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An irk mark appeared on his forehead after he received the unbelievable, unacceptable, and unconsenting news. His hand grabbed hold of the man's collar in front of him with a rage expression.
"Repeat again."
"This is not my fault! God of Fertility is the one who did this, and I am just giving you the news!"
The man with bronze skin and white hair sweat dropped. Hands raised by each of his sides to show his innocence in this matter.
"You f**king kidding me. I do not consent to any of this."
His hand crackled with thunderbolt, making God of Death gulp down.
"I'm sorry. I can't undo it because God of Fertility already created the body and put a soul in it."
"My blood. By using my blood. Are you f**king insane?"
His eyes opened wide, clearly not going to accept this matter just like that.
"I know you are angry, but—"
"Where is she? I need to beat the sh*t out of her so she would know what consent is!"
God of Death was sure that Cale would do that. And he would not stop until he was satisfied.
"Cale, you need to calm down."
"You want me to calm down after what she has done?"
Cale Henituse was not going to back down.
"You tell me where she is, or you are the one who will get the beating. Now choose."
God of Death experienced intense fear at that moment.
"So, you want to tell us is..."
"This is my daughter."
Eruhaben blinked, brushing his face and looking at the red hair again, who was having a serious face.
"Your daughter. Yes. Ha. Okay. I see."
For one thousand years of living, he had met and known something peculiar along his journey, not more peculiar than the human's achievement that was sitting in front of him. But he never thought things would be much more peculiar.
"Let me get it straight, Cale."
Sheritt-nim cleared her throat. Now, Cale's eyes are on her.
"God of Fertility has used a drop of your blood to create a child without your consent. So, that means she is your biological daughter, and now you need to take care of her because she can't be raised in the god's realm, which might endanger her. Also, because she is just a human."
"Yes, Sheritt-nim."
He answered the dragon's lord question without delay, making the older being to have a bewildered expression on her face.
"I got a good beating, though."
Cale Henituse believed in gender equality. A satisfied smirk emerged on his face.
"Ugh uwaa!"
Crap!
Cale looked down at the baby in his arms, who has the same red hair as him. He slowly rocked the child slowly but she is not stopping, making Cale anxious.
'I don't know how to take care of a baby! I need to read some books after this.'
"If you don't mind, young master."
At his side, Ron offered his hands to calm down the baby, and he gave the baby to Ron, who should be more experienced in this field.
Within a minute, the baby was already sleeping again. Cale let out a sigh.
"So, you will take care of her?"
Eruhaben asked slowly, not wanting to wake the baby up again.
"What else should I do? I don't want her to be involved with those basta*ds. And she's my daughter."
He talked like it was a matter of fact. Where is the lie?
"Well, I guess. You need some practice and knowledge then. Taking care of a child is not easy."
"I know."
"It's fine, young master. I'll help you as much as I can to take care of the little lady."
Cale glanced at Ron, who has his benign smile.
'Little lady, huh?'
He brushed away the title.
"How old is she, Cale nya?"
On asked while putting her paws on his tight.
"4 weeks."
"Human, human."
He looked down to see Raon. At his side, Hong was also looking up at him with his tail wagging. He raised an eyebrow at them.
"She would be our youngest then, nya?"
The red-haired noble blinked, looking at the baby in Ron's arms, then back at the children.
"...I guess so?"
Raon, Hong, and On's eyes sparkled.
"I would be a big brother!"
"I would have a younger sister, nya!"
"Uhm uwaaa!!"
"Ops!"
The journey of a father is now on his way.
Do you ever have a thought of reincarnating into a novel?
Yes?
Okay.
Then, have you ever thought of reincarnating into a novel after the main story ended?
No?
Then, you should know it is not entirely as beautiful as you think it would be.
Not with you, as the one being chosen.
Sweats dropped down your forehead and neck. Heavy breathing left your mouth, making you gasp for more air.
The tears prickled at the end of your eyes, threatening to fall down any seconds before you took a deep, desperate breath that left you coughing uncontrollably.
"Sob."
You bit your lip hard to muffle your cry. Tears started to flow down more and more, making it unable to stop anymore. Burying your face in your hands, you tried to calm down your cry by not thinking of the nightmare you just had—no, not a nightmare.
It is your memory of the past.
A month has gone by like this, and you don't know how to stop.
You wished you never had this memory. You wished that you were never born in this world again. You just wished to die.
So why is it you that was being chosen to be reborn in this world?
"Sob."
That night, just like the nights before, you wouldn't be able to sleep.
"Are you okay, [Name]?"
You flinched when someone suddenly touched your shoulder; your eyes opened wide after raising your head to see the person.
Blinking your eyes and covering your expression, you send your father a smile.
"I'm fine, dad. Why? Is something on my face?"
Cale raised an eyebrow. You always wondered how he was still not looking old right now, but well, your father in this life is really an attractive man. Also, you knew because it was due to his ancient power.
Being one of the readers of Lout of the Count's Family's novel makes you know the past events.
Yes, it is history now. That somehow being recorded in a book with the writer named Clopeh Sekka in this world.
You did read it before when you were 13, and you are so enamoured by the stories and journeys your father has had, but after receiving your memory at the age of 15 a month ago, now you could feel the cringe in his writing.
"Really?"
His tone was clearly not trust you. You swallowed, not wanting him to know your inner turmoil.
What if he knew about you? Would he hate you? Would he discard you? Would he not look at you the same again?
Thinking of the possibility of your loving father and family changing, you feel hopeless and fearful.
"Of course. I just slept late last night to settle my assignment."
"If you need help, just ask any of us. Don't push yourself too much to study. It is bad for your health."
He said it casually while eating. You nodded and smiled.
"Of course, I know."
Putting a piece of steak in your mouth, you needed to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from spitting it out again. With difficulty, you swallowed down that piece of meat and drank the water quickly.
"Sorry, I need to go now. I have promised my friend to meet early at the academy."
You quickly got up and bid the rest of your family goodbye. Walking fast to go to the toilet and vomiting out all you have taken for breakfast.
Tears prickled at the corner of your eyes before you washed your mouth and took your bag to begin your day at the academy. You hope you'll be fine today and not have a panic attack if something is triggering you.
Your departure from the dining table was not received very well.
"Is something happening at the academy?"
He asked no one but himself. However, all at the table still hear him clearly enough.
"[Name] didn't tell anything. But I noticed it started a month ago."
Choi Han added. As a swordmaster and someone you always seek every weekend, noticing your abrupt change. You have no longer come to find him to practice sword or hang out on weekends anymore and just stay in your room all day except when it is time to eat.
This also has been bugging everyone's mind.
You have eaten less and less each day. It is noticeable by everyone.
"She's not even finishing half of her breakfast."
Eruhaben's eyes narrowed at your plate. If not, you'd always finish your breakfast while singing praises at Beacrox. After that, you would go around and give kisses on the cheeks of everyone before departing to the academy.
"I can investigate if you want, human."
Raon, the young dragon, who was now 22 years old, was having a serious expression. Hong by his side nodded in agreement. On just silently finishing her breakfast.
"Investigating?"
Raon puffed his chest at Cale's question.
"I need to make sure my dongsaeng is well everywhere. I can't let someone bully her or make her sad! I am great and mighty, so I need to punish whoever has made my little dongsaeng sad!"
Raon said it like it was a matter of fact. Hong nodded.
"True. I don't want it if something bad happens to her. She changes so drastically, nya."
Cale let out a sigh. He was too old for this. He gave a glance at On, and the young lady just nodded in understanding.
'Keep an eye on your brothers.'
'I know, dad.'
"Do whatever you want, but don't get into trouble."
He knew these two were already big and quite mature by age, but they had a tendency to get into trouble just like when they were younger. He just can let On supervise them.
"Do you see anything strange, hyung?"
"Everything looks fine, dongsaeng."
Both of the brothers were invisible while spying on their little sister.
You were walking in the hallway of the academy without knowing of this act of your brothers, looking to the left to see two of your friends together.
"[Name]! Hey, let's get lunch together."
One of your close friends called out to you; you were flinched by her sudden call.
"Oh hey. Sorry, I have a task I need to settle, so you two go first to eat. I'll catch up to you too."
"Really? It has been so long we didn't eat together."
"Is everything okay, [Name]?"
You reassured them with your usual smile.
"I'm fine. Really."
"You're not being bullied by anyone, right? If so, tell us! We'll smack them!"
"Hm! True! They can't bully you!"
You chuckled slowly at their antics.
"Who dares to bully me?"
You raised an eyebrow; if anyone had known your dad closely, they would say both of you have an uncanny resemblance.
Well, you two are blood-related after all.
"That's true. But if you need help, just tell us, okay?"
"We are here for you."
"I'll remember that. See you later."
You turned around and walked away, not wanting to continue the conversation because you were afraid that you would slip.
Walking in the hallway to go somewhere quiet, you were greet by many students along the way. You replied to them with a nod and a polite smile. Due to the reputation of your dad, it is obvious people would sometimes talk about you. His legend (that's what Clopeh said) has been talked about even until now.
Also the truth about you being born without a mother and created solely by the God of Fertility.
You never hated it. You have never thought this attention and people knowing you is a troublesome thing—not until now.
Never in your life did you want to curse someone, a divinity, so badly.
Why have you been chosen out of all people?
You are not someone worthy of this kind of attention and family. You, who have discarded the life you have before without thinking twice.
Why you?
Why not someone else who is more worthy and would appreciate life more than you?
Finding a good place to lie down alone, your eyes were scanning the blue sky. Your reddish-brown eyes filled with tears before it slipped down your face.
"I want to die."
You feel bad thinking like that. But you can't just erase your memory from your past.
Your past has been haunting you and tormenting you nonstop.
Why did you remember? Is it because of your past sin?
Why was someone who has chosen to take her life given a chance and a loving family?
Your family deserved someone better.
Tears sliding down your face without you having any reaction of pain or sadness. A face of someone who feels empty inside. A face of someone who finds no value in living.
You wished you had never been born.
Little did you know, three pairs of eyes have been observing you.
"Human, [Name]'s crying."
"What? Who did it?"
Cale straightened his back and looked at Raon, who just came back from his spying mission. You just came back from the academy a few minutes ago, greeting him like usual.
"No one."
Now, Hong was the one who said that, making Cale frown.
"I've asked her friends. They said—"
"You did?"
"Since when was noona there?"
On ignored both her brothers and continued.
"They said she has been avoiding them and refusing to eat lunch together for various reasons. They tried to ask, and she would always avoid their question. I also asked if there is anyone who picks a fight with her or something, but there is none. So I can't be sure that she changed because someone from the academy has done something towards her, dad."
On ended her long explanation while being stared at by her brothers, who have their mouths agape. Her explanation was making Cale more worried.
"If you think something happened in the house, I also have observed [Name]. And it is normal by now. I noticed she would wake up late at night every day, but I don't know when it started."
On added. Hong and Raon quietly listened, feeling like they had failed their job.
"Nightmare perhaps."
"I think so too. Some nights, [Name] would go out to walk, and I did stumble upon her. I asked her, and she said it was just a normal nightmare. That's why since then I've been looking out for her if her nightmare would repeat again, and it did."
Cale brushed his hair back; listening to On has made him more aware of his daughter's constitution. He noticed your sudden decline of activities with everyone, your lack of appetite, your sunken cheeks, and your lack of enthusiasm.
But what more noticeably is your avoidance when the family was assembling together. You would stay in your room.
There were many more visible changes on you that he and everyone else noticed but never found the cause of it.
He wanted to give you space and time. Maybe you would open up when you are ready, but your change has made them worry.
He should ask you directly when you two are alone. Cale has made up his mind.
Even though it has been 15 years of raising you, he knew he was lacking as a father. But he learned that talking is a way to strengthen a relationship.
He should do that when you are on vacation.
Fidgeting with your fingers, you didn't look up to see your father, who was sitting beside you.
"[Name]."
You flinched, making Cale frown. You have been flinching every time people call for you.
"Would you tell me?"
He used his soft voice, a voice he always uses when trying to cajole you or your siblings.
You licked your lips, picking at your skin without looking at him. You knew he would notice. Scratch that! Everyone must have noticed now.
They are people with formidable strength and perception, after all.
"I will listen if you are ready to talk."
He patted your head slowly, looking at you with fond eyes. The baby he received without preparation 15 years ago has grown up to be a find lady like this. Maybe he felt a bit sentimental.
"If it's not me, you can find Miss Rosalyn. Or Choi Han, Sui, your siblings. You could even go find the emperor. I'm sure he won't mind your company."
Running his fingers through your red hair softly, he made you sway and sad.
"But don't keep everything to yourself. It will make it harder."
Your lips shivered; tears were slowly pooling in your eyes.
"...I'm sorry."
With the obvious sound of crack, your voice trembled.
"... I'm sorry, dad."
"Don't. Nothing is your fault."
"I... Sob... I..."
"Shh, it's okay. It's okay, [Name]."
He pulled you into an embrace. The warmth feeling spreading to your being, making you feel disgusted at yourself who wishes for more.
You were not deserving of this warmth.
"I'm here. I won't go anywhere."
He coaxed you slowly, tapping your back slowly while you were crying.
You wanted to stop, to stop being pathetic. To stop being so weak just to get people's pity. You are someone who does not deserving of all the luxuries you have now.
Because you are not his child.
Pathetic of you to think otherwise. Cale, your dad would be much happier with someone else as his child and not you.
You, who was a sinner.
If you have the courage to tell him the truth, or when he finds out the truth himself, you hope that at that time, you were ready to receive any disappointment.
"You'd always be my daughter, no matter what, [Name]."
His declaration made you cry harder, clinging onto him like when you are still a toddler.
[END]