.

When the lights from the first town appeared as we crested a hill, I decided to go over all our abilities one last time to solidify our plan in my head.

While our current party lacked a fully dedicated damage dealer we made up for it in versatility and spread damage dealing potential. Mom had high Power, I had Sneak Attacks and [Kage Mantle], DD had her staff’s ranged attack and [Holy Wallop], and Adenia had [Faery Kiss].

I didn’t have info on how much damage the Spells actually did, it was probably int locked or something, so we’d have to feel it out. It was annoying, but if I wanted a full breakdown on stuff I’d just hit the forums later; no doubt they’d have a spreadsheet on optimal damage Spells by the time we finished our session.

I re-read Adenia’s [Seek and Hide] to make sure it did what I thought it did as we reached the first town.

Most of the group slowed down to take in the quaint visage of cozy homes under the stars. It was beautiful, but there would be time for sightseeing later. Right now it was game time.

As soon as we crossed the invisible threshold into the town proper, we enacted the plan we’d made on the walk. Adenia cast [Seek and Hide] and we bolted straight for the only open tavern; I rushed the tavern keep while Mom hit the quest board with DD. While the other players were distracted, taking a second to rest after the long walk or finding places to sit, we were going to get a head start on the bounties for the local dungeons. “I need a map with all nearby dungeons and monster dens. And any local area or monster compendiums you have.”

The young-ish looking boy behind the bar looked up from the paper he was writing on and his eyes grew wide as they shot from me and Adenia over to DD and Mom. “Meridia’s Font! Are you Champions? Dad! The Champions are here!”

The boy gave me an excited look before rushing into what I assumed was the kitchen. I frowned at his shouting, but no one else came in during the minute or so it took for a tall man in a hastily thrown on shirt and breeches to come out of the doorway the boy had run through.

“Champions! As I live and breathe, Champions! Haha! I knew I was right to keep the lights on and the boy out front. ‘Crazy for wasting crysta on rumours’ they all said; lazy buggers, look who’s crazy now! What can I do for you, Champion!” I repeated the spiel I’d made to his son. He stroked his beard in thought. “I do have a compendium for local fauna but I’d be remiss to part with it without getting copies made, I didn’t expect you Champions would be interested in that kind of thing. As for maps of local points of interest, I had a few copies made.” He reached under the counter and pulled up a vellum scroll.

“30 Mennets.”

I’d have to haggle him down, we didn’t have that kind of cash after Mom had insisted on splurging on healing potions. “How about 15 Mennets and my team rests here when we come back from our adventure.”

“25 Mennets and you go outside and tell your other Champion buddies that I have hot food ready and rooms available.”

“15 Mennets and I won’t tell them about you trying to rip me off with maps sketched by your son.”

His eyes narrowed and he eyed me up. “10, and when you come back, you help me with-”

“Deal.”

I wasn’t in a position to argue with a discount like that, so I’d just have to suck it up and do whatever he asked me to do when we came back.
We shook to complete the transaction, and a popup appeared in front of me.

Well it might’ve been nice to know that before I made a promise. Fucking game.

—xxxxxx—

The money I’d saved immediately went to the tavern owner anyway as Mom bought drinks for us as we spent a little time resting and appraising the map to decide where to go. A bunch of other players had filtered in after us, and one table was giving us the stink eye after they were unable to afford the wildly inflated price of the map.

“So, we’re in agreement then?” Mom said once we’d finished off our drinks. “We hit this old barn here, then go to that wolf den and maybe hit this copse of trees on the way back for a bit of extra grinding.” She pointed to the spots on the map in succession and I nodded. DD gave me a confused look and tried to tell her to ‘shut up and don’t say anything’ using only my eyes.

Luckily Adenia was there to grab her attention by sitting on her head, making her blush and swallow whatever she was going to say. I rolled up the map and our stools scraped loudly enough that a few people looked at us as we left.

Bait set.

Right on queue, a group of about five adventurers came out of the tavern we’d just left, one of them calling out to me. “Hey! Wait up ladies!” A classic opener I could respect, so I subtly gave Adenia the signal to play along with them. Mom and DD turned around, while I stopped and fell into an idle animation.

Game start, let’s hope this works.

“Like, what can we do for you, big boys?” Mom laid it on thick, using the bimbo voice she affected when she wanted good trades from players. Let’s see what they were going for.

“Well, you see, we were just hoping that you could share your map with us, since you guys were obviously smart enough to save money for it, and we could help you clear the dungeons. Maybe we could… split the spoils in your favour.” DD might’ve fallen for a crock like that, but he obviously knew Mom wasn’t gonna fall for it with the insults he’d laced in.

“Like, I dunno, me and my besties can probably clear a buncha this stuff by ourselves, and-”
“Alright, cut the shit and give us the map or it’ll be a long walk back here. I know that little ninja bitch is hiding around here.” A female voice spoke and I almost scoffed. I'd show her where that 'ninja bitch' was hiding.

“Okay then, ‘big boy’, why don’t you come and take it.” I heard metal rattle as weapons were pulled from inventories when mom pulled the map out. She skipped backwards, pulling an uncertain DD along, which was a nice touch.

It was all basically over when the Ranger stepped forward to chase the map instead of attacking me. He was obviously pretty new to VRMMO launch days if he fell for something like this, but I couldn’t blame him too much. I’d fallen for this one multiple times.

Of course the stealth class with their back turned doing a looping animation was a fake, you didn’t need to pass the check to tell that. The surprised look on his face when I stabbed him through the back of his neck with a [Kage Mantle] empowered shiv was exactly what I was hoping for.

He gurgled and fell face forward onto the cobbles. “Shit, Ozman!” One of his friends yelled out. I gave them the finger as a taunt while Mom raised her shield and DD started chanting a cast. Their Tank rushed forward to cover the Healer who had started to cast a healing Spell to save their Ranger, while the mage stood dumbfounded and the Greatsword DPS rushed forward to engage us.

The expression on Greatsword’s face when her swing went right through Mom was priceless. No-one would have been able to predict that she was an illusion, heck I knew and I still could barely tell. I capitalised on the overswing by rushing forward and shivving her in the knee before darting around and going for the mage, who was still not casting as I crossed the small distance to him.

Poor dwarf had a look on his face like he was way out of his depth, probably a friend who was playing because his friends asked him to. Welp, this would be a good lesson for him. I snap punched him in the nose and tossed sand in his face, making him cough and splutter.

The real 'Lazor_Riley' entering the fight with a completely unnecessary flying dropkick and taking out their healer signalled the end for the enemy team. With DD reluctantly peppering their Tank with ranged magic from her staff and Adenia with [Faery Kiss], the Greatsword DPS hobbled and the Mage all but down, there was no coming back for them.

“Next time try picking better targets.” I said as I shivved the mage in the kidney. “Sorry bro, no hard feelings?” I patted him on the back as he slumped to the ground.

“What the fuck dude, that’s so not fair, where did you get such a broken ass illusion Spell.” XxGuts’GirlxX sounded incredibly salty as she complained about Adenia’s [Minor Trickery]. She was correct of course it was absolutely broken, but I wasn’t complaining.

“Give us your healing potions and cash and I’ll consider letting you keep your gear.” Mom had a huge smile on her face as she held ChambersOnCall the healer in a chokehold. “I don’t know how rezzing works, but I can only assume it’ll be easier with a living healer.” She eased the hold a little when she started tapping.

“Alright, alright, Demis preserve us, Gee, give her what she wants.” At least Cool_Cullan the Tank knew what was up. Gee spit on the ground and opened a trade window with Mom.

“Knew we should’ve rushed them.” She looked pretty pissed, but since Mom let Chambers go she must’ve done as she was told. I waved DD over and she cast [Cleansing Cure] on Jamboree Josh to stop him from bleeding out.

It was honestly kind of crazy that she had a debuff removal on her base heal, but she’d said it was compensation she got for not getting a Deity Spell. The Cleric trainer had taken pity on her when she said she couldn’t decide on a Deity to follow, and told her not to worry about it, that she could pick one later from a wider variety of options and gave her the upgraded Spell book. Sounded like a new player trap to me, but results were results so I let it lie.

I helped the dwarf up after convincing him I wasn’t gonna shiv him again while Cullan chatted with Mom. “Yeah, Oz thought you’d be easy targets cause we had you outnumbered, stupid prick.” He gave his friend’s corpse a kick. “I voted against it for the record, but someone,” He glared at the Healer, “didn’t want to go against her boyfriend.” Chambers went red as she looked over Oz’s body.

“Shut up Cull, you should’ve pushed back harder.” It was a weak excuse. “Welp, he's dead and I didn’t start with a resurrect, so we have to drag him to a church or we'll be waiting for the next six hours for him to resurrect, and then waiting some more for him to walk back here.” She frowned at me. “You didn’t have to go for an instakill.”

“I didn’t, I was aiming for paralysis, but I guess weak point damage is way more potent than I thought.” I looked around at what everyone was wearing and frowned. “Maybe we should all get better armour.”

—xxxxxx—

We said our goodbyes to the ambush squad after chatting for a bit and exchanging contacts, and left town towards our actual destination. Once we were out of earshot, DD and Adenia asked me about why we were so casual and friendly towards players who’d tried to kill us and take our stuff, and why we hadn’t finished them off in response.

“Look, there’s an etiquette to these things. They tried to kill us, sure, but there’s no point in holding a grudge over a couple early dungeons. The same thing would’ve happened if they’d won.” I probably would’ve had to talk Mom down, but they didn’t need to know that.

Honestly the only reason we won at all was because Adenia’s [Minor Trickery] Spell was absolutely broken.

The versatility was astounding, probably to make up for my lack of personal control over it. Adenia had downplayed it initially, but when she’d used it to show me and DD a couple of tricks we could do with mana cast Spells using mana circuits on the walk to town, I knew it was gonna be a staple in our arsenal.

I regaled them with a couple stories of launch days from other games till we got a short way outside of town, stopping to re-check the map and look for the corresponding landmarks. “Can we… Can we have a rest?” DD was only slightly out of breath, but she was definitely starting to feel the non-stop hours walking.

One of the downsides of Healers and Mages in most games was low physical stats, which was especially brutal for new players as they didn’t know a lot of the energy conserving movement tricks experienced players used. This typically led to healers being given a spell that fixed this problem, but this wasn’t always the case.

“Cmon, I’ll give you uppies,” Mom smirked as she presented her back to DD. The girl turned red with embarrassment at the comment, and Adenia laughed.

“Y-your not s-serious? Is she?” DD looked to me to save her.

“You don’t have a movement spell yet so yeah, she is serious. I once played in a party where the Tank carried all the team's Spellcasters to a raid to save mana. All 5 of us.” Her face twisted into a look of apprehension as Mom made an impatient noise and wiggled her hands.

“If you don’t want to, we can always put you in a box on the side of the road,” Mom’s singsong tone withheld the fact that that was her preferred outcome. She’d been unable to outright tell the girl to leave earlier for some reason; my money was on DD’s high charisma combined with a lost puppy Milestone of some kind.

The fact that she was even offering to carry DD meant that she’d at least come around to the idea of having her in the party for a longer term.
DD blushed furiously as she clambered awkwardly onto Mom’s back, her tail making swishing sounds with the speed it was going.

—xxxxxx—

We stood in a copse of trees, Mom looking at the menus on the entrance to the crypt. She’d lied earlier in the tavern describing where we were going to mislead anyone who was listening as a precaution.

“Right, DD, Adenia, I’m gonna go over this again.” DD was standing at attention while Adenia was lying on her head between her ears. “The most important thing in a dungeon is to keep the Tank alive,” I pointed to Mom who struck a pose without looking.

“The second most important thing is to keep the Healer alive,” I pointed at DD and her tail wagged. “You do not heal me unless the Tank tells you to or we aren’t in combat. If a monster attacks you, scream and run to the Tank. Be aware of where you are standing. And finally Always. Look. Up.” I pointed to the sky as Mom scoffed.

“3 out of 5 adventure deaths occur because someone forgot to look upwards. Always check the ceiling before entering a room. Are we good to go?” I looked to Mom who had pulled up her quest log to make sure this was the correct dungeon for the bounty we’d picked up.

“Yup… looks like the instancing is a little weird, but there’s a chance of higher tier loot while the dungeon is full of Zorn Energy.” Typically there was a rotation system for dungeons in ‘living world’ style VRMMORPGs so players weren’t grinding only the endgame stuff for loot and allowing early game areas to get overrun with quests and monsters.

Usually this meant dungeons had a metre that refilled over time and it could only be run so many times before it depleted. When the metre was full, the dungeon would give boosted rewards to incentivise endgame players running older dungeons and give lower level players a boost. That sounded like whatever this Zorn Energy was.

“Cool, let’s get to it then.” I stepped up next to Mom.

I hit enter, and expected to be teleported inside, but instead the door creaked open to reveal a set of stairs that curved downward. I turned to Mom and shrugged at her questioning look. I guess this game was pretty committed to realism.

We walked down the stairs and found ourselves in a square room with a simple fountain in the middle, typical safe room faire but I didn’t let my guard down. I did a ceiling and floor sight check, then cautiously moved toward the fountain, leaving Mom tapping her foot impatiently and DD looking confused on the steps.

Once I got hands on the fountain to examine it, I waved them forward. “We’re safe, this is real.”

I ignored the looks I got from my party members. You could never be too careful with safe rooms. My Grandmother had instilled that in me with her custom maps she made, devious dungeons that she touted as having ‘old school difficulty’. Honestly, it was weird I didn’t have trust issues.

“Alright I’ll take point, DD, try and remember which turns we’re taking so you can get back here if you get lost or need to run. M-Riley, are you able to mental map or are we blind?” Mom closed her eyes and stood still for a second.

“Hmmm, no, I can’t do it, we’ll have to go blind.” She looked at me apologetically. Mom played different classes most of the time, but she had the ability to keep a pretty good mental map of whatever dungeon or level we were in across games. She mostly used it in co-op VR dungeon crawlers, but it relied on using the Intelligence stat in a complicated way that didn’t work sometimes.

“Whatever it shouldn’t be too complicated, just try to stand where I stand.” We exited the safe room and began our trek into the crypt. The delicate balance of speed and caution paid off when we met our first enemies, a set of six skeletons wielding ancient rusty swords and rotting staves. We executed our plan flawlessly.

First, I snuck up and insta-gibbed one of the staff wielders by punching his head clean off, shattering it against the nearby wall. Second, I bravely ran away to where my Mom stood around a corner with her sword ready.

Then it was just a matter of kicking out the knees of any oncomers while DD used [Holy Wallop] against the one remaining backliner. It took maybe a minute and a few cuts and magic burns, all in all an acceptable outcome.

With a few variations in layout and skeleton team size, the next three fights went the same way. Upon searching the room the Skeletons had been guarding, we found our first treasure chest. I checked it for traps, and when I found nothing I pointed to Mom.

“It’s safe, you open it and we’ll stand back here,” I pulled DD over to the threshold while Mom licked her lips greedily.

“I thought you said it was safe?” DD tilted her head cutely.
“Yeah, but your skills from other games never translate one to one. And I’ve been wrong before, so being too careful never hurts at early levels.”

“All clear!” Mom waved us over and held out a purple piece of cloth and a potion. “It’s not tailored to the opener, thank the Goddess. Here,” She handed me the cloth.

“Can you read any of this,” I gave the mask to DD.
“Ah, no, sorry,” She gingerly handed it back to me.

“Oh come on Lex, stop being so paranoid, they’re not gonna put a curse on such low levelled items. It’s not that kind of game.” Mom sounded kind of annoyed. “You’re lucky you got the first item, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!” I sighed and opened up my equipment screen.

She was more than likely correct, I was just making excuses because it wasn’t blue. It was probably better than my current mask anyway. I sighed as I hit the equip button.

At least I could see the stat buff of +3 Charisma, which was pretty good.

—xxxxxx—

More rooms and more skeletons, with just enough loot to make it worth it. I assumed. We couldn’t read any of the item text so I was hoping that they were worth something. At least the skeletons dropped Crysta shards so we could afford the tavern stay for when we got back to town.

DD was getting more used to how the systems worked, and by the time we reached the boss doors she’d gotten her version of the Soul Connection Milestone that Mom and I had earned in the tutorial. Strange that she didn’t get it there, but I suppose her tutorial was a bit unorthodox.

I tried to peek into the boss room, but the door was sealed tight with no gaps to see through. “No dice, there’s probably an ability or Spell I don’t have that lets you look through doors like this.” I stood up and dusted myself off.

I licked my lips that had been constantly feeling dry since I put on my new mask. I was still apprehensive about wearing equipment that we didn’t know the abilities of, but when I looked over at Mom’s new set of heels and DD’s choker with its little pawprint charm I gave up on that line of thought. DD had squealed with joy when I gave her that choker, and I couldn’t bring myself to ask her to take it off. Girls were weird.

“Any thoughts on what might be on the other side?” I questioned the party.

“Based on what we’ve been fighting so far, I vote Big Skeleton. It's a classic for a reason.” I looked at Adenia. “Any thoughts?”

“If it's a wraith or ghost my Psychic damage will be pretty good against it.” I nodded, and put my hand on my chin. Based on the Dungeon, DD would probably be our lynchpin for dealing damage against most of the undead bosses we could face.

“What about a Necromancer?” DD chimed in. I had doubts they’d put a high level enemy in a beginner dungeon, but you never knew.

“If it’s a Necromancer, I’ll distract it while you run. I can catch up later,” If I could get away. Mom and I shared a serious look. She’d make sure they got out.

“We won’t fight it?” DD looked confused rather than concerned.

“Necros play the numbers game, and we can’t compete. With our current abilities we only have one source of AoE and no Crowd Control, which is why I’ve been blitzing the mages and then we’ve been fighting in the corridors to remove their numbers advantage. If we try that on a Necromancer, he’ll just sit in that room and summon a basically endless stream of Skeletons to send at us; and it’ll become a battle of attrition we’ll lose.

“So if there is a Necromancer in there, our only option is to have Riley pull aggro on any ads and kite them away while I try to solo kill him fast enough that he doesn’t summon anything else. If I can’t, I’ll just book it back to the entrance and we’ll go do something else.” Worst case I couldn’t escape and died, which would be annoying but not the end of the world.

We decided that if it was a Necro, Adenia would go with Mom and DD to let them know if I died. We hammered out plans for ghosts and big skeletons too, but they basically amounted to ‘hit it until it dies’ with extra steps.

Nothing this early should prove that much of a challenge.

—xxxxxx—

Me and my big fucking mouth.

In the very centre of the room stood a robed figure surrounded by a candle-lit summoning circle, behind about 15 skeletons of various armaments.

“Fuck.”

“GO! [Light’s Glare]!” Mom took aggro while I skirted the horde as it rushed her. I made sure they were out of the room before I sprinted at the boss. The robed figure didn’t even turn toward me as I jumped and did a flying kick, sending them tumbling to the ground.

“Ow, What the Heck! Who-” I dove towards the prone form and mounted, raining blows to their face to stop any errant cast. This was going easier than I’d hoped, now to-

“Ow- oof- stop- ow- FRICK! Okay I’ll stop- STOP! What do you want!?” The hood fell back to reveal a human girl with striking purple eyes and red hair tied into pigtails, giving her a youthful look.

I barely managed to stop myself before I shivved her in the neck. What the fuck? I examined the ‘Necromancer’.

This wasn’t a fucking Necro, she just some NPC from town! I grabbed her collar and threatened with my shiv. “What the fuck are you doing!? Why are you here!? Who summoned the skeletons!?” My confusion and adrenalin from expecting to die came out as aggression.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I just wanted to practice my summoning! I used my dad’s amulet to ask our ancestors to make sure no one bothered me! Please don’t kill me!” She was close to tears as she blubbered her explanation.

It was a little hard to hold onto my anger while I was threatening a girl who was begging for her life. I put my shiv away and released her collar. Goddess, I was going soft.

“So there's no Necromancer.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and breathed out. “What were you summoning exactly?”

“Oh, I- um- I w-was summoning a… cerberus, using a circle. It’s a pretty easy summon.” Besides her being a terrible liar, I knew that wasn’t what she was Summoning. The Cerberus Summon required fresh meat and a differently drawn circle… Why did I know that?

I shook my head and cleared my thoughts; now wasn’t the time. “Don’t lie to me girly, I know what a Cerberus summoning looks like.” Her face went red as a cherry, and she looked away from me.

“It was an Onnabus. I just- you wouldn’t-” She looked like she was about to cry again. I frowned and stood up, walking over to the summoning circle to examine it. This wasn’t a circle for an Onnabus.

The knowledge filling my head told me that this circle was some serious shit. Its simplicity hid the fact that this was a meticulously modified circle that would call a specific Greater Succubus here. I didn’t know which Greater Succubus exactly, but it would give the summoner control over her while she remained connected to the circle and would banish the Succubus back to the Hells when it ran out of Mana. It was a legitimately impressive piece of work.

I had to stop and close my eyes for a second. It was sort of like when I’d been fighting the Guild Mistress, where the martial arts information in my muscles filtered into my brain slowly. But instead of a seamless click, this info just sort of… presented itself in my thoughts, not fitting quite correctly and forcing my brain to make sense of it all.

It was giving me a headache. I decided I needed to think about something else, and wouldn’t you know it ‘something’ presented itself as I felt two hands grip my ass. I sighed and tried to suppress my growing headache as I turned around.

There are moments that you look back on and think ‘If this had gone differently, where would I be now?’ This was one of those moments.

“Whu- whu- whu- what- what’s- why am I- Eeep!” The girl tried to hide her bright red face in her traitorous hands, unable to process why they had done what they’d done. I might have gotten angry, but I was also unable to process what I was looking at.

The front of her robes had come open, revealing her cute white sundress topped with an elaborate medallion that rested above her breasts. This information was lost on me as I focussed entirely on her lower half.

Something was making her dress tent out more than a foot, the hem barely covering whatever was staining it with some kind of liquid.

My lips went dry again and I licked them in preparation. My eyes dilated as I stared at it. There was no way.

“Umm, Miss? A-are you okay?”

I fell to my knees as I peeled back the dress. Oh Shit. Oh Fuck.

“N-no, don’t look!” I vaguely heard a nervous voice above me, but my brain had disconnected again, my body no longer receiving my inputs.

I ignored the popup and lined myself up in front of the tip, pulling my mask up and puckering my lips. I shared my first kiss with the biggest, most disgusting, smegma and pube riddled foreskin I had ever seen in my entire life.

The girl obviously didn’t know how to wash her cock properly, lucky for her there was a convenient cock cleaner in the area. I delicately scooped out my first in-game meal, savouring the taste like it was the most delicious treat before swallowing. I came without being touched from the taste, my already straining dick squirting at the taste of a superior cock’s detritus.

I took maybe a nanosecond to recover and went right back for more. After a minute of expert kissing and licking, I’d gotten all the delicious dick cheese cleaned off of the cock and into my stomach. I pulled back and took a couple breaths in through my nose.

Goddess, the smell<3.

I heard a whimper from somewhere, but I didn’t let it distract me. I needed this slab in my throat.

With one last chaste kiss, I opened my mouthpussy as wide as it would go. I could feel my jaw strain as I fit my mouth around the now clean head of the huge fuckrod, and after a few seconds of effort I felt give, and the whole head was in my mouth.

No stopping me now, I pushed forward. My gag reflex protested the gigantic intruder, but I shut it down with a practiced ease. Once that was dealt with, the only thing stopping me would be balls on my chin.

Keeping up the aggression I shifted backward and forward, taking a little more with each movement. I was making pretty solid headway when I felt hands grab the back of my head.

Oh goodie, that freed my hands from having to hold the base of the dick. I worked my throat with one while the other fondled the balls. The hips also started to work, trying to cram more and more dick into my throat.

I lost track of the amount of times I came; but I didn't care, because this wasn’t about me, it was about this poor cock getting the worship it deserved.

Finally, my lips hit the base. I could feel the heavy balls churning against my chin, ready to release their heavy load into a willing receptacle. My tongue and lips worked overtime, snaking and moving for the most pleasurable experience as I worked my head back and forth.

After an indeterminable amount of time to me, I felt the cock tense. I immediately slammed my face back down, and the hands gripping my head tightened on my hair. The climax hit and glorious jizz started pouring into my stomach as my lips made out with the base.

My entire world narrowed down to my throat and the feeling of cum staining my insides. Then as the flow slowed to a stop, my world narrowed again as I began to slide down the softening cock.

Why was that happening? OH, right, breathing! Forgot about that.

With a pop, I slumped over and passed out on the floor.

Chapter Text

—xxxxxx—

>function.Vessel_repair
>Running…
>function success rate 84.3%
>function.soulconnect_forcepatch
>Running…
>function success
>soulconnect_11.9%
>vesselfunction_96.2% within acceptable parameters
>function.applyBrainpatch
>function success
>for changes to apply please run function.reboot
>function.reboot
>Reboot GS System? Y/N
>Y
>rebooting…
>Warning reboot interrupted
>function.attach_packet
>Warning this function may cause vessel damage
>Continue function? Y/N
>Y
>#########################
>vesselfunction_100%
>Continue function.reboot? Y/N
>Y
>rebooting…
>#Don’t tell anyone cutie ;) - C

I awoke with a start.

“Huh? Whuh?” I sat up with immediate regret, as a pounding migraine made itself known when I removed my face from the nice cold floor.

“Are you alright, miss?” A strange blurry person was standing around nervously. No, wait, not strange. It was Ludmilla.

“I-I’m okay. Ish. Wha- wait, gimme- gimme one-ten minutes.” I slurred as I closed my eyes and slowly lowered my head back down to the cool floor. The sensation helped me get my thoughts in order.

What had happened? I’d pushed Ludmilla over, gotten on top of her, attacked, we’d talked, I’d gotten up, checked the summoning circle and then… right, Ludmilla had grabbed my ass and I’d sucked her huge hog till I’d passed out. That explained the headache. And the taste in my mouth.

…

Why had I done that?

((Because I’ve always wondered what a real cock would taste like, and it was right there. I might have gotten a bit carried away though)). Yes, thank you brain…

“Um, are you…” Ludmilla interrupted my thoughts. “A-are you s-sure you're okay, m-miss adventurer? You uh- um- You stopped breathing!” I peered up at her from my position on the floor. Her face was twisted with worry, and I also got a look up her skirt at her, thankfully flaccid, squeaky clean cock.

((Damn I’d done a good job.)) “Nah, I’m fine.” I peeled myself off the ground, thanked the Goddess my headache didn’t come back and sorted out my clothes so they didn’t look like I’d passed out sucking dick. I cleared my throat and spit on the ground. Yuck, I was gonna need to scrub my mouth.

“Alright, let me check my notifications to make sure this dungeon is clear, then we’ll get out of here.” I pulled up my HUD. Or, tried to. Instead of my HUD coming up, I got a massive spike of pain through my skull that forced my eyes shut. Ow.

When I opened my eyes there was a message popup in my vision.

Shit, well that explained the pain. At least the GM had given me something as recompense for whatever had happened. I thought about opening my HUD to look at whatever she’d given me, but I decided to take the advice of this Gardenia. The pain had faded already, but I couldn’t do much if it hurt that much while I had it open, so no HUD for me for a little bit. I guess I’d have to ask Mom or DD to see if the bounty was completed.

Oh right! Shit, Mom and DD were probably still fighting!

“Hey Lumi, how long was I out for?” When I looked at her, she looked ready to burst into tears.

“You weren’t- you stopped breathing! For two minutes! Why are you being so casual about this!? Are you sure you’re okay?!” Whoa, okay probably gotta deal with this first, Mom and DD could wait.
“Woah woah, calm down! I’m okay, I didn’t die, there was just an issue with my, uh, GS system. I’m fine now, a Game Ma- a demi-goddess helped me out. Look!” I did a backspring into a flip, sticking the landing with a bow. Damn I love video games. “See! Could I do that if I was dead? Play- Champions are made of tougher stuff, it’ll take more than a little brain damage to take me out.”

She wiped her eyes on her robe sleeve, and looked at me with a mixture of emotions. “What? You’re a Champion?” Her face ran a gamut of emotions while she processed. It settled on awe. “You’re a Champion! B-b-but you all left! Where did you come from? Have you been stuck in the Hells for a thousand years? Did I Summon you?” She was fangirling hard, her eyes sparkling.

“What? No, I spawned in Goldria this afternoon. We came here for a bounty, look, the rest of my party pulled your skeleton friends away and they’re probably trying to kill them, can you please call them off?” Her face dropped a little, but she nodded.

“Umm, I’ll need to talk to them to get them to stop chasing your friends. They won’t kill them though! I only asked them not to let people disturb me.” Well the skeletons we’d fought so far had definitely been trying to kill me, so maybe they had a different idea of what ‘do not disturb’ meant.

—xxxxxx—

We found my party hiding in a room, surrounded by a besieging army of skeletons. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d pulled every skeleton left in the crypt, there were at least a hundred of them. Ludmilla managed to talk them down luckily, and I managed to coax the girls out of their hole with the help of Adenia, who convinced them I was alive and not a corpse being puppeteered.

“I can’t believe you got two masks, these loot tables are trash!” Mom complained about my new mask as we walked back to the entrance. “Why couldn’t you get me a new shield or something? Do you just not love your mother enough?” she poked me in the side to tease me.

“Well maybe you should build some more luck then.” I easily dodged her jabs with my superior Speed. I had spun some bullshit about what had happened in the boss room and played off my new, dark purple mask as a drop for ‘beating the boss’. I made sure to embellish it enough so that Mom wouldn’t suspect anything, because I was not going to have that talk with her. Especially when I’d asked her not to act like a huge slut before we started playing.

We made it back to the fountain safe room without incident, followed by a squad of skeletons. “Alright Lumi, tell your ancestors to go back to sleep and we’ll see if that clears the bounty.” Apparently beating the ‘boss’ hadn’t cleared the bounty so I was banking on the quest text saying ‘return them to their slumber’ as a part of the clear condition.

“Okay, um, here goes!” She held up her medallion, and started talking to the skeletons behind her in a weird language that sounded like she was speaking in reverse. While it just sent an unpleasant chill down my spine, DD flattened her ears and growled, and Mom went pale and took a step back. Even Adenia covered her ears.

We all retreated closer to the fountain, which lessened the creep factor by a large factor, but we could still hear it grating in the background. “You’d think she’d realise that this wasn’t the best idea when she used this the first time.” I tried to lighten the mood a little, but Mom just shook her head while giving me a pained look.

“You probably don’t feel it that badly, but I took psychic damage and I think DD did too. Are you sure she’s not a Necro?” DD whimpered as she rubbed her ears, while Adenia stroked her hair. “It’s like nails scraping my ears.”

“Huh, maybe it’s because you’re both Holy classes? Ah!” I felt some pain in my head as I got two notification popups.

Oh, cool, a completely useless language that I couldn’t use without dying. Neat. “Thanks for all your help guys! Have a good slumber! I’ll be sure to pray to Theadia for you!” Ludmilla was waving at the retreating skeletal figures outside the door. She lowered the amulet and after spinning around for a second to find us hurried over.

“Did your quest complete Champions? Goddess, I can’t believe I got to help Champions with their quest! It’s like a dream come true!” Her giddy excitement was in stark contrast to Mom’s haggard face and DD’s suspicious glare.

“Alright, yes, the bounty cleared, thank you for your help Ludmilla. Let’s get out of here.” We made for the exit, the mood a little off kilter.

I read over the quest report as we walked up the steps back to the entrance. It was annoying that we didn’t immediately get the reward, and while it didn’t matter too much since we were going back there later anyway, I was annoyed by the amount of time wasters the devs had put in.

Like walking up these steps! Every other VRMMO I’d played just teleported you into the first room of the dungeon, and out again when you finished it. It probably had something to do with the NPC with us, but still I didn’t like the trend line these two points were making.

I tested pulling up my HUD as well, and it didn’t not hurt, but I’d probably wait a little bit more before diving into the notifications I could see blinking. I probably couldn’t read half of them if Gardenia was to be believed.

As we crested the top of the steps, auroral light gently started filtering through the sparse tree trunks as dawn began to break. Mom took a seat on the edge of the stone steps that we’d come up, and I gestured for DD and Ludmilla to do the same before taking a spot beside Mom.

DD looked like she was going to say something, but decided against it and sat down demurely beside me. I felt her tail lightly swishing the air behind me as Ludmilla followed suit and sat to watch the sunrise.

Damn we had good timing, it made for a breathtaking sight. The light bent and swayed as it was rarefied through the Astral barrier, splitting into multiple colours as more light spilled forth with the rising sun.

Moments like this were the reason I played these games.

—xxxxxx—

We sat there for longer than I’d expected, just watching the sun rise. It was just above the barrier when Mom broke the spell it had on us by yawning and stretching, which caused a chain reaction with the rest of us.

We all got up and I went through a couple of stretches to shake off some of the tightness I was feeling after sitting down for so long. The devs had done a great job on the muscle features in this game, I usually felt a weird flatness in the more extreme movements; probably because of my gymnastics stuff.

I finished my mini routine and turned when I heard clapping. Adenia did a wolf whistle, while DD blushed furiously and studied the ground intently. Ludmilla was pointedly turned bodily away from everyone. “Show off,” Mom scoffed at me while shaking her head, and I could see a faint blush in her cheeks.

Huh? I wasn’t- Oh, right. I blushed as I realised they’d all been captivated by my ass, probably a side effect of Hypnotic Hindquarters. ((I tried not to think about how it made my clitty twitch)).

“Sorry, I forgot about-” I got cut off by a set of notifications popping up, thankfully without any accompanying pain.

Well shit, that was interesting. “Bit early for a World Event isn’t it? It’s only been a day in game.” Mom finished reading at the same time I did.

“Maybe? I’m not complaining, could give us a leg up if we split up, have one of us do this quest and the others hit that wolf den.” The money would be nice, items could be hit or miss, but some early Milestone progression would be good. The question was who should split off. And I could tell Mom probably wasn’t going to be happy with my decision.

As if in response, I got a message ping from one Lazor Riley.

Damn, she had a good point. With the potions we got from Cool_Cullen’s team, we’d have more than enough healing to clear an early game dungeon with just the two of us. I was reluctant to just make DD go and do some boring escort quest but… she looked kinda tired after the dungeon, maybe an easy win and ((some sleep)) would do her some good.

“Hey DD, do you want to go back with Adenia to do this escort quest? It’ll be easy enough for Adenia to help you, and then you can go back to the inn and ((rest)).” She looked a little sad, but she nodded.

“Sure Lex, thanks for p-putting up with me. I-if you guys want t-to go ahead, I-I’ll leave.” Her tail drooped a little, and I felt like I’d kicked a puppy. Goddess dammit. I opened my messages to DD.

She perked up and wiped the tears that tried to peek out of the corners of her eyes on her sleeve. Crisis averted, I turned towards Adenia. “Can you keep these two out of trouble and help DD do this quest?” I shared the quest text with her.

“Yeah, should be easy; but I don’t really want to sit around for ages waiting for you to come back…” She gave me a look that I couldn’t really decipher. Was she saying she wanted my permission to do something?

“Uhhh… I promised the innkeeper I’d do something when we came back? You can do whatever he asks you to do, if you want.” She might be able to lift a plate and serve a meal or two. “Just don’t destroy my town reputation and we should be fine.” I felt a little uncomfortable with the scandalised look she gave me, but she agreed to go back with DD.

I spent the next little bit sorting out who had what items and making sure DD knew what to do. I also asked Ludmilla to take them into town through a more subtle route to avoid other players. Most people wouldn’t kill a new solo player in town in broad daylight, but there were some real pricks out there.

I would know, my Grandma was one of them.

—xxxxxx—

I took the opportunity during the walk to go over my notifications. I couldn’t open several of the Milestone ones which was annoying, but it proved that Gardenia the GM was telling the truth at least. I also re-read the message she’d sent me, though I now realised it wasn’t through the messaging system, but rather a warning popup, probably so I’d actually see it when I tried to open my HUD.

What I was really surprised by was the mask she’d given me.

I opened my equipment screen to get a better look at it and how it affected my overall aesthetic. It looked nominally like my other mask, but was dark purple, with a nicer fit and a couple steel-looking accoutrements on it. I liked it, and I could probably get some dye to make it go with the rest of my outfit. When I flipped it to battle mode however, I was in love. A full lower face plate appeared, purple accented steel with tiny markings etched into it.

They looked like the Kunoichi language, but I couldn’t translate what they said. Regardless, it made me look like a purple Sub Zero from MK1(2054), which was sick. I’d always thought the characters in that series looked cool, but Mom and Grandma refused to let me play it. Something about it ‘not being a real fighting game’ and ‘I refuse to give Ed Boon money for MK1 again.’

“You look silly, change it back.” Mom totally didn’t sound jealous about my new mask.

“You’re just jelly because my mask rules and all you got were some heels.” I switched back to regular mode and poked my tongue out, half in irreverence and half to try out the ’discreet mouth opening’. It worked as intended, and I realised that this was probably how the Guild Mistress and Seiri drank their tea without pulling their masks down.

Mom scoffed, and we teased each other for a while till the terrain began to require our focus to traverse. The walk to the Wolf den had led us toward an untamed section of land, covered with temperate trees and brush. It was surprisingly a lot easier going than we’d feared; with my high Speed allowing me to weave easily through the bushes and Mom’s high Courage and Strength allowed her to just bully her way through any obstacle.

It was pretty easy to spot the dungeon when we got close enough, it was demarcated by a huge volcanic rock that was lying on the ground. The actual entrance was a small depression that led under the rock, and it looked like it might be a bit of a tight fit for Mom. “You sure you’re going to fit?”

“Of course I can, they’re not gonna size limit a dungeon.”

—xxxxxx—

It took a little bit of wiggling and squeezing for both of us to fit through the low opening and get into the dungeon proper. Mom almost got stuck right at the exit, but managed to squeeze out with me pulling on her to help. After dusting ourselves off, we lit a lantern and walked a short way into the low cave before getting a notification.

I thought it was a little strange that there was no demarcation between the dungeon and ‘the outside’ like there was for the crypt. I wonder how they did the instancing? “Do you think there’s a menu or something for rerunning dungeons?” I asked Mom as we made it to the first intersection.

Whatever she was going to say was cut off by a [Corrupted Wolf] rushing out from the darkness.
I barely reacted in time as I got my hands up and shoved the beast with a hip twist, its jaw snapping closer to my neck than I was comfortable. Mom got her weapons out and rushed the monster to get its attention while I scrambled to get in position.

No doubt there’d be more on the way, so we needed this over and fast. Mom baited a bite and got a quick slash with her sword while I activated [Kage Mantle] and made sure there was nothing else coming. I couldn’t see very far into the darkness, but I could hear more claws hitting rock so I made an executive decision. “Switch.”

Mom shoved the wolf back and I slipped around her, shivs in hand to go toe to toe with the [Corrupted Wolf]. It got back to its feet quickly, but still just rabidly lunged at me because I was closer. I got in a jab while dodging, then followed up with a kick that made me really feel my lacking strength and did nothing except piss it off. I wasn’t gonna be able to brute force this.

“I’ll hold it!” Mom put away her sword and bum rushed the monster. She held her shield up to catch the wolf on it as it lunged. It scrabbled and snapped at her and she got bit while trying to get a hand around its neck, but she managed to hold it still while I hit multiple stabs in critical spots. It took maybe 10 seconds for the stacking criticals to overwhelm the wolf’s rabid energy, but it finally died.

We took a single second to let it sit, before Mom pulled her sword back out and we turned to face the growling in the gloom ahead of us.

—xxxxxx—

Turns out these [Corrupt Wolves] were probably easier than regular Wolves would have been. Regular Wolves used tactics and hunted in packs, so you had to worry about multiple targets, flanking attacks and hit and runs. The [Corrupt Wolves] just ran at us with a rabid ferocity, marching single file to their death.

I’d been worried when the first wolf had been a struggle for me to kill, but their attack patterns were super predictable and as long as I didn’t take on three at the same time it was fine. We both had to ‘chug’ a couple potions, which was a fun experience because they were made of edible glass and tasted like pop-rocks and raspberry candy.

I’d expected the dungeon to be pretty much a straight line, but there were a lot of side cave rooms and dens that we had to clear. We even found an actual [Caldera Wolf] in one of the dead ends, but it was sickly and it was probably a mercy that we put it down.

I suspected this cave might have something to do with the Demonic Penetration quest, and that these Wolves might be Demonically corrupted. Ultimately it didn’t make much difference, we were going to clear the place anyway, but a bonus reward might be nice. I made a bet with Mom that there was probably a chest or something here with a lore dump in it, maybe with a dead guy or skeleton next to it.

“Lol, as if. That’d be too cliche. I bet there’s a portal or something that is dripping corruption, and we have to fight a big Demon Wolf.” Mom wiped her sword off on a wolf corpse as I collected the crysta drops from the disappearing ones. Apparently you needed a set of tools to get material drops from enemies like this, which was annoying but I should have seen it coming. Oh well, not a huge loss.

I’d been checking the walls the whole time for hidden nooks that might be hiding enemies or loot, but the walls were remarkably flat and consistent for a ‘naturally’ formed cave. Devs probably got lazy, is what I would have said if in what felt like close to the final part of the dungeon, I found a nook.

“I see something… looks like, haha! A chest! No corpse though, but still. Alex wins!” I pumped my fist as Mom pouted.
“That doesn’t count, and it also doesn’t mean there’s not a corruption spewing portal, so you haven’t won yet. Why would there be a chest in here?”

“Don’t know, don’t care, whatever’s in it is mine.” I was mostly feeling good about betting right and didn’t actually give that much of a shit about what was inside. “Can you hold this?” I gave her the lantern crystal and worked my way into the gap.
It was a little tight, but I managed to bend myself so I could fit easily. “Haha! I do win, see! Blood!” I pointed at the dried blood splatter on the wall and floor that had been half hidden in shadows.

“Doesn’t count if there’s no body. Just hurry up and get the loot. Momma wants a new shield.” I scoffed and took the lamp. I walked over to the chest and did my trap checks, before working the lock with my shivs. It wasn’t exactly the same as other games, but locks were locks and there are only so many variations you can make of ‘ye olde locke’, so I figured it out.

Neat, I got a Milestone and unlocked a Skill, whatever that meant. I opened up the chest and looked inside. “Welp, lucky you I guess.” I said to Mom.

“What, is it a shield? I really hope it’s a shield…” Mom leaned into the crevice and did grabby hands at me, which turned out to be a bad idea, because it made [Hypnotic Hindquarters] activate. Not that I could tell any of this, because I was busy lifting a shield out of a chest that was way too small for it. I managed to not wedge it in the crevice, luckily, but I overbalanced backwards and would have fallen if it wasn’t for Mom standing directly behind me.

“Mom, why are your hands on my ass?” I knew exactly why, but I didn’t want her to know that.

“Huh? Oh my gosh, I… I don’t know?” She continued to knead my cheeks. “You have a really nice one though, good job honey, it looks and feels really good!” I tried to ignore my ((clitty)) growing hard from my sensitive asscheeks being felt up by my Mom. I was NOT a pervert that got off on this stuff, I just… I wasn’t okay???

“Can you sto-”

To our surprise, the floor fell out from underneath us.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

“Oww… Fuck…” We were in a heap on the cold stone floor. I’d hit my head on something so I couldn’t quite remember the ride down, but I definitely remembered the giant amazon crushing me into the floor. ((Fuck, I hope this doesn’t give me a new fetish)).

I tried heaving her off me, but I was nowhere near strong enough to lift the giant woman off me. “Mom- hey- MOM!” I smacked the only thing I could reach, which happened to be her ass. It made a pretty meaty smack that echoed in the small room we were in.

“Nghoo! Wha- what?! Where are we? Alex!” She must have hit her head too.
“I’m under your fat ass! Get off me!” I writhed to try and escape the amazonian press I was getting squished under. There was something poking me from multiple angles and it was getting uncomfortable.

“Okay, just- let me-” We had to spend some time unhooking my clothes from where they’d gotten caught in her armour somehow. My ((clitty)) definitely did NOT get hard from her basically dry humping my ass into the floor to get her bottoms unhooked from mine, i-it was because my ass was sensitive okay! I'm not a pervert who gets hard from simulated sex with his own Mother!

((Yeah, sure Alex, keep telling yourself that.)) Wait… “Do you smell that?” I took a couple light sniffs of the air. Between the smell of steel and sweat from Mom, ((which my clit twitched at)), was another sweet smell. Like strawberry milk?

“Yeah, I do smell something.” Mom sniffed the air as she stood up. I composed myself and grabbed the lantern that, thankfully, hadn’t shattered in the fall. Took stock of the room we were in, a small barren cell with barely enough room for Mom to stand upright with a metal hatch halfway up the wall that we’d probably come out of. It was covered with a secure grating that I couldn’t see how to open, so no going back that way.

The only other exit was a dark hole at the bottom of the opposite wall we’d have to crawl through. Luckily it was wider than what we’d crawled through to enter this place, so there was no risk of getting stuck; but I was uncomfortable with crawling through an unknown hole to Goddess knows where.

Maybe I could try jimmy the grating with my shivs… “Alex, I think we need to go!” Mom got on her hands and knees and bolted into the tunnel.

“Wait let me- Shit!” I heard what she’d heard. There was a loud hissing sound coming from the roof, and when I quickly shone the lantern up there I could see something swirling and shifting in the air. A gas trap.

I made like Mom and rushed the tunnel, not wanting to find out what kind of gas that was, though I was afraid it was just meant to push us into more traps. For what purpose? Who cares!

I shimmied along my back and pushed with my legs rather than going on hands and knees, because if there were traps in this tunnel they’d probably come from the roof at an angle to catch anyone crawling in the back. It’s what I’d do, and more importantly it’s what Grandma would do.

My paranoia paid off when I caught a dart that shot out of a small hole in the roof. Fuck I love playing Dex builds, ((that was sick)). Lucky I was- Oh wait shit Mom!

I shone the lamp forward at Mom’s behind and my warning died in my throat. There were about five darts sticking out of her ass. Welp, I’d either suffocate behind her corpse or she’d be able to shrug off whatever effect they gave her, so no point worrying about it. She should have let me go first.

I stopped/dodged a couple more darts and chucked them in my inventory before we finally hit the exit of the tunnel, but I was extremely worried about Mom. She’d been whining and panting after about the 8th dart, and she currently had 16 of the fucking things sticking out of her. I was honestly surprised she was able to stand as she staggered out into the dark room ahead of us.

I pulled myself out of the tunnel and swung the lantern to get a better look at the room, but flicked it back to Mom to see what was wrong with her, because there was definitely something wrong with the way she was hunched over in the middle of the room.

“Mom?” Calling out to her was a mistake. Her head snapped toward the sound of my voice, and I could tell something was definitely fucking wrong with her. Her eyes had glowing hearts in them, and she was panting and sniffing the air like a dog. She was also jerking her cock steadily as her heart pupil eyes dilated as they took in the light, searching for the source of the voice.

It might have been funny if I wasn’t trying to figure out what was wrong with her, and what I might need to do to not get mauled by a feral amazon. Also why was she playing a Futanari? ((That’s pretty hot)).

I swiftly shut off the light and sent us into darkness, the only sound being Mom’s as her heels clacked towards where I had been standing moments ago. “Hoo, NGHOOO!” She made whooping noises as she presumably jerked her cock while trying to find me. What the FUCK. What kind of trap was this? ((A hawt one, obviously.))

I very emphatically did not want to get raped by my Mother in a video game. ((Though it wouldn’t be rape if I went along with it…)) I sidled further along the wall, trying to put as much distance as I could between me and the masturbation fiend that used to be my Mom. I could determine where she was by the obvious sound of her heels clacking against the floor as she stumbled around, and the wet sound of her hand sliding against her cock.

I was successful in keeping away from her for quite a while, not that I could accurately tell how long it was in the dark, but long enough for my eyes to somewhat adjust to the darkness. It wasn’t quite pitch black, but close enough that I was pretty sure elves must have some nascent darkvision that I hadn’t unlocked. These games did that sometimes, made you unlock innate racial abilities, some bullshit about ‘not overwhelming new players’.

What I would’ve really liked that darkvision for was avoiding the honestly excessive amount of cum puddles she was shooting all over the place. Seriously, why the fuck was she playing a Futa. I was running out of floor space that wasn’t covered in cum for fuck’s sake. It was lucky that my mask had scent suppression, because I’d turned that on when I’d had to go near a cumpool the first time, and I dreaded to think what it smelled like now that it was everywhere. ((It would probably be mind melting.))

I had to make an awkward movement into a corner, and knew I’d fucked myself when I felt my foot shift on something. The small crystal tinkling sounded like a gunshot to my ears as I froze. There were no other sounds for a second. Maybe she- the rapid clicking of heels descended on my position and I pressed myself as far as I could into the corner. At least there was no cum on this section of the wall.

Goddess/Gardenia/Cendenia/Meridia/Hortunia/whoever’s listening pleasepleaseplease don’t let her catch me! ((That prayer might’ve been more convincing if I wasn’t so hard.))

Mom was right in front of me, jerking herself off and sniffing the air, her eyes as wide as they could go. I could see the hearts in them still slightly reflecting the tiny amount of light that was coming into the room somehow. I held my breath. I wanted to look away, but my eyes kept firmly locked on her thick futanari dick as she beat it off.

She was close enough that I could make out her entire cock, almost three times the size of mine and throbbing as she stroked it, inches away from my own hard, twitching ((clit)). I watched her fistfuck her cock for what felt like ages, but could only have been for a few seconds, before her heart eyes rolled upwards as she tensed.

She came again, but harder than before, like she knew I was there and was intent to mark me with her seed. She groaned while I just had to stand there and take it as she coated my front with spurt after spurt of hot cum. ((My clitty squirmed and released its own pathetic spurt that was lost amongst the stain of my Mom’s heavy, virile cum.))

I hoped in vain that whatever condition Mom had gotten was over, but when her eyes rolled back into focus the hearts were still prominent. My legs felt like jelly, I needed to breathe and I had very conflicting emotions about what had just happened to me. I was sure my luck had run out when there was suddenly light spilling from an open doorway.

Mom whipped around towards the light as figures entered the room. I was so out of it that I simply slumped down the wall and hoped they didn’t see me. The short figures spoke in some guttural language at Mom, who was taking a second to adjust to the new source of light. They held some kind of spear towards her, and my eyes could finally make out what they were.

They were goblins, a bunch of them, and they barely managed to hold mom back with their man catchers as she dove toward them in a rape frenzy. They managed to get her by the neck as they shouted at each other, and reinforcements came in to help. It took long enough for them to wrangle Mom that I learned their language.

“‘Old, Gentlemen! We ‘ave ‘er! Joost a bit moore!” The goblins rallied as they worked Mom around and managed to start pushing her out the door, where I couldn’t see what happened. I probably should have done something, but I was still sorting out a lot of things in my head. Like why I had cum by getting absolutely emasculated by my Mother’s cock ((and why that Goblin had a French accent!?))

I snapped out of my stupor when two goblins came back into the room. The leader was wearing a yellow stained ruffled white shirt, with a skirt and glasses. Her hair was done up in a fraying bun, with a cute beret and bags under her eyes giving her a sexy overworked french secretary look. The second was wearing a worn breastplate over threadbare canvas clothes, topped with a brown flat cap.

“Eugh! Aye did not smell it before, but that woman’z cum smellz worse than ze dogz!” She pinched her large nose closed. “I thought you zaid there were two of them?” Flat cap was shuffling uncomfortably.

“I saw two of them in the trap Boss. One of ‘em was dressed all in black- I dunno. Maybe- maybe they slipped out while I was gettin’ everyone down here?” There was a yell from outside, and Flat cap ran to check after a nod from Frenchie.

“Mmmm, plenty of samplez though. We’ll ‘ave to process thiz before we pull out.” She bent over and dipped her finger into one of the cum pools, before playing with the sticky substance between her fingers with a thoughtful look on her face.

She quickly glanced at the door, before bringing her hand up to her nose and sorting the cum off her fingers. Her eyelids fluttered and she whispered something I couldn’t hear; before wiping the remainder off on her stained shirt and padding out of the room, barking more orders.

I shoved down all the weird emotions that tried to bubble up and cloud my brain, and focused on what I could do now. Mom had been taken, but that might be for the best. Having her on the loose while she was still in a rape rage was a quick way to losing my anal virginity. ((Not the best time for that, maybe later.)) I need to get out of here first.

It was a little difficult to sneak with cum drenched shoes, stupid time waster realism bullshit meant I couldn’t just unequip them without taking time I didn’t have. I pressed up next to the door and checked the sightlines of the goblins in the big room. Even as a feral mess Mom managed to tank all the aggro and attention, allowing me to slip from the holding pen and into the shadows of the large cave room.

She growled as she tried to grab at the goblins that were holding her back with their catchpoles. They were attempting to push her into one of the open cages that lined one of the walls. The goblins managed to rally together to get her into the cage with a final shove, Flat cap running up and locking it.

He almost didn’t get away fast enough, Mom slamming against the bars and reaching out from between them, tongue slobbering and drooling as she licked the bars in a fuck craze. “‘Ow many dartz did you ‘it ‘er with?” The Frenchie looked at her subordinate.

“They ran from the gas faster than I anticipated, so I didn’t have time to change the dosage from Direwolf.” He shot her a pale faced look. “Y’don’t think it’ll kill her, do you?” Frenchie waved him off.

“Adventurerz are made of tough stuff, if she ‘asn’t died yet she won’t die anytime soon. We need to worry more about the other one you zaw. Everyone!” She clapped her small hands surprisingly loudly. “You and you! Search this room! You lot, search the tunnelz. The rest of you, I want samplez procezzed and reportz by nightfall. We will likely ‘ave to move up our schedule and leave sooner than we thought! So ‘urry up and get to work!”

There was a hustle of activity as the majority of the goblins left through the big door that assumedly led to the rest of the facility. There were far too many goblins still in the room for me to take by myself, so I stuck to the shadows as I formulated a plan.

The goblins came in two types, armoured ones and non-armoured ones. The non-armoured ones were mostly gathering equipment from tables and boxes in the room, while the two armoured ones were looking around for me on the other side of the room. They stuck too close together for me to take one down without alerting the other, so I decided to take my chances with the rest of the facility.

I skulked over to the exit and took one last look at Mom before I left. A goblin stood nearby watching her and taking notes as she mounted some kind of… I dunno what it was, but it probably felt really good with how fast she was swinging her hips. ((Focus Alex.))

Right, I needed information.

And to get out of these cum soaked shoes.

—xxxxxx—

Luckily, moving through the little Resident Evil lab the goblins had set up here was easy. They’d obviously skimped on the lighting and used a natural cave for the main artery of their base, which gave me plenty of nooks and crannies to hide in as I explored.

There were lots of doors along the main thoroughfare that were locked, or had goblins going in and out of them, and I wasn’t confident I could pick the locks in time with all the goblins walking past. I found the barracks pretty easily, a large stinky cave full of bunks and clothes, but honestly less disgusting than one might think for a place occupied entirely by goblins.

Not much of interest in there, judging by the clothes and nightcaps strewn about, they’d all mobilised not that long ago, probably some time after we’d fallen into the trap. Maybe they were nocturnal, based on their tired movements and attitudes. I counted about 30 bunks all in all, and 10 more Mennets in my inventory.

After a bit more skulking, a few more locked rooms and one lab that almost got me caught when a wolf in a cage started barking and thrusting his hips at his cage, I finally made it to the end of the thoroughfare.

There were goblins loading boxes of equipment next to a big wooden platform at the yelled orders of a goblin in a hat. “If I see one more of you try to load my lift without my permission, you’ll be climbing out of here with the box strapped to your balls!” I was kind of surprised the lift worked at all with how ramshackle it looked, but I watched it ascend up into the ceiling loaded with stuff, so shows what I know about engineering.

I spotted Flat Cap come out of a door that was set into the cave wall on the opposite side of the room and start talking to the armoured goblin who was guarding it. The doorguard yawned while Flat Cap said something, earning himself a clip on the ear. Flat Cap stalked off while Doorguard still struggled to stay awake. Frenchie was probably in there.

I crept through the shadows of the cave, easily avoiding the meagre pools of light from crystal topped standing torches that dotted the floor. Sidling along the wall, I stopped just outside the circle of light that the crystal above the door gave off. I activated [Kage Mantle] for the extra stealth and tossed a rock behind me so it skittered loudly enough for him to hear it. His head shot over to the sound, and he squinted into the dark. I pressed myself further into the wall.

He shrugged, didn’t bother to go check and just leaned up against the wall. Fuckin’...

I threw another rock, which he steadfastly ignored. I was getting frustrated. This is not how stealth mechanics are supposed to work. I was about to back off and get another rock, when I heard a gentle rhythmic breathing coming from Doorguard.

Did he… did he just fall asleep? No, that has to be a trick he… I moved out slightly and got a better look. His eyes were closed gently and he was snoring softly, his ears tweaking in response to the ambient noise of the cave.

Yep, he was definitely out. Well, that made this pretty easy. I checked the sightlines of the other goblins in the room, and slipped silently through the door. Luckily the hinges were well oiled, so I didn’t have to worry about a squeaky door announcing my entrance.

There was a short tunnel with a turn that led to another door that was locked, behind which I could hear Frenchie’s muffled voice so I knew I was in the right place. I slipped my shivs into the lock and opened it with a soft click, slowly peeking the door open to get a view of the room.

I first saw a paper strewn desk that was covered in papers, probably reports. Next to it was an… alchemy? set of some kind, with various beakers filled with some kind of white viscous liquid that looked a whole lot like semen. I didn’t really want to know what kind of fucked up shit Frenchie was doing.

But when I heard whining and a wet slapping sound along with moans from Frenchie, I figured I probably wasn’t getting a choice. She was sufficiently loud enough that it felt safe that I wasn’t going to be seen, and opened it enough that I could see the whole room. Turns out that this was a study/laboratory/bedroom, judging by the bed that was currently occupied by a french goblin getting railed doggystyle by a wolf that was bigger than her.

I was both shocked and not at the brazen bestiality that was occuring in front of me. I noticed a cage in the corner with a nameplate on it that read ‘Wubby’. So this probably happened on a regular basis if the wolf lived here and had a name.

“Good boy! Keep- keep pounding my zlutty green pussy! Just- HooooH! Just- nooouh- no knotting me tonight- Eeep!” She was trying to contain her moans and squeals as she was pounded by the panting wolf.

I’d be hard pressed to take out the wolf on my own, it’d take more than one backstab and I didn’t like my chances of taking the goblin alive if she was alerted. ((Best to wait for them to finish, then strike.)) Seemed like a plan, so I settled in to watch. ((Also, this is pretty hot.))

Huh?

What? I-I wasn’t aroused! ((My hard clitty begged to differ, twitching in protest against my bodysuit.)) Nggh! Fine maybe I was hard… but that didn’t mean I was… ((I’m making too big a deal out of this. No one knows I’m here, I should probably find a way to get rid of this condition.)) Yeah, it was gonna be annoying to sneak around with a hard on.

But how to get rid of it? ((I could try jerking my clitty while I watched Frechie get pounded by her ‘Wubby’.)) It felt a bit… Well, extremely embarrassing, but I could feel myself getting hot under the collar and my head was getting cloudy. ((Better to take care of it now.))

I had to peel my cum soaked trousers away from my bodysuit and fished my ((clitty)) out. I peeked at Frenchie and her canine lover as I slowly rubbed myself. ((Goddess, that wolf’s balls are so big. I wonder how much cum they have?)) Are they affected like Mom was?

The pooling semen on the bed and throbbing nuts seemed to suggest that yes, this poor wolf was dosed with the same aphrodisiac. He was frantic with his thrusts, whining as his knotted banged against the French goblins lower lips.

Said goblin was breathing heavily and babbling almost incoherently as her pussy was filled with doggy bone. “OuhoUH! Zo Biiiiiiiiiiiiiig!” She squirted as she came on the big dog dick, muscles tensing and spasming at random. ((Goddess, I wish I was her right now.))

I was having trouble cumming with my ((clit)), all my rubbing just got me more aroused and thus rubbing more fervently. Even jerking it furiously in time with the wolf’s thrusts wasn’t helping, and my arm was starting to hurt. ((Maybe it was a mindset thing? If I just tried to think about how good Frenchie was feeling, maybe that would help?))

Frenchie looked like she was having the time of her life, sweating and twitching as she squirted out multiple light orgasms on the wolf’s pecker. ((If she was cumming that much it must feel really good. That doggy dick filling her to the brim. The knot stretching her, just barely unable to get inside.)) It was almost working, but… I was close, ((but I wasn’t feeling what she was feeling.))

((I simply couldn’t relate to her getting reamed by wolf cock while I was only rubbing my clitty. Maybe if I had something inside me…?)) No, I-I couldn’t do that. Even if I was super horny. Even if no one would know. ((Even if it would feel super good?)) I felt my fingers enter my mouth.

I began to suck on them in time with the wolf’s thrusts. It felt good to have something to suck on, making my ((clit)) strain in my fingers but still not cumming. I know I’d already cum earlier, but this was getting ridiculous! I was supposed to be more sensitive! Even tweaking the back of my throat with my fingers felt better than actually tugging on my ((clit)) right now!

((Frechie’s gone insensate with how good she’s getting it.)) The wolf was basically using the goblin as a twitching fleshlight, her mouth drooling and eyes rolled into the back of her head. ((Mmm… I wonder what it feels like?)) It was surprisingly easy to imagine myself in her position, huge dog cock between my legs as he rubbed it on my… Nggh!

I finally came, my ((clitty)) releasing its load onto the floor. But I didn’t feel any relief. It didn’t get rid of my arousal condition. If anything, I felt it more intensely. Why? I’d cum hadn’t I? ((Maybe that gas from earlier affected me? Might just need to keep cumming to get it out of my system.)) My ((clit)) was still hard, so I just kept rubbing, but it was even less effective than before!

Even simulating a blowjob on my fingers didn’t help! They couldn’t reach far enough in to stimulate my throat properly, so I was left ((worthlessly humping my hand while not even gagging on my fingers! Demis I should just…)) N-no, I- I couldn’t! That was… ((No one would know. And it felt really good when those people grabbed it.))

My hands moved off my ((clitty)) and out of my mouth. No one would know. It was just a video game Alex, this is exactly what they were meant for. To experiment with different things that you would never do in real life. Like jerking off while watching bestiality, that wasn’t something you would do. It’s just a game.

My hands gripped my sensitive asscheeks. I didn’t cum immediately, but I’m a little ashamed by how quickly I shot my meagre load to a little ass touching. And once I started, a little more wasn’t out of the question. A pinch there, a light slap as not to make too much noise there. Goddess it felt so good. It was only to get rid of the arousal condition and get my head clear quicker, of course! ((Of course.))

I came a few more times while fantasising and watching the goblin get pounded by the wolf, at one point even cumming after turning off my scent suppression for a couple seconds. The smell of cum overwhelmed me, not only the wolf’s, but Mom’s too. It was so overpowering, that some small part of me realised my scent must be suppressed by my mask too. Because there was no way the goblins hadn’t smelled me while I was sneaking around.

The wolf somehow started slamming even faster than he already was, building towards what I assumed was his final climax. I increased the pace of my assplay, teasing and squeezing myself in pace with the wolf’s thrusts. Frenchie had come in and out of her stupor a few times, but was currently completely blue screened right now, her eyes not even rolled into her head, just unfocused and pointing in different directions.

They came sharply back into focus when the wolf finally slammed his knot home inside her, stretching her pussy wide and almost making her howl in pleasure; She just barely got her hands over her mouth to muffle her scream.

For my part, my hands gripped my ass so tightly that my fingers lightly brushed my sensitive backdoor. I didn’t realise how sensitive it had become, because even a light touch caused unexpected pleasure to slam into my already bliss soaked brain.

My squatting legs seized up as I came the hardest I had yet, and I fell backwards onto my hands, which caused another round of explosive orgasming as my fingers pressed into my rim again. I almost blue screened this time, the pleasure overwhelming my already fragile mental state to the point where I could feel myself falling into unconsciousness.

But ((something)) pulled me back from the brink, keeping me just awake enough to ride out the pleasure wave that was wracking my body. I spasmed on the stones for a bit, my muscles being puppeteered by the whims of my orgasm.

It took me a little bit to re-engage my thoughts, but importantly it took me less time than it did for Frenchie, who was still trapped in her wolfcock induced mind shattering orgasm. After laying around and getting my breath for a bit, I pulled up my trousers and sorted myself out. This one’s getting shoved away deep into the recesses of the mind, okay? ((Okie-dokie!))

I got eyes on the goblin and her canine lover, the former of whom was now half alert, but unable to move, knotted as she was to the cumming wolf. “OoooH! Nonono! You cannot knot me Wubby! I- ah! I ‘ave thingz to dooooo!” Her eyes rolled back up into her head as the wolf spun around and got comfortable.

Seeing that she wasn’t going anywhere, I spent some time wiping up my… emissions off the floor. I used my trousers since they were already basically ruined with Mom’s cum, so getting a bit more of my own cum on them wasn’t that huge a deal. I’d probably have to get new ones when we went back to town, or maybe…

I tried pulling them into my inventory, and then back out. No dice, They were still drenched with cum. I sighed as I pulled them back on, having decided wearing them was probably more comfortable than going around pantless. Goddess, explaining this to Mom was going to be embarrassing. And why had I… No. Stay focused.

I very intently pushed all my intrusive thoughts down, ignored the notification marker that was gently trying to get my attention, and settled in to wait.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

Turns out waiting for a wolf’s knot to deflate is really fucking boring. I was squatting in the semi-darkness on top of one of the desks inside Frenchie’s room, watching one very pleased wolf lie down ass to ass with his twitching blissed out mistress. He hadn’t noticed me slip inside, so some guard dog he was.

I had fuck all to do after examining every piece of furniture, item and creature in the room. There wasn’t that much of interest, mostly reports and books written in a language I couldn’t read and alchemy ‘stuff’. Turns out that was cum in those jars though, wolf cum to be specific, shocking I know. And Frenchie had an Intelligence of 11, which was pretty high in all honesty; though I wasn’t sure why I could tell that.

The answer was probably inside the gently blinking notification marker that I was having a harder time ignoring as my boredom grew. And the things I firmly did not want to think about right now were trying to weasel their way back into the forefront of my mind again. I decided to go for the more productive of the two evils and opened up my notifications.

Okay, they weren’t all as bad as I’d feared, in fact, Peeping Tom was what was improving my examine feature, which was pretty good. Even if it was a pretty embarrassing Milestone to have, I already had worse ones, so what was one more on the pile?

Whether I wanted to attempt to upgrade it or not was another question. Even if I couldn’t see what I needed to do, I could make a good guess. Unless people just happened to be slammin’ hams in front of me, I probably wasn’t going to search bushes at makeout spots or sneaking through whorehouses to peep on people. There would be other ways to upgrade my examine. Hopefully.

Blue Red and Black Paranoia seemed like a pretty straight upgrade as well, but I was a little weary of changes to my mental faculties, even if they were technically in my favour. It was just annoying not knowing what was actually you and what was your in-game Brain sometimes, and stuff like this tended to texture your in-game memories more and make them feel less real than they already did.

At least Trying to Sneak Around was a straightforward buff, though I still couldn’t see some of the text. Why it evolved into a fishing Milestone, I had no idea. I’d have to look on the forums later.

Assplay Aficionado was one I had real mixed feelings about, because damage resistance on back attacks was either an okay situational damage reduction or an absolutely busted dodge tanking Milestone, depending entirely on how good the damage reduction was. I tried searching for an in-game glossary again, but none appeared; so it looked like another forum search.

If it was strong enough, I could run as a secondary tank by using it creatively. And if it wasn’t, I could evolve it…
But that was…
Hopefully the damage reduction was good enough on its own.

Gratified Gooner was annoying but not unexpected, though I hadn’t thought about it when ((I’d started trying to get rid of the arousal)). I was mostly annoyed at myself because I didn’t know what the regular one did, and now whatever it was doing was probably even worse. Stupid fucking spoiler filter.

Last and certainly least, Cum Canvas. Fuck, I needed to find a way to get rid of these things, stupid fucking increased… whatever. I went through and pulled up my skills menu. Cum Alchemist better be fucking good.

I was surprised by the amount of skills I actually had. Looking into them it seemed like they were just a way to keep track of any buffs or superficial abilities you picked up from Milestones, mostly passives and stuff like that; so it made sense the game didn’t notify you when you got them.

Still would’ve liked to be told they were a thing, but I was beginning to get a feel for how much info the devs wanted to give us, that being fuck and all. I pointedly ignored the Sluttery tab and opened up Alchemy.

Well Cum Alchemist was a bust, a basically unusable perk to a system I wasn’t planning on using. But… maybe I could spec a little alchemy, make some poisons and stuff to help my damage. Or I could make potions to buff my strength. It once again depended on how strong the effects were, and how easy I could get ingredients ((that weren’t cum)).

After some more wildly abstracted theorycrafting that was largely useless because the game refused to give me hard numbers, I heard groaning come from Frenchie. I closed my HUD and made sure I was properly hidden atop the desk, as Wubby stretched out and shook like a dog. He yawned as his softening cock was released from a spasming Frenchie, and hopped down off the bed, padding over to lay down on his own bed. Which happened to be in his cage.

I carefully flexed my legs to wake them up without getting a muscle cramp, and gently lowered myself down from the desk. From there, it was as simple as walking over to the cage and locking it closed to stop the wolf from getting out. With Wubby out of the picture, I could proceed with my original intention when I entered this room.

Pulling out my shiv, I avoided the puddle of wolf jizz that had seeped onto the floor and got into position on the bed above Frenchie. She was lying on her sizable chest, tongue lolling out of her mouth and eyes unfocused, as wolf cum slowly dribbled out of her pussy.

I struck with speed, getting my hand over her mouth and holding my shiv to her throat. “Make noise and you’re dead, got it?” The naked goblin’s pupils dilated slightly, but I didn’t see any spark of recognition or thought pass through them. Fuckin’...

I got my arms around her and lifted her off the bed. She was actually lighter than her large tits and ass suggested, though I supposed they just looked bigger on her smaller three foot something frame. It was a tad awkward to manoeuvre her over to her desk chair, and I got wolf cum on my trousers, but at this point they were beyond saving so I didn’t care that much.

I searched around for the Distilled Water I’d seen in the alchemy kit earlier, and prepared myself before splashing it on her face. She coughed as her eyes refocused with the sudden shock of water on her skin, and in a nice touch I saw goose pimples prick up over her chest.

“Who- What- Mhmm!” Her eyes widened and focused finally as my hand clamped her mouth and I held my shiv to her throat. “No screaming or you die. I need the antidote to whatever you shot my m-friend up with. Now, I’m gonna remove my hand, and you’re gonna talk softly, or you get shivved in the neck, Okay?”

She looked afraid as she nodded slowly into my hand. I pressed the shiv closer to let her know I was serious, before removing my hand from her mouth. Her voice came out in a husky rasp, but she didn’t scream. “I assume you are the other adventurer Jamez zaw? I am zorry you got caught in the trap, but it wazn’t meant for you-”

I pressed my shiv a touch harder against her throat. “Don’t bullshit me. There was a loot chest in that hole, you expect me to believe you weren’t trying to catch players?” Why would she try such an obvious lie?

“Luut chezt? Puh-lay-erz?” She sounded genuinely confused as she sounded out the words. “I don’t understand what you are zaying?” I had to take a second to think out what I was trying to say in Goblin Gabble and not use game terms that didn’t translate, which was an extremely different feeling for someone who only spoke one language in real life.

“Sorry, there was an item chest that was obviously there to lure Champions into the trap.”

Her face scrunched up cutely as she peered at my face. “We zet up a meat trap to lure the Direwolf? There were no itemz or cheztz in that trap. I waz not trying to catch a Beowulf.”

The last word didn’t quite translate correctly, but I understood the sentiment behind it. “You probably haven’t heard, but the Champions have returned. You’re looking at one.” Her face turned to one of derision.

“I azzure you I am plenty zcared with thiz knife at my throat, you don’t need to pretend.” Now I looked at her with derision.

“You can check if you want.” She gave me a sceptical side-eye, before I felt a tingle of magic as her eyes focused on her HUD. Her expression was one of terror when she refocused on me. “Please don’t kill me! I don’t ‘ave any gold! I’m a good goblin!!” She started to hyperventilate as tears started welling in the corners of her eyes.

This was not going in the direction I’d thought it would. “What? Why would I- Hey, hey! Calm down.” She was starting to babble and shake in panic, tears streaming down her face as she pleaded for her life. I quickly put my shiv away so she didn’t hurt herself and gripped her shoulders to keep her from scrambling out of the chair. “Look, I’m not gonna kill you! I don’t want any gold! Please calm down!”

—xxxxxx—

It took several minutes of soothing and convincing to stop her from having a panic attack. I explained to her that I had literally spawned yesterday, so I didn’t know whatever preconceptions of Champions she had, but it was likely that I wasn’t like them. I still had to release Wubby from his cage and get his assistance as an emotional support animal.

It took a few minutes of incomprehensible french accented blubbering, but she was finally able to pull herself together enough that she was able to speak without having a breakdown. This was the third time I’d had to do something similar to this today. Maybe it was me? ((I wonder if there’s a Milestone?))

She had introduced herself as Tunni after she pulled on a big shirt that went down to her knees. I squashed a gamut of emotions at the ‘touching’ scene of the half clothed goblin crouching down to hug her pet wolf, ultimately considering it a good thing that I hadn’t killed any goblins on the way over. Why the devs put ‘friendly’ goblins in a starter dungeon I’d never understand.

“So, can you please explain to me what’s going on here? What are you doing in this place?” There was probably another alternate quest finish like with the crypt, so it was probably a good idea to get any information she had.

Also I felt a little awkward standing there silently.

She shot me a quick glance before turning to focus on Wubby. “Oh, um, we are ‘arvesting wolf zperm for use in repopulation of wolvez around the free city-ztate of Vvaderglahzt.” She said it with all the aplomb of a practiced story that she’d had to explain a hundred times. I glanced over the alchemy kit and the beakers of wolf cum, before giving her a flat look.

“And I’m sure that the wolves in Vvaderglahst need your help. Look, be straight with me please, I’ve had a long day and I’d like to get this dungeon over with and ((go to bed)). I can’t promise I won’t tell anyone you’re here, but I could be ‘convinced’ to keep quiet if you’re that worried about it.” No reason not to make more money, and I had a feeling I knew what they were doing here anyway.

She cringed a little, but seemed to decide it was worth the cost. “Alright, zeemz like you Championz ‘ave more in common with adventurerz than the ztoriez zuggest. We are diztilling the alchemical compound found in the wolvez zemen for uze in potionz. I am a Cum Alchemist.”

I blinked at her. That was not at all what I thought was going on. I thought that they were making drugs and testing them on the wolves, and maybe they’d been hired by the Demons or something. “Hold on, what? Why were all the wolves in the den corrupted then?”

“That'z what I ’ave been trying to figure out! Two weekz ago a zample we procezzed turned bad and wrecked a whole batch of material. I thought nothing of it at the time, I thought zomeone ‘ad juzt mezzed up. But then every zample from then on got worze and worze, until all we were ‘arvezting waz corrupted cum. We ‘ad to cloze all the trapz three dayz ago becauze all the wolvez we were catching were corrupted!” She hugged Wubby tighter.

“When we went for a look in the den, the Corrupt Wolves drove uz back. We only managed to find one other uncorrupted breeding pair to bring back with uz. Thank the Goddezz I got that Milestone earlier when…” She flushed slightly. “Ahem, well, let’s say we wouldn’t ‘ave made our quota if ‘e ‘adn’t taken a liking to me. You’re my ‘ero, yez you are Wubby, yez you are!” She scratched his jowls as she praised the wolf.

Wubby looked pleased as punch, licking Tunni’s face as she giggled. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “So, hold on, you guys are in this dank cave, doing a super shady operation harvesting wolf cum, for…?”

She glanced back at me. “People do not want to drink cum, yez? You can make large quantitiez of Power and Courage potionz with diztilled cum, but the citiez ‘ave laws against ‘the miztreatment of wildlife’ and ‘uzing animal zemen in productz’. Bah, nonzenze if you azk me, wolf zemen is perfectly fine for conzumption, why I-” She suddenly noticed the pool of cum that was seeping onto the floor from her bed.

“Baztard!” She stood up and was about to move toward her desk, before stopping herself and looking at me with a strained expression. “Can I gather thiz cum please! There iz a device in my dezk I need.” She pointed at a drawer on the alchemy desk. I reached over and pulled it open, and while keeping an eye on her, glanced inside.

“The flask with the wand on the end.” She stood on her tippy toes and pointed at a… well, a glass flask with a wand haphazardly attached to the top via ye olde duct tape. I frowned as I gingerly grabbed the makeshift device and hit it with a quick Examine before I handed it over to her.

I handed her the tool, watching closely as she crouched down and placed the tip of the wand in the puddle. The liquid shifted and roiled as it ran up the shaft and into the flask, like some kind of reverse cumshot. When the flask filled up with wolf juice, she turned towards me and held out the wand.

“Can you get me an empty beaker pleaze.” I snagged a beaker from the alchemy set and held it out. She dipped the wand into it and the beaker filled with Wubby’s genetic material. I was a little surprised it was still warm, it had been sitting on the floor for quite a while and I said as much.

“A Mileztone upgrade I ‘ave that keepz ‘arvezted ingredientz fresher for longer. My zpecialization iz part of why I waz chozen to lead thiz operation. Cum Alchemist itzelf iz eazy enough to get, but mozt Alchemistz don’t ‘ave the other Mileztonez to make it a viable job like I do.” She seemed excited to talk about her occupation, so I decided to keep her prattling and use the time while we gathered up Wubby’s cum gathering information on what Milestones being a Cum Alchemist required. So I could avoid them, of course.

“Well, first you need zomething that unlockz Cum Alchemist, obviouzly. There are a few different Mileztonez that give it, but the mozt normal one iz to zimply attempt to uze cum az an Alchemy ingredient multiple timez, but that chain doez not give much in the way of upgradez. If you are thinking about becoming a Cum Alchemist, there are better onez that give improvementz in different areaz.” She blushed a little. “My favourite iz Cum Drunkard, which you get by drinking a full glazz pint of cum. I would recommend it, it makez cum tazte amazing!”

She scoffed at the look I gave her as I held out another empty beaker. “Don’t look at me like that. I ‘ave to drink it to uze Taste Test anyway, and I’d rather it tazte good than awful. Not all of us innately enjoy the ztuff like you elvez do.”

“What do you mean elves innately enjoy cum? I… don’t.” I was going to fervently deny that I enjoyed cum in any way shape or form unless I was the one expelling it, but… No, nuh uh, not right now.

“Huh? I thought all elvez loved the ztuff? Though, my zample zize might be biazed zinc mozt of the onez I’ve met were ‘orez. Maybe you are different zince you are a Ch-Champion?” She gave me a look, but at my furrowed brow she swiftly changed the subject.

“Anyway, there are very few skill tomez to upgrade Cum Alchemist obviouzly, so we moztly rely on Mileztonez for big improvementz our Alchemy. There are the regular Alchemy Mileztonez of course, but we uze Cum Drunkard and Semen Sommelier to improve Taste Test for when we use it on cum. Silky Hands also ztackz improved yieldz if you ‘ave Harvesting Hands, though apparently Cum Canvas increasez ‘arvest amount more, but no one I know ‘az managed to get it. Apparently you need to be a ‘uge zlut to get it though, zo maybe thatz a good thing.” She laughed at her joke so she didn’t see the glare I shot her before I could wrangle my expression. I wasn’t a slut! I wasn’t even a girl! I just… ((keep it under control Alex)).

“Haah, not that I can talk, rather, I am zurprized I don’t ‘ave it. Regardless, there are only two more Mileztonez that I know of that directly improve Cum Alchemist, Dick Drainer and Specimen Allure. The former improves ingredient quality, the latter makes it easier to ‘arvest from zpecimenz becauze it makez them more docile.” She finished pouring the last batch into the beaker I was holding.

“Specimen Allure also unlocked the Mileztone that bonded Wubby to me, zo if you want a familiar it iz a good choice to go after.” I put the beaker on the desk with the others. “You know, I muzt azk, why are you interezted? Mozt people don’t appreciate me prattling on about Alchemy.”

“Well, I…” ((Eh, fuck it.)) This was probably my best chance to learn alchemy stuff. “I’m something of a Cum Alchemist myself, I got a Milestone that gave it to me. So I was hoping to learn some stuff about…” I trailed off as her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, all earlier apprehension and weariness forgotten.

“You ‘ave Cum Alchemist!? By Vvader’s Chin, I never thought I would meet a fellow patrician of the fine art of Cum Alchemy in a zhit’ole like thiz! Which- I mean, do you ‘ave any upgradez? Do you want to learn some recipez? I can’t believe I get to bring a new Alchemizt into the fold! We muzt start immediately! We can make the aphrodiziac neutralizer for your friend!” She snatched up my hands and started vibrating in excitement.

((I may have made a mistake.))

—xxxxxx—

After a flurry of barely comprehensible questions to determine my Alchemy aptitude, my actual Alchemy ability (apparently there was a difference) and buffs, which was zero, zero and none, she burst into a flurry of activity. Alchemical instruments were explained to me in quick succession as she poured and pipetted different liquids together, setting burners to bubble and grinding dried herbs to powder.

Surprisingly, I managed to keep up with her explanation and the tasks she gave me, though it was mostly mixing beakers and holding tools for her. Apparently the alchemy minigame was a lot more involved than I expected, she was adjusting several heat knobs, while filtering powder into one solution and occasionally stirring this or that beaker; all while keeping check on and resetting three different timers that were going off every 30 seconds or so.

It was impressive that I even managed to follow what she was doing if I’m honest, but the game was definitely helping me understand the equipment, movements, explanations and the alchemical processes that were happening. After half an hour of near constant talking and alchemical experimentation, I felt like I had a pretty okay understanding of how to do Alchemy. And it seemed the game agreed with me, because my Aptitude increased by 3.

We both leaned in to examine the final drops of solution pour into the end product flask, the physical/digital liquid manifestation of half an hour of hard work. Tunni snatched up the bottle as the final drop hit, plugging it with a cork stopper before presenting it to me with a beaming smile. “One aphrodiziac neutralizer, made to order.”

I gave it a quick examine before putting it in my inventory. “Thanks Tunni, I know we didn’t get off on the best foot, but I-” A loud knocking at the door interrupted my soliloquy to Tunni.

“Hey, Boss! I need a hand out here, it’s that adventurer we captured- look, I’m sorry if I’m interruptin’ but the others won’t listen to me!” The door opened to reveal Flat cap, who had pinched his nose in preparation, but was still taken aback by the room’s funk. “Aye fuck! I told ya tah turn on the extractor when you’re doin experiments and when you’re fuckin that thing Tunni! It's no wonder none’ve the other boys want to come in here; Demi’s Above woman!”

He went into a coughing fit that made me once again extremely grateful to Gardenia for this mask. Maybe I could look up what offerings she liked, there was probably a book about that in a library or something. “Oh gosh Jamez! I am zorry, I waz zo diztracted I completely forgot!”

Tunni hurried over to the doorway and fiddled with a dial of some kind, which made a humming sound start coming from somewhere in the ceiling. After several seconds of coughing and pats on the back from Tunni, James managed to get himself under control. “Goddess Tunni, I try Lass, but fuckin’ Hells you make it hard sometimes. Go put on your cleanest clothes and- SHIT.”

He snapped into guard mode as soon as I moved, summoning a short sword from his inventory and putting himself between me and Tunni. “Stay back adventurer, whatever you think is happening here, you’re wrong, and I can-”

“Oh ztop Jamez, I talked with ‘er already.” Tunni put her hand on his shoulder while I frowned. Did I really look that girly? This was like the fourth time for fucks sake! “She iz a Cum Alchemist, like me! Wait till the girlz back ‘ome ‘ear about thiz!”

James’ face twisted into a strange emotion, something kind of like pity with a touch of fear mixed in. “Well shit. This got a bit more complicated… but maybe a bit easier too. Look, both of you get changed so you don’t smell like a whorehouse, and come to the extraction room. I’ll go and tell everyone to stop searching for our guest.” He put his sword away and gave Tunni a meaningful look, before tromping back up the corridor.

This dungeon had already gone so far awry from whatever I’d planned to do earlier, I decided I’d just go with the flow. Worst-case scenario I got jumped by a bunch of goblins, but if that happened I think I’d just… ((find an inn and go to sleep))...?

I frowned at that thought. What- “Oh my, I didn’t realize before, but you are zoaked! Why are you ztill wearing thoze, I know it izn’t comfortable.” Tunni interrupted whatever I was thinking about. She was correct of course, but I’d been doing a good job ignoring it until James brought it up.

“I don’t have a spare outfit, and I don’t think any of your clothes would fit me.” She gave me a sympathetic look right before she started struggling out of her shirt.

“Well, I may not ‘ave clothez for you, you can try uzing the Puddle Soaker to clean yourzelf off. I ‘ave not ‘ad the eaziest time uzing it like that, but it’z better than nothing.” She got free of her shirt and bent over to look in a drawer, giving me the best view of her wiggling green ass and making my sore ((clit)) twitch in protest.

Swiftly looking away just incase I got hit with that bullshit arousal condition again, I grabbed the Puddle Soaker and got to work trying to get the mixture of mine and my mother’s cum out of my trousers.

This fucking game man.

—xxxxxx—

My trousers cleaned up okay, and with my scent suppression it would be pretty much unnoticeable unless you looked very closely. Thank the Goddess for dark colours. Tunni had wiped herself off with a wet cloth and put on a mismatched blouse skirt combo.

The tartan skirt was too small, squishing her prodigious green rear and threatening to ride up and expose her thong. At least the shirt fit properly, but the way she exclaimed when she found it made it sound like it was her cleanest one. I spotted at least three old cumstains on it; and I think I understand the pity in the look James gave me earlier.

Tunni said goodbye to Wubby and led me back out into the wider complex. There were a couple glances, but the couple goblins in the corridor studiously ignored the both of us, lest they incur the bespectacled gaze of business mode Tunni. Her body language had completely changed from before, all straight backed and head straight. She even read over a ‘preliminary report’ from a goblin who ran up gave her a clipboard.

It was surreal, watching this woman who I’d watched get her back blown out by a canid less than half an hour ago have such a commanding presence, but I guess that's just the nature of the beast.

((*Snrk*)).

…

The strange thought slipped from my grasp as the familiar sound of someone aggressively throating cock spilled out from the doorway ahead of us as a goblin exited the room. He closed the door behind him and turned, his blissful expression comically freezing when he came face to face with Tunni’s death glare.

“Pauly, do you mind telling me what iz going on in the extraction room?” Her voice was sweet as saccharin, and her smile was anything but friendly.

“Um- ah-well yo-you see- it- um- it was Lewis’s idea maam!” Pauly sounded like he was afraid for his life, sweat beading on his brow as Tunni scoffed and stalked past him through the door into the extraction room. I followed closely on her heels.

The sounds of sloppy toppy once again filled the air, and said toppy was happening between the bars of Mom’s cage, which had been bent to allow her face between them so she could suck goblin cock. She was squatting down wagging her ass back and forth, gobbling ((pretty impressively sized)) goblin cock like she needed it to live. The bars creaked as her heart shaped pupils rolled into the back of her head, tensed muscles flexing the already stressed bars as she came purely from sucking dick.

The mismatched phalanx of guard goblins watching took a step back, seemingly as scared as I was of what might happen should the cage be unable to hold her. On of them noticed Tunni and stood at attention, causing the rest of them to turn to see what was happening and also stand erect, ((making them match their cocks that also stood at attention uncomfortably beneath their trousers.))

The only two goblins not standing straight were James and presumably Lewis, who were having an argument and gesturing at each other, but that was quickly rectified by the sound of Tunni’s voice.

“What the FUCK iz going on ’ere?! When did I give anyone permizzion to ‘ave your cockz blown by the captive?! Iz thiz a ‘ore’ouze!?” She was pissed, understandably, but ((I couldn’t help feel it was a tiny bit hypocritical considering what she’d been doing earlier.)) I guess it was different if you were the boss.

While Tunni went on a tirade about professionalism in the workplace and how this was technically rape, I was very intently not thinking about how easily Mom could get out of that cage, and ((what she might do to me if she got out)). Seemingly the only one who was at ease in the current situation was the goblin currently getting blown, ((and given the hardcore suckjob he was getting, I didn’t really blame him)).

“What were we supposed tah do!?” I refocused. “She broke the fucking fleshlight and started bending the Demis damned bars! I made the call to give her something to vent her lust on, and thank the Goddess I did! It’s kept her calm so far but I don’t know how much Power she has and that cage is barely rated to hold wolves! It’s only holding her back right now because she’s distracted, and I don’t wanna be here when she gets bored of sucking dick!” Lewis stood his ground against his pissed off boss and made my fear((ousal)) try to bubble up even more.

“That doezn’t mean you can juzt- Aaargh! Couldn’t you ‘ave juzt gotten ‘er another fleshlight?”

“Do you want to open that fucking cage?” Tunni sighed while pinching her brow, and turned back to me, causing Lewis to pale a little when he realised I was there. “What do you think? I’m willing to ‘and down whatever punishment.”

“Um- well, shit. It’s not like I’m exactly fine with it, but, Cendenia’s Tits, look at the fucking bars Tunni. I don’t think he had a choice. Can we just get the anti-venom in her before the cage breaks please, and sort this out after.” Tunni sighed again, and Lewis shot me a look of relief as I pulled out the Aphrodisiac Neutraliser, but that was when I realised I had a problem.

“Sooo, do you have any spare darts or…?”

“She ‘az to drink it, it’ll dizzapate too fazt if you inject it in zmaller dozez.” She looked a bit embarrassed. “I couldn’t do much better on zuch short notice.” For fucks sake.

“Any ideas on how we’re going to get her to drink it then?” I looked around at the goblins, who all seemed to be either studying the floor or the ceiling. Tunni shook her head apologetically.

“I waz hoping she would be thirzty, but…”

“I don’t think she’s that thirsty anymore.” Lewis wilted at Tunni’s glare.

I sighed. ((I had an idea)), but I’d hoped someone else had a better one.

“Fuck it.” Might as well get it over with. I stalked over to the cage, keeping out of Mom’s sightline and sidling up behind the goblin who was currently getting his soul sucked out. I whispered to him while I prepared the potion. “Tell me when you're about to cum.”.

“Ahh, um-” The goblin swallowed. “What- holy shit- um- what’s happening?” Mom’s tongue was tickling his balls as she took him to the root. ((Goddess I-)) Don’t get fucking distracted Alex.

“Hold it in dude, I need you to pull right back and get her to hold her mouth open to catch your cum. Can you do that for me?” Getting her mouth open was going to be the trickiest bit, and giving her a cumshot seemed like the best bet in a shitty hand.

“I can try lass but- hoooh! She’s try’na suck me nads out through me pipe!” Her ministrations got even more intense, ((and I-)) kept focused on the task at hand, because no matter how divine it looked, it was still my Mom blowing a goblin. ((Just like that one video of her-)) Focus Alex!

—xxxxxx—

It was with great difficulty and effort that I, for however long I was crouched there, ignored: my aching ((clit)), my thoughts that seemed to want to run off fantasising about certain videos I may or may not have seen, the size and girth of the goblin cock as my Mom worked her throat up and down his pole, the embarrassment I was feeling, and the notification on the edge of my vision.

I felt like I did a pretty good job all things considered, and I was ready when the goblin tensed and let out a noise to signal he was releasing his man juice imminently. I had to legitimately pull his hips backwards to get him out of her mouth, as she increased her vacuum power to make sure she didn’t miss a drop of goblin semen.

The pop as he was finally freed from the succubitic clutches of Mom’s lips was like a gunshot, echoing throughout the cave. Mom fucking growled like a dog when her bone was pulled away from her, the bars creaking ominously. Luckily, her tune quickly changed when the first rope of splooge glanced off her cheek, and she whimpered while opening her mouth as wide as she could and leaned back to catch the salty missiles.

Now was my chance! I stuck the potion through the bars and tipped it into her mouth. It worked better than I could have hoped, she didn’t notice the solution mixing in with the semen she was desperate for, and after a few more seconds she’d have it all in her mouth.

Actually, why hadn’t she swa-

I felt a steel grip close around my wrist. I’d been so focused on the task I hadn’t paid attention to Mom’s hands, one of which was now holding me firmly in place. She slowly raised herself up, head still tilted back to catch the last few drops of Aphrodisiac Neutraliser that dripped from the bottle.

She used her free hand to wipe up all the cum that had missed her mouth, carefully scraping it off with her tongue so it mixed in with the concoction already inside, before carefully closing her lips and tilting her head down to stare at me.

I was frozen, not even daring to think, lest any form of movement make her do something drastic. Staring into the glowing hearts in her eyes was like staring at the eyes of a predator, but not an animalistic one. One with a feral cunning present in its eyes, and one for which I was prey who had fallen into its trap.

The goblin next to me scuttled away as his post-nut clarity kicked in and he recognised the unfolding situation, seconds ahead of everyone else being alerted by a terrible rending sound as Mom pushed out the already buckled cage bar. I prayed the gap would be too small for her to manoeuvre through, but the dreadful clack of her heel as she put one leg through and squeezed her ass out of the cage silenced my thoughts.

There must have been some way out of this situation! I kicked back into gear, panic setting in as I tried and failed to escape from her iron grip. Her commanding gaze drilled into me, like she knew I couldn’t escape and was just waiting for me to realise it as well.

She snorted when I stopped struggling, finally accepting that she had me dead to rights and could do anything she liked with my body. It is an exceptionally weird feeling, accepting that you’re about to get raped by your own Mom, even if it was only in a video game and she wasn’t necessarily in control of her actions.

((It making you hard-)) was something that was not happening, I did NOT have a Mommy fetish! And I didn’t want her to rape me!

((Yeah, because normal people without a Mommy fetish get hard when their 7 foot futanari Mom is going to do whatever she wants with their body.)) What the fuck, where is this coming from? What is-

My internal bickering was cut short as I was yanked into the air by my arm, Mom bringing me eye level with her. I squeaked as she grabbed my face, pinching my cheeks to open my mouth, before bringing her lips to mine. She pushed her tongue in and worked my teeth apart with the superior strength of her oral muscle, and started pushing the mix of goblin cum and potion into my mouth.

I was so shocked I almost swallowed, but the ((pleasantly)) sharp taste of goblin cum stopped me. ((Totally not so I could swirl it around and taste it more)), just- um- whatever, fuck you, I don’t have to justify myself to myself!

After being on the receiving end for a couple of seconds, I managed to rub two brain cells together, ((two that weren’t busy appreciating the taste of goblin cum)), and formulate a plan. A flimsy one, but a plan nonetheless. All I had to do was push the tasty mixture back into her mouth and get her to swallow. Hopefully it would act fast enough that the aphrodisiac was removed before… ((don’t just trail off, before wh-)) Shut up me. It’ll work.

So began a fierce battle of tongues as I made out with Mom, not my proudest moment, nor the best plan I’d ever come up with, but all that makeout practice at Gymnastics Camp was paying off. Actually, did this count as my first kiss? The absurd thought broke my concentration for a second.

It doesn't, right? She’s my Mom, it doesn’t count when you kiss your Mom. ((Umm, I’m pretty sure my first kiss was a couple hours ago with Ludmilla’s cockhead.)) No, don’t be stupid, that doesn’t count, that wasn’t on the lips. ((I wonder if Mom can taste Ludmilla?)) Wait, I’m losing. I need to focus.

Mom had taken advantage of my distraction and had moved her hand from my cheeks to the back of my head, and pinned my tongue down with hers. It was looking poorly for me, but I wasn’t about to throw in the towel. ((Infact, this was a better position than it looked like, I just had to be fast when I made my move.))

Mom was basking in her victory, wiggling her tongue against mine as a taunt. This was a personal failing of hers, awkwardly proving that this wasn’t simply the game taking total control of her actions and that it was ultimately still her directing her avatar’s actions, even if she had no say in them. And, as it had many times before, her premature celebration would be her downfall.

((Since I didn’t have a gag reflex)), I could hold way more liquid in my throat without being forced to swallow it. I wrapped my legs around her midsection, ((totally not sexually though-)) shut up- and she released my arm since she no longer needed to hold me up. This almost ended in disaster when she grabbed my ass in ownership, her fingers sinking in almost made me swallow as the pleasure shot through me and she started kissing me more aggressively.

But I held on, weathering Mom’s assault as her tongue twisted and danced with mine inside my mouth. When I felt her erect cock sliding on the outside of my trousers, I knew I had to make my move soon, because it felt too good. If I lost this and got raped because I came from hotdogging my Mom’s cock, I might kill myself in real life.

Luckily an opportunity presented itself, as Mom, assured in her dominance of me, pulled her head back to end our kiss. I struck quickly, surging forward and locking my lips with hers. My hands struck in tandem, closing her nose with my fingers and jabbing her in the throat, while I spit up all the liquid back into her mouth.

It was pretty masterfully timed if I do say so myself, the liquid filling her mouth right as she reflexively swallowed. She batted away the hand that was holding her nose, but the damage was already done, and the liquid in her stomach.

I unlaced my legs and I fell backwards since she was no longer holding onto my head, doing a backwards tumble to release her grip on my ass and get into a better position to run away should she come after me. I kept myself light on my feet and ready to bolt, keeping my eyes firmly on Mom to see what she was going to do.

She stood there, less imposing than before, eyes wide as she looked at me. They still had hearts in them, but the dominance from before had been replaced by meekness and confusion, like she couldn’t believe she’d lost our little makeout contest. ((Yeah, lookout world, Alabama Makeout Champion coming through!)) Shut the fuck up, what even is this? Where are these thoughts co-

The blast of cum that hit my mouth took me totally by surprise.

“Nghoooooo!” Mom had fallen to her knees, eyes rolled into the back of her head again as she had an explosive orgasm, almost soaking me in cum again. If I hadn’t dodged away on instinct I would’ve been covered in the ((tasty)) liquid.

I dashed over to the phalanx of stunned goblins, diving over their heads and taking shelter behind them. I’d done my part while they just fucking stood there and watched me make out with my Mom, so they could do their jobs and be a meatshield incase she had a final burst of lust to vent.

“Holy shit that waz hot.” I cringed a little as I turned towards Tunni, who was looking at me with wide eyes that were only magnified by her glasses. “You ‘andled ‘er zo well! I thought for zure it waz over! But then you worked your azz on ‘er cock to diztract ‘er, and then that reverzal! Wow!”

I didn’t swing my hips, did I? I thought that was Mom- Wait. Oh. Fuck.

The realisation hit me like a truck.

I’d just given the whole goblin platoon a peepshow where it looked like I’d jerked off my Mom with my ass while I made out with her! Oh Goddess, they probably thought I was some kind of pervert- a sick freak who likes getting watched by people- they probably know I liked it when Mom grabbed my ass and-

((Whoa whoa whoa, calm down Alex, you’re spiralling. Deep. Breaths. They don’t know she’s your Mom. They probably think you used some kind of hidden technique or something like Tunni did. And this room isn’t that well lit, I doubt they could see that much anyway.)) Okay. Okay, calm… but what if- ((C’mon Alex, they’re a bunch of goblins jerking off wolves in a cave, you can’t take their opinion that seriously. Tunni even thought it was hot, so just, I dunno, focus on her.))

“Are you okay Lex?” ((Speak of the devil.)) Tunni had grabbed my hand and was giving me a concerned look. “You are shaking.”

I took a few deep breaths, and tried to get myself under control. ((Maybe it would be a good idea to lean on Tunni a little Alex, she wants to help. Maybe give her a hug or something, I bet she's pleasantly squishy.)) “I’ve- um- n-never done anything like that in front of so many people b-before.” I didn’t need to add anything to my voice or expression, it was embarrassing enough to be confiding in an NPC like this, but, desperate times and all that.

Tunni, for her part, just smiled knowingly and moved closer to me. “I know ‘ow you feel, I felt it myzelf after my firzt few showz at the Dragon’s Hoard. I waz zo terrified people would find out ‘o I waz, or they would think I waz zome kind of pervert becauze I enjoyed myzelf zo much.” She moved in closer and squished herself against me in a hug. “You did well, you ‘elped your friend, which iz more than the rezt of theze oafz can zay.” A couple of the guards closest to us tensed up, probably in embarrassment.

Her hug felt nice in more than just a physical way. It was like a steam valve in my head slowly let out, easing off the mental pressure I hadn't even realised I was under. I understood that while Tunni wasn’t exactly on the right wavelength, her earnestness resonated close enough to what I was feeling that just knowing that she'd been through something similar helped me remind myself I didn't have to be alone with my troubles, which got my spiralling mental state back under control. And yeah, ((I was right)), her being pleasantly squishy helped too.

“I-I’m okay now, thanks Tunni.” I gave her a quick squeeze back, because it felt like the appropriate thing, and she released me from her hug. “How long do you think that potion is going to take?” I wasn’t too worried, but this whole moment we’d had would be pretty undercut if Mom was still trying to rape everyone.

“It should have taken ‘old fairly quickly, she’ll juzt need zome time for ‘er brain to readjuzt to not being flooded with chemicalz.” We both peeked through the wall of goblins, who looked a lot less tense than before, ((but were still stiff in certain areas)).

Mom hadn’t moved at all, she was still on her knees, but more importantly her cock wasn’t hard anymore and her eyes had lost their glow. Or, at least, I think they had? They might have just been closed. Since we weren’t in imminent threat of rape hiding behind the goblins felt a little silly, so I straightened out to my full height along with Tunni.

“Alright boyz, thank you for your ‘elp, I am zure we all enjoyed the lovely show our gueztz graced uz with, but you all ‘ave jobz to do. Jumbo and… Doobin, you two come with uz. Jamez, you go fetch zomeone to gather up that zpilled product.” She clapped her hands and everyone sprung into action, with all the enthusiasm of a horny teenager who didn’t want to do his chores and just wanted to spend his precious weekend jerking off. ((Not that I would know anything about that.))

I followed Tunni and her ‘muscle’ as we cautiously approached Mom’s kneeling form, making sure to keep the others firmly between me and her. She looked like she was out cold… but she’d tricked me before with the whole cage thing, so she’d have to forgive me if I didn’t trust her.

Her breathing had cooled off and I could see she was covered in a light sheen of sweat. ((Damn, she’s a shower not a grower too! How did she hide that thing in her tiny armour?)) Actually, now that I think about it, where did her bottoms go? I hadn’t seen her remove them… if she’d destroyed them to get them off, it was gonna be a really awkward trip back to town.

Tunni cast the same Spell she used earlier when she confirmed I was a Champion, and nodded while reading whatever information it gave her. “Mmmhmm, the potion worked, but she will be out for a while yet.” The final bit of tension that still held a pall over everyone still in the room dissipated.

“Alright boyz, letz get ‘er zomewhere more comfortable.” Jumbo and Doobin groaned, but they got themselves under each of her arms. They managed to drag her about three steps before Mom started slipping out of their grip, and she ended up splayed out face down on the floor. The two of them looked guiltily at Tunni and me.

Tunni cringed. “We might need a cart.”

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

Mom was one heavy bitch, that was for sure. It took all of us to get her into the small handcart, and she almost didn’t fit in the damned thing. Her legs trailed on the ground out the back, and it took both Tunni and I pushing the back of the cart to get it to start moving. It still creaked ominously every time the cart went into a small dip in the uneven floor.

I was relegated to holding up Mom’s legs so her heels didn’t scrape unpleasantly along the stone floor. It was slow going enough that I found my concentration drifting to things that I earlier didn’t want to think about, but now didn’t feel heavy after all that had happened. Since Tunni was busy with reports and unlikely to interrupt me, I decided to delve into my own head for a bit.

Starting with you!

…

…

…((What are we waiting for?)) You, fucker! What is this, what’s going on? Where is this voice coming from? ((Brother, I don’t know what your talking about, I’m you, these are your thoughts.)) No they’re fucking not, You just said WE. ((Well, I mean, um… Huh. When did that start happening? Oh shit, did I finally crack? Am I a skitzo now??? Did I develop multiple personality disorder from this shitty fucking game!?))

Whoa whoa whoa, I don’t think it’s something so drastic. ((But, like, what is it then!?)) Maybe I should check my notifications. ((Yeah, okay, that sounds like a good idea.))

((Oh, that’s nice, Tunni is friends with us.)) I feel like that’s the best thing I’ve gotten out of this whole dungeon. Do you think she has Professional Polework as well? ((Oh, totally, you heard James, she’s done animal shows, the kinky little slut. You’re taking this Milestone a lot better than the last couple like this btw.)) Well there’s not much I can do about it right now, and I have ones that are way worse than that one. ((It’s just nice that you’re not repressing more shit, it’s really not healthy.))

What’s up with this dev comment on Two Track Mind you reckon? ((That it’s a half-baked piece of shit Milestone, that was only half implemented because this retard dev slapdash coded a Milestone to call out this Dess VI and forgot to go back and remove it. So same as you.)) Yeah, sounds about what I was thinking. So what does that make you?

((Something sorta like… the multi-mindrunner from Netcity Ultra Triad.)) So another personality.

((No, not exactly. I’m not really another personality, though I’m definitely you, your thought process, running in tandem. But instead of the game using the chair’s hardware to simulate another brain and syncing it with your thoughts to double your focus, it’s putting the process on your unconscious somehow, and boosting it with something else... I'm not quite sure what. It's creating a thought process that’s different from your regular conscious thoughts though.))

And that’s not a different personality because…?

((Because, well, think of me like I'm your Shadow.)) My Shadow. ((You know, The Shadow. The “You’re not me!” cue boss fight kind of Shadow.)) The Jungian kind. ((Sort of. You get it.))

…Maybe I really have cracked. ((Oh I’d know it if you cracked buddy, and vice versa.))

So I should just think of it like another thought channel, ((Sorta)), one that is basically just me, ((Yeah, but, just is you)), just is me, okay. And you're different from a multiplied personality because your based on my unconscious mind? ((Basically we have the same memories, so none of that memory meld shit you have to do in Netcity.))

Okay that seems pretty nice. ((And I'll be able to talk to you about thoughts you wouldn't regularly entertain, because I'm all your deepest darkest fears about yourself plus some other stuff.)) Okay that seems a little bit concerning. ((I wouldn't worry about it.))

How did you come to this conclusion? ((This conversation is us processing the information the Milestone has put directly into your subconscious, plus some speculation and guesswork. It's only going this fast because you have two 'brains' focusing on it.)) Cool. Seems pretty busted for a common Milestone though. ((Yeah, I doubt it’s supposed to work like this.)) I wonder if it has something to do with the GS System crash earlier? ((Hmm… could be. I can have a look around the ol’ noggin later and see if there’s any loose bits.)) I’ll hit the forums later too I guess. Maybe I can message Bard about it.

Plan in place, I moved on to the final notification about Mom’s cum.

Actually, let’s not. ((Oh, c’mon, don’t be such a prude.)) I am not having this conversation right now, I don’t care if it’s with myself. ((Oh don’t be such a baby, it’s just a video game. Besides, we’re into a Big, Tall, Strong woman who can force me down and make me taste her big hard cock now. Goddess, just look at that thing.))

My eyes flickered to Mom’s crotch, and the flaccid cock hanging from it. ((Maybe she’ll let me harvest materials later.)) You’re the one behind all these sexual thoughts and stuff, aren’t you. ((Alex, you seem to have forgotten, I’m YOU. I’m only expressing your deepest feelings, even ones that you don’t want to feel.)) I just- can we do this when we’re alone? ((Fine.))

I spent the rest of the slow trip intentionally looking at the ceiling counting the stalactites so I didn't have to think about the implications of what I’d just told myself.

—xxxxxx—

After an extremely awkward lift into Tunni’s bed that involved the help of six goblins palanquin lifting her, I took a minute to myself while I waited for my hostess to arrive. She’d been called away by James to look at something or other at some point during transport, so it was just me, my comatose Mom, and Wubby in the office/bedroom.

The humming sound of the extractor fan was a pleasant white noise, and helped distract me for a little while. But not long enough. ((Alright, the white noise is nice but now you’re just stalling. Time to pay the piper.)) We’re not alone though! ((Okay, Mom is comatose and the dog doesn’t count.))

Fine, you wanna talk! You wanna start by explaining why you’ve been trying to get me to stare at every dick I’ve seen? ((Well, first of all, we talked about this already and you know why.)) I am not gay! ((I have relationships with women, and sex with men.)) Fuck you. ((You’d like that wouldn’t you, little gay boi.)) Shut up! Take this seriously! ((Fine, fine, I’ll stop. You don’t have to have a crisis about it though, you’re not a homo. It’s not like you just go around sucking random dicks.))

…

((Okay maybe that was a bad example-)) Was that you as well!? ((Once again, you can’t just scapegoat your issues onto your subconscious, but that one was extenuating circumstances. It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy it though.)) That’s the problem! What does that mean!?

I could feel myself slipping again. ((Alex, calm yourself. As a representative of your subconscious I can with 100% certainty say that you like, and want to have sex with, women.)) Okay… Okay. ((But you should also be aware that there are some extremely repressed feelings in a box labelled ‘Gay Thoughts’, in between ‘Perverted Desires’ and ‘Hidden Jerk Off Material’.))

And this is supposed to help me how?! ((In my professional opinion, such as it is, you should probably let them out. Just a little at a time! We know what happens when you let off the leash. But you need to let the pressure off a bit.))

Can’t I just hug Tunni again? ((It worked that time, but you can’t solve all your issues by hugging squishy goblin girls. No matter how fun it is.)) What about hugging Mom? ((Alex, I think that’s just gonna make it worse.))

That’s- she’s my Mom! Why would it make it worse?! What are you implying! ((I'm implying that you find her attractive, and there's a big box down here-)) You leave that box alone you- ((Alex it is normal to want to have sex with attractive women.)) What- That’s- it’s not normal when she's my MOM! ((Of course it’s normal, she’s hot! You know she dresses like that to make boys pop boners because she enjoys it.)) By the Goddess, can we not talk about Mom like she’s some kind of slutty exhibitionist please. ((You know that’s exactly what she is, I’ve got the vi-)) Those memories are in that box for a reason.

((And we can either either have a talk about it with yourself now and ease the pressure off; talk about it with a therapist later i.e never; or you can bottle your emotions up and up and up until you can’t take it anymore and you wreck your relationship with your mother because you can’t accept who she is.)) That’s- I wouldn’t-

((We know the stories! It took Grandma and Mom years to repair their relationship, and even now Grandma’s still a bitch about it! And it almost happened again with the Valkyria stuff! Do you want to end up like Grandma?))

No… ((Then listen to me, go with the flow a little more, un-repress some of this stuff and act on it. We've seen the videos, you know how much Mom would love sucking dick together wi-)) Okay! Slow down, that’s a little-

((Sorry, sorry, too much, yeah, we’ll work up to it. Just… don’t be so hard on yourself. Okay? Trust me, it’ll pressure cook until we can’t handle it anymore, and it explodes. Like in that one pressure cooker video with the fat dude.)) A giggle rippled up involuntarily as I remembered the speech the guy gave before he was launched into the river by the exploding device.

Alright, I can’t say I’m 100% convinced… ((But…)) But I can admit to myself that making out with Mom was super hot. ((Hey, baby steps! This place is looking tidier already!)) I do feel a little bit better actually. ((See! Now, to put a nice bow on this, I’m gonna see if I can sleep, and find out how that affects our rested status. I bet I can break it.)) Alright. Thanks me, I suppose you’ll know if I need help again.

I settled into the too small for me desk chair, and started examining Tunni’s room again to pass the time

—xxxxxx—

I actually felt a tonne better after my little self therapy session, and being mentally stable for the first time in what felt like ages really improved my mood. So when Tunni came back and started performing more alchemy, I put a bit more enthusiasm into actually learning how to do it.

I think before, I’d been playing as though I was going to start a new character, still interested in the mechanics, but not putting much thought into how to actually apply them. Now, I was thinking I’d commit to playing with this character, horny MIlestones and all. Come what may, I was going to have a good time. For Mom. And for me.

Plus this dual thought track thing was absolutely busted and I was so gonna ride that shit.

Fuck, it was going to be awkward explaining what had happened to her though. “How long do you think this potion will keep her on her feet for?” Tunni lifted her goggled face from the bubbling solution she was looking at, and shrugged at me.

“It’z a little zlap dash, zo no more than two hourz, probably lezz. She’ll need actual zleep, preferably in a bed that fitz ‘er.” She frowned at Mom’s feet, which were again dangling on the floor as she lay on another piece of too small furniture. One of the downsides of being huge I guess.

“That should be enough to get us back to the inn at least. What time is it anyway?” I had completely lost track of time down here in this half lit cave. And I still wasn’t sure what the time factor was in this game. It must have been pretty close to real time though.

“Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a timepiece! There iz thiz one shop in Vvaderglahzt that makez the mozt beautiful onez you’ve ever zeen. Zo expenzive though. Maybe with the money from thiz job, I’ll treat myzelf to one of the cheaper onez.” I helped pull off her thick leather gloves, and she mine, and then she pulled off her goggles.

“Maybe I should go outside and have a look. We’ll have to wait for this to boil for a while right?” I didn’t have much Alchemy proficiency, but I had a vague sense that the potion needed time over the burner to… reduce maybe? The knowledge didn’t extend that far, it wasn’t anything close to the Summoning knowledge I had.

“Yez, we don’t need to babyzit it though, thiz potion izn’t that volatile. I waz going to azk for your ‘elp with zomething actually, if you don’t mind that iz.” She seemed a little remorseful to be asking for my help, like she was worried that she didn’t deserve it after all that had happened.

“Don’t worry about it Tunni, it’s what I’m here to do. Literally. I’m here to help with whatever random bullshit quests you can throw at me.” She giggled, and went over to Wubby’s cage to release him, before opening up a cupboard and pulling out a bandolier of vials.

“I appreciate your candid nature Lex, and I muzt zay again that you are not at all like the legendz dezcribe Championz to be.” There was a tension in her expression when she talked about those legends.

“What I want iz to determine the zource of the corruption in the Den. I am worried that if we do not at leazt try to do zomething about it, it will affect the zurrounding area.” She tightened her bandolier and pulled on a leather bomber cap that was modified for her big pointed ears.

“I am not much of a combatant, but I did take ‘Zneaking, Darknezz, and You’ at univerzity and Jamez taught me 'ow to throw bottlez properly, zo I won’t get in your way.” Her final piece of equipment was a big padded gambeson with a metal collar. “If we can ztop whatever iz ‘appening, we should try. If not, we’ll juzt get zome more information to give to the Lewfring authoritiez.”

She struggled to pull the belt that held the front of the coat closed together, and when she finally did, she let out a little wheeze. “Oof, I think my titz may ‘ave grown zince I lazy wore thiz. I’ll ‘ave to cut back on the zweetz.” She did a pose to show off her outfit and I couldn’t help but think of marshmallows as the belt slid down, so it was pushing up her tits instead of restraining them.

“Umm… Do you have any, ah… Divine or Holy damage items? Maybe something to stop demons?” I couldn’t see her expression behind her high collar, but she tilted her head to the side cutely.

“Why? Do you think thiz ‘az zomething to do with demonz? Why?” I showed her the quest text on Demonic Penetration and she wiggled her arms in excitement. “Wow! A quezt from ‘ortunia ‘erzelf! You continue to amaze Lex. We’ll ‘ave to talk to Thomaz to zee if ‘e ‘az anything, but I don’t know if thiz ‘az anything to do with demonz. There are other kindz of corruption it could be, like Bramble or Metallic. They both ‘ave the aggrezzion as an early zymptom.”

“I think it’ll be Demons. Just, call it a hunch.” Tunni obviously didn’t understand how video games worked, the poor thing. She shrugged, and I checked on Mom one last time before we left.

Still couldn’t tell how long she was gonna be out for. Probably because my intelligence was too low.

…

Maybe I should’ve played Mindthief.

—xxxxxx—

Thomas the Quartermaster was the elevator goblin in the hat I’d snuck past earlier. We’d picked up some miscellaneous gear and a couple weird nail/stake thingies, and I had a bit of a chat with him while Tunni went to give orders and tell James what she was doing. A short while and one argument with James later, we were on our way up the hidden passage that led into the den.

I wasn’t surprised I’d missed the hidden exit the first time through, it was well hidden inside a nook that I had to squeeze to get out of. I went into full business mode, keeping an eye on the darkness for movement. It didn’t matter that we’d cleared this place earlier, I didn’t know how far we’d gotten, and this exit could have put us anywhere.

“We’re clear, but keep quiet. I can’t see very far and this room is pretty big.” I whispered back to Tunni, who was emerging from the nook. She was pretty quiet all things considered; louder than me, but with the amount of glass bottles she was carrying it was impressive none of them clinked together. She turned around and helped Wubby out of the nook, before whispering something to him and scratching him behind the ear.

The Wolf was deadly silent as he padded forward, surprising me with how quiet he was. I’d thought for sure the wolf would be the weakest link of our impromptu party, with how he’d ignored Tunni’s orders earlier, but she had better control over him than I thought she would. Shows me for underestimating a friend I guess.

Wubby sniffed about for a couple seconds, before shivering and putting his tail between his legs. “Zomething ‘az ‘im frightened.” Tunni didn’t sound much more confident than her companion, sounding like she slightly regretted coming up here.

“Stick to Wubby, I’m going to turn on the lamp.” She nodded and shifted over to her familiar. I kept it at a dim glow to give our night vision something to work off of, and moved forward into the room. We were cautious as we advanced, I kept a harsh ear out for any and all sounds that weren’t being made by us, while Wubby kept sniffing for threats.

…

I found an exit to the cavern we were in, but I had to stop when I felt something strange on the floor. The foot wraps I was wearing instead of shoes were mostly up to the task of stopping my feet from getting hurt, but a particularly strange divet in the stone had almost cut my foot as I slid it over the floor. I checked the ground more closely.

There were a few unnatural gouges in the floor, and they didn’t look much like the scratches from wolves I’d seen. It clicked when I saw a small triangular hole punched into the stone near the strange gouges. I never thought I’d say this, but thank the Goddess Mom was wearing heels.

“I think I’ve been here before.” I whispered to Tunni after calling her over. She looked over the evidence I pointed out, and I felt safe turning the lamp up a little so we could see better.

“You made it thiz far? With juzt the two of you?” I couldn’t see her face, but no doubt she was giving me that look again, her voice halfway between awe and fear.

“I thought you said you hadn’t mapped this place?”

“We ‘aven’t. Our contracted stone maguz juzt put the trapz and connectionz in the eaziezt placez ‘e found. But goblinz ‘ave a zenze for theze thingz, we are quite deep.” I felt like there was a story and lore there, but now wasn’t the time. We cut the chatter and re-oriented ourselves and started heading the correct direction, back through the cave we’d come from.

There were a few more stops to check we were going the right way, but were only cursory as I was far more confident we were going in the correct direction. This place had been basically a straight line downwards with a few dead end branches.

What was a little more confusing was why nothing had respawned yet? If there was no instancing, and the timer for respawns was this long, how was anyone else supposed to do this bounty? Whatever, shitty game design was on my side for once, because it made escorting Tunni a cakewalk.

With the extra speed the confidence that everything was still dead gave me, it wasn’t long before we made it to the trap I’d fallen into. Tunni wanted to do a thorough check of the trap, but I didn’t trust the fucking thing, so we compromised. I planted myself firmly in the entrance to the crevice, while Tunni went inside with the lamp.

“Hmm… You zaid there waz a chezt?”

“Yeah, at the back, next to the bloodstain there.” Tunni raised the lamp and looked around.

“I do not zee a chezt, but I alzo do not zee our meat container either? And the mechanizm iz gone too.” I couldn’t see past her huge coat, but that sounded strange. Who would have moved an empty chest? Maybe it disappeared like the [Corrupted Wolves] had.

“It’z annoying too, that machanizm waz expenzive! Whoever ztole it owez me zome mennetz.” Tunni sounded pretty pissed, but didn’t raise her voice beyond the low tone we’d been using. She made it out of the trap without it activating, which had been my main worry, and we continued into uncharted territory.

I re-enforced a slower pace, because it was likely there were more enemies in the following chambers. Maybe even the boss; whatever needed a Direwolf dose of aphrodisiac would be at least as strong as Mom, probably stronger, so I needed the element of surprise if I wanted even a remote chance of taking it out.

It was lucky I was moving so slowly, because I almost missed the tripwire. Well, I say almost, but it was about a metre away from my face when I saw it. The matte black thread might’ve gotten me if we had the light at full blast, but in the dim glow we’d returned the lamp to, the matte black stood out against the softer darkness when I moved my head.

“You didn't put in any tripwire traps, did you.” It was a statement of fact, not a question. Tunni looked even more afraid now than she did earlier. Wubby didn’t look much better, in fact, he looked worse.

“N-no, Lex, I think zomething iz terribly wrong with thiz place. Wubby can zmell it, and I can feel it and ‘iz fear through our bond. It iz zcaring me too.” She spoke in a small voice, and I made an executive decision.

I crouched down to eye level with her and moved close. “Okay, I want you to give me any explosive vials you have, and put some poison on my blades.” I pulled out the two Unknown Metal blades I’d gotten from the Quartermaster. They were little more than leather wrapped footlong shards of some kind of metal, with a single sharpened edge and a wicked point.

A lot of the goblin’s gear seemed to be repurposed from other stuff, the only one who seemed to have tailor made stuff was Tunni. I’d asked Thomas about it, and he said it was a Milestone he’d earned for being poor and resourceful. And then he’d threatened me with that resourcefulness if Tunni didn’t make it back.

She did as I asked, shakily smearing poison on my blades, before handing me a small vial that was warm to the touch.

“Th-thiz iz v-volatile, zo don’t go sh-shaking it around. I-I wouldn’t even give it to you if you w-weren’t an Alchemist, and even then, I-I can't give you m-more than one. They m-might ex-explode in y-your inventory otherwize. It will explode on im-impact, z-zo make zure you aren’t near in when it goez off.” I closed my hand firmly around the vial and nodded.

“If you hear this go off, get on Wubby and ride back to the lab.”

“Lex, I will not abandon a friend in need! We don’t know-”

I held up a hand to cut her off. “That’s why I’m going in there alone. This is a reconnaissance mission, remember?”

“Then why do you-”

“Always plan for the worst. I might’ve only been here for a day and a bit, but I have a lot of experience with this kind of stuff in other- um- let’s just say I have experience. If I’m forced to use this then something has gone wrong, and if one of us has to die, it should be me. Because I can come back.” I didn’t know how NPC death worked in this game, but they usually lost memories and player allegiances when they respawned. And I liked having Tunni as a friend.

Her face still twisted in worry and fear. “Lex you should not ‘ave to die for me. Let’z juzt ‘ead back, and we can warn the Lewfring guard about thiz place.” It was honestly a little touching that she cared so much, but I’d died to worse monsters than whatever would be in there.

“Who do you think the guard is gonna send when we report this Tunni.” I raised my eyebrow and gestured to myself. “I’d rather we get as much info on this as I can, and maybe even try to stop whatever’s happening so some other Champion doesn’t have to do it.” Also I wanted the rewards but I wasn’t going to tell her that.

Her shoulders slumped. “Juzt, be careful. I’ll wait ‘ere. If that goez off, I’m coming to ‘elp you though!” I gave her a thumbs up as I turned to navigate the cave, making sure there were no more trip wires.

The fact that that tripwire was at head height meant there was an intelligent force behind whatever was happening in this cave, and whatever Bramble and Metallic were, they didn’t sound as intelligent as Demons.

((So it was that death against that one Necromancer you were thinking of earlier right.)) I was about to wake you up, and please don’t bring up any more repressed memories. ((Yeah, maybe that one should stay repressed. What kind of asshole puts that in a game? Ooo, it worked! Suck it gamedevs, fix your shitty game.))

Focus up, I can hear breathing.

—xxxxxx—

I crouched against the wall and peeked into the softly glowing cave. There were mushrooms growing in and amongst the stalactites and stalagmites that crowded the ceiling and the edges of the room. The air was heavy with moisture, and something else that I couldn’t place, but it was definitely evil.

The main attraction was, of course, the giant fuck off wolf sleeping the centre of the room. It was at least twice as big as Wubby, and 1000 times less friendly. Even in its sleep it looked pissed off, like it was angry at the fact that it had to sleep. A fact I was grateful for, because fuck fighting that by myself. It could probably bite me in half without breaking a sweat.

I honed in my senses, activated [Kage Mantle], and started moving. It was a lot easier to not accidentally skip a stone or trip on an elevation change when you had two thought tracks to focus on a task, which made getting to the other side of the wolf almost trivially easy.

Well, it still took a while and there were about three different times when my heart almost leaped out of my chest when the canid snorted in his sleep or shifted his body, but that was par for the course on this kind of stuff. I’d made it to the other side of the room, and to ostensibly my objective, so what was a heart attack or three?

I was standing in front of a very obviously demonic circle, drawn in blood obviously, with a wolf skull and several unlit candles arrayed at important points around it. But more concerning than all the demon shit was the warbling fabric of reality above it.

((Fuck, that doesn’t look good.)) At least we don't have to fight waves of demons. Now let’s just pray I can get these nails set up without waking our wolf friend. ((Cool, I’ll start.))

I pulled out the Stabiliser Nails Thomas had given me. When I’d asked for something to stop possible Demonic incursion and corruption, he’d looked at me like I was cracked in the head. That didn’t change when Tunni asked him too, but he’d disappeared and come back with a bunch of nails, a weird paper wrapped piton looking thing, and a hammer.

Apparently these were what was used to temporarily stabilise an area while travelling through The Shift, whatever that was. I don’t know how much stock I put in these flimsy looking nails, but he’d said that if there was a planar tear, I just needed to make a circle with the nails around it, and hammer the piton into the tear, and the barrier would do the rest.

Sounded like just the right amount of videogame bullshit to me, and if this wasn’t a planar tear/about to be a planar tear the art designers should be fired, preferably from a canon. I wish there was a UI element or something that told me when I’d made a circle though. Stupid fucking realism bullshit. ((Hear hear brother)).

I was very careful in placing the nails on the stone floor so they didn’t make any sounds. ((I really hope these don’t need to be hammered into the ground, or we’re fucked.)) Don’t jinx it. It took a little bit longer than I was comfortable, but going slow meant not being a wolf snack.

Finally, all the nails were placed, the wolf was still asleep, and I was stood in front of the tear holding my hammer and piton. All I had to do was hammer this piton into the tear. ((How?)) I should’ve asked Thomas for more details. ((Maybe hold the piton up to it and just… hammer it in?)) That’ll probably wake the wolf up, maybe I can shove it in with my hands.

I stood closer to the tear, feeling the pressure coming off the tear more keenly. I held the piton point forward against it, and felt it physically press against the ephemeral tear. I brought up my other hand to-

“Oh, what’s this? A cutie all for me?” I was suddenly staring at the most perfectly shaped pair of tits I’d ever seen in my entire life. A real set of hangers. I’m talking perfectly shaped perky funbags. ((Uhhh…)) Boobies bigger than my head. Bare breasts with nipples. Tits.

“That’s it baby, do you like my boobies? Aren't you lucky I felt your presence, so I could show you what you need. You didn’t want to lock poor old me out, did you?” Boobies. ((Uhh… the um, demon lady has like, pinkish skin I guess? She is pretty hot- I mean- her body is hot I can’t actually see her face, the tear only shows like, her neck and titties, but uh… fuck, I’m not good at this.))

“Don’t you want to be a good little slave for me? All you need to do is open the tear wider so I can come through cutie. Then we can have all the fun we want!” Nipples. ((Okay she sounds super fucking sketchy uh shit what do I do fuck fuck, um um um! Right! Oh man, how do I do this normally. There! Oof, that’s gotta hurt.))

A choked gurgle broke me out of whatever had ensorcelled me. I was holding the hammer in my right hand, and I’d apparently hammered the piton into the throat that was attached to the rockin' set of gazongas in front of me. ((Yeah that was me, sorry, my aim was a little off, I was trying to stake her like a vampire.))

In the few seconds it took for me to get control of my thoughts so I could think about something other than tits, multicoloured light started spiralling up from the nails surrounding me. It must have been the barrier reasserting itself and closing the tear, as the Demoness on the other side was pushed back by the mystic force, and reality closed back over with a pop.

((Alex, I don’t mean to alarm you, but that was very loud, and there’s a sleeping Direwolf in the room with us, so forget the light show, we’ve gotta-))

A growl from behind me stilled my thoughts.

...

Chapter Text

Fuck, okay, let’s hope that Damage Resistance Milestone is worth it. My mask flipped into battle mode as I dove to the side and rolled, feeling the razor slice along my shoulder as the Wolf barely clipped me. ((I shoved that pain down)) as I came out of my roll in a sprint, trying to put as much distance as I could between me and the monster wolf by going for the edge of the cave. There I’d have cover, and maybe a chance of hiding and escaping.

((That didn’t do that much damage, so that Milestone must be putting in work.)) I dove again as I heard the rustle of moving fur, and the growling snap of monstrous jaws was too loud for comfort. ((I shot off an examine)) with the full look at the Wolf I got coming out of the roll, tacking my momentum so I wasn’t running towards the monstrous beast.

((That’s a whole lotta lore not alotta stats maybe we shoulda been a mindthief- FUCK DIVE!)) I awkwardly splashed myself on the ground, which wasn’t good, but it was better than getting splashed by whatever sailed over my head, which sizzled as it hit the ground.

Fucking ACID?! ((I awkwardly tried to get my feet under me while ignoring the pain from belly flopping on the ground.)) I took over muscle movement and gave one last push to lose myself in the stalagmites. ((Stamina!))

My legs burned as I crouched down behind several layers of rocky pillar. Why is my stamina so fucked! (([Kage Mantle] drained a huge chunk tanking that hit.)) Shit. I deactivated the skill, and peeked my HUD to check my recovery rate. It was a little weird doing a videogame thing when the burn in my legs felt so real. I think I’d turn down the pain modifiers a touch when I was done with this.

((Alright I calced the rates on [Kage Mantle], I’ll have to flicker it to keep our stamina up, Otherwise two big bumps like that and we’re dead in the water.)) Good to know, should I use the bomb? ((I think we should get out of here. A prolonged fight probably won’t go well.))

Droplets of acid spattered to my left as Rawry hucked another glob into the stone pillars, not directly at me though, so hopefully I was hidden. ((It might be trying to flush us out.)) Let’s hope it’s not smart enough for that.

I flitted from mite to mite, trying to stick to the shadows and away from any glowing mushrooms.I could hear the Wolf growling and spitting, not closeby, but the cave acoustics were making it difficult to track where he was. ((I tried to keep an eye out for any movements through the gaps in the stalagmites, but the blue light from the mushrooms just deepened the shadows and made it impossible to distinguish actual movement from tricks of the light.)) That’ll make it easier to hide.

I managed to skirt almost the whole room, but I ran into a hurdle in the final stretch. There was a glowing pool of water, probably the source of the moisture in the air, against the wall of the cave. The problem was there was barely any cover between me and the exit, and if I moved past the pool I’d be lit up and exposed. Crawling prone to the exit might work… ((Except if Rawry spots us, we’re finished. Maybe we can go for a swim?))

The pool would get me closer to the exit, and there was more cover to hide behind to get to the exit, ((the tradeoff being wet clothes making stealth a shittonne harder.)) Maybe take my clothes off before getting in? ((Could work, but we’ll still be wet when he get out, and if he hears us pulling on clothes it’s over.))

This wasn’t going the way I’d hoped. I could use Tunni’s explosive as a distraction, but then I would need to run fast enough to catch Tunni before she ran in. ((No guarantees he’d even be distracted by it. It’s a better bet to save it for sneak attack and try to blind him with the explosive.)) Okay, crawl to the exit, and if he spots me, blind him. I’m not confident you can even get a sneak attack with an explosive. ((You might be right.))

I started creeping towards the exit, making sure to keep at least three limbs on the ground at all times and holding my body as low as possible. It was going fine, ((and I spotted Rawry among half-light on the other side of the room)), searching for me among the pillars by poking his head through while sniffing around.

I was halfway to the exit when the Wolf decided I was no longer in the forest of pillars, and started stalking back towards the centre of the room. I had to make a snap decision, and cast about looking for somewhere to hide. ((There! Divot to the right!)) I slid into the shallow patch of shadow and prayed. Hopefully my clothes would keep me blended with the darkness.

Rawry crested his sleeping area and set up a vigil, his huge head swivelling around slowly and ears twitching as he tried to find his elusive prey. I was stuck, his heightened vigilance making it impossible for me to move.

((We should have just run for it.)) Yeah, fuck. I can’t tell if he’s close enough to hit with the bomb either. ((Well, we have to try, or it’s lay here and pray he goes back to sleep before he finds us.)) I think Tunni will come find us before that happens. Shit. ((We’ll probably have to move a bit closer before we throw.))

I slipped the warm vial from my sleeve, waiting for the Wolf to look somewhere else before standing. When I was sure I was outside his vision, I stood, making to move forward to ensure my throw landed properly. I had barely taken my first step when his head snapped towards me, freezing me in place.

Plans rarely survive contact with the enemy.

In hindsight, I understand what I did wrong. While Rawry could move pretty explosively, he was unused to moving a physical body; which I probably could have figured out if I’d bothered to actually read the popup or paid attention to how he moved. I should have focused on dodging and gotten into a drag out fight from the start, using my superior agility plus the poison on my blades to whittle him down.

Instead, I tried to salvage my plan, which almost cost me the fight and my life.

I whipped my hand forward, the vial sailing towards the Wolf as he spit acid at me in response. The vial hit the side of his snout, the reaction inside catalysing. The resulting explosion kind of did what I’d hoped, instantly pulping the side of his face, but the glob of acid was also affected by the blast.

My eyes widened as the glob turned into a spray, headed right towards me. ((It was too fast, I couldn’t dodge.)) I turned my body to make myself as small as possible and flung my arm up to cover my eyes. I heard Rawry howl in pain, but I didn’t feel anything for a heartbeat.

Oh what a blissful heartbeat it was.

((FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!)) My eyes watered as pain wracked my melting body, but I felt it all in a strange, analytical way. ((POTIONPOTIONPOTIONPOTION)) I tried to pull a potion from the wrong sleeve, but caught myself when I realised I couldn’t move the skeletal fingers of my right hand as the flesh melted off them.

I crunched the sweet life-giving nectar in my mouth, but it only made it worse. ((AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHWHYISITSTILLBURNING!!!!????)) I could feel, in a detached way, the regrowing muscle getting re-melted by the acid that was still on me. ((PLEASEALEXDOSOMETHINGITHURTS))

I stumbled as I tried to turn, the muscles in my right thigh having weakened from the acid, but I managed to stay upright. ((OH GODDESS FORGIVE ME I'M SORRY)) One of my foot wraps melted off when I accidentally stepped on the acid on the floor around me, but I made it to the pool of water as my legs failed, and splashed into the cooling waters.

((OhByTheGoddess…)) The acid neutralised in the cool refreshing water. It would have been really funny if this glowing water was also acidic or something worse, but my Luck held out. I checked my conditions to make certain I wasn’t melting anymore and popped another potion to reknit my right arm back together.

That wasn’t the most unpleasant thing I’d ever experienced in a VR game, but it was definitely in the top 30. It would probably be further up if I could actually feel the pain, but I’d obviously done something to block my conscious mind from feeling it so I didn’t die melting while wracked from the pain of the acid. It was quick thinking on my part, and I promised to get myself a treat after this.

I needed to get back to the fight and hit the fucker hard while he was still recovering. I shot out of the water as fast as my freshly healed legs would take me, taking a heartbeat to gauge the state of the battlefield and pull my blades out. Rawry was scratching at the side of his mangled face while writhing on the ground.

I’d recovered faster than him, thank the Goddess, and I needed to make it count.

I sprinted across the Elf shaped shadow in the acid on the floor, ignoring the way the rough texture of the floor tore my foot, and jumped onto the cursed beast. I worked him over like an elf possessed, arms a blur with [Kage Mantle] doubling my hits as I manually flickered the Spell to keep my Stamina going as long as possible.

I got a good amount of hits in before he twisted to throw me off, forcing me to tumble away lest I lose what was left of my shirt to his razor sharp claws. Rawry managed to get himself to his feet, though half his face and neck was mangled and he was bleeding heavily from the side I’d stabbed.

The roar he let out was terrifyingly loud, but my veins were filled with adrenaline and healing potion, so fear had no room to take root. I zoned in and pressed the attack. There was little room for error, one misplaced foot would lead to a mauling at the claws of the monstrous wolf.

But that was right where I wanted to be.

—xxxxxx—

Tunni looked up when she heard the sound of the bomb she’d given Lex go off. “Oh no…”

Fear clenched her heart. She’d been faintly hearing scrabbling sounds for a while, but Lex had said the bomb was the signal, so she’d stayed put and hugged Wubby tighter. When the noise had died down, she’d thought she’d see Lex swagger out of the darkness at any second.

But then the bomb went off. Something had gone wrong, and Lex needed her help, but her limbs were frozen. She should just run. Wubby was scared, she was scared, Lex had wanted her to run away to begin with, and Lex probably had it under control…

Wubby whined, a low, pitiful sound. Through the familiar bond she felt his fear, but more than that, she felt the comfort of the pack. Even if it was a pack of two, Wubby would follow her through the hells.

“You’re right Wubby.” She squeezed him tightly and climbed onto his back, holding his neck tightly as he dashed towards the lair where her friend was fighting.

…

The sound of scraping claws grew louder, till she finally came upon a room bathed in blue hues, the floor dyed dark purple with blood and the air acrid with the scent of acid. In the centre, a shadowed humanoid shape performed a deadly dance with the great beast. She watched in awe as the smaller figure flowed around the monster, stabbing at it before retreating away from the searching claws that were slightly too slow to catch the elusive shadow.

“The Championz truly ‘ave returned.” The words left her lips unbidden as Lex’s red eyes flashed towards her while she backflipped to gain distance.

“Tunni! I need something with OMPF!” Lex called for aid.

And Tunni answered, her hands already moving through the motions James had spent hours teaching her before the expedition. The vial appeared in her hand, already heating up as her reaction dampening stopped affecting the volatile concoction, and she moved.

The vial glowed as it travelled through the air. It seemed to fly in slow motion to her, the first time this had ever happened to her, and she had time to realise it was going to miss it's target. Why had she thrown it with such a high ark? Had she only made things worse, acting without thinking like she had?

Suddenly, Lex appeared in the air, right next to the vial. She pierced the stopper with the tip of her dagger, and in a smooth motion, twisted, launching the dagger with a speed Tunni wouldn’t be able to match.

She would remember the scene for the rest of her life. The monstrous Wolf, cowering, its mangled face twisted into fury and fear as its single eye fearfully tracked the dagger. The dagger itself, shining with deadly yellow light as the vial on the tip began its fatal reaction. Lex, hovering in the air as she spun, frozen in a moment of action.

Then the explosion threw the Wolf into the stalagmites on the edge of the room. It didn’t even cry out, crashing through a layer of rock before it came to a rest in a bloody pile. After the explosive action, the quiet that settled over the room was deafening.

...

“Ow! Fuck! Tunniiiiii! Do you have any healing pots?” At least, until Lex cried out.

—xxxxxx—

I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice to say I was more potion than Elf when Tunni showed up. I’d gotten a lot of good hits in, but I’d been forced to take claws on my back to get those hits, hampered as I was by the freshly reformed musculature on my right side and legs. I’d managed to keep it mostly superficial, but one Milestone does not a Tank make, and it wasn’t strong enough to make up the health gap of my low Courage, so I had to make it up with potions.

The Wolf hadn’t fared much better, but I needed something to finish it off, preferably without getting close enough for it to hit me because I was out of potions. That's when I saw Tunni, staring wide eyed at the entrance to the room, and I knew I had my finisher.

She’d done great, perfectly setting up for a spike as though we’d practiced for it. My coach might have a few words for me about the landing though, though I think he wouldn’t blame me for not doing a 10 point finish after getting launched by an explosion.

“Fuckin, think I cracked a hells-damned rib.” My good arm was bent too far behind my head and I thought I felt my left-side ribs shift when I tried to move. I didn’t get a dazed notification, so I think I’d protected my head well enough.

A broken rib probably wouldn’t kill me, but if the devs had put in enough realism that I could feel them move, there was a chance they’d made it possible to pierce something important with a floater. And since I still couldn’t feel any pain yet, staying still was my best chance of not dying after I’d won.

((Ooooooh… Did we win? It really doesn’t feel like we won…)) There was a slight pain in my head as my subconscious became… well, conscious again. Ow, shit, yes we won. Can you let me feel my pain receptors again? ((Goddess… you sure? It fucking hurts. I think our ribs are broken.)) Please, just- do it slowly. ((I’ll try.))

The pain made itself known in my legs first, the phantom acid burns making the freshly healed skin itch. Next was my right arm, which was the same as my legs, just more random with intense spikes as nerves fired off randomly. ((Okay I’m giving you ribs now.)) Those were both nothing compared to my ribs, which were definitely broken and made me gasp when the pain hit.

“Ow, Fuck! Tunniiiiii! Do you have any healing pots?” I called out to my goblin saviour for sustenance.

((Sorry, I don’t know how to make it slowly come back. I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to block pain like this at all, it seems really really busted.)) Well thank fuck you can, we would’ve died otherwise. Are you okay? ((I think I passed out for a bit there, but I’m better now. Just have a headache.))

“Lex! Oh my gosh your arm!” Tunni ran up around in front of me and knelt down, fussing with her hands but not actually touching me. “Um-um-um- doez it ‘urt anywhere elze?! What about your legz?!”

I dunno why she needed to know that, couldn’t she just feed me a fucking potion? “My ribs are broken and I got splashed with acid earlier. I’m not sure if it healed right though. OW!” She gently prodded my ribs and pain shot through them. “Why?!”

“Zorry! Zorry- The generic ‘Ealing Potionz are fine in a pinch, but they tend to interfere with other potionz. I needed to see if it waz a fracture or a break.”

“Couldn’t you have just asked me? I can feel one of my ribs floating.” It came off a bit petulant but it hurt if I breathed too hard so sue me.

“You’d be zurpized ‘ow badly people mizdiagnoze themzelvez, ezpecially with zyztem mezzagez. You’d think the Goddezz would be better at injury diagnoziz- ‘Ere, drink thiz.”

She pressed a potion to my lips, and I delicately sipped at the ambrosial nectar, before chugging down the rest as she upended the rest of the potion into my mouth. It tasted really good. I could feel the bones in my chest return to their proper spots, and with a spike of pain they set back into their proper position. “Owww…”

“‘ere.” She pressed another potion to my lips, and I drank it too. The nerve endings in my arm and legs sparked and then faded, till I couldn’t feel the dull background pain anymore, and my ribs stopped aching too. It helped that the potion also tasted good.

“What was that potion made out of?” I sat up and checked my shoulder. It felt dislocated.

“That one uzez a baze of Kobold Cum with Forma extract and crushed Dragonlily along with a couple additions. I am glad that you are zo interezted but I think you should worry about your arm firzt.” Tunni gently felt my shoulder to see what was wrong with it.

I sighed. “It’s dislocated. I’d know, it’s happened before. And I got a popup.” Tunni nodded.

“It doesn’t feel broken. Alright, brace.” She lifted my arm and I shifted to brace myself against the floor. “Three, two, one.”

I clenched my teeth, but it didn’t hurt when my shoulder popped back into place. Probably that potion she gave me. “Thank Tunni. For coming to help me too. It probably would’ve been a draw if you hadn’t shown up.” Always a good idea to thank your NPCs.

“Think nothing of it Lex. I will not lie and say I didn’t think about running, but I couldn’t abandon a friend! Now, ‘old ztill. I’m not a Doctor, zo I need to do thiz manually.”

—xxxxxx—

I checked some Notifications while Tunni fussed over me to make sure I was all healed up properly.

Being able to tell what kind of cum was used in a potion was great for my alchemy, but… ((we probably need to upgrade it so it gives more useful info.)) Yeah.

Seems like these battle Milestones are broken too, but I’m not complaining. Probably should tell Mom about those later, she’ll want Thrill. ((Seems pretty good for anyone really.)) I can probably trade it to Bard for something too.

“All clear! You ‘eal much better than anyone I’ve met, I couldn’t even zee any of the typical markingz from potionz.” I stood up and dusted myself off. My outfit was almost a total write off, my jacket was barely holding together, and my trousers were better off being shorts. The only thing that wasn’t destroyed was my bodysuit, the stretchy material seeming to magically weave itself back together somehow, though given how easily it ripped that was a Goddessend.

I’d have to get the rest repaired in town, or maybe just get some new clothes. ((Maybe the dungeon reward will be clothes.)) Or boots. I hope it’s boots, otherwise walking back is gonna suck.

I sauntered over to the boss corpse to get my reward, while Tunni stayed with Wubby a safe distance back, looking a little green-er when she saw the aftermath of her handiwork. It was a pretty grizzly sight in all honesty, its death having done little to improve the look of the twisted Wolf's matted fur and wrong, warped musculature.

I avoided the blood splattered on the ground and put my hand up towards it, trying to pull up a menu or something to get my reward. C’mon you stupid fucking game, gimme my Demi’s damned reward already. I fought fucking hard for this one, at least give me a-

I jumped backwards, remaining dagger drawn from my sleeve, as the corpse twitched. ((Oh, Goddess deliver me, it’s still alive!?)) For fuck’s sake! I was about to turn, grab Tunni and run, when a spectral claw ripped its way from the corpse, and a notification forced its way onto my HUD.

I felt like I was going to see ‘talk to X for your reward’ a lot. The spectral beast had ripped its way free of the corpse, and was now floating above the floor in its full majesty. Graceful limbs of pale gold stretched and flexed, as the Wolf shook, not unlike a dog, before stepping down off of his invisible perch and onto the floor.

He looked like the exact opposite of the Wolf I’d killed. Where the Boss Monster was a twisted Wolf, rent with spikes and barely able to control its malformed muscles; the ‘real’ Rawry was majestic, his svelte coat trailing runes into the air where they diffused into golden light.

“Peace, Adventurers. I mean you no harm. I am Rawry, protector of the plains of Lewfring. Though I am embarrassed to admit, I was having a nice long nap, and only awoke when I was trapped in that prison of flesh. My memory is hazy, more sensations really, but I assume you are the ones who rescued me? Might I have your names?” His voice seemed to echo from all around, a low grumble that matched the ancient vibe the Eidolon gave off.

“Ahem, I am Armageddon Lex, and this is Tunni. We were here to find the source of the corruption in this cave, but that’s been dealt with, and I’m supposed to get a reward from you.” I pulled up the quest text to show to him, as well as the Region Quest.

“Hmmm… Such strange names Adventurers have these days. And a Goblin adventurer! Bonded with one of my kin to boot! Never thought I’d see the day.” The Wolf Eidolon went silent as he peered at the windows. Tunni squirmed and I yawned. All the excitement was finally catching up to me, and after the spike of the battle I could feel myself crashing.

“Hrm… This bodes ill for the plains of Lewfring. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, brave Adventurers. For your reward, I grant you, as is my right by the powers bestowed to me by my Master and the Goddess, the highest reward I can bestow.” The Wolf closed his eyes, and in front of us appeared two chests, the same golden bands of runes trailing off the white surface as the Wolf himself.

I greedily went to rush for my reward, but paused before touching the chest. “Wait, what does my reward entail?” I wasn’t usually one to look a gift horse in the mouth… but… ((call it a hunch)).

“Even I do not know what your reward will be, it is up to the Great Tables and the dice they roll. Though these chests are weighted fairly heavily in your favour. You will also gain my Indicium, a mighty gift if I may be so humble!” He laughed, a strange sound at odds with the slightly frightening expression of a smiling wolf.

“Okay, but what’s an Indicium? What does it do?” The reward roll wasn’t that much of a surprise, but a Personal Indicium wasn’t something he’d heard of before.

“Hm? Well, first and foremost mine gives you the right to become a Silver Star Adventurer, though I suppose you must already be one, considering the fight you just won! That flesh prison was really going all out to kill you, a far more dangerous challenge than intended!” He guffawed again.

“You must be powerful indeed to be a Silver Star without having an Indicium already! Almost on the level of a Champion! Ahhh…” His gaze turned to the middle-distance, as a wistful sigh reverberated through the cave, the emotion so potent I could feel it in some strange way.

I hadn’t really wanted to go through the whole Champion returning routine again, but ((I was overcome with emotion, the longing in his sigh hit me with a need to inform him that his long awaited desire was fulfilled.)) “The Champions have returned, I’m a Champion, we returned last night.”

He paused his wistful contemplation, ears twitching as he returned to face me, closer this time, enough that my hackles rose slightly. ((You couldn’t remove an instinctive fear of wolves from a person, no matter how hard you tried.))

“I am sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you say you were a Champion?” I couldn’t really read the emotion in his alien eyes, but I got the feeling well enough from his voice. A mixture of excitement, trepidation and disbelief.

“Go ahead and check. Or ask Tunni, she can verify.” Rawry narrowed his eyes, and I felt a tingle as he examined me. There was a beat of silence as he read whatever it gave him.

“It’s true… THE CHAMPIONS HAVE RETURNED!” The cave vibrated with his howl, the emotion of excitement palpable in the air as it drowned out everything else. The Great Wolf began to prance around the entire room, leaving trails of runes that stuck to the environment instead of fading like before, the room coming alive with light and life as new sprouts burst from any stone emblazoned with a symbol.

“Do you know what an Indicium is? And what they do?” I turned to Tunni for answers. The Wolf would be a while, it was a big room.

“Not really zorry. I think that Adventurerz uze them az ztatuz zymbolz or zomething, but other than that?” She shrugged.

After three full rotations of the room, Rawry finally came to a rest in front of us again, still visibly shaking with excitement. “Blessed be I by the Goddess and all her children, I thought this day a dream, never to be fulfilled!” He howled again.

“Glad I could be of assistance, Rawry, but could you tell me what your Indicium does exactly?” All the emotional resonance permeating the room was making me feel weird and tired.

“Yes, right, ahem. Excuse me, I let my excitement get the better of me.” He composed himself, but his tail was still rocketing back and forth fast enough to create an afterimage. “It differs from person to person, but generally it grants a passive increase to one of your senses, and when equipped improves your team synergy. You’ll be getting it at tier II, of course, given your bravery and cunning in battle, though I’d grant you tier III if I could. Alas, it requires a task to be fulfilled before I can grant it to you.” He gave an embarrassed cough.

“Alright, cool. I just wanted to be sure.” I put my hands on the glowing chest and pulled it open. Or, tried to. I had to put my back into heaving the chest upward, the golden runes on it sparking off and trailing into the ether. With one final grunt of effort the lid popped open to reveal my reward.

Inside was a cropped jacket with long sleeves, quite anachronistic and orange instead of blue which sucked, but the material felt much nicer than my one and it had a symbol on the back that read ‘Wolf’ in the Kunoichi code language. I don’t know why it was emblazoned with a hidden code language, but it looked rad as shit. I immediately pulled off my melted jacket and pulled it on.

Still couldn’t read the tooltips, but fuck it, my jacket was ruined anyway. I wasn’t a huge fan of the bare-midriff look, but I’d live until I found a better shirt or bodysuit. Hopefully they had dye in the village though. Orange wasn’t my colour.

I turned to Tunni, who pulled a leather apron from her chest. My eyes went wide when she held it up towards me, allowing me to read the embroidery on the front that read ‘I Fuck My Familiar’. Or, well, that’s the closest translation from kunoichi code. Behind that was a paw print. ((Looks like something DD would like.))

“Oh wow! I’ve never received tailored equipment from the Demi’z before! I wonder what theze zymbolz mean! Can you read them?” I could tell even past all the gear she was wearing that she was excited. ((It’ll be fine. S’not like it’s inaccurate.))

I schooled my expression. “I can’t read it either, but I’m sure it says Wolf Alchemist or something.”

She beamed at me as she pulled the apron into her inventory, and I shot a look at Rawry, who’s expression hadn’t changed from excitement. At least he couldn’t understand it either. As long as she didn’t run into any other Kunoichi she’d be fine. At least mine was normal.

“So, Indicium?” I turned to Rawry and swiftly changed the subject to the final part of our reward.

“Ah, yes. Ahem. Here, kneel in front of me and I shall grant you my power. There’s a little bit of pomp to it, you understand, Divinity and such.” We both shuffled into position, Wubby padding over to sit beside his mistress. There was an awkward beat where I helped Tunni bend her stiff coat so she could kneel and scraped my knee, but we settled quickly.

Runes began to swirl around us, and I felt the tingle of magic again as Rawry began howling. It reverberated in the same way his voice had, but more. Like there were extra layers to it that weren’t audible, and strumming something in my soul.

The runes swirling around us hit their crescendo, then slowly dissolved into magical light. I felt a heavy weight on my back, but it faded after a second. “Ah ha haaa… ‘Tis been too long since I’ve given out my Indicium.”

I stood and helped Tunni stand up before dusting off my trousers and accidentally putting another tear in them. She started cooing and fussing over Wubby, marvelling at his new coat of pale gold and tiny runescript forming on it. She’d obviously gotten a pretty good roll on her Indicium, but so had I honestly. Improved hearing and taste was whatever, but a flat 10% damage buff was really good, and would only get better.

((Mom is gonna be pissed that she missed this when she wakes up from her coma.)) Yeah well, she shouldn’t have rushed ahead and got overdosed on Aphrodisiac. We can probably run this again later with DD and get it for both of them. Actually I wonder if Adenia can get it too? ((Worth a shot.))

“So how do I get the upgrade task? It doesn’t say.” If an upgrade improved the Pack Hunter buff, I wanted it. It was always good to get more damage.

Rawry tilted his head at me. “My my, so eager young one! You remind me of my Mistress, ahh, those were the days, ahem- anyway, I’ll need to give you a task. Hold on, let me just…” His eyes glazed over as he searched his HUD for something, only for him to cough again as his eyes refocused on me.

“Well- um- young Lex, I um- I do have a task for one such as yourself, but- ah- it’s not something I generally ask a young lady I just met to do. Especially after you saved me. It’s- um- It’s easy enough, but um…” I couldn’t read the expression in the Wolf’s face, but his voice sounded… embarrassed?

“Just lay it on me. I can just not do it, right?” Rawry didn’t look me in the eyes as he sent me the task.

I was so close to outright refusing. I should have. I would have! ((Totally.)) But… the upgrade…

I literally couldn’t not get it. It would just be straight up leaving power on the table, and what was a couple loads of wolf jizz to secure a potentially build defining buff. Grandma might disown me if she found out I had the chance to buff my Sneak Attack so it scaled up to quadruple damage and I didn’t take it. She might call me several slurs if she found out what I did for it, but she’d do that anyway when she saw my character, so who cares.

I accepted the quest.

I’d probably need help though. “You accepted?! Why- I thought- You have more in common with my Mistress than I thought!” His voice sounded flustered. ((I think this guys mistress was a real freak.)) Well lucky we have a proven freak with us.

“Can my friend do this quest as well? Cause it’ll go faster if there’s two of us.” The Wolf bounced on his feet with excitement and nodded. “Oh, you’ll spoil this old Eidolon!”

“Tunni," I turned to my erstwhile dogfucking expert, who did her cute head tilt again as she looked up from fussing with Wubby when she heard her name. "We can upgrade our Indicium's to tier three right now if we both do this task.”

I nodded to Rawry and he sent her the task. "Oh! Oh my... Well, you've come to the right girl for help!" She petted Wubby one more time before telling him to go lay down.

"Would you like to start now?" She looked at me while fiddling with the belt buckle on her jacket. I looked around the cave, and then down at my ripped trousers and already scuffed knee.

“If you have any knee pads, sure.”

—xxxxxx—

Turns out she did have knee pads, which was a little surprising. They were a bit small, so I had to wear both of them on my right knee, but I just wadded up the remains of the bottom of my pants and used that to protect my left.

I was grateful for the protection, as we were currently on our knees under the Great Wolf Eidolon, who was looking back at us, tail wagging a mile a minute. “I’m so grateful that you two have decided to help me! There have been some others who have taken this task, but never two at the same time! It has been since my Mistress' time that I last enjoyed this pleasure!” He guffawed.

The room resonated with his excitement, and I annoyingly felt myself resonating with it as well. It didn’t help that there was a sexy green shortstack across from me, who was naked from the waist up and not hiding how excited she was to be sharing Ethereal Wolf cock with me.

Her dark green nipples stood erect from her breasts, the cool cave air paired with her anticipation made them an eye catching sight that I had to force myself not to stare. That and her rack was big, especially on her smaller frame. ((I think you might still be feeling the effects of that Demon.))

“Izn’t thiz zo exciting! Now, ‘ave you done one thiz big before? No? Then I’ll show you ‘ow I uzually ztart.” She leaned in towards the heavy pseudo-physical Wolf balls and put her hands on them. “Normally they are already ‘ard when I come out on ztage, but when they ‘ave a sheathe like this zometimez you ‘ave to…”

She kneaded his fat nuts with her hands till his sheathe twitched and started to push outward. “Ah, yez, you zee zometimez they need a little ‘elping ‘and. ‘Ere, you can ‘elp with thiz, lubricate your ‘andz and we’ll get this big boy out together.”

Any trepidation I felt about touching a big wolf cock ((was ruthlessly crushed by my desire for Ultra Backstabs.)) I shuffled forward with Tunni and scooped some of the lube she held out onto my hands, before we began working our fingers into the sheathe. Upon getting my fingers inside, I understood why Rawry hadn’t gotten erect yet despite his excitement. There was a sticky residue glueing the tip to the inside of the sheathe and making it unable to release its sword.

“I must apologise for the state of my- Hoo! Ah- You see, I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep- an-an-and my Mistress enjoyed the- um-” Neither Tunni nor I cared much about his excuses, locked in as we were to releasing his Cum Cannon from its smegma encased confines.

((Actually, isn’t he ethereal? How would-)) Our ministrations had the desired lubricating effect, and more than a foot of spring loaded, red hot and steaming Wolf Cock shot out. Tunni squealed, and I reflexively flared my nostrils before I remembered I couldn’t smell anything because of my mask.

“Demi’z above…” Tunni’s eyelids fluttered as she took in every part of the majestic dick. It made me feel a touch jealous, like I was missing out on something, so I mentally switched my scent suppression off. ((Wait I think that’s a-))

It was only meant to be for a second, but my memory only came back some ten-ish seconds later, my cheek pressed against the biological barrel. I could still feel the delicious salty combination of cocksweat and semen tingling my nostrils, but it felt way more muted than the initial whiff that had knocked me out.

Are you doing that? ((Oof… no, I think that burnt out our olfactory senses.)) Damn. Whatever. I peeled my face off the meat slab and looked over a Tunni, who was just coming back from her own stink induced daze. “Oooh, that’z a bit stronger than I am uzed to.”

Our eyes met across the top of the canine cock, and we moved up to the tip together. There was a touch of trepidation from the both of us as our faces came within an inch of each other, but it was quickly overcome when Rawry’s cock twitched, and we dove onto the tip.

We cleaned that tip like professionals, slurping and licking up all the delicious ether residue and entwining out tongues together to pass it back and forth. It had a strange taste, kind of like caramel cotton candy, ((which definitely wasn’t normal)) but I wasn’t about to complain about the taste of Eidolon smegma.

((Huh? Where is…)) Hmm? ((No, ignore me, weird notif, keep going.))

We both startled when Rawry howled, and cum shot out onto the floor from his elf/goblin slobber polished tip.

“A little too much stimulation, big boy?” I was surprised the words came from me, and in such a sultry tone I almost didn’t recognise my own voice.

“Oof- Sorry ladies, you’ll have to- um- forgive me- it’s been a long time.”

“Well, that juzt meanz there’z a lot in there for uz to get out!” With renewed vigour she pressed one hand to the colossal jizz rocket while the other tweaked her erect green nipple, and she resumed working her lips on her side of the tip. Her hand was far too small to wrap around the fat schlong, so I matched pace with her and wrapped my own hand next to hers, barely managing to create a tunnel with our fingertips so we could jerk him together properly.

“Oh my- Girls your-” He howled again as he came, more Eidolon Cum ((Ectoplasm)) pooling on the floor. I felt a pang of something when I looked at all the Cum being wasted on the floor, but my attention was pulled back as to Tunni as she shuffled herself underneath the semi-corporeal cum howitzer.

“Lex, you take the tip, I will work the shaft. The crowdz at the Hoard loved thiz one.” I placed myself directly into firing range while Tunni got her own green ordinance wrapped around the barrel. I was a bit intimidated by the size, but my hesitance lasted all of two seconds as I worked out how to get my mouth on it. With the tip in my mouth and the salty residue of salted caramel flavoured semen on my tongue, I worked the tip while Tunni worked the shaft, just as planned.

I wasn’t surprised when my mouth flooded with Eidolon Cream, Rawry’s hair trigger continuing to deliver premium candy flavoured ballslop at a fast pace, and he overwhelmed my ability to swallow

Jizz spilled out of the edge of my mouth, only to be caught by Tunni, as she’d moved up to catch any spillage in her mouth. “Oh my, thiz iz tazty! We ‘ave to gather the ztuff on the floor after!”

The flow finally petered out and I managed to suck down the last of the heavenly load. ((Ooh! Peep this!))

Holy shit that’s good. ((Yeah, so don’t swallow all of it you cumslut.)) I’d like to see you try to not swallow it. ((Fair.)) “Holy Shit! Thiz zemen iz excellent!”

Seems Tunni got the same Notification I did. “Why thank you little one, I- ah! My Mistress was very happy when- ooh! When I became an Ethereal Protector becau-” I popped my mouth off the caramel cum dispenser, causing Rawry to shudder. “Oh grace, it feels so- ahem. I’ve been told it tastes good.”

“It’z more than the tazte! Thiz iz an incredible ingredient! I’ve never zeen Divine quality cum before. Ah! I knew that Unicorn waz a fake!” Tunni was excitedly bouncing on her heels, while I pondered why I felt unsatisfied with myself.

“We should be ‘arvezting thiz ztuff! If my calculationz are correct, we can beat our quota by a lot! Juzt- um- Protector Rawry, zir!” Tunni stood up and went in front of the Wolf. “My name iz Tunni, az you know, but you may not know I am a Cum Alchemist, and your cum iz a magnificent Alchemical ingredient, and I would like to gather it rather than let it wazte on the floor like this zo I can uze it in my Alchemy, but I need to go and get my azziztantz to gather it. Can I pleaze go and get them? I’ll be quick!”

Rawry’s head tilted to the side as she blurted out her spiel, and he thought for a second before nodding. “I don’t see any problem with that.”

“Great! Thank you! I’ll be right back! Try not to milk too many loadz from ‘im Lex!” She hopped up on Wubby’s back, who had been lying around while his Mistress jerked another wolf but perked up at her command, and sprinted off, leaving a mini trail of runes like Rawry had.

“What an excitable young lady. A great partner for my progeny, if I do say so myself. Um- if it’s okay with you, I wouldn’t mind one more load before I take a rest while your friend gets back.” He tried to play it coy, but I was kneeling in front of his cock and I could see it twitch with need.

“Alright, I wanted to try something anyway.” I still felt a strange lump in my chest, like I needed to prove something to myself. I worked my mouth back onto the tip, but this time followed my body’s motions and pushed in deeper. It took a bit for my throat to stretch open enough to let the shell chamber my throat, but once I’d acclimatised I slid forward, filling my mouth and top of my throat with canid cock. It felt really good, better than it should have, and I thought the feeling would be satisfied, but it remained.

Maybe I am a pervert… ((Yeah, but a damn good one. Not many regular perverts could take an arm sized wolf cock in their throat.)) Goddess, how did I even get here? I was just gonna jerk him off for the Upgrade! ((Don’t try and blame this on me, I didn’t touch anything.)) I’m not! I just… You know what? ((What?)) Fuck it I’m already here. Go hard or go home.

I closed my eyes, and pushed further.

And further.

And further.

To the point where I started to wonder where the cock was going, and how I was still breathing, because there was definitely no space for air to get to my lungs.

But the feeling was still there, pushing me forward at a languid pace, until I jolted in surprise as my lips hit the knot. “Ooooh… Madam, I do not know your lineage, but you must share one with my Mistress. She is the only other who has managed to kiss my knot in such a manner.”

A shock ran through me. I knew what I had to do.

“Oh my- what are you- oh- I don’t- oh- By the Goddess! Wait! I’m- HOOO!” Rawry bent forward, his hind legs raising into the air as he angled himself properly so I could more easily work his knot into my mouth.

It was a couple minutes of tribulation, Rawry’s reverberating voice letting out huffs and whines as he desperately tried not to cum, backed by the sloppy sounds of me gurgling throatslop and popping my lips on and off his knot. It was really stupid, probably suicidal for anyone without whatever Elven biology I had, but I needed to get that knot in my mouth. It was a matter of pride at this point. ((Maybe we’re more like Mom than we thought.))

It was the best feeling in the world when it finally happened. I think my jaw broke, but who gives a shit about that, my lips finally spread over the knot and kissed the furry base. I basked in the sense of satisfaction as Rawry howled and came deep in whatever nebulous place inside me was holding the two feet of wolf cock.

We basked in the moment for a good long while, Rawry panting while I dreamily coasted on the endorphins of a job well done. “I must say my Lady,” Rawry said between breaths. “You have achieved something I had not thought possible. Even my Mistress did not achieve this much.”

I pulled out of my stupor enough to appreciate the compliment. It felt good to be acknowledged, even if it was just some NPC and it didn’t matter at all. I stirred enough that I could feel the pain in my jaw, and decided that I’d had enough of having my throat lodged with wolf meat.

After a bit of wiggling and pulling, I realised I’d forgotten what happened to Tunni not a couple hours earlier, and I’d fallen into the same trap. I was stuck, at least until the knot deflated.

I groaned.

“Um- I’m sorry madam. If I could deflate faster I would- but- um… I’ll find us a place to lay down.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

I tried to catch my reflection in the pool, but I couldn’t discern more than a vague blob with two pointed ears sticking out. I sighed, cupped some water into my mouth and gargled to try and get the salty taste of Wolf semen out of my mouth. Not that it tasted bad, I just didn’t really want to walk back to town being reminded of it every time I breathed.

After a couple of rinses, my mouth felt clean enough. I yawned as I straightened out, stretching my arms and flexing my legs. I wobbled a little as the exhaustion of staying up all night hit me, compounded by the ache in my arms from jerking off Rawry for the past hour.

I rolled my head back to get a look at the fruits of our labour, which were currently sealed in several barrels. The last barrel was in the middle of being secured to a hand cart, though work had paused as the small team of goblins starred in my direction. The four all scrambled to pretend they hadn’t been staring at my ass when they noticed my gaze.

It wasn’t that big! Was it? I huffed and twisted to look down at myself. The backside of my trousers were mostly intact last time I’d checked, but now I found that my right pant leg had ripped along the curve of my generous rear, showing off a small but tantalising amount of cheek.

I felt a touch of embarrassment flush my cheeks, but these people had already watched me get pulled off two feet of wolf dick, so having them stare at my ass wasn’t that embarrassing. Maybe I should find some tassets though, or something to tie around my waist so I wasn’t giving everyone behind me a show; Goddess forbid someone activates Hypnotic Hindquarters again. I still hadn’t figured out how to turn that shit off, though I’d managed to avoid tempting anyone into grabbing me so far.

I finished stretching and, yawning again, I wandered over to Tunni. She was no longer naked, dressed in a different shirt- no wait, it was the same shirt… Were her boobs bigger? Her top three buttons had popped off and showed what looked like deeper cleavage than she’d had before, and there was more jiggle as she animatedly moved her arms while talking to Rawry and James.

“-we could make with thiz ztuff! I am not zaying you should come with uz, but pleaze think about what I’ve zaid. I am zure Vvader would love to talk with you az well!” Rawry tilted his head in recognition when she mentioned her patron.

“Vvader’s still knocking around is he? I was sure the old lizard’s greed would’ve gotten the better of him by now, but he always was a wily one. I’ll have to see who’s still around anyway, ‘tas been too long I have slumbered!” He smiled. “Not to mention this business proposition of yours is… intriguing. I’ll have to replenish my den guardians first though! I shudder to think what state the plains are in after their absence.”

I was honestly surprised that Rawry was even able to stand, let alone discuss business after the finishing Spell Tunni had used on him to squeeze the last dregs of semen from him. She’d told me to stand back, aimed him at the barrel, and planted a sloppy kiss right where sack met cockroot. I almost thought she’d killed him when, for a split second, he hollowed out like every bit of water in his body had been extracted through his loins, and he spurted one final explosive orgasm that overfilled the last barrel.

I crushed all the weird jealousy that resurfaced at Tunni for getting to drink all the excess cum and inserted myself into the conversational lull. “Hey Tunni, it’s been a long day for me, I’m gonna grab my M-friend and head back to town. Do you think that potion will be finished?” I had to stifle another yawn. I was a little worried I might not make it back to town at this rate.

“Oh! Of courze, yez, mhm! I underztand, I’ll come with you. Jamez can finalize all the detailz with Rawry.”

"Yeah, see ya Lex. Thanks for looking after Tunni."

"May your endeavours be successful my Lady. Should you require me again, do not hesitate to return. Do bring other Champions if you wish, I have been gone far too long and will require more assistants to reassert myself in this area."

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to refer anyone else here, especially if they somehow learned what I'd done to get my level three Indicium. "Just, don't give out any more quests that require- um- sexual favours. Unless they ask for it I guess. And don't tell anyone what I did. Please."

Rawry coughed, embarrassed. "Of course My Lady. There is much else that needs the hand of a Champion."

—xxxxxx—

Wubby yawned as he padded along beside us down the winding corridor. We'd been walking in companionable silence for a short while, but eventually my curiosity got the better of me. “Did you get a Milestone from all that? Because I think…”

“Yez I got two actually! ‘Ere, ‘ave a look! You ‘ave thiz one az well right, Zince you alzo identified Rawry’z cum? It’z a little ztrange I cannot zee zome of the text though.” She sounded excited as she flicked her hands, two popups appearing on my HUD.

That was strange. I hadn’t gotten any popup for Sinfully Divine, and I was pretty sure I met the requirements. I went to look through the rest of my HUD for my Milestone menu, but I got a stalled loading response, which was something I’d never experienced before in my entire life. Goddess this game was a piece of shit.

((Whoa! Shit, sorry, that was me, um I’ve been looking up stuff in our… uh, soul? I guess is the best word for it? Anyway, don’t access the deeper menus in the HUD for a little bit please, this shit is confusing enough as it is without it shifting around.)) Uhhh… Okay? Do you know if we have a Milestone called Sinfully Divine?

((Yeah, we got that one earlier, plus some others… I think? I felt the Indicium upgrade though, so don’t worry about that. This will take me a while to sort it all out so uhh, don’t get in any fights please. I might be quiet for a while.)) Okay, well, don’t brick yourself… or both of us I guess. I doubt we’re supposed to be looking at this stuff. ((Yeah, it’s um… I’ll merge our memories when I’m done, but uhh… yeah. I’ll try not to break anything.))

My Sub self had been quiet for a while, but looking into the game mechanics was useful. Maybe I could get past the stupid spoiler filter. That’s be nice. “Yeah, I did get Sinfully Divine, but I can’t read some of the text either. That’s happened with a lot of my Milestones though.”

Tunni gave me a thoughtful look and shrugged. “It ‘az been a rather eventful day. I 'aven't 'eard of either of theze Mileztonez before, maybe the Goddezz ‘az changed zome thingz with the return of the Championz? Whatever She did zurely ‘az a reazon.”

“Okay, c’est la vie and all is fine, but I’m pretty sure your tits grew bigger.”

Her eyes went wide and she looked down at her chest. “They ‘ave?!”

“Well, I’m pretty sure your shirt buttoned up all the way before.” I nodded to her shirt, which was hardly containing her plush rack, the remaining buttons fighting for their life. It was pretty hot honestly, but I was too tired to fully appreciate it.

Tunni looked very confused. “Are you zure? I… I thought my clothez were alwayz like thiz?”

“Yeah, I’m- Ah! What-?” A sharp pain spiked at the back of my head. ((Ow, what the fuck was that?! I thought I told you not to get into combat!)) Ow, shit- I didn’t… I, um… what… “What were we talking about?”

Tunni held a hand to her head. “Umm… I zaid the Goddezz zurely ‘az a reazon for ‘iding zome of the Mileztone text.”

“Right, yeah, um, you’re probably right. The Goddess works in mysterious ways I’m sure.” Whatever that pain was, it fled as quickly as it came.

It was probably a glitch.

—xxxxxx—

((Following where this Cheesed popup had come from led me down a rabbit hole into the code that held my avatar together. I didn’t really ‘get’ what I was looking at though. It’s representation to my senses was kind of like some of the old films Grandma had shown me, lots of trailing code and numbers that meant nothing to me, plus a spinning representation of what my avatar looked like.

It looked a little strange, not exactly how it looked in my memories from before I’d duplicated, but I couldn’t really put my finger on what was wrong. Even the representation I was holding on to felt a little ephemeral, like if I stopped thinking about it it would disappear, which made focussing on what differences there were really tricky.

I almost had it, the ass was too big, the lips were plumper, and I think my chest was a bit bigger, almost like- There was a trail of red symbols that shot off somewhere, followed by a sharp pain in the back of my head that crashed whatever train of thought I was holding onto.

Ow, What the fuck was that?! I thought I told you not to get into combat!)) I didn’t… I, um… what… ((I trailed off and said something to Tunni, so I turned back and tried to salvage… whatever I was thinking about. Dammit. I looked over the avatar representation again, but I didn’t see any clues as to what I was thinking about.

I sighed. Whatever, it can’t have been that important.))

—xxxxxx—

She awoke with a start, reality snapping back into focus as she shot upright too fast. Vision blurred and sound warbled as blood rushed to her head. Something like hands grasped her shoulders, and she thought the warbling sounded familiar. Like… “Ooooooh… Alex… Honey… Why does everything hurt?”

She was struggling to remember where she was, something that hadn’t happened since the night she was pretty sure Alex was conceived, so that wasn’t a great sign. If only there were something that told her what was wrong, like in video games. That’s be nice.

Oh yeah, right, video games… it was coming back to her. ”It’s okay Riley, you’re probably just exhausted. You’ve been comatose for… uhh, a couple hours.” The clarity of the popup helped her vision refine, the indistinct shapes and white spots slowly morphing into the vague outline of her son’s avatar.

“Alex! By the Goddess, what happened? I don’t really…” She looked down at herself and peeked under the covers. “Why am-”

“I’ll explain on the way back, I’m really f- really tired, and I’m sure you are too.” Alex turned to talk to someone else in the room. “You don’t happen to have any coffee or stimulants, do you Tunni?” He glanced back at her. “And maybe a spare blanket or something.”

She tilted her head in confusion, which was a mistake as her vision swam again.

“Easy! Easy, no movements till your vision stops swirling.” She didn’t even realise she was on the floor until Alex gently helped her lean against something. “Why do I feel so awful sweety? And why aren’t you speaking english? Is there something wrong with my head?” She was incredibly confused as to why Alex was suddenly speaking unintelligible gibberish.

“Ah, shit- sorry, I don’t have a proper handle on that yet, don’t worry about it. Try not to move too much-” she heard a door swing open and another voice said something she couldn’t understand and Alex responded in kind.

“Who was that, honey? Are there other people here?” The other voices were too garbled for her to read anything from the tone. Alex grabbed her hand (at least, she hoped it was Alex) and squeezed it.

“Mom, I need to go and deal with something real fast, it should only be a couple minutes, I’ll be right back.” He said some more stuff in whatever it was he was speaking, before he moved away and became an indistinct blur.

A door shut and she was suddenly alone, nearly incapacitated, listening to the buzzing white noise of a fan. She was a bit annoyed that Alex just abandoned her like that, but he sounded tired and grumpy, so whatever it was probably actually required his attention. He was a good boy like that.

She pulled up her HUD since it was the only thing that wasn’t a blurry mess of colours for some reason, and tabbed to her inventory, looking for where her bottoms had gone. There was a vague sense that she’d taken them off for some reason, but the events in her head were a jumbled mess after Alex had found that crevice in the Wolf Den.

The shield was in her inventory, so Alex must have given it to her at some point, and there were her chainmail bikini bottoms that were… broken. How had that happened? She pulled them out of her inventory, and sure enough, the clasps felt bent. Why had she done that? Luckily she was probably strong enough to temporarily fix them, but it would have to wait until she could see properly.

She tabbed over to her Milestones to maybe get a clue about what had happened, but there was nothing different there that she could see. Maybe her Notifications tab? Aha!

She flushed bright red. That didn’t bode well at all. What the heck had happened! She’d promised him she wouldn’t act like at turboslut when they played this game, and now here the game was making her some kind of rape creature! Alex would understand, but she didn’t like being made to break a promise like that.

Goddess, Alex knew she was playing a Futanari now too! How embarrassing! She’d been hoping to keep that a secret so she could go to gloryholes on occasion to keep herself from being horny and jumping on any cock with a pulse, but the cat was out of the bag now.

That wasn’t the end of the world, but Alex would probably have some questions about it. This was likely gonna be an awkward walk back to town, made worse by the fact that she didn’t know just how badly she’d embarrassed herself. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried her best to remember what had happened.

Alex went into the crevice… then she’d… grabbed Alex’s ass? Why had she done that? Then they’d-! Right! They’d fallen- struggled a bit on the ground- then the hissing- the cave crawl- right, it was coming back to her, she’d been hit in the ass with something as they were crawling and then- things were a little bit blurry from there, but there was a light? And she was searching for something- something to-

Oh Goddess, she’d cum on Alex! He was hiding- but she knew he was there and-

The rest came back in a flood of emotions and feelings, parts were vague and there was a long, hazy stretch where she sucked off a bunch of green cocks; not that shocking, her last outing with Lizzy was worse than that.

But the last memory seared itself like a hot iron on her skull. It came back as clear as if she was watching it on video. She’d set a trap for him. A trap! She’d wanted to stick her tongue down her son’s throat and make him cum his brains out! Thank the Goddess she’d remained in control enough to not rip off his whorish little getup and rail his tight little pussy right there!

Luckily Alex had pulled a reversal on her and…

Her cock twitched at the memory of Alex’s avatar’s fat asscheeks hotdogging her meatstick. It ached like nothing else, and she didn’t want to get hard anytime soon, but…

The memory of what Alex had done was incredibly hot. Goddess, she was such a freaking pervert! Why did her stupid porn rotted brain find the idea so hot! She shouldn’t have sex with Alex! She shouldn’t!

…but if Alex wanted to have sex with her…

She should stop thinking about this, her traitorous cock was aching and twitching, and Alex could come back at any second! She couldn’t let him see her in this state! Flicking through her menus to find something else to think about, she noticed new notifications and opened them without a second thought.

These revealed Milestones were rather random. When had she followed a Tenet of her Order anyway? She’d admittedly only skimmed the… first sentence of the page or so of Oath they’d presented her with when she became a Paladin of Light. Maybe she should have asked for a copy of it.

She hoped the Gooner Milestone didn’t interfere with her Class Oaths, though she supposed something would have happened already if it did. It seemed pretty good for a fairly easy Milestone to get. It also seemed pretty broken. Maybe she should contact support? Nah, abusing the Milestone was probably a better use of her time. Though grinding up Edge stacks by herself sounded like a bother.

What if…

Riley smacked her cheeks. NO. Focus!

The stinging pain actually helped her vision focus, and she could finally see the room she was in. An Office doubling as a bedroom, and whoever lived here was obviously a lot smaller than her if the bed was any indication. Strange there was a room like this in a wolf den, but this was obviously some kind of set up with the number of goblins she’d sucked while in the cage.

Blushing again, she decided to distract herself by snooping through whoever’s room this was. She tentatively pulled herself up off the floor and wobbled the couple steps to the small dresser beside the bed she’d been on and carefully rifled through the drawers. The smell that hit her was surprising, the cloying scent of old dried semen reminded her of laundry days when Alex thought he was being smart and hiding his ‘old socks’ at the bottom of the basket.

Those were always great days for her, the motions of the machine plus the-

She shoved the drawer closed. Goddess! Why was she such a pervert… and why was this game filled with the things she liked? She shook her head and looked around the rest of the room.

There wasn’t anything special about the rest of the room, just an alchemy set that had been recently used, some books in a language she couldn’t read and a cage for something called Wubby. Nothing to hold her interest for long. Sitting down on the bed, she kicked her heels for a bit while trying to think calming thoughts.

It wasn’t working, and she could feel the ache in her crotch grow as her evil slab began to rise. If only she had something to fiddle with (that wasn’t attached to her body) like she did at home. What she wouldn’t give for one of her half/never finished projects that were around the house, or even just her toolset to dick around with.

Maybe she could fiddle with the alchemy set, surely they wouldn’t mind. Maybe she could learn alchemy! Though that was probably an Int based thing. Plus she wasn’t really sure how stuff like that worked in this game. Maybe there was a Prostitute Job or Class? She’d be good at that. Maybe Ale-

She crossed her legs to keep her telescoping truncheon down. It didn’t really help, the ache felt good and was making the problem worse. Maybe she could just-

If she was quick about it-

She could cum super fast surely-

Wait! Her Bikini Bottoms!

She quickly pulled them back out of her inventory, now able to properly see the damage she’d inflicted on the garment. The metal clasps that held the sides together were twisted and some of the links were stressed, but it looked like nothing had snapped off. And with her Strength, she could easily bend the metal back into shape. All it would take was time and focus.

Exactly what she needed.

—xxxxxx—

“Me mam said her great grandmam was killed by Champions for her Gold! You’re all Gold fiending terrors, clamouring for your next fix! You’ll kill anything that has even a hint of Gold on it!” The crowd of goblins rabbled in agreement.

“I’m not going to kill you and take your gold! What the fuck would I even do with gold!?” I was at my wit’s end. I had high Charisma! What was the point of it if it didn’t help me convince a bunch of hysterical goblins that I wasn’t going to kill them for their gold! Gold wasn’t even the currency! Mennets were little blue swirly shards!

“Actually, how would your Great Great Grandmam have even been killed by Champions? I thought the Champions were gone for a thousand years? We came back Yesterday!” I was too tired for this shit. Why couldn’t that fucker that had come in screaming about Champions been literally five minutes delayed?

“Look, I’ve heard all the stories about Champions too, but Lex hasn’t done anything bad towards us. Hells, she’s even helped us! There’s no reason to act like this!” I was glad Lewis had decided to back me up, even if he stayed maybe a step or two further away from me. I wish Tunni was here, but she’d had to chase after a bunch of her panicking assistants that had run into the less lit portion of the cave.

“How do we know you're not gonna go get all your Champion buddies and come back to kill us in our sleep and take our gold, huh?” It was Thomas the Quartermaster this time, and he didn’t sound as vitriolic, more just asking a question and seeing how I responded.

“The only reason I’d bring anyone back here would be to get Rawry’s Indicium. I can’t vouch for any other Champions though, but if they find you in this cave they’re likely to attack you-”

“Which is why all of us should be packing up like Tunni ordered us to.” Lewis interjected.

“Yes, thank you Lewis. If you’re that afraid of Champions, the best way to ensure your safety is to leave this dungeon. And maybe wash your clothes so you don’t look like a bunch of Ferals.” That got a few gasps and offended looks, but it had the intended effect as some among the group sniffed at their ragged clothes.

Thomas looked around at the sorry state of the group, but crossed his arms, unconvinced. “Notice you didn’t say anything about our gold. You figure you can extort it out of us girly?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Once again, what in the actual fuck would I do with gold? Pave some streets I don’t own? Trim some armour I’m not wearing?”

“Heard it’s like a drug to you. Stories say some Champions made huge pools out of it to swim in. Sounds crazy if you ask me, but they all made you sound not right in the head.” He pulled out a gold coin from somewhere and flicked it at me.

I caught it and rolled it between my fingers. One side was completely smooth, worn away by countless years and fingers, but on the tails side I could faintly make out some kind of domino mask. Strange, but nothing that out of the ordinary. I flicked it back to him. That seemed to assuage any doubts he had. He walked up next to Lewis, who’s eyes went wide and he covered his ears with his hands.

“ALLRIGHT YOU LOT, YOU HEARD THE CHAMPION! TUNNI WANTS THOSE LABS PACKED AND IN FRONT OF MY ELEVATOR IN THE NEXT HOUR, OR YOU’LL WISH THIS LASS WAS A CHAMPION FROM THE STORIES! NOW MOVE!”

More than half the assembled goblins jumped into action, their fear of the Quartermaster outgrowing their fear of Champion stories, the remaining losing their nerve when the crowd became more of a group and rushing off to follow their peers so they weren’t singled out, until finally it was just the goblin who had instigated this whole mess.

“Messi, go have a rest lad, there’s no point in getting so worked up over fairy tales.” Messi, apparently, still looked at me with terror, but put on a brave face.

“You don’t get it Thomas! Those Champions are crazy! I saw them fighting in the town square- they were killing each other! She’s moments away from snapping and killing us all! I just know it!” He pointed an accusing finger at me, trembling in fear like I was going to snap forward and bit it off.

“Oh damn, they’re doing fight club?” If I wasn’t so tired I might’ve joined when we got back, but I just wanted to have a nice shower and ((go to sleep)). A fight club would be fun though, maybe tomorrow I could enter it with Mom if they were still doing it. Oh, we could teach DD how to fight players! That's be good experience for her, and I could earn some-

((What did you just do?!)) -What? ((You just did something that uh- pinged? Something? I need it to happen again.)) Uhhh… I haven’t done anything? I was just thinking about going to a fight club, and teaching DD how to fight players? ((No… Shit. Was there anything else?)) Nothing comes to mind. ((Dammit.))

“Lad, if she was gonna snap and kill us for our gold, she’d've done it by now. The stories are just that- Stories. No doubt you’re tired from running all the way back here, go pack your things and rest up.”

“But-”

“If you have the energy to argue with me, I guess you have the energy to shift the testing vats. By yourself.” The smaller goblin withered under the stare of the Quartermaster, deciding discretion was the better part of valour and retreated with one last defiant look at me.

“If everything’s settled, I’m gonna go see how M-y friend is doing.” Thomas waved me off and Lewis nodded at me before marching off To help pack. I dipped back into the corridor that led to Tunni’s office, and knocked on the door reflexively before I opened it.

Mom was sitting on Tunni’s bed, fiddling with something in her hands. “Are you feeling okay?”

She jumped. “Ah! Shoot, don’t scare me like that honey!”

“I knocked.” I always knocked.

“Oh… sorry, I’m really um- I’ve got the exhaustion condition, I think it’s affecting me quite a bit. Anyway, what’s happening? What made you have to run off and leave your poor defenceless mother all by herself in some stran- Wait what happened to your pants?” Her eyes went wide when she saw my tattered excuse for trousers.

“Acid. Are you okay to stand? I’m sick of this f-fah… fucking cave.” Mom shot me a look but I was too tired at this point. Why’d they have to make the exhaustion in this game feel so real? Some people wanted that shit but most of the time it was just a piss off that limited game time.

“Umm- I think I can but-”

I turned around.

“Thanks pumpkin.” I heard shuffling as she adjusted something. “All done!”

I turned back around and was somewhat surprised to find Mom dressed in her full chainmail bikini. I’d thought for sure she’d broken it, but… there, I could see where the metal had been stressed and un-bent. Mom must have done it while she was waiting. She smiled at me, and I tried to respond in kind, but my heart wasn’t in it.

“Let’s go say goodbye and get on our way. I’m sick of caves. Let’s go to a fort or something next time.”

—xxxxxx—

”We’ll probably be in Rothstragg for a couple of dayz if you decide to ‘ead that way. If not, be zure to azk after me if you ever find yourzelfz in Vvaderglahzt.” Tunni had led us along the path they used to bring in supplies, so the way out of the forest was a breeze compared to going in, which was a Demi-send for my tired limbs.

She released me from her squishy embrace after perhaps a little too long, and waved at us as we walked away, Wubby giving us an ethereal howl to send us on our way. We trod in silence as we made our way towards the nearest trail that would lead us to Lewfring, the sun hanging lower than I’d expected. At least the weather was fine.

“Where’s my hug Alex?” I almost tripped over my own feet when Mom pouted at me and broke the silence we’d been wandering in.

“What?”

“You heard me. You expect me to let you hug some random goblin hussy without getting my motherly dues?”

“Mom she’s not… you’re really getting jealous I hugged an NPC.” I gave her an incredulous look.

“Yes. Hugs now.” She stopped and held out her arms. I deadpanned her. She wiggled her arms.

“Fine.” I held out my arms and she walked over to embrace me. She wrapped me in her arms around me, gently this time so no HP loss, and hummed to herself. I wasn’t really sure why she was so clingy all of a sudden, so I just didn’t think too hard about it and enjoyed the hug.

Eventually she released me and took a step back. “There, all recharged! I bet my big hug was better than that little goblin’s hug!” Ever the competition with her, but I wasn’t sure she’d like the results if I opened my mouth, so I kept it to myself.

“Alex? My hug was better right?” She faltered a little and I took the opportunity to get a head start back to town. “Alex? Honey- wait up- Aleeeeeeeex!”

—xxxxxx—

”Listen, it’s like the difference between hugging a ro- a firm… tree, and hugging a pillow.”

“I can’t believe my own son would betray me like this! What does she have that I don’t, huh?” Don’t say it Alex. That’s bait.

“I’m coming at this from an objective angle, I’m accounting for outside forces and I’m sorry but her one was better. I don’t make the rules!” We were walking through the outskirts of Lewfring back towards the tavern we’d first entered when we’d arrived. I was a bit annoyed because I’d completely forgotten to make a note of the name of the place before we left, so finding our way back was a hassle and to make it worse Mom had brought up the hugging thing again.

“Yes you do! And who are you calling a tree huh? I’m much more like a delicate satin pillow, with frills and embroidery.”

“You did literal hit point damage to me the first time you hugged me, you aren’t a satin anything woman. Look, I think I recognise these buildings.” The sun was dipping pretty low by this point, just barely touching the top of the barrier, not enough for lights to start turning on but close enough to dinner time that the NPCs were starting to head home.

We’d lost half an hour walking in the wrong direction, and the walk back was longer than the walk there. I’d told her about the wolf fight and explained why my clothes were destroyed, and she was incredibly jealous of my new jacket and Indicium. She’d made me promise to run the Wolf Den again when it refreshed.

I was still a little hesitant, but ultimately the goblins would be gone and hopefully Rawry kept his word and didn't ask to have sex with her for her Indicium upgrade quest. I was really glad she hadn’t pushed for any details on what had happened after she’d ‘passed out’ from ‘tranquiliser’, because I was too tired to think of an ironclad lie to tell and I’d need one if I didn’t want her to see through it.

Mom had finished pouting by the time made it to the main thoroughfare, and from there it was just a matter of remembering which direction we’d entered town from. Tougher than it sounded, because I was about ready to fall over.

Even with all our energy saving tricks, the walk had taken it out of both of us. My legs were sore, my feet hurt since my toe-sock/boot things didn’t fit quite right ever since they’d dried, and I was pretty sure I had a blister. I had no fucking clue how or why Mom was still walking in her heels, but she also looked ready to pack it in.

I was almost ready to give up and get a room in a random tavern when Mom put her arm around my shoulders and pointed. “Adventure complete Alex!” I followed her hand to a sign reading ‘The Chilled Poultry Tavern and Lodgings’ hanging on a familiar building.

“Oh thank Gardenia.” We both slumped into each other in relief. This was probably the kind of moment the designers intended with their dumbass realism mechanics, but I would have preferred if it was optional. Games where they weren’t optional were called containment games for a reason, there were some real freaks out there.

Mom squeezed my shoulder. “Thanks for playing with me again Honey. I’m sorry I got knocked out for half the dungeon, but I enjoyed the parts I do remember.” She leaned close to give me a kiss on the cheek, and whispered into my ear. “I love you<3.”

I don’t know what it was. She’d told me she loved me thousands of times before, in many different ways. But this time… I don’t know. There was something in the way she said it this time. Maybe if the other me was here, maybe I could have figured it out. As it was the only thing I could think about was why it made me hard.

Maybe I should be in a containment game.

—xxxxxx—

The tavern was busy for the pre-dinner rush, and not because of Players like Gauge expected. Players only made up his table of friends, Killer-man-Jar, Zakuyo Rambo and E.V.I.L. Ken, and another group of three next to them; the rest of the tavern patrons were NPCs.

His sister Lucy was on stage warming up for a performance to pay for their rooms after they’d spent the entire day fucking around unable to find any dungeons to run and only finding a few enemies to fight, all earnings from which were promptly lost when they bet on some fight club that was going on in the town square.

So all in all an objectively pretty shit first day, but doing it with friends made it fun, and any bumps were joked away. Jay was recounting right now about another disastrous launch he’d been a part of, some game called Netcity or something. Gauge leaned back and took a swig of his drink glancing at some movement at the door, before almost choking on his drink.

Two hotties had just trudged into the tavern, one in heels wearing basically nothing, the other wearing an eye-catching jacket and pants that had been strategically ripped to show off a tantalising amount of her ass on one side. The two sets of jigglemeat wobbled up and leaned on the counter, giving the entire tavern a show that you usually only got when you installed ‘visual enhancement’ mods.

“Gauge? Are you a child? Drink slower, your dribbling.” Zak popped him gently in the shoulder, which made him lower his almost empty drink, but he didn’t stop appreciating the show. “What’s…?”

Zak trailed off as he caught sight of the display at the counter, causing Ken to also wonder what they were staring at, which caught Jay when he realised no one was listening to his story. The other tables started to stare too, and soon the NPCs were all stealing glances at the behinds of the two players, who seemed oblivious to the attention and were talking to that weird wolf-girl Player that had been waiting tables despite clearly having social anxiety.

The tall one with the fatter ass laughed and single arm hugged the wolf girl while stealing her tray of food. She looked like she was going to protest, but the barkeep waved her off and called into the kitchen while smiling at the shorter chick, who he only now realised was an Elf. The barkeep handed the Elf some drinks and they both turned.

There was a bit of a commotion as the rest of the establishment rapidly tried to pretend they hadn’t been burning their retinas by staring at the quad suns the two ladies had displayed. They crossed the room, the tall one sashaying perhaps a little more than necessary, over to the stairs. Both of them stopped at the base, and the energy seemed to drain out of both of them, but the Elf started trudging up the stairs and was followed slowly by her friend.

Everyone got one last good look at her when they thought it was safe to do so before she disappeared, and there was a brief quiet as everyone listened to her heels clack on the staircase, before those faded too. After a beat, several chairs scraped, as multiple men (including one of the Players at the next table, and one woman) all awkwardly half shuffled their way to a corridor that led to the back of the tavern, only for the barkeep to rush over and start yelling about not touching anything and forming a line. Gauge also noticed the Wolf girl blush, and rush back into the kitchen.

“Holy shit. Some players man. Not that I’m complaining, maybe Lucy shou-” Jay went mum as he caught the bard’s gaze, a chill passing over the group. From the stage, a lute strummed as Lucy prepared for the first song in her set.

“This is a little one called ‘Murder On The Dancefloor’, and I’d like to dedicate it to my party, especially my Brother!” Her voice was warm, her smile genuine to anyone looking.

Gauge shivered like someone had stepped over his grave.

—xxxxxx—

Thank Gardenia, Hortunia, and all the other random Demi-goddesses that the Devs had put in completely anachronistic plumbing in this video game. A hot shower would almost make the dumbass realism mechanics entirely worth it. I would still prefer not to have them though, currently having to wait to use the shower after I lost rock paper scissors to Mom made that clear.

As soon as I could use my HUD again, I was going to look through the menus to see if I could turn them off. Failing that, I was gonna bitch on the forums as soon as I could.

“Can you hurry up!? I want a hot shower, not a cold one!” I banged on the door to the shared bathroom of our pretty lage suite. I don’t know exactly how long she’d been in there, but it felt like fucking ages. While I would usually just ((go to sleep)), I was pretty sure the game would leave me in the same state when I ((woke up)). And since I felt like reheated nutri-slop, I wanted a hot shower.

“Ah-! Sorry Alex I’ll be just a second!” There was a bit of thumping and the door opened to reveal Mom wrapped in a towel, looking flushed red and breathing heavily. I quickly squished past her and pushed her out of the bathroom before my tired brain could think about it too hard, closing the door and stripping out of my clothes.

I should have left my mask for last, because as soon as I took it off all the smells that had been suppressed seemed to hit me at once, including the stink of my own sweat and cum. It was unpleasant to say the least, but I had to endure it while trying to figure out exactly how I was supposed to remove my bodysuit.

I couldn’t find any zippers or folds in the fucking thing, so I just used my knife to cut the collar open so I could squeeze out of it. I realised I’d been saying bodysuit all this time, but after pulling it off it seemed a little… smaller? Seiri’s had been a highleg cut, but I’d thought mine covered a lot more than hers. I guess it did reveal the bottom of my ass-

((Wait!!! What did you just think about!)) Huh? Oh, um, our bodysuit. ((Fuck! No, that’s not it… Argh! Fuck it. I give up. What’s happening, where are we?)) We’re back at the tavern. Did you want to re-merge memories? Because the longer you take the more you’re going to diverge. ((Yeah, here, gimme a second…

…

Done. There’s a couple things I left out, we’ll talk about them later, they deserve our full attention.)) There was a slow feed of thought and emotion that bled into me, mostly curiosity and frustration. I’d spent hours looking at numbers I barely understood while trying to figure out and map where certain things connected on a model of… myself. Huh. ((Pretty crazy, I know. I dunno why they coded it like this, but we’re definitely not supposed to be looking at this stuff. Now get in the shower, we fucking stink.))

I spent the next couple minutes talking with myself about what we’d found while cleaning myself off. ((I’ve been calling it a Soul because that’s the easiest way to describe it. It has so many different connections it’s crazy, it’s like they modelled each and every part of the human body. Or, Elf body I guess.))

I thought the game just piggybacked our real world brain for that stuff. Why would they waste time modelling all of it? ((Dunno. Explains why it’s been a buggy piece of shit if they wasted all their time on it. Makes for pretty realistic NPCs though.)) True. What about that other stuff you held back? ((Let’s just enjoy this shower first, I’m fucking exhausted and I’m sure you are too. We can talk about it after.))

I spent the rest of the shower just vibing out, singing duets in my head and focusing on nothing.

…

I shut off the shower after my skin started to prune and started drying myself off. It was a little more difficult than usual, my raised sensitivity making my ((clit)) twitch if I was too rough with my ass. The rest of my skin wasn’t safe either, and by the time I’d finished I was a tad worked up. Which was annoying, because I’d cum so many times today that my tired, stiff ((clitty)) could barely maintain itself.

Maybe I should just go back to my room and Logout, or maybe- ((GOT YOU FUCKER!!! HAHA! ALEX WINS! GET FUCKED DEVELOPERS!)) Jesus Christ! Got what- oh. Oh shit! Nice! ((Thank you thank you, please, save your applause. I’ve managed to jam up whatever that output thing was, now I just need to figure out what it was actually doing.))

Cool, do you need my help with anything? ((Yeah, um, pull up the HUD and look around for me. There might be some differences, or, I dunno. Just look around for anything strange.)) I flipped my HUD up and started scrambling through the menus, trying to find anything out of the ordinary. I ignored a bunch of notifications, had a worried glance at the names of a couple Milestones I’d earned, but hit gold when I found the greyed out menu sliders for all the realism mechanics that I’d never seen before.

Okay, it seems like there’s a bunch of mechanical sliders that have been turned off, there’s a… Global Free Chat function that’s turned off, and… OH FUCK. ((What?! What?!))

The Logout button doesn’t work.

I stood there, stunned. The Logout was busted. I knew this game was a piece of shit, but being unable to log out? That put this on a whole new level. ((A whole new level of MONEY MAKING BAYBEE! WOOOOOOOOOO!!))

The amount of cash we could get from a class action lawsuit against the company wouldn’t be as big as it was the first time Grandma had gotten trapped in a VRMMO for two years, but it wouldn’t be nothing. I’d personally gotten two grand when we’d all been trapped in Tower of the Nerevarine, the best 6 months off of school I’d ever had.

Mom had been worried about it, but I learned more from her and Grandma in-game than I would have from the shitty school modules I usually went to. I was actually allowed to skip the rest of the year, making everyone else in my class super jealous.

Unfortunately, Mom had insisted we install emergency Logout mods on our chairs so it didn’t happen again, but we’d never needed to use them. Until now.

I pulled up my messages. ((I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’m preventing all outbound stuff from leaving, and I don’t think I can make an exception for messages.)) Shit. I have to tell Mom about this though. ((Normally I would agree with you, but I think we should just hit that emergency Logout because every time we think about it it gets harder to hold all this stuff back, and I don’t know what will happen if it gets away from me.))

Alright. Shit. I quickly bit my finger to draw blood and wrote a quick message to Mom on the mirror.

‘Logout Broke. Used Mod.’

((Ow, shit. Hurry up!!)) I’m going, I’m going.

Ahem.

I placed my hands on the sink and looked myself in the eyes. The Mod was activated like a sleeper cell, by a phrase said by specific persons. In my case, that person was me, my Mom, and my Grandma. In the case neither of them were available, or I couldn’t speak, there were redundancies, but I doubted I was going to need those. It had worked every time we’d tested it.

“Boy, that Italian family at the other table sure is quiet!”

…

…

Did- did it work? Uhhh…

“That Italian family at the other table sure is quiet!”

…

((Well, that was a bust. But our soul stopped sending out requests, so… that’s nice I guess.))

Why do you sound different?

((Pot meet kettle. Something probably broke, lets just go find Mom and hope she hasn’t gone to sleep yet.))

You’re rig-

In the mirror, blood trailed down from my nose. That’s not good. I moved closer to the mirror.

I was treated first hand to the extremely unpleasant experience of my body slumping over onto the floor without me. My perspective remained upright.

“((Holy shit!))”

I turned around. Standing behind me was… Me. A Blue Lightning Ghost version of me. I looked down at myself. I was in my Astral Sheet Ghost form, like when I’d started the game, except I had a big hole in my chest like someone had ripped a strip off of me.

We looked at each other.

Then we looked down at the floor, where our body was having a seizure.

“Well. That’s not good.”

Chapter Text

Dallas watched her friend leave with a touch of sadness. Alex had been super nice to her, though Riley was a bit mean, it didn’t stop her from having a great time learning about VR stuff. She’d been worried that they were going to ditch her because she was too annoying, but Alex’s reassurances had assuaged that anxiety somewhat.

Adenia yawned as she sat down between Dallas’s ears. It was so easy to forget she had doggy ears now, so she was always surprised by how nice it felt when the little fairy landed on her head and rubbed them. “You ready to head out kiddo? It’s probably gonna be a pretty long walk, and I’ll need your help to spot when I need to put [Seek and Hide] up, okay?” The fairy patted Dallas’s ear.

“Umm… Alright! I’ll do my best! Ludmilla, follow me! I think I remember the way back!” She psyched herself up. She could do this, she could lead Ludmilla home and complete the quest!

…

Uhh… Which way had Alex said town was? Oh no… She nervously spun in a circle. “Umm…”

“DD? Home’s this way.” Ludmilla pointed in what she was pretty sure was south. Her tail drooped as her face flushed red with embarrassment.

“Thanks Milly.”

—xxxxxx—

”Step right up! Step right up! Who among you are Brave enough to face our current reigning Champ, the Mighty Bahrock Redwood!” Honey put on her brightest smile as she called out to the scattered groups of Players that remained in the main square. The crowd of NPCs was growing smaller, and there were less players that were willing to fight.

The challengers had been coming in at an even pace all day, and she’d been making prodigious use of the built in duelling and betting systems to make bank off rigging fights. All she needed was a little [Contact Poison] combined with [Harlequin Veto] and a ‘I’m sorry! I’m just a clumsy, silly girl’ to tank a combatants’ chances. Though the money was ultimately secondary to the priceless looks on the faces of her victims when they lost.

It would have been even sweeter if she was the one doing the fighting, but she’d ‘lost’ after some real sweaty losers had shown up. She could have taken them, but she was here to blow off steam killing scrubs, not get in actual fights. If she wanted to do that, she’d be outside of the town hunting Players instead of doing duels in the town square.

She just wanted to spend a couple days trashing scrubs and children who shouldn’t be playing VR games, before she had to return to her real life where beating up children was frowned upon. She could settle for knocking her ‘Champ’ down a peg or three with this last fight for today, she just needed one- more- There!

“How about you, good sir? Are you ready to prove your strength against our reigning Champion?! He’s on quite the win streak!” She tumbled up to the fat, mouth breathing fuck, putting in a performance to grab attention from any passersby and make the new challenger feel special. Why anyone would create a character that looked like a fat loser was beyond her, but he was the perfect candidate to trash the current winner.

Just imagining the look on his face when he got trounced by some ugly loser almost gave her a semi-chub

The fat tusked guy gave her an impassive stare, slowly trailing his gaze over to what-his-face in the ring, before looking back into her pale, almost completely white eyes. She stretched her grey lips into her best smile for him. She’d picked ‘Pygmy Goliath’ (Whatever the fuck that was) because the facial structure was close to normal, while still being alien enough that someone caught her faking a smile it could be brushed off as ‘her face was just like that’.

Not that this fat loser got any real smiles from girls, if his character reflected the real him in any way.

“Don’t want to fight him. Fight you.” Great, he was slow too. Or he was a Role Player. She didn’t know which was worse.

“Well, I’m flattered big guy, but I’m not the reigning Champ! I’m not a fighter!” She laughed. She was fairly certain no one was able to call her out on that, the crowd had cycled out since her last bout a couple hours ago.

The Walrus loser looked slowly at Champ again. “I beat him. My prize, you.”

Of course this fat fuck wanted her as a prize. Gross and cliche, how much worse could this get? She giggled politely of course, keeping her disgust off her face, and put on a bit of theatrics. “I don’t think that will work, but I’ll tell you what. You fight the Champ, and I’ll take you on if you win!”

He nodded. She slapped his bulbous belly and activated her abilities, applying the attribute poison and using [Harlequin Veto] to hide its effect. Unfortunately, that meant she couldn’t tell if it applied properly or not, but it had worked on everyone so far, so she wasn’t worried. “Gather ‘round everyone! Place your bets here!”

The bets were rather slim, the odds on the widget not in favour of either of the fighters. The Champ did have a win streak behind him, but the newcomer held himself quite confidently. She closed betting after five minutes, and began her routine to hype up the crowd.

“Alright everybody! On my right: Solid as an ancient oak; on a five-win hot-streak, our current Champ, Bahrock Redwood!” He was a pretty generic looking fighter, only he had red bramble branches coming out of his helmet instead of hair. His armour had some kind of tree symbol on it too, maybe he was some kind of Paladin? She hadn’t actually bothered to read his class and he hadn’t used any obvious Spells.

“And to my left! A newcomer to the ring, he’s a big one ladies and gentlemen! A Tusked terror from places unknown, ah- Jorgun Bigbelly!” Jeeze, pick a lamer name why don’cha.

“Ready? Fight!” She initiated the fight using the in-game HUD, and casually leaned against her table, taking a second while eyes were off her to make sure her makeup was still good with the small mirror she’d stolen from the alchemist in Goldria.

Honestly, it was kind of disappointing how easily she’d done that caper, even though the good stuff had been locked away, she’d made off with enough cash and poisons to work her little betting scheme. The guards hadn’t even shown up to stop her, one had even given her directions to leave the city when she’d asked!

She fixed the strand of black hair that had gotten out of place from her bob, and smoothed out a wrinkle in her loose dark blue jester’s blouse. If only her real outfit stayed this well presented. At least all the brats she’d seen had been pretty well behaved, maybe that was why her outfit was still good and not all sticky and creased.

Adjusting her blue clown nose (Still amazing the class came with one of those, even if she’d had to dye it), she glanced back up at the fight. Tubby was using some weird bone axe with a point on the end, using its reach to prod at and test the defences of the more conventional sword and shield of branch boy. Branch boy seemed to be doing hit and runs, covering himself with his shield and using his rush skill to get in a few hits before retreating from the axe blade.

Fatass was breathing pretty heavy, but it’d probably be another minute or two before Branchy got the confidence to go in for the finish. It was the same song and dance he’d been doing in all his matches, but it was effective, and more importantly he added flair to make it flashy enough for the audience. Maybe she’d ask him to come back tomorrow.

She went back to her mirror for a couple seconds when a cheer went up from the audience. She snapped back to the fight to see Twiggy laid out on the floor with Fatso’s foot on his chest. “Yield! I yield! Shit that fucking hurt.”

Lard lad moved his foot, leaned over and single handedly hauled Leaf hair to his feet. “Good fight. You keep improving. Too predictable.” She gaped at the two of them while stowing her mirror. That Leafy fuck had gotten laid out while she wasn’t looking! Bastard!

“Now, Prize, woman.” Walter Walrus turned to her and pointed. This wasn’t the exact outcome she was hoping for, but it was workable.

“Okay, alright. I don’t know why you're so insistent, but if you want a fight, I can try.” Stupid Fatso wouldn’t take the hint. If he thought this was going to go well as it did against twiggy, he had another thing coming.

“Alright everyone! Our latest winner wishes to challenge little ol’ me to an exhibition match! This will be our final fight of the day, and to increase the stakes, our generous warrior has wagered the clothes off his back against mine! One of us will be going home naked! I sure hope I can win~ Betting closes in five!” That got everyone’s attention.

He accepted the request as NPCs from the periphery gathered closer, even a few players getting interested with skin was on the line. This was good, she could get them to spread the word for tomorrow and bring in more Players. And more Players meant more scrubs for her to crush.

After getting all the last minute bets from people who just showed up (And making a big one on herself, though the odds were stacked against her), she waved at the crowd, making sure to wiggle just enough to be enticing.

She went through more theatrics to hype up the crowd, doing a small routine and running around the circle of spectators, getting people to cheer. She also took the opportunity to stack a few more poisons onto her opponent. Y’know. Just in case.

When she was finally done, they stood across from each other. “Everybody ready!?” The crowd cheered. She started the duel timer and stared into her opponents black, fishy eyes. This would be a nice way to end the day. She couldn’t wait to see his blank expression change into one of despair.

—xxxxxx—

”…some creepy merchant gave it to me. He said it would help with any issues I had in future. I don’t know why he set up in that dark alleyway though, I wouldn’t have seen him if he didn’t call out to me.” Adenia was half listening to Ludmilla talk to DD about what she was doing in the crypt, when she heard something that sounded familiar.

“Wait, hold on. How creepy?”

“Um- what?”

“The merchant. Do you remember what he looked like? Like, how big was his grin, what colour were his eyes, stuff like that.” Ludmilla furrowed her brow in thought.

“He, uh- I don’t remember what colour his eyes were- I’m not sure he ever opened them. It was kind of dark in the alleyway- oh! He was wearing purple! An-and his smile was really creepy, like a little too um- wide. Does that help?” Oh it helped alright.

“DD, gimme that bo-” Adenia turned to DD, who had her nose in the open Summoning Tome. “DD! Fer fuck’s sake girly, close the damned thing!”

DD snapped the book closed in shock. “Huh?! What?! Why!?” Her confusion was palpable, but she acted like a kid caught with her hand in a biscuit jar.

“Gimme that thing! What if it was cursed, you numpty! What would I have told Alex huh?! I let my charge get her soul sucked out by a book?!” She snatched the book and bonked DD on the head with it. Silly girl would get herself killed taking candy from strangers.

“Don’t you EVER open books from strangers! Same goes with accepting Potions, Tomes, Jewellery, Scrolls and never, ever, ever, accept baked goods for free. That goes for both of you!” She pointed her finger accusingly at the two girls, who nodded shakily.

“Good.” After glaring hard to ensure they both got the message, she turned her attention to the book. This had Sailsaime’s ilk written all over it. The Fae knew there was no such thing as free in this world, everything had a price to be paid, one way or another.

Her senses for it were nowhere near as good as when she was in Faeryland, but she could still ‘smell’ Fae Magicks if she knew it was there. And now that she was looking for it, the stink was all over the hardback tome. They were barely even trying to hide it, which just confirmed for her that it was Sailsaime’s crew who had infused it, the lazy bastards.

She carefully flipped the pages, making sure to keep both eyes open for any triggers. It all seemed normal, and no magic from the book had reached out to affect her. It all seemed to be internal to the text itself, the words shifting and changing when she dared glance at them. “You said you can read this Ludmilla?”

The girl nodded. “That section is on the dangers of summoning unprepared. It went into a tonne of detail about making sure your circles were correct, and how to banish anything you summoned with key phrases. I memorised them all, though I never had to use any.”

Hmm… Adenia couldn’t decipher what the magicks were doing, nor what the goal was in giving Ludmilla this strange tome. Sailsaime’s crewmembers were pretty politically neutral in the grander scheme, helping anyone who had the cash.

Since She wasn’t going to get much from just looking at the book and she was reticent to try any of her Fae Skills, weakened as they were, she decided it was best to let sleeping hounds lay; she could talk to Alex about it if he really cared.

She tossed the book back to Ludmilla. “Here, you hold on to this. I wouldn’t read any more of it if I were you, but I’m not your dad, so do whatever you want.” She’d rather no-one read it, but she didn’t trust having it in her inventory; and there was no way she was letting DD hold onto it. The Wolfkin girl was likely to let her curiosity get the better of her.

Ludmilla fumbled with the book, putting it into a pocket on her robe. Adenia still couldn’t figure out why the girl was learning Summoning to begin with, her explanation of ‘I wanted to Summon a Cerberus as a pet’ was a total croc of shit.

Cerberi were terrifically difficult to tame at the best of times, even the ancient Hound Masters of Oberon’s Hunt had trouble keeping the demonic beasts in line. Great cocks though, getting put on Hound Duty during parties was a fun time. Not that she’d been allowed to join Hound Duty for the past 100 parties. Oberon’s Balls, she was getting horny again.

She sighed and laid down on DD’s shoulder. Getting further away from Alex was making it harder to pull Mana from their connection, and she didn’t really want to start pulling on her own energy reserves yet; since despite the fact that she could smell the fragrant scent of dick faintly, they were alone as they wandered the rolling hills.

Hopefully it would stay that way… though maybe it would be nice if she had to ‘bargain’ with a wandering Champion.

—xxxxxx—

Celton_Swiftshooter was annoyed. Firstly, he’d lost a bet with his girlfriend because he couldn’t last long enough in bed, though he hardly felt that it was his fault that her third orgasm had felt too good on his dick. So he was stuck playing this girly ass character, which was pissing him off because it was too damn short.

Secondly, they’d spent the entire first day walking through fucking sewers fighting Giant Goddess Damned Spiders! Harriet knew he was scared of spiders, and despite her protests that she didn’t realise they’d be fighting spiders, he refused to believe her. She just wanted him to jump into her arms like a fucking cartoon character. It was humiliating having to get protected by his girlfriend, all because he was supposed to be playing a ‘cute little Healslut’!

Thirdly, they’d spent the remainder of the evening fucking in the tavern, and he’d gotten a Milestone when she’d made him cum by playing with his ass. That would have been fine (He’d gotten her back by getting her a similar Milestone for her nipples), except it made his ass more sensitive and Harriet had been constantly pinching it while they were clothes shopping, and it was getting harder and harder to hide his growing boner under the small beginner skirt he was wearing!

Who was the Magical Pretty Tincture class supposed to be for anyway? He had to recite stupid phrases just to cast his Spells, and the class must have had a height requirement or something, because the guild was filled with short girls with huge tits. They’d gone on about ‘fighting the Darkness with the Light of the Moon!’ and some other cringe shit that he’d deliberately not paid attention to to preserve his sanity.

He’d been wearing their starter clothes for a day and was already sick of the short skirt and frilly blouse- “Ohmygosh this would look so cute on you! It’s a little bit pricey though…” On second thought he knew exactly who this class was designed for.

Harriet was looking at a frilly something-or-other that she was holding, no doubt planning on dressing him up in all kinds of girly outfits like some kind of dress-up doll. Goddess forbid, he’d have to protect their future kids from her manic desire to dress them up. “What do you think looks better, Pastel Pink or Lavender Purple?”

“Whichever one goes with my current outfit babe.” He grimaced. The higher voice of this character made his sentences sound strange. His expression dipped further when she splayed out the fabric to get a better idea of how it would look. “Can you at least get me a longer skirt if you’re gonna keep teasing me. It’s hard enough to hide with what I’m currently wearing.”

She smirked at him. “Oh, is someone embarrassed~ scared they’re gonna see your little stiffy?” She’d been trying to rile him up all morning and he was getting sick of it. He wanted to actually play the game, if they were just going to fuck in a room for the long weekend they might as well have done it in real life.

“One, My dick is bigger than yours, two, I’m already struggling not to flash everyone on the street, and if you keep riling me up I’m gonna have to do something about it!”

She leaned down, smiling evilly, a touch of blush on her face. “Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it, Little Boy~?”

Oh it was fucking on.

—xxxxxx—

Dallas wiggled her legs. She was sitting in the kinda cramped lobby of the town hall, waiting for an audience with the Mayor. Who also happened to be Ludmilla’s dad. The room was nice, if sorta… out-of-date feeling, like when you went to one of those crap minimalist-style houses built in the 2010’s, like the one her aunt lived in.

The wood panelling was polished, the carpet was nice, the secretary’s desk was a really nice big mahogany-looking piece of furniture that looked solid enough to survive an explosion. But there were little things, you could see wear on the carpet where people had walked, the portraits of old Mayors had all faded with time. And there was the smell of a place that had just… existed for a long time.

It was pretty cool all in all, Dallas was amazed by the amount of details put into the place to make it feel so specific. It was also incredibly quiet, the only sound was the scratching of pen on paper as the really pretty secretary copied something off of a tablet-looking thing.

She wiggled her toes in the carpet, having taken her boots off so she didn’t track dirt all over the floor. Suddenly the secretary’s pen stopped, and she looked up through her glasses at Dallas. “He’ll see you now Miss Champion. Just head through the door there and down to the office at the end of the corridor. You can’t miss it.” She smiled sweetly before going back to her work.

Dallas smiled back and stood, gently waking Adenia who had fallen asleep on her head. “Whazzat? We goin’ in now?”

Adenia stretched cutely while they walked down the well appointed corridor. “Do you want to do the talking or do you want me to do it?” The little fairy readjusted to perch on her shoulder.

“No, I-I- um- I’ve gotta try! Even if I’m a little nervous!” Dallas pumped herself up. She always got nervous and clammy when talking to authority figures, like her teachers and her landlord. And anyone in the service industry. And anyone on the phone.

She shook off all the thoughts that tried to bubble up, and quickly knocked on the door with the silver plate that read ‘Mayor’s Office - Frederick Major IX’. She waited for a couple seconds before a deep muffled voice called out from inside.

Before her flighty nerves got the better of her, she pushed open the door into a cosy office of dark panelled wood. A large desk took up half the room, built much like the secretary’s desk in the lobby, but it was almost dwarfed by the mountainous Man sitting behind it.

Mountainous was the only way she could describe him. Everything about him was huge, even sitting down he was almost eye level with her, his stomach pressed into his desk despite the fact that he was leaning back, his massive hands steepled on his chest. The lower half of his face was covered in a huge mutton chop moustache, it’s deep red matching his caterpillar eyebrows that were so bushy they almost seemed to cover his eyes.

Except the purple-eyed gaze from beneath the bushy brow was sharp. It made Dallas feel small. Like when she talked to that one tenant who lived in the apartment building she owned. Now that she thought about it, the Mayor gave off kind of the same vi-

“So, you’re the Champion who escorted my wayward daughter back to me?” His voice was like thunder, a deep rumble that made her quiver slightly. What had she gotten herself into? “Now, I’d like to hear your perspective on this morning’s events; just to get a better idea of how this all played out.”

Dallas squeaked.

—xxxxxx—

TanuKutie was having a rough go of it. She’d been travelling with two perfect candidates since launch, and they’d even found a dungeon with all the requisite traps a hopelessly horny Raccoon girl could ask for. She’d even naturally fallen into a rope trap that strung her up and exposed her poor little sissy pussy, ready to be claimed by anyone who’d, say, been shot up with aphrodisiacs earlier because their trap detector had ‘missed that one’. It was perfect!

She’d almost cum when their tall lithe Dracokin Wallmaker Tank, BoldButler05, had put his hands on her. And then all he did was chop her down from the trap. No plundering her ass for all it was worth; no threats of exposure if she didn’t do everything he said; he didn’t even cop a fucking feel! Just asked if she was alright, with genuine fucking concern!

That was annoying, but whatever, there were more chances, more traps.

Except it happened AGAIN. Their Spitfire Tinkerer, O’lever Wrench, fell into a pit of RAPE SLIMES! That wasn’t even a joke they were called fucking RAPE SLIMES, and somehow they’d managed to make a clean getaway (well, not exactly clean but you get the idea) after a protracted fight with the monsters.

The rather androgynous looking dwarf had barely even needed the rest of the party’s help, though they’d jumped down after him anyway.

“Hooh! I tell you hwat’, that was a right close one! Almost ran outta fuel!” They were sitting on the edge of the slime pit, which was now a regular-if-slightly-sticky pit from all the half charred slimes. O’lever grinned, wiping grease from his face. “Lucky I had firewater loaded in the her, I’da been fucked without it! Hah!”

Bold laughed politely, but Tee just sulked. Another chance to get fucked up in flames. “You didn’t get any in your mouth, did you Tee? I got a glob in my mouth, and I think it extended my arousal timer.”

Bold had mistaken her sulking for something else. Maybe she could… “Ye-yeah, um- I thi- I got hit with arousal too! If only there was some way to get rid of it!”

“Oh my! Well, I am sure there will be something to alleviate ourselves further in. Dungeons like this tend to have a fountain or some such device that cleanses pesky debuffs like this. All the more reason we should keep moving.” The tank stood and moved to scout out the exit from the trap room they’d fallen into.

How. How could he be so dense!? What was it gonna take to get fucked in the asspussy in this Goddess damned fucking piece of shit DUNGEON!

“You good Tee?” She nodded to hide the desperation on her face when O’lever came up beside her. She couldn’t just beg for it, that was pathetic and she could ruin the small friendship she’d formed with the other members of her party. But… Hnnggh!

Whoever had come up with those fucking Gooner Milestones was absolutley trolling players like her, which was discrimination and she was definitely gonna complain about it on the forums later. It was way too easy to get The World Is My Gooncave, and while being able to basically jerk her cocklet in public without getting caught was nice, only being able to do it ten times before being cut off was a nightmare!

“All clear! Come, we’ll find a way to remove these debuffs and hopefully a way back up to where we were.”

Fareeha hoped the way they removed the debuffs was a gloryhole, preferably with her on the other side.

—xxxxxx—

Dallas finally got through her story under the steely gaze of Frederick the Mayor, feeling like she might turn into a puddle. He silently looked over the Region Quest she’d gotten, and pulled out a pipe from somewhere, lighting it with a spark from his fingers. There was a tense silence (for Dallas at least) as he took several puffs, reading the text multiple times through.

“Ludmilla, I believe I have a better grasp of what happened. While you are in trouble young lady,” Milly withered slightly, “You are not entirely to blame for your actions. As such, you may no longer leave town, you will remain in the house, and if you wish to leave for errands you will do so accompanied by a guardsman who will ensure you are home one hour before sundown.”

Milly’s small dash of hope was ruthlessly crushed as her father laid out her grounding, and she looked at the ground. “Yes Father.”

“Good. Now, I need to talk to the Champion about her reward, and you must be starving. Go ask Jeanne to take you out to get some food. I’ll join you at home after I finish here.” Milly nodded dourly, shakily said goodbye to Dallas and Adenia, and slipped out of the office.

Dallas stood there awkwardly as the door shut with a soft click. She felt like she should have said something in defence of the girl, but Frederick’s voice brooked no argument. He was honestly incredibly intimidating to the anxious girl, making her weak in the knees just by looking at her, so there was no way she was going to speak up against him.

The massive man leaned back and let out a sigh. “Here, show me the bounty notice and I’ll give you your reward.”

Dallas jumped into action and pulled up her HUD, sending him the completed bounty text in record time. “Here you go sir!”

Adenia gave her a look while Frederick’s eyes went unfocused to check the bounty. “Everything seems to be in order… Here.”

”Thank you mister Major sir.” Dallas quickly dipped her head in thanks. “I- um- I’m sure m-my party members would l-like to talk to you w-when they get back- about the- um- th-the e-extra qu-que-quest.”

Goddess, she felt so small when he looked at her, even resting he was still imposing. She was praying that this conversation would end soon, maybe she should have just had Adenia do the talking.

“Yes, I agree, tomorrow sounds wise. I must admit I’ve also been having certain issues in the past weeks that I might need your help with, should you be amenable. Though I suppose it can wait for tomo-”

“Does it have something to do with your dick and balls?”

Dallas slowly turned to Adenia, horrified.

Frederick for his part, blushed slightly and put his pipe down onto his desk. “Ahem, a touch crude madam Fae, but yes. I was hoping your Amazoness party member would be agreeable to helping me with the issue, as from your limited description she sounded as though she was best equipped to handle it.”

Dallas was blushing furiously, hands wrenching her frock. How could Deni just say something like that! “I-I-I-I-”

“I can help you with it! I can smell blue balls from a mile away and you, my dear Mayor, are rather pent up! If you need a good draining, you’re looking at the most premier Onahole on this plane, I can guarantee it!” Adenia fluttered over to lay on his desk, doing a couple poses to show off the goods.

Dallas’s brain just about short circuited.

Frederick smiled at the display, but shook his head. “While I appreciate the offer, I would think you are rather too small to fit me.”

Adenia jolted in shock, before stamping her feet on his desk in offence, putting cute little glittery footprints on the papers there. “Excuse me, what do you mean too small!? I’ll have you know I have over 30,000 confirmed satisfied cocks, a bunch of which were probably bigger than yours!”

“Peace, peace! I meant no offence! I just worry for your safety-”

“Safety!? Listen here big boy, you let me worry about my safety, and you worry about how good you’re going to feel with me wrapped around your pecker.” Deni put a fist on her hip and wagged her finger at him.

Frederick sighed. “You seem mightily determined, so I suppose there is no harm in showing you. You’ll understand why I was hesitant.” There was a click, and the back of his desk popped open slightly.

“Shit, you’re a kinky one aren’cha. Gotta whole setup n’ everything!” Adenia smirked at him.

“My great great great Grandfather had it installed actually, to help deal with the ‘family burden’ while at work. Perks of the office I suppose, though it was his son that added soundproofing.” He spoke casually while his hands fiddled with something under the desk. “Ah, that’s better.”

There was a thump, and Adenia’s smug smirk faltered as she stumbled when the desk shifted slightly. Her eyes went wide as she gazed up at the Mayor.

“Holy Shit.”

—xxxxxx—

Alright Roderick, it’s on that street. Just act normal. No-one is going to notice. He stepped out of the alleyway he’d been hiding in, and strode with confidence toward the store he’d been told to go to by the guard. It had been fucking embarrassing, but at least she’d given him a big coat to cover his shame.

It didn’t stop him from going through back alleys to avoid running into anyone. He still looked like a flasher, his bare hairy legs poking out from underneath the brown coat. Goddess Dammit, why did he have to pick up that fucking thing. Whatever. The store was right there, all he had to do was walk a couple more feet-

His foot caught on something, making him miss a step and sending him sprawling onto his side. FUCK! Stupid fucking tripping demis-damned fucking piece of shit-

He heard laughing and a gasp, snapping his head up towards it. There were two elves giggling at him, and a taller devil looking lady who had gasped. She covered the eyes of the two shorter elves and led them away, to complaints from both.

He looked down at himself. The coat had come open, and his erect dick was displayed for all to see. Well, kinda, it was covered by a translucent blue slime core. You could still see his dick though, and he quickly covered himself back over before furtively looking around. There were a couple other people on the street, most ignoring him, but there was one woman who gave him a knowing smirk.

FUCK. He quickly got up and sprinted the last couple feet into the safety of the storefront. The chiming bell alerted the shopkeep, who called out from the back. “Just a second!”

He scurried up to the counter, hunched over to protect his modesty from any further accidents. The voice left him waiting for longer than he was comfortable with, but eventually an elf stumbled out from a curtain behind the counter. Maybe it would’ve been better to say jiggled out, cause she had a rockin’ set of tits spilling out from behind a brown apron.

“So! What can I do ya for?” She peeled up her goggles and rested them on her platinum hair that had a sort of purple sheen. Her eyes flicked downward.

“Well, I-”

“Oh, ha! Sorry, I didn’t see your coat. What is it, Crotch-clamp, Rape Slime or Bollock-suckle Spider?” She gave him a friendly smile.

Fuckin… Roderick cleared his throat and flushed red. “I’d appreciate it if you could keep your voice lower.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that fella! Everyone knows what people who walk in here looking like flashers are here for!” Her smile never wavered. Roderick felt himself flush even hotter.

“O-okay, fine. I was out in the- um- Ravineous Swamp to- uh- grind slime cores for money, an-and one of them latched itself to my dick while I wasn’t paying attention.” He stumbled over his words a little, but she nodded along with what he was saying.

“Mhmm, mhmm, cool, now what really happened? Did you get a particularly squishy drop? Or was it cock shaped? I got got by that one once.” He flushed a deeper red.

“I-I didn’t- look- there wasn’t-”

She cocked her head at him, still smiling. It was like she could see right through him. He shuddered.

“It was a drop.” He said in a tiny voice.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.” She leaned forward, with a bit of mirth on her face.

“I said, it was a drop. Look, I really was out there for money- it’s just- It was shaped like a- …It’s been a while alright!” His voice cracked with embarrassment and he looked about as red as that devil chick he’d seen outside. It was true, he really was grinding cores for cash, just… hearing about Rape Slimes may have influenced his location choice a little.

“There there, come into the back and lemme see what I’m workin’ with.” She gestured for him to come around through into her workshop at the back. “If you’ve actually got some other cores I’ll take ‘em off your hands, I need them for a special project. Now, coat open!”

Her plush behind squished onto a stool beside a magical workbench, and he got an eyeful of her braless cleavage wobbling about inside her loose white shirt. He probably would’ve gotten hard if he wasn’t already, as it was, it just hurt as the slime core gripped tighter on his dick.

He reluctantly opened his coat, revealing his pantsless legs and crotchal region. The big trouble on little Roderick revealed itself, and the buxom elf cooed. “Ooo, nice cock. Pretty big core too, good colouration, and great facetisation- you sure know how to pick ‘em!”

Roderick wanted to die.

She brought out a magic wand thing and tapped the core a couple times, before grabbing a hammer and gently tapping it with that too. The process continued in a similar manner for several minutes, him occasionally grunting and whining with the pleasurable vibrations, her constantly jotting down notes in a leatherbound book. Eventually, she leaned back and put a hand on her chin.

“Hmm… That’s strange.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Ha! Don’t worry, your big fella’s fine, I just can’t figure out what kind of core it is! You really know how to pick ‘em though, your luck must be pretty high to get a Legendary drop from a regular Rape Slime. You didn’t notice anything different about it?” He shook his head. He didn’t recall much about the slime, it was just the last one of the hundred-ish he’d killed that day.

“Hmmm, well, do you have any Milestones that buff your cum output?”

What the fuck? “There are Milestones that buff your cum output?”

“Ah, all natural, I see!” He yelped and blushed as she honked his nutsack. What the fuck was with this woman! “Well, I’ll need to go down to the Better than Rape Slimes and grab a Cummageddon and Magic Mike potion. Just chuck all your cores onto the sorting table there and I’ll subtract the potion cost from them later.”

She ignored his panicked questions and left the workshop through a backdoor. Leaving him standing in her workshop, pantsless and aroused.

Fuckin…

Whatever. He started stacking Rape Slime cores on the bench, trying to make a pyramid with them to pass the time.

—xxxxxx—

”By The Bard’s Hairy Arse! DD, get your cute little butt down here- I’m gonna need your help! It’s your fault too- we have to take care of it together!” Dallas remembered she was there at the same time Adenia did. Her face felt like it was on fire, spine and legs like jelly, and eyes focused on anything but where Adenia’s voice was coming from under the table.

Frederick gave her a tight smile. “Please don’t feel pressured Miss DD, though I would greatly appreciate your assistance now that I am semi-hard, I can always wait for it to go down on its own.”

“THIS IS SEMI-HARD- DD you have to get down here- I can’t get onto it by myself!”

Dallas felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. This had escalated so quickly, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Half of her wanted to bury her face in her hands and run away in shame. The other half- no- she should leave-

Dallas’s legs gave out before she’d even taken a step, and she slumped to the floor. That was okay, she could just… crawl away. She got onto her hands and crawled forward toward the hidden compartment. Yes, she could just open the desk compartment, grab Deni and leave. Yeah. That’s why she went to her knees.

She swung open the compartment. It was a touch cramped with the Mayor’s massive legs taking up a good third of the space, but there was still enough room for her to squish herself inside the compartment next to Deni. So she could get both hands on her.

“Alright Deeds, I’m gonna need you to grab my thighs and shove me onto this thing. I know it might look like I’m too small, but I can take it, so don’t stop or let go.” Dallas grabbed her small fairy friend’s hips, making sure to get a good grip on them.

Much like the man himself, his dick was humongous. A veiny shaft that literally sagged under its own weight, atop a pair of testicles that were visibly throbbing with cum. It was just like one of her Japanese Hentais, except way too vivid, and there was no way she- no way anyone could get a cock that giant inside them.

Dallas’s mouth salivated- there was no way that Adenia could take it, so Dallas would just give her one good push, and then they’d leave when she realised it wouldn’t fit. Yeah. She put all her strength into it. “HoOoOooOH! FUCK! THAT’S THE SHIT KEEP GOING!”

Adenia, somehow, managed to stretch wide enough to get the tip in. Dallas swallowed. She should stop.

…Just a bit further. Adenia could take it.

She pushed the Pocket Pixie again. The Faery let out a pleasured scream. “HOLY SHIT IT’S LIKE FUCKING A KELPIE! MORE! MORE!”

Beet red, Dallas kept working the fairy down the titanous pole, who screamed obscenities till the bulge in her body reached just underneath where her neck met her chin. After a couple of attempts, turns and readjustments, Dallas just couldn’t get the Faery to go any further down the shaft.

“Adenia I-I-I can’t p-p-push you d-down any f-fu-further. Yo-your head is in the w-way.” The pink-haired cockfiend disturbingly bent her head back to look at Dallas, her inky black eyes manic with excitement. “Spit in my mouth!”

“W-w-w-w-what?!”

“SPIT IN MY MOUTH! It’ll be the extra lubricant I need! I’m a GENIUS!” The pixie cackled madly, before opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue expectantly.

Dallas looked at the faery like she was crazy. Scratch that, the faery was crazy. And so was Dallas, because, using one hand to hold her hair back, she leaned forward and dribbled spit off of her tongue into Adenia’s small mouth.

She giggled crazily, choking on the drool. Dallas readjusted her grip on Adenia’s meaty thighs.

For a second, there was no change, the faery remained stuck. But Adenia wouldn’t accept that and apparently neither would Dallas, who gave a grunt of effort as she shoved Adenia with all her might.

She put a little too much enthusiasm into it, the last piece of resistance in Adenia’s body giving way as the fat cockhead burst from her mouth and smacked Dallas in the face as she overbalanced and fell forward. Adenia slammed home all the way to the base, snuggly fitting between Frederick’s legs. Dallas managed to stop herself from headbutting him in the balls.

She’d done it!- A deep groan came from above the desk. “By Saint Bigsprigg that feels good!”

The reminder that there was another person in the room made Dallas flush an even deeper crimson. What was she doing! What would her dad think about her crawling under the desk of a man who she barely knew and looked to be about 20 years her senior! Sure it was Adenia that had done all the sexual stuff, but Dallas had helped!

“Are you alright down there young lady? That wasn’t a critical strike against your cranium was it? It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened.” The deep concern in his voice pulled her out of her embarrassment spiral.

“I-I-I’m Fine!” She squeaked.

“That’s good, I was worried for a moment. Do let me know if you want me to take over, you’ve helped more than enough.” Dallas was touched by the concern shown by the large man. She’d take him up on that offer, now that Deni was safely attached to his dick. All she had to do was tell him.

…

“That’s alright, my daddy always said I should finish what I started and I wouldn’t want to disappoint him!”

… Huh?

Dallas looked around in horror. She hadn’t said that!

“Now work me up and down his shaft you little hussy, you know you want to!” Adenia’s voice whispered in her ear somehow. A shiver went down her spine. Adenia had used her voice to lock her in and force her to jerk off the large older man. She didn’t have a choice, she’d have to do it now.

Dallas (reluctantly) reached up and gripped Adenia’s waist.

“Good Girl.”

She shivered again.

—xxxxxx—

Ruby checked her makeup in the mirror again. It was subtle, but really made her purple eyes pop against her black hair, perfect for catching people’s attention. She’d probably spent a little too long with the character creator in all honesty, but such was the price of perfection.

She snapped her mirror shut and tapped her three inch black heel against the ground. She probably could have spent longer if she knew there was gonna be a wait to get her gosh-darn class resources. Who knew there would be a line for the freaking Mathmagician class! She’d only picked it because the outfit looked really good on her, and having a high intelligence usually gave you access to a bunch of good subclasses.

She was rescued from her boredom by a heroic figure opening the door and striding into the room. He had obviously spent zero time on his character other than stopping to make his body a literal inverted triangle and maybe change his hair to prince charming 2 instead of default quiff 1.

“Heya! Is this the Mathmagician tutorial offices? The lady at the desk said it was one of these rooms but I can’t remember what she said.” Not surprising, the woman’s rack had the gravity of two colliding planets, it was a surprise the poor boy had even made it to the right corridor.

“Yeah you’re in the right place. Looking for someone?” Mathmagicians didn’t wear the mediaeval equivalent of Power Armour last time she checked, even if his showed off his slutty shoulders.

“Yeah my best friend is playing this class and I figured she might need help, it seemed pretty complex from the miniscule amount I saw from the leaks. I dunno why she was dead set on playing Mathmagician of all things. It didn’t really seem like her thing.” He shrugged his perfectly sculpted shoulders.

“Well, don’t look at me; I picked it because the outfit was cute.” And she was pretty good with numbers in real life, as per her day job. But this cute boy didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, good choice then! It looks super good on your character!” He grinned at her as he grabbed a seat. “I’m Loop_Kero by the way. If you want me to go over what I know about your class, I’d be happy to!”

She couldn’t really tell if he was hitting on her. If he was, it was pretty brazen since he’d said he was here for another girl. But his attitude was closer to that of an excited dog, so she gave him the benefit of the doubt. “Ruby Midnight, and sure, I could stand to learn a thing or three while we wait.”

His face lit up and he began to excitedly ramble about the couple different things about her class. It was actually pretty informative, with a couple insights that the descriptions in character creation had skipped out on. When he ran out of stuff her class could do, he went straight into combos she could perform with a couple of other classes’ Spells.

She was amazed by the amount of knowledge he displayed, especially about a game whose company was notoriously tight-lipped about pre-release information. She even got into the conversation herself, suggesting a couple of combos that sounded neat on paper.

Their conversation was interrupted by the office door finally opening, and Kero’s friend wobbling out on a set of pretty ridiculous heels that she obviously didn’t know how to walk in properly. She was dressed up in a similar outfit to Ruby, but Ruby looked classy with subtle makeup and clothes just a touch tight to show off her small breasts and tight ass.

The other woman was basically spilling out of an outfit that was at minimum two sizes too small, making her look like she was cosplaying as a slutty secretary rather than the dolled-up office worker vibe Ruby had. Her makeup wasn’t doing her any favours either, amateurishly misapplied to her green skin by someone who barely had the know-how to do regular makeup, let alone match orcish skin tone properly.

It was a shame, because she’d obviously spent a lot of time making her avatar look nice; but it was as though someone had told her that ‘this is the kind of thing boys like looking at’, and she was trying her darndest to force something that obviously wasn’t working.

“Heya Miri! Looking… fine- uh- didya get your Spells n’ stuff?” His smile faltered a little as he took in the fashion disaster, but at least he was smart enough to save it at the last second.

“Oh! Hi Keiran- um- why are you here?” The poor thing panicked a little, eyes going wide as she stumbled awkwardly in her high heels. Honestly, who had given her those things, she was like a newborn doe the way her legs were wobbling.

“I came to help you! My tutorial was super quick since I already knew half the stuff they were gonna tell me, and since I figured your class was probably the hardest to learn I’d come help you figure it out! I actually worked out a bunch of stuff talking to Ruby here too!” The other woman finally realised Ruby was here, looking at her for the first time. There was a flash of despair across her face.

Ruby did a little wave.

“Keiran, you promised you wouldn’t do this again! It was supposed to be just us this time!” She did that girlfriend whine Ruby was familiar with, which was strange because he’d called her-

“Don’t worry Miri! When I make a promise to my best friend, I keep it!” Oh this poor girl. “Besides, I don’t think running two of the same class is that good at the early levels.”

Jumping_Froppy (Oh she even matched his name!) pouted a little, but seemed mollified. “Okay, but I’m watching you fucker! No talking to any more pretty girls, better yet, only talk to me!” She punched him on the arm to punctuate her statement, but only ended up hurting her hand.

Keiran barely seemed to notice it. “Alright! Ruby!” Ruby jumped a little in her seat. “Send me a friend request after you’re done! I wanna talk more about class optimization when you get more Spells.” It was so brazen she had to respect it, like he hadn’t even heard his friend’s request. Her offended pout was evidence that this must be pretty normal.

“Champion Ruby Midnight! Please, enter!” A rough sounding voice called from the office.

“Well, that’s my cue. Here.” She quickly sent them both a friend request. “If you see a party that needs a mage, message me.”

Ruby waved at the two of them and slipped inside the office. They were nice, but injecting herself into that situation wouldn’t end well. Hopefully Froppy would confess her real feelings and free herself from the Friend Zone before someone else snatched him up.

She got the feeling that wasn’t going to happen though.

—xxxxxx—

“I cannae feckin’ believe you Deeds! T’hat was my cum! I worked hard fer t’hat shite and you just wen’ and drank et all!” Dallas tried to shrink away from the angry faery as they exited the town hall, looking around furtively to make sure no-one heard her outburst.

“P-p-please keep it d-down Deni! I said I was sorry!”

“Or whet? Poor little Puppy doennae want anyone to ken she’s a GADAI SEAMHAN FRAOCH-ACK!” Dallas snatched the raging faery out of the air, putting a hand over her mouth and sprinting away from the odd looks passersby were giving her. Luckily, the majority of people were focused on something happening in the centre of the square.

Adenia had stopped struggling by the time they made it back to ‘The Chilled Poultry’, but she wasn’t that happy about it. Dallas stopped in an alleyway near the tavern to let Adenia go to float under her own power, bracing herself against the coming onslaught.

“You got alotta nerve, little Miss Cum Guzzler!” She flew into Dallas’s face and pointed her finger accusingly. “Acting all innocent so you can take my hard earned jizz when I least expect it!”

“Deni it wasn’t like that I just-”

“I can almost respect the brazenness of it! Almost. So here’s what’s gonna happen. Alex said he owes this tavernkeep a favour, and I need dick juice to keep my energy levels up. So what we’re gonna do is go in there and offer our services, Understand?”

“W-w-what kind of services?” Dallas had a bad feeling.

Deni gave her a flat look. Dallas shivered again and looked down. “Now, this seems like the kind of establishment that will accommodate us, and I don’t expect you to stay with me all the time, so you can be a serving wench when there’s not a line. Okay?”

Dallas flushed red and looked up at the faery. “Deni I said I was sorry- can’t I just-”

“Don’t pull that whole ‘Oh, I’m sooo embarrassed’ bullshit on me girly, I saw you slurp that man’s cum like it was the last thing you were going to eat, I’m surprised you didn’t cum from the experience.” Dallas squeezed her legs together and broke eye contact. “So you’re not only gonna help me milk dicks in the back, you’re gonna recommend my service menu to everyone who orders something.”

That was too far, she couldn’t give a sex menu to everyone in the tavern! Especially not other players! She steeled herself and looked the pixie in the eye.

“I won’t… um…” He will faltered under Adenia’s hard gaze. “I-I- um- p-p-please not other players!”

The faery looked at her quizzically. “Puh-Lay-Ers?”

She’d almost forgotten she was in a video game. Goddess she was such a pushover, getting ordered to do stuff by people who weren’t even real! “Um- Other Champions. Sorry.”

Deni looked at her with a cocked brow, but ultimately acquiesced. “Fine. You won’t have to give the menu to other Champions. But no complaining if anyone cops a feel. Feeling up a cute little ass like yours will get people in the mood, and if they’re in the mood they’re more likely to make a purchase.”

Dallas really didn’t like the look in her eye, but there was nothing she could do.

—xxxxxx—

”No Derb; it’ll be fine Derb; we hike in real life all the time Derb, I’ve never been lost before!” Derby Daniels wasn’t mad. Not at all. Definitely not mad at his friends who had ignored him when he’d told them they should do the tutorial at the reclaimers guild. But nooooo, “It’s not gonna be any different from real life hiking Derby, trust me!”

His friends all gave him grumpy, tired looks. But they would just have to live with that. This was their fault. “You’d think there’d be context clues like a massive fucking barrier to tell players that this place was dangerous. Too bad there wasn’t like a security check or some kind of guild that teaches people how to survive in the-”

“Alright Derb! I get it, I’m sorry! I thought that was for monsters, I didn’t think the fucking landscape would shift around!” Phelly gave him that pleading look she always gave him when this happened, but jokes on her, her fennec fox looking face didn’t translate the expression properly, so it didn’t work.

He decided to be magnanimous and stop gloating anyway, but it wasn’t because of Phelly!

“Eyes up everyone! I see… something.” His friend Jeice, who was playing a Tracker, called everyone’s attention forward. He’d been on point so far, spotting everything that could give them trouble. Except one monster that had hidden itself until it was right on top of them, which he could hardly be blamed for.

The five of them gathered close, and Derby did a quick check on everyone’s gear. There were no obvious breaks or tears, a couple loose straps on their armour, and dirt absolutely everywhere, but nothing that required his immediate Bash-Forger expertise or Spells.

“There’s something up ahead, it looks like a… building of some kind? Can’t really tell with the warping shit; What I’m trying to say is it looks intact.” The area outside the barrier was… strange. It was like the landscape was made out of ‘chunks’, sort of like in Minecraft, but the closer you got to the edge of a ‘chunk’, the horizon would warp and once you crossed an invisible threshold, the landscape would change completely.

It was pretty inconsistent on where the thresholds were and what constituted a ‘chunk’, sometimes a ‘chunk’ was a forest glade smaller than a football field, ending as soon as they walked into the trees. Other times it was a wintery mountain snowfield, high enough that they were worried about altitude sickness (Luckily the devs hadn’t thought about that one, despite apparently thinking about every other ache and pain in the human body).

They were currently at the end of a low valley between two mountains, and were trying to decide whether they should go out the end of the valley or over one of the sides. This building that Jeice could sort of see wasn’t the first structure they’d seen out here, but those had all been ruined villages and collapsed castles infested with monsters.

“I don’t see any movement…” Enza lowered her spyglass. Derby thought it strange that despite the game having the Scallywag class, they hadn’t seen an ocean yet. “But, well, that didn’t mean much last time either. I vote going this direction though, I really don’t want to go through another desert.” Enza was deathly scared of scorpions, which was made abundantly clear when they’d seen a giant scorpion nest yesterday and had to backtrack three ‘chunks’ before she’d calmed down.

“I agree with Enzi, I don’t want any more sand in my boots, I still can’t get rid of the sand from last time.” Derby didn’t have any sand in his boots, but he was pretty sure that was because of a class passive. Freddie’s Elementalist boots obviously didn’t have the same protections, but he could float during combat, so fair’s fair.

“Personally I’m sick of walking, if there’s monsters in there that we can kill, I think it’s worth it to fight them.” Derby enjoyed walking, hell, he enjoyed camping! But three days of non-stop tromping through strange environments had worn him down.

“Aight, majority rules then. Just gimme a minute to scout it out once we get through.” They all linked arms before walking across the boundary, a safety precaution so none of them got left behind.

You could never tell how these games would try to screw you over.

—xxxxxx—

The ‘Chilled Poultry’ was way busier than it should have been, though Dallas could guess why. She thanked the deities of this game that there were only two tables of players so far, and prayed that none of them noticed her getting pinched and felt up by the NPC patrons.

“Two for table seven DD!” Yenna got a quick pinch of her nipple while she readjusted Dallas’s top and passed her the meal laden tray. Her face flushed, and she thanked the older woman. While she was rather touchy feely, she was looking out for Dallas and continuously fixing her outfit when it got shifted by wandering hands.

Which was a lot, as it turned out.

Everyone wanted a pinch of her ass or a hand down her shirt, the worst was when they dipped a finger into her… pussy… and then made her… clean them off in her mouth. Fortunately, everyone had toned it down when she asked after a party of three Players had come in. They didn’t stop in their entirety, they just got a lot more subtle about it, which made it hotter.

She dismissed her wayward thoughts and pushed through the kitchen door into the tavern proper before Yenna copped another feel of her ass. Table seven was NPCs, so she didn’t feel as nervous talking to them (it was hard to be anxious about what she was saying when they were palming her behind half the time).

She froze when she noticed who was leaning on the bar.

Even looking like she’d just finished a eight hour shift, the bronze Amazon looked stunning, her black hair messily teased into a big mane behind her, like a supermodel who had just ‘gotten out of bed’. The sweat shining on her body enhanced the look of her long limbs and fat ass, giving her a glow that made the bags under her eyes give off ‘sexily tired’ rather than ‘dead inside’.

The exact opposite of Alex, who’s eyes just looked like he’d worked a 12 hour shift with no breaks. He had a new orange jacket on which looked pretty cool, but his trousers looked like they’d been melted by a Xenomorph from Alien: Virgilius. She wished they’d stopped making those movies after Aliens.

“Hey DD.” Alex gave her a little wave and broke the spell their sudden appearance held over her. “Everything go alright with the quest turn in? Adenia didn’t force you to do her work for you did she?” He frowned as he looked up and down at her serving girl outfit.

“Umm- ahah- Hi guys! Y-y-you made it back! I-I- um- I’m just he-helping out! Th-the- uh- the May-Mayor wants to talk with all of us to-tomorrow, h-h-he said we sh-should come t-t-to the town h-hall in the afternoon! B-b-but he p-p-paid me for uh- um- b-bringing Ludmilla b-b-back already!” She would hopefully go to the grave without either of them finding out about what she did earlier in the day.

“Ooo, How much did we get?” Riley smiled at her, and Dallas felt a shiver go down her spine again.

“t-t-t-Two Hundred Mennets.” 100 from the quests and… Dallas prayed her shirt hid her erect nipples.

Riley laughed and wrapped an arm around Dallas. “Look at this little negotiator! You look super cute in your little serving girl outfit btws!” Dallas blushed. There was no way she could know. It was a little strange that the woman was acting downright friendly compared to the last time she’d talked to her, but maybe Alex had said something to her.

“Oh, she’s been a huge help! I’ve never had so many customers pre dinner-rush! Don’t worry about paying for your rooms, as far as I’m concerned you have them for the next week.” Dallas flushed deeper as Harris praised her wenching. Riley took the opportunity of her distraction to steal the meal tray from her.

“Ah- Um-!”

“Don’t worry about it DD. Yenna! Table Seven’s Meal Again!” Harris smiled at her. “Your rooms are upstairs, first on the right. I’ll send someone up to get the dishes later. Here.”

Riley gave her a squeeze as Harris passed Alex their roomkey and some drinks. “Thank you. Where’s Adenia by the way? Is she in the room?”

Dallas just about panic blurted something incriminating, but Harris was quicker on the draw. “She’s helping in the back, but she’ll probably be pretty busy for the rest of the night. Thanks for giving her permission to… work.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Alex.

Alex gave him a gormless look. “Cool I guess. I’ll see you later, I want a shower.”

They both waved before setting off towards the stairs, and try as she might, Dallas couldn’t stop her eyes latching onto their behinds as they both strutted away toward the stairs. It was only when they disappeared from view that Dallas only recognised the absence of bustle in the tavern, having a split second panic that everyone had caught her staring.

When the scraping of multiple chairs filled the room, she realised no one was looking at her. They’d been looking at her teammates.

Oh no.

“Hey, hey! Form a line people! Don’t touch anything until you’ve paid!” Harris ran to get everyone in order as they headed for the corridor that led to Adenia’s setup. Dallas blushed and retreated into the kitchen.

“Heya honey, I’m almost done with the seconds for seven, what happened out there?” Yenna looked up from the meal she was constructing curiously.

“Sorry Yenna, I- um- h-have to go h-help Ad-Adenia in the- um- back.” Dallas squeaked as Yenna smacked her ass as she passed by.

“Naughty! Skipping out on work to go suck dick!” Yenna smiled playfully before turning back to her meal construction. Goddess, her face felt like it was on fire! It was almost worse when they acted so casually about that kind of stuff!

She quickly threaded her way through the back hallway into the ‘giving’ side of the ‘gloryhole’. It wasn’t a very professional setup, just a thin wall with two holes in it set up in a random cleared out storage room that happened to have two entrances. Though Harris had put a pillow in there for her, which was nice.

What wasn’t nice was Adenia’s face as her insides were stretched open, her lower half sticking out of the other side of the wall. “Aye, feck ye-ah big boy! Give et tah me! Make et so I cannae float right tomorr-oh!”

Dallas swallowed as Adenia came, followed swiftly by a groan from the other side of the wall as the anonymous man came as well. “Pleash cum a- hick! Ahh… again… Oh! Heya Deeds! There a big line?”

Dallas quickly folded up her uniform (It was a little too easy to remove honestly) and knelt beside Deni. “Yeah, um- Alex and Riley came back…” She wiggled a little uncomfortably as a the cool air tickled her already erect nipples.

“Oh yeah, I felt Alex getting closer for a wee bit now. Wait, a buncha- Hah! I bet Riley put on a show eh? Hopeless, these people!” She slapped the wall in mirth.

Dallas tuned the Fae out and tried to steel herself. She could do this. Empty your mind.

She pulled back the small curtain covering her hole, and leaned forward so her lips were aligned with the gap, enunciating clearly so the people on the other side could hear her. “Gloryhole two now open, please form an orderly line. Remember that cleaning after using hole one is free, but wait times may vary.”

//////////////////////

BLOOPERS

I checked my options. I’d originally intended to play rogue, but fuck it. Too many choices and I want to play the game now, not later, so I pulled out the ol’ reliable.

Oh yeah. It’s Game Time.

//////////////////////

Guild Mistress Maya’s body flickered for a second before she turned around and casually walked towards the door. What just happened? “Huh? I thought you were going to teach me how Kunoichi fight?”

She stopped at the exit and turned back towards me, swallowing something in her mouth. “I did.”

“What?”

I blacked out from the pleasure of 30 prostate orgasms hitting me simultaneously.

//////////////////////

”Oh My Goddess, I-I am SO SORRY! I don-”

“Ew- get off me you fucking weirdo! Why are you grabbing my ass!” People turned to look at my outburst. “Get the fuck away from me you creep! Hey everyone, this girls a molester!”

The poor wolf-girl looked like she was about to cry, but fuck her, she grabbed my ass for no reason and I wasn’t about to put up with more of it.

“Hey, I know it’s a video game, but that’s not cool lady.”

“Yeah, just because we’re in VR doesn’t mean you can go around groping people without consent you weirdo!”

“I’m gonna go get a guard!”

I beat a hasty retreat as a bunch of other players surrounded the panicking girl. Shouldn’t’ve grabbed me, freak. You get what you deserve.

//////////////////////

Wait a minute! This mask was some weird sex thing! I quickly pulled it off.

“Alex c’mon you can’t just not wear better gear because it doesn’t match your glam! I swear you’re worse than your grandmother!” Mom put her hands on her hips and frowned at me.

“That’s not it! It’s got some weird passive on it called Deep-throat Desire that makes me suck dick if I see someone at full mast!” I was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen in a skeleton dungeon, but I’d been burned by that line of thinking before.

“What? Let me see!” I showed her the tooltip.

“Oh c-cmon, honey! It’s not- s’not that bad! I doubt you’ll see any- um- erect- ah- things in here! You should just wear it. Haha.” She rubbed the back of her head and looked around shiftly.

I squinted at her.

//////////////////////

These Goblins were really bad at guarding stuff. I’d managed to insta-kill every single one I’d come across, and I hadn’t even been seen. I felt like a shark, picking off stragglers as they strayed too far from the shallows into the dark of the ocean.

I wiped off my shiv on the dead guard goblin who had been literally asleep on his feet, and quietly opened the door he was guarding. I quickly padded inside, slipping against the wall to check the corner before silently opening the door.

I was kind of surprised to find Frenchie on the bed, knotted to a wolf. Who the fuck goes back to her room and has sex with a wolf while there’s a known hostile in the area? I’d thought this setup was pretty sophisticated, but I guess someone else must be the head honcho, because this Goblin was far too stupid.

Two quick shivs and it was over, and I wiped my blades off on the wolf before checking my notifications.

Nice. Now, I just had to get Mom out of here without getting raped. Worst comes to worst, I could probably just kill her and bring her stuff back to town. I whistled as I twirled my shiv on my fingers.

Nothing like a little genocide to clear your head.

Chapter Text

“((Obviously it’s not good; What the shit happened!?))” Blue Alex gestured forcefully at our spasming body.

“I’m pretty sure you’d have a better idea than I do. Was it something to do with one of those things you were holding back maybe?”

“((No, that was just some Milestone stuff, none of them would’ve caused this- are you feeling okay? You seem awfully calm for having a hole in your chest.))” I looked down. The hole ran down the middle of my ghostly robes, like someone had torn a strip off them. You could actually see right through me and out the other side, the edges of my insides a swirling black ink laced with auroral colour.

I stuck my hand/sleeve through my back so it poked out of my chest.

“((Lmao.))”

“I would say it feels funny but I don’t feel anything. The world is kinda greyscaling at the edges but I think that’s because-”

A girl appeared at the head of our body, seemingly from nowhere. She was wearing a huge white t-shirt that went down to her knees, which were covered by black and purple knee socks. Long purple hair hung limply down past her shoulders, and I could immediately tell it hadn’t been washed in a long time. Her huge round glasses framed a meek looking face, cute, but huge bags under her eyes and cracked chewed lips ruined her look.

Or enhanced it really, if you were into short, flat chested neets who couldn’t take care of themselves. She actually looked a lot like the rare cryptid like photos I’d seen of my Grandma when she was young, hunched over a computer in a dark room, her surprised fearful expression one to one. The only thing missing was the devastating cameraflash-bang highlighting her face.

I waved the sleeve that was still inside my chest-hole.

Her eyes flicked from me to Blue me rapidly, then down at my shuddering body. “What did you DO!? What hap- Why- How are there two of you!?”

“You a GM?”“((Game broke when we tried a forced logout.))” “Wha- wait, what do you mean ‘forced logout’?! You shouldn’t be able to-” She pressed her lips into a thin line and her eyes went wide.

“I- um- can you explain to me exactly what happened to cause this- and tell me where this dupe came from.” “((Rude, I prefer Double thank you very much.))”

We both gave Blue Alex a look as he floated back and crossed his arms indignantly.

“I tried to log out using an emergency Logout procedure on my VR setup. I dunno why it didn’t work, I guess you guys have some weird software that broke it? Which is illegal by the way, you have to rigorously test all the market-grade emergency Logout mods so stuff like this doesn’t happen. The Double is from a Milestone called, uhh… [Two Track Mind], but I think it might be broken or the description on it is wrong because I don’t think it said anything about creating a mental duplicate. Not that I’m complaining. About the Duplicate. I am complaining about the Logout thing.”

Her eyes flickered rapidly over a tablet thing she pulled out of thin air as she listened to my explanation. “You said [Two Track Mind], right? That shouldn’t- there’s nothing after… I think there’s something wrong with your logs, can you pull up your GS and show it to me?”

I went to pull up my HUD, but got… nothing. “I can’t, sorry. Something must be wrong with my system or whatever.”

Her eyes snapped up towards mine, and I could see a touch of panic in them. “What? You should always be able to access your GS, well, it might hurt but it’s literally stitched into your- hold on.” She looked at the hole in my chest before scanning quickly over the rest of my ghostly robes.

The way her mouth twisted, she obviously didn’t like what she found. “You said you used a Logout Mod? Like, for your- um… interface… device? Your- uh… hardware? I mean. And it was physically a part of it.”

I gave her a confused look that was probably lost in the dark depths of my hood. “Yeah- I mean, it obviously has a software component too, it’s the Artful Blade Shield mk.III.” At her blank look I went into a bit more detail. “It uses a ripcord to detach the mind from whatever system the game is using and flashes my memories back into my real life brain to be experienced as dreams. Pretty standard, but the mk. III has improved experience retention than later models, to the point where almost no memory is lost if you stay off of VR for a day or two.”

The GM was giving me that deer in the headlights look that meant I’d gone too deep on the subject. Strange they had a GM that didn’t know this stuff though, but I suppose they’re generally more community minded than technical.

“Um- I- ah- okay- I need to bring someone else in and- um- just, wait here please!” She pulled up her tablet and her fingers blitzed over the ‘screen’ as she took a step over to the corner of the well appointed bathroom.

I looked at Blue Alex, who shrugged and folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in the air. I took his cue and leaned back on the sink.

…

After about a minute of waiting there was the clacking sound of heels on porcelain and the door to the shower slid open. “Gardy, I was watching some hawt gloryhole action with these two little sluts, and by little I mean one of them was a Pixie but she was going at it like her life was on the line, so this better be fucking good and not another false alarm.”

A massive set of tits wobbled out of the shower cubicle, and to my surprise I recognised them. The Goddess lady who had been at character creation stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel like she was filming a shampoo commercial.

An R-rated shampoo commercial the way it barely covered half her gargantuan globes, a large amount of areola peeking out of the top set, and a belt might have covered more of her ass. I was lucky I was having an out of body experience, because otherwise it would have been rather obvious what I was focused on. Actually, why was she here? Or better yet, if she was a GM why was she at character creation?

“Cendi! I told you that wasn’t a false alarm; that Champion almost- whatever- come over here so the Champion doesn’t hear. No eavesdropping! Either of you!” The smaller GM pulled the big woman into the corner to conspire, causing her to bend over slightly so they could whisper to each other. This inadvertently derailed my train of thought for obvious reasons.

They whispered for a while, occasionally shooting glances towards me/my body on the floor and I’ll admit I kinda lost track of time staring at the display. At one point the smaller GM, Gardy, grabbed the bigger one, Cendi, by the nipples and twisted before pulling them down and releasing so her planetary bodies bounced up with their insane perkiness to smack her in the face.

I wasn’t sure why that happened, but after a bit more whispering they both turned back towards us, Cendi red faced and on the verge of tears while Gardy had the familiar look of pissed off exasperation.

“So, Lex, me and my sister are going to fix this together, but first we need to get both of you reattached to your body, so if you could just lay down beside yourself I’d appreciate your cooperation.” She gestured to my body that was currently still occasionally twitching on the floor.

Something about her tone suggested I follow her instructions, so I quickly floated down to lay next to my body, Blue Alex following a bare second later. “Okay, what now?”

Gardi stepped over to stand above my head, dragging Cendi over to stand by my feet. She gazed down sympathetically. “I’m really sorry about this, but it’s probably going to hurt. If you want to blame someone, blame Cendenia, all this is basically her fault.”

“Gardy!”

“((Wait, what do you mean hurt?!))”

“Is it too late to back out?!”

Luckily, I don’t remember the next bit.

—xxxxxx—

”…ex, you wake the fuck up right now or so Mab help me I’ll… I’ll… I’ll do something okay!? And you won’t like it! Dammit, I shouldn’t have given such an ironclad contract. What a thousand years of no cock does to a girl…” Something landed lightly on my chest, but it felt like a spear stabbed through it.

I immediately shot up, eyes wide in panic, hands clutching my chest. Fuck! Shit! Me, are you there!? Where are we!? What happened!? ((Ow, yeah, fuck! I’m here, I’m here, I’m awake! Fuck that hurts!))

I disorientedly looked around the unfamiliar room I was in, a small bedroom of some kind, laying on a bed. Okay, okay, thoughts in order, what’s the last thing we remember? ((Getting out of the shower and… something else… did we talk to to that goddess lady again or just jerk off thinking about her?)) Crap, don’t say that I’m already picturing her ass again… maybe it was a dream? ((Must’ve been a pretty good one judging by our clit.))

“Alex you fuck! Think you can just tumble me into your bed, you-! Shite! Um- ack!” A small voice cried out from the sheets piled at the end of my bed where I’d thrown them off in panic. “Alex I’m sorry- shit- can you help me out- I think I’m stuck!”

I reached over and gently tugged the duvet away from my familiar, who had somehow gotten herself completely wrapped in the sheet. Her face was flushed pink, her pink bob unkempt like she’d just gotten out of bed, her cute little pink wolf ears flat against her head.

Wait. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. “Why do you have wolf ears? Did you catch something from DD?” I also noticed a fluffy pink tail poking up from behind her.

“No, you fuckin’… those are your fault! Something about being a part of the pack! Look what you did to me! My whole aesthetic is ruined! I’m a Faery Queen, not a puppy! Now get me out of this sheet you asshole!” She squirmed, but it just wrapped her tighter into her predicament.

“Alright, alright, stop moving, you’re making it worse.” It took me a minute to unravel my Familiar from her mummification, removing her wings and tail was a rather delicate task. ((Is she… Did she get bigger?)) What do you mean? ((I… I dunno, ignore me, my perspective is probably wrong.))

Finally, Adenia was standing at her full… foot and a half of height? Pouting at me as she attempted to straighten out her hair. “Just ‘cause you helped me doe’n’t mean I’m not mad! Ack- I’m gonna havtah get a brush, do you think they sell faery sized brushes in town?”

“Well nice to see you too Adenia. You didn’t have any trouble bringing DD back I hope.” I gently prodded at my chest, and there was a slight ache but nothing as bad as before when I assume Adenia landed on it.

“Yeah yeah, nice tah see you too an’ all, no we didn’t have any trouble. That girl is a real trooper, even helped me out into the wee hours with the gl-stuff that the innkeep wanted help with. Sorry I dinnae come out tah see you last night, by the time I was done you were already asleep.” She gave up trying to tame her tail fur and turned toward me.

“Don’t think you can distract me Alex! What the hell is this!” She waved her arms at her new ears, sending her sizable (for her) tits jiggling… ? ((Maybe you should get her to deal with our morning wood.))

“I- um- I’m not sure what- actually, wait a second… yeah it’s probably because of my indicium’s active ability.” I quickly pulled up the quest reward and showed it to her, the headache-inducing amount of notifications waiting for me added to the pile of things I was studiously ignoring.

Adenia let out a whistle. “Hound’s Breath Alex, whose dick did you suck to get this one?” “No-ones.”

I was a fraction too fast in my response, and I had to school my face into neutrality as Adenia’s frowning pitch black eyes locked in on my red ones. FuckFuckFuck I need you on this one! ((Brother I am barely holding down our blush; We don’t have our mask on!)) Shit- Uhh- “I got it by soloing the dungeon boss-”

“Alex I was making a joke, did you actually suck someone off to get this?” ((Shit she’s good, I was controlling our micro expressions and everything.)) “I can smell the cum on your breath- I thought you just gave your Mom blowie.” ((Oh, well. That’ll do it.))

I felt heat reach my cheeks as I gave up controlling my body’s reactions. Of course she could smell the cum on my breath, if only I could remember why I didn’t brush my teeth last night. Is this salvageable? ((You can probably do some damage control, but whether it’s worth it or not is another question.))

“W-wait, how would I have given her a b-blowie, she’s a woman?” I said as smoothly as possible. Honestly I’d rather her know I sucked a giant wolf cock than even suggest I had any kind of sexual interaction with my Mother.

“Oh, you don’t know? Riley is a Futanari. I could smell the cum sloshing about in her fat sack the moment I met her; if you didn’t notice it’s kind of my thing.” Leave it to me to get the one Familiar that can actively smell cum in all its forms. Hiding my Cum Alchemy from her might literally be impossible ((And pointless. She’d be 300% down to help with that.))

“Anyway, who was it? I’ll be honest I’m a little miffed you did it without me, but it’d be a bit hypocritical for me to complain about that.” I gave her a curious look.

She responded with a look of her own. “Share yours and I’ll share mine.”

—xxxxxx—

I would love to say I got through my recount of yesterday’s… sexual escapades without stuttering or blushing, but it’s pretty hard ((heh)) to make what is essentially a cocksucking report about yourself straight faced. ((Not gonna lie though, I thought it was pretty hot.))

I’m not sure if Adenia’s reaction made it worse or… no the fact that she didn’t believe me, and made me show her the Milestone I got to prove that I took a ‘fat fucking dog cock in my tight little throat’ definitely made it worse. ((Just ignore how hard my clit squirmed.))

“Pan’s puckered arse, I can’t believe I got shown up in dick sucking by someone who wasn’t even trying! I’m literally made for it, and I get shown up by someone who got put into the world yesterday- or, two days ago- actually, aren’t you the soul of a Champion from an age past? Must’ve been a huge slut if she could beat me in dick suckin’.” She harrumphed again and crossed her arms under her tits.

Despite the fact that my face was hot enough to cook breakfast on, I hadn’t forgotten our deal. “Alright, I shared, it’s your turn.”

“Ohw, alright, deals a deal. Don’t go telling Deeds I told you this mind, I get the feeling she’d either go insensate or cum, maybe both.”

“What does DD have to do with this?”

“She’s a cum stealing whore is what she is, little bitch acts all cute but you should’ve seen her last night…” Adenia proceeded to regale me with a tale I could scarce believe if I hadn’t had first hand ((and mouth)) experience with the Mayor’s daughter.

“…so, obviously I push it as far as it’ll go- I feel a touch bad about this one, but she obviously wants it- too shy is her problem- anyway, I tell her to wench for the tavernkeep, and make her push a ‘menu’ for my little setup in the back! Hah! Should’a seen her face, I was afraid she’d cum from the thought, the little slag!” We’d moved to the bathroom so I could brush my teeth and Adenia could attempt to style her hair.

It was a little hard to focus with her sexpot body jiggling on the countertop, and the raunchy story she was telling about how they’d sucked the Mayor’s dick wasn’t doing anything to make my morning wood go away.

“You should see her go at a cock! Sucks the things like she needs them to live that girl, Goddess forbid she gets her mouth on your little pecker, elsewise I’ll be in a run for my money!” She turned toward me, giving up trying to brush her hair again. “Speaking of which, you’ve been eyeing me up all morning and while I appreciate being appreciated, you should really just pick me up and use me to deal with your stiffy.”

((Rather forward)) I choked on the mouthwash I was swilling, which I’m sure was her intent. After hacking up and spitting out the mouthwash, I gave her a withering look as she laughed. “Sorry Alex, I couldn’t resist! Hah! Aaaah, you’re too fun to tease, the way the tips of your ears go red is very cute!”

She wiped her eyes as I tried to get my breathing back under control. “I was serious though. You should just grab me and fuck my shit up when you feel the need. Or even when you don’t, just do it anyway, I won’t complain.”

“Couh- couh- coh- Ahem, I can’t just- just grab you-”

“Why?”

“Because…” ((I mean, she is our Familiar. It’s not like she can say no.)) “It doesn’t feel… right.”

Adenia frowned at me. “Alex I know I’ve said this a couple times now, but I am the literal embodiment of a pocket pussy. I was born to be used by people to jerk themselves off- and since I’m your Familiar, my pussy is moulded explicitly for you! If you grabbed me without a word and raped me until I passed out, I’d thank you when I woke up. It’d be a compliment!” She threw her arms up in exasperation.

((Alright, I’m taking over.)) What? Wait! What are you doing! ((I reached forward and grabbed the pocket sized slut by the waist while undoing the belt holding my sleeping robe closed.)) I- ah- fuck it, you’re right.

“Fuck yes.” Adenia grinned as I pulled her toward my crotch. My ((clit)) as hard as it was gonna get, which was a bit disappointing three and a half inches. “Gimme that little prick!”

I shook off any trepidation or hang ups about my size and slammed her down on my hips, immediately feeling the tight pleasure of a pussy made explicitly for me. ((Fuck yeah, that’s the stuff.))

I focused mostly on my own pleasure as I mechanically worked her up and down my ((clit)), but after a full minute of trying I still couldn’t cum. This usually only happened when I was edging, but I was definitely feeling more than enough pleasure to have cum normally. “Gee Alex, you’d think you’d be better at jerking yourself off!”

I slowed as Adenia giggled at me, unsettlingly without moving her mouth. “I know I feel good, but you’re not big enough to make this work for you.”

I was instantly mortified. Was she saying my dick was too small? Oh Goddess, it was all my fears made manifest ((though it is making us harder…))

“You’re not just fucking your fist, you’ve gotta squeeze me in the right places- here, just let me…” She grabbed my fingers and shifted them around on her body. “Gimme your other hand. Now just- you feel those soft spots at the base of my wings? Move your hips- Slowly! And when your balls touch my ass, squeeze! Yep! Aaah- fuck! Just like that!”

Under her directions I managed to cum pretty quickly, blasting out a surprising amount of cum despite the amount of times I’d cum the day before.

“Hoooh, that’s the stuff Alex, gimme that knife ear jizz! Fuck, just what I need first hing in the morning, I almost forgive you for giving me wolf ears.” Adenia lazily floated over to the sink while I took a breather to rest my arms.

“Thanks for that Adenia, I- um-”

“No need to thank me for anything, I’m just doing my job. You should make a habit of that, I could get used to having Elf cum for breakfast.” She patted her belly and licked her lips.

“I- uh- yeah, maybe.” It was a good idea, it would keep me on her good side and hopefully nip any errant thoughts that might crop up during the day in the bud. Just… “uh- I hope I’m not too- um- s-sm-”

“Alex I know what you’re going to say and no, you are not too small for me. Unlike some people” She gave me a pointed look which sent me bright red again “I’m not a size queen. Big dicks are great, but it’s not the be-all end-all.”

“B-but did you cum?”

She smirked at me. “Aren’t you sweet, thinking of me. Yes, Alex. I came multiple times. It’s pretty easy to push my buttons, I came when you grabbed me.”

She giggled as my face flushed again.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

I sifted through my notifications while waiting for my porridge to cool. I was a little worried about what incriminating evidence I’d find in my Milestones, but what I didn’t expect was a note from the GM Gardenia to clue me in to what had happened last night.

((Wait, so that was real???)) I guess?

My memory after entering the bathroom yesterday was completely shot, the only thing burned into my mind was staring at the towel clad rear-end of the voluptuous goddess, who I was now pretty sure was Cendenia, and I kinda remembered what Gardenia looked like.

Weren’t you doing something with our ‘Soul’ or whatever? Was that what caused the ‘Total Soul Rejection’? ((You know exactly as much as I do I’m afraid.)) Well, I guess we’ll just have to hope that this skill is worth it. ((I’ll try to be more careful next time I go poking around.))

I finally got to read the Milestones I’d gotten for sucking off Rawry, though I double checked that my HUD was still hidden from other people before I pulled them up.

They were basically what Tunni had gotten, so they weren’t new to me, and were actually useful outside of sucking dick, which was nice considering how I’d gotten them. The next one… not so much.

Basically fucking useless unless I want to go around sucking off shopkeepers for discounts- which I don’t! At all. ((Yeah, we have Adenia for that, kinda doubling up our skillset.))

After those Milestones the notifications got strange. The only one even vaguely readable was near the top, the rest turning into a jumble of symbols and static as they went on.

Apparently I’d gotten a new Spell, and if I were to guess it was what caused the GMs to pay me a visit last night. It was in my Spell list, and I could feel the way the magic interacted, it just felt… different from my other Spells. This one didn’t use Mana. ((I’m not sure I really want to find out what it uses.))

After making sure there was nothing in the corrupted notifications, because you never know, I stretched my arms and checked the window. It was still dark outside, but there wasn’t a clock anywhere so I didn’t know what time it was. ((Whose dick do we have to suck to get a HUD clock, eh?)) Please don’t.

It didn’t look like the sun was gonna rise anytime soon, and I didn’t really want to bother the four NPCs quietly chatting at the bar. Maybe I should just go back upstairs and Logout, or Adenia might be up for another ro- Ack! ((Ow! Oh. shit.))

Bastard that hurts! Fucking dumbass GMs and their shitty code! ((Fucking owowow! Why would she do that!)) “Alex? You okay?” I focused on Adenia’s concerned look to stop the world from spinning and took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’m- ah- fine. Just a bit of a headache, I’ll be okay.” She didn’t look convinced, frowning at me. Which was bad, because there was no way I was going to be able to explain it to her without using certain words that we aren’t going to think about. While the first pain spike hadn’t been that bad, it ramped up pretty hard when I read the other words in that message.

((The other words that we are not thinking about or telling anyone about. I know you’re thinking of ways to get around this and I’m putting my foot down!)) Come on, we can at least try to- ((No Alex!)) Is this me speaking or the Champion… uh… Combination? OW! Fuck, Come on! I hadn’t even finished!

((To answer you, yes it’s the… uh… thing- OW! Motherfucker! And it is very sensitive to our intent, as it is literally a part of our mindscape. It’ll take some work to get around it if at all.)) Fine…

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re making a lot of funny faces.” I grimaced again.

“Yeah- sorry, I can’t really talk about it, it’s a Champion thing.” That seemed to mollify her a bit more, and after one last look at me to confirm I was okay, she went back to unsuccessfully combing out her hair with her fingers.

My porridge had cooled down enough to eat, so I spent the next little while eating and planning out hypothetical builds I might want to do with the Milestone Points I had. It was nothing concrete, without actually seeing the Spells and Skills I could buy it was all abstracting what I’d seen in my Milestones and the current Spells I had.

My musings were interrupted by the stairs creaking. Mom was halfway down them, trying to step quietly so as not to bother the other guests with the loud clacking of her heels. I dunno why she didn’t take them off, but it took her a full minute to get down the rest of the stairs, and I took the time to give her a once over.

Her muscles were well toned, complimenting her tanned skin and really giving her a whole Barbarian Amazoness look, despite the fact that she was ostensibly a Paladin. Her massive mane of wild black hair didn’t really help dispel the barbarian allegations, though it did look quite nice now that she’d cleaned and combed it a little.

Her heels were… tall, giving her an extra seven(?) inches to her already prodigious height, placing her above seven feet tall. I still don’t know how she was even walking in those things, let alone fought in them yesterday. ((That burnished steel does a lot to make them look like battle ready footwear and not stripper heels.))

She stopped to look around at the tavern at the bottom of the steps, and upon spotting me a familiar smile split her face. Still the same ol’ Mom, with the same beautiful high-cheekbones and pretty lips that she still insisted didn’t belong in fashion articles. Her green eyes had… something about them though. Like the light itself was constantly gleaning off them at just the right angle to make them pop.

She confidently strutted over to where we sat, her graceful movement making little noise at odds with the visual of steel on wood. The illusion was slightly ruined when the stool she pulled out creaked as it was swallowed by her… gratuitous behind.

“Sup Cutie, you come here often?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes, causing her to bust into giggles. “Sorry Honey, your Avatar is just too cute, I couldn’t resist. Did you sleep well? How long have you been up?”

“Not that long, ab-little over half an hour, Adenia was annoyed with her new ears and woke me up to complain about them.” Said faery poked out her tongue at me and made a face.

“Hmm, they do look like a nightmare to brush. Might need to get a specialty brush for them- probably one for DD too if they’re at all similar.” She gently rubbed a wolf ear between her fingers to feel the fur.

“Oooooooooh, fuck that’s good.” Adenia’s eyes just about rolled up into her head, but Mom stopped her ministrations abruptly.

“Language young lady!”

“Young lady? I am older than…” Adenia locked eyes with Mom. It was a battle I’d tried to fight before, one I was sure Adenia would lose. I was right. “Yes Mum, sorry Mum, won’t happen again.”

Mom released Adenia from her deathglare and looked up at me, opening her mouth to say something- only to be interrupted by her stomach growling. Her eyes darted down to my half full plate of porridge and then back to me. “Pardon me Sweety, I’m gonna go get some food.”

She got up and sashayed over to the bar, leaning over to talk to Cutter, the Son of Harris the Tavernkeep manning ((boying?)) it.

((Damn.)) Adenia let out a quiet whistle and the NPCs at the bar leaned back as one, the one on the far end almost toppling off his barstool. Huge, perfect globes wobbled as she shifted her weight back and forth while deciding on which of the two breakfast options she was going to get.

((She has to be doing that on purpose right?)) And after I asked her not to. ((S’pose it’s a bit difficult not to in those heels.)) Yeah. It’s not like I can really complain, I haven’t exactly been keeping it on the level. ((I’d let it go if I were you. Which I am. I know you appreciate the view.)) Shuddap. Whatever, as long as we don’t get to the stage where she’s putting on ‘performances’… Remind me to keep her away from the hard stuff. ((Noted.))

A glare from me sent the four rubberneckers quickly turning back to their food as Mom walked back to the table. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do for Carver, who was stealing glances as he made his way into the kitchen as slow as humanly possible. It was too late for him, the poor boy was doomed to have an Amazon fetish he would have extreme trouble fulfilling, especially without the internet. ((Not that I’d know anything about that.))

The stool creaked again as Mom sat down. “I wish we had a HUD clock, I have no idea what time it is. Anyway, did you find out what we need to do to level up our Spells and stuff?”

“Yeah, I asked Carver about where the nearest Goddess Statue is, apparently it’s near the edge of town.” Kinda strange, I would’ve thought it’d be near the Demi-goddesses temples or closer to the market where players would be hanging out, but I wasn’t a town planner so what did I know.

“Okay, we’ll go there first so you can spend the rest of the day ‘theorycrafting’ while we hit the shops.” She made air quotes with her hands when she said theorycrafting, and I glared at her.

“What you think builds for us are just going to appear on the internet? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but…” ((Whoa Whoa, slow down there buddy, gonna say something that’ll hurt.)) “-but um- there are Skills- and uh- stuff that are… Milestone dependent? At least, I think they are. An-and that could make online builds really hard to follow!” ((Might have to take the L on this one.))

Mom shook her head. “You and your builds Alex, I swear. I doubt there’ll be anything that important you can figure out this early, but go ahead, I’m sure you can figure out a better build for me than I can get off the internet.” I recognised the smirk she gave me, one I’d seen many a time before, when we’d had this same conversation before, and she was doing it to wind me up.

((Let it go Alex, let it go.)) I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. I was annoyed I had an answer that I couldn’t even think about, but I was right, better to let it go. “I know you’re baiting me, and I won’t fall for it.” I grabbed my spoon and continued eating my breakfast.

Mom pouted. “Don’t be like that Alex, I was only-” “Ahem- Excuse me- um- f-food for you Mommy- Imean- Mom- Imean- Ah.” The blushing boy placed two plates of food on the table in front of Mom.

“Aww, thank you Sweety.” She gave him a saccharine smile and blew him a kiss.

He went bright red and hunched over, mumbling something before beating a hasty retreat into the kitchen. Adenia and I tracked his escape, before looking each other in the eye. A wordless communication happened between us, the same thought shared between Master and Familiar.

That poor boy.

—xxxxxx—

“Hey DD, you awake yet?” I approached the lump on her bed where I heard her groan. “Cmon, it’s light out and I ordered you breakfast.” She groaned again as I pulled the covers back from her face. Her hair was an absolute mess, but she did look rather cute in a puppy dog kind of way. “Mmmmn? Breakfast?” She yawned and opened her eyes. “Oh, hi Alex… where? Oh yeah…”

She wriggled and sat up, stretching and causing her duvet to fall down to reveal her… nighty? The sheer fabric was covered in cute paw print decals, making a weird juxtaposition between sexy, tantalisingly close to see through fabric draped off her well shaped breast, and cute paw prints leaving distracting trails all over said fabric.

She made it work, but where was she getting all these paw print clothes from? First her choker from the loot, then the tavern wench outfit, and now her nighty. Does she have a Milestone or something?

DD yawned again and slowly crawled out of the bed, shaking me from my trance and sending a small blush running up my cheeks. “Mmmmmmm, breakfast…” Luckily she didn’t seem to notice I’d been ogling her, but I had to put a hand on her shoulder to stop her from giving poor Carver another fetish.

“DD maybe brush your teeth. And put some actual clothes on.” She tipped her head to the side cutely, giving me a confused look with her half closed eyes. Then looked down at herself, suddenly fully awake and bright red.

“Oh my Goddess, uh- um- I’ll go and get changed!” She spun in a circle. I pointed at the bathroom. “Thanks Alex!” She gave me a pained smile and ran inside.

I headed back downstairs and pulled up my third bowl of porridge. Mom was on her fifth. ((You know, we’re surprisingly hungry for someone who swallowed a literal gallon of cum yesterday. Where did it all go?)) Can you not remind me of that while I’m eating? ((Just voicing an intrusive thought, literally my job.))

Mom leaned over and bumped my shoulder to get my attention. “Hey Alex, do you think I’d look more badass with a sarong, or would it look silly? Actually, that reminds me, Adenia we should get you some clothes, I bet they sell some cute little outfits for faeries somewhere here.”

I sighed and pushed away my empty bowl. It was going to be a long day, I could already tell.

—xxxxxx—

The Goddess Statue was where Carver had said it would be, on the outskirts of the residential district, almost outside of town completely which was a little strange. What was even stranger was the big mansion that surrounded it, by far the largest house in the whole town, but completely abandoned. The lawn was pretty much reclaimed by the wild, a veritable forest was growing in a near perfect square that was the plot of land. Though the house itself wasn’t dilapidated at all, it just gave off that abandoned house vibe.

Gave me the creeps.

“This place is creepy.” DD voiced what I was thinking.

“C’mon. Sooner we get our upgrades, the sooner we can get out of here and go shopping. That house gives me the willies.” Mom strutted across the threshold we were standing on and we quickly followed her up the short cobbled road into the courtyard.

I finished reading the examine popup. “Yup, this is the statue.” I gave it the once over. It was some kind of light bluish-grey metal that was speckled with white, and it might have looked impressive if the metal wasn’t dull and lifeless, completely tarnished with dirt. The depiction was kinda disappointing, just a generic angel lady with big tits and arms spread wide, wearing a toga. Though the head looked like it had been broken off there wasn’t any remnant of it around, and it seemed like the metal was only a coat, with a stone that was probably marble underneath.

“Huh. I thought it’d be a bit… I dunno, better taken care of?” Mom shrugged as she wiped a smudge of dirt off the statue. “Does it say how to activate it?”

I shook my head. “Tooltip just says ‘Pray’.” It was shaped like a button, but pressing it didn’t do anything.

“Do you think we need to say a prayer to the Goddess?” DD piped up.

“Don’t exactly have a prayer book hunny, how would we know what to say?” Adenia flapped lazily over to the statue and sat down on the plinth. “Oh Goddess, Hear my prayer for power!”

She sounded sarcastic, but we were all surprised her eyes closed and she started whispering unintelligibly; her wings and tail wrapping around her as she curled into a ball. I rushed over to make sure she was okay.

I frowned and shared the tooltip with Mom. “Seems fine?”

She read it and shrugged at me. “Alright, DD just get a healing Spell and a damage Spell, otherwise go wild!” Mom put a hand on my shoulder to cut me off. “Alex, I love you, but there is no way they will let us brick our characters this early and I don’t want to be here for hours with you umming and ahhing over how to best wring out an extra point two percent damage on a Spell we will stop using in two days time. I’ll see if I can find a way to copy the tooltips so you can look at them later, and then you can create a whole guide for us for next time, okay?”

She had both hands on my shoulders now and was looking me directly in the eye, waiting for confirmation. “I… Fine. But if you can’t copy them can you at least try to remember the names of Spells?”

“Deal.” She gave me a hug. “Don’t you take all day either, just get a stealth Spell and upgrade something; no spending hours min-maxing or I’ll draw all over your face while you’re in the menu, got it?” She let me go and put a hand on the statue next to Adenia’s curled up form.

“Goddess, hear my prayer for power.” She fell into an idle stance before dropping to one knee and placing her fist over her heart, whispering unintelligibly in prayer.

DD glanced over at me. “Um… I guess I’ll go next?”

“Yeah, go ahead. Wait, make sure you grab a buff of some kind, even better if it debuffs the enemy. Otherwise, get whatever you want.” I sort of had an idea of where we should go with our team comp, and pushing DD into support/debuffer wouldn’t be too hard, she was already halfway there.

“Okay, um- Goddess, hear my prayer for power.” She did the same idle stance before lowering to her knees and clasping her hands in front of her, and another voice joined the whispering chorus.

Nothing else for it I guess. I stepped up to the statue and placed a hand on it. “Goddess, hear my prayer for power.”

—xxxxxx—

There was a moment of disorientation and a sharp pain in my chest as I appeared in a similar astral void to the start of the game. The Goddess Statue stood in its full glory in front of me, radiating blue light with specks of rainbow laced through it. Still no head though. I turned slowly as I took a second to orient myself, and saw the Vortex I’d come out of when I first loaded into CAGED way in the distance, which made me realise this was the same astral void place as back then.

Looking down at myself, I was an Astral sheet ghost again too, except no hole in the chest like last time. Instead I had a… magenta/pink patch that felt like it had been welded pretty tightly onto my chest. It was strange though, it felt like… like it was always a part of me. Like if you were missing your right hand and to fix it someone attached a mirrored copy of your left hand.

“So are you just gonna float there or-” “Cendenia’s Fat Udders!!!” I just about jumped out of my skin… again, at the sound of a female voice.

“Can you not call my titties ‘fat udders’ please, it makes me sound like a cow and I don’t appreciate it.” The buxom Demi-goddess from last night pouted at me from beside the statue. She must have simply appeared from somewhere, because she wasn’t there earlier.

“Why the fuck are you here?” I’ll admit, I was a bit surlier than was necessary, but in my defence I didn’t like jumpscares at the best of times, and I kinda thought I’d be alone here with myself.

“Like, There’s no need to be rude, I took precious time out of my schedule to be here for you! Gardy wanted me here to like, make sure nothing goes wrong with the Spells ‘n stuff when you buy them, and make sure you’re able to get your Advanced Spell without any issues.” She huffed, which sent her tits wobbling in her dress, this time a ‘loose fitting’ nightgown style that somehow clung to her every curve and was just not quite see through.

“Alright, sorry about snapping at you. I don’t like getting jumpscared. Do you know where my Double went?” I’d kinda expected Blue Alex to be here with me when I realised I was in Astral Sheet Ghost form, but I didn’t see him anywhere and he hadn’t chimed in.

“Your Buddy is currently welded inside your soul, using your ELC as a patch, which while increasing your integration also had the unfortunate side effect of sealing off your CIP which your- ah, like, wait! Cheeky Lexi, trying to get me to spill forbidden knowledge while your CIP can’t hurt you! Naughty!” She wagged her finger at me, tutting and frowning. I don’t know if she was just stupid or what but I just gave her a cheeky grin (well, I'm not really sure if it translated since I didn't have a face, but you get the idea) and shrugged my shoulders.

"Oh, I can't get mad at you for that, your just too cute. Here, touch the Splinter and it'll bring up your upgrade menus." I floated over to the statue and placed a… sleeve on it, which thankfully brought up the interact menu. "Great! Now just-" A deluge of broken popups, menus and floating text appeared, layering over each other into an illegible mess. “Ack- Like, umm… Gimme a seccy, I think this is because it's reading both your ELC and your OMM, lemme just… uhhh… whew, uhh, this might take more than a sec- here, look over the Beginner Spells while I fix this.” She flicked a hand at me and a much more reasonable number of windows appeared over to one side.

”Uh, I can’t see my Milestone Points. And what’s a Chevron?”

“Uhhh- Don’t worry about it, you have more than enough points to buy whatever you want from the beginner Spells, just uh… like, maybe wait till I find the Skills menu before you buy anything. Dangit Gardy, why do I have to do this-? How did the text wrapping break?! It’s not even connected to…” She started rapidly waving her fingers in the air and looking at something I couldn’t see while grumbling to herself.

I frowned and turned back to the Spell list.

My options were kind of limited honestly, but that was to be expected with early abilities. [Shinobi DASH] seemed like the most useful Spell to get, but it felt like there might be more upgrades or Spell unlocks to get from [Maho Trick]. Like, literally, there were faded lines leading into the jumbled mess of other broken tooltips, and [Maho Trick] had a lot more than [Shinobi DASH].

Honestly it wasn’t really a decision, I’d probably be able to get both and more. But I liked the sound of [Shinobi DASH] more, so I locked it in and finalised the purchase.

“Wait! What did you just do?” Cendenia ran/jiggled over to me, hands still moving and with the faraway look in her eyes I was surprised she didn’t fall over.

“I bought [Shinobi DASH].” Her eyes focussed back on me and a conflicted look passed over her face.

“Lame, you should’ve gotten [Shadow Yougu], you can make a bunch of fun stuff with that. Whatever, here, buy this… aaaaand- this!” She pulled two popups out of the mess of menus and slapped them in front of me.

I mean, they seemed like good Spells. A 100% stun was only okay right now, but it would really shine once we started hitting harder content and enemies had channels I could interrupt. [Kage no Bunshin] was fucked regardless, but thats what you get for beta testing a shitty product with your brain! Except…

“Can you at least tell me what it says after ‘On learning this Spell’? It’s been blurred out on all of my Spells and I don’t like not knowing what it’s there for.”

“Sorry Lexi, if you can’t read it, it’s like, like that for a reason. Spells mostly give cosmetic changes or minor buffs anyway, so you shouldn’t worry about it. Just get both of them and I should be able to find your Skills and Upgrade menu! Then you’ll at least be able to look at all the stuff you can buy right now… It’s uh… it’s gonna take me a little while to unravel this menu so it’s working properly. But the more stuff you buy, the easier it’ll be for me!”

She fluttered her eyelashes at me. “So please have mercy on your dear, beautiful Patron Demi-goddess, and buy a tonne of stuff so I can get back to goo-the important deity stuff I was doing.”

These GMs took their role playing real seriously. Actually, nevermind, it was probably the game doing it. “Alright, I’ll buy the Spells.”

“Thankies!”

I navigated the menus to purchase the two Spells she’d given me, and was rewarded with a satisfied noise from my Patron deity. “Thank Mom for that, this’ll be so much easier to sort out now that I can actually see the fuckin’ thingies. Kay, just buy what’cha want and head back, I’ll have this sorted for next time… Hopefully.” She tossed two more menus at me before turning back to the main body of popups.

Well, that was annoying. I’d hoped I’d be able to read up on at least the next tier of Spells, but whatever, it was probably for the best. I decided to check the Skills menu first.

I was immediately overwhelmed when I pressed ‘more’ on the available Skills. I liked this stuff and that was too much choice, and whoever designed the categorization sorting deserves to be shot.

"Achoo!" Cendenia sneezed cutely.

Seriously, who puts Assassin under Sluttery? And why were there two Assassin Skills? Did I need to buy both of them? To stop the headache I could feel building up I just bought ASSassin from Sluttery since it seemed to do more and Shifty from Stealth.

I almost cried when I read the bottom of Assassin. No more constantly staying at the back of the group, no more cautious skirting of crowds… I could finally walk down a busy street without fear of getting groped! Thank Cendenia!

“Oh, you’re like, welcome Lexi!”

My head snapped towards the Demi Goddess. “Wait, you heard that?” My eyes grew wide. Could the GM read my mind? What the fuck?!

“Like, of course I heard you thank me in your head, I’d be a pretty crappy Demi-goddess if I couldn’t hear praise happening right next to me. ‘Specially from a cutie like you!” She flashed me an angelic smile before returning to the menus.

I took a couple seconds to calm my beating heart. Okay, she couldn’t read my mind. Thank- …no-one in particular.

I shook myself and pulled up the upgrades menu.

Some of these Upgrades were total gamechangers; others… were Phantom Job. Of course I got that one for free for some reason. I couldn’t upgrade [Kage no Bunshin] for some reason, probably because it was an advanced Spell and I got it early, but that was fine. I probably couldn’t afford any upgrades for it anyway.

I just wish I knew how many points I had to spend. “Cendenia, are you sure you can’t tell how many points I have?”

She didn’t turn away from her work. “Like, sorry hunny, I can’t tell with your GS all tangled like it is. Like, you could count all your Milestones to get an idea of how many you have… but some of them give more than one point… and I think there are a few broken ones… Um, just buy all the small cost ones!” She flashed me a sheepish smile.

I sighed and ran down the list again to decide what I could live without. There was quite a lot that seemed pretty good, but without being able to see my later options or filter my Skills into actually useful categories I was unable to see any synergies that I could build toward.

“Fuck it. You can’t go wrong with more damage.”

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

Cendenia waved goodbye to me. “Bye Lexi! Thanks for buying lots of stuff, I’ll pay you back somehow. Remember to pray to me when you’re in a pickle!”

Ultimately, it was kind of a novel experience dealing with a GM who stuck around to fix something that was broken; the majority if not all similar interactions I’d had, last night excluded, involved support tickets and waiting around for days at a time before getting any real response. Having one fix stuff in real time so I could continue playing was… nice; even if it was their shitty game that had broken and trapped us in here in the first place.

Now that I think about it, I guess the GMs didn’t really have anything better to do either if they were stuck in here as well.

I closed my ‘eyes’, and felt a slight tugging sensation on my tender chest. When I opened them again, I was standing ramrod straight, my hands in front of me automatically doing hand signs matching the rhythm of the prayer I was muttering. I went through the final movements with practiced ease, finishing with a hands clasped bow.

It was a little weird that I’d known instinctually how to do that, but then again I had learned how to fistfight like I’d been doing it for years from a scroll.

Looking around, it seemed like I was the first one done, which was… confusing? My menu had been literally broken, I didn’t know how many points I had to spend and I was still faster than Adenia, DD and Mom!

((Alright, enough grumbling, get on with the Spells! I wanna try out my new Shadow Clone!)) I pulled up the Spell on my HUD, which put it in the forefront of my mind.

Damn, this shit’s complicated, ((luckily we have double the brain power.))

It took a lot of focus and a couple of tries to get the hand motions right, but eventually it clicked. My hands moved with practised ease and the mana flowed through me, from my fingertips to my toes, mapping out every inch of my body. Then the motions directed it to fill, my body saturating with magic, increasing in density. With a final concentrated effort of focus and a puff of smoke… I appeared in front of myself.

I stumbled as a wave of disorientation hit me, and ‘I’ reached out to steady myself. “Whoa, easy there Alex, used a bit too much Mana I think.”

I steadied myself on my own shoulder and let my vision clear up. “Hoo, don’t really want to do that in combat… Wait, I thought it was a ‘Shadow Clone’, why does it look exactly like me?”

I looked down at myself, or- fuckin- whatever, the other Alex, uh- Olex, looked down at his body. “Hey I fuckin heard that, you’re not calling me Olex.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Yeah! B-lex. You know, like Helix but with a B.”

“Alright Blex-” “Fuck you, say it right.”

I gave him the finger. “Anyway, I thought the Clone body would be all… shadowy or look different. You kinda just look the same.” I gave him (myself) the once over. My Taimanin Mask still looked sick as fuck, complimenting my orange Okami Jacket. While it did look cool as fuck and had a clean fit, it wasn’t very stealthy and I’d stick out like a sore thumb at night.

I definitely need some new trousers though, considering the ones I was wearing were… let’s just say they were a tad bit better than rags, but only because it could pass as intentionally ripped for aesthetic reasons. Though they did seem a bit tighter around the thighs…? I frowned.

“Can you turn around a second?” B-lex rolled his eyes and turned, doing a little pose that showed off our… huge ass? Was it always that big and wobbly-? “Damn I know it’s juicy but you could be a little subtle.”

I gave him a swat on the ass, giving off a satisfying thwack sound and sending it jiggling hypnotically. “Mhm! What was that for?”

“Be quiet, there was something- Dammit. I lost my train of thought.” My ass could do that to people and I wasn’t immune. Especially since I had the bottom of one cheek hanging out, which I hadn’t even noticed. Goddess, that was embarrassing, luckily there weren’t that many people out and about when we came here.

From the back, you’d almost think I was a girl…

“From the front too, if popular consensus is to be believed. Anyway, stop gooning over yourself and start casting. We need to practice our new Spells.”

I glared at myself and did some quick hand gestures. A small pebble formed and shot out to smack my clone in the head. “OW! Fuck! Oh it’s on you little shit!”

It quickly became apparent that flinging pebbles at each other’s asses did extremely little damage and was mostly a waste of mana, same with the small fire bursts. The Fire Darts upgrade I’d gotten had a little more oomph to it, but with our high Speed it was trivial to dodge at range. That left CQC, but since we were entirely evenly matched all that I managed was ruining a pant leg with a well timed scorch, a couple pebble thwacks each and a lucky palm strike traded for a slap of the ass.

“Alright, Time out!” B-lex parried me and disengaged. “Didjya have to burn my pants? It’s all loose now- keeps getting tangled in my foot- fucking annoying piece of-”

The lightly smouldering fabric below the knee was holding on by a literal thread, and the loose fabric was catching on the other pant leg. He reached down and pulled out a knife to cut the thread, but then got a mischievous glint in his eye and flashed a glance at me. “What are you-”

I caught what he was thinking right as the knife sliced the fabric, way higher up than necessary. He quickly trimmed the pant leg all the way around, so that the entire thigh and a generous amount of ass was on display. “Don’t cut it so high!”

I went to reach out to stop him, but it was too late, my high Speed making another quick cut around the other pant leg easy. I groaned. B-lex grinned and shook the extant fabric off his legs, leaving him in what amounted to black side-tie booty shorts that squished tightly against his skin when he pulled the ties tight.

“Goddess, I do take after Mom… Did you have to take after her dress sense as well?”

“Yeah, cause this ass won’t quit and you wrecked them, so suffer the consequences of your actions.” He gave his rear a swat to make it jiggle, and as much as I hate to admit it, it did look really good… “Alright, let’s test out [Magirasu Wink] and see how good those upgrades are- good choice by the way, though I’m honestly a little surprised you bought them without me whispering sweet nothings.”

I felt my cheeks heat up. “A-an extra stun is g-good! An-and teasing wiggle is just good CC! I’d be stupid not to get it!”

“Sure brother, whatever lets you sleep at night.” Man, sometimes it sucks talking to yourself.

“Wait, let me activate [Kunoichi Killshot] first, I wanna see if it gets affected by stuns.” I went into my HUD and pulled up the Spell.

I opened up the hyperlink for channelling too, just to help me understand which parts of the Spell needed to be channelled. It was pretty intuitive though, and after one false start I managed to get the hand signs down and felt a tingle of magic in front of my eyes.

B-lex lit up with multiple hotspots, red on the back of the neck, orange on joints, and green on the entire ass and tips of the ears for some reason. “Okay… Mana drain is manageable. Hmmm… there’s a lot of different colours here…” “Alright, I’ll close my eyes and block my ears, you -gently!- stab me with the shiv and we can test which ones are which.”

Turns out red was always the maximum extra Sneak Attack damage and armour piercing, and it decreased going from orange to yellow, the minimum being +5%. And despite barely drawing blood on each stab, B-lex steadily lost health until he hit 25%. “Oh, cool. I got a shadowboxing Milestone.”

I furrowed my brow, pulling up my HUD notifications and sure enough, there was another Milestone.

That was pretty cool, it would help with figuring out damage ranges without wasting all my mana, and Trainer seemed like it could be a pretty powerful Skill if used properly. But now wasn’t the time for speculation. “Alright, let’s try out Sneak Attacks with [Magirasu Wink] and see how that works.”

Turns out, being stunned not only guaranteed a Sneak Attack, which was busted beyond belief, but it also let me do my special Hurricanrana takedown for basically free. I was vindicated in my choice of upgrades, because though I couldn’t stun someone who wasn't looking at me, the kiss follow up gave me enough time to [Shinobi DASH] up to someone and pull off a flying Hurricanrana when the second stun triggered.

The only downside was actually getting it to trigger after using it more than once. While the second trigger wasn’t bad, standing up, cocking my hip and tilting my head to make the wink ‘saucy’ enough for it to trigger left me far too open in a fight for a non-guaranteed stun.

“Argh! Fuck it, let’s move on to something else.” After a string of failed winks to test the Hurricanrana one last time, I decided to give up. “We should check out Shadow Barrage next, just gimme a sec to recover some Mana.”

“What, we’re not gonna test Teasing Wiggle? Or Phantom Job?” I gave him a flat look.

“I doubt I can charm myself, and there is no way in hell I’m using Phantom Job on you.” I crossed my arms over my small chest. That was my line in the sand, and it was definitely NOT because I felt my clitty twitch at the thought of sucking someone off without touching them. Definitely. “Besides, I’m sick of doing [Magirasu Wink] and having it not work.”

“Well I can-” His face lit up as mine fell, the same thought crossing our mind.

“Wait- hol-”

My thoughts skipped as all I could think about was ass, wobbling in front of me, wrapping plush thighs around my head and wobbling deliciously in front of me. If Heaven existed this was close. I could die happy knowing- Wait a fucking second. These are my own thighs and ass! And that’s the ground, approaching quickly.

Imagine my surprise when I exploded into Mana particles.

There was a vicious wrench as my perspective snapped from the ground and back into ‘my’ head. I was lying on the grass on my stomach, having done a successful Hurricanrana on my ‘real’ body. A massive wave of nausea hit my gut. ((Oh Goddess what the FUCK-!))

I lost the battle with my stomach and horked up my breakfast.

Crawling away from the mess, I collapsed onto the grass and closed my eyes.

It took me a minute to be able to think properly again, and even then it still felt like I had a massive hangover. ((Goddess, what the fuck happened? Why did you die?)) Fuuuck, I think I was in the clone. I groaned into the grass. ((How were you in the clone?!)) How should I know?! Probably another fucking glitch in a long line of glitches.

I attempted to raise my head, only to be hit by another wave of dizziness and slump back into the grass.

Goddess this game is a piece of shit.

—xxxxxx—

”Hmmm…” Riley placed a sleeve on her ‘chin’ in thought. She’d said to Alex to not spend too long going over his Spells and stuff, but she’d been stuck deciding between her last two options for ten minutes. She’d already upgraded her [Light’s Glare] and [Limited Bladeworks] so they gave her a bit more survivability, but now she couldn’t decide what to get for her final Spell buy.

She frowned and pulled up her Spells again as though they had changed since the last time she’d looked.

She sighed. Her Spells were just solid tanking fare, but nothing really stand out. She wanted, or really needed, a high damage finisher to help close out fights. Alex could have probably told her the best choice, but she couldn’t resist teasing him about it and now it was biting her in the prodigious ass. If only he wasn’t so cute when he got grumpy!

She sighed and shuffled around the buy menus with her sleeve hand things just for something to do, when she noticed a Spell she hadn’t read before.

She smiled. This was perfect! It had synergy with Tenets, it gave her a little health drain, and if she got the Engelic Love upgrade, it would be a fantastic finisher! Quickly buying the Spell and upgrade, she leaned back in smug satisfaction. Alex was going to be so surprised when he saw her Spell picks! ‘Speaking of Alex…’

She sifted through her actual menus looking for the photography function. Worst come to worst she’d have to take an extra couple minutes memorising the Spell names, but that should be fine.

She knew her son. He’d take ages choosing his stuff.

—xxxxxx—

Dallas was a little overwhelmed. Riley had said ‘get an attack and healing Spell’, but… But she already had those! Alex had given her a tiny bit more direction with ‘get a buff’, but… there were so MANY! There was one that could upgrade for Power, Speed, Courage, Intelligence, Spirit, Charisma and Luck; one that lowered CDs(?), one that increased DoTs(?), one that increased the size of her breasts temporarily, why, she couldn’t understand; and one that made other people more sensitive???

And that didn’t even start on the Skill that made her able to suck dicks better (that she was trying really hard to pretend wasn’t there), or the debuff Spell that made people cum really hard!

‘Actually, didn’t Alex say something about debuffing enemies to gain buffs?’ She tilted her head to the side as she scanned over the debuffing Spells again. She was sure there was one that… her tail wagged and swished her Astral cloak back and forth as she found what she was looking for.

This looked promising! She could make enemies weaker and make her… her friends stronger! Though it would eat a chunk of her point budget, she had plenty from all the… extra Milestones she’d gotten while ‘helping’ Adenia… actually… maybe she shouldn’t use those points- Alex might ask how she got so many- Or worse, he might ask to see her Milestones!

She shook her head- nonono, if that happened she’d die of embarrassment! Quickly counting up the points she could use she skimmed over the most embarrassing Milestones she’d gotten last night.

If she could flush red, she would have. There was no way she could let ANYONE know about these… and tallying up her Spell upgrades and buys, she would be just under needing to use any of the points gained from them! It was perfect, and there would be no awkward questions about how she had so many points.

She bought the upgrades and Spells she’d selected, closing out the windows… except her hand hesitated as it hovered the buyable Skill she’d been ignoring. She really shouldn’t… it was- she wasn’t going to do something like that again- EVER! It wasn’t something she wanted! Adenia had made her- an-an-and she would stand up for herself next time!

She squeezed her legs together beneath her Astral robe as the purchase screen closed.

It would be fine.

It’s not like they could find out that she owned that Skill.

It would be fine.

—xxxxxx—

”Yah dunn did quite the number on yerself, diddnchya?” Adenia was sitting on my back massaging my… mana channels? I was lucky she’d woken up only a minute or two after I’d collapsed from the backlash, and lucky that she agreed to go back in and pick up a mana soothing Spell so she could help my aching Spirit. ((We should give her a raise.))

“You’ve gotta be careful with higher level magicks Alex- didden they teach you anything in Champion school or whatever? You’re lucky you only temporarily messed up your Mana flows, though I suppose bein’ a Champion an’ all meant you got off a lot better than you could’ve.” I hissed as she pinched a nerve on my shoulder, before feeling the soothing tingle of magic wash down my arm.

“The school I went to didn’t cover Mana Backlash. Eeergh… I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that GM… ah!” Another muscle spasm. “What Spells did you get anyway? I know you didn’t want me micromanaging, but- ah!- but I can get a couple Spells and Skills to synergise with you next time.”

She worked her small hands into my spine. “Most of the Spells I could buy were too weak to be that useful without some serious upgrading, so I figured I’d get the most useful two and buy a bunch of upgrades for the ones I already had. Other than that I got a few Skills and that may or may not have unlocked a special Spell that I got for myself as a treat. Yer lucky I’m so frugal though, otherwise I wouldn’t’ve had enough points for this little Mana soother Spell!” I got a ping and pulled up my HUD inside my eyelids.

”This is good stuff Adeni-ah! I’ll have to see about getting more Sneak Attack damage stacks… I’m a tad worried about extended fights though. Maybe I should…” Get something that lets me go back into Stealth? Or should I get Mom to get a flashbang or something- Ah! Ooooh~ fuck that feels good…

Adenia was working her fists into the bottom of my asscheek/top of my thigh, causing it to ripple pleasantly and send shockwaves of pleasure through my ass that made my ((clit)) wiggle against the ground.

“Well, that’s why I got [Howl of the Hunt]; it should be strong enough to keep you doing damage if you don’t finish it with the first hit. Plus, if I’m stuck looking like one of the hounds I might as well get some benefit from it.” I barely heard what she said, as I had to stop myself from moaning as she pushed her hands into my asscheeks. ((Luckily, I’m here and not gooning first thing in the morning.))

“Actually, speaking of hounds- please don’t let any wolves use me as a chew toy, okay? I’ve had my fill of that.” Apparently it was a pretty bad knot, and she kept working my cheeks for a while. Eventually it got to be too much and I had to ask her to stop ((Before I came in my suit.))

I turned back to look at her, praying my mask covered most of my blush. “A-a-are you d-d-done yet?!”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’ve been done with your Channels for a couple minutes, I was just seeing how long you’d let me play with your big, sensitive ass.” She grinned evilly and gave it a swat. I’m not proud of what happened next, my ((clitty)) jumping and spurting it’s load as I came from my ass getting smacked.

“Oh… damn…” Adenia awkwardly floated off me as I spasmed, eyes fluttering and groaning as I had one of the biggest, most humiliating orgasms of my entire life. “Wow, you really are sensitive there ain’tchya?”

I groaned again as I rolled over, twitching again as my poor highly sensitive cheeks squished against the ground and derailed my thoughts again. ((Don’t worry buddy, I got this.)) “It’s not my fault! I probably have a bunch of stacking Milestones that make it more sensitive!”

“Hmmm, well, it's good that I got that… actually, you know what, it’ll be a surprise for next time we 'play'' together.” She smiled sweetly at me. ((Okay I really don’t like the smile she just gave us, I’m sorry I might have made it worse.)) It must have shown on my face because she floated over to land on my shoulder and grabbed my attention.

“Oh don't look at me like that, it'll be fun..." She gently caressed the tip of my elfin ear and leaned in to whisper.

"Especially for a little Buttslut like you.”

A shiver ran down my spine.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

”I’m really proud of you Alex! You’ll catch up to my record in no time at this rate! And you said you didn’t want… that kind of attention on our party.”

“I don’t! I-I told you! There was an accident with my Spell, my pants were all ripped and- It wasn’t like I did it on purpose!” I huffed.

“Whatever you say honey! I for one think it’s super sexy! And all the townsfolk think so too!” Mom giggled as she elbowed me in the side. We were on our way to the town centre to look for Tailors, and we’d just stopped to help a third person who’d walked into a lamppost. At least someone was enjoying my new clothes ((I said I was sorry! I honestly thought I was in the clone!)) Still mad and not speaking to you.

“U-um- I think it looks r-really good too, Alex! I wish I was as confident as you!”

I sighed. “Thanks DD.”

I wasn’t really sure she was one to be talking about confidence though, the back slits on her healer frock almost showed more ass than I did when her tail swished, though I guess she hadn’t noticed.

Honestly I didn’t blame whoever walked behind us for being distracted, with the sheer amount on display it was a wonder anyone was standing upright. We couldn’t make it to the tailor fast enough. ((Don’t pretend you aren’t enjoying it, you’re more like Mom than you want to admit)) Shut it.

“Ooo, look at this one! I bet we can get matching shorts!” Mom pulled us into a large boutique shop on the road that led into the main square that had some rather… endowed mannequins in the display windows. She was right that we would find shorts that fit, just…

My fears were confirmed when I saw the other person already in the shop. Three big bleach blonde tails waved behind a foxy looking woman- by which I mean she had fox ears, though she was also pretty hot- wearing a pink tube top and blue denim short shorts that covered less than they let hang out. The several sizes too small tube top was holding on for dear life, and I could clearly see the tops of her areola peeking out where the top bit into her large tits.

“Oh-Em-Gee! You ladies look super-duper c.u.t.e! What outfits are you feeling today?” Her name was ‘Beati’ if the tiny nametag was to be believed, and apparently she worked here. Fuck.

“Ohmigosh, Your outfit is, like, super cute too! Like, I was hoping you had a sarong or something that could…” With practiced ease, I tuned Mom out as she went full on yap mode, activating her latent bimbo affectation that came out whenever she met a fellow patriot of the clothing store. My eyes automatically began roaming for the nearest sitting area with magazines in it, my refuge for the next hour.

I had gained an… appreciation for fashion and aesthetics over the years, being a true VRMMO endgame enjoyer. The majority of my knowledge came from reading fashion magazines in clothing boutiques while waiting for my Mother to finish talking and trying on outfits.

Of course she’d managed to find the one boutique with a bimbo store clerk who she could yammer with for an hour. I spotted my refuge, a set of comfy looking seats with a pile of anachronistic magazines sitting on a small table beside the display window.

I began moving, only to feel a hand clamp on my shoulder. “…or me and my party! As you can see, we’re all similar sizes, so it should be fine for you just to measure me.”

“Like, I’d totally say yes, but it’s like store policy to get everyone’s measurements! Especially, like, Parties of Champions! My boss was super-duper specific about it. So, like, all of you need to come into the back to get measured up for any clothes you want to buy!” Mom nodded enthusiastically while holding me in place.

“Of course we will! I’ve like, already spied some stuff I want to try on. Cmon Alex, DD, Adenia, let’s go!” Mom started steering me and DD forward by the shoulder.

“But I don’t-” “Umm- I-I’m not sure-” “It’s store policy kiddos, you’ve gotta come!” Mom used her ‘Mom voice’ to effectively shut down any argument. DD clammed up and blushed; and Adenia just shook her head slightly when I turned to her for backup, still shook from earlier when Mom told her off for swearing.

I didn’t really want to spend ages getting poked and prodded in… sensitive places, or measured for clothes that wouldn’t look out of place on a streetwalker, but Mom’s grip was iron, and my allies had already had their morale broken. There was seemingly no escape…

((I started casting [Kage no Bunshin] behind my back.)) What- ((Take this as my apology for the pants, I’ll try keep Mom on track so we don’t take too long.))

The cast finished and I gently fell backwards into a roll right before we went through the door into the changing rooms. Quickly hiding behind a display, I took stock of where everyone was before slinking out of the front entrance.

It’s not like I hate clothes shopping or getting fitted for clothes, it’s just… Mom could be very- biting, with her criticisms. There was a reason I didn’t put my fashion knowledge to use during her outings.

Sending a quick prayer for the others, I headed down the street to search for something to fill my time.

—xxxxxx—

It turns out I didn’t have to look far for something to do, there was a small shop called ‘Scrolls and More!’ right across the street from the Tailor’s boutique, which was imaginatively named ‘Tailoring U’. Inside was actually way bigger than the storefront suggested, with piles and piles of books stacked high into the ceiling, like one of those Libraries you see in old movies.

The smell though, sent me right back to a day trip I’d taken when I was small. Grandma and I had gone to an archive to look at old video game magazines, and the smell of old books and paper hit the exact same way. I was still holding out hope that Grandma had decided to join the launch, it would be really nostalgic being… um- secured …inside of a technical program? With her and Mom again.

I shook the nostalgic memory off and began my searching among the stacks for anything that looked interesting, or some staff so I could ask what sections were where. There were so many books and piles of scrolls, with no perceivable organisation or defining markings, and examine just brought up question marks.

Wandering further in, I found a pile of books that had obviously fallen from the shelf in a kind of book avalanche. What better place to start searching than a random book pile, all the thrill of the gamble, with none of the cleanup.

I spent the next couple minutes pulling out books of all types, A few choice titles being ‘Getting Exactly what you Bargain for: A guide to Haggling’, ‘Professional Trapping’, ‘Cursed! From Warlords to Witches, a Guide to making and breaking curses’, ‘Feminine Tales for aspiring Valkyries’, ‘Keeping your Harem Satisfied’, ‘Totally Immersed’, ‘Cages!: Big to Small’, ‘How to Earn Your Keep as a Woman’, ‘Diving with Dave’, ‘Spelunking with Dave’ and to cap off the trilogy, ‘Lovemaking with Dave’, ‘Rogue/lite: They Aren’t the Same Thing!’, ‘Kojumbo’s Big Book of Buns’ (Which after a quick skim was actually a book puns), ‘You can ABSOLUTELY Shoot Ghosts: fighting the undead as a ranged class’, and finally, ‘The Economic Viability of Diluting Minotaur Semen for Sale in Low Socio-economic Neighbourhoods’.

I tossed the loosely bound thesis paper filled with censored black text back to the side and went to pick up another, tensing as the pile shifted slightly. I’d been a little careless in my perusing, but I had mostly only been grabbing stuff from around the outside of the pile so I didn’t disturb the precariously balanced book towers that it abutted.

After making sure none of them were going to fall, I spied a magazine that had slipped onto the floor in front of me; its cover catching my eye for… obvious reasons.

The cover had a pinup of a sexy elf girl in negligee and heels bending over at the waist biting her plump lip while picking up a magazine titled ‘beastmasters’ off the ground. ‘Elfaholics!’ was printed in bold red font across the top. Smaller words proclaimed to know ‘The sordid tales of elvish girls in the workplace!’ and ‘Elvish Sexual Dimorphism: How to spot the differences’.

Even though I’d already cum earlier, something about seeing a hot elf made my face and ears flush. I’m not sure why, I’d seen tonnes of similarly endowed women- today even. But something about it being an elf made it different. I dunno, maybe B-lex could’ve explained it. Quickly glancing around to make sure there was no one else around, I bent down to pick up the magazine, mirroring the girl on the cover, and flipped to the first page.

…

Elves, Elves, Elves! Welcome back Elfaholics! In this issue, we have some real spicy stories from the city of Krackravine, a cold place, but these girls keep it hot! The following contents are guaranteed 100% true stories from real life Elf girls! If you're ever in the area, be sure to find them and give them what they need. Now enough with the preamble, let's get to the girls!

The next pages were filled with double page spreads that had an article accompanying a pinup of a scantily clad elvish girl wearing what were essentially Stripper versions of whatever profession the story claimed the elf girl was from. Store Clerk, House Maid, Librarian, Stablehand, Professor and Adventurer, each blurb went into sordid detail about what they did during their jobs with the following pages holding drawings depicting the situations described. It was clear that this was meant to be porno mag, something I only knew about from watching ancient movies with Grandma.

This was a little more hardcore than what I'd expected though. The stories would start out normal enough, just describing sexy situations the Elves might find themselves in, but they would quickly degenerate into graphic depictions of sex, with whatever pretense they had about doing a job abandoned.

The store clerk would tease customers with stretches and wardrobe malfunctions, only to end up getting gangbanged in her storeroom during off hours.

The ‘duties’ of the maid became more and more sexual until she was pleasing her master’s animals in an underground sex show.

The librarian would spend her entire work shift masturbating with magical vibrators and making sure to bend over in full view of library patrons, only to end up getting dragged into the bathroom to become a convenient hole for anyone who entered.

The Stablehand thoroughly cleaned every mount brought in, making sure the monstrous horses and griffins were squeaky clean with her mouth.

The Professor was apparently her sister, and after getting spitroasted by her top male students would join the Stablehand in ‘collecting samples’ from multiple monsters interred in the university basement.

The Adventurer had the longest story with the most images. Her armour was hand designed to draw attention to her heaving tits and her generous ass was barely covered by a tiny steel miniskirt that displayed her long tanned legs. Her ‘typical adventure’ was depicted in depth; consisting of her first sucking off the local tavern regulars for ‘information’, then going to whatever local dungeon suited her fancy, this one being a troll infested cave. The next pages were all her getting fucked in various positions by troll cocks that were longer than her torso, somehow taking them in all her holes without dying. There was an honestly egregious amount of Troll rape depicted in the pages, the culmination being her taking two of the monstrous cocks in her ass at the same time, stretching her asshole to the limit. It had to have hurt, but the look on her face was one of pure bliss.

The final pinup was of her with a big pregnant belly, smiling and the words Quest Successful displayed over her head. The wild part was that the last picture wasn’t a drawing, but a photograph that had been taken somehow, making me come to the realisation that this story, at least, was likely real. And if that one was, were all the others???

…

The thought made my clitty twitch and I realised I was rock solid again. Fuckin’… I’m sure B-lex would get a kick out of this, getting hard at elves fucking monsters like some kind of pervert, but it was getting to be a real hassle being horny all the time- especially when I couldn’t deal with it right now.

Resigned to my fate, I gently leaned against a shelf and read the last article.

…

How can you tell a male elf from a female one? The question has plagued many an elfaholic, but worry not loyal readers, because we’ve done the research!

The most obvious answer is, of course, inspecting their crotch! Female elves will typically have a larger clitoris than their male counterparts, who will usually have a tiny metal cage to protect their sensitive clitty. But be careful! Multiple readers have been fooled by a female elf with a metal clitoral piercing when they only did a check by touch!

Now some might say that it’s easy, only female elves can get pregnant! Wrong! Studies have proven that any elf can get pregnant when there is enough semen inside them. We’ve had horror stories from readers who’ve thought they were being safe, only using the mouth pussies of Elves, only to be lumped with a huge amount of child support payments five months later for an entire litter of tykes! Always wrap it up readers!

Eyes, ears, height, hair; Elves have almost no sexually dimorphic features! And you can’t always do a visual inspection in polite company (or it might be too dark). So how can you tell? We here at ‘Elfaholics!’ have found a solution! If the elf says ‘I’m a boy!’ or has an uncaged clitty, she’s probably looking for a good dicking and someone to take charge and lock her up.

You should always use female pronouns when talking to an elf; there’s no difference between the two sexes anyway. So don’t worry about it! We have some examples comparing a (fe)male elf and a female elf. See if you can spot the difference!

The splash image was two elf girls kissing around a cock covered in their lipstick. I legitimately tried to spot which was the male, but they both looked female in all the images of them getting fucked. They both had the same big tits, wobbling rears and blissful expressions; the only actual difference between the two being their clothes.

Only with the last image, that showed their clits spurting as big cocks slapped down on them, did I realise. They were both ‘male’ Elves.

Just like me.

Slapping the mag closed, I quickly searched for anything to hold my attention while I carefully crushed the last ten minutes into a ball and shoved it deep into the repressed thoughts box in the bottom of my head, never to see the light of day again. I just had to hope B-lex hadn’t peeked into my head while I was reading that, otherwise I would never hear the end of it.

I scanned over the pile of books again when I saw something else that had been revealed by a shift in the book pile, though this one made the colour drain from my face.

A small arm poked out of the bottom of the pile.

—xxxxxx—

“Fuckfuckfuck please don’t fall!” I whispered to myself as I looked up at the towering stacks that rose into the ceiling. I’d managed to excavate her upper torso- and she was definitely a woman, much like the others in this game- and was carefully moving books away from her head.

The pile shifted slightly and I tensed. The situation was becoming rather precarious; one false move could bury her again, and if that happened I’d have to call in guards or more players to dig her out, which would eat into whatever quest reward I would get. There was also the issue of the other towers of books crumbling and trapping me as well, and it was looking more and more likely that any major shifts would cause a domino effect, and create an absolute tidal wave of books to fall.

When the pile settled again, I carefully inched her head out from under the books. She was a rather pretty woman, with slightly mousy cheeks and big round owlish glasses with broken lenses somehow still sitting askew on her button nose. Brown hair tied in a double bun, she had the look of a stereotypical wallflower, albeit one who’d lost a fight with a pile of books.

Carefully looking over the pile again for my next jenga block, I jumped when she groaned and shifted her head. “Oh my… What happened? What is- why can’t I move my legs?”

“Wait, don’t-!” It was too late, her movements caused the pile to destabilise. There was an ominous groan, and I froze as time seemed to slow. The towers teetered ominously. They were going to fall, now, and I had to make a decision.

“Fuck it.” Mom didn't raise a quitter. I just had to pray my luck held out and that I was quick enough. Grabbing a hold of the dazed woman’s arm, I got as good a grip as I could and yanked. Working my legs as hard as I could to continue the momentum, she screamed as her small body jerkily slid out from under the pile. I kept a hold of her as I continued to run, not stopping as the towers collapsed around me.

Luckily, the roar of paper began to slow as we reached the door and ran out of space to run to. I coughed as the dust settled, and looked behind me for the first time since I'd started running. The store was a disaster zone, a tidal wave of books covered every empty space in the store like water, every single last stack of books having toppled in a domino cascade. We had my Speed to thank for us not being drowned beneath an ocean of knowledge right now.

“Oh my Goddess! What happened!? My store! What did you DO!?” Never let a good deed go unpunished, can you.

“Saving you lady, if I hadn’t showed up you’d still be trapped under that book pile!”

“You-! You didn’t have to destroy my store! Look at this mess! It’s going to take forever to clean up!” She freed herself from my grip and dusted off her blue pinstripe dress and waistcoat while lamenting the state of her broken glasses. “Oh, Goddess above! My lenses! Oh no, oh dear…”

Welp, my job here is done, gimme my quest reward game!

Not exactly a quest complete notification, but hey, at least it was a normal milestone.

”…have to help me find my spare lenses! Are you listening to me??? Hey! Don’t ignore me, you ruffian!” The ungrateful damsel stamped her heels and snapped her fingers at me, squinting something fierce. Honestly it was pretty cute because she was so short, far shorter than my measly five four, pegging her as a gnome if the slightly rounded end to her ears didn’t give it away.

“Ruffian? If this is how you treat everyone who saves you, next time I won’t bother.”

“Saved?! You-! You destroyed my store! Do you know how long it’s going to take to organise all these books!?”

“Honestly, it’s probably more organised now than it was before.” She gasped dramatically and clutched her hand to her sizeable chest in offence. “I looked around before I found you and I don’t know what system you were using to organise, but ‘book tsunami’ is definitely an upgrade.”

The shortstacked woman gaped at me, a red flush crawling up her face. Okay, maybe I went a little far, it was more of a side-grade. “You- You-! Who are you!? Why are you even here!? Where did you come from!? Can you please help me find my spare lenses? It’s rather awkward yelling at someone I can barely see.”

She deflated a bit at the end there, the red flush in her cheeks turning to one of embarrassment rather than anger.

I sighed. “Fine, do you have an idea of where they might be?”

—xxxxxx—

Luckily, her spares were behind the shop counter, which while still covered in stacks of books like everything else in the store currently, had always been that way, which was why I missed it when I first came in.

Unluckily, Seori scowled as soon as she was able to see me properly, her eyes sizing me up with disdain. “Oh… You’re one of them. No wonder you messed up my store! Well? Why are you here?”

“A thank you would be nice.”

She blushed, but tried to remain angry. “I’ll not thank the girl who ruined my store. Now if you’d kindly inform me as to why you are here, I can tell you no and you can leave. Chop, chop, I have work to do.”

“I’m not a- whatever. I came in here on a whim, the rest of my party is across the street getting fitted for sl-clothes across the street.” I crossed my arms over my chest and sneered back at her. “And you should count your lucky stars I did. No one else would come into a dump like this.” I’m not normally this mean to NPCs, but she started it and I was feeling petty today.

“Well, I would expect Beautia wouldn’t let a hussy like you into her boutique, she has standards for her clientele! This is an upstanding neighbourhood, if you’re just here to loiter for clients, go ply your trade on a different street corner. ” She dismissed me with a flick of her wrist.

“What the fuck are you talking about? The boutique across the street is filled with slutwear- the only people who shop there are probably whores. Hells, the girl behind the counter was wearing less than I am!”

The small woman’s expression darkened. “Now, I might have been rather terse with you, but Beautia Vaalea-Tails is a dear friend, and I’ll not have you slander her or her store in front of me. Get out.”

The air was tense, but I still hadn’t gotten my quest reward and I wasn’t leaving until I did. “I’m not slandering anyone! We are talking about the same store right? ‘Tailoring U’?”

“It’s not ‘Tailoring U’, it’s ‘Tailoring for You’! Seriously, do they not teach you girls how to read anymore? Or do you save the empty space between your ears for cum?” Goddess this woman was a fucking bitch.

“I can read you dumb cunt, maybe you weren’t wearing your glasses when you read the sign. I saw it not… twenty minutes-ish ago? If you got off your high horse for a second and wrenched the stick out of your ass you might be able to go outside and confirm it.”

“Fine, I’ll show you, you rude little-!”

—xxxxxx—

“Wha…?”

“Toldjya. How long were you under that pile?” I had a feeling that this quest might be more convoluted than ‘save bookshop owner from pile of books’, but I’d be damned if I failed a quest because the quest giver was a cunt to me. The reward better be fucking good though, or a certain Demi-goddess would be hearing from my lawyer.

“I… What day is it?”

“I dunno.” “Of course you don’t, what else did I expect from-”

“Alright, listen here bitch. I was literally born into this world two fuckin’ days ago, and I haven’t even seen a calendar, so I don’t wanna hear some racist shit about how Elves have cum between their knife-ears! Even if you’re just stereotyping me, it probably doesn’t apply because I’m a fucking Champion! I don’t know what Elves normally act like!” Her face ran the gamete from angry, to confused, to worried, finally satisfyingly draining into pale faced confusion and embarrassment.

“Oh. Oh my. Um. I-I’m terribly sorry- I- um- I wasn’t- I’m not- it’s not because you’re an Elf! You’re wearing a Kunoichi outfit- and I just thought- I didn’t realise you were a Champion! You probably have nothing to do with her. Oh, Goddess- I’ve made a fool out of myself…” She buried her face into her hands.

“Oh. Okay.” I guess I just kinda assumed she was racist against Elves, not classist against Kunoichi. Still, I felt pretty good about putting the uppity bitch in her place, really got all the petty out of my system. Though I could've done without the minute of standing there awkwardly while Seori composed herself.

She dabbed gently at her eyes and looked back up at me, a lot of the earlier annoyance and tension in her expression gone. “I- um- I’m really sorry for implying you were a vacuous whore earlier. It’s just- um- I haven’t had the best experience with Kunoichi. Ever since my sister-”

“Look, I’d love to hear your entire sad backstory, I really would, but you don’t need to explain yourself. Let's just skip past it and pretend we're meeting for the first time. Hi, I'm Alex.”

“Right. Yes. That sounds good. I'm Seori and, I- um- I should probably go and talk to Beautia to clear all this up,

I’m sure everything's fine.”

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

“Damn my ass looks good in these.” I flexed my legs muscles and bounced a little, causing a jigglequake to ripple over my prodigious behind in the mirror. The black pants I’d picked out were closer to a second skin with how lightly they fit, and I wondered if maybe they’d gotten my measurements wrong… but no, this was that kind of store, of course they were this tight.

Probably too tight for A-lex though, the big baby. Seriously, make a body like this and then get all flustered about showing it off? Ridiculous. He just didn’t want to get called a queer, the little gay boy. Hah! Not like I can talk.

Giving myself a pleasurable little swat on the behind, I peeled off the stretchy material and shimmied it down over my legs and reached for the final piece of ‘clothing’ that I’d picked out. Taking cues from our slutty clerk, they were blue 'denim' short shorts that almost covered less than my previous ‘shorts’- scratch that, they did have less fabric, leaving almost the entirety of my ass hanging out.

I’d probably look more decent wearing nothing if I was honest, my bodysuit made me look like I was at least wearing a swimsuit. All these shorts were doing was pulling attention expressly to my cheeks. Which was hot, but not necessarily what we wanted in terms of an outfit. I could dream though.

Sighing, I struck a few more poses in the mirror. Damn did I look good though, I hope Mom appreciated-

The curtain swished open as the spoken devil herself bullied her way inside the small changing room before swiftly closing it over again. “Sorry to barge in like this honey, but I have a bit of an… issue, and I need your help.”

It was pretty obvious what the issue was, it was kind of hard to miss the throbbing inches of her huge cock jumping up and down in time with her heartbeat. “Wha-wha-wha-what are you- why- how- why me?!”

I think Alex would unironically kill me if I did anything with Mom, so while this was incredibly hot and kind of exactly what I wanted, it was not something I should be doing. Especially while I was in our ‘real’ body.

“Come on, I really need your help Alex! It just won’t go down, and I can't fit it back into my armour. Can you take care of it for me? Please?” She pouted at me and thrust her hips toward me, leaving wet splotches of precum on my bodysuit.

“By the Goddess, Mom! We can’t do this! It’s wrong-” “Oh don’t be such a prude Alex, I’m just asking for a thighjob-” “A Thighjob!? I’m not giving you- We’re family!” “And Family help each other-” “ Not like this!” “Your mouth says no, but something else looks like it wants to help.”

She squatted down, eyes locked firmly on the small bulge in my shorts. “That’s not-”

I squeaked and flushed red as she swiftly pulled my shorts down, freeing my stiff, twitching clitty from its confines. “Oooo, this little girl’s a lot more honest, isn’t she? She wants to help Mommy with her big problem~” My traitorous clit twitched up and down as if nodding in agreement. “Yes she does. She’s a good little girl, getting all stiff for mommy~.”

"M-m-m-mom! You can't-!" She stood slowly from her squat until her cock was lined up with my clit.

“I think she deserves a kiss.” She lightly thrust forward, her large cockhead planting a wet kiss onto the underside, marking my small clitty with her precum. My stomach dropped as it spasmed with pleasure. This is really bad- I've got to sto-

“Oooh, seems like she likes it, maybe I’ll give her some more!” She rolled her hips, grinding her fat head against me so it pressed my clitty against my pelvis. It was like she was jerking me off with her cock, and though I wish I could’ve at least tried to stop her, my arms felt heavy and my legs had gone weak from her ministrations.

Oh Goddess, this is just like that one video- Nope, hold it in Blex, you can’t cum from just this, that would be patheti- “Be a good daughter and cum for mommy.” Leaning down and whispering in my sensitive Elfin ear, Mom brushed it lightly with her tongue and sent me over the edge.

I shuddered as my clitty squirted its load pathetically onto the top of Mom’s cock, glazing it with a pinkish sheen as I let out a surprising amount of shameful cummies. I breathed in shakily as the final spurts dribbled out onto her cockhead, feeling the weight of post nut clarity. Alex was going to fucking kill me, this was almost worse than if I’d attempted to fuck her! I had to stop this right now, before it got any worse!

“Alright sweetie, you’ve had your fun, now it’s Mommy’s turn. And since you got it all dirty, I think you need to clean it up first.” She smirked at me and pressed a hand on my shoulder, not that I needed help sinking to my knees.

“Yes Mommy.”

—xxxxxx—

“Oh my Goddess, Alex! How are you so good at- Hnngh!” Riley was unbearably horny, and having her slutty son suck her off was exactly the cure she needed, if not necessarily the one she wanted. Even though Alex had been wearing far from his usual clothing style, using a female avatar and playing a class that was literally a whore, she hadn’t expected him to be so good at sucking cocks. Maybe she’d rubbed off on him. Heh.

“Oooooh! Honey I’m gonna- HOOO!” She whined into her hand as Alex’s chin tapped her balls. His throat milking her was unbearable, and she blasted a gut load of cum deep into her Son’s (Daughter’s?) stomach. Hand pressed against the wall of the small changing room, she panted heavily as Alex slowly, inch by inch, pulled himself off her thick pipe.

“Did I do good Mommy?” Alex affected his voice in a way that hit deep into her brain, sparking all the fantasies she’d kept securely bottled away. No- she couldn’t- it didn’t matter that this was only a VR game- this was wrong and she shouldn’t be doing-

“What, was it so good you can’t speak? Don’t worry, since you’re still hard, we can keep going.” She looked down at herself, seeing that she was, in fact, still solid as steel, like she hadn’t just blasted the biggest load of her life into her Son’s digital avatar.

Alex placed a gentle peck on the tip of her cock, licking up a drip of cum before raising up slowly and bringing his face right up to hers. Looking her in the eye, he smirked before leaning right in, pressing his lips to her in a kiss that was very much not how family kissed each other. Her cock twitched as she tasted it on Alex’s tongue as he pushed it inside her mouth, making sure she got a good helping of her salty cocksweat mixed with the sweet flavour of her own seed.

There was a hint of something else in it… she couldn’t quite place her tongue on it, maybe roasted hazelnut? Which was strange. She hadn’t eaten any hazelnuts?

The thought derailed as Alex gripped the glands just below her cockhead and gave her a couple of quick jerks. “Focus Mom. You want Grandkids, right?”

He pulled down the tiny shorts his avatar was wearing and pulled aside the bodysuit to reveal her pristine pussy.

“Put some in me!”

Who was she to refuse a request from her darling child.

—xxxxxx—

Dallas couldn’t believe it. Adenia must have been playing a trick on her, there was no other reason why the clothes she was holding were- were so skanky! Sure a lot of the stuff in this store was… on the breezy side, but she wouldn’t have grabbed a top like this! It would barely even cover her sensitive nipples! In fact, half the tops she’d grabbed seemed custom made to emphasise how big they were!

“Like, ohmigosh, this’ll look so hawt on you!” She jumped as a hand shoved what could barely be called a dress through the curtain behind her. She flushed beet red as she mechanically grabbed the proffered item and held it up to her chest. It’ll be fine, Riley has been wearing less than this the whole time you’ve known her… sort of.

She was surprised her whole body didn’t turn red as she adjusted the top of the dress over her jiggling slutmeat. The gauzy fabric did the barest amount to cover her actual nipples, but nothing to cover the top or bottom of her large areola. She wasn’t even sure if she could go outside without getting arrested for public indecency, especially since the dress did essentially nothing to cover her ass or the rest of her titmeat, just displaying her like a piece of ham for sale with criss crossed netting squished into her ample flesh. Pulling on the tiny thong seemed almost natural at that point, it was just silly to try and wear her default panties with a dress like this where the whole point was to show her off.

“Come on, show me~!” The voice called, making her jump again. She couldn’t show anyone this! Could she? No- of course she shouldn’t! Except… “A-a-alright! I’m um- coming out!”

Her soaked pussy took control before her brain could get the better of her, and she snapped open the curtain and stepped out.

“Like, wow! I knew that would totes look good on you! Really shows off that slut body of yours!” Riley giggled and grabbed Dallas’s hand. “A lil’ lacking in accessories, but lucky for you I know just the place~” They began walking out into the store proper, Dallas putting up the barest resistance as her brain overheated from being seen by someone wearing slutwear like this.

It was only once the clerk was opening the front door did she realise what was happening. “W-w-w-wait, why are we going outside!”

“To show you off, silly! We’ll give ‘em a taste now, and then come back through once you’re all pierced up and have got some proper jewellery that lets everyone know that you’re open for business! They won’t even wait to take you back to the tavern by the time we’re done, they’ll be ravaging you in the street!”

Dallas whimpered as the far stronger woman placed a hand on her ass and pushed her outside, desperately trying to clench her thighs together so no one would see how wet she was.

—xxxxxx—

”Like, I dunno what you’re talkin’ about Seesee, nothin’s changed?” Beati put a finger to her lips and tilted her head in confusion. Seori pinched the bridge of her nose so hard I could almost hear it crack. This was the third circle in this roundabout conversation of Seori trying desperately to convince Beati that there was something wrong with her store.

“No- you aren’t listening to me! You are a seamstress! Not a vapid bimbo with air in her head like my sister! Look at what's happened to your dresses! Look at what you’re wearing!” Seori gesticulated wildly to the racks of slutwear, desperately looking at her friend for a hint of recognition in her eyes. She didn’t find it.

“Like, I think these clothes look super-duper cute, and I think you’d look really good in them too Seesee! Like, I’d just have to get your measurements an-” There it was again. It was like her bimbo brain had forgotten she’d already brought it up three times and been refused firmly and progressively less politely every time.

“I DON’T WANT TO GET MEASURED FOR SLUTWEAR, I WANT MY FRIEND BACK!” Seori was finally fed up with the circular conversation and blew up, screaming at the taller woman and stomping her little feet in anger. Seeing her start to twitch her fingers in a familiar pattern, I decided to step in before things escalated.

“Whoa, hey hey hey. easy there Seori.” I quickly stepped out of the shadows I’d been hiding in and grabbed her hand to prevent the casting. She turned to me with fury in her eyes.

“There is something wrong with her Alex! She’s not supposed to be like this!” The anger bled out into tears of frustration welling up in her eyes. “I just- I don’t know what’s going on!”

“We should exhaust all options before resorting to-” “Like, omigosh, you are sooo cute! You’d love our selection, but you need to get measured first! I was just about to bring Seesee into the back, so we can do you two together!” Seori muttered something while pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes, but I cocked an eyebrow at the fox lady.

“I already got measured? I was in here, what, like 20 minutes ago?” The woman might look like she breathed more dick than air and had an IQ to match, but it was less than half an hour since I’d seen the woman, surely she wasn’t that much of a goldfish? Actually, thinking of bimbos, where were the others? Sure, they could be changing, but B-lex would’ve at least poked his head out… “Why are you looking at me like that?”

The fennick woman was staring at me with a confused look on her face as her hands tufted her tail. “Um- like, what do you mean you got measured already? If you did, you’d be wearing our clothes? And like, you would have big boobies?”

I blinked at her.

“I’m sorry, what?”

—xxxxxx—

”Ow.” “Oh, quiet you big baby.” Xymmixxera cinched the fresh bandage tightly around her clanmate’s neck, not so tight it cut off his airflow, but tight enough to stem the arterial haemorrhage of black blood.

“Xym, we need to be more careful next time they have a tricksey looking one.” Kyszzemmeran spat out some blood onto the floor, where it began to sizzle and warp as the ambient barrier energies removed its chaotic influence.

Xym laughed to lighten the mood and patted Kysz on the back, careful to avoid the spikes that sprouted at odd angles from his spine. “Don’t worry, that one was just a fluke,” She hoped. “A good dose or three of the ‘flatty fixer’ will fix her right up, I’d like to see her hide like that with titties bigger than her head! Speaking of which, catch!”

Grabbing the gently tossed vial, he grumbled a deeply resonant sound that would give nightmares to children were any present, and moved to prep it with an injector. “I just don’t understand why the Captivating Mirror didn’t catch her? Baal’s Balls, the Perception Dampening Incense didn’t affect her either, she got me in the fucking neck! How could she be that strong, they’ve barely had a day to do anything!?” He carefully depressed the plunger and drained the affectionately named concoction into the sleeping Knife-ear. “I just have a bad feeling about this.”

She didn’t like it either, but they’d known the risks when they took the mission. Champions were not to be underestimated in any circumstance, especially since just being inside the barrier was a sentence for a true death. One slip up could easily spell their doom; this one with the Knife-ear almost did.

“Maybe we should think about pulling out? I’m sure the Captain would understand…” She grimaced at him. It wasn’t ideal, and while their operation was never a long-term one, pulling out after a single day of catching Champion’s wouldn’t fly with the Captain.

“No, I don’t think she would Kysz. Besides, I doubt we’ll run into another one like her. Again, she was probably just a fluke, got a lucky Milestone or something.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t jinx it.” Kysz grumbled, clicking his multitude spikes together as he stretched, working his oversized hands into his faceplate. “Can you check on that gnome cunt across the street tonight at least? Zorn forbid some Champion sees past the wards and wakes her up.” He leaned over and picked over their tool rack.

“Okay, now you’re just being paranoid-” he cut her off with a hard look. “I’m serious Xym, we have enough problems without her going around asking questions about why her friend’s store suddenly exclusively caters to hookers. Just make sure the wards are at max power.”

“Aww, but I don’t wanna get in the human suit again~ it makes me feel all jealous.” His gaze softened at her joke, and shaking his head he picked out the obsidian wand he’d been looking for. Moving over to the sleeping Elf, he waved the magical device over her.

“Heh, looks like she’s having nice dreams and seems to be accepting the ‘flatty fixer’, but…” He frowned, gently twisting the delicate magical item. “Something weird about her though. Vessel Density is saying 75%? Weird, I didn’t think that could go lower than 100…”

“Oh oh! You should shorten that little whore’s tendons too. She’ll have a hard time sneaking around if she has to wear eight inch heels all the time!” She turned and leaned over the alchemy setup, looking for a spare bottle of ‘tendon trimmer’. “Damn, might have to mix up some more.”

She didn’t like actually doing Alchemy. Not only was she not very good at it, it was so antithetical to their demonic nature that taking innately chaotic reactions and mapping them out into a perfectly ordered process felt blasphemous. No matter how much she wanted to mix up all the liquids and make it explode, she should-

There was a clatter from behind her. The sound of scraping furniture and liquid splashing on the ground caused her to turn around. “Kysz be careful, you know this shit’s-”

It took a second for her to process the image in front of her. Kyszzemmeran, her best friend and one of the most hardy fiends she knew, was slumped on the table, eyes wide and gaping like a fish as his black blood drained down his chest in a flood from the wide cut across his throat. Her eyes widened. “KYSZ!-”

Red eyes flashed towards her as a recognisably humanoid shape appeared on Kysz’s back, holding two smoking daggers. “FUCK!” She dove to the side, barely fast enough to avoid the flying steel that clipped her shoulder, and scuttled between the tables on her retrograde lizard legs.

Panicking, she moved as fast as she could towards the secret escape hatch in one of the cupboards Kysz had drilled into her head. He was always like that, and now he was gone- forever. He would never come back, they couldn’t carry each other through missions or fights to build up power anymore, like they had so many times before.

She stumbled, splaying onto the ground. No, she had to keep going she couldn’t- she tried to push herself back to her feet, but her legs wouldn’t respond. Looking back, black blood trailed down from two deep cuts in her legs. The irony wasn’t lost on her, nor was the fact that there was someone standing behind her.

A strange emotion filled her, something she had never felt in all her long years living in the hells, a deep and primal fear. Her claws desperately scrabbled at the floor as she tried to drag herself away from death itself.

“Damn. Feels kinda fucked up when I do it like this.” The feminine voice was the last thing she would ever hear, as a knife exploded through the back of her skull.

—xxxxxx—

”Ack, ew!” The oily blood that ran down onto my hand began to writhe and smoke, and it felt like holding onto a bunch of worms. I tried flicking my hand to get the blood off, and when that didn’t work I found a discarded piece of slutwear that barely had enough cloth to it to wipe the shit off.

Looking around, I gave the creatures I’d just killed the once over to make sure they were dead. The bigger one I’d taken out first was a six and a bit foot tall hulking humanoid-ish monster, with leathery purple-black skin, arms that were far too big for its torso, and what looked like iron spikes sticking out at strange angles from its bones. It had a thick iron faceplate that looked like it was welded to the front of its skull with flesh.

The one I’d just stabbed through the head looked far more pleasant- um, before I’d killed it- just a purple humanoid lizard with tiny wings on its back and cute retrograde claw legs, wearing a patchwork leather apron. She also had regular sized breasts, making her stand out slightly from every other female in this game, so it was worth mentioning. Since both of them were smoking and dissolving, I was fairly confident in pronouncing them dead without a coroner present. “It’s safe!”

“Are you sure they’re both dead?” Seori called out while peeking out from behind the reinforced door that led into the backroom.

“If literally lying on the floor dissolving isn’t them dying, I don’t know what is.” The knives were probably a write off, the metal had buckled when I’d used the [Nensho-ryoku] buff Seori had given me. I could foresee a game breaking combo if DD could get that Spell; I felt strong enough to punch through a wall. Did kinda take the fun out of the fight though, but I supposed that's what I signed up for when I decided to build sneak attack. Early game did tend to be pretty easy for glass cannons.

“Alright, I’m going to turn off your buffs then!” I immediately shoved the Spell into the ‘get later’ category. My legs wobbled and my arms felt like every single muscle had been ripped and put back together. I shot a glare at the erstwhile mage as she entered the room, holding her nose with a disgusted look on her face.

“By the Goddess, that’s foul. What? I did tell you that it would hurt, you were the one who wanted maximum power ‘regardless of how much it hurts’.” Man, fuck you past Alex. What a prick.

I ran through some quick cooldown stretches to get the immediate knots out, while Seori cast a Spell and looked over my party members. “Hmmm… It seems like they’re under a compulsion to sleep while an… alchemical process is happening? I’ll be honest this is a bit strange, nothing I’ve read on Demons mentioned them using alchemy. In fact, everything suggests Alchemy would be antithetical to most Demons, given they’re creatures of pure chaos.”

“Try that wand thingy, I saw the big one waving it over my- friend before I killed him.” She looked reticently at the smoking wand on the floor, then up at the melting mass of spikes and flesh that used to be the demon holding it. While the wand and floor had been covered in the demon’s blood, it had mostly evaporated. She approached hesitantly and picked it up with two fingers and gingerly waved it at DD, eyes glazing over.

“Crap, I can’t read any of this. It must be some kind of demon language… ah, it makes my head hurt just looking at it. Here.” She proffered the wand at me, wiping her hand off on DD’s tail while shuddering. I shook my head and waved the wand over Mom.

Far from being readable, the popup was literally just a bunch of wobbling lines, twisting in a headache inducing way making it almost impossible to look at even if I could understand what it meant. But as I focused on it I felt… something. The back of my head felt weird, like a nagging thought that I couldn’t remember, right on the tip of my mind.

Squinting and moving my head to follow the flow of the lines, I sort of… felt the movements… letting the feeling in my head lead me to the conclusion it wanted, when suddenly, it clicked.

It was the movements, not the lines.

I really should stop letting the voices in my head win, my life was a lot better before I understood how demons communicated.

My reaction was immediate, my guts heaved as the un-knowledge warped my perspective and fundamentally changed how I viewed language and the transmission of ideas through sound, and sent me to my knees and the entire contents of my stomach across the floor. I closed my eyes and just waited for it to pass, trying to think of anything else than what I’d just un-learned.

“By the Goddess! What happened??? Are you okay???” Seori created airflow to convey an idea through soundwaves, an entirely inefficient process, possibly concerned about the amount of fluids I’d expelled- No, stop, not like that, don’t think about it like that, she is worried about me throwing up, cmon Alex, keep it together. I coughed and spit, trying not to think about anything, and moved my lips to shape sou- reassured her.

“I’m- Haark!- I’m alright. Just uh- just the uh- smell! Got to me. My uh- Spell, wore off.” Don’t think about the real reason…

“Oh. Rather an over the top reaction, don’t you think?” I directed the finger towards her vague direction and carefully opened my eyes, only to get blasted with the unclosed popup ‘written’ in Hells Oration.

’Reading’ it made me feel queasy, but I held firm and managed to close it without losing my stomach a second time, only for another popup to take its place.

Mutual Understanding had upgraded, halving the time I needed to listen to languages to learn them, but also making me more understanding which wasn’t great. Hopefully it didn’t drag me into any more quests like this. I dismissed that popup too, and turned to Seori. “That wand said something about Vessel Integrity. Do you know anything about that?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ve never heard of anything like that… Maybe I should go get the guard. They should have awakening salts, and even if those don’t work, we should still inform them of a demonic presence in town.”

“Yeah that’s a good idea, I’ll look through the alchemy stuff to see if I can figure out what they were doing. Actually, maybe grab an Alchemist too. Whatever they were doing likely had something to do with Alchemy, hopefully it was nothing too bad.” Seori nodded and carefully picked her way around my, uh- puddle, leaving through the open reinforced door. I took a second to spit on the ground before looking over my sleeping companions, and myself.

Hopefully if they had started something, it was obvious and could be reversed- …I frowned.

I looked at my body on the table. Then down at my own chest.

“Fuck.”

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

“So, you’re saying that this-” The thin, tired looking man waved his wand-pen thing over my sleeping body, “-is you, and the… body I am speaking to right now is… some kind of magical construct? That has your brain inside it.” He gave me a flat look, but to be fair his face hadn’t really shown much emotion other than tired this entire time.

“Yes!- well, basically. There’s a little more to it but you got the jist.”

He regarded my sleeping form, eyeing up the freshly grapefruit sized tits pushing against my jacket. They’d gotten bigger in the time it took for Seori to get back with the guard and despite them literally expanding in front of everyone’s eyes, no one seemed to be able to recognise it. Even I had to keep checking my chest to keep myself on track, because it kept trying to slip my mind. “I don’t see what that has to do with shrinking your tits, are you sure they aren’t supposed to be that big?”

“Aaaargh!” I threw my hands up in frustration. I could feel my Shadow Clone’s Mana running out and I was sure if I got pulled back inside I wouldn’t notice my new additions. If I couldn’t convince this fucking perv that I wanted them back to a reasonable size, I’d be jiggling my fat tits around for the next however long we were stuck in this piece of shit game! And I wouldn’t even realise something was wrong!

“Petrovic, stop being an ass and help the poor thing.” His assistant called from across the room. Tapping his chin with his wand-pen, his eyes flickered from me, to my chest and back to my fat tits on the table. “Okay, fine. But, are you sure you want to ‘reverse’ the change? Legal means of natural breast growth on this level are hard to come by, and if this construct body is representative of your actual size, you could really use-” I was about to stab this man.

“PETROVIC.” The room turned icy as the Alchemist’s assistant said his name, and the two guards and detective that were combing over the demon’s workshop for clues suddenly became very interested in a cupboard in the corner.

The Alchemist cringed. “Okay, okay- it was just a joke! I was just trying to lighten the mood a little-” “Then you can make a double batch of No Tracts of Land and lighten my body a little too, hmm?” His assistant crossed her arms under her own prodigious chest and glared at him.

He went pale. “O-o-okay, l-let’s not be hasty-! Let’s see…” He scrambled over to the ingredient cabinet and started mumbling to himself “I can probably whip up some No Tracts of Land with the stuff they’ve got here… huh, I wonder who their supplier was, I couldn’t get half this stuff…”

I sent the assistant a gracious smile. “If my construct disappears, can you please make sure he gives me the potion?” She smiled back and nodded. Thank fuck she was here, otherwise I might’ve had to do something drastic.

Since there wasn’t much I could do in here other than worry about my dwindling Mana, I went out into the storefront to find Seori and see how Beati was doing. The unfortunate seamstress had suffered some pretty bad backlash when the Spell holding her brain cells hostage had abruptly cut off when I’d killed one of the demons. I found them sitting in the couch area I’d been hoping to escape to earlier in the day, Beati’s head in Seori’s lap as she cast some kind of cooling Spell on her.

“Seems like you’re doing better. I hope there aren’t any lasting effects from that Spell breaking so abruptly.” I took a seat across from them and kicked my feet up to stretch my tendons. I dunno why, but they felt a little sore after that ‘fight’ with the lizard. Probably phantom empathy from when I cut hers, fuckin increased understanding…

“Oh, my heroine returns! I’m fine, don’t mind this little worrywort, I just said my head felt a little hot and she was all ‘you must lay down! Here, I’ll cool you down!’ She sounded like my mother.” The fox woman giggled as Seori's cheeks flushed slightly red with embarrassment, only to yelp cutely as Seori pressed her cold fingers into the back of her neck. “Seesee!”

Seori smirked and relaxed, leaning back. “Ignore her Alex, fixing her intelligence means she still only has one-” “Hey! I have at least two!” “-did you sort things out with Petrovic? I’m sorry I couldn’t help explain your Spell, I- uh- fell out with my sister before she learned the higher level Kunoichi stuff.” I was still annoyed that out of all my Spells, [Kage no Bunshin] and only [Kage no Bunshin] was written in Kunoichi code. Of course the one Spell I needed to explain my predicament was the one no-one else could read.

“I did get it through his thick skull eventually, but it took his assistant growling at him for him to agree to shrink my tits back down to normal.” She shook her head, bemused, and pressed her fingers together to finish the cooling Spell.

“I’m not surprised, the man’s crazy about big breasts, it would never cross his mind that you might want to not have them. You wouldn’t believe how surprised everyone was when he got engaged to his assistant Marchisa. They always got along, but she was…” Beati laughed as she sat up and picked up the story from Seori. “Flatter than the flatland her Pa owns outside of town! No behind, stick thin, it was a wonder Petrovic even gave her the time of day!” She giggled again.

“Of course, we all find out why when she walks down the aisle with the biggest, most natural looking tits anyones ever seen- I suppose I should’ve seen it coming when they asked me to adjust the dress for a K-cup, but I was so busy at the time I didn’t even think about it.” She laughed and spun up into another tangentially related tale about how her husband had challenged everyone at the wedding to a lumber tossing competition, and since he had a few drinks in him, wouldn’t take no for an answer. Not even the children were safe.

“You should have seen the look on poor Marchisa’s face! Her stunning reveal and most important day, shown up by my husband making a fool of himself and conking her new husband on the head! The poor thing was crying her eyes out!”

“I was crying from laughing too hard, Beautia, and you were lucky your husband didn’t give himself a concussion flipping that log around.” I flipped my head back over the couch and caught the upside down eye of the Alchemist’s assistant.

“Marchisa! Don’t be like that, I was going to get there. Eventually.” Marchisa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms under her chest again.

“Well it’s nice to see you’re doing well enough to gossip, but I’m still going to give you a full examination. We don’t know what kind of things these demons might have implanted in you, and the Mayor said we should investigate everything. Apparently, there’s a Reclaimer squad getting mobilised from Eastgate, and they want accurate reports on everything.”

“Reclaimers? That’s a bit excessive of a response, is it not? Surely some rogue demons don’t warrant a whole squad?” Seori adjusted her glasses and scrunched her face up.

“Can’t say, but the Mayor is using the messaging system to coordinate this, so it must be serious. He wouldn’t spend Mennets so frivolously otherwise.” Beautia carefully stood up with help from Seori.

“No use worrying about it, I’m sure the Mayor will put out a bulletin if anything serious happens. It’s been lovely talking to you Alex, as a reward I’d like you to offer you some clothes to replace those ratty shorts! Seriously, they look like you burnt a pair of trousers to make them! I have a lovely skirt here that you’d look…”

She trailed off and looked around at the slutwear displayed on her mannequins. She did her best, but I caught the light swallow and slight twinkle in her eye. “Oh. Right. I wouldn’t want to presume you’d wear any of this stuff. Golly, it’s going to take an age to get my stock back in order without Wendel here…”

“I’m sure we can convince the Mayor to message your husband and get him to come back early. He’ll probably run all the way back without rest!” Seori squeezed Beati’s hand and she smiled back, all of us pretending not to notice as she wiped her face quickly.

“Alright, Marchisa, let’s go to the dressing room and you can do a thorough inspection to make sure whatever plans those demons-” she said it with a hefty dose of venom “-had don’t come to fruition.”

“Is it okay if Seori comes too? I’d like to enlist her help with the magical imaging side of things.” Beautia and Seori both nodded. “Good; Alex, thank you for not stabbing my husband earlier, he’ll call you in when he’s done with that potion.”

They went into the back, leaving me absolutely alone for the first time in a while. I stretched out and looked around the honestly pretty spacious storefront, eyes catching on some tiny short shorts and blue miniskirts.

I looked down at my own ratty booty shorts. “Maybe I’ll just have a look around. There must be some pants here that are better than these.”

—xxxxxx—

”…substitute a few ingredients, but it should work. My Alchemist’s Eye says it will anyway.” I held the potion up to my sceptical eye and swirled it around, not really appreciating the flecks of brown that floated around in the pine-needle green liquid. I gave Petrovic the side eye.

“Don’t look at me like that! My wife can vouch for me, I’m good at my job!” He huffed and crossed his arms in a familiar fashion, but there was no bounce to it. “She’s walking proof of my ability to mould the human body!-” “I’m an Elf.” “-That!- Um! …Most Alchemical processes interact the same way between all races, the chances of it not doing what it's supposed to are miniscule. Less than one percent.”

There was nothing for it, my own Alchemy Skill barely let me keep up with his explanation of the ingredients, I would just have to assume he knew what he was doing and that this potion would return my tits to their original size.

“So do I just, like, drink it, or…”

“Umm- Maybe use an injector- here.” He took out a delicate glass syringe and prepped it with the toxic looking potion after I handed it back to him. “Getting it directly into the bloodstream should make the process faster and less… painful, than if ingested.” He went hand me the syringe, but then hesitated.

“Actually, maybe I should-” “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” He put two fingers on my sleeping body’s already exposed wrist and prepared the needle, but hesitated again. “Are you sure you want to-” “Yes.” “It's just- they’re so lovely-” “I don’t care.” “You look really good with them-” “That is a lot less convincing than you think it is.” “I could make them bigger!” “Just inject me with the damn potion.”

With a look like I’d asked him to put down a cute puppy, he quickly found a vein and depressed the syringe. With a heavy sigh, he cleaned up the tools and looked forlornly at my chest. “I suppose I’ll run some more tests on your party members. I just pray their behinds are normally that size, I don’t want to destroy art again.”

With slumped shoulders he wandered over to the tools he had set up. This guy was a real drama queen. Whatever. “Just a heads up, I’m gonna get back inside my body. So don’t freak out when I disappear.”

The guards and detective who were still investigating the room stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me, but Petrovic just waved his hand at me dismissively. I ignored them and grabbed my own hand. I… felt around in the back of my head for the Mana tether, following it down to my hand, where it intermingled with the mana in my actual body. Doing a final check to make sure it was secure, I 'pulled' on the tether to unlatch it from my head. My stomach dropped a little as my perspective 'fell' into myself before blanking out.

At least the dissolution didn't make me sick this time.

…

Jeremy blinked rapidly as the Elf literally dissolved in front of him, the Mana flow giving off glowing particles that shone brightly before dissipating into the air. “Dammit.”

“Pay up fellas.” Detective Jarepy said as he stood up from the cabinet he was investigating.

—xxxxxx—

”Goddess your ass feels too good honey!” Whoever was outside could definitely hear the sloppy sounds of my Mom’s cock plunging in and out of my sloppy cum filled asshole. Not that I cared, but the small part of my brain that wasn’t completely overwhelmed by the feeling of my prostate getting punched by Mom’s fat rod had to wonder.

“Ooooh! I’m cumming Alex!” She slammed her hips into mine, bottoming out her cock in my asshole and twitching violently as she came inside for the fourth time. My clit twitched in time with her shaft, each pulse sending more pathetic spurts of cum onto the floor to join the rest of the spilled cum.

“Ah! So cute!” Mom reached her hand down to catch my cummies with her hand. Goddess she was so fucking big. “Cmon, clitty! You can do it! Give Mommy some more cum!” The way she’d lent over put her mouth right next to my ear, her breath tickling the sensitive organ and the words sending me over the edge again.

“Yay!” She giggled as more cum dribbled into her hand, using two fingers on her other hand to squeeze out anything that was left inside, and causing my prostate to grind on her cock again as I was held a couple inches off the ground purely by the strength of her steel slab.

When she was finally satisfied with the amount, she began slurping it up like good soup and holding it in her mouth. Her fingers popped one by one as she crammed as much of the delicious drink into her mouth as she could. I stared up at her in a daze as she smirked, then leant down and engulfed my mouth with hers, pushing her tongue and a load of my own sweet seed into my mouth.

We snowballed the cum back and forth for a while, before she greedily tried to take it all back, leading to a battle of tongues as I tried to steal my own come from her so I could drink it. I groaned as she ground her cock into my ass again, capitalising on the distraction to scrape out my mouth and swallow for the win.

We both gasped for breath as our lips parted. My head lolled back in a daze as I felt Mom’s hard shaft shift inside me as she readjusted her grip. How she was still rock solid after cumming so many times, I couldn’t fathom. A small part of me cried out that we should stop, there was no way that DD hadn’t heard my cheeks getting destroyed by Mom, nor could she have missed my loud embarrassing exclamations for fat Mommy cock. There was still a chance I could hide this from Alex-

The curtain rattled open and I immediately snapped out of my daze. “WAIT- IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS JUST-!” “Oh by the fucking Goddess.”

Alex stood in the entryway to the small changing room, pinching the bridge of his nose in consternation. “I fucking knew it. How did I fucking know this was what I was going to walk in on! Aaah! I shouldn’t have waited for the fucking potion!”

“Language young lady!” Mom huffed like her cock wasn’t balls deep inside my ass. Alex glared at her. “Oh fuck off-”

“Alex, shit- I’m sorry I didn’t- she just came in and-” This was really, really bad, though he didn’t seem outright furious, so maybe there was a chance for me to explain myself so I wasn’t banished to the box inside our head.

“B-lex, it’s- actually, no. It’s not fine- what the fuck dude! Mom comes in and whips her dick out and you just go along with it! You could’ve at least pretended you didn’t like it!”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself honey, it’s not like you would’ve been any different. You did immediately fall to your knees the moment a cute girl showed you her fat-” “Shut up, dream Mom. You’re not real and I’m not having you do a shrink-psych profile thing with your cock in my ass.” Mom pouted, but did pull me off her dick, making me whine as she scraped my prostate with her tip one last time.

Alex gave me a disgusted look as she set me down on the ground. “Goddess, you’re a fucking freak.”

Composing myself as best I could, I bowed my head to Alex. “I’m really really really sorry Alex! I really didn’t mean to have sex with Mommy- Imean Mom- fuck-! Look, even if this is a dream, I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry.”

He sighed. “Did you at least know it was a dream the whole time?”

“No…” He sighed again and rubbed his temples.

“I don’t know whether that makes me feel better or worse about this. Whatever, I need your help to wake up. Whatever those demons did has us so far under that even realising this is a dream isn’t pulling us out.” I followed him out of the changing room into our room and took a seat on the bed. “So if you can’t do something about it, we’re stuck in here till the prick Alchemist out there figures out a way to wake us up, which I don’t have an estimate for.” He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a smooth drag as the moonlight from the window framed him cinematically.

“Alex, don’t smoke. I don’t care if you think it’s cool and all your friends are doing it, lung cleaning costs a lot of money.” Fake Mom sat down next to me for some reason, I wasn’t sure why she was still here. Her clothes had changed into a pair of tight mom jeans that showed off her massive dick print, and a white t-shirt that read ‘I ♥ ️my son’ that did nothing to hide her clearly erect nipples.

Alex poked his tongue out at her and took another puff. I closed my eyes, trying to feel around our soul like I’d done before… but it was all blurry, like looking through someone else’s glasses. I shook my head. “It’s all too blurry, like trying to read in a dream. Which makes sense, I guess.”

Alex blew smoke from his nose and leaned back into the window cubby. “Whatever… I guess we can just sit around until they wake us up.”

I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and put on some music; a random half remembered track that fit the night mood pretty well, and took the chance to look around our room. It was almost the same as the real life room, but there were a couple inconsistencies that I chalked up to this being a dream. Like the prop sword and shield on the wall were different, and the gymnastic awards on my pinboard were the wrong colour.

The closet still had it’s pile of clothes, bookshelf was filled with familiar knick knacks, video games and books, and the posters on the wall were all how they looked in my memory: a Valkyria one that had one of the chicks from the main story looking fine on it, one for Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance with a bunch of characters in action poses, a gymnastics one where the girl’s tits were far too big to be actual gymnasts (which was different from real life but I just chalked it up to dream), and a big pinup of Mom in her Metal Bikini blowing a kiss at the camera… wait. That one was supposed to be an old poster of Red Sonya, not Mom.

“I’m bored!” Mom suddenly piped up, leaning over my bed to grab my phone off the nightstand. I felt a spike of panic run through me for some reason, but it passed quickly as I reasserted to myself that this wasn’t real and there was nothing on my phone that she could find.

“Golly, there’s a lot of Mom focused porn in here Alex.”

“Gah!”

—xxxxxx—

”…will be up in a second ma’am. It just takes a little bit sometimes.” I scrunched my nose up and smacked whatever smelly thing was making it sting away. Coughing, I pushed myself up off the table and rubbed my eyes.

“See! Perfectly fine.” I gave a teary glare at the voice I didn’t recognise… no, wait, it was Petrovic, right. I was still in the backroom of the tailor, in my own body. I patted myself down to make sure everything was correct. Gripping my chest, they were the same tiny B-cup tits I’d had before. I think. Probably. They weren’t straining against my jacket at all so they must’ve been correct.

My relief, as it was, got cut short when I opened my eyes again and just about poked one out on a thin blade perched directly in front of my face. I froze and blinked a couple times. Are we still dreaming? ((Nope, that’s real, though hot Elf chick holding us up at bladepoint is a dream of ours, I think I’m all dreamed out for today.))

“State your Purpose Demon!” The hot Elf chick threatened me with reverb.

”Focus on me, Hellspawn, lest you lose your head!-” “Whoa, I think that’s a going a little far-”

“Be quiet!” She didn’t take her eyes off me as she snapped at Petrovic as he tried to speak up. “This is your fault to begin with! Tell me what you did to this Champion’s Vessel, Monster!”

She continued to wave her rapier in my face. It seems she had jumped to a couple wrong conclusions, and I either had to fix those wrong conclusions or it would be a long walk back from the respawn point. ((Wait, is respawn sleep, church or graveyard based?))

“I didn’t do shit lady, it’s my body! I told these guys that earlier- actually, who are you?!” I leaned to the side to see past the Elf, hoping to spy someone who could help me explain what had happened. I spotted a cringing Petrovic and the two guardsmen from earlier. “Hey! Who is this lady-”

“Silence, Demon! I’m the one asking questions! State your Purpose!”

”Stop casting Spells on me! I’m not-”

“State. Your. Purpose!”

”I’m not a FUCKING DEMON YOU CRAZY BITCH! STOP WAVING YOUR SWORD IN MY FACE!” This quest fucking sucks, I do everything correctly so my character doesn’t get Goddess damned bricked in a really insidious Developer trap and at every fucking turn the NPCs are questioning me and now I’m getting treated like a fucking demon! I was going to file a complaint with Cendenia.

“State your Purpose!”

B-lex, get ready. If this cunt wouldn’t listen to me, I would just have to show her the Spell. ((Ready.)) I locked eyes with the Elf, hers looking furiously confused as she yelled at me again. My fingers quickly and cleanly snapped through the motions for [Kage no Bunshin].

By the time she noticed, it was too late. “What are you doin- OUGH!”

We were all surprised as a fully formed B-lex shot out of my chest like an Elven cannonball and slammed head first into the Elf’s stomach, sending her staggering back. Petrovic’s eyes bugged out and the guards went stock still, faces suspiciously blank and staring at me. I, for one, was just as stunned as the woman I’d accidentally headbutted in the stomach.

“Owwwww…” B-lex groaned and rolled on the floor, holding his head. The Elf slumped to her knees, tight white uniform trousers scuffing as her sword clattered to the floor beside her. Now that I didn't have a sword waving in my face, I could see the prominent porcelain badge depicting a diving eagle holding a ribbon that read ‘Retrahe Terram Deae’ pinned to the breast of her dark blue cavalry jacket.

Her sharp eyes, red like mine, combined with her severe chin and hawk-like appearance would’ve made for an intimidating visage; were her head not currently lolled back, eyes unfocused and tongue hanging out.

“Holy shit, I didn’t mean to do that.”

Chapter Text

”You were too forceful with the movements!” “You should’ve said something! I didn’t even know that could happen!” “Well you do now! She’s okay… right?” We both looked at the twitching Elf. Some drool dripped off the end of her tongue onto her pristine blue riding jacket, which was rising and falling, thank the Goddess.

At the same time, we noticed a dark stain forming on the front of her trousers. “Wait did she-”

“Dagnabit, Orina! Whaddid I tell ya’ bout lettin’ yer guard down!?” We all turned to the entrance. A massive man, so tall the top of his head cleared the doorframe and in a uniform similar to the elf on the ground stood yelled at her from the doorway.

“I toldjya to-” *Bang*! His head smacked the metal frame hard enough I was sure he put a dent in it. “-GAH! Bastard!” He rubbed his head with a massive hairy hand, pushing back the slightly greasy grey hair that had fallen in front of his chiseled face, ducking lower than necessary to get through the door.

“Damned door- Ahem! As I was sayin’… ah, whatever, it’s not like she can hear me.” In stark contrast to his heavyset, muscled demeanor, the large black combat boots he wore made very little sound as he crossed the room to the Elf. I was immediately on edge, and prepared to reach for my daggers.

“Now now, lil’ lady. Don’t go doing something you’ll regret.” He said it quietly enough that only I could hear it, a look from his sharp green eyes making me tense even more. This man wasn’t one to be fucked with. He crouched down to check on his companion, stroking his cropped grey beard.

“What did I tell ya bout all those maso-chiz-m Milestones girl? S’all fine an’ dandy till someone gets the drop on ya.” He spoke quietly to the dazed woman, gently placing a hand on her shoulder before turning to me.

“Since you have taught my trainee a valuable lesson, I am willing to not draw this out. Tell me what you know, Demon.” I froze, eyes darting around as I searched for an escape. I didn’t really want to die right now, maybe I could escape while B-lex distracted-

His face split into a huge grin. “Ha! I’m sorry missy, couldn’t resist! No way a Demon could replicate a genuine Kunoichi shadow clone like that!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at B-lex, who was crouched on the floor ready to spring at him. “I apologise for my Junior, she’s a bit of a feisty one. Always acts before she thinks, an’ stubborn as a Nightmule to boot!”

He laughed, patting her on the shoulder. “A-hem, anyways, I’m sure you’re confused as to why we’re barging in here. I’m Jeddah Fastax, Crimson Rank Reaper for the Reclaimers and this lil’ lady’s my trainee, Orina Illuvone, Prospective Steel Rank Duelist. You might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot, but I think she’ll look back on this fondly.” His face split widely with a conspiratorial grin and he reached out a hand to shake that could have easily crushed my head.

I took a beat to compose myself. “Armageddon Lex, n-nice to meet you.” I carefully placed my comparatively tiny hand in his and he gave it a measured shake, putting just a touch more force into it to let me know just how much he was holding it back for my benefit. “I’m uh- sorry about Orina, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Naw, it’s alright Lexy, it was my fault anyway. I shoulda had her logging the interviews, but she insisted that she should ‘stand guard’ over you lot, just in case there were any more demons.” He shook his head. “Too much book learnin’ this one, not enough experience. Hopefully this’ll give her a kick up the ass, she’s lucky you really weren’t a demon.” Standing up, he took stock of the whole room.

He pointed at the guards. “You two go and help out front, there’s a buncha lollygaggers lookin’ in on an active investigation that need clearing out. I have everythin’ in hand here, if a demon shows up for some unfinished business, I’ll make sure it regrets it.” The two guards snapped a clean salute and shuffled out the door.

His gaze shifted to his collapsed companion, then over to B-lex, and he spoke quietly again so Petrovic wouldn’t hear. “Now, I didn’t get your name lil’ miss shadow clone, but would you mind doing me a favour?” B-lex gave him a bewildered look, mirroring mine. How did he know B-lex was autonomous?

“Uh… B-lex, and yeah, sure.”

“B-lex, great, it would be mighty fine if you could go out front and fetch a new pair of lower garments for my trainee here. I don’t know much about women’s fashion, and I’m sure she’d appreciate something… fresh to wear when she wakes up.” He wiggled his eyebrows at B-lex, who looked at me. I shrugged.

He smirked at Orina, and I could tell she wasn’t going to like what he picked. “Alright.”

Jedda nodded, gently picking up Orina and placing her on one of the tables as B-lex followed the guards out. “She’ll be up in a couple of minutes… hopefully. Anyway, I have some questions about your statements earlier, if you’re up to it?” I nodded.

“Great! Now, you said there were four of you when you entered the store, but then your statement says you ‘surreptitiously left via inhabiting a Shadow Clone’. Was the fourth person your autonomous summoned personality, or was there someone else?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, that was my other summon, Adenia. She’s a Pocket Pixie.”

…

Wait! Shit- Adenia! What the fuck happened to her- oh shit, she must be pissed! “I see… I assume she was with your body when you were captured?”

“Uhh… yeah, um- I can probably summon her if you’d like? She might know what happened.”

He nodded. “I’d appreciate it.”

I pulled up the tooltip for [Summon no Jutsu]. “Maybe take a step back, I haven’t actually used this before so I’m not sure how it works.” Jeddah raised an eyebrow at me, but acquiesced.

Feeling out the Spell form and letting it guide my movements I closed my eyes, steadying my breathing and stilling my Mana. I stood there, just feeling my Mana flow around my body for maybe a minute, before my hands snapped into motion, moving decisively, holding on each sign for a second before flowing cleanly to the next. The Mana swelled from inside my core, flowing out in ribbons of glittering pink guided by the ideas my hands were presenting. The swirling Mana coalesced into a glowing pink sphere that spun slowly, eddies of white and glitter trailing around the mini gas-giant like structure.

I opened my eyes, admiring the pulsing orb along with everyone else in the room. B-lex had returned at some point, and Orina was sitting up on her table scowling at me, but was luckily being firmly held in her seat by one of Jeddah’s massive paws. Even Petrovic had paused ministering to my Mom to look at the orb.

I exhaled, suddenly feeling very shaky and was a second away from falling over. B-lex quickly stepped up beside me to hold me up. “Shit, I didn’t even think about the Mana cost on that.” I leaned against the table and took another shaky breath. I could feel the deep soul ache from my Mana channels rearing up again, and wondered if maybe overtaxing my Mana again so soon after receiving a backlash wasn’t exactly the best idea.

There was a muted pop, and the orb dissipated in a shower of glittering sparkles revealing Adenia’s form in pure pink, before her texture slowly faded in. She looked basically the same, except for the bite mark that faded in around her midsection. She locked onto me and flew up to me like a speeding pink bullet.

“ALEX! Thank Titania! I thought you were dead when that huge brute hit you! Champion or not, you don’t just walk away from something like that! Are you okay? No concussions? No extra limbs or evil thoughts?” She flitted around my head, worrying around my ears and peering into my eyes.

“I’m fine, Adenia. I just used a bit too much Mana summoning you. Honestly, I’m more worried about that bite mark- what happened to you?” She finally stopped fussing around my head and floated backwards.

“Well, you stabbing the bastard knocked me out of whatever mental trap they had me in, for all the good it did! I tried to run away after you went down, but i didn’t get very far before the lizard one grabbed me out of the air and fucking ate me! Bit me right in half!” She motioned to her stomach and shivered.

B-lex spoke up. “Holy shit… I’m really sorry I wasn’t able to protect you Deni, that must have felt awful.”

She shook her head. “I wish! It felt fucking great! Hardest I’ve cum in years if you don’t count when we made our contract! I didn’t know dying like that would feel like that, yah know!? Maybe next time we fight some wolves- oh! Or maybe a troll would… Why are you looking at me like that?”

We both stared at her. I was slightly shell shocked, so B-lex picked up the slack. “Adenia, I’m not letting you get eaten by enemies to satisfy your newfound Vore fetish.”

“Wha- I wasn’t going to ask f-fer th-that! Doesn’t have to be getting eaten…” For the first time since I’d met her, Adenia blushed and looked down, sheepishly twiddling her leg. “I was hoping maybe you’d let me get ripped apart or smushed every once in a while. As a treat.”

I put my head in my hands. “I really don’t want to feed into this right now- can you just give a statement to the investigator?” I waved vaguely to Jeddah, who had been politely holding down his red-headed attack dog while Adenia revealed her new fetish to me.

Adenia looked mortified as she turned to our audience. Jeddah gave her a smile and a little wave, while Orina sulked and glared at her. Adenia ignored her, instead suddenly hyper focusing on Jeddah’s massive hand, which now that I thought about it was probably bigger than her whole body…

She quickly spun back to me. “Do you think he’d-”

“NO!”

—xxxxxx—

”Thank you very much for your time, ladies. My associates from the Eastgate branch will appreciate having an accurate picture of what happened here.” Jeddah nodded to the furiously blushing Orina, who was simultaneously trying to make sure her tiny white mini skirt wasn’t riding up over her ass and write down what everyone was saying.

Alas, she only had two hands, writing on her tablet required both; so Adenia and I were getting a fantastic show of her pale jiggling globes as she desperately ground her legs together in an attempt to pretend she wasn’t an exhibitionist who was getting off on wearing the tiny piece of slutwear I had picked out for her.

“Poor girl, it’s a shame she’s so repressed, she has a great ass.” Adenia ‘whispered’ to me loudly enough that Orina could hear it. She turned and shot us a glare, but her red tipped ears wiggling gave away her true feelings. Alex shot us both a look as well. I know, don’t antagonise the homicidal Elf chick.

“…contact you for a follow-up, just check in with the mail services inside town. If it’s urgent enough, you’ll be contacted by direct message.” Jeddah did something with his HUD and the team’s eyes glazed over, looking at whatever he’d just sent them. “There’s mine and Orina’s contact info, just in case.”

“So, we’re done here? Can we leave?” Mom hadn’t been the happiest that she’d lost valuable shopping time, first to demons knocking her out, then to giving statements to Jeddah, and hadn’t been subtle about it.

“Yes, you can leave. I’m sure you have important things to be getting to and I wouldn’t want to take up more of your time. Orina.” He nudged his trainee as she put away her tablet. There was a conversation between their expressions, but it looked like Jeddah won as Orina scowled and turned to Alex.

“Please accept my apology for accusing you of being possessed by a demon earlier.” She did a quick bow, flashing us with the cute lace blue thong I’d picked out for her earlier. Damn, I made a great choice.

Saying our goodbyes, we barely made it back out front before being stopped once again, this time by Seori and Beautia who held out a paper package to Alex. “I know I said I didn’t have anything to reward you with, but I got a sudden Inspiration! With a little helping hand from Seori, I made these for you and I think you’ll like them! Here, you can use the changing rooms- no, I’m not letting my heroine leave my boutique in those, I have a reputation to repair and the neighbours are outside, in, in!”

Alex looked bewildered as he was swept up in the excited seamstress’s tri-tail tornado, shooting me a pleading look at which I just shrugged. Mom huffed and crossed her arms, staring after her waylaid son. “Jammy dodger, why does he keep getting all the good loot?” She was obviously joking, but it was obvious to me she was genuinely a little annoyed. We’d have to find a way to make it up to her later.

“Anyway, Alex, are you in this thing? Is it a Simul-Mind, Multi-Perspective, or Sub-Brain? Or is it just an NPC like Adenia? I always have a hard time telling with these things.” She leaned over and knocked on my forehead.

I swiped her hand away. “Simul-Mind, but with Sub-Brain aspects. High reconciliation capacity with extremely low reconciliation time. It’s kind of like being in two places at once, but they’ve done something that makes sharing information really snappy and allows for differing perspectives from ‘both’ of us. It’s almost having a fully fledged ‘Sub-Personality’, but it can act autonomously since we need to be in eyeshot to reconcile. We’re calling the Shadow Clone B-lex to make it easier to differentiate.”

I agreed with Alex that it was best to be… mostly honest with her, just leaving out the fact that I was still active even when the clone wasn’t to avoid mother making skitzo jokes; and the fact that Alex could inhabit the Shadow Clone to reduce confusion. The current story was that Alex sent me out to look through the bookstore while they were getting ‘measured’.

Mom furrowed her brow. “That seems way too good! All that from one Spell is busted! I didn’t see anything that good in my kit, that’s so unfair! Maybe I should… should head to the Kunoichi guild and change classes… with enough potions I could use that one skill you have to dodge tank.” I sighed. Mom would always complain about my skills and abilities being broken or overpowered, but she’d never put in the work to get her own properly powerful kit.

Not that she’d be able to create the same conditions Alex had to get me and [Kage no Bunshin], but that was well beside the point. “I’m sure you’ll get your own broken Spells, and if you let me make a levelling map you’ll get them even faster~”

She scowled at that, but it mollified her well enough. “Fine. But we’re still going shopping, and you have to let me pick out some clothes for your clone-” “I’m not sure it works like that-” “And I get to pick our next dungeon. There must be something around here that has holy loot for me and DD.”

Completely ignoring my protestations, Mom perused the shopfront for something cute while we waited for Alex. Luckily, he came back out before Mom could force me to try on a tight pink midriff baring top.

“Eee! OMG you look soooo good! I could just eat you up!” Alex went bright red as Mom squealed and ran over to him. She was correct of course, the new tight black fishnets were a fantastic addition to our outfit, all we needed were some black combat boots and we’d have punk chic down pat. The new shorts covered more than our rags had, but still left about an inch of ass out to tantalise anyone who happened to be looking. I wasn’t sure if it was the tailoring or our new Milestone at work, but they fit incredibly well, nice and tight, but still letting it jiggle.

As evidenced when Mom grabbed a handful Alex’s ass, giving it a squeeze before letting it bounce. Alex did a great job keeping his face neutral as he just about wrecked his new shorts, luckily no one noticed the tiny twitch nor his tense shoulders.

“Since you already have new clothes, we can spend your budget on the rest of us!” Mom wrapped an arm around him, gesturing to the rest of the party.

“Now! Let’s go shopping!… For real this time.”

I sent a silent prayer to Gardenia that we didn’t run into any more demons.

—xxxxxx—

After almost an entire day spent shopping, I was more than eager to do anything else. Looking at outfits and gear was nice in smaller doses, but Mom had spent the almost entire party wallet on new clothes. When she was finally done, it was getting late enough that it would be dark by the time we made it to any dungeons we might want to run.

Mom had argued that we should stay at ‘The Chilled Poultry’ again and go in the morning, but surprisingly DD had backed me up when I said we should go camping so we were fresh when we entered. Since she was outnumbered four to one, She gave in and we spent the rest of our cash on camping and adventuring gear.

I came back into the clearing in front of the dungeon entrance with a bundle of sticks as Mom nailed the final peg in for the second tent. I averted my gaze as she stood, raising her bountiful ass first in that ingrained teasing way that made her hard to live with. It was crazy that the burgundy red surcoat she’d bought made her look more naked, despite the fact that she was wearing objectively more clothes.

The heart print on the back was pretty cute though.

DD had fared a lot better, looking less like a slutty priestess cosplay and more like a basic adventurer that starred in those ‘My First Adventure’ videos that never ended well. A thigh length skirt and her original tunic folded into her belt, topped with her paw print collar and a little bronze circlet to hold back her cream-blonde hair.

Actually, now that I got a closer look… Did her skirt have paw prints on it? I shook my head and wandered over placing my foraged wood beside the campfire she was currently stoking.

“Thanks Alex.” she gave me a small smile and grabbed a couple choice bits of wood.

“Don’t mention it.” I took a moment to appreciate the scenery. We didn’t go camping in real life as often as I would’ve liked, and most games didn’t force you to actually camp places. Since we were… not thinking about certain things- I didn’t mind taking the opportunity to sleep out under the virtual stars and cook some campfire food.

The Barrier’s prismatic light played against the very tips of the trees, drawing my gaze up to the crumbling stone edifice that was perched near the edge of a ravine; the reason we’d come here.

Either this was a dungeon, or we’d get 50 bucks for half a day’s trek through the countryside, which would go someway to soothe our aching coin purse. Mennet Purse. Whatever. Actually, wasn’t this game called Conquest And Gold? Why didn’t they use gold as-

“Ahhhh… the great outdoors!” Mom took a swig from her waterskin and said her current catchphrase, pulling up a log to sit by the fire. “Ya know, with everything else they put in, you’d think there’d be more bugs n’ stuff out here!”

DD paused setting up the cooking pot. “Umm… I think that’s because I set up the bug ward that came in the camping set.”

Mom gave a dopey smile and rubbed DD’s ear between two fingers. “Well aren’t you just a smart little puppy!”

She took another swig as DD went bright red.

I narrowed my eyes. “Mom… what’s in that waterskin?”

She very pointedly didn’t look at me. “Nuthin’. Just water.”

“You won’t mind if I have some then.”

“Y-yeah, I would! It’s my water!” She held it to her chest as I reached for it. I tried to snap forward and grab it, but she stood up and used her superior height to hold it well out of reach behind her. “It’s my water Alex! Get your own!”

She was enjoying lording her height over me, but I had more than one trick up my sleeve. “Fine, maybe I will!”

She blew a raspberry at me and went to take a swig, only for the waterskin to be snatched from her hand by Raptor Squadron B-lex using [Shinobi DASH], new blue scarf trailing behind him.

“Hey! No fair!” Mom pouted as he pulled a front flip and stuck competition level landing, taking a bow. I gave a polite clap. “Thank you, thank you! Now, for the moment you’ve been waiting for!”

He took a swig of Mom’s waterskin. “Eck- Ew! This tastes like crap!” He smiled and tossed it to me.

“Ack!” Yep. Tasted like it was brewed in a dirt pit.

I took another swig as Mom pulled out another waterskin. “Where did you find the time to get these?”

She gave me a cheeky smile and sat back down. “When you were umming and ahhing over the map in the tavern. Tavernkeep gave ‘em to me for free when I told him we weren’t staying the night. Said something about wanting to pay us back for ‘services rendered’ yesterday, whatever that means~”

She took another swig as DD conspicuously tried to make herself as small as possible. Adenia wiggled her way out of my hood and rested on my shoulder, sporting her new kerchief around her neck.

We hadn’t managed to find any actual fairy clothes, and all the summon buffs were far outside our modest budget. So Mom had just gotten her something cheap with a cute flowery pattern on it, the fact that it gave a crafting quality bonus was incidental.

“‘Services rendered’, huh? Gimme some of that!” she reached out her arms and I helped her take a swig.

“Mmmm-” She swilled it around in her mouth before swallowing and letting out a tiny burp. “That tastes like garbage.

I want more!”

It was a good evening under the stars.

—xxxxxx—

Riley felt good. She’d spent a couple hours drinking with her son, screwing about and looking at the stars until they’d had to stop when they’d started to spin. It had been too long since she’d had a nice night like this one with Alex, and she got to spend it with two of him! The only way it could be better if there was three of him, but she might not be able to hold herself back if that was the case.

She crawled into the slightly larger tent she was sharing with DD as carefully as her drunk ass could, which having had plenty of practice sneaking into and out of the covers both drunk and sober made her quiet enough that the dog girl didn’t even stir. She’d gone to bed early, after being peer pressured into drinking only half a waterskin, the little lightweight.

Riley wasn’t too upset at her, it was good enough that she’d at least tried out the beer before heading to bed. The poor girl had a bad case of the lonelies (why else would she be playing a VRMMO by herself), but it wasn’t terminal. The first step to getting rid of it was hanging out with other people, and preferably drinking with them, at least a little.

That was how she’d gotten over hers.

Snuggling into her blanket, she was just barely starting to drift off… when her ‘little friend’ made itself known. Maybe it was her good mood, or the day they’d had, or maybe it was because she was sleeping next to a sexy wolf slut; Whatever it was had set her off and now her cock was rock hard and grinding pleasurably against the ground.

She really shouldn’t do this here, she should just get up and go outside and jerk off. Except, that could take absolutely ages, and she was soooo comfy… and DD was right there, with her fat ass and nice smell, wearing her slutty little nighty that Riley hadn’t seen before.

She wiggled slightly closer to DD, huffing the girl’s scent as her hand crept down to grasp her meat. Gently sliding her thumb and forefinger over the head, she shivered and worked her sensitive frenulum. She had to bite a knuckle to hold in a moan as a prodigious amount of pre-cum covered her hand, her tugs making slightly sloppy sounds from the newly introduced sex slime.

It was dangerous, but the guilt wracking her as she jerked off to the girl she was supposed to be mentoring/looking out for made it feel so good. Her breathing came in quick gasps as she increased her speed. DD was right there, asleep, completely oblivious to how sexy she was just laying there like wankbait for any unscrupulous horny mothers who might be nearby.

The sexy little whore should be punished for how much of a tease she was being, with her long silky hair and her bitch in heat smell. Riley knew just the punishment she deserved, thrusting her hips up, hand releasing her cock for a second and carefully gathering a loose bushel of the soon to be jizzrag’s hair.

The effect was immediate, the silky smooth locks feeling like heaven on her goonstick as they were immediately soiled with her copious pre-cum. The smooth sliding of decreased friction served to increase her wanking speed, causing her eyes to roll into the back of her head.

Didn’t this slut know that whores like her could get their precious hair raped, sleeping undefended like this in the forest with horny futas on the prowl-!

Her nostrils flared, dick twitching as the feeling of silken locks became too much, launching her sperm to attack the hair of the unfortunate wankbait who happened to let her guard down around the moral lacking futa goonslut.

When her orgasm finally subsided, the loose bundle of hair she’d been holding was absolutely soaked with cum, along with her hand, and a portion of the floor. That was easily one of the most powerful orgasms she’d had since she’d gotten this cock.

There was a wave of shame that passed over her as the post nut clarity hit, but it was dulled by the alcoholic buzz she still had going. All she had to do was clean up, which would be easy… she just had to lick up… suck up her cum from… from…

Exhaustion took her before she could carry out her plan.

—xxxxxx—

Dallas listened to Riley’s snoring for five minutes before she was sure the woman had fallen asleep. While the woman had been quiet entering the tent, her sensitive wolf ears had woken her up. Which was totally fine, and she was about to fall back to sleep, when she’d heard the unmistakable sound of a cock being jerked behind her.

At first, she thought she was just imagining it. Then Riley had grabbed her hair and started whispering drunkenly to herself, about how rapebait like her shouldn’t let her guard down around big bad futas, that they could get their hair knocked up with millions of dickgirl sperm. Dallas was ashamed to admit that she had cum at least once purely listening to the older woman denigrate her, and then once again when she’d turned her hair into a cumrag.

Now the older woman was asleep, and there was a puddle of absolutely disgusting smelling cum stinking up their tent and soaking into her hair.

Someone had to do something about it.

Dallas tugged aside the lace patterned panties that Adenia had insisted she buy, and carefully pulled her wet, cumrag hair in up to her face and took a deep whiff.

…

Goddess she was so fucked up.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

A fluffy tickling my nose gently pulled me out of my deep slumber. Lifting my head off of my pink pillow, there was a quick spike of panic as I realised I wasn’t in my room. It dissipated as my clearing vision revealed the canvas walls of a tent, and I remembered where I was. Sighing, I dropped back onto my pillow and snuggled in.

It was barely dawn outside, so catching a bit more sleep wasn’t the worst idea. Plus this pillow was very comfortable, and squishy, and gently breathing…

I sat up and looked down at Adenia’s plump pixie body, which wiggled as she yawned. “Aww… Why’d you stop?”

I sighed again. “Sorry Adenia, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Did you sleep okay?” I gave up on going back to sleep and shifted myself into a more comfortable sitting position.

“Mhmmmmm… Slept like I was in the thrall of a Gleasra Codlata…” She squirmed onto her back and looked up at me with a mischievous glint in her big black eyes. “I might have to hide all your pillows so you have to sleep with me~”

She giggled as I rolled my eyes, yawning again and stretching my arms. “Since I’m up I might as well get started on breakfast-”

“Awww, don’t you think you should use me to get rid of your morning wood first~?”

I shook my head. “My Mom is sleeping right across from us and you aren’t quiet- besides, I don’t have morning wood.”

“Well, that can be fixed~” A mischievous smile flashed across her face. But before she could make any moves, there was a rustling of blankets and a shadowed feminine form rose from the pile.

“Oouuuuuugh… man, I didn’t even think I could sleep in this body, but I feel like a million bucks.” B-lex yawned again and stretched out.

“Ooooh~ B-lex! Help me convince Alex to fuck me.” B-lex smiled lazily and tilted his head.

“You know Deni, if Alex doesn’t want to fulfill his manly duties, I could always do them instead~” Mixed feelings raced through me. That was- it wasn’t like I didn’t want to- I mean, we’re the same person! It would be fine! B-lex could- use Adenia while I made breakfast…

Why did it feel like I would be cucking myself?

I felt heat running up my ears as my clit twitched at the idea, and it seemed B-lex felt the same as his ears twitched too. This was getting confusing, and now I did have morning wood. “Sh-shut up- I don’t- I can- well- shit, this is too confusing. Whatever, if you promise to keep it down, I’ll fulfill my manly duties with you, Adenia.”

Adenia grinned at both of us teasingly and jumped up onto my lap. “I have a better idea! You can take the bottom-” She squished her ass onto my crotch “-And you can help me keep quiet!” She gestured at B-lex and then mimed gagging on a cock. This was probably a bad idea, but, could I really be blamed for having a sex fairy proposition me every morning? I was already pulling down my shorts, so maybe this was a question for non-horny Alex.

“Fuck yeah, I’m the luckiest Pocket Pixie on this plane.” Adenia shivered as I grabbed her waist, making sure to hit the pressure points she’d taught me about. Pushing up onto my knees to let B-lex line himself up with her mouth, I sunk my hard clit into the divine tightness of her pussy, making her squeal loudly enough that I froze. B-lex quickly silenced her by thrusting into her mouth and making her airtight so the sounds wouldn’t leak.

This made me bite my lip to suppress a moan, as the feedback of pleasure from two of my clit getting squeezed blended into each other, the heightened sensation taking me by surprise. I got past the initial overstimulation and began slowly working my hips.

We found a rhythm, one of the perks of sex with yourself I guess, and most importantly it made sure we didn’t touch tips. Because that would be gay.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t get much faster than a slow back and forth thrusting, as the tent was rather cramped and I was worried that vigorous movements would collapse it on us or make too much noise. So, even with the extra stimulation, it was taking longer than I’d like to cum. Maybe it was my years of masturbation finally catching up to me, but I was leaning more towards game fuckery making jerking off feel worse for some reason. Probably a Milestone or something.

At least B-lex seemed to be having a good time, if her twitching ears and shivered gasps were anything to go by. I blushed upon realising that I was closer than I’d been to a girl who wasn’t a family member in a long time, even if it was technically myself, a-and not actually a girl! I- sh- B-lex just looked like one! One with really nice cheekbones and very kissable lips! That I definitely didn’t want to-

B-lex suddenly pushed forward, almost unconsciously responding to my unprocessed desires, pressing hi-her lips to mine and launching a tongue invasion on my unprepared mouth. The sensation of kissing myself almost overwhelmed me, but I managed to hold on through the initial emotional onslaught.

There was something maddeningly strange about the whole thing, and it really shouldn’t have felt this good to be making out with myself. But it did and I wanted to keep going. Pulling myself together, I became an active participant in my two tongue tango, and eventually made move to take the lead.

She pushed back of course, but I knew where all her weak points were and currently had more brain power to bring to bear, so I was successful in wrestling control of the pace away from her. Not that I held it for long, as she used her free hands to get the better of me by gripping my ass to pull me in closer and press me further into Adenia’s squishy embrace.

We went back and forth for what felt like minutes, cranking up the heat in some kind of perverse one upmanship as we made out, trying to get the other to cum first. Twisted nipples, bitten lips and pinched asses, both of us barely holding off actually cumming as any attacks against the other gave pleasurable feedback.

((Un))fortunately, our fight came to an end as Adenia spasmed, clamping down hard on us both and causing our thrusting rhythm to go wildly off kilter. One of us, I’m still not sure who, bucked hard and bashed her clitty into the other, which made both of us cum. I’m glad our mouths were occupied at the time, because our shameful moaning would’ve definitely woken someone up.

Once our orgasms ebbed and we got our moans under control, I pulled back from B-lex, a small strand of spit connecting our tongues the main evidence of our selfcestual makeout. B-lex let out a final cute squeak, ears twitching as her clit dribbled a final pathetic spurt into Adenia’s mouth as she pulled out of the overstuffed Fae.

“Holy shit… We are doing this more often, or I’ll riot.” I had to look away from B-lex as she- HE spoke in a breathy, sultry tone. I didn’t fancy getting hard again as I carefully extracted myself from my Summon.

“Seconded… did I ever tell you that Elf cummies taste delicious? The construct even adds it’s own distinct notes to the flavour!” Adenia gently floated up onto my shoulder and did a little chef’s kiss. I grumbled a little as I pulled my Kunoichi battlesuit out of my inventory, but ultimately I agreed with them. Even if it did make me feel like a pervert.

Though, I really should check those gooner Milestones to make sure I didn’t-

I stared at the screens for a good minute as I tried to process what I was reading. On one hand, a possible twenty five percent damage boost was crazy good this early. It might fall off later depending on how big the numbers got or if buffs became multiplicative, but that was fine.

The problem was the jerk off ban. More than a week of extra difficulty jackin’ it for cumming ONCE?! What the fuck! I wasn’t even masturbating! I was having sex with Adenia! Fuck this piece of shit game and its shitty mechanics- Why even let me jerk off if your just gonna punish me for it!? I hadn’t even jerked off that many times! I was one hundred percent going on the forums to complain and leave a bad review.

Hopefully whoever designed this shit would get fired.

—xxxxxx—

The sun was no longer casting auroral shadows through The Barrier by the time we finished collapsing camp, so if I were to guess it was a bit past seven o’clock by the time we were prepped and ready to enter the dungeon.

Eating a campfire breakfast out in nature had improved my mood enough that I was able to pass off my scowling about the Milestones I’d gotten as a light hangover. Adenia was mad about it, but she vowed to find a way to get counted as not masturbation so she could keep getting her morning cum. B-lex told me he’d take a look when he was back in our ‘soulspace’, but for now we just agreed not to jerk off and extend the timer further.

“...on point, so you stay behind me but it’s important you stay in front of B-lex, because if something sneaks up on us, it’ll target him first. And he’s expendable.” “Gee, love you too Mom.” I blinked and refocused on the conversation. Mom was taking DD through our new five person line up, probably unnecessary, but I think Mom wanted her to understand the reasoning.

“O-okay, so, umm… What do I do if I get separated from you?” Mom put a finger on her lip in thought.

“Weeeell, normally I’d say you should stay put and wait for us to find you… Alex, did you get any chalk?” I tossed her a chunk from my inventory as I unfurled my brand new folding ten-foot pole.

She broke the chunk in half and handed one to DD. “If anyone gets separated, make sure you mark which direction you went, and try to avoid fighting if you can. Not that Alex will listen to me, he’ll probably want to pose the dead bodies again.”

I scoffed and pressed the pole against the ground, locking it together with a satisfying click. “Mom, it was one time! I can’t believe you wasted money on a therapist for that.”

“And have you done it again? Exactly. Chalk marks only, no anti-social behaviour or you’ll be back at summer gymnastics for troubled youths before you can say ‘it was a joke’! And I won’t even be sad you’re gone this time, because I have a spare!” B-lex squeaked as she grabbed him up in a hug and squeezed. I shook my head and did a couple test thwacks on the stone to get an idea of the baseline sound while Mom went over the fine art of potion taking to DD.

…

After finding our way through a crumbled part of the exterior wall, we found ourselves outside a solid looking wooden door that led into a side building. Strangely, it was the only way to enter the actual fort, the rest of the interior entryways being totally collapsed or blocked in one way or another.

After checking over the door for traps and making sure it was safe to open, Mom held the pole against the door and hid behind her shield while B-lex stood to one side of it. Mom whistled, the signal for everyone else to step back, and B-lex disengaged the latch holding the door closed before diving away as Mom gave a hard shove.

The large wooden door swung open smoothly, soundlessly tracing its arc around until it thumped against the wall with an echoing thump.

After waiting a couple seconds, B-lex went forward and scoped out the interior, careful to not actually cross the threshold. “Looks like a standard castle barracks, but…”

I tossed him a rock wrapped in fresh grass, and he skipped it inside while looking at the top of the doorway. When nothing happened, B-lex cautiously crept inside. I gave the all clear after a couple of seconds and Mom handed me the ten-foot pole. Getting into formation, we began the slow and exciting process of dungeon crawling.

—xxxxxx—

“Alex, if they were going to put a trap in they’d have put it on the first couple steps; you don’t need to test every single one.” Mom spoke softly behind me, clearly frustrated that she hadn’t had anything to fight for ten whole minutes.

She was right, but there was a gut feeling I couldn’t shake, despite the fact that we’d run into zero traps so far. It was the little things, like the lack of dust and rubble in certain places, combined with strategic blockages to funnel us down into the basement that had my alarm bells ringing. Might’ve been that Milestone I got though…

“I know; look, we’re almost at the bottom, I’ll speed up when we’re on flat ground. Once I find a trap I can go faster.” Traps in a single dungeon typically had similarities that you could pick out, so once I knew what I was looking for I could increase the pace. I did speed up a little anyway, since I didn’t want her to get bored and break ranks; Understandably Mom liked the fighting part of dungeon crawling way more than the crawling part.

About a minute later I was leaning out into the dim landing room, careful not to actually step off the stairs. It was a corridor wide enough for all of us to stand with our arms spread wide with room to spare, and long enough that the end was shrouded in darkness. There were recessed pillars along the wall that might make good hiding spots, but it also made it impossible to tell if there were other entrances along the wall.

“Yeah, this is one hundred percent a trap. The door will probably get barred once we get a short way inside… I think I can see the trigger point? But other than that, I’m not sure what it’ll do. Your call.” I glanced at Mom for confirmation on how to proceed. If I was the one leading, I’d say we should skip the trap and go around, but this might lead to the fight she was itching for.

“I say we trigger it. Have a look for the spawn points and try to stay out of sight, DD, Adenia, stay by B-lex and try to focus on chunking the healthier ones with your Spells.” I folded away the pole, and after making sure everyone was ready, Mom gave me the signal.

I slipped into stealth and immediately began making tracks along the right wall. The rest of the party made their way inside and toward the centre of the room, and when they passed some unseen threshold the room suddenly lit up as hidden light crystals turned on. There was a thump as something slid into place to block the exit.

Sprinting towards the closest alcove, I could now see the cell doors inset into them along the corridor, the steel hinges squealing loudly as they tried to free themselves from the cold stone. I baseball slid and jammed a disposable piton into where I thought the locking mechanism met the wall, stopping the cage from opening and hopefully at least delaying whatever was inside.

I managed to hit two more doors before the discordant choir of screeches was too loud and too close to ignore, and turned back towards my party. They’d pulled back to the right corner, where Mom cast [Wall of the Faithful] on the left and Adenia cast [Becky Hillock] on the right, making a wedge that would funnel enemies into Mom.

Running full tilt, I felt pretty cool as I slid through Mom’s legs and popped up in front of DD, B-lex and Adenia. Admiring the resilience my fishnets had, I leaned against our makeshift battlement. “Hey ladies, you come here often?” I felt pretty good as DD smiled and blushed, even Adenia rolling her eyes and B-lex doing an over exaggerated swoon couldn’t ruin it.

“Alex, stop flirting with yourself and form up!” I turned to see Mom absolutely annihilating something with her shield, turning whatever it was into a blue paste in front of our fort. “DD, examine one of them and send it to the rest of us, just like I taught you earlier okay?!”

I pulled up on both sides of Mom as the wave crashed against our defenses. Or, more broke against them, as the pile of ugly little misshapen parodies of the hominid form weren’t strong enough to assail the Spells to any meaningful degree, their malformed limbs and overgrown claws doing little damage against the magical constructs. I almost felt a little bad for the freakish little things, their disturbingly human eyes were uneven and bulbous, but it gave them a sort of ugly-cute charm.

“Ummm-! Okay! Got it!” DD flicked a popup onto my HUD, showing a level of proficiency with the HUD that outpaced mine. She’d even somehow gotten the HUD to put a pawprint on the corner, denoting it was from her.

In the time it took me to read the popup, the first row of Rejects were turned into paste with a well timed [Limited Bladeworks] from Mom, but there were still hundreds more to kill and I prepared for my grim work by activating my buffs and checking the Mana drain. It probably wasn’t necessary to break out [Kunoichi Killshot] on such weak enemies, but I wanted to get used to the information overflow a horde like this provided.

Seeing that it wasn’t too bad for mana efficiency, I pulled my daggers and started lashing out at anything that got into close range with Mom. The Rejects almost all died instantaneously, whether to Mom’s blade or mine, even the odd [Holy Wallop] from DD burst the buggers like a bad boil.

“Maybe next time, little guy.” I said as I spiked a particularly cute one with blue skin through its crazed bulbous eye, before booting its corpse back into the horde. Even though every other hit sent a Reject dissolving into its component parts as its structural integrity failed, there was still a decent-ish pile forming in front of our little fort, and a few minutes more of killing made it big enough that the Rejects had a harder time getting at us. It gave us enough breathing room to take a second to plan.

“These don’t seem to be running out anytime soon! What’re your bars looking like; What’s the plan?!” I had to yell over the screeching Rejects, and checking my own resources as I killed another Reject showed them at about two thirds. I could keep going for a while yet, but I didn’t have much of a bead on Mom’s sustainability yet.

“I’m okay! But I think you’re right- these things aren’t slowing down! You said you got an AoE DoT, right?! Do you want to try it out?!” She splattered a particularly fast Reject with her shield, showering us in purple viscera and I think I heard DD gag behind me. “Sorry DD!”

I ran it over in my head. [Shinobi Dash] wasn’t exactly cheap when I had [Kage Mantle] on, and doing [Shadow Barrage] too many times might tap me out, or force me to break out our meagre Mana potion reserve. If I was going to go for it, we couldn’t just sit here. “If I’m going to use it, we should move! If they really are infinite it’ll just be a waste of Mana!”

Mom thought it over for a second before nodding and yelling something back at DD. Tapping me on the shoulder, she gave me the signal and B-lex took over the killing field. I smiled as I fell back past DD, Adenia climbing into my hood; and got as much of a running start as I could. Bursting forward, I leap up onto Mom’s shield, and she launched me up, over the Reject pile, a little too far actually as I had to hastily activate [Shinobi DASH] so I didn’t slam into the ceiling.

I shot forward, clawing shadows trailing behind me as I slammed feet first into an unfortunate Reject and its friend as I finished my descent into the horde. Pressing my hands together, I finished the activation, a cloud of shadow spilling out from around me. The Rejects immediately surrounding me all collapsed before they knew what was happening, the ones further out dying by the dozen as the spreading damage over time ticks either outright killed them or did enough damage that the next one killed them.

Behind me, the pile of corpses collapsed as Mom bashed through it, holding DD over one shoulder. She was actually swinging her staff around and got a good thwack on a couple of Rejects on her way past. B-lex followed closely behind, breaking off and joining up with me to start cutting a path towards the end of the corridor, using the emissions from [Kage Mantle] to keep the path clear for Mom.

Adenia cast both [Seek and Hide] and [Fae Trickery] to bait the Rejects into the [Shadow Barrage] I’d already set, making it slightly easier for us to move against the tide of flesh. It was slow going at first, but once we made it past the bulk press who knew we were there and into the latecomers who had less direction we increased speed until we were almost sprinting down the corridor.

Spying the exit, we scrambled inside, Mom quickly setting DD down before turning and slamming the wooden door closed. I slid the metal bar down, sealing off the rabid reject horde and slumped my back against the door to catch my breath. Mom leaned over me, breathing slightly less heavily, and smiled at me. “Hey pretty lady, you come here often?”

If you’re ever high on adrenaline after running full tilt from a horde of trash monsters, panting and sweaty, and your seven foot tall amazonian goddess of a mother leans over, messy hair framing her gorgeous face and plump lips, and hits on you, even as a joke, I fucking dare you not to get hard. Like, could I even be blamed at this point? You get it right? It’s like putting a bowl of salt water in front of a dehydrated man!

She winked at me, snapping me out of my gormless stare and pushed off the door, spinning around and clapping DD on the shoulder. “Good job in there, DD! You kept your buffs up on me the whole time! Probably spent more Mana than necessary, but you did good for your first horde fight!”

I tuned her out as she went into the basics of Mana management, giving myself a couple more seconds to get my head in order before giving myself a hand to stand up. “Are you all good for Mana Adenia?”

My Pixie climbed up onto my head and laid down. “I’m alright, I didn’t get to do much since those things were immune to psychic damage. If all the monsters in this place are similar, I might be on full time support duty.” She huffed and frowned. “Sorry, it was a bit silly of me to not get a different damage type.”

We slipped past Mom and DD to look around the rest of the ‘room’ we were in, though it was more of a choke point between areas, with us standing at the wide end of a funnel that led towards another wooden door. “Eh, you couldn’t have known. This early, there’s nothing wrong with having a single damage type, as long as your party members can pick up the slack. We could stand to get you an AoE Spell though.”

B-lex did a visual sweep of the walls and roof, while I pulled out the ten-foot pole and started raking it across the cobbled floor, listening for changes in tone as it hit the stones. Finding nothing, I knelt down in front of the solid iron door to check for traps.

Only to jump back, as before I could even touch it, the door noiselessly swung open.

B-lex snapped our crystal light up, searching for threats in the room ahead, while Adenia floated behind me and turned up her light. The room was pitch black, our lights barely penetrating as B-lex waved his back and forth, finding nothing in the extra couple metres of his light cast. Letting my heartrate cool, I felt Mom come up behind me. “What happened?”

“Door opened by itself.” I continued to scan for threats in the meagre spotlight. Goddess, I wish we had a better torch, the tiny coverage was making me sure that something was going to pop out of the dark any sec-

B-lex traced the light back across the centre of the room, something I was sure he’d done before, except this time there was a chest just sitting there, just inside the range of Adenia’s pool of light. He held the light on it while I pulled my daggers and held up my hand to Mom. “That’s either a trap or a Mimic, probably both.”

Mom frowned. “Alex, Mimics are a mid-game tech, there’s no way the designers would blow their loads this early. You can’t catch someone out if they’re always on edge because the first chest they run into is a Mimic or has a trap in it.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s probably just a reward for clearing the previous room.”

I gave her a pleading look. “Can you please trust me on this? That chest wasn’t there on the first sweep- it either moved, or- I dunno. It just feels off.” I wasn’t being very convincing, even to my own ears.

She sighed and shook her head. “Look at what that evil woman’s done to you- I should’ve vetted those dungeons she put you through. It’s messed up your perspective!” She grabbed me by the scruff of my jacket and picked me up. “C’mon DD! If this is a trap, we should all be together! You too B-lex, don’t think you can get away.”

Stepping across the threshold, Mom pulled me into the room with the rest of our party following closely on her tall heels. “Now, trap detective! Detect!” She held me out and shook lightly. Sighing, I grabbed the ten-footer and tested the ground in a straight line up to the chest. Mom was probably right, and I was just being paranoid. The last room wasn't a trap per se, more of an encounter, and the only other trap I'd seen was the one in-

Hold on. I frowned, and tapped the floor about halfway to the chest again.

“C’moooon, Alex! You already did that bit of floor! Is this thing broken?” Mom tapped me on the head like I was a broken remote.

“Just- hold on, I think that bit of floor sounds different.” I put my ear to the pole and listened to the vibrations that came from the floor. “Yeah, I think there’s a hollow under that bit. Probably a pitfall trap-”

“Oh, c’mon now! Why’d you have to go and spoil the surprise! I had a whole entrance ready and everything!” An unfamiliar voice heckled us from behind, causing Mom to spin around, holding me close like a shield.

DD yelped and jumped away from the small floating figure that had appeared beside her, grabbing Adenia and running behind Mom as B-lex covered her with his daggers. The hazy figure smiled, teeth reflecting the light despite the rest of him being impossibly cast in shadow, ignoring the lights cast from both Adenia and the light crystal beaming directly at it.

“Tut tut tut, you girls are no fun! First, you handle all the Rejects with ease, and now you won’t even grab your reward for a fight well fought! Champions these days, ungrateful is what I say!” Mom let me go, pulling out her actual shield and putting herself in front of me.

“Really, you try set up a whole thing for them and they just ignore it! Why do I even bother? You obviously don’t deserve a grand reveal.” It sighed, mouth turning into a frown as the shadows cloaking it wisped away, revealing an impish figure, maybe three feet in height, though it was floating high enough to be eye level with DD. Wearing blue and white striped Harem pants, with curl-toed boots, a tiny vest that left most of his purple chest bare, and a large turban on top of his head, just in case you didn’t pick up the Arabian Nights aesthetic, that kept the top half of his face in shadow.

He puffed out his chest. “Behold! You are in the presence of-” The throwing dagger went right into his chest, only for it to bounce out like he was made of rubber. The glowing pools that were his eyes narrowed, and he gave me a withering look. “That was really rude, interrupting an introduction like that! Honestly, your al’aslaf would be ashamed.”

I shrugged.

He sighed and adjusted his jacket. “I think you need an attitude adjustment. Luckily-” His smile grew very wide, pulling attention to his shark-like teeth.

“-that can be arranged.”

Chapter Text

Before I could even react, a purple beam lashed out from the genie’s finger and hit me square in the chest. I dove to the side, pulling my daggers out and-

NGGHHHHH!

Falling onto my side, my back arched as unexpected pleasure bolted up my spine. I writhed on the ground as my muscles involuntarily seized and spasmed, my clit straining against my shorts as I almost came.

“Hahaha! Oh my, I didn’t think that would hit you that hard!” The Genie-Imp doubled over laughing as I got myself back under control. I panted as I looked back at my party, Mom was holding up B-lex whose eyes had rolled up into his head after he was slightly more successful in pulling out his own daggers, and Adenia and DD were preparing Spellcasts.

The floating fucker wiped a non-existent tear from his eye and sneered down at me. “I bet playing with your little daggers feels really good now, huh?” I very carefully flipped him off. “Oooh, scary. Not! You get what you deserve for ruining the introduction of- Ow! Qalil al’adab!”

The smirk wiped off his face, he rounded on Adenia and pointed, firing three purple blasts at her. The Fae yelped, falling to the ground DD finished her cast. I couldn’t actually tell what it did, but the Genie got angry and started swearing in his weird language again before taking aim at DD. She tried to dive out of the way of the beam, but did it far too early, landed awkwardly and was simply blasted a couple times while she lay groaning.

Not one to rest on my laurels, I used my elbows to push myself to my feet and shook off the remaining haze of pleasure; just in time to watch Mom use B-lex as a human shield to block a beam intended for her. She tossed him down and pulled out her shield while she closed the distance, trading a beam for a shield bash to dent in the Imp’s face and drag him to the ground. Flicking a dagger up off the ground with my foot and catching it with my teeth, I ran forward to help Mom.

“Ack! Ow! Oof!” She stomped the fucker into the rock with her heels, though I wasn’t sure how much damage it was doing, it was preventing him from using the purple beam. I gave him a couple stomps myself, mostly to make myself feel better since I didn’t have seven inch spikes on my feet. I did flip on [Kunoichi Killshot] to see if he had any weak points, but I didn’t spot any on him.

“Ah! Stop-! Stop-! Stomping-! On-! ME!” Mom paused for just long enough that one might think she was going to stop- before stomping again.

“GET OFF!”

A wave of purple dust burst out from the purple punching bag, knocking Mom over and pushing me back onto my ass. I made an undignified sound when I steadied myself, quickly pulling my hands back to my chest and rolling to the side as the Genie floated up off the ground.

Nursing his ribs, he scowled at Mom and blasted her with a purple beam as she tried to get up off her back. He spoke some more in his weird language as I made myself as small as possible and crawled into what I thought was his blind spot, and eventually his tirade went on long enough that my language Milestone picked up the language.

”...aps have in store for you! If I had my way, you’d be chopped up for parts, so says The Great Kazzam, Who is Born of the Lineage of the Waking Sun, Wooer of Women and Men Alike, He Who Walks Atop the Golden Sands as Though His Feet Do Not Touch the Ground, Granter of Wishes (Within Limits) to Those Who Are Generous!” He basically spat the last words at Mom, and zapped her again.

“You are not worthy of any hospitality, and now that you know my name, I say, good day!” He actually spit on the ground this time, and swirling sands appeared around him as he prepared to teleport or something. I should have been content to let the little freak go, my party was in shambles and I was in no real state to fight what was obviously the dungeon boss solo.

But…

His back lit up with weak points as his Spell progressed, and I made the probably bad decision to spit my dagger out of my aching teeth into my hand. The spike of dopamin almost broke my concentration, but if there was one thing I learned from my Grandmother, it was how to be a spiteful little bitch. Every single bump and ridge along the handle felt like it ran across my hand in slow motion, and I’m not too proud to admit it made me cum hard enough that I made an involuntary girlish squeal that I pray no-one heard.

But it was worth it to see the look on the purple fuck’s face as it caught him right between the shoulder blades, his teleport finishing and whisking him away before he could retaliate. I slumped down, trying not to let my hands touch anything as I rode out the wave of arousal I still felt. Hopefully the others hadn’t gotten hit with something so debilitating.

Oh fuck off.

—xxxxxx—

I wonder, if I killed myself, would that get rid of the Edge stacks? Probably would just count as jerking off, to this fucking piece of Demis-damned shit game. I wanted to kill myself right now, it would be less embarrassing than what I was doing, but if I tried, I’d cum when my hands gripped the dagger. And that would be far more embarrassing.

“Alright, now, follow the beat with me! One and two, and one and two, and one and two- C’mon Alex! You can’t hold onto the wall forever!” Mom did a pirouette on her heels to show off. Sighing shakily, I quickly took a couple steps away from the wall, following the beat Mom had set.

Clack clack clack! “Yay! Very sexy Alex! Now, we just need to do a loop around the room without falling and you should get the Milestone that I got!” I cringed internally, tried to ignore how good Mom calling me sexy felt and focused on walking on the slightly uneven stone floor in five inch heels.

As much as I wish it wasn’t, the idea Mom had come up with was too good for me to ignore or say no to. Since I couldn’t use my hands to fight, I had to rely on the couple kicks my Martial Arts Skill had unless I wanted to cum every time I grabbed my weapons. The problem was, my low Power meant I did basically nothing in terms of damage, as the small amount of Shadowboxing I’d done with B-lex made clear.

So, Mom had come up with the fantastic idea of me putting on the heels from Lewfring Crypt, which she’d gotten Identified in town.

Which would have been fine, if they weren’t five-inch tall stiletto heels that I didn’t know how to walk in. Unfortunately, she had a solution for that too, in the form of a Milestone I could get by simply walking around in them with some proficiency.

And Mom relished the chance to use her many years of experience to teach me, and tell me anecdotes. “You know, when I got pregnant with you Alex, I spent half a year doing waitressing at a casino bar since your great-grandad kicked me out of the house. Let me tell you, I learnt real quick how to wear stilettos like that, having to walk around with a tray getting my belly rubbed for good luck, while wearing a gasmask! Haah…” Mom sighed wistfully as though remembering good times, and I tried to speed up before she went into another embarrassing story I didn’t want to learn.

Thankfully, it was a lot easier than I’d expected to walk in the things, with my hypermobility making it not uncomfortable to wear them, and walking was mostly practicing balance. The hardest part was not focusing on Mom’s ass as she did an exaggerated walk in front of me to demonstrate how I should be moving my legs. The sway of her hips was bad enough when she wasn’t trying to exaggerate for effect, and I was aroused enough without watching her walk like a stripper on her way to the pole.

I was relieved when the Milestone popped and gave me something else to focus on.

Annoyingly, there was more blurred out text, but I forced myself to ignore it. Hopefully it was just a small price I’d pay for this dungeon, and eventually I’d get it removed with those other Milestones if- WHEN- when we found a way to remove them. “I got the Milestone.”

Mom walked backwards, showing her mastery of movement in heels, and gave me a one armed hug. “Oh, you’re a natural honey! And they make you look really good- ooo, I hope another pair drops! Then we’ll match when we hit the town!” My ears wiggled and I tried to shrink away from her in embarrassment. Goddess forbid, there was no way in the hells I was wearing these around town.

“Oh, don’t be like that Alex~ you’re playing a female character, you should look good~” She leaned in and whispered into my ear, while her hand wandered down to my ass.

“Ah! Mom! Stop!” It was her turn to blush as she quickly tamed her wandering hand and pulled away from me.

“Crap. Sorry sweetie! Darn Genie curses.” Whatever I thought about my own curse, everyone else either had it just as bad or worse. We weren’t able to exactly pinpoint what the curses were, outside of the most obvious effects like Mom trying to molest me whenever she got too close. Adenia’s were the easiest to tell, she’d lost the ability to fly and gotten her sexual holes sealed up which included her mouth, which might have been fine if everyone hadn’t been collateraled by the [Get Off] Spell.

“You g-guys look so f-fucking hawt, I-Fuck- Hnnngh-!” Mom sighed at DD swearing, but kept her mouth shut. The wolf girl asking to be punished while calling her Mommy the first time had taught her that lesson right quick. DD started literally biting on her fist as she tried to stop her mouth from making the most vulgar and crass observations possible, which usually ended with her propositioning us to rape her.

“I-I- hope you molest me like that next!” Her mouth won the battle against her fist and she curled into an embarrassed ball. I did feel a little bad for her, but the juxtaposition of her cute appearance, stuttering, and attempts to prevent herself from spewing horny dialogue from a bad fanfic was probably the whole point. With all of our arousal slowly building, how long would it be before one of us took her up on her offers, regardless if they were magically induced or not.

And that was only the effects we knew about.

“We should get moving, the dungeon won’t wait around forever.” B-lex broke me from my doomer thoughts, walking over from where he’d been practicing kicks in his own pair of stilettos, a copy that had ‘appeared’ in his inventory when mom had given me them.

“Aww, are you sure you don’t want to train some more? You can’t run in them yet can you?” Mom pouted at me. “I was having fun, it’s been ages since I’ve been able to teach you anything.”

“I can use [Shinobi DASH] and [Air Step] to get around quickly if I need to, and if we have to retreat, I’ll just grit my teeth and take them off. I agree with myself, we really should get a move on.” I’m sure Mom had made the same calculations I had, but she probably thought it wasn’t that bad and that she could hold back. I swallowed heavily as I recalled the wolf trap. I wouldn’t let it come to that again.

She pouted, but didn’t put up a fight as I let Adenia climb up into my hood. The Fae spoke directly into my head once she got settled. “I know the smell of his Magicks now, so if he tries something I might be able to give you a warning.”

“Lil’ bastard won’t get the drop on us again; I’ll stay on alert.” B-lex spoke softly to me, more for Adenia’s sake. It would be hard on anyone to remain high strung for an extended period, but one of the upsides of being a semi-gestalt consciousness was that we could share the load.

The MENTAL LOAD- fuckin stupid horny thoughts.

—xxxxxx—

Mom sized up the wooden door she’d just unbarricaded, studying the best place to kick it for the most effect. I wasn’t huge on breaking down random locked doors in a dungeon, but I couldn’t operate my lockpicks with my elbows, and Mom wanted to ‘do all the side content’, ticking clock be damned.

Thankfully the enemies we’d run into had been simple enough to take down, just more groups of Rejects that ran straight into us, though the packs were led by the slightly bigger and more ‘human’ looking Twisted Rejections had some meager tactics. Didn’t stop them from getting turned into meat grinds, but the variation was fun; though I was hoping the enemies would get a bit stronger as we got further in, it wasn't much of a challenge stomping out the Rejects.

*BOOF*

I jumped slightly as Mom sent a high powered kick into the door, causing the door to shake and dust to fall from the wall. I cringed as the shelves and workbenches rattled. The dungeon theme was in the middle of progressing from ‘underground gaol’ into ‘mad science lab’, the cells, guard stations and armouries beginning to be repurposed into torture rooms and specimen containment.

Aforementioned specimen containment being what Mom was trying to break into, if the door barricade was any indication. “I’m gonna head this off at the pass and say I told you so now.”

Mom kicked the door again, with a little less force this time so the room didn’t shake. “Oh, don’t be a spoilsport Alex, this’ll be funner than fighting trash mobs, and we need to get used to our limiters in a proper fight!” She booted the door again.

I rolled my eyes at my battle junkie Mother and checked on DD, who was nervously eyeing the stretcher rack that had been barricading the door mom was currently kicking. She’d been mostly silent since getting cursed, only occasionally interjecting into conversation when she simply couldn’t hold in whatever sexual innuendo or horny babbling the curse forced her to spout. I’m not sure if it was the arousal talking, but I found the way she went red and stuttered out the most heinous fantasies kind of cute.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I knew I was baiting her, but I couldn’t resist.

“I-I was hoping w-whatever in there has a-a h-huge raging e-erection, so big w-we would have to t-team up to make it cum with our mouths by licking its disgusting smegma covered cock. A-and then it can r-rape our cumdrunk b-bodies and turn u-us into full time c-c-cockslaves!” She looked me dead in the eye through her whole spiel, blushing more and more as the curse had its way with her mouth.

There was a beat where we just stared at each other. Her deep blue eyes sparkled with a tired embarrassment, each freckle on her cheeks standing out amongst the red flush, plush red lips pursed slightly, the platinum white hair framing her face bringing the whole image together.

Man, she's really pretty.

“Alright, form up kiddos. It’s starting to give, two or three more hits should do it.” The spell broke and we quickly turned away from each other. Mom waved us over and I hurriedly set up on the right side of the door, while B-lex came over from where he was watching the entrance and set up on the left. I settled my thoughts and nodded at Mom.

“Alright, stay sharp.” She raised her leg up to her chest and booted the door. Unfortunately, her aim was slightly too good, and her heel spike smashed straight through the weakened lock and caught on the mechanism, causing her to hop forward into the room with the door as it swung open. “Crap!- Alex help!”

I immediately locked in, launching a flying kick to intercept the blurred form rushing towards Mom from the darkness. We collided in the air, less gracefully than I would have liked though my kick did connect with a nice thunk. The monster fell to the ground as I rolled backwards onto my feet and fired off an Examine.

The mess of pale limbs and feathers screeched at me, it’s eerily human eyes sitting atop a beak with lips, in a weird amalgam of human and bird features. Dull feathers fell from its head as it scrabbled against the cold stone to right itself, red blood swelling where my heel had connected.

Mom freed her foot from the door and got into a battle stance as the Project finally found its feet, their disturbing retrograde nature at odds with the human shaped feet it sported. It screeched again, running forward in a seemingly hate-filled rage like all the other trash mobs in the dungeon. Mom prepared to catch the advance on her shield and retaliate.

The monster looked like it would jump straight into the waiting trap, only to dive to the floor in a burst of speed, sliding through Mom’s legs and raking her thigh as she spun around. It was an unexpected level of speed for such an early dungeon, but it looked like it needed multiple hits to deal damage, its blunted claws leaving only shallow cuts. Mom for her part did try to react, but she only had so much Speed to work with, and didn’t turn fast enough to stop the Project from launching itself at her exposed back.

B-lex managed to intercede, clipping the monster with a heel as it altered trajectory in mid air to avoid his roundhouse, sailing back past Mom and me into the darkness. “Adenia! Light!” The Faery cast her light orb onto the ceiling, bathing the cell in cold blue light and revealing the piles of broken and destroyed furniture, but no monster.

“Eyes open!” Mom took a couple careful steps into the cell, scanning the shadows. B-lex followed to back her up while I hung back to protect DD as we followed a second behind. Whether it was instinct or force of habit, I don’t know, but my quick glance upward as I entered saved DD’s life.

The Project was clinging to the wall above the door, waiting for softer targets. As soon as our eyes met, it launched itself down at us as I shoved DD back, sending her sprawling back into the other room. There was no time to dodge as the monster landed right on top of me, dragging us both to the ground.

It was a whirlwind of clawing and pecking as I used my elbows to fend off what little I could as my health drained precipitously. I tried to batter it with my legs, but the awkward angle made my attacks worthless. I was barely saved by DD casting [Cleansing Cure], giving me the precious extra second of life needed for Mom to turn around and send the Project flying with her shield.

The cuts, bites and bleeding sealed slowly as DD cast another [Cleansing Cure] on me, but I was still reeling from the pain too much to be of any assistance to the team. “DD, I need some buffs!”

“O-On it!” DD cast some kind of buff on Mom to increase her Speed while decreasing the Project’s Speed, but I couldn’t remember what it was called and frankly I didn’t give that much of a shit at the moment. I just focused on breathing through the pain, taking a second to recover while Mom and B-lex distracted the monster.

When I sat up, they had it pinned against one of the walls, but were unable to make any progress in attacking it lest it slip past them. Getting unsteadily to my feet, and cursing the fucking Genie once again, I turned to a frazzled looking DD. “Do you have another buff you could hit me with?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think I could take two at the same time.”

I’d just have to pray that my base sneak attack damage was enough. Skulking towards Mom while keeping her between myself and the Project, I convened with B-lex mentally to make sure we were both in on the plan. I’d probably only get one shot like this, so I had to make it count.

“Mom, flush it to the left, I’m right behind you!” Mom nodded and pushed in, forcing the monster towards the wall while B-lex cut off the right side, meaning it could either go through him or go left around Mom. Maybe it sensed something was off, or maybe it thought it could take me again, but instead of going for the easier open path around Mom to the left, it pounced at B-lex in a similar manner to before, though this time it seemed intent on barreling through him.

It was unexpected, but I wasn’t caught off guard again. B-lex snapped his leg up, driving the spike of his heel into the monster’s chin and falling backwards deliberately, pulling the Starved Project down with him as it screeched and clawed at his legs. I cast [Shinobi DASH], which thankfully didn’t require any hand movements, shooting forward into a dropkick that the monster didn’t see coming.

My heels connected with its shoulder, driving the spikes directly into the softer flesh of the weak point that [Kunoichi Killshot] pointed out. I landed a little awkwardly on top of myself, shoving the Project off as it howled in pain and writhed on the ground. Mom followed up, thankfully picking up on the plan like I knew she would, pinning the monster beneath her shield and using her weight to stay on top of it. B-lex gave me a push to help me do a kip up, and I immediately went for the finisher, using my heels to curb stomp the Starved Project into the stone until it stopped moving.

Then I gave it one extra kick for good measure. It felt good in a way I didn’t really want to think about right now, so I just chalked it up to adrenaline and tamped my emotions down into a box. You know, the normal thing to do.

“Good job Hun, nice spotting. Maybe your grandmother did do something right, for once.” Mom finally released the corpse from her press and wiped off some of the blue blood that had gotten on her face. “I’m gonna need to up my Speed if I want to stop fast critters like that though… Hopefully the reward chest gives me something.”

“I hope it gives us something to get rid of these damned Genie Curses, I’d like to be able to use my hands again.” B-lex complained to no-one.

“I hope so too, then you could use your hands on me!” DD exclaimed before her hands could cover her mouth. We decided to take a minute to cool off from the fight before searching for our reward, mostly so DD could heal Mom, B-lex, and me.

“Thank you for saving me, Alex.” DD whispered to me as she finished casting [Cleansing Cure], smiling sweetly. “If you let me, I’ll eat your ass so deep you’ll spend the rest of the day walking funny.” She blushed cutely again and looked down bashfully.

I chose to ignore the second part. “No problem DD. Your healing saved me too.”

Her tail was going a mile a minute, and damn if it wasn’t incredibly cute.

—xxxxxx—

Chapter Text

“Okay, now, feel along the back seam for wires or intentional divots. If you don’t find anything, try feeling around the hinges for anything loose. Don’t be worried about triggering anything, you probably can’t put enough tension on anything to cause it to activate.” Adenia nodded and her ears twitched as she ran her hands along the back of the scratched solid steel chest.

“Nothin’ doin’ boss, no wires or anything.” I nodded.

“Alright, lastly, run this around the lip of the chest while Mom holds it slightly open, and if you catch on anything, run.” I very carefully pulled out a metal file from my inventory and passed it to her.

“Finally! Can I like, open it now?” Mom rolled her eyes at me from a safe distance away, since she couldn’t keep her hands to herself when I was bent over wiggling my slut ass in her face. I poked my tongue out at her as I retreated to the other side of the room, crouching down next to DD behind a pile of destroyed furniture.

“Do it slowly and let Adenia check for triggers under the lip! And I still can’t check for magic-based traps, so be prepared to dive!” Mom shook her head, sending her barely tamed hair shaking like a lion’s mane.

She did that annoying thing where she bent over at the waist and displayed her massive ass to the room. Even covered by her surcoat, her damned cake looked downright pornographic, jiggling with the slight movements of her legs as she readjusted- I shut my eyes and pulled down behind the pile. Now was not the time to be gooning over Mom’s ass- stop it-

I took a deep breath and started counting down from ten.

“Holy shit, your Mommy is so fucking hot. I wanna eat her ass sooo bad!” I got to seven, before DD ran her mouth and whispered what we were both thinking. NOT about the ass eating bit- I wasn’t- fuckin’- whatever.

I spared the cringe ball DD had curled into a glance before focussing back on the other side of the room. Mom was now squatting in front of the chest, bobbing her head as she presumably listened to Adenia talk, but from a certain perspective it really looked like that one video of her- No! Bad Alex!

Mom finally flipped up the chest lid all the way and reached inside. “Ooo, Pretty!”

B-lex prodded DD in the side and I offered her an elbow to help her stand, which she took and we strutted over to where Mom was marvelling over her new piece of loot. She looked giddy at the piece of long white fabric she was holding, grinning at us as we approached. “Looky! My first piece of loot! And it’s, like, super sexy too; I knew this game got me.”

I frowned at her. “You got a shield in the last dungeon-”

“Oh yeah- well, um, that like, didn’t count, it was only a green, this is a purple!” I swear this woman. “And this is way cuter than a shield, I’ve just gotta-”

“STOP! Do NOT put that on!” I had to hold back from screaming at her as she started untying her surcoat, completely oblivious to the strip show she’d be giving us. Or maybe she just didn’t care- whatever, she shouldn’t be throwing red meat to the lions right now!

“Aleeeeex! Don’t be like th-”

“Woman we are CURSED by a GENIE! You are not going to put that on before I Identify it, because there is a high possibility that it is CURSED by a GENIE! Even then, the scroll might not show if it’s cursed!” If I wasn’t her son, I would’ve sworn she was six years old the way she pouted at me.

“But-”

“No buts! You can wait the five seconds it takes me to identify it.” I glared at her as I carefully withdrew a consumable Identify Spell Scroll from my inventory.

“DD, use this please.” I held the scroll out to her, not really trusting myself to unravel it with how good the papery texture felt between just two of my fingers. DD nodded, grabbing the scroll a little too quickly from between my fingers, forcing me to grind my teeth so I didn’t make an embarrassing sound.

She unfurled the Spell without saying anything, activating the Spell and causing the paper to burn away, lightly searing an afterimage of complicated Magical equations onto the fabric of reality before wicking away like so much light. DD’s eyes glazed over as she looked at her HUD, before flicking her hand at me and Mom in an unpracticed but smooth motion.