Chapter Text
With a smug smile, Tim walked downstairs into his living room and reported, “Fiona agreed to take her nap in two minutes.”
Lucy blew out a dry laugh. “Oh, yeah? How many princess kisses did it take?”
“Only two,” he responded innocently, then added, “plus, two bear kisses.”
She really wanted to be frustrated with him, but instead, when he was close enough to the couch for her to touch him, she reached for whatever part of him she could grab and drew him in for one peck then a second.
“What about the bear kisses?” He asked when she withdrew.
“In a minute. I was in the middle of reading something. I thought I would have more time, since nap negotiations usually take longer when you don’t play dirty.”
He mocked offense. “I’m not playing dirty. I’m being efficient.”
She hummed, pretending to be aggravated, and then she returned her attention to her laptop to continue reading the article she had found.
Curious what could possibly be more worthy of her time than him, Tim slid onto the couch next to her and read off her screen a very scientific sounding article title, so he frowned and asked, “Are you reading ANOTHER one of those?”
“This is a very comprehensive early childhood development study to find out how to get Fiona ready to go to school.”
“Lucy.” He clicked his tongue. “You’ve been reading those things nonstop for weeks. When we registered Fi, the school gave us their list of requirements for her to start preschool, and she checks all of the boxes.”
“One of those checkboxes was whether she knows how to share or not, and the other was if she has some fine motor skills.”
“Things we know Fiona can do, because she shares everything with Kojo and holds her crayons just fine. Plus, she can read, which isn’t even a requirement going into preschool, so she’s advanced for her age.”
“I know, but I want to make sure I’m not missing anything, and this study is really thorough.”
He took the laptop away from her, closed the lid, and looked into her eyes. “She’s ready,” he assured her softly.
“You can’t know that. You haven’t been reading all of the research I’ve been looking at-”
“It doesn’t matter what some research article says.” He ran his hands up and down her thighs in an effort to ease some of the tension starting to show on her face. “She’s our kid, and we know she can handle school. I think she’s actually looking forward to it.”
“Fiona is our first kid, and parents are notorious for screwing up their first kids, because they don’t know better. You were your parents’ first kid. I was my parents’ first and only kid. And no offense, I think it’s pretty safe to say they messed up with us, and I know logically we aren’t our parents, but I don’t want to make the same kinds of mistakes with our kids.”
“We haven’t, and you know that as well as I do. All of this research into getting a kid ready for preschool sounds like it’s really about something else. Are you sure you’re not projecting your worry about Fiona growing up too fast?”
She scowled, not liking his assessment, but after pondering his point for another minute, she wondered, “Since when are you the emotionally aware one?”
“Since I’ve been spending so much time with you.”
“Now it’s biting me in the ass.”
He leaned the top half of his body into hers as he smirked. “I mean, if you’re into that-”
“Tim!” She hissed, a sound that was soon muffled when his mouth collided with hers. She broke away to say, “We really should talk to her about school again. Make sure she’s really ready.”
“When she’s awake, but right now…” He gently pushed her back so that he could crawl on top of her and savor their few moments alone that parenthood did not always afford.
Kojo thought his family was making a pile of love, so he bounded over to the couch, stood tall on his hind legs, and whined in his request for help to join.
Lucy broke the kiss to look to Kojo, and she had to laugh. “Come here, buddy.”
Tim groaned and got off of her to make space for the dog on her chest.
She pet Kojo as she told Tim, “It’s fine.”
“You have to admit we get interrupted a lot when we’re in the middle of…stuff.”
“I know, but it’s okay,” she assured him to which he tilted his head in a silent question she could answer, “Because I get you forever, so what’s an interruption every once in a while?”
“Still annoying,” he grumbled.
Though it took some maneuvering, she sat up and slid Kojo down to her lap, then she was able to shift towards Tim where he was sitting further down the couch, and she pressed her lips to his. “Get over it. This is what the rest of your life looks like.”
He had to pause and marvel at that thought. The rest of his life. With her. With her warmth. With her love turning him into a better man. With her hands on him. With her laughter echoing in his ears. With their family. With interruptions, too. Interruptions were a meager price to pay for all of that. He covered her hand on Kojo where he could feel the metal of her wedding ring and the stone of her engagement ring under his palm. “No complaints here.”
She flashed him a smile, appreciating the easy way he could be convinced. “That’s what I thought. Now, let’s watch some ‘Top Chef’. We’re a million episodes behind.”
‧‧‧‧‧‧‧ ✿ ‧ ᰔᩚ ‧ 𐙚 ‧ ᰔᩚ ‧ ✿ ‧‧‧‧‧‧‧
Fiona woke up from her nap and raced downstairs. “Kojo! We have to get Daddy! It’s baseball time!” She announced, which woke the dog from his own nap on Lucy’s thighs. “Daddy, can you change my bow to the Dodgers blue one?”
Tim was about to say “yes”, but he caught Lucy’s eye and saw how she flattened her lips into a thin line. “We can’t play baseball right now, munchkin. Your mommy and I need to talk to you first.”
Fiona furrowed her brow, wondering what it could be, then her face lit up. “WE’RE HAVING A BABY!” She squealed.
Lucy’s eyes went wide, and she panicked for a moment. “W- NO! No, no, no, no, we’re not, we’re not having a baby, sweetie.”
Fiona crossed her arms, her hopes dashed, “Why not? Jack told me he’s getting a baby, so why can’t I get a baby?”
Lucy glanced at Tim before explaining, “Honey, having a baby would mean you would have a brother or sister.”
“I know. I had lots of foster brothers and sisters once,” she vaguely remembered. “They were mean to me, because they were bigger than me, but a baby won’t be mean to me. Jack said his mommy and daddy promised he would love the new baby they were getting.”
“Jack will definitely love his new baby brother or sister, and I know you’ll have lots of fun with your new cousin when they’re born, but we’re not getting a baby right now. We want to talk to you about something else-”
Fiona outstretched her hand to her dad. “Daddy will get a baby for us, right? Come on, Daddy, let’s go to the store to get a baby!”
He wanted to laugh at the fact that his daughter thought babies came from a store, but maybe that was partially his fault when he told her that grocery stories had “everything”. “Munchkin, your mommy just said we’re not getting a baby.”
“But Jack got the same blocks after he played with mine, and I got the same markers he has at his house. We always get the same stuff except books. I have more books than him. Is that why we can’t have a baby?”
Lucy had to think for a moment about how to explain the situation to their daughter. “Fi, babies aren’t like toys. They’re people. And-and babies cry a lot, and they’re a lot of work. Right now, your daddy and I don’t think this family can add a baby.” She met Tim’s gaze. “We do want another kid at some point,” she said uneasily, and he gave her a subtle nod of confidence. “Maybe in a few years, you’ll have a new brother or sister, but until then, don’t you think that it’s fun that we’re a family all four of us?”
“I don’t know. A baby sounds great. Jack said he’s happy about having a baby.”
“That’s good,” Tim replied. “He should be excited about having a brother or sister, and when the time comes, I know you’ll be excited to be a big sister, and you’ll do a really good job. Give us a few years, though, okay?”
Fiona shook her head in her displeasure.
Lucy offered their daughter an encouraging smile. “If I’ve learned anything lately, it’s that families come together in the right time. You’ll have a brother or sister at the right time. Until then, I wanted to talk to you about school.”
“School!” Fiona cheered and did a little hop of joy.
“You WANT to go to school?” Lucy asked for clarification.
“Nell said school is where I get to read and color but with more friends. Like my play dates with Jack but with even more kids. And she said no one will pull my bows, so I can wear them there, too,” Fiona recounted what she had been told.
“That’s right. You’ll get to make friends,” Lucy agreed. “Are you ready for that? I know it’s a big change from spending all day with Nell and Kojo.”
“I can come home and tell Kojo about all of my new friends, or maybe he can come, too,” Fiona thought aloud.
“Kojo can’t come to school with you, Fi,” Tim was quick to correct her before she made plans to put their dog into her backpack…again. “But you can tell him about school when you come home.”
“And us,” Lucy chimed in. “We want to hear about school, too. It’s a big change. You’ll spend part of the day out of the house and not just with Nell. It’s going to be different.”
“That’s okay, Mommy,” Fiona assured her. “It was different when I got a mommy, and a daddy, and a green room, and a dog, but that was good. School will be good, too. Can we play baseball now?”
Lucy snapped her jaw shut. “Yup. I guess you can go play baseball now.”
“I need a blue bow for the Dodgers first,” Fiona remembered and ran towards the stairs to go up to her room.
Tim was stunned by Fiona’s reaction so much so he had to sit further back on the couch as he blew out a breath.
“She…,” Lucy’s voice trailed off. “She…she’s okay with school. She’s not scared at all.”
“Change is apparently not that scary for her,” he reasoned. “Unlike you,” he teased.
“Is this how we screw her up? Make her so okay with change that she’s not okay with routine or things being normal?”
He shook his head to stop her before she could spiral. “Hang on, hang on. This isn’t us screwing her up. Before Fiona came to live with us, she moved around a lot between foster homes. She got used to change before we even met her. Does any of that research you’ve been reading talk about how going to school is different for kids that spent the first three years of their lives in the foster system?”
She pouted. “No.”
He wrapped an arm around her back to bring her closer to him until she could rest her head on his shoulder for support. “She’s not scared about going to school. She’s looking forward to socializing. That’s a good thing.”
“When we met her, she didn’t seem to want to socialize with most people other than us and Nell. Kojo helped her be more social, and so did play dates with Jack.”
“Does that mean we’re the reason she’s looking forward to making friends?”
“I guess.” Her eyes began to sting with unshed tears. “We helped her grow.”
“Like flowers, right?” He reminded her.
She smiled wetly. “Yeah,” she breathed. “Now our flower is all grown up.”
He had to scoff at that. “She’s only four, Luce.”
“I know, but in the blink of an eye, she’ll be eighteen and leaving us to go to college.”
“That’s not for another fourteen long years of her interrupting us and exhausting us with her antics.”
Before Lucy could reply, she heard the hurried footsteps of their daughter as she returned to the living room with a blue ribbon that she was holding up high.
“Daddy! I need a new bow, please!”
“Of course, munchkin,” he replied. Pecked Lucy’s forehead before letting her go, and bent forward to untie the green ribbon around Fiona’s ponytail and replace it with the blue one. “There you go.”
“Give this one to Mommy,” Fiona requested and tapped on his hand that was holding her green ribbon.
Lucy turned her head for Tim to have access to the back of her head where her hair had been gathered into a low ponytail, but when she thought about wearing her daughter’s green ribbon yet again, nostalgia added to the other onslaught of emotions crashing over her moments before, and she began to cry.
Fiona was quick to climb into her mom’s lap and throw her arms around her. “Don’t cry, Mommy. It’s okay.”
“I love you so much,” Lucy whispered as she embraced her daughter tightly.
“Don’t cry, Mommy. I love you, too. Did I forget to tell you today?” She felt guilty she might have been the reason her mom was sad.
“I know, honey. You don’t have to tell me. I know.” Lucy squeezed her as she swallowed back more tears from falling. Hoping the tears had subsided, she pulled away slightly to look into her daughter’s shiny blue eyes like precious aquamarines. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m sad about you going to school, because it means you’re growing up.”
Though it was stating the obvious, Fiona quite liked bragging about how grown up she was. “Yeah, I’m four now. I’m a big girl.”
“You sure are.” She thought she might start crying again. “No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby bear.”
Fiona grinned. “You’re my mommy bear!”
“Always,” Lucy replied quietly and gave her daughter another hug. She wiped her damp cheeks. “Okay, let’s go play baseball.”
“Yay!” Fiona cheered. She made quick work of putting on her green sneakers and knew exactly where her baseball gear was stowed in the garage, so she could easily gather it all and set up her tee and ball. “Kojo, get ready!” She directed before getting into her batting stance at the tee with her bat in hand. She focused really hard then swung, and the ball soared. Kojo chased after it to retrieve it and return it to her for her to hit the ball all over again.
Lucy wound her arms around Tim’s waist on the edge of the yard where they could watch their daughter play. Quietly, she said, “She’s really growing up.”
“It’s not a bad thing,” he determined. “When she gets older, she’ll be an even better batter.”
She let out a dry laugh. “Sure, it’s okay that our baby is growing up as long as that means she’s a better baseball player.”
“And it’ll make her a better big sister it sounds like…in maybe a year?”
She dropped her head back to momentarily stop admiring their daughter and instead look at him. “Are we seriously having this conversation right now?”
“I didn’t bring it up. Our daughter did.”
“Tim, we haven’t even been together that long. I know we’re married on paper, but if we were dating under normal circumstances, we probably would’ve just started talking about maybe moving in together let alone marriage and kids.”
“So we’re doing things a little out of order,” he replied casually, which made her quirk an eyebrow at him, “Okay, REALLY out of order, but we are married, and we do live together, and we already have one kid, and we agreed we would have more than one.”
“We agreed it would happen someday,” she punctuated the last word to make her point.
“Someday could be a year from now.”
“So after dating for a year and a half, we’ll have TWO kids? That’s…fast.”
“But we’ve known each other for about as long as Fiona’s been alive, and like she said, she’s a big girl now. That’s not fast.” He could read the trepidation all over her face. “Or we can wait. There’s no problem with waiting. Just not too long. I don’t want there to be a big age gap between our kids.”
“Would we…adopt our second kid? Would we try to get pregnant? I-I’ve pictured us with multiple kids, but I don’t know how that would happen.”
“Well, the baby isn’t coming from a store,” he joked to make her smile, and he was successful. “Look, Fiona being our kid wasn’t planned, but we should make a plan for the next one. It’ll be a whole lot easier to adopt a kid now that we’re certified to foster and have gone through the whole process once already.”
“That’s true.”
“But I think we’re also really good at practicing to make a baby, so actually trying could be fun.” His eyes and smirk darkened at the suggestion.
She immediately pictured him pulling her into the laundry room and taking her pants off claiming it was “for their future baby” knowing it would be just another excuse to have sex, and she giggled. “Either option sounds good to me.”
“We don’t have to decide right now. We can wait until we get approved to adopt Fiona. After we sign those papers, and she’s officially ours, we can start making a plan for the next kid.”
“I thought we agreed that after we adopted Fiona, we would make a plan for getting married. Actually married. For us.”
He had forgotten about that particular step. Their paper marriage had evolved so much since the day they went to the courthouse and signed a marriage license, and most days, he forgot she was only his wife legally. “Does it really make sense to sign divorce papers only to get married again?”
“We agreed that once the adoption went through-”
“That we would get divorced. I know. But we made that agreement when we started all of this between figuring out where we should have a reception after our courthouse wedding and talking about what size we think Fiona was to shop for new clothes for her. Everything’s different now. Since then, you’ve said you might not want to get the divorce.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I shouldn’t have said that. We shouldn’t rush into anything.”
“A little late for that.” He jerked his head in the direction of Fiona as she hit the ball again.
“Home run!” Fiona shouted.
“Good job, slugger!” Tim called over to her, then he whispered to Lucy, “Maybe under normal circumstances, I’d be asking you to move in with me right now, but who cares? We already live together. We already know how to share a bathroom, and who gets what side of the bed, and how to divide housework. We can move onto the next step, which includes making a plan for a second kid.”
“Are you sure that’s okay with you? You were the one that wanted to take things slow at first.”
“I did,” he confirmed and cupped her cheek. “But now it doesn’t feel like rushing.”
“What does it feel like?” She asked lowly despite internally presuming what he meant.
“Just right,” he murmured and craned his neck to capture her lips.
Fiona turned to ask her parents if they had seen her most recent hit, then she saw them kissing and made a happy sound. Right then, she decided what she wanted to read at story time, so after dinner, and her bath, she donned her pajamas all by herself and hurried to her crammed book case. She selected “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”, handed it to her mom, and said, “No more princess books for me.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve already outgrown them,” Lucy replied, her heart cracking thinking her daughter was growing way too quickly.
“You and Daddy are my favorite princess story,” she explained.
“I know, but sometimes it’s nice to hear different stories and learn the lessons in them.”
“Well, not today. Today, I want my bedtime story to be the bear book, and then you have to give Daddy a bear kiss.”
“That can be arranged. Let’s get in bed.” She cozied up next to her daughter under the comforter with enough space for Tim to cram himself in, however he had not appeared in their daughter’s bedroom yet. Just when she was about to call out to him, he poked his head in and grinned.
“Did I miss the bedtime story?” He asked from the doorway.
“We can’t have bedtime stories without you!” Fiona insisted.
Lucy nodded her agreement, then saw a curious glint in his eye. “Is something up?”
He revealed what he was hiding behind his back and presented it to her.
She blushed immediately. “Did you seriously go outside and pick a rose for me?” Lucy asked with thinly veiled amusement as she eyed the red bloom he was holding out for her.
“I figured you needed a reminder that growth isn’t so bad, and it’s not just about her becoming a better batter.”
“Or a big sister,” Lucy replied at a whisper. She took the rose to cherish it and its symbolism for a moment. “Thank you.” She tilted her head back to gesture for him to kiss her, and he obliged, which made Fiona chuckle. “Sit down so I can read the story.” Lucy began the book, and then she got to the part of the story that made her smile, “Goldilocks saw three chairs. She sat in the first chair and frowned, because it was too hard. Then she sat in the second chair and pouted, because it was too soft. So she sat in the third chair and sighed. ‘Ahh, just right,’ Goldilocks said.” Lucy found Tim’s eyes and gave him a special smile, because that was the descriptor he used when explaining how he felt about the speed of their relationship. Again and again, Goldilocks moved through the house where the three bears lived finding what was “just right” in her quest for the perfect temperature of porridge, the perfect mattress, and so on.
When the bedtime story was over and Fiona was tucked snugly under the covers, Tim pecked her forehead and said, “Good night, munchkin. I love you.”
“I love you, Daddy. I love you, Mommy.” She beamed up at her parents while they moved towards the doorway. She thought she might have to remind them of her request for a bear kiss, but then her mom held her dad’s face and brought her lips to his. The bedroom light was switched off as Fiona’s eyes shuttered closed with the ghost of a smile on her face.
Lucy only managed to take a few small steps into the hallway as she distractedly twirled the rose in her hand. “We grow beautiful things,” she commented fondly.
“We do,” he replied confidently as he crowded her against the wall.
She looked up at him through her eyelashes. “I guess adding to our garden sooner rather than later would be nice.”
“Are you saying…?”
“When Fiona is officially adopted, we can think about how to grow our family whether we adopt again or go the old fashioned route. Which means…no divorce. It’s no use. Where we are now feels…just right.”
He smiled, since no words could encapsulate his happiness.
She had to share the warring thoughts brewing in her mind, “This is all a little insane, right? I mean, jumping into this relationship with one kid was a lot. You and I are still growing, but we’re going to be married. Really married. And maybe even have another kid soon…God, Tim, this isn’t how these things are supposed to go.”
“People aren’t supposed to get married to adopt a kid, either, but it worked out for us.”
“We’ve lost our minds. What are our friends gonna say when we tell them?”
“I don’t care. This is our family. We make the decisions that are right for us.”
“Even if it’s complicated?”
His lips turned down as he considered it. “Actually, I think we’re making things less complicated.” With his hands on her hips he steered her off of the wall and towards their bedroom. “It’s simple really.” He bent low to barely brush his lips over hers in that featherlight way that made the short hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “I love you,” he whispered quietly like a well kept secret, then his mouth went back to hers for a second. “You love me.”
She hummed in confirmation as they continued their unhurried path to their room. Gently, she cupped his cheek knowing the action would communicate her love for him every single time.
He kissed her again just a little longer and with a bit more pressure than the last. “We love Fiona,” he rumbled before slotting their lips together in that lingering way that always caused her to whimper when he pulled away too soon. “We’ll love all of our future kids,” he said.
“Of course,” she replied lowly.
Tim did not need to move as much as she met his mouth in the middle for a languid kiss. “And now…,” he covered her hand on his face to pull it away carefully and confirm that she was wearing two rings plus his bracelet around her wrist, which was a nice addition, “now we’re not getting divorced, which means…”
Since he was struggling to finish his sentence, floundering in a way she had not seen him do since the night before their wedding day when he showed up to her old apartment to discuss logistics, including the need to practice kissing before the ceremony. How things had changed since then. “Which means we’re married,” she said softly with all of the reverence that kind of statement deserved.
Hearing her go first made it easier for him to form the words. “Which means…we’re married. For us,” he whispered, and she nodded ever so slightly.
“For us.” They were not exactly paying attention to how their feet were continuing to carry them down the corridor, so Lucy huffed in surprise when her back made contact with the closed door of their bedroom. Yet another wave of deja vu crashed over her remembering the night before their wedding. In the name of practice, they kissed each other desperately on their way to her old bedroom in her old apartment. That night, she selfishly invited him into her bedroom for an evening of passion, because she wanted one singular night to be with him. She wanted to have the experience of making love with him one time. When their union was nothing more than a piece of paper. When she was certain there could never be more. When everything was supposed to be done in the name of Fiona, Lucy had yearned to feel his body against hers and see how they fit together one singular, blessed time for her. Just for her. Nothing had remained the same. Not her address. Not her feelings for him. Not even her acceptance of only having one night with him. Except, there was one thing that remained unchanged. She stood up tall to pull him down towards her and command his mouth with an intensity unlike their other kisses that day but more akin to how they had been in her apartment on the eve of their wedding. However, in her apartment, she had both of her hands on him, searching for every inch of him, and now, one hand was settled on the back of his neck in the spot she liked to hold him and the other was clasping a rose grown out of their boundless love.
As her tongue scraped the inside of his mouth leaving flames in its wake, he felt his breathing catch for the most delightful reason, yet he had to pull away momentarily. Lucy did not seem to like that, since she chased his lips for another kiss that almost distracted him but not quite. “Wait,” he said and was cut off by her mouth trying to move over his. “Luce-”
“What?” She asked, mildly annoyed that he wanted to talk when she was hoping they could do something else.
“I…wait, I didn’t get to ask. I was gonna propose, and-”
Lucy shook her head. “I already proposed, remember?”
“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be the one to ask.”
“Didn’t we just say that it’s okay if we don’t do things the way they’re supposed to be done?” She opened their bedroom door and stepped back. Unsurprisingly, he moved in lock step with her over the threshold. The first time, she had to ask to invite him in, but since they shared a room now, no invitation was required.
“Fine,” he acquiesced, and then she was all over him. Tim let her assert her dominance over their kiss while her warm hands blazed lines across his back and over his chest as they traveled. When her fingers dropped down to the hem of his pants, he broke away panting. “Wow,” he whispered.
“There’s more where that came from once you take your clothes off.” She quickly shed her shirt then her pants while taking special care to not let go of her rose. Lucy set it on her nightstand before sliding into bed. “What’s taking you so long?”
She had her greedy hands outstretched for him, and he smiled. “What’s the rush? Are you worried we’re gonna get interrupted?”
“We better not.” She ogled him as he strutted over to her, then she hauled him on top of her. The night before their wedding, they certainly did not get so far despite her plans for more, and she was pleased that nothing would stop them now. “But if we do, we’ve got forever.” Lucy kissed his slowly. Without the barrier of their clothing, their hands could wander, but nothing more needed to happen for a few lazy moments until the heat between them rose to a scorching degree that was almost unbearable, and then their movements intensified. She was glad she had been wrong when she thought she could only have one night with him like this with limbs tangled together so tightly and hearts beating erratically yet in time, and later when the passion ebbed and exhaustion crept in, she had no issue curling up with him as their breathing evened out while barely conscious, somewhere between awake and asleep. “Just right,” she mumbled into his neck.
At one point, Tim had been terrified to be a father and a husband; he was certain he would only destroy everything the way his own father had, but Lucy gave him the kind of bolstering and love he needed to recognize that he might not be the destructive force he thought he was. That he was worthy of a family and capable of being good to them. She had changed his perspective to the extent that he was the one ready for another kid sooner rather than later. Perhaps the speed in which they were taking their relationship was not ideal to most, but really, it was his partner that made everything feel just right.