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may i make you mine? (and other such fantasies)

Summary:

Akito Shinonome has always been excellent at self expression.

Be it through music, art, or other similarly creative endeavors, Akito’s always been able to get his point across with relative ease. Granted, these ideas typically require some tweaking, yes, but the gist comes across easily. The details come later.

The only thing that Akito seems to struggle with expressing is his feelings. Particularly, his feelings in regard to his friend, Toya Aoyagi.

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this fic is literally just Akito failing to ask Toya out. enjoy. he's trying so hard.

Notes:

I wrote this in an hour and barely edited it because God hates me.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Akito Shinonome has always been excellent at self expression. 

Be it through music, art, or other similarly creative endeavors, Akito’s always been able to get his point across with relative ease. Granted, these ideas typically require some tweaking, yes, but the gist comes across easily. The details come later.

The only thing that Akito seems to struggle with expressing is his feelings. Particularly, his feelings in regard to his friend, Toya Aoyagi.

Akito has a crush. This would not be as troubling as it is if Akito knew exactly how Toya felt about him. Or, really, if he knew Toya’s orientation. It's unfortunate for the boy that he can't pry that pretty head open and take a look at the thoughts swirling around inside.

Everyone he knows is aware of his woes. Ena has unfortunately been the subject of many, many longform ramblings about Toya. These discussions vary from simply talking about the boy himself to lamenting over his inability to simply take action and ask him out. 

Even An Shiraishi had somehow figured it out, and he hadn't even spoken to her. Maybe it was because she saw how awkward Akito had begun to behave around Toya. Maybe she was just a mind reader.

Regardless, Akito was stuck. These feelings were torturous, to Akito himself and to everyone he interacted with beyond the surface level. 

He had to ask Toya out. 

Really, it was the only option that made sense. It was the best possible way to address his emotions and to get a grasp on Toya’s.

The only problem with this idea is that Akito is terrified. And, really, who wouldn't be? To confess such deep, serious emotions with no guarantee of reciprocation is terrifying, frankly.

To combat this, Akito has been practicing. Repeating his speech over and over to himself, asking for approval from Ena, An, hell, even his mother at one point. 

Akito grips his sink until his knuckles are white, glares at his reflection until it vaguely resembles Toya (it doesn't). “Toya, I like you, will you be my boyfriend?” is what he settles with - simple, clear, and to the point, much like the rest of Akito’s communication with the boy.

He'd learned relatively early on into their friendship that Toya was unlike most. Most people are expressive and loud and ask for things, at least sometimes - Toya does none of it. He doesn't ask too much, doesn't take more than is necessary. 

Toya, Akito has noticed, is very, very bad at expressing his emotions. His happiness and sadness and anger and everything else are all delivered with the same monotony. Akito was convinced at first that Toya disliked him, but he insisted that no, I don't hate you, Akito

Akito's learned to pick up on the most minor of differences in Toya’s tone, expression, body language and everything else by now. Toya is still rather reserved and still quite bluntly honest, but Akito’s grown to appreciate it.

He's grown to appreciate a lot about Toya. The way his eyes light up when Akito brings him a coffee, the fire that blazes around the boy when he's feeling passionate. The smile that teases at the corner of his lips when Akito praises his performing. His lips, in general. Toya’s lips. His eyes, the beauty mark under his left eye, that stupidly adorable face he makes when he's trying to understand something Akito says.

One phrase that could be used to describe the ginger would be “down bad.” Or, as An said, “down astronomically bad, oh my God, Akito,” as she laughed at the irritated blush quickly dusting across his face. Not an inaccurate assessment, though one he deemed entirely unnecessary.

Akito’s mind is drawn back to An’s mockery a few weeks later. Their practice draws out into the late evening, as a navy starscape oozes its way into the pastel pinks and oranges of the passing summer day. And, as per usual, Toya is practically radiant under the gentle moonlight - a natural spotlight under which the boy shines.

Fuck it, Akito thinks, grabbing Toya by the wrist (gently) and looking him in the eye. 

“Toya,” he begins, coughing as he hears his croaky, worn out voice. Perhaps directly after practice wasn't a good time to confess his crush, but he'd already started. Too late to back down.

“Yes?” Toya responds, head tilting with a raised eyebrow as he meets Akito’s olive-green eyes. The boy is sweating (from practice, surely) and his eyes quickly dart away (obviously he's tired), as he pokes at Akito’s hand still grasping his wrist.

Akito quickly recoils, mumbling “so,” before clearing his throat. “Uh, I… shit, that's not how it’s meant to…”

“Meant to what?” Toya asks as Akito trails off, arms awkwardly by his side - how unfortunate, Akito thinks, they should be around him.

“Uh… okay, okay, just… I'm gonna ask you somethin’, okay? A-And, like, you gotta promise you're not gonna judge or like… interrupt. Just… listen, okay?” Akito asks, his voice toying the line of pleading - Toya simply nods. 

“... okay, so. Toya,” Akito starts - so far, so good. Until he arrives at the hard part. “I… uh, I-I…” he stutters, cursing under his breath as he grasps at the air. Toya simply raises an eyebrow, honoring Akito’s request for silence.

“I-I, uh… I like you. Uh, so I was, y'know… I was wonderin’ if…” Akito grumbles as he fidgets awkwardly with the string of his hoodie, staring at his hands and the ground and buildings and the moon and anything that wasn't Toya. “... do you, uh…”

“... do I what?” Toya finally asks after a moment of silence, at which point Akito locks eyes with him and meekly gestures for him to be quiet as he tosses a mimed zipper over his shoulder.

“... do you wanna, uh… shit, why is this so hard, man…?” Akito sighs, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment. He looks back up at Toya, making eye contact as he finally asks, “Toya, do you want to be my boy… uh, m-my… boy… best friend…?”

He stares shamefully at the ground as Toya takes a moment to process his request. Boy best friend? Toya, in all honesty, had assumed they were already best friends, so he smiles and nods, “I'd like that, Akito.”

The ginger lets out a sigh of relief before offering Toya a crooked grin. They make conversation which is only slightly awkward, Akito suggests they grab a coffee and a snack after their hard work. Toya agrees, and the pair wander off along Vivid Street, chatting about anything that crosses their minds.

Except for Akito’s feelings, of course - at least he's learned from this experience. Asking Toya to be his boyfriend has to happen some other day, either before practice or away from music altogether.

For Toya Aoyagi, the interaction simply flittered off to the back of his mind - Akito was now his “boy best friend,” whatever that entailed. It wasn't much different from their normal, so he adjusted rather quickly.

Akito, however, did not simply accustom himself to this. He practically slammed Ena’s door off of the hinges, groaning about his, to put it bluntly, fumble. She rolls her eyes and scoffs and tells him he's useless, he insists that he's well aware, don't remind him.

Akito Shinonome sighs to himself as he tucks himself into bed. Today had been awkward, to say the very least, and yet… he still finds himself grinning at the thought of Toya’s immediate acceptance. Maybe, he thinks, maybe there's hope for Akito and Toya, the couple. Akito quickly drifts off to sleep with a single thought echoing around his head - he'll have to try again as soon as he can.

Notes:

haiii hope you enjoyed my pet losers :3 uhh okay social medias: Instagram @franziska.von.karma.enjoyer, Tumblr @theeniebeanie, discord @theeniebeanie. feel free to Interact. I'm so tired sorry I have no thoughts xoxo <3

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