Chapter Text
Fri Sept 2, 7:43 am
Groupchat: The Tirnanog kiddos
Description: We're all stuck with each other since kindergarten and it SUCKS
Members: 9
Seliph
Larcei
Scáthach
Lana
Julia
Lester
Diarmuid
Iuchar
Iucharba
Diarmuid: Scaaaaaaaa Larceeeiiiiiiii
Diarmuid: We're in the same class :)))))
Scáthach: Woooooooooo
Larcei: HEY
Larcei: WE SAID WED WAIT UNTIL EVERYONES HERE
Lana: Sorry we couldn't wait :')
Lana: Seliph Iucharba we're all together :)
Iucharba: Oh neat
Seliph: Yay!
Lester: What abt me and Julia?
Iuchar: And don't forget me!
Lester: I didnt
Lester: Ignoring you was a deliberate choice
Seliph: Only took 3min for the Iuchar bullying to start
Scáthach: Must be a new record
Lana: Lester and Iuchar are together
Lana: Julia's not with any of us :((((( they dared leave my cute little gf alone
Seliph: Noooooooo my poor little cousin :(((((
Julia: Dont worry I'll have Sara and Leif ^^
Larcei: Still a crime ur seperated from us
Scáthach: Agreed :(
Lester: WAIT IM STUCK W IUCHAR?????
Lester: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
Iucharba: Yeah that's rough
Larcei: Good luck friend
Diarmuid: You ll need it
Iuchar: It is so nice to feel appreciated and loved you know
Scáthach: Anytime bro
Seliph: Lana whos our homeroom teacher
Lana: Mr Forseti
Lana: And Fee in our class so its gonna be fun
Iucharba: Is this even legal?
Diarmuid: Who cares its fun to watch them fight during class
Diarmuid: We have Mr Balmung btw
Scáthach : WHAT NO
Scáthach : WHY
Scáthach : WHY MY COUSIN OF ALL THE TEACHERS IN THIS DAMN SCHOOL
Larcei: OMG THIS IS GONNA BE A NIGHTMARE
Larcei: HES GONNA BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS
Lester: Who do we have?
Diarmuid: Mrs Yewfelle
Diarmuid: Ur aunt
Diarmuid: Not ur mom
Iucharba: Why do yall have family members as teachers
Seliph: Because life hates us
Julia: Seliph what are you talking about your uncle always favored you last year
Seliph: Exactly
Seliph: I was trying my best to be an average unnoticable student and Oifey just went and ruined it
Lester: Hey at least he was nice
Lester: Brigid's probably gonna bully me
Lester: I hope I've at least got one of my cousins to suffer w me
Lana: You have Mareeta
Lester: Oh nice Ill have someone else than Iuchar
Iuchar: Can I get out of this group?
Larcei: If any of us could Id have left years ago
Larcei: What do u think the chat desc is for
Iuchar: Damn it
7:46 am
Groupchat: The legend of Lolcedsy
Description: If we had a penny each time Ced and Fee complained abt their dad wed be rich
Members: 7
Ced
Arthur
Fee
Coirpre
Patty
Karin
Fergus
Arthur: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Patty: Omg what
Fee: I HATE MY LIFE
Fee: ILL FUCKIN JUMP FROM THE WINDOW RN
Coipre: Fee we're on the 1st floor
Fee: I DONT CARE
Karin: Why is she acting like that?
Fee: BC LIFE HATES ME THATS WHY
Fergus: Can someone pls explain
Arthur: BLOJIIRLEHRU
Arthur: I CANT
Arthur: SO FUFNEIJOIVKA
Coirpre: Fee has to deal with her dad as homeroom teacher
Patty: OMG FR?????
Karin: Damn poor Fee
Fergus: U mean poor us
Fergus: Shes gonna complain every hour
Karin: Thats called friend support Fergy
Karin: We suffer w her
Fergus: True true
Fergus: Sorry Fee, complain all u want we're here to listen
Fergus: We re kinda used to it anyway
Patty: Wheres Ced btw
Patty: Hes gonna be so happy its not on him this year
Coipre: No idea, he wasnt with Fee when he arrived
Karin: Lmao probably still sleeping
Karin: Aside from that whos with who
Coirpre: Karin you're with Fergus
Coirpre: You have Mrs Yewfelle
Fergus: Which one
Coirpre: Patty's aunt
Fergus: Oh thank god its not her mom
Fergus: Shes scary
Patty: U know I could try to argue
Patty: But I fully agree
Coirpre: Patty we have Mr Kapathogia
Patty: WHAAAAAT NO WAAAAAYYYY
Patty: I WANTED MR BALMUUUUUNG
Fergus: Cmon Mr Kapathogias so nice
Fergus: Hes always talking abt his adopted kids its adorable
Arthur: I have Mr Balmung, cry abt it Patty
Patty: WHAT
Patty: OMG I HATE U SO MUCH
Karin: What abt Ced?
Fee: He's got Mr Tyrfing bc life doesnt hate him
Fee: Hes even w Altena
Fergus: Oh he'll definitely be happy abt that
Fergus: If he ever wakes up that is
Arthur: Lmao true
Arthur: Careful Cedsy, youll miss your chance to sit next to your future gf
7:47
Groupchat: Oops, I missed my heal
Description: We all need therapy
Members: 7
Leif
Nanna
Altena
Asbel
Sara
Arion
Tine
Leif: CRYIN SOBBIN
Asbel: ME TOOOOOO ;-;
Altena: What the fuck
Nanna: They're in different classes
Asbel: THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY
Leif: IM NEVER COMING TO CLASS
Sara: No
Sara: Im stuck with you so ill drag you by force if i have to
Nanna: Yeah Leif at least you have Sara
Nanna: Me Asbel and Tine arent with any of you
Nanna: Well at least Ive got my half bro
Arion: Diarmuid? He's a year above how can you two be in the same class
Nanna: Nah Fergus
Nanna: Hes Diam's half bro so hes kind of my half bro too
Altena: Makes sense ig
Altena: Who am I with btw
Arion: We're together
Arion: And with Ced too
Altena: Omg fr
Arion: Don't worry I won't mind if you sit next to him sometimes
Altena: Ur the best brother anyone could ask for
Leif: '-'
Altena: And u too Leif ofc
Leif: <3
Asbel: Welp
Asbel: I guess Tine and I are just gonna cry in our loneliness
Tine: It's okay Asbel we'll still see each other on breaks <3
Asbel: Can we go on dates where we just cry together
Tine: I'll bring the ice cream
Asbel: Omg love u so much <333
Sara: Cringe
Nanna: Cmon Sara let them be sad together
Sara: Ofc u defend them, u and Leif arent any better
Leif: Hey not true
Altena: Yeah agreed
Altena: Theyre 1% less cringe
Nanna: Sure sure
Nanna: We'll have this convo again when u and Ced get together
Arion: It's on times like these that I'm happy to be single
Sara: Thats bc no one likes u
Altena: Wrong
Altena: Thats bc hes too perfect for this world
Leif: No one will ever deserve him
Arion: That's very nice of you two but you could've just said I'm aro
Altena: Still, no one deserves you
Arion: I
Arion: Thank you?
Leif: :)
7:54
Groupchat: Murder is okay, your feelings matter
Description: This chat is 90% tsundere vibes and they all come from Ares and Julius
Members: 6
Lene
Ares
Julius
Mareeta
Saias
Febail
Mareeta: WHY AM I IN MY MOMS CLASS???
Febail: Haha cry abt it sis
Febail: I'm with aunt Edain
Mareeta: Im gonna murder u
Mareeta: Just wait until we get back home
Julius: Im with Julia -_-
Julius: I already gotta cope w my brother in my friend group, now I have to stand my sis in class
Saias: Be nice to her Julius.
Julius: Yeah yeah shut up
Lene: Bestiiiiiie we're togetheeeeer
Febail: Lene pls
Febail: Thats way too much joy for this grpchat
Lene: Idc lemme be happy
Lene: Areeees where are uuuu
Ares: Omw
Ares: Im buying crisps
Lene: Omg ur the best
Lene: We'll eat them while judging everyone else in our class
Ares: Sounds like a plan
Mareeta: Shut up lovebirds some ppl are trying to be upset
Lene: Ur just jealous u dont have a friendship like ours
Febail: Whod want a friendship like yours
Febail: Your just making everyone sick
Julius: ^
Saias: The fact that you're not even happy to be with me is a bit offending Mareeta.
Mareeta: Im very happy to be w u babe
Mareeta: But rn im busy planning the murder of whoever put me in my moms class
Mareeta: And Febails
Febail: Try me
Febail: You'll just get mom to bully u even more
Mareeta: Damn ur right
Mareeta: Alright baby bro u get to live
Mareeta: For now.
Saias: I can already tell this will be an exhausting year.
Julius: When are u not exhausted
Saias: Never since I have to put up with you daily.
Julius: Fuck u
Julius: Just leave me alone
Julius: I never asked u to babysit me or some shit
Lene: Tbf if we left u alone youd just get in trouble on first occasion
Febail: And the reason would most likely be murder
Lene: No thats Ares
Lene: Julius wouldnt have the courage
Julius: FUCK U ALL
Ares: .
Lene: Bestie u know its true
Lene: And luv u too Julius <33
Saias: Why does every of our conversations end up revolving around murder?
Ares: Bc violence is the only answer
Mareeta: ^
Saias: Sigh
Saias: I guess it was pointless to ask.
8:02
Groupchat: Teacher's room (or parents I dont remember tbh)
Description: Coffee is the only thing keeping us alive
Members: 7
Oifey
Shannan
Edain
Finn
Hannibal
Brigid
Lewyn
Lewyn: The coffee machine is broken
Shannan: Already????
Shannan: Class starts in 20min how am I supposed to survive without my caffeine dose
Brigid: You shut up and suffer in silence
Edain: I've brought my flask of coffee
Edain: I can give you some
Shannan: My lord and savior
Shannan: Can I marry you
Oifey: …
Shannan: Kidding kidding
Shannan: But seriously thanks Edain
Finn: If it's not too much trouble I wouldn't mind a bit of coffee either.
Edain: Not at all!
Edain: I've brought plenty since our coffee machine never works
Hannibal: Are you feeling alright Finn? You don't usually drink coffee
Finn: My wife spent almost the whole night on the phone arguing with her ex-husband.
Oifey: Oh Gods
Oifey: I hope you'll be okay
Finn: Yes I'm used to it at this point.
Brigid: What are they even arguing about
Brigid: If you don't mind me asking
Finn: Their son's shared custody mostly.
Lewyn: Isn't it supposed to be every other week or something?
Finn: On paper yes, but Diarmuid's father isn't always home because of his work.
Finn: So he tries to see his son whenever he can but most times Lachesis doesn't agree.
Finn: They can't keep track of who Diarmuid has seen the most recently so generally they assume it's their turn.
Shannan: Wow that sounds complicated as hell
Shannan: Hope it gets better soon
Finn: Thank you.
Finn: If anything I feel bad for Diarmuid, he's been looking so tired those last weeks.
Edain: Poor dear, it must be hard to never know when he'll have to move
Shannan: If I remember correctly he's in my class this year
Shannan: I'll make sure to be more lenient towards him
Hannibal: We all will, that boy deserves some rest
Finn: Thank you, that's very kind of you.
Finn: And sorry for ruining the mood on the first day.
Hannibal: Don't worry about it! We're happy to lend you an ear
Edain: I second that, always feel free to talk to us Finn
Finn: Thank you all, truly.
Shannan: Man having kids sounds exhausting
Oifey: Does that mean you don't want us to adopt children?
Shannan: Oifey.
Shannan: Dear.
Shannan: Sweetheart.
Shannan: Love of my life.
Shannan: I would raise an entire orphenage with you if you asked me.
Oifey: That's so sweet of you Sha...
Brigid: Aw
Brigid: Like Febail would say
Brigid: Cringe
Edain: Brigid!
Brigid: Sorry sorry
Brigid: Anyway it's almost time
Brigid: Gotta go bother my daughter and nephew
Edain: Brigid...
Brigid: Bother them NICELY
Edain: I guess that will have to do
Edain: See you later everyone
Finn: Thank you again for the coffee Edain.
Edain: Don't mention it!
8:11
Groupchat: The legend of Lolcedsy
Description: If we had a penny each time Ced and Fee complained abt their dad wed be rich
Members: 7
Ced
Arthur
Fee
Coirpre
Patty
Karin
Fergus
Ced: SHIT SHIT SHIT
Ced: MY ALARM WASNT ON
Patty: U have 10min Cedsy
Patty: U better run fast
Ced: UIENHFUIBVPNV