Chapter Text
As my body turned to dust, I thought about everything that has led me to this moment. I won’t have enough time to tell you everything before I disappear, so how about I show you instead, huh kiddos? I'm sure you won't mind. I will show and tell you the key moments from start to finish…i hope you enjoy.
I don’t have many memories of my early childhood, so this section will be the shortest. My first memory is of me playing with crayons, it was still and silent before I heard a shatter coming from the kitchen.
“Gaster sweetie, could you go check on Sans? He’s been awfully quiet”, I heard my mother say in her sweet, soothing voice that she used for everyone she cared about.
“Of course, honey!” I heard my father say before he came into the room I was in, likely the living room. My father crouched down and sat next to me on the play mat.
“Hey Sans, what are you drawing?” my father asked softly.
“Us!”, I replied with child-like enthusiasm before showing him the drawing I made. The drawing consisted of scribbles and three poorly drawn smiley faces in the middle to resemble me, my father, and my mother.
“I love it, Sans, let me show your mother” my father said while trying not to chuckle. I happily handed over my drawing and could hear my father giggle as he went to the kitchen to show my mother.
That was nice to look back on. Oh! I forgot to mention my mother’s name! Her name is Lucida. My dad’s name, as you probably heard before, is Gaster. I’m Sans, Sans the skeleton, it’s nice to finally introduce myself! Back to the stories, no need to sidetrack.
This next story takes place when my parents had brought me to Grillby’s so they could hangout with friends. My father was speaking to Grillby, who was his best friend at this time, while I was trying to grab some ketchup that my father assumed was for my fries. However, when my father handed me a ketchup packet, instead of putting it on my fries, I bit off the corner and started drinking the ketchup out of the packet. When my father saw what I was doing, he spoke sweetly.
“Sans, no. Put it on your fries, or don’t use it. That’s not good for you, sweetie”, My father said, sounding a little concerned for his son who is obsessed with drinking ketchup (sorry dad, that didn’t change).
He had then taken away the ketchup packets and put them back so I couldn’t reach them. I still go to Grillby’s often and drink ketchup anyways; suck it Dad! Sorry, let's continue the stories.
The next story is probably my second favorite. I was about 5 years old, or a little younger and was half asleep. My mother had gently picked me up off the couch and was holding me in her arms like a baby. I had started to open my eyes but she spoke softly to lull me back to sleep.
“It’s okay, Baby, just go back to sleep, Mama’s just carrying you to bed, just close your eyes and sleep”, Her quiet and sweet voice was so lulling that I had fallen asleep before we reached my bedroom, only her setting me down onto my bed had awoken me before she started to gently tuck me in and sing a soothing lullaby. I have since forgotten the song she sang, but the memory always calms me and helps me fall asleep after a particularly rough day.
Now for my absolute favorite childhood memory. The first time I met my baby brother, Papyrus. My mother came in holding him bundled in a blanket, I was so excited. My mother addressed me with her gentle voice.
“Sansy, are you ready to meet your little brother?” she smiled at me, knowing I’d say yes.
“Yeh!,” I said enthusiastically. When I saw my brother I immediately grabby hands for him and she handed the baby. He was so cute my eyelights twinkled brightly as I held him close to my chest, “He’s so cute… so tiny… he’s a tiny skelly…”
“Yes sweetie, so be very careful” she spoke softly and gently patted my head.
As I looked at my brother in his adorable little face I had only one question, “what’s his name, Mama?”, I said gently and lovingly towards my new baby brother.
“His name is Papyrus but you can call him Papy”, my mother’s voice was soft and sweet when she said the nickname of the baby.
I smiled and held him close to my chest, looking at his sleepy smiling face. I held him for a few moments, letting the baby hold my hand and suck on my finger while he looked at me lovingly… I’ll never forget that moment. I will cherish it until I die…
Papyrus sorting blocks is another cherishable memory. I would give him discrete help because he disliked being helped. He finally pushed the last shape into its place, making the most triumphant and proud look a 1.5 year old could make. Seeing him happy made me overjoyed…
“Nyeh heh!”My adorable baby brother cooed as his eyes were sparkling with victory against the baby puzzle.
“Good job, Papy!”, I said smiling as my brother then moved onto another puzzle to prove he was good at every puzzle he could complete.
I loved watching the “stars” with my mother in Waterfall. The next story will be one of those memorable times.
“Hey Sansy, do you see those ones?,'' She points to a group of the shiny gems in the cave roof that resemble stars, “don’t they look familiar?” She sweetly prompted me to respond and recognize the shapes in the stars.
“Yeah, they look like an echo flower!” I said with excitement, smiling proudly.
“Good job, Sansy… I love you, Sweetie” she smiled at me in a melancholic but loving way.
“I love you too, Mama”, I said knowingly. I understood why she was so sad but that she was just trying not to worry me. I gave a soft smile and snuggled up closer to her. She then pulled me into her lap and held me so I was curled up on her lap, my head resting on her chest comfortingly as I listened to the rhythm of her soul.
I knew exactly why she was sad, she was sick. Making Papyrus had made her weak and sick, she isn’t improving…even my father trying to use healing magic to give her some of his magic hasn’t been working, it was concerning to me even as a child. She had started to have to spend days in bed due to being too weak to keep her knees from giving out. She used these days to cuddle me and Papyrus and help us with coloring, puzzles, or just watching a movie or the TV together.
I have one more memory I have been stalling to tell you, but I have to get it over with, sorry kiddos.
I will never forget watching my mom get progressively weaker for weeks until that dreadful day arrived. I will never forget my fathers face as my mom turned to dust in his arms… I can never forget his screams and cries as he begged for her not to die. I was holding Papyrus in my arms, clutching him close to my chest. I looked down at him and wished I was as blissfully unaware of everything going on as he was. I also felt insanely bad for him because he’ll never know and remember his mother due to his young age at the time of her death.
The next memories are uneventful and not-so-pleasant but must be told, I'm sorry.