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Chapter Text

It's snowed. So much for a dry winter, Loki thinks as she wakes up to blinding whiteness outside her window. Loki hears the kids yell downstairs. Something about jelly. There's a crash then Mobius is giving them a lecture. Mobius is a lot sterner than Don ever was, so when he tells them to knock it off, they listen. Most of the time.

Loki sits up and her back pops. She has slept on worse and yet she can't acclimate to this guest room bed. It's honestly better when she can sleep on Mobius. Mobius is warm and soft in all the right ways. She would be there in his bed if she didn't have to worry about acclimating the kids or getting caught.

She was with Mobius last night. The last couple days have been exhausting and they haven't had any alone time. But sometime after midnight Kevin got a nightmare and Loki had to sneak out through the vents. 

There's another crash down stairs then, "Loki!"

Mobius had found the apples.

*******************************

Loki and Mobius have been home for six months. The first thing they did was explain everything to the kids. Mobius's fear of rejection immediately flew away when, after a good cry, the boys asked him to stay.

For the first month Loki would go back and forth from the TVA. Then Mobius invited them to stay in the guest room and they have been there ever since.

Adjusting to human life is not as easy as it looks even with B giving them unlimited money. Kids are hard and cost a lot. Sports. Parent teacher conferences where Loki babysits. Tests. Then there's balancing TVA life and watching the tree, not using magic in public and therapy. 

Loki loathes therapy.

They always come out crying or angry. They feel like they're going nowhere and repeating the same things. They keep going because Mobius is going. And Mobius needs to go. The longer they are with him the more they understand how He Who Remains actions and their absence messed with Mobius.

Afterward, the two always go to another timeline. It varies on how they are feeling that day but they leave, catch their breath and come back. They make plans to do the homework the therapist gives them and wait for the next session. 

Sessions have lessened this month due to holidays. Which brings Loki to their next problem. 

Christmas and Jul. For Mobius's sake they moved Jul up so the last day coincides with Christmas. Mobius of course didn't agree with moving it, insisting they do it the normal way up until Loki made him celebrate the first day five days ago. In lieu to that, Mobius said that they need to go to Scotland or Asgard or Norway to celebrate to which Loki said no again. They were all staying home and that's final.

Loki loves Mobius but the man's need to make things comfortable for them here get in the way sometimes. It's kind of him but doesn't help Loki adjust.

So they started celebrating Jul five days ago with mother's night. While Mobius was out with Kevin and Sean at an ice rink, Sylvie and Thor came over and they baked Frigga's old fruit and fig treat. Thor told Loki about his last conversation with their mother. Sylvie asked questions since she could barely remember her. They baked for hours. When Mobius got home, they ate the sweets and Thor and Loki told stories about Frigga and the boys told them about theirs. Then finally they lit a candle for frigga and put it in the window. Sylvie, Thor and Loki spent hours watching it flicker.

At the end of the night, when Thor and Sylvie went back to their timelines, Loki spent the night in Mobius's arms crying.

The second day they celebrated winter solstice, even though it was still the ways off. Loki kept all the lights in the house on all day and gathered plants from the store for decorating. While the boys were at school they went to Old Asgard and retrieved a yule log that they have placed in the fireplace and have burned every day since. They spent late into the night weaving a wreath with ferns that now hangs on their door.

On the third day, Loki explain the symbolism of mistletoe: fertility, peace, and a ward from evil spirits amongst them. And protection from lightning which they got a good laugh out of when Thor came over and the boys wouldn't let him in the house.

And of course that night, after Mobius gave them a lecture on 'fertility and mistletoe' and how 'we can't afford having a baby right now so if we have one there will be no more mistletoe ever,' they kiss the night away...or until Sean got up for a cup of water.

The fourth day Loki told the story of deer mother which had even Mobius captivated. They had a feast to celebrate the life in the dark, meaning they ate by candlelight and lived in candlelight all day. Before they went home from school, they went to a park and planted a tree which didn't bode well with either Loki or Mobius but for the sake of the planet they made it through.

Yesterday Loki explained to the boys his version of Santa where Shamans visit the spirit world. They would gather mushrooms to give to shamans so they could return with gifts. The boys wanted to gather mushrooms after that but due to Mobius's strict rule of no tempad unless it's to Sylvie's or Thor's, they took to the store and bought some. They were already dried out so Kevin, Sean and Loki went out and delivered them as gifts to their friends including a run to see Sylvie and Love while Mobius took care of one of Loki's variants.

Today is the sixth day. Which happens to coincide with Mobius wanting to put the tree up. They agreed that a Christmas tree in the family room is prudent and then one for Jul above the family room table.

That's where the apples and paper flowers came in.

*******************************

Loki's halfway down the stairs when the doorbell rings. She is confused with hearing the doorbell and her stomach asking for the toast and eggs she smells. "Moby?"

"Lokes, could you get the door."

"What time is it?"

It doesn't matter cause by now she's at the door and opening it to a woman who is wearing less clothes than she is and considering Loki's just wearing a sports bra and booty shorts, that's saying something.

The woman is tapping away at her phone, chewing gum. "Don, honey,"she looks up and pauses, eyes going big. 

They take each other in before the woman lowers her phone and sneers, "Who are you?"

Loki wrinkles her nose, "Who are you?"

The woman eyes her for a moment before saying, "Are you his new whore or something? Is he that lonely? How much did he pay you?"

Loki has never wanted to slap a woman so hard in her life.

She feels her face go red and with a burst of green, Loki is back in his male form, towering over her. He bends over to her height and hisses, "Excuse me. I don't appreciate you talking about my partner in such a manner. Please refrain from ever doing so again."

The woman stumbles back in surprise. She is in shock. Loki smirks. Good. 

"Loki, who is-" Mobius arrives behind him and stops. He's in shorts and a t-shirt. Loki snaps his fingers and Mobius in a suit. He jumps at Loki's magic but keeps his eyes on the woman. "Denise. I thought you said you wouldn't be here until the twenty-first."

She pushes past Loki when Mobius says her name. "Well, I lied." Then she goes the rest of the way in and into the kitchen where she gets the attention of the boys who scream, "Mom!"

"That's your ex-wife," Loki hisses.

"You already know that," Mobius hisses back.

"I never looked at her. I blocked her out."

Mobius roles his eyes and they go to the kitchen together. There Kevin is wrapped around the woman while Sean stands off to the side. Mobius crosses his arms, anger ticking its way out to his face. " School isn't out until tomorrow."

Denise turns, "And I say they are out today." Kevin cheers and Sean smiles. "Who wants to go get ice cream?"

Loki looks at Mobius to see what he will do, but he looks tired. "They're not packed yet."

Denise shoves the boys out to get their coats, completely ignoring Loki as she whispers in Mobius's ear, "Don't worry about it, hun. Maybe I'll stay the night."

Loki's chest burns. How dare she. Mobius steps away from her. She laughs and stalks down the hall calling, "Have fun with your lap dog."

That's it. Loki lunges to go after her, but Mobius catches him. "You saved the timelines for everyone, Lokes, including her."

"Doesn't mean I have to like them," Loki snarls. The door opens and then she and the kids are gone. Mobius thumps his head against the wall, sighing. "I don't want her here for Jul," Loki states.

"I know," Mobius sighs. "Neither do I."

******************************

After a shower, Mobius insists that Loki go about his day as if Denise hadn't dropped by. They would decorate the tree later that evening once they knew what was going on.

Loki could tell Mobius was stressed but he also knew if he stuck around Mobius would get angst ridden that Loki didn't do his errands because the 'old man couldn't take more stress than usual' so he put on a jacket for show and left.

Loki likes to walk around the neighborhood. No one knows him here. The Loki of this world died young. He never got the chance to invade Earth. Of course it also means Thor died young because they were attacked by the bilsnite together.

He was contacted by Hiemdall at one point and asked about his coming to this world. He doesn't believe he's ever had such an awkward conversation with Heimdall in his life. But the old man just noded and told him to stay under the radar. There's no need to open old wounds to the king and queen.

So, Loki wanders, free as a bird from street to street. He generally tries to go to the opposite side of the road but after this morning's drama he forgets about doing so, and when a voice yells for him, he flinches and groans.

"Loki! Hey!"

Ben. Mobius's old friend from grade school. Lives four houses down and has a couple of kids of his own but spends the majority of his time at Mobius's house for what reason Loki couldn't even fathom except that he likes to piss Loki off.

Loki turns, "Hello, Ben."

Not surprisingly Ben is in sweats and a black thermal top with only socks on his feet as the sun melts the snow. This man is going to get pneumonia. 

"How's your morning," Ben asks, hopping from foot to foot. 

"It's morning, Ben. Take a guess."

The man shrugs. "I saw Denise's car come by. Did she get the kids early?"

Loki groans. He dislikes many things regarding Ben but the worst of it is he knows every second of their business. Mobius had explained everything to the kids but who was there with the kids when they showed up? Ben. So Ben knows about the TVA, who Mobius is, who Sylvie is, Loki, Thor, everything, and worst of all every second of their business.

Loki repeats his soothing mantra from therapy and says, "No. They aren't packed and she might stay the night."

Bens face sours. "I'll come over if you guys want-"

"No, no!" Loki quickly interjects. The last thing he wants is Ben interrupting what's hopefully to be a peaceful evening. "Uh, I mean, thank you, Benjamin, but I have it under control."

Ben doesn't look convinced. "Okay... I'll call Don though and see if he needs anything."

"Mobius," Loki says flatly.

"Mobius. Yeah. One day I'll get that."

As Ben takes off for his house, waving bye, Loki says under his breath, "I highly doubt it."

Denise's presence has got him off kilter. A walk is not going to take care of his energy. To Sylvie it is.

***************************

Loki hates trying to find Sylvie. Now that he's out of the tree it's been harder to locate her and now Mobius with his weird attachment to the tree knows exactly where she is at all times.

So after Loki kicks some snow on to Ben's lawn (who does he think he is? Loki is Mobius's lover. Ben has one, already, so leave them alone!) he calls Mobius and he tells him that Sylvie is in Lyle's store.

So Loki time skips on over there and scares the absolute crap out of Lyle. He doesn't really know how much Lyle knows except that they can do magic. So odds are he thinks Loki magiced himself there and the man wouldn't be wrong.

But here Loki is at the entrance to the shop with Lyle splayed out on the floor, his stool askew and coffee all over his shirt. "Sorry," Loki says, "where's Sylvie?"

Loki hears her curse before Lyle can answer and then she's shoving by Loki and helping Lyle up. "Can't you just walk through the door like a normal person."

"It was urgent," Loki says before turning back to Lyle, " I really am sorry. Let me." Loki snaps his fingers and the coffee disappears from Lyle's shirt.

Lyle still looks unsteady, but he replies, "Oh, no problem, man. I'll get used to it one day."

No, he won't. But neither Loki nor Sylvie say that. Sylvie makes sure he's okay one more time before leading Loki to the couches where he can see she's been browsing music. She's in a T-shirt and shorts, the warm weather here giving her a tan.

"What's up?" She asks.

Loki shakes his head. "I met Mobius's ex-wife."

Sylvie itches her nose. "Gross. She the nightmare you always thought she was?"

Loki will give Sylvie this. Not all Denise's are mean. Some make mistakes that lead to divorce. Others die. Others are just looking for other things. Loki may have never looked at her but he knows of her.

He shrugs. "I think she's incredibly rude but the boys love her so I stand her."

Sylvie smiles, "That was evident when the boys described her."

"Kevin described her," Loki corrects, "Sean told a few stories but Kevin did most of the talking."

"So you met her. Did it ruin your day or something?"

Loki leans back and sighs, eyes on the roof. "She wasn't supposed to come for another two days and now she might stay over and I," Loki covers his face, "I feel like it's going to ruin everything."

"Ruin what?"

"Christmas!" Loki says frustrated. "Jul! The holidays! I want this to be the best Christmas we've ever had. All of us. The kids are still adjusting, Mobius doesn't remember the holiday, I don't celebrate like them," Loki takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I want this to be memorable. For all of them."

Sylvie makes a face and Loki knows what's coming. "Everything can't be perfect all of the time. I know we both know that."

"Yes, but-"

"There isn't a but to this. The harder you try to make this perfect the worse it's going to be."

Loki rolls his eyes and slumps into the couch. He feels Sylvie's eyes on him for a long moment before she says, "The last couple days have been good haven't they?"

Loki shrugs. "I wouldn't say they were terrible. It wasn't as if the roof caved in or the tree exploded. Not that it's up yet, but..."

Sylvie claps the table. "Then there you go. The world hasn't ended. Enjoy this time, Loki. No Christmas or Jul will be like this one ever again."

Loki glares at her. She's not getting it but how could she. She's celebrated a couple Christmases with different people over the past eon. She doesn't have to worry about being a burden to her family because of her beliefs or making one wrong move with the kids and getting kicked out. Or making a nightmare of Christmas so the kids hate her and her partner second guess why he stayed in this relationship in the first place. 

Loki can't be another Odin. He can't be another Denise. 

I can't be another me.

Sylvie must see he's holding something back because she reaches for him but he stands up quickly. "Thank you, Sylvie, I must be on my way."

"Loki-"

"You'll be coming Christmas Eve, correct?"

Her face drops. He hurt her. What's new. When don't they hurt each other in some fashion. "If you still want me."

Loki nods, "We'll have the basement set up for you."

Then he marches past her to the door. He waves at Lyle who waves back from where he has made himself another cup of coffee.

Outside, the sun shines down, making Loki sweat in his thin jacket.

He remembers Mobius and his first conversation about his heritage. It was back in the TVA before they found Sylvie. Mobius was curious. Loki was defensive. Mobius had understood that and stayed clear of Odin or the stories told to Loki about monsters that eat children. He just wanted to understand Loki's biology. He later realized it was because his cell / room was too hot and he couldn't change the temperature. Mobius used that information to convince Ravonna to cool his room down. Loki was grateful but knew he would want more information someday.

Loki looks at his hand. Maybe it's time to bring it up to him again...

*************************

Loki stomps his shoes as he comes in the door. It's late afternoon now. Either Denise took the kids or they are just getting back from school. As he shakes his shoes off, he yells, "Mobius?"

No reply. Loki looks out the window. Mobius's car is in the driveway. Did he go over to Ben's? Something hot and angry fills his chest. He pushes it down. "Moby?"

Loki walks down the hall and peers into the family room. There he is. In jeans and a plain white T-shirt staring at a blank tv. Surrounding him are popcorn bags, chip bags, chocolate bars and a piece of pie.

Loki's stomach drops. "Is she staying?" 

Mobius violently grabs some of the leftover chocolate and stuffs it in his mouth. "No. Worse. She's not taking the kids."

Loki goes cold. "Wait ... but it's her Christmas. She's supposed to have them."

Mobius waves him off. "No, no. She's going on a 'business trip' with her fiance and can't take the boys. Can't pay child support if you can't work and all that crap."

Mobius takes a big bite of pie. Loki feels sick. He never thought she wouldn't take the boys. They're her sons. Why wouldn't she want to see them? He swallows hard. "Where are the boys?"

Mobius gestures up the stairs. "Kevin's upstairs hiding in his room. He won't talk to me. Thinks it's my fault. I don't know where Sean is. He disappeared when Denise drop them off."

Loki doesn't know what to say or do. He knows what it's like for a parent not to want him but that doesn't mean he knows how to help others deal with it.

Mobius reaches for a Josta he must have got on his recent trip and Loki sees his eyes start to spark the colors of Yggdrasil.

"Your eyes are starting to glow," Loki says weakly.

Mobius gives him a stink eye but before he can lecture Loki his phone rings. He fumbles for it, stuck in the back pocket of his jeans, before answering the phone with, "I believe we discussed everything that needs to be discussed."

Denise. She says something harsh and Mobius goes red. Loki gives Mobius this though. He's only seen him get truly angry a handful of times and this is not one of those times. He handles this beautifully even though a vein is starting to pop out of his head.

Loki slips out of the room to the kitchen. He needs something healthy or Yggdrasil is going to put Mobius in a food coma. Loki remembers him stuffing the apples in the pantry. He opens the door and there he is. A little boy with floppy hair and a long sleeve shirt with Captain America on it.

They eye each other for a moment before Sean says, "Don't tell Dad."

Loki looks behind himself to make sure Mobius isn't pacing the halls before entering the pantry and closing the door behind him. Sean and him sit in the dark, quiet as mice. Loki needs to address this. He understands the need to hide from reality. He had his own hiding places on Asgard. He says, "I'm sorry about your mother-"

"It's fine," Sean says too quickly, "It's not the first time she's done this."

Loki's anger makes an appearance, boiling under his skin. "No, Sean. It's not fine."

The boy doesn't say anything. Not for a long time. Loki knows Sean doesn't completely trust him. He suspects it has something to do with his parents. But Loki never guessed Sean's next couple sentences would tell him the why. "Is Dad talking to Mom?"

"Yes," Loki murmurs.

"I hate her sometimes," Sean says, "she's not nice to Dad. They'd have horrible arguments before the divorce. But Dad loved her. I..." Sean takes a deep breath, "I miss my dad. But I'm glad... this Dad is not like mine. He stands up for himself. He's not still in love with her."

Loki shakes his head. "Don was... is... a brave man. Don't underestimate your father, Sean."

"I'm not," Sean says, "I just think he has bad taste in people sometimes."

Ah. There it is. It's not that he doesn't like Loki. It's that he thinks Loki will turn out like his mom. In all honesty, Loki worries about that sometimes, too. He leans forward as best he can in the cramped space and says, "How about I make a deal with you?"

Sean hesitates, "Okay..."

"If I ever, and I mean ever, do anything that you don't like to your dad you have permission to tell me off. Do what you need to protect your dad. Okay?"

There's a long pause. Then a small, "Okay."

Okay. It feels strange that now Loki has to be accountable to a ten year old but without accountability he could hurt Mobius. That's the last thing he wants.

"How's your brother?" Loki asks.

"Not good. He's been looking forward to being with Mom for months."

Loki curses inwardly. She really is the worst. He thinks of the Christmas tree that they were supposed to decorate. Outside, he hears Mobius pass the door, still talking. The door opens and shuts. He's gone.

Loki looks at Sean. "Do you think doing the tree will help cheer him up?"

***************************

While Sean retrieves Kevin, Loki makes his way to the garage where they stored the tree and the fir branch. The two are leaning against the jet skis getting needles on the seat. Loki grabs the branch and sticks it in the doorway to the kitchen before grabbing the tree and wrestling it into the family room, knocking plastic santas, cups, plates and elf on the shelf over as he goes. He'll fix that later.

In the family room, Sean and Kevin sit on the couch watching him drag it in, leaving pine needles in his wake. "So," Loki says, "Where does your father keep ornaments and a stand?"

Sean gets the stand while Kevin takes Loki to the attic to get two boxes of old fashioned ornaments. The attic is cold and Loki almost feels cozy here. Kevin grabs the first box, tears streaks on his face.

"Kevin," Loki says gently, nervously, "Would you like to talk about your mother?"

Maybe it was too blunt. Kevin kicks an old box of photo albums. "No."

"Your father always tells me it's better to talk about it than hold it in and explode later." Not that he follows his own advice...

Kevin glares at Loki, "You're not my mom or my dad." And then he's down the attic stairs in an instant. Loki groans. So much for trying to help.

As Loki walks down the attic stairs then the ground level, he thinks about Mobius. Loki was worse than Kevin and Sean. He threw a chair at his head. He tried to kill him twice. Insulted him. The kids haven't done that to Loki. But still he feels like crap because he can't help them right. Did Mobius feel this way? He has expressed remorse for what he said about Loki's mother. But Loki doesn't know the level of guilt Mobius felt. Did he feel disgusted with himself after all that? Did he feel like he could do better?

Loki swallows hard. What he does know is Mobius never gave up on him. He never gave up believing he could help Loki. Loki will never give up on those kids. He just needs to not give up on himself.

In the family room, the three get started on putting the tree up. It's already dark outside and that gets Loki a little nervous that Mobius hasn't returned yet but he moves on to helping Kevin and Sean put tinsel on the tree anyway. Kevin finally smiles as Sean throws tinsel at him then he throws it at Loki and thirty minutes later tinsel covers the room instead of the tree.But it was fun and that's all that matters. They carefully clean up the tinsel, careful not to drop any on the mantle into the fire where the yule log burns peacefully. Once the tree is beautified Loki turns to the ornaments and opens the lid only to have Kevin slap it back down. "No. We do the star first. You know cause of Bethlehem."

No, Loki doesn't really know but he's not going to argue with a kid who is still liable to bursting into tears. "Okay," he says, "star first."

Kevin and Sean get into the other ornament box and pull out a yellow fringed star with multicolored lights. "Can I put it on?" Sean asks.

Loki shrugs, "I don't see why not." He gets down on his knees and Sean gets on his back, star in hand. The tree is barely taller than Loki so Sean puts the star on easily. It glitters in the fluorescent lights. That's when Loki realizes they haven't put the Christmas lights on yet.

As Loki kneels to put Sean down, he asks, "Where are the Christmas lights?" But then the tree starts tipping. Loki frowns. "Why is it...?" Then he sees a loose screw in the tree stand. He barely is registering an argument behind him as he reaches to steady the tree and tighten the screw.

Then Sean is suddenly ramming into Loki. No doubt a shove from Kevin. Loki rams head first into the tree. The stand hits him in the face as the tree comes tumbling down.

"Ow," Loki groans, struggling to untangle himself from the tree, a cut under his eye and scratches on his face.

Kevin screams! Loki whips around and the amount of horror that fills him is undescribable. The star is sparking as fire licks up it's corners. The top of the trees in the fireplace, on fire and crawling downward, lighting the carpet of the family room on fire. 

Loki shoves Kevin back, who is captivated by the fire, and into Sean who holds him back from going near it. The fire alarm starts as Loki grabs a blanket and tries to beat it out. Instead the flames travel further down the tree and further into the room.

Loki curses. This is not happening! Mobius's house is not on fire. But as the flames get bigger and Loki's sweat gets heavier he realizes he has no choice. "Don't worry. I know what to do," he tells the boys.

Both boys scream now as Loki turns blue and starts hitting the fire with ice, draining his magic far quicker than he likes. "Come on, come on," he hisses.

Slowly the fire goes out leaving the tree half burnt, the star obliterated and the carpet black and soggy. The alarms are still going off. Loki coughs at the leftover smoke. 

"See, boys," Loki says, "I knew what to-"

Loki turns and pales. Mobius stands in the doorway, staring at the holy mess that is his family room. Kevin and Sean hide behind him, staring at Loki with wide eyes.

Loki quickly shun's his Jotunn form, turning back and struggling to say, "Mobius, I-"

"Boys," Mobius says, cutting Loki off, "get some towels. Clean up the ice. I'm going to turn off the alarms."

Then he's gone. They all are, leaving Loki alone in the wreckage. 

****************************

"I am really sorry, Mobius."

"You've said that ten times now, Loki."

"And yet you still haven't acknowledged it."

Mobius sighs, chin dropping to his chest. The knife in his hand drops through the potato almost cutting the edge of his thumb. Loki flinches at that and moves toward him. "Mobius-"

He points the dirty knife at Loki, "Stay on that table and get that bush up."

"It's a fir bough."

"Get it up!" Mobius growls before throwing the potatoes in the water and turning on the burner. Mashed potatoes. Kevin's favorite.

Loki sighs and turns back to tying the fir bough to the chandelier. It's a hefty branch but he believes it will hold well with the chandelier wired into the ceiling. When it's finally tied onto the center of the small chandelier he leans over to grab the apples and paper flowers.

And there he is at the age edge of the table, arms crossed. They stare at each other for a long moment. Loki debates standing but instead kneels on the table, sitting on his feet, never leaving Mobius's gaze.

"I. Am. Sorry." Loki repeats gently, slowly, "I was irresponsible and as a result almost sent our-your! - house up in flames. I'm sorry."

Mobius sighs. He leans against the edge of the table and says, "Thank you. For being willing to take accountability. There isn't a need for an apology. But I appreciate it nonetheless."

Loki is confused. "Then why didn't you just say that?"

The bell goes off on the oven. Mobius looks at it then goes to it, "Because I didn't want to say something I didn't mean. It hasn't been a good day, Loki, and I don't want you to think it's your fault when it's not."

Loki swallows hard. This is about Denise, not him. But he still feels like he's destroyed something today. "Your tree is gone. And your star."

Mobius shrugs. "We've got your branch. It's better than nothing." He pulls the pan of chicken out and groans. Loki smells it before he sees it. The chicken is burnt.

Mobius chucks it on the oven and comes to Loki again, sitting in the chair. "I'm bad at this."

Loki frowns, "At what?"

Mobius waves over the room. "This. Being a Dad. Being what Kevin and Sean need." Mobius rubs his eyes. "This is hard, Lokes. I...I can't keep doing this."

Loki reaches for his hand. "Mobius, you are doing amazing. Nobody, me, the kids, anyone expects you to be the best dad in the multiverse. I mean look at Odin. He was a king and he banished all three of his children, had two of them commit mass genocide and one refused the throne."

Mobius chuckles, "Yeah, Odin is a piece of work."

Loki squeezes his hand, remembering how he threw Mjolnir at Odin in one of the world's where another him needed saving. Loki's worthy partner throwing a magical hammer at a king. He is something special.

Loki stands and tugs on Mobius's hand. "Come. Help me put the apples and paper flowers on."

Mobius looks back at the burnt chicken and boiling potatoes. He nods slowly. "Okay. But if I fall off this table and break my neck-"

"Don't be absurd," Loki says, "neither I or Yggdrasil will let you."

Mobius climbs up, laughing, "No, I don't suppose you will."

***********************

"What variant did you save yesterday, Dad?"

Sean is trying to make conversation. Kevin is not eating anything, not even his mashed potatoes which is making Mobius nervous. Loki can tell by the way he's tapping his fork. When Mobius doesn't answer Sean immediately, Loki clears his throat.

Mobius jerks and takes a deep breath. "A teen variant," he says, "got stuck on Earth in the '70s. Odin didn't know he was missing. If I hadn't come, he would have been forgotten and caused substantial damage to Earth," He looks at loki, "he had a little help from your dad, Don."

Loki smiles. Of course he did. Where he is there is also a Don.

"What was Dad like?" Kevin asks suddenly, "you're variant."

Mobius looks at him for a moment before taking a sip of water and replying with, "He's a hippie, living in California with long hair and bare feet." He winks at Loki. "Tried to make you one, you know."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Mobius's eyes soften. "Not at all."

Loki relaxes, feeling relieved. He is really forgiven. All will be well.

But Kevin is frowning. "What is it, Kevin?" Loki asks.

Kevin mushes his potatoes with his fork and then says, "What's a hippie?"

Mobius frowns. Loki snorts. "Well, they are-"

There's a loud pop then screams as Loki's fir bough, lands on the table, sending glasses, apples and pine needles everywhere. Mobius stares in shock. Slowly the shock wears off and leads to laughing. 

Loki blushes, "Oops..."

Chapter Text

Loki ends up sleeping in later than he normally does, which is strange considering how loud the boys are in the morning. Especially on a school morning. The last school day of the year. How he slept through the boys whooping and hollering is beyond him.

It's 11:00 when he gets up and gets dressed. He's slow-moving going downstairs where he sees the pine needles all over the floor. In the kitchen the burnt tree is by the door along with a garbage bag.

A note is on the table where the bough still sits from last night. Loki can't help but be happy that Mobius didn't throw it out with the tree.

Loki grabs the note and reads it over.

Loki,

Sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up. Casey sent me a case. A real doozy if I say so myself. Anyway, have a good day. After I get back we can go put the lights up outside and figure out where to put the bough. If I'm not back by 3:00, the bus will bring the kids home. Just call the school and let them know.

I love you.

P.s. please take the garbage out. It's garbage day ;) 

Garbage day. Loki looks at the time again. 11:20. He's still too out of it to process if he's late or not. So with foggy brain, Loki grabs the tree and the bag, kicks the door open and goes to the garbage can by the garage.

Once the bag is stuffed in the can and the tree is by it, Loki drags them both to the curb where the truck should get it. He squints down the street. Is Ben's can out?... Yes... Yep... Loki can see it from here. Ben's not dumb. He wouldn't leave the can out.

Then Loki realizes what he's thinking and second guesses it.

As Loki turns back to the house, maybe to sleep in another hour before cleaning, there's a loud honk. Loki turns and wakes right up when he sees Thor pulling up in a mini cooper with Love in the backseat.

He stops by Loki and rolls down the window, "Hello, brother. Did you just get out of bed?"

Loki ignores the pleasantry. "What are you doing here?"

"You invited us for Christmas, didn't you?"

"Yes, in four days."

"Close enough."

"Not really."

Thor eyes Loki for a moment, even going as far as to look out the window for a better look. "Nice shirt. Where are your shoes?"

Loki crosses his arms, covering the low-key on his shirt and hisses, "Don't change the subject."

Thor throws open his arms. "It's my feast day!"

Loki frowns, counting in his head until day seven of Jul comes to clearance. His eyes widen. It's the feast of Thor. Then he realizes something else. "Have you been counting?"

Thor grins, "Merry Christmas, Loki."

Love throws a ball at Thor's head but Loki is to in shock to laugh.

***********************

Despite Thor's surprise drop in, Loki can't help but be happy that his brother and Love put in some hard work and got the house cleaned up. Loki cleans the kitchen while Thor the family room and Love the hallway. Loki can hear the pine needles getting sucked up in the vacuum from his place on the table.

The only thing they had to puzzle on was how to fix the burnt and soggy carpet. He, Love and Thor stare until Loki decides that he can just cover it up with magic and proceeds to do so. Thor proceeded to give him a lecture on how to not lie your partner about making mistakes to which Loki gave Thor the lecture of staying out of his and Mobius's business.

The only reason it didn't escalate is cause Love wanted a nap indicating it was time to give them their rooms. There is one plus to Thor coming in earlier than expected. With a surplus of guests coming, sleeping arrangements will have to be... shuffled. That means Thor and Love will have the guest room which means Loki will be displaced.

He supposes the moral thing would be to sleep on the couch. But Mobius's bed is big and he gets lonely. So why not ease Mobius's wounds and keep his place warm. Just for a few days.

Loki is so lost in his daydream of sleeping with Mobius, whether that leads anywhere or not that he doesn't notice the time until that old cuckoo clock that Don's dad gave them goes off and Loki turns to look.

He pales. 3:05. And Mobius isn't home yet. And he hasn't called the bus.

He curses. Thor turns from where he's watching Love sleep. "What?"

Loki wildly turns from the clock to the window. Maybe they haven't got the kids on the bus yet. He could call? But what if he is late? Could he time slip? No, Mobius would sense it somewhere in the tree and come running. He could steal Thor's car that came from who knows where but if Mobius finds out he picked the kids up without a license he'll still be in big trouble-

"Loki!"

He turns to Thor. His heart is beating too fast. How could he have done this? How stupid is he?

Thor takes his shoulders and whispers the best he can, "What do you need?"

*******************************

"You better not drive this way when the kids are in the car," Loki hisses as Thor hits a speed bump at what seems to be Mach 90.

"Do you want to get there or not," Thor growls back.

"I want to get there alive, thank you."

Thor hits another speed bump and Loki's head hits the ceiling. He's starting to suspect Thor doesn't have his license either as they drift into the intersection.

Loki looks at the clock on the dashboard and groans. 3:23. He's so dead.

"Calm down, Loki," Thor says, "we're alright."

"Alright," Loki laughs hysterically, "he's going to hate me. Mobius is going to hate me. How do I forget my kids?"

Because he's a self-centered, want things his way man. That's how. 

"You're kids?" Thor says. Loki glares at the stupid smirk on his face. 

"Don't. I'm not in the mood for your teasing."

"I'm not teasing-"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm- kids!"

Thor slams on the brakes. Loki's head wacks and bounces off the dashboard, leaving a dent in it and a no doubt a bruise on Loki. This car will be totaled by the time his brother is done with it.

"Damn you to Helheim, Thor," Loki growls then notices who is outside the window. Kevin is at his window, face pressed against it with a manic grin staring at Thor. Sean is behind him...glaring at Loki.

Thor rolls down the window. "Boys-" Loki starts but doesn't get very far. 

"Kevin, Sean!" Thor shouts very loudly, "My favorite nephews. How are you?"

Loki punches him in the shoulder. Hard. 

"Hi, Thor," Kevin says, "I thought we were going to miss you."

Thor opens his arms wide like he did this morning. "Surprise!"

"Yes!" Kevin screams, scrambling into the back seat while Sean slowly gets in and shuts the back door.

"Where's Dad?" He asks.

Loki clears his throat. "On a mission." Don't lie. Don't lie. "He wanted us to pick you up." He lied. 

Sean is still glaring. He doubts Loki. He has more of his father in him than Loki realize. But Thor's pulling out, two blocks from the school, by the way, with Kevin yapping his ear off. Sean says nothing else so they let it drop.

For now. 

*************************

At home, Kevin walks Thor to the house, non-stop talking about Mjolnir and Stormbreaker that they mercifully left in the trunk of the car. Sean is still glaring at Loki as he unlocks the door...and jerks back in shock.

There is Mobius, sitting in the hallway with Love who points at us and says, "See. I told you they would be back."

Mobius, his arms crossed... again... looks at the four of them and says, "Where have you been?"

His voice is not kind. "Well," Loki says, "we-"

Sean breaks in, pushing past Loki to the kitchen, "He forgot us."

"No, I didn't," Loki hisses before looking in Mobius's eyes and paling. He hasn't been able to lie to him. Not since he watched him get pruned. Then, weakly, Loki says, "Yes...I did."

Thor steps up and says much to Loki's surprise, "It's my fault, Mobius. Don't be mad at him for this. I dropped in this morning unannounced and we wanted to fix the house for you and while doing so lost track of time."

"And your daughter," Mobius says unamused.

"Niece," Love corrects.

"Niece," Mobius repeats. No, he's not mad at Loki. He's mad at both of them. 

Thor is starting to realize that and turns to Love, "Love, I told you to meet us in the car-"

Love frowns, "No, you didn't. I fell asleep and when I woke up, Uncle Mobius was here. I didn't know where you went." Then to Mobius. "But I knew they would be back soon."

Mobius underhand passes a piece of candy to her. "Sooner than I thought. You won."

She giggles and breaks open the smarties. "You made a bet?" Loki asks. 

Mobius glares and Loki takes a step back. "Boys," Mobius calls. Sean calls back from the kitchen and Kevin stretches his head around Thor. "Get a snack then meet us outside. Let's get those lights up before it gets dark."

*************************

Loki can't tell what is worse. Knowing Mobius is pissed at him but won't say anything or knowing he's pissed at him and won't look at him. 

Loki partially wants to blame this on Mobius. It's the old Loki who never lived to take accountability talking. If he hadn't pushed and Sylvie hadn't pushed Thor wouldn't be here. But then Loki would still be missing him. There would still be a huge Thor shaped hole in his life that couldn't be filled.

Thor and Loki's first several meetings were harsh. There was a lot to catch up on and a lot to argue about. Somehow they eventually worked everything out. They said their peace and moved on forgetting and bothering each other like they always had. Loki wouldn't have it any other way.

Save Loki's relationship with Mobius. At first, the idea of Loki settling in Cleveland, Ohio with a part-time jet ski salesman and two kids unnerved Thor and he spent a week there interrogating Mobius to know if Loki had brainwashed him. Norns bless Mobius he was patient through it. Answered every question, challenged every threat, or erased Thor's worries with some Asgardian ritual that probably took him forever to learn.

Either way, Mobius won Thor over and they have been doing all right...until now.

Thor launches the plastic Santa onto the roof again only Loki catches it this time rather than watching Thor walk around the house twenty more times trying to get it up there.

Loki was charged with stapling the lights to the roof while Kevin, Sean, Love and Mobius stay on the ground where they set up a nativity, polar bears, blow up animals and grinches.

Loki watches Mobius as he staples in the last of this string before going to the other. Mobius is tense, and Loki knows he can feel Loki watching but he won't look at him. Will they talk about this tonight? Loki has come up with excuses but he knows that won't work. It never works with Mobius.

But Thor isn't wrong. He's been flustered all day. That doesn't mean he should have forgotten the kids though which also puts him at odds with Sean who keeps glaring at him.

Thor practically shakes the house as he climbs up the ladder and onto the roof where Loki is with the Santa. "Thank you," he says laughing as he takes it and starts zip tying it to the lights. When Loki doesn't say anything, Thor says, "Oh, come on, you're not still mad, are you?"

Loki clutches the stapler harder. "Yes, I am. You couldn't wait until Christmas Eve like I asked you to."

"Come on, Loki."

"No. Mobius is furious with me now and I have no idea how I'm going to fix this."

"It's not that bad. Parents forget their kids all the time."

Loki almost staples his finger as he starts the next strand. "You're not hearing me," he hisses, "Mobius trusted me to take care of the kids and I screwed up. He's not happy with me. I broke his trust with Kevin and Sean. I broke the kids trust. And now this is just going to go downhill and-"

"Whoa, Loki," Thor says reaching out to him, "Mobius isn't going to leave you for one simple mistake."

Loki slaps his hand away. "This isn't simple, Thor! I showed I can't be trusted with the kids. Now Mobius has a better idea of how this could go and he will wise up and I'll be alone again!"

Loki's breathing heavy now. He didn't mean to say all that. His silver tongue really has loosened up with this man.

The sky is turning pink. There's a squeal below. Kevin throws a snowball at Sean who in turn tackles Mobius and Love tackles Kevin. It's taken a long time for Mobius to get back his childlike playfulness. He used to not be able to play with the kids. He's still awkward at it even now has he tries to gather a snowball and gets one to the face instead. But he can be playful. Loki has seen it in the rare moments where he is not tense and not trying to be the perfect dad.

Mobius is stressed, too. 

"Loki," Thor says in what he supposes is a gentle and quiet tone, "Mobius cares about you deeply. He isn't going to abandon you for this."

"I've been abandoned for less," Loki hisses before going back to stapling.

That seems to irk Thor. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Loki has to bite his tongue hard. Don't be petty, Loki. You are better than that. All this is behind you. Don't bring up old pains. "Nothing," he says, "It's nothing."

"No, no," Thor presses much to Loki's aggrievement, "what was that supposed to mean, Loki?"

Loki takes a deep breath before turning to Thor and growling, "I have always been alone, Thor."

"No, you haven't-"

"Yes, I have. You were just too consumed with your self righteous glory to notice."

The air gets colder. Somewhere there is thunder. Loki thinks he hears Mobius yelling at them but they are too locked in to each other to turn away from the fight. 

"I was always there for you, defending you-"

"I told you exactly how I felt on Saakar," Loki hisses and Thor's eyes widen when he realizes Loki is talking about his Loki who is only separated from this Loki by not even a decade of experience. "I guess I'll just have to go it alone. Like I've always done."

"Our paths diverged," Thor throws back, "you never wanted me by you. You just pushed me away. You committed treason, murder, genocide-"

"You never wanted me!" Loki is yelling now. The wind is howling. "I did everything to be your equal and it was never enough!" Anger claws his throat. He spits out, "You never stood by me when it mattered."

"Loki," Thor warns. Lightning flashes by the house. 

Loki narrows his eyes. "I fell, Thor. From the bifrost, with Thanos, the dark elves, The Grandmaster and then I died." Then in a whisper, he hisses, "You never caught me. You never loved me-"

Thor hits him hard, knocking Loki halfway off the roof. Loki's foot comes up and kicks Thor, knocking him off balance. Loki grabs the lights and heaves himself up but Thor gets his leg and tries to pull him over. Loki blasts him with his magic sending Thor over the side but his ankle is still in Thor's grip as he falls, taking Loki with him.

They're sliding, rolling off the roof. Loki tries to grab the shingles but Thor goes over the edge and his weight drags his brother with him. They scream as they fall. It's not far. It wouldn't damage them but it scares them anyway. Loki stops halfway down with Thor's foot caught in the lights. He has a hold of Loki's foot, dangling him. As Loki swings upside down from his grip he spins enough to see Mobius...hands on his hips watching this. The boys and Love are giggling.

"You done?" Mobius asks.

"Uh..." Loki doesn't get a chance to answer. He hears the lights snap and he's falling into the snow then Thor lands on him crushing his lungs and smashing his face into mud and snow.

"Get off," Loki coughs, "get off!"

But as he shoves at Thor's body, Loki sees the tired look in Mobius's eyes as he looks up at the roof. Loki twists and looks. Half the lights are busted and dark. Santa is now on the ground again, only this time bits of plastic are spread around it.

Loki groans. He messed up...again.

***********************************

The feast of Thor is not like Loki remembers it. It's not boisterous and loud and it doesn't have drinking and yelling and wrestling. It doesn't even have a roast.

It's a simple dinner of chicken nuggets, fries and salads. It's also quiet with anger between Loki and Thor. It's tense between Loki and Mobius. The only sounds are the quiet laughing and teasing between the kids. They are the only ones to finish their food.

When it comes to bedtime, Mobius hear's the arrangement and shakes his head. He asks Love, "Do you want to be with Thor or the boys?"

Love lights up, "The boys!"

Mobius nods. "Okay. Then you'll be with them and Thor can be with Loki. I'll go get the sleeping bag."

Loki's heart drops. He's sleeping with Thor. But he thought...

It's all a whirlwind from there. The kids are hustled to bed which takes all three of them to do, their energy at peak level at night. They finally catch them staring outside at the yard lights and dangling roof lights swaying in the breeze, half asleep.

When they're finally down, Thor runs off to Loki's room while Mobius to the bathroom. Loki stands there quite confused and quite lonely.

What Loki wants to do is sulk, refuse to sleep with Thor, be stubborn to Mobius and go to the couch or not sleep at all. But the voice that sounds like his therapist (and a bit like Mobius which only makes it more disturbing) tells him that that only hurts him. It doesn't hurt Thor or Mobius. It would be better to confront them about it.

Frankly, the voice is right. When they first got there, Mobius and Loki got in a bad argument and the next day Mobius was sick. It turned out it was just him getting used to Earth germs again but at the moment Loki believed the tree was dying and he would be gone any second.

If Mobius is gone tomorrow or Loki leaves tomorrow, the last thing he wants done between them is the silent treatment.

So, Loki shoves his pride aside and walks the hallway to Mobius's bathroom where the man is mouth washing, cheeks bulged as he swishes the Listerine back and forth. He doesn't indicate if he knows Loki is there or not.

"Mobius," Loki says quietly.

Mobius spits out the blue liquid and wipes his mouth with a towel. "What?" At least he acknowledged Loki. 

Loki swallows hard. "I don't want to go to bed angry."

Mobius looks at him and the look in his eyes tells Loki that he wasn't expecting that. They stare at each other. Mobius is analyzing him. Loki wishes he wouldn't. Mobius sighs and stands straight. Before Loki can say anything Mobius says, "I'm sorry."

"I....what?"

"Thor is right. I know how flustered you get when he's here. And parents do forget their kids sometimes. Usually at gas stations but that's not important.

"I've been a real royal jerk the past two days. You're trying your best. I can see it clear as day. I'm sorry for not giving you that credit."

Tears spring into Loki's eyes. Mobius shouldn't have to apologize. He's not the one messing this up. "I'm sorry for messing all this up. I want this to be the best Christmas you've ever had. But now you don't have a tree. Your family room is a wreck and we destroyed half of the decorations." Loki breathes unsteadily, trying to reign in his emotions.

Mobius shakes his head. He walks to Loki and holds out his hands. Instead of grabbing them, Loki crouches into his arms, shortening himself so he is snug against Mobius's body. Mobius's arms wrap around him, squeezing him. Loki buries his face in the juncture between Mobius's neck and shoulder. As he tries to keep from sobbing, Mobius strokes his hair, saying, "You don't have to be perfect, Lokes. Frankly, I'm happy you're messing up cause I am, too. While we were setting out decorations today I told the kids about how I could turn into spaghetti. Didn't really think it through till Sean looked like he was going to cry. Pretty sure I traumatized him."

Loki snorts. How dare Mobius make him laugh. This is serious.

"Hey," Mobius says. Loki turns a little to acknowledge he's listening. "We both have therapy tomorrow and I'm 99% sure they'll tell us we need a break. We'll tell Thor to watch the kids and we'll go wherever you want to go. No complaints from me. Take some time out. Just the two of us."

Loki smiles. "That sounds nice. But do you really trust him with the boys. He did just leave Love home alone."

That makes Mobius laugh harder than Loki thought he could. "Well, I'll tell Ben to check in on them but I'm pretty sure they'll be fine. He'll probably take them for a joy ride or something."

"Or something," Loki whispers. They stay in that embrace for a long time. Loki feels himself relaxing, calming. Mobius is so warm, so soft. Loki squeezes his torso, taking in the flesh that bends to his fingers and makes Mobius so...well...him.

Loki purrs, "Squishy."

Mobius wriggles at that. Loki knows Mobius is self-conscious of his body but he can't help what he loves. "How you could like me like this I'll never understand," Mobius mutters.

Loki raises his head and lays his nose against Mobius's, staring into his eyes and sternly saying, "How you can't understand why I like it I'll never understand." Then Loki kisses him letting Mobius's mustache tickle his upper lip.

Mobius's tenses and Loki pulls away. In Mobius's eyes, Loki can see it. The pain. The thing in Mobius's head that scared Loki when he was in the tree. The thing that made Mobius poison himself and scratch his wrist till it left stains on his fingers and clothes.

It's here now, and Loki can imagine what it's saying. He's too soft. Too large. Too old. Not enough. Loki understands the last one cause he's feeling it, too. And Loki wonders how much of their argument has been because neither of them feels like they are enough.

"I love you," Loki suddenly says, tears coming to his eyes, "you make my life better. You are so strong and I have a hard time forgetting that you have weaknesses, too, because you are so powerful in everything you do. You make me stronger for it. That little voice inside you," Mobius's eyes widen in their down cast stare, "it's wrong. And I'll say that as long as it's there."

Mobius snorts, "I'm pretty sure it's an ingrained part of me, Loki."

"Forever then," Loki says, "I'll fight it for the rest of time. Even after that."

Mobius's eyes grow glassy. "What would I do without you." They both know and neither of them dares to say it. Mobius sniffs. "I'm proud of you. You're doing a good job with the boys. You've changed a lot from when we first met. You're doing a lot better than you were."

It's Loki's turn to snort. "They don't like me."

"Sure they do. Yeah, Sean is a little weary but Kevin likes you. Just give him time. He'll learn to love you just like I do."

Loki smiles weakly. He has to trust that Mobius is right. Loki kisses him again and this time Mobius reciprocates. But then he smirks.

"What?" Loki asks.

"You're still going to have to sleep with Thor though."

Loki's jaw drops.

"Mobius!"

*************************

Thor isn't asleep. There is no snoring, no erratic movements. He just lays on his side, back to Loki where Loki lay on a bed he conjured up. Loki studies the tattoo on Thor's back, debating on whether to speak or not. The image of Thor being turned into spaghetti is enough for him to open his mouth.

"I told Mobius that I didn't want to go to bed angry. I don't want the last thing I've done to him be something I regret. I thought..." the words get stuck. Loki swallows, his mouth dry, "I thought I'd extend that courtesy to you."

Thor doesn't make a sound. Loki watches the red alarm clock change numbers twice before his brother sighs. It's something. Loki continues.

"You have a ginormous tattoo of my helmet on your back-"

"Not your helmet. His helmet, " Thor interrupts and Loki senses a bit of anger in his voice.

Loki relents because it's true. For Thor, that's not Loki's helmet. "His helmet," he says quietly. Loki feels awkward. He wants to run to Mobius's room and hide there but he made Loki promise to fix things the first chance he got. Loki just didn't know would be tonight.

"I'm sorry your feast wasn't-"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for-"

Thor and Loki stop immediately. Thor turns. Loki looks at the ceiling, avoiding his gaze. "You go," he offers.

Thor releases a breath slowly. "Okay. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me to be. It's taken me a long time to accept that the things I said to you..."

Know your place, brother. 

"The things I did..."

They're just tricks, Loki. Fight like an Einjhar.

"The things we all did..."

You are alone and you always will be. 

What? Silver tongue turned to lead. 

"... Was not okay. There are still many things I can't come to terms with. "

I'm not your brother. I never was. 

"I thought the world of you. You are my brother. Even when you stabbed me for fun I couldn't see it any other way. My younger brother. But I treated you harshly. I put you in a box of my own making. Just like father."

Loki winces. Where is Thor going with this? "Thor..."

"I would change so much if I could do things over again. I would treat you better and make our friends...my friends...respect you. I'm sorry, brother. I wasn't enough for you and for that I will always be ashamed."

Loki doesn't know where to start on any of that. It's all too much. He's choking. He barely manages to get out, "I wouldn't."

"Wouldn't what?"

"Change anything." Loki has thought about this for a long time. It's about time he explained it. "I mean maybe I would stab you less. Maybe stop being so needy. But..." he taps his fingers on the blanket, "I wouldn't change anything. I met Mobius because of how I reacted to you and the others. I don't know if it would have been the same if I met him sooner or later. But...I can't imagine my life without him. He made me more than I am. To be loved is to be changed. If I hadn't met him, he would still be trapped at the TVA, a mindless cog, hurting himself for things he couldn't control.

"I am hurt. It will take me a long time to heal from what happened in our time on Asgard. But I wouldn't change a thing because if I hadn't done what I did, I wouldn't have this."

Loki swallows hard. "I wish you're Loki had this chance. That Mobius could have saved him and he could be with you right now. Had his own happy ending."

They go silent, their peaces said but so much unsaid that they don't know how to say it.

Loki is starting to doze off when Thor says, "Are you happy?"

"What?" He croaks.

"When I saw you for the first time, I was furious. That you had tricked me, that you lied. I saw you were scared, but underneath that when I finally stopped yelling at you, I saw you were happy. Or at least, what I believe is happiness."

Loki snorts. He's not wrong. When Sylvie and Loki came and saw Thor, Loki was petrified. Mobius was having weird spells. He didn't want to leave him, but Mobius insisted. They met Thor on Earth a few years after he adopted Love.

He saw Loki and Sylvie coming and he burst into tears, but when Loki came to him, he exploded about Thanos and explosions and years and years of grief. He knew Loki wasn't his Loki. Sylvie had explained that to him ages ago. That didn't change his pain.

Afterward, he brought out some mead and they sat on the cliff where Odin died and talked about the years they had missed. Loki explained Yggdrasil, Thor about Love and Jane. Loki told him he knew and they embraced.

Lastly, Loki told him about Mobius. About what he did for him. Who Mobius was, why Loki was with him and not staying on that timeline with Thor.

That moment must be the one Thor is referring to. 

Loki nods even though Thor can't see it. "Yes. I am incredibly and undeniably happy. But I am scared, too, Thor. It's stupid after everything Mobius and I went through to be scared he'll reject me when he hasn't before. But I can't help it. I've lost him so many times I've lost count. He's why I'm here, Thor. He is where I belong. If he doesn't want me anymore..."

Loki trails off. He can't finish that sentence. He just can't. Thor doesn't say anything for a long time. Finally, once the clock hits midnight, he whispers, "I know that feeling. I still feel it when I think of Jane."

Loki chokes. His brother who belongs everywhere, not belonging without Jane. It seems unfathomable but Thor is not a good liar. Thor goes on, "If worst comes to worst, brother, you have me. Now that I have you back, I'm not letting you go again. But if it's any comfort, I don't think Mobius will ever let you go. He needs you just as much as you need him."

 Loki lets out a long breath. Thor is right. Every moment of Loki's time away from Mobius proves that. The glow in Mobius's eyes is proof of that.

"Thank you, brother," Loki whispers.

Loki can hear the smile in Thor's voice and it makes him smile, too. 

"You're welcome, Loki. The sun is shining on us, isn't it?"

The words make Loki's heart hurt, their meaning not missed by him. He nods, tears in his eyes. "Yes. I believe it is."

"Good. You deserve the sun, too."

You deserve the sun, too. 

"Stop being sappy," Loki snaps.

Thor laughs. "Good night, Loki."

Thor promptly goes quiet then a low snore starts.

Loki sighs, relieved but feeling spent. He thinks he can sleep now.

"Good night, Thor."

Chapter Text

"This is beautiful, Loki."

Loki turns to Mobius who is looking up at the tree in awe. He's in his brown suit as always. He gently touches some of the branches and they shimmer bright blue.

"It trusts you," Loki says, watching as other branches get closer to both of them. 

"Does it?" Mobius asks, turning from Loki to face the ever expanding mass of branches. 

"Yes," Loki whispers, staring at Mobius, not daring to take their eyes off him. "It knows you're a part of it. It trusts all of its branches. It's all connected."

"And if one breaks?"

Loki shrugs as they come up next to him, "Then I suppose it breaks. It's no longer part of the tree and will die. Or become something else. It won't need the mother tree anymore."

"Pity."

Loki turns to Mobius to disagree, to say that evil branches, branches like them, sometimes need to be broken off in order to become something new or perish. But a scream chokes their throat.

Mobius is flaking. Bits of skin float up into the tree. Everything turns dark. Branches wrap around Loki holding them in place, dragging them back onto a throne they don't want.

All the while Mobius flakes away. Slowly his eyes turn from dead to scared. He reaches for Loki, saying, "Loki!"

"Mobius!" Loki reaches for him, fighting the branches but as their fingers touch, graze tip to tip, Mobius turns to ash.

Loki stops breathing, Mobius's s name clogged in their throat.

They are alone...alone... ALONE.

Loki screams.

*******************************

"Mobius! Mobius!"

It's dark. It's too dark. Something is touching her. She lashes out and wacks it and it grunts. Her hand stings where she made impact, but she keeps screaming, hoping the dark will go away.

Where is the sun? Where is life? Where is Mobius?

"Loki!"

Hands are on her shoulders, shaking her. She can barely hear voices over her screaming. 

"Dad!"

"Kids, stay there!"

It's that twangy voice that soothes her heart and stops her screams. Tears roll down her face. "M-Mobius?"

His hands grip her arms tighter. "Yeah, pussycat, I'm here. I'm okay."

It's all quiet for a moment before the vision of ash and the time theater and the tree come back. She can't stop sobbing once she starts.

"Mobius...Moby," she collapses into him. 

He whispers calming words in her ear. She feels more tears than his on her but all that matters are blue eyes the glow sometimes signaling his life...life that could be snuffed out so easily. She can't stand it.

So Loki sobs into him with visions of ash and branches and mathematical equations dancing in her head.

They don't sleep the rest of the night. 

****************************

"You punched your brother and broke his nose?"

Loki rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. It's yellow, bright and in accordance with the day of Jul, singing the to the trees. Bright ribbon and colors are essential. She can already picture Thor struggling with Love at home trying to get her into that awful orange smock he got her. Loki doesn't feel like herself today so the color really throws her off. Mobius not so much. She's used to seeing him in sky blue and white now.

Doesn't change that she feels sick every time she looks at him. 

Loki shakes her head, "No. I punched him but he's stronger than that. It's just bruised."

Loki looks at her therapist, taking her eyes away from the long drop from the office window. The therapist is a plain woman. Wears plaid a lot. Loki doesn't know much about her. The woman doesn't know Loki is Asgardian. She just knows what Loki tells her which she prefers.

The woman eyes Loki, probably still trying to figure out how her shapeshifting works before going on. "Why did you punch your brother?"

Loki looks away again. "Nightmares."

"About...Don?"

Loki still has to double-check herself whenever somebody calls Mobius that. She nods. "Yes."

"Is it the same one?"

"Yes."

Loki thinks of the theory of variants dreaming of each other and how accurate it is. But that wasn't the case for Mobius or Sylvie who dreamed their futures. Is she dreaming Mobius's future?

The thought makes her sick. 

The therapist, Judy is her name, Loki thinks, sees she's not going to elaborate and moves on.

"The holidays are coming up." Loki nods. "You said your brother dropped in unexpectedly due to that."

"Yes. It caused a lot of problems," Loki says.

Judy chuckles. "I know. My family loves to drop in. Always puts me in a stressful mood."

Loki nods. Again. "Yes. I forgot Kevin and Sean yesterday. Mob- Don - wasn't happy about it."

"You two looked very happy this morning."

That's because Mobius let her cling to him like a leech for the last six hours but Loki doesn't tell her that. "We fixed things last night." Loki starts drawing invisible pictures on the window. "Remembered what you said about how trying to hurt others only hurts me and used that."

Loki knows Judy's smiling. She can sense it. "That's good to hear, Loki. That is progress."

It doesn't feel like it. This morning was an example of that. Loki had got so mad at Thor this morning it felt like everything they accomplished last night didn't matter. He wasn't doing anything wrong. In fact he was being doting on the kids. Her jealousy of Kevin and Sean adoring Thor got in her way. Mobius excused it as a nightmare jitter. Loki trusts him to know her better but sometimes wonders if he's blind to her faults.

Loki doesn't realize she's saying any of that aloud until Judy hums and says, "Loki, you are an accumulation of your faults, your successes, you're positives and negatives."

Loki looks to her, surprised by the wisdom in the words. Judy smiles at her. "You are stressed for the holidays. You don't have your parents. This is your first one with Don. It's okay to feel that way. "

Is it? Loki looks down. The shimmery dress has a couple wrinkles. She smooths them out. 

"How about we work on that this week?" Judy asks. "Each day write in that journal I gave you something positive for your day, something positive about yourself and something you were grateful for. How does that sound?"

Awful. But Loki doesn't say that either. She just pictures Mobius and his disappointed face if she screws this up. 

"Okay," she whispers, "I'll try."

*******************************

Mobius gets out a few minutes after Loki. He's red-eyed and looks tired. Loki gets up from the couch as he approaches and drops her head on his shoulder. "I hate therapy."

Mobius chuckles and rubs her back. "Are you ready to go?"

"I was ready an hour ago."

Mobius laughs even harder because that's when they got there. "Okay. Let's go."

He takes her hand and side by side they go to the elevator and down to the first floor. Loki leans on Mobius, her head never leaving his shoulder. 

On their semi-silent ride, Loki asks, "How was your meeting?"

Mobius squeezes her hand. "Similar to yours I'd imagine. Talking about holidays and your brother and the kids. My inadequacies. What did Judy ask you to do?"

Loki rolls her eyes. "Write down positive things and be grateful. What did Tyler ask you to do?"

"He wants me to be more open. You know how closed off I get." Loki nods. The key lime pie incident comes to mind. "He asked me to write down how I'm feeling each day and share it with you or Thor or the kids. Talk things out rather than bottling it up until I explode."

The elevator bings and they go out into lobby, through the double doors to the outside. The sun is bright, like it was when Loki visited Sylvie. That reminds her...

"Where do you want to go, pussycat?" Mobius asks flipping open his tempad as they enter an alleyway.

"Can we go to the TVA? Just for a moment. I'd like to double check the others are coming."

Mobius nods. "Of course. I need to talk to O.B. about the roast anyway. He has his own special idea of how it's supposed to be cooked."

The way Mobius says that makes Loki laugh. The time door pops open and they're gone soon after.

****************************

"Hey guys!"

O.B. immediately stands when he sees them. Casey runs to the front. To Loki's surprise a wreath is on his hand. O.B. stand straight and she sees a retrofitted Christmas tree in his hands.

"Since when does the TVA celebrate christmas," Loki asks. 

O.B. puts the tree on his messy desk and says, "They don't. But since Casey, B, D and I are coming down soon we wanted to try and get into the spirit."

Mobius chuckles at the way O.B. says spirit. "Don't hurt yourself trying to fit in, O.B."

Casey chuckles while O.B. looks at him and confusion. "Fit in?"

"Don't worry about it," Mobius says. He squeezes Loki's hand.

Oh yes. Why they are here. 

"We just wanted to drop in and say hi," Loki says, "Obviously you remembered you were coming on Christmas eve, so no need to remind you of that."

"You kidding. We can't wait! It's been a long time since any of us got to do anything like this. And to do it with you two. It's great!"

Loki looks at Casey. He's grinning, too. "We are excited, Loki. We haven't done anything as a group since you left."

Well, that may be true. This is not a normal gathering. It's going to be strange because something like this will be beyond them. But Loki doesn't bring that up. Instead, she says, "We are excited. Hopefully it will be just as fun for you as it is for us."

"If you're in charge," Casey jokes, "I don't doubt it."

"O.B.," Mobius steps in, "speaking of Christmas, about that roast, are you going to be helping me with it?"

Then O.B. and Mobius get into a detailed conversation about roasts that lasts way too long. In the meantime, Loki thinks through what Christmas Eve will look like with a house so full. They still haven't figured out sleeping arrangements or how they'll accommodate so much food. They'll also still be trying to celebrate Jul so there's that, too.

Loki remembers Judy's words and decides to ground herself in Mobius's touch and her gratitude she gets this time with him. They don't get enough of it.

So before Mobius and O.B. can go into a conversation about grills and oven efficiency, Loki tugs on him. "Moby, the trip."

Mobius nods immediately. "Right, sorry, Lokes. We should be going, O.B."

"No problem. We will see you tomorrow. Or whenever it is we come."

Time works differently in the TVA and sometimes it can sound complicated just like how O.B. made it sound.

They wave bye to O.B. and Casey and go into the hall where they run into B-15. "Saw the alert you guys showed up," she says, smiling, " you all good?"

Mobius nods. "We are. Just got out of therapy and are going for a little date."

B smiles. "I heard therapy took a toll on you. D seems to know more about it than I do."

D-90? Loki looks at Mobius and sees his blush, "D can be a good listener when he wants to be."

"Or he is just good at keeping secrets," B says lightly. She doesn't seem to be taking this personally but Loki for one is concerned. Since when has Mobius been talking to D-90 about therapy. "How are you Loki?"

Loki barely hears her over her roaring thoughts. "I'm fine. Ready for my date." She say it harsher than she means to but time is ticking. And Loki wants to know more about these secret talks.

B picks up on Loki's urgency and nods. "I'm glad you two are all right. I assume D and I are still invited for Christmas?"

"Of course you are-"

"We'll see," Loki pushes in, her frustration getting bigger. Mobius looks at her confused before saying, "I'll text you when we're ready for you."

B nods. "You got it. See you later, Mobius, Loki."

Then she's off to the elevator. 

Mobius pulls out his tempad and says, "Where to?"

Loki glares at him. "What talks are you and D-90 having that I don't know about?"

Mobius slumps but his shoulders shake so Loki knows he's laughing. "Oh, Lokes..."

*************************************

Loki chose a planet halfway across the universe from Earth. It's cooler, like perpetual fall. Snow is falling and melting around their feet. Mobius wraps himself in his coat tighter as they make their way to a little cabin hidden deep in the mountains.

Loki watches Mobius as he stares up at the falling snow. It would be hard to understand why he's staring if the clouds weren't red and the snow a deep purple.

"So," Loki says, "you're talking to D-90."

"And you're talking to Sylvie," Mobius finally looks back at her, "we all need people to talk to, Lokes. We can't solve very single one of each other's problems all the time. I think the last couple of days proved that."

He's not wrong on that account. Loki did just go see Sylvie two days ago because she was feeling overwhelmed.

Mobius gently pushes his shoulder into her. "You alright?"

Loki shrugs, "I hate it when you're right sometimes." Mobius chuckles at that.

"Don't worry. I don't tell him anything I don't tell you. It's just nice to have an outside perspective sometimes. From someone who's not absolutely crazy about me."

Loki doesn't like the sound of that. While it's true it does almost makes her sound like a maniac. Which is also true but she's not admitting to it.

"So," Mobius continues, "I don't think I've been here before. Why this little planet?"

By now they have come to the cabins front door. Loki magics the lock and the door swings open. "It's quiet. Very isolated. Also," Loki winks at him, "we can be as loud and rambunctious as we want and no one will be the wiser."

Mobius blushes and rolls his eyes. "Of course. Who could forget that part."

Loki drags him into the cabin and promptly closes the door, shutting out the cold. She lights up the fireplace then turns to Mobius. "We have a couple hours before a major storm hits. We could stay here for a while and then go into town and get some gifts for the kids. Take it slow."

Mobius smiles gently. He reaches for her coat before whispering, "I'd like that."

****************************

They stay in the cabin longer than Loki intended, but if she were to be honest, she's okay with that. They're sitting there by the fire wrapped in blankets watching the flames dance from one end of the hearth to the other.

"Loki," Mobius whispers, "why did you choose this place? Usually you go to Asgard for comfort. Why here?"

Loki sighs. Her answer earlier did not throw him off. There is no time like the present. The last person she's scared of is Mobius even though he's also the person she's scared of most.

"We haven't discussed this," Loki says slowly, letting the sensation of his fingers running up and down her side fill her. "But it's a part of me and considering I just traumatized your kids with it I figured I should show you that piece of me. Truly show it to you."

Mobius's hand stills. "Loki, you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"No, we need to discuss this," she says. Loki turns to him, looking him in his eyes. They glow in the firelight, and a feeling of fear overwhelms her. She knows he won't be disgusted, but she is and she's not ready to see that in his eyes, not even a flicker of it. Her stomach rolls.

Frost giants are monsters. That's what she was always taught. And now she has to face the monster in her because Mobius needs to know that monster, too. Personally. Not off his screen. Tears prick her eyes. She looks over her body, bare but covered by a blanket. She doesn't become blue. She can't do it...

Mobius sees this and whispers, "How about we just talk about it. You don't have to show it to me."

"It feels like I don't trust you if I don't show you."

"We both know that's not true."

Loki sighs and slumps. "I really thought I'd be brave enough to do it today."

Mobius kisses her cheek and Loki feels weak. It tingles. "Loki, if you never show me, I'm okay with that. Our relationship doesn't hinge on whether big blue comes out or not. Yes, I would love to see it someday. See it, feel it. Love every part of it." Loki heats up and it shows. "But it's your body. Your heritage. I won't force you to show it to me. I love you in any form you want to give me."

At that Loki tenses up. It's not that she doesn't trust his words. It's that she doesn't trust that she won't break it. She rubs Mobius's leg, feeling his soft skin and recalls the moment it turned to ash.

"Sometimes," she whispers, "I feel like if I do one wrong thing, it's all over. It was that way with Odin. Sometimes with Thor. I worry that at some point I'll cross a line and...it'll be the end here, too."

Mobius curls Loki into him. She rests against him as he whispers, "Me, too."

"You haven't made nearly as many mistakes as I have."

"It's less about mistakes than worth, Lokes. I want you to remember that ginormous sacrifice we made for each other cause if that doesn't prove our worth to the other I don't know what will. I'll keep remembering it, too."

"You mean the sacrifice that you keep having nightmares about?"

Mobius is quiet for a moment. Loki looks at him and he sighs. "It's less about your sacrifice. It's more about...branches."

"Branches?"

"Every one. I feel like I'm seeing everything for all time all at once. How I don't wake up with ginormous headache I'll never know."

That sounds concerning but Loki will let it pass since Mobius's hands are wondering. "Me too. They've changed to..." Loki can't describe the horror of being pulled into the tree, of losing Mobius for the thousandth time, "...something else."

Mobius nods, not saying anything. Loki's thoughts drift back to the TVA into the time theater. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For lowering the temperature in my cell those first couple of days. It really made things more comfortable. It made me both suspicious and comfortable to be with you." Loki kisses his neck, slow and gently, "You always know what I need before I do." Mobius chuckles. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just sappier than normal." Loki scowls and tries to pull away. "I'm sorry, " he quickly apologizes. "I'm sorry, it's just different. I appreciate you being honest. I wasn't being mean. Just...curious."

Curious her butt. "It's been a long day, Mobius. Therapy never leaves me as myself," she crosses her arms in a huff, "It gets me to vulnerable."

Mobius runs a hand through her hair. "I love you."

"Shut up."

Loki eyes a bite on his neck. They'll have to cover that...but not till after they go shopping.

"So," Loki says, "you'll love me even when I turn into a giant blue monster and attack you."

Mobius rolls his eyes. "That's highly unlikely but yes, even then. For all time."

His eyes are soft. Mobius's smile is real. Not forced, or scared, or bored, or tired. Real and genuine. Loki rubs a finger over his lips before kissing him deeply.

"Always."

**************************

The house is still intact when they get back. It smells like burnt toast and the hallway is strewn with toys. But it's together. They find Thor in the family room asleep with Love and Kevin. Sean is all the floor putting together a puzzle. 

They let them be besides Sean who immediately gets up and starts helping the two make the wassail for tonight's event: singing to the trees.

They are going to carol around the neighborhood before heading out of town to the lake where they will sit, sing, do plays and more. Oddly enough it is the most relaxing part of the day where the three of them make the wassail together. Family-friendly of course.

The smell of it awakens Thor and by evening he and Love have almost eaten Mobius and Loki out of house and home. Around 7:00 Ben shows up. Loki frowns at him, standing in the threshold, the cold not bothering her. "What are you doing here?"

Ben stares at her for a moment before waving his finger, pointing at all her body. "I keep forgetting you can do that." Loki scowls. He moves on. "Don, er, Mobius invited me. Don't you remember?"

"I try to forget our interactions," Loki hisses.

Ben doesn't take it to heart. He says "He invited the kids, too, but they don't want to come and the wife is busy so here I am."

Loki crosses her arms. She knows she's letting the cold in but it doesn't bother her. She could stand there all day. "Do you even know what we're doing?"

"Yeah. Singing at the trees or something."

Before Loki can punch him, Thor grabs her arm and forces himself into the threshold of the door. "Hello! You must be Ben. Mobius said you were coming."

Ben's eyes pop out of his head. "Wow. You're big."

Thor says proudly, "I am Thor, son of Odin. It's a pleasure to meet you Ben. I'm sure you will be a great addition to tonight's festivities."

Ben smiles, "Well I'm excited. Are we ready to go?"

"Not quite. Come in."

Thor moves and Ben passes Loki. She spends at least another two minutes cursing her brother for acting like this in Mobius's house before going back in.

The next half hour is a whirlwind of getting everyone dressed warm and getting the wassail ready to move. 

Then they carol for about an hour from house to house. They take turns suggesting songs. They make old ladies cry and old men smile. They even pick up other kids and parents who want to join in the fun.

It's funner than it has any right to be. 

Kevin is a horrible singer. Love gets distracted a lot. Loki has the best voice out of the lot though Mobius could be good if he had lessons. At some point the other kids start a snowball fight and by the end they are all drenched, cold, and laughing. 

At home they change clothes though still in bright colors: pinks, blues, reds, oranges, and greens and put on warm clothes for the trek to the lake. Loki magics a braid with ribbons intertwined. It catches Mobius's eye and Loki makes a mental note to do it again someday.

The drive is long. They take two cars. The boys go with Thor and Love. Loki looks back every once in awhile and sees Thor swerving on the road and wonders if anyone is going to die tonight.

Unfortunately that means Ben comes with Loki and Mobius and yaps Mobius's ear off the entire trip. 

But once they are there standing in the cold surrounded by a lake and trees, Loki feels content. The voices of her family and Ben bring a sense of calm.

"Loki?"

Loki looks down. Sean is by her. It's hard to recognize him with as much snow gear as he's gone on. "Yes, Sean," she asks.

He looks embarrassed as he says, "We're here to sing, too, right?"

"Amongst other things, yes."

He kicks the snow, sending a spray. Kevin runs past him and belly flops into the snow. Thor yells and Loki prays he doesn't drop the wassail.

"When I first heard you sing, that first week you guys were here, I was listening and I liked it," Sean ducks into his coat, "Will you sing it again?"

Loki is taken back by Sean's request. That song runs in her head often. It reminds her of her mother, of Sylvie, of her time in the tree. She sang it once here because she was nervous about interacting with the boys. It was a source of comfort. She didn't really think the boys heard her. They were yelling. She was doing the dishes. How could they hear? Apparently, she was wrong.

Loki smiles at him and whispers, "Okay."

Sean smiles back before chasing after Love who is running around the lake screaming.

"What was that?" Mobius asks, coming up beside her. 

"He wants me to sing 'Very Full.' I guess he heard it all those months ago."

"Are you going to sing it?"

"I will. For Sean I will."

Mobius wraps and arm around her. "Good. Singing carol's is one thing. But a solo," he rests his head on hers, "that's a treat."

Loki feels warm and she's happy she decided to be shorter today. She rolls her eyes. "Do gather the kids. I'm sure you and Ben can accomplish that, can't you?"

"Of course we can." Mobius and Loki jump. Beside them, Ben sucks on a lollipop.

"How long have you been there?"

Ben shrugs. "Does it matter?"

Yes, but before Loki can argue Ben's grabbed Mobius's shirt and dragged him off. 

"Loki," Thor calls, "where should I put the wassail?"

Loki directs him to one of the bigger trees where they wait until the kids are gathered.

"So," Thor says, "you're going to sing for us."

"Yes," Loki says as Sean and Kevin sit in the snow, Love climbs Thor and Ben and Mobius watch her. "I will."

When it's quiet and the cold air fills her lungs, and a nostalgic pain fills her body, she sings. She looks up at the stars and sings.

I stormsvarte fell jeg vandrer alene...

**********************************

"...that calls upon us, by the grace of grace, we will perform in measure, time and place. So thanks to all at once and to each one, whom we invite to see us crowned at scone."

There is a round of clapping as Loki takes a deep breath. Vaguely she hears Ben say to Mobius, "I don't remember Macbeth ending like that."

It's not the ending Loki changed but Macbeth's death not that Ben should be pointing it out. Mobius chuckles but his grin is big. He stayed ruptured during the whole play which makes Loki love him even more. She gave the kids and Thor parts while Mobius and Ben watched. It was more successful than she could have dreamed.

Once the cheering and her bowing stops, Mobius stands and says, "Well judging by all the red noses and snot I'd say it's time to go home. Everyone get your last bits of wassail. Ben, could you go with Thor? We need to get the boys to bed and I'm sure you have many questions."

Ben nods, looking at Thor who smiles back. "Yeah, that would be fine. Thanks for inviting me, Mobius."

It's an awkward handshake that follows. Mobius still doesn't know how to react to Ben sometimes. Mobius is not Don. They don't hang off each other like they do in other timelines. Loki can see that longing in Ben's eyes and she's grateful he is unwilling to make Mobius uncomfortable.

Thor takes the wassail and once they get the kids strapped in, they are off. Mobius offers Loki the driver seat once they hit the highway, saying she will never get all of her hours in to get a license if she doesn't practice.

Loki thinks he's just tired and trusts her enough to let her drive. She grips the wheel so tight it might break. She doesn't want to kill all of them. Not after Mobius has shown her this much trust. 

Mobius is asleep almost immediately and Kevin, when Loki looks in the rear view mirror, is also asleep. Sean is not.

He stares out the window watching cars and buildings go by. Loki chews her lip for a long moment before saying, "Thank you, Sean, for being a good sport about my holiday. I know it's something you're not used to."

Sean doesn't turn from the window but he does reply. "I think it helps Kevin." He slumps in his seat. "Mom did this two years ago, too, and it was really hard on all of us. It wasn't a good christmas." He finally looks at Loki and smiles."Jul is giving us a distraction from everything that's happened."

Loki feels a little better knowing this is helping rather than hurting them. 

"Loki?"

"Yes, Sean."

"Thanks for taking care of Dad. For bringing him here." Sean suddenly sniffs. Loki looks back in the rear view and sees he's starting to cry. "I miss our dad. But I'm glad we have you guys, too. Sometimes..." He stops but Loki knows where he's going with this.

"Sean," Loki says, "it's okay to miss your dad. Mobius misses his kids, too, even if he can't remember them. I miss my Thor, my real Thor. We're a pieced together family, Sean. It's okay to be sad. It's not okay if you let it overwhelm you."

"I don't want to be. I don't want Dad to think it's his fault."

Sean sniffs again. Loki replies with, "You know what your dad got told today. That he needs to be more open with us. All of us. I think if you talk that out with him, it'll help him, too." When Sean doesn't say anything, Loki says, "he's not going to feel worse because you miss your dad, Sean. I promise."

Loki can see Sean hesitating. It's the same look Loki always has when she has something serious she needs to talk to Mobius about. Mobius is the least intimidating person she knows and yet he can bring people he loves so much fear.

"Okay," Sean says quietly and it's slightly deja vu from their conversation the other day. Maybe, Loki thinks, that's just their word. Okay.

"Okay," Loki replies.

After a moment of silence, Sean suddenly starts singing. He didn't sing much caroling or at the trees, but now he is and Loki feels honored she can hear it.

Christmas is here 

Mistletoe and laughter 

Carols and bells 

Ringing to the rafters 

Lights on the tree 

Candles all aglow

And all who passed by say hello

Loki let's the words overcome her. As street lamps pass over them, she relaxes. Never before has she felt so at peace with these kids then she does right now.

Keep Christmas here

In your heart

****************************

1 good thing about my day: Sean and I bonded. We're not close yet we are closer than we were. He didn't frown at me today.

1 good thing about me: I do good plays. Even if the others don't understand it, I make it dramatic enough that they can follow.

Gratitude: I had alone time with Mobius. We got away and were able to enjoy each other. I wish we had more times like this. I'm grateful for the kids who give me a chance to grow into something new. I am grateful for family. My family.

Chapter Text

"Loki! Loki, wake up!"

Loki is shaken awake and he starts so hard Kevin and Sean fling themselves back. He's huffing, his heart racing from the abrupt awakening. He takes in the two boys. Both of their eyes are wide and they're breathing is heavy.

"What's wrong?" Loki asks, surprised by the gravel in his voice.

"It's Dad," Kevin hiccups. Through soft light of dawn Loki sees tears in his eyes. "He's not waking up."

Loki's out of the illusion bed so fast, magic goes flying. His feet pound the floor as he races to Mobius's bedroom. Is he sick? Is this the end? He's not ready! HE'S NOT READY!

Loki hits the threshold of Mobius's room so hard dust falls on his head and the frame breaks. He hears teeny feet pad behind him but his focus is elsewhere. Mobius is on his side facing away from Loki. He hurries to the bed and sits by him, evaluating him.

Mobius is breathing, deep in sleep. Not even Loki getting on the bed disturbs him. Loki shakes him, gently, then harder, "Mobius. Mobius, wake up. Mobius."

He doesn't stir. Not even a twitch. 

"Loki." It's Kevin. Loki turns. The boys are in the doorway, their fear growing even more palpable.

"Loki!" Thor come sliding into view, Love in his arms with waffles in hand. "What's wrong? What's happening?"

Loki ignores all of them and leans over Mobius to see his face. He's dead to the world. Loki feels his forehead. Cool. He's not sick. So that means...

Loki gently lifts Mobius's eyelid just a little. Bright colors great him. He lets go and slumps against Mobius, relief overwhelming him.

He's just asleep. Yggdrasil is making him sleep. He hasn't been sleeping well. Loki should have known this would happen. Thank the norns it's just sleep.

"Loki?"

Right. Loki's family. He looks at the small gathering of worried eyes and Love munching on waffles. 

"He's fine," Loki declares, "he just needs to rest for a while."

"Why won't he wake up?" Kevin asks.

Oh, boy, how does Loki explain that? When Mobius and Loki came here, their agreement was not to discuss the tree but since Mobius was talking about spaghettification the other day maybe Loki can make this work.

He claps and stands, bouncing on the backs of his feet, "Okay! Who wants breakfast?"

*****************************

"So," Sean swallows his eggs before continuing, "Dad is like a nymph or something."

Loki frowns, pausing in the pushing of his food around his plate. Thor snorts and has coffee nearly go out his nose.

"A nymph? No. Your father is held together by magic and is only attached to the tree because of that. He doesn't have powers and he certainly doesn't fade into trees."

"So, he has no powers," Kevin says, mouth full, "but he can like dream of other timelines and the tree makes him sleep?"

Love suddenly interrupts, "He's like a pruned branch within a branch only the branch can live on its own. Like Groots."

Loki squints. He's not sure if that's how he would put that but why not. "Sure," he says, "branch within a branch."

"When will he wake up?" Sean asks.

Loki sighs, "The last time this happened he was out the majority of the day. I would say the same for today."

"Is he going to miss the feast?"

"Feast?" Loki looks over at Thor who is shocked. 

"Don't tell me you forgot," his brother says. 

"In case you haven't noticed my mind has been a little occupied with Mobius's well-being so no I don't know what-" then it hits him and for some reason Loki feels sick. "Oh...the feast of Odin. That's today."

"Happy Father's Day," Thor smiles, "let him rest well in Valhalla."

Loki's stomach rolls and he pushes his plate away. With everything going on he had forgotten this day. He was counting on Mobius to help him with this but...that isn't an option now.

Thor must see Loki's ill face because he softens and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Father would be proud of you, Loki. This will not be like feasts of old."

Loki swallows hard. "The last time I saw him was when we were on the rainbow bridge." Thor pales. "He was disappointed then. He was disappointed at every feast I was at since I could walk. Now he's dead." Loki tastes bile. "I can't do this, Thor."

"It'll be fine," Thor says, then to the kids, "I have no doubt your father will be awake for the feast."

Loki slumps in his seat, feeling gross. He hears Odin's voice in his head, saying all types of things and sometimes never anything at all. The conversation is lively save for him and Love who stares at Loki as he stares at his plate.

At some point, she reaches out and touches his arm. He looks at her and her smile is gone. "I'm sorry your dad is dumb." Loki almost smiles at that. "Mine was, too. I miss him a lot but he was a big dummy. Dad's can be that way."

Loki snorts. "Am I and Thor part of that?"

Love grins, "Yes!"

Loki chuckles, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No." Then she shoves another waffle in her mouth. 

"Hey!" The group turns to the kitchen window where Kevin is looking outside. "It snowed last night." He turns to them, a big smile on his face, "we should go sledding! Sean and I know the perfect place."

Love thumps her fist on the table, "Yes! I want to do it. I've never sled before!"

At that the decision is decided before Loki can say anything. He's torn between leaving Mobius and making sure the kids are safe. As the boys rush to get their snow gear and find something for Love, he decides that Mobius would want the kids to be safe so he gets up and goes.

*******************************

Sean and Kevin lead Loki, Thor and Love to a small hill that to them is big. Thor and Loki don't mention the grand mountains of Asgard. They just smile and tell the kids to have fun.

As Love, Kevin and Sean get on their sleds and go down the hill, Thor turns to Loki. A curious look crosses his face as he observes his brother in his green sweater and jeans. "What?" Loki asks. 

"You're really not cold?" Thor asks. Loki eyes him. Thor's nose is already red and he's curled into his coat quiet tightly. 

Loki hasn't discussed his heritage much with Thor. In fact even less so then he has with Mobius. The difference is Thor has never seen that form. He's clueless.

"No," Loki says, "I barely feel it."

Thor shuffles awkwardly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. When you found out."

"It wouldn't have mattered," Loki says, "I was angry at everyone. I wouldn't have listened to you. I barely listen to Mother-"

"Has Mobius helped you with it?"

His abrupt question shuts Loki down for a moment. He watches Love get on the long sled with Sean. They go screaming down the hill to where Kevin stands on a man-made skating rink over a basketball court.

Loki nods. "He does when I let him. I don't like showing it to anyone, Thor. I'm working on it. Mobius gives me the time to do so." Odin's words echo in Loki's ears of uniting kingdoms and claims of being his son. "Sometimes I wonder if Mobius were there when I found out if I would have reacted differently. Other times...I think it might have been worse."

"Uncle Thor!" Love runs up the hill with the long sled and waves at him. "Sled with me!"

Thor glances at Loki. He waves Thor away. Thor rushes to Love and Loki laughs at their failed sledding attempt. Thor and his fat butt could never get down a hill that fast. 

The boys take turns taking Loki until the hill is so slick with sled marks and their noses are so red they look sick. Loki calls for them to go even though the adrenaline of going down the hill and wind in his hair makes him want to go for another ride. His words do not deter Kevin though.

"One more ride," Kevin pleads, already in the sled on the slickest path and the longest one that sends the rider onto the ice.

Thor looks at Loki. "Just one. What's the worst that could happen?"

Loki hates it when he says that. He sighs. Love and Sean are busy laughing, not paying attention. Loki nod's. "One ride!"

"Yes!" Kevin pushes off and Thor and Loki watch him go.

"Good kid," Thor laughs, flinging snow out of his hair.

"Wild," Loki replies, watching as Kevin flies toward the ice. 

It happens quickly. Something happens. The sled hits something or Kevin's foot sticks too far out but before Loki knows it Kevin is flying through the air, airborne for only a second before he smashes into the ice face first.

"Kevin!" Loki screams and runs down the hill as fast as he can. Thor, Sean and Love yell and he knows they are behind him. "Kevin!"

Loki hits the ice and slides to the boy, kneeling on the ice beside him. "Kevin, are you okay?"

Kevin is slow to get up and when they see his face the group gasps. Loki feels sick. "Did I stick the landing?" Kevin asks as blood drips from his nose and forehead. A giant bloody gash covers his hairline.

Thor's reaction covers it pretty accurately, "Oh, sh-"

Mobius is going to kill them. Again! 

********************************

Loki hear's the door slam open down the hall then the yelling. "Where is my son!"

Loki jumps hard. He has never heard Mobius sound like this except on timelines he's seen from afar. Ben calls it Papa Bear mode. Loki's never seen it in this Mobius...until now.

There is a multitude of voices than several footsteps down the hall. Loki looks at Thor who is pressed up by the wall with him. Sean and Love are on either side of Kevin's bed. Kevin has had the blood wiped off him, his nose fixed and head stitched. Loki wants to partially blame Mobius for this but he understands that 'papa bear' made the decision not to use magic on the kids. He listens to 'papa bear' whether he agrees with that decision or not.

Thor looks at him and mouths, "uh-oh", to him. Loki shakes his head. This is their fault and he knows it. They'll tell Mobius that, no excuses.

Seconds later, Mobius bursts through the door, his hair is askew, his jacket inside out, and eyes red.

Loki steps forward, "Mobius-"

But he brushes right past Loki to Kevin not even giving him a glance. "Kevin, are you okay? How are you feeling?"

Loki slowly turns, watching as Mobius sits on the bed by Sean and gets a good look at Kevin's wounds. Loki's stomach rolls.

Kevin grins. "I broke my nose! I look like you, Dad!"

Mobius doesn't even comment but turns to Thor and Loki. "What happened?"

"Sledding accident," Thor says immediately, "he hit a bump and then hit the ice. I'm sorry, Mobius. We should have been more careful."

"It was cool!" Love says, "He flew like Superman!"

"If Superman couldn't land," Sean teases, making Kevin stick out his tongue.

Loki is about to speak when the doctor arrives. The next fifteen minutes are a blur. The doctor informs Mobius how long Kevin will have stitches, what to watch for for the next couple of days and that this is more common than you think.

Out of guilt, Thor gives Kevin a piggyback ride to the car while Sean and Love squabble behind him when it's time to go.

Mobius and Loki walk behind and Loki feels absolutely nauseous. He hears it over and over in his head. You're the problem. You did this wrong, you did that wrong. You don't belong here. You are the problem!

Oddly enough, it's all in Odin's voice which seems to be the theme of the day.

Suddenly Mobius bumps into him. Loki startles harder than he would like to admit. "Hey," Mobius says, his eyes calmer and coat fixed. 

"Hi," Loki says weakly.

"What are you thinking?" He asks, his voice way too light for the situation. 

"How are you not mad at me?" Loki asks, "Your kid could have brain trauma because Thor and I didn't stop him from hurting himself."

"You heard the doctor. This stuff happens. And I am 99% sure this happened to one of my brothers if not me."

Loki stares at him. Mobius sees he's not convinced and sighs, "I suppose you want me to yell at you."

"That would be the expectation."

"Well, I'm not going to."

"Were you not angry when you woke up? I left a note stating your child is hurt and at the hospital and clearly you were distressed."

"Loki," Mobius interrupts as they hit the parking lot. The cold breeze cuts through their hair and Mobius shivers, "I don't blame you."

Loki stops. How could he not? Everyone blames him. Why is this trauma coming back? Why, why, why!

They stand under the hospital sign watching as Thor waddles to the car with Kevin on his back and Love and Sean wrapped around his legs. Mobius leans on Loki, and says, "I don't blame you. It was a freak accident. Kevin isn't dead. He's not severely damaged-"

"But he could have been-"

"But he isn't." Loki rolls his eyes. Mobius sighs, "It's not your fault. And I'll say that as many times as I have to. Kevin doesn't blame you either if you should know."

"Kevin thinks this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to him. I don't think he's the best judge of anything right now."

Mobius laughs, "And I don't have the best judgment?"

"Considering you were asleep all day, no, I don't think so."

It's Mobius's turn to roll his eyes. He sighs and shakes his head, "I can't change what you believe, Lokes, but what happened to Kevin was not your fault and it wasn't Thors either."

Loki sighs, "And I suppose I can't change what you believe either."

Mobius chuckles, "Not this time."

"Guys," Sean yells from the car, "let's go." Then, Loki thinks it's Love, honks the horn, holding it down for a long twenty seconds.

"We should go," Loki says.

But before he can go forward, Mobius grabs his arm. "My car is on the other side. But I want you to talk to me tonight. This feast...if it's too much, just drag us away. We'll figure something out. You're not alone, Lokes."

Loki looks down at his soggy shoes. Mobius's hand is on his arm and it fills Loki with warmth and comfort. More than it has any right to. "Can I come home with you?" He whispers.

"Yeah," Mobius says, "I would like that."

************************************

Loki has come to learn that feasting in Mobius's house is not something that can be done. Not in Asgardian tradition anyway. As soon as they got back from the hospital, Thor ran to the store and got as much food as he could for the feast. Roasts, potatoes, nuts, grapes, turkeys, hams. When he got back Mobius and his boys had big eyes. Mobius stated he doesn't have enough room for five roasts and a turkey and a ham. He also suggested saving the turkey for Christmas eve since it would need thawing. He barely convinced Thor to put it away. Barely.

Thor and Kevin proceeded to take the ham and one roast to Ben to cook and Loki has no doubt they'll be hearing from his wife later this week. Whether it'll be about Kevin, the food or both is up to debate.

Making the food is an excellent distraction, though, as it keeps Kevin busy and Loki's self-deprecrating thoughts away. Mobius stays close as they chop potatoes, fill bowls and pray the oven doesn't explode or that the roast gets cooked. That isn't much of a concern once it hits 5:00 and Thor decides lightning can work faster than their oven on the other three.

This whole time Loki is trying to shove Odin's voice down in the recesses of his brain or trying to see if Mobius's eyes are still glowing. He catches Loki a couple of times but doesn't say anything until all the kids are out watching Thor cook the other roasts. He washes his hands and then says to Loki, "Lokes?"

Loki pauses in peeling the last of the potatoes. "Yes?"

"I'm okay."

Loki looks up, surprised by the simple statement. "I can see that."

"Can you?" Loki is almost offended by Mobius's pressure in that sentence. "Cause you keep looking at me like my head is about to fall off."

"You didn't wake up this morning," Loki says abruptly, surprising himself. Mobius stares. He takes a deep breath and plunges on. "It scared the kids. It scared me. Then your son goes to the hospital under my watch. It's the feast of Odin and I feel awful. So excuse me if looking to make sure you're not going to keel over in two seconds bothers you!"

"Loki-" but before Mobius can continue the fire alarm goes off. They jump and look around frantically only to realize there's smoke coming out of the oven. Mobius curses. They both run to the oven and choke when they pull it open and more smoke pours out of it. Loki shuts the oven off while Mobius grabs the roast and throws it on the stove.

The alarm is still going off but despite that Mobius and Loki collapse on the floor, their adrenaline lowering. Loki pants. He can't keep having these problems. It's going to kill him.

But as Loki lays there dreading all of this, Mobius starts laughing. It starts as the chuckle and slowly builds until he's curled on his side unable to breathe. Loki stares at him, fear in his belly. What is wrong with Mobius? First the hospital now this?

"What drugs did you get into?" Loki asks and that seems to start Mobius's laughing fit all over again. By now Thor and the kids are back, staring at them on the floor, with the alarm blaring and Mobius losing his mind.

"Uh, what's going-" Then Thor spots his roast and pales. "My roast!"

He runs to it, seeing how black it is. Sean says, "I'll get the alarm," then leaves, pulling Kevin and Love with him.

"What happened?" Thor asks, desperate.

"It's a roast," Mobius huff's out, "it got roasted," before laughing all over again.

Thor looks at Loki in a panic. "What's wrong with him?"

Loki throws up his hands, frustrated. "Does it look like I know, Thor?"

The doorbell rings and Loki practically flies to it. He must look terrible cause when he opens the door Bens eyes pop out of his head. He has the ham, smelling glorious.

"Uh, is everything all right here?" He asks as the alarm screams on.

"Just fine. Super dandy. Thanks for the ham now go get the roast." Then Loki takes the ham and slams the door shut, Mobius howling all the way.

********************************

It's 7:30 by the time they are finally ready to eat and Loki is feeling even worse than before. The one roast is inedible. The ham is fine but the grapes are half rotted and Ben's roast is not all the way cooked. Mobius has long since calm down but he's still too happy for Loki's black mood

As they sit down, the kids sit together on one side, Thor is at the head and Loki by him. Thor smiles at him, then raises a cup.

"To Odin, the all-father of the nine realms, a king and a father, who did his best for his people and for the whole of Asgard. Let his memory be cherished and this feast dedicated to him as a remembrance of his devotion and love. To my father," he looks at Loki, "our father. Valhalla keep him forever."

Thor drinks. Mobius and Loki stay silent but the kids nod and dig in. As Mobius starts to eat, Loki notices his eyes flash. He quickly grabs the salad he threw together and shoves some onto Mobius's plate. Mobius jumps back shocked. "What the-"

"Your eyes," Loki says, "they flashed. More greens."

"Just because they flashed it doesn't mean I need a salad. Maybe I need protein."

"Or vitamins."

"Or sugar. You know I need sugar, too."

"You ate a whole candy bar an hour ago. You don't need sugar."

The kids are starting to giggle and Thor is looking at them unused. That old feeling of judgment and inadequacy rises up and Loki quickly puts the salad bowl down.

Loki tries to eat. He really does. So does Mobius, but he's eating slower than normal. He sees Loki peering at him and he mouths, 'I'm fine', before eating a nut.

After dinner, Loki magics the dishes clean then Thor regals the kids with stories of Odin's triumphs. Mobius and Loki sit on the couch closest to the window, watching as Frost starts covering the windshields.

Loki knows many of these stories by heart. The dark elves, the submission of realms only edited to include Hela. He doesn't mention Jotunhiem which Loki is grateful for.

"What about Sleipnir?"

Loki's shocked by that question. He turns to Kevin who is on the floor, staring at Thor. "Aunt Sylvie bought us a Norse mythology book and it says that Odin rides an eight legged horse. Is that true?"

Loki feels bile fill his mouth. He looks at his legs, happy to tune this out. Thor takes a long moment to answer this. "Well," he says cautiously, "yes, it is true..."

Sean asks one this time, "It says it's Loki's kid?" Loki hears Sean turn to him. "Is that true?"

Loki looks at Sean and he almost throws up, adding to the burnt, probably growing mold, carpet.

"Sean," Mobius says, a sternness to his tone. 

"It's fine, Mobius," Loki says quietly. He sits up and faces the boy. "It is true. Sleipnir is my child."

"How?" Love asks as she and Kevin turn to Loki. Now all eyes are on him. He hasn't thought about this in a long time. His chest burns. His eyes itch. But he presses forward.

"Odin needed help protecting Asgard. I volunteered, hoping to help in some way." To be accepted. To be loved. "In order to do so, I had to lure away a big strong stallion. Because I did, Sleipnir came into being."

"Is that why Odin rides him?" Kevin asks, "Because he's noble?"

Something thick and disgusting lodges in Loki's throat. Tears hit his eyes. "No.. not exactly," Loki manages before the memory overwhelms him. Of coming home with his baby horse, hoping he did enough in his Father's eyes. Instead, he saw Sleipnir and demanded he be put away or worse killed. Loki pled. He pled so hard that Odin would leave Sleipnir alone. The horses care would be on him. He would do whatever to keep his baby alive. Odin agreed as long as Loki kept him hidden.

Years later, Odin appeared as Loki was grooming Sleipnir one day. Loki's son was big, a giant mountainous horse. Fast, too. Loki would ride him at night so no one would see him per Odin's request. But Odin saw how mighty Sleipnir had become. The next morning, Sleipnir was gone and when Loki went to find Odin, there he was atop Sleipnir like he was his all along. Loki was forbidden from interacting with the horse again. Told if he did, they'd both be whipped. The Asgardians weren't good to his son. Not one of them. Now, he's dead.

"Loki!" He turns to Mobius who is shaking him hard, a worried look on his face. Loki's breathing hard, panicking. 

"I'm going outside," he blurts, then speed walks out of the room to the front door to the steps where he sits under the porch light and sobs.

Loki doesn't know when Mobius appears or how long he is there, but when he sees him, Loki sobs even harder. Mobius doesn't touch him. He knows not to and Loki appreciates it. He doesn't think he could bare it right now.

Loki is hurting. Everything hurts from his head to his toes. Phantom pains fill his stomach and he curls in on himself. So there he cries while Mobius looks at the stars. He hears the door open but Mobius waves away whoever it is and they leave. Loki is grateful.

Finally when Loki can somewhat breathe again, he whispers, "Did he love me?"

"What?" Mobius asks. 

Loki raises his head so Mobius can hear him better. "Did he love me? Ever? Just once? Did he love me?"

Mobius is silent for a long moment before he huffs out, "I don't know."

Frustration sears him. "How could you not know?"

"I studied you. Anything I know about Odin is from your interactions with him. So I don't know. I'm not in any position to say if he did or not."

Loki wants to argue but he's right. How can Mobius know Odin's heart? He knows Loki and that is a lot as it is. He sighs and curls back into his ball. "I have these moments," Loki says, voice muffled, "where I think maybe he did. I mean, he loved Sylvie. He told her about her heritage when she was young. So maybe he loved me and I'm just not seeing clearly. I'm biased." Loki hiccups. "But then I remember all the bad Odin's. The ones who called me a whore, or a traitor or worthless and it's easier to believe he wasn't good."

Loki cries some more at that. Mobius doesn't say anything. He just listens and sits and looks at the stars. Loki doesn't look up until he hears Mobius's coat russell and he realizes he must be freezing.

"I'm sorry," Loki says immediately, "let's go in before you get sick."

Loki moves to stand but Mobius takes Loki's hand and pulls him back down. "Look at the stars with me."

"Mobius-"

"Shh," he says and Loki shuts up. "Odin is the worst. He didn't do right by you in any way. I wish I knew if he loved you, but I don't and I'm sorry. What I do know is this: you're strong. You're a good person deep under all the crap Odin convinced you you were. You love bigger than you have the capacity to do. You're a frost giant that has saved multiverse after multiverse and," he looks Loki in the eye, "you are the man I love. Maybe I'm extremely biased but Odin was a moron not to see how gifted you are. It's his loss."

Loki swallows hard. "You're biased in a million ways, but thank you."

"Always," Mobius teases. Then he looks to the stars again. "Tell me about andromeda. What world is that for you?"

Loki stares at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he's distracting him or ignoring everything. Loki goes with the former and scoots up next to him, putting his head on Mobius's shoulder and staring at the stars, too. They twinkle. The night moves on.

******************************

1 good thing about my day: Sledding with the boys.

1 good thing about myself: I make good pancakes.

Gratitude: Kevin is not permanently hurt. Mobius's easy forgiveness.

Chapter Text

Loki is up before anyone else. Probably because he didn't sleep a wink even though he got to sleep with Mobius. Mobius slept like a baby and Loki wonders how much of it is still from the tree.

So around 5:00 a.m. Loki goes to the kitchen, make some cocoa and sits at the table, letting time pass him by. He thinks about the tree, wondering when the magic will deplete enough that he has to go back. He thinks about Thor and his mother. He thinks about his new family and the insane reality that his life has become.

He loves this life. If he had gone back and spoke to the version of himself on Asgard several years ago he would have scoffed, called himself weak. He would have reacted a lot like Sylvie did. Maybe worse. Maybe better. This is all unreal. But it is real because Loki wakes up, the world never splinters to pieces and he is not back in the tree dreaming.

Before the anxiety comes, that this is actually just an illusion he created, he moves to the window and looks out at the snow. He feels the window. Cold. He counts the things he sees, here's, feels. It helps, but only a little bit.

Loki's heart aches and pulls at him. It's not for himself, but Mobius, for his connection to the tree, for killing him over and over, whether he meant to or not. He slams his cup down harder than he means to on the window seal. He wasn't wrong about frost giants having big hearts. It's no surprise Mobius wormed his way into it. Loki can't put into words how much Mobius means to him. So he could never tell Mobius until after the tree.

Loki could write a book. A whole book about Mobius and Mobius alone. Who he is would take several chapters. How Loki feels several more. And that would still never be enough.

Mobius makes him scared, happy, sad and everything in between. Loki would sacrifice everything all over again if it meant he would live. He has already done so. Loki doesn't know the how or when of his love for Mobius. But what he does know is that one day it will kill him. The one thing he hasn't learned yet is how long can a story go before it has to end?

"Loki?"

It's Sean. Loki glances at the oven. It's 7:00. He usually isn't up this early. He turns, "Yes, Sean?"

"Dad won't get up again."

Loki frowns, "He's still asleep?"

"No. He just won't get up."

Oh. Loki should have seen this coming. He knew Mobius was too giddy yesterday. He takes a sip, then says, "I'll get him. Let him rest a little longer. Do you want something to eat?"

Sean pulls out a chair. Loki goes and sits with him. Sean shakes his head, "No. I...I had a nightmare. I know you have them a lot so..."

Loki raises a brow. Sean has never opened to him about this before.

"What was it?" Loki asks, making sure there is no judgement in his tone. 

Sean fiddles with a crack in the table. They sit in the dark, giving each other space until he says, "Dad. He was...somewhere. I don't know. He was talking to you. But then, you started getting pulled away by vines or something." Loki let's go of his cup, but it doesn't go far. It doesn't startle Sean. Loki feels numb. "Dad started to disappear like a ghost."

It's Loki's dream. Sean is rehearsing his dream. Loki is starting to panic. " Then you were both gone and this man came and he-" Sean cuts off. 

Loki has to know. He's seen more than Loki has. "Sean-"

Sean shakes his head, tears on his face, "Fire. Everything was on fire."

Then he's sobbing. Loki's heaving so hard, he can't see straight. Somehow he manages to get to Sean and they hold each other. Hope he has to close his eyes for a moment. This can't be the future. It can't be. He won't let it.

"It's okay," Loki says, out of breath, "It's just a dream. That's all it is."

"Why are you crying?" Sean accuses as he hiccups.

Because his world is going to end in fire. But Loki doesn't say that. "Because nightmares aren't fun." Then after a beat, "Do you know who the man was?"

Sean shakes his head, hiccuping more, " no. He was masked. I don't know him."

Loki curses inwardly. That could be anyone. 

No. Loki can't think about this now. He'll text O.B. the first chance he gets and get this figured out. Check on the tree. But right now he needs to take care of Sean, then Mobius.

So he coaches Sean through some breathing exercises and sits with him until Thor comes down the stairs, Love on his arm. When he sees them, he pauses.

"Do you know how to make scrambled eggs?" Loki asks.

"I...yes."

"Good," Loki detaches himself from Sean, telling him it'll be okay, then goes to the stairs. "Make some. I'm going to go get Mobius."

*************************

The curtains are tightly shut when Loki enters the room. He must have got up and closed it when the sun started rising. Mobius lays in the middle of the bed, back to Loki, but he can tell from Mobius's breathing that he is awake.

Loki takes a deep breath and goes to the bed. He lays beside Mobius, letting the mattress sooth the crevices of his back. Mobius doesn't move. This has happened a couple times since they got back. It always stresses Loki out. He talked to Judy about how to help him. Listen, offer to help with daily tasks, remind Mobius he cares, do small activities.

While Loki is trying to come up with something to say, Mobius slowly moves onto his back and whispers, "I assume you want me to get up."

Loki blinks in surprise at the intensity in his voice. "I...want to help you," Loki says slowly, trying not to disturb the atmosphere.

He can practically feel Mobius's frustration. "I don't feel good, Loki."

Loki nod's. "I'm not forcing you to do anything."

"I know." It's quick, sharp. Loki doesn't take it personally. Mobius is silent for a long time before he sighs and reaches for Loki's hand. Loki takes it and they lie there in silence. There's a pounding downstairs. Kevin must be up. 

"I hate this," Mobius whispers, "I want to be with you and the kids but at the same time I want to curl up here and never wake up. I want to avoid you. And it isn't fair to you-"

"You can't help how you feel-"

"I know! And I hate it!"

He's angry and stressed and tired. Loki sighs and squeezes his hand. "We're not going to hate you if you take a day, Mobius."

"I took a day yesterday against my will."

"You don't have to be super involved. Love wants to make cookies and Sean wants to take them to the neighbors. You could sit at the table and watch. You don't have to interact. Or you could be in the living room and we'll let you taste test." Loki looks at Mobius. His brow is furrowed, angry. "Or you can be here and we'll check on you sometimes. Whatever you feel you need, we'll do."

Mobius looks anywhere but at Loki. His tight grip gets even tighter, white knuckled. Loki sees tears touch his eyes and his heart breaks. Mobius's words are forced as he says, "I really hate myself today, Loki."

Loki stretches an arm across Mobius's chest and burries himself into the man even though Mobius doesn't reciprocate. Mobius grabs his arm, holds it tight, and shakily, he says, "I love you."

Loki squeezes him, eyeing his wrist with the scar, which barely poking out of the sleeve. "Thank you for not giving up," Loki says in a choked whisper.

Mobius grasps Loki's meaning, twitching his wrist as he simply nods. They lay there a long time, letting the sun rise and sit over them through faded curtains. It's not until they hear dishes clanging and water running that Mobius sighs, and says, "Let's get up."

*******************************

Mobius takes a shower for a long time. When Loki tells the kids downstairs to let him be, Sean looks worried and he has to pull him to the side to tell him his dad is okay, he just needs a little space today.

"He got like that back when Mom left, too," Sean says, "sad and distant. Is there any way we can help him?"

Loki shakes his head, "If Mobius comes down to be with us, involve him in little things like taste testing or frosting. Don't pressure or force anything on him. Tell that to Kevin, too."

Sean nods and runs to the kitchen, past Thor who stands in threshold confused. "What's happening?"

"Mobius needs a little space today," he says. As Loki walks past Thor, he pats his shoulder and hisses, "Don't crowd him."

Back in the kitchen, Kevin, Sean and Love are climbing onto the counter, getting bowls out and a mixer and spoons. Loki gets the cookie sheets while Thor gets the ingredients that stretches from flour, eggs, and sugar to sprinkles, chocolate chips and others.

Loki and Thor don't know how to make cookies. That much they realize as they stand greasing the cookie sheets while the kids start mixing ingredients to create a soft dough.

"Where did you learn to make cookies so well?" Thor asks.

"Mom taught us," Kevin says, cracking an egg, "she loves cookies."

"Is that why you're making cookies? " Loki asks uneasily, "Cause of your mom?"

"Yes," Sean says, "and no. We like cookies. We like giving them to people."

"That's honorable," Thor says, "I can see others do the same for you."

Loki eyes the one piece of cupboard that's covered in treats from neighbors they don't even know. Thor is not wrong there. 

There's a steady thump on the stairs and Loki expects to see Mobius come in with unconcentrated eyes and a hard frown but instead, his eyes are soft and his smile big. But behind the softness he see tiredness and fear.

Sean and Kevin's faces light up. "Look," Kevin says, showing Mobius one of the bowls with eggs and flour mixed, "Mom's cookies!"

Mobius squints for a moment. He doesn't remember the cookies but he nods anyway. "Wash your hands," he says, "none of us want salmonella."

Kevin giggles but does as he says. Loki watches Mobius as he grabs a chair and brings it to the end of the counter. He's avoiding looking at him, probably because he knows Loki would be on him in a second if he sees something wrong. Instead of staring, Loki takes a deep breath and finishes greasing his pan, reminding himself to give Mobius space and to let him choose what he wants to do.

Mobius must remember Loki's words, too, because he watches the kids mix and roll out the dough, giving comments here and there. Thor and Loki are charged with oven duty which really doesn't give them much to do but the ambiance of the moment fills Loki with dangerous sentimentality. The sweet smell of dough and baking cookies. Love stealing balls of dough every chance she gets. The sounds of Kevin and Sean laughing as Mobius makes the frosting and when he mixes it, gets it all over himself. The feeling of the dough in his hands when the kids have him roll it or make shapes. Lastly the taste of the big ball of dough that Love sneaks Loki when she has to go to the bathroom. In turn, Loki lets her eat all the remainder of the icing when Thor goes to wrap the cookies in different plates.

It's late afternoon by the time they're done and cleaned up. Mobius is covered in icing which seems to have calmed him some as he doesn't look as fearful. 

"What did you think of icing the cookies?" Loki asks as he tries to dust flour off his black sweater. 

Mobius shrugs, "Therapeutic. It took my mind off things."

Loki nods at one of the plates of cookies specifically saved for them and their guests tomorrow. "Do you want one?"

Mobius eyes the cookie for a moment before shaking his head. "No." Loki frowns. Mobius sees it and sighs. "Can I have water?"

"Sure," Loki says and when he comes back, it's a gallon water bottle he carries that Mobius takes one look at and has to put his head down for a second. Loki can't decide if it's a good or bad thing until he sees a hint of a smile.

*******************************

Loki's anxiety about their guests tomorrow is heightening. Food. Rooms. Gifts. It's making him want to stab something. So instead of conjuring a dagger and stabbing Thor he focuses on Sean and Kevin who are leading them from house to house. They are all carrying two plates each and have visited several houses already, relieving Mobius and him of their plates. They visit Old Mrs. Dabbler who has been widowed several years and invites them in for cocoa.

They saw Ben who traded them a cheese ball. There was the Dower family who was weary of them and the family whose names Loki can't remember but he knows they are getting divorced. They all say hi to 'Don' who doesn't remember any of them and is hiding behind all of the group because he refuses to admit he doesn't want to leave the house.

So they walk on from house to house and Loki will be honest. It's nice to see the happy surprises on people's faces as they drop off cookie after cookie, wishing others a merry Christmas. 

But as they're going home, just entering their yard, Mobius slips and falls flat on his back. He doesn't get up. 

"Dad?" Kevin asks in concern. 

"Loki," Mobius raises his hand and beckons Loki toward him, "come here please."

Loki gets the signal and turns to Thor and the others. He waves them away. "We'll be in soon."

Thor nods and ushers the kids inside, Sean nervously watching as Loki sits on the icy concrete by Mobius who stares up at the sky. Loki is relieved to see Mobius's eyes are not glowing indicating his fall hurt him. The sky darkens as they sit. The street lamp turns on above them. This day has gone quickly and Loki is quite happy with how it turned out though he can't say Mobius thinks the same thing.

Mobius sighs as he slowly sits up, "I'm dreading tomorrow."

"I am, too," Loki says, watching as the living room light turns on and the kids start flipping through channels. 

"We shouldn't dread it, though, should we? They're all our friends. There's no reason they're going to judge us because of some stupid mishap."

"Well," Loki says slowly, "Sylvie might."

"Ugh," Mobius groans, flopping back on the ice and rubbing his face, "Sylvie!" He lays there for a long moment before saying, "Maybe I'll invite Ben over for an hour or two. Just to help set up."

At the sound of their neighbor's name, Loki feels uneasy. "You don't think we can do it?" He asks.

"I'm sure we could," Mobius says, "but having extra hands would ease my mind a little bit."

Something ugly festers in Loki's chest. Does Mobius think he can't handle this? That he's not good enough to get them through tomorrow? "We'll be okay," Loki snarks. 

"Dad," Kevin calls from the front door, "we can't find the movie we want."

Mobius takes a deep breath before slowly getting to his feet. "Okay, okay." When Loki doesn't follow, Mobius turns back. "You coming?"

Loki waves him on. "I'll be in in a moment."

Mobius stares at him for a second. The concern and tiredness war until he feels heavy, nods, then walks away. Loki sits for a while, staring at this house he has come to call home.

Mobius loves him. He has his brother and friends. He has everything he never thought he'd have. And yet...

And yet he feels as if it's not enough. He's not doing enough. Does Mobius think that? That he doesn't do enough or that Ben does do enough?

It's stupid. Loki knows it's stupid. But as he watches Mobius get on the phone as he scrolls through channels, an old bitter ache starts. He'll do everything in the world tomorrow and Mobius will realize they are just fine on their own. The need to prove himself is powerful.

He despises it.

****************************

Feasts are overrated. Loki has always thought so, especially around Jul when they have one nearly every day. Today is a return of the sun's feast. Now, happily, this feast doesn't entail much. Whether it's because they're all tired or it's because their still stuffed from last night is debatable.

By the time Loki comes inside, there is a big stack of pancakes, the remaining grapes in a small bowl, green beans (because Mobius is strict about getting the kids to eat correct foods and a feast like this about the sun returning and plants growing is a great way to get them to eat veggies), and more eggs. All kinds of eggs from sunny side up to scrambled to hard-boiled. Weird mix of food but quite accurate for their little family.

Thor gives his spiel about what the day means and how important it is they honor winter solstice because it means new life and beginnings to which he cheered Loki and his family and also Love, his reason to keep going. It would have been sweet if Love hadn't called him sappy. To that he glared at Loki like he made her say that. Not his fault if they're too much alike.

The kids chose for movie night the Christmas Carol which Thor and Loki know nothing about. Mobius stated it's a classic and he had an original copy back at the TVA. Signed even because he admired the author. Loki has to fight another wave of jealousy. This one is even more stupid than the first. He could write a book...if he really wanted to...

Loki shoves it down before Mobius can notice his dissatisfaction. And truly Mobius's taste in the story is understandable when Loki realizes he probably sees Loki as Scrooge. As the movie gets to the Ghost of Christmas Future, Loki leans into Mobius and whispers, "If I'm Scrooge, then who are the three ghosts and the Marley who change me?"

Mobius glares at him. "I never said you were Scrooge."

"You like the Christmas Carol and you love me. The correlation was obvious."

Mobius rolls his eyes but grabs Loki's hand letting him know they're no hard feelings. Frankly, it's not the most relaxing movie night. Loki can't snuggle in with Mobius or giggle with the kids. He feels awkward showing such affections in front of Thor though he's sure Thor wouldn't care. That isn't the worst part of it, though.

The worst part was Mobius who never lifted an arm or said a word, making his hand in Loki's all the more important. Loki chalks it up to his mood today but what if it isn't that? What if it is everything that has happened has finally fallen on his head and he realizes this isn't right? Therapy, burnt food, damaged kids. He's starting to wake up to reality. To the fact Loki is not as great as Mobius thinks he is.

So as Scrooge yells on his window and gets a duck for Tiny Tim, Loki grips Mobius's hand tighter and he thinks of all the ways he will be better. That he will be enough for Mobius. That he will be exactly what Mobius needs. His or Loki's mental health be damned.

***************************

Loki is in bed before Mobius is which is odd because Loki hates going to bed as much if not more than the kids do. But he needs today to be over, for this pain in his chest to stop.

So when Mobius comes in, he looks absolutely confused. "I thought you were going back to your bed," he says.

"Do you want me to go?" Loki asks, his stomach lurching. He feels even worse when Mobius hesitates. He starts to get up, but Mobius stops him. 

"No, it's fine, Lokes. It's...just in case the boys need something..."

"....go to the vent. I know," Loki says.

Mobius nods and gets into bed, too, turning off his lamp. The pitch dark slowly fades as the light of the moon creates shapes on the wall.

"Are you okay?" Mobius suddenly asks.

"Are you?" Loki asks. 

Mobius is quiet for a long time. He's debating whether to talk about it. Loki knows it. He thanks the Norns Tyler gave Mobius the challenge that he did.

"I don't know," Mobius finally says, "I feel like this day has been one of our better days. I liked the feast. Even though I can't really feel it, it's nice to know it's there. The new day. New chances. New life. But I also feel like I didn't do much to be a part of anything."

"You were there. Just your presence made the boys happy."

"I keep telling myself that. It's easier to say than believe."

Loki doesn't say anything to that because it's too true. "And you," Mobius presses. 

"I don't know," Loki replies, "I'm feeling...inadequate."

"Why?"

Loki doesn't want to discuss this, but Mobius is the one person he can tell things to, that he needs to tell these things too. He shrugs. "I feel.. nervous about tomorrow. And..." He can't say their relationship. That sounds needy. But it's never bothered Mobius before. But what if it does this time? Does Mobius's harder days make him more honest? "And about...Ben being over. Doesn't he have other things to do?"

"He won't be here forever," Mobius says, "his wife has some family outing planned. Which reminds me, did we take the turkey out to thaw?"

Loki snaps his fingers. "Done."

There's a thud downstairs and Mobius flinches. "Thanks," he murmurs.

"You're welcome."

"Are you going and getting Sylvie tomorrow?" 

"Yes. I will get her in the morning. She'll be happy to help with the food."

"Good." They are silent for a moment. The tree shakes outside, making shadows move. "Loki. I'm...happy we get to do this." Loki looks at Mobius. "But I wish it wasn't a stressful as it is."

"Don't worry," Loki says, pushing on his inadequacy button, "I'll take care of everything. You won't have to worry about a thing."

Mobius chuckles, "Okay. As long as you promise to keep the mischief to a minimum."

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." Movies laughs a real laugh but Loki can't enjoy it because as he finally goes to sleep all he can hear, think, feel is 'be better tomorrow'. Be better tomorrow. BE BETTER TOMORROW!

********************************

1 good thing about my day: Cookies

1 good thing about me: I have a loving heart. I am

Gratitude: Mobius.

Chapter Text

Loki wakes up to whistling. It's not Mobius's whistling, nor is it Thor's. It's too dry, too airy. He jerks up. The sun shines through the windows. Mobius is gone, his side of the bed made. No...

Please don't tell him he's slept in. Please don't-

The little clock on Mobius's nightstand glows 10:00.

Loki throws off the covers and runs. He snaps his fingers twice as he does, making the bed and putting himself in an ugly sweater Mobius gave him months ago to prepare for this day.

"Kevin! Sean!" He yells as he flies down the stairs. "Mobius! I slept in! I'm so-" Loki cuts off as he swings into the kitchen. Ben stands at the oven, stirring some vegetable and looking at the turkey in the oven.

He spots Loki and grins, "Good morning, Loki. Late night?"

Loki scowls. "Where's Mobius?"

"Went to get your TVA friends. He asked me to watch the food."

"Why didn't he get me?"

"He said you were such a big help yesterday that you deserve to sleep in." Loki rolls his eyes. Sure. That's it. Ben goes over to the cupboard and takes out some flour. "He said if you woke up before he gets back to go get Sylvie. The kids are out with Thor getting gifts, so you don't have to watch them."

Loki crosses his arms. "And I suppose I'm just supposed to let you stay in this house alone cooking our food."

Ben looks confused, as if he doesn't understand why that's a problem. "Yeah... that's the plan."

Loki glares at him. "If Mobius hadn't asked me to go, I wouldn't leave at all." He grabs an apple off the table. Ben goes to protest but Loki takes a bite before he can argue. "I'll be back soon."

As Loki time slips, Ben screams. It's not satisfactory enough but it will do.

*********************************

Loki bangs on Sylvie's apartment door until she opens it, bleary eyed and hair all askew. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She hisses. 

Loki pushes past her to her slightly messy apartment. "Good morning to you, too."

"I was in the middle of sleeping, you know," she growls, nearly tripping over her trailing bathrobe tie. 

"You have no idea what being interrupted in the middle of sleep is," Loki says as he goes in her bathroom, pops out her bathroom bag and starts shoving her cosmetics in it.

"What are you doing?" She asks, watching.

Loki barely looks up at her as he ushers her to her bedroom. "Come on. It's time to go. Up, up, up!"

"What has gotten into you?" Sylvie hisses as he grabs a duffel bag and shoves her hairbrush in it. 

"It's Christmas Eve and Mobius asked me to get you," Loki says, magicing some of her clothes into the bag and then struggling to zip it up. When it doesn't, he magic's it, too.

When he looks at Sylvie, he sees how messed up her hair, makeup and clothes really are and snaps, "Look presentable, will you."

Loki knows he says the wrong thing when her nostrils flare and the next thing he knows he's outside on his butt with the door locked behind him. As her magic settles, she yells through the door, "I'll take my sweet time getting ready, thank you. And if you come in here again I'll send you to Abudabi and go even slower!"

She keeps to her word, too. It's difficult to not just magic her out here and go despite whatever state she's in but that would cause even more problems and Loki doesn't need her snapping at Mobius if he ticks her off too much.

So Loki sits on her step, watching as people walk by, looking at him strangely. It takes everything in him not to snap at them, too.

Finally, after what feels like hours later, Sylvie comes out with her little time stone. She is in an ugly sweater with bells and lights all over it. She carries her duffel bag and glares. "Well. Are we going?"

Loki glares at her, but stands. "Mobius won't be happy if we're late."

Sylvie rolls her eyes. "I highly doubt we're late. Besides," she opens the time door and before stepping through, says, "if you've been acting like this all morning I think he wants a break."

Sylvie's gone before Loki can argue. So he bites his tongue instead and follows.

******************************

Something is wrong. That much is certain when Loki comes through the portal to the front door of the house. As Sylvie opens the door, he looks up to where the sun should be. It's not there but behind the house, far away from a 10:30 sun.

"Sylvie," Loki hisses, "what time did you send us to?"

She glares at Loki, "Next time you'll think about interrupting a woman and touching off her belongings, won't you."

He follows her in, pushing out a pill of anger. "I should time skip you back to that apartment and leave you there."

"Spare me," she says, stomping the snow off her feet, "I think Mobius can live a couple of hours without you."

She's already halfway down the hall when Loki yells, "That's not the point, Sylvie."

But as he goes after her, Mobius steps out from the kitchen, and judging from his grumpy face and the Grinch sweater, he's not happy. "Where have you been?"

Loki points at Sylvie, "Sylvie took us-"

"You know what, never mind. Get in here." Then Mobius is back in the kitchen leaving stunned. Is he angry with him? Why didn't he listen? "Loki!"

"I'm coming," Loki says, worry filling him. And anger. So much anger. He looks at the oven for the time as he enters. 3:00. He grinds his teeth. He's going to strangle Sylvie. 

"We could just turn up the temperature."

Loki turns to the table where D-90, O.B. and Mobius stand. O.B. is in a techie looking sweater while D-90 is in a T-shirt with a black apron on. Loki's warring between finding the sight odd even if D-90 was a baker in another life and taking Mobius away from him because he shouldn't be that close to those biceps. Whether because D-90 could kill him with them or seduce him is something Loki forces himself not to look into.

"It might make the turkey dry, or worse, break the oven, " D-90 says. 

"What's going on?"

The trio turns. O.B. is the only one who lights up. "Hi, Loki! We're just having a problem with the turkey. "

D-90 scoffs, "Less the turkey, more the oven."

"What?" Loki asks.

Mobius sighs, "The oven is about ready to kick the bucket. Ben is gone so I can't ask him to finish the turkey. We're trying to see if we can make it go faster or maybe slower and eat later." Mobius looks tired. His eyes are red. He's seems done already.

Loki looks at the oven. "So the turkey just needs to be finished?"

D-90 nods. "Yeah. It just needs a little more juice."

Okay. Loki can do that. Nothing a little magic can't solve. As he moves to the oven, he feels the trio's eyes on him. "Loki," Mobius asks, worry in his voice, "what are you doing?"

"Finishing the turkey," Loki says. He lays his hands on either side of the oven and puts as much magic into it as he dares. "Heat up. Come on. Heat up."

Mobius turns the light to the oven on and O.B., D-90 and Mobius look in. "Oh, wow," O.B. says, "it's working. And fast, too."

"Too fast." D-90 stands and pokes Loki's arm, "You're cooking it too fast."

"I heard you," Loki growls, watching as the temperature gauge on the oven goes up. "I'm trying." Slow down, Loki, slow down.

Mobius stands, too. "It's fine, D. It'll be done and can just sit in there and be warm."

"It'll be dry."

"So. I like a dry bird."

"Uh, guys," O.B. says, tapping on the glass. Loki's anxiety rises at his tapping. He has to do this right!..why is the temperature so high? "I think it's going to-"

There's a loud popping sound. O.B. yells and rams into Loki right as something hits the glass window of the oven. Loki yells in surprise and trips backward but his grip is too tight on the stoves sides and as he falls...it comes with him. He yanks the hood off the stove as he falls and in the process smacks O.B. who gets trapped between him and the hood. He trips over a chair and they both go down. Loki hits his head on the wall. His neck pops with the impact.

"Ow," Loki moans, throwing the hood away. O.B. groans and rolls off him. Next to them, his glasses fall, glass broke and framed snapped in half.

"O.B.!" Mobius shouts. He's down by O.B. in seconds, grabbing his shoulders, "are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," O.B. stutters. He feels around for his glasses until he turns to Loki and he feels sick. 

"Oops..."

There's a big red scrape across his forehead and the bridge of his nose. O.B. feels one part of his glasses and lifts it. He squints and then frowns when he sees how they are snapped in half.

"O.B.," Loki whispers, pushing himself up to sitting position, "I'm so sorry. Here, I'll fix-"

O.B. and puts them down. "It's fine. I have glasses at the TVA. I'll just go get them later." But he doesn't sound like it's fine. In fact, he sounds downright upset.

"Really, O.B., I can-"

D-90 clears his throat. The three turn and Loki's jaw drops. The turkey is in his hands, charred black and bits and pieces are in the oven, over the ground and in the pan, exploded.

Mobius's jaw drops, too. "What?" O.B. asks. "What happened?"

"Hope you have a backup plan, Mobius, " D-90 says, flinging the pan onto the stove where it sits unevenly over the burners, "because dinner is fried."

***************************

It's Christmas Eve.

It's also the eleventh day of Jul or Hygge meaning to be away from the world. Where we find comfort and busyness in the everyday world. It's the one day where royalty is just like everyone else. Or at least that's how it was on Asgard. This entails playing games, reading and drinking hot chocolate.

After the incident in the kitchen, Mobius essentially cast him out, saying to take O.B. to the family room and ask Sylvie and B to come in. When all else fails, Sylvie and B are the answer apparently.

"Go tell everyone about Jul," Mobius had said, "show them what we are doing today."

Essentially he told Loki to get out and stay out. As he leads O.B. to the family room, he's internally screaming. This was not how this day was supposed to go. As they enter the living room, O.B. calls out, "B, Sylvie, Mobius wants you in the kitchen."

Sylvie's sitting on the arm of B's chair, chewing gum. She looks up at them and grins, "You owe me ten bucks."

B slaps down her book, a look of disbelief on her face. "Are you kidding me?" Then she sees O.B. "What happened?"

O.B. jumps in, "Loki hit me with the stove."

"It was an accident," Loki jumps in. Thor starts laughing from the couch and Loki points at him, "shut up or I'll seal your lips."

Sylvie curses and stands, "Looks like we're damage control. Let's go see what the 'men' messed up this time."

As she passes Loki, he hisses, "I'll get you back for this."

"Uh-huh," she scoffs, then her and B are gone. Loki flinches when he hears B curse like a sailor. Kevin and Sean look up and Love giggles.

After Loki puts O.B. in the chair B was just in, he scans the room. Thor is on the couch while the kids are on the floor. They pushed the coffee table to Thor and are playing Monopoly on it. Casey is in the corner playing with some cards.

Loki recognizes it has solitaire, something Casey would have played when he was in prison. That makes him feel nervous and he makes a quick scan of their belongings to make sure he hasn't swiped anything.

"I take it you've explained this day of Jul," Loki asks, watching as O.B. grabs the book B-15 had been reading. It's ironic that it's the very book he wrote on another timeline. He can hardly see it, squinting as he is but he seems content.

"Yes," Thor says, "we needed something to distract the guests until dinner is done." There is another curse from the kitchen than a loud crash. Thor winces. "Are we having dinner?"

Loki groans, "There will be dinner. Just...no turkey."

Thor's frown is so big it could touch the ground. 

"So what are we eating?"

Loki looks down at the kids who are looking up at him with big eyes and siggs, "Well...I, uh, I don't know."

Love gives him this look that honestly should belong on a teenager. Thor slaps his leg. "She looks at me like that all the time. Can't wait until she's a teenager."

The sarcasm is thick today. Loki looks at their small bough that travel from the kitchen here, making a small tree. Gifts lay under them, scattered with name tags and bows. There are several new ones, badly wrapped no doubt from the kids.

Loki groans in falls into the seat beside Thor. "I was supposed to help today. Instead it takes forever to get Sylvie here and then I destroy our oven. I can't timeslip and fix it because Mobius will know and I don't want to argue-"

"You're trying to hard," Thor says.

"What?"

Thor moves his piece to a property that he quickly buys and sends the kids arguing. He turns to Loki, smiling, "You are too worried just like you always have been."

"This is kind of important, Thor."

"The more you worry, the less likely it will work out." Thor takes a book out from under his arm that Loki hadn't noticed before. "Calm down a little. Enjoy life. Read a book."

He sets it in Loki's lap. He reads the title. Self-improvement for dummies. 

"Bugger off!" Loki screams and throws it at Thor. He's already gone by the time Thor recovers and is yelling for him to come back.

Loki goes out the door and slams it shut, popping himself on the step and letting himself fume. This isn't right. He told Mobius he'd help and he hasn't done a thing. He's done the opposite! Why is he this way? Why does this keep happening? Why, why-

"You guys have come a long way."

Loki jumps so hard snow falls off the roof. Casey settles beside him a big grin on his face. " Valhalla, Casey," Loki gasps.

Casey continues as if he hadn't just scared the crap out of the god of mischief. "From the Luke and Leia Judas kiss to threatening each other over everything. You guys are really something."

"Luke and Leia Judas kiss?" Loki asks, rearranging his hair.

"Yeah. You know, star wars. The twins kissed each other. But then Sylvie Judas kissed you and kicked you back to us-"

"Okay, okay," Loki steps in, feeling gross, "don't remind me. Why are you bringing that up?"

Casey shrugs, "I don't know. I just like watching Sylvie and Mobius interact. I can't ever tell if Mobius wants to throttle her or not when she's around you."

Loki rolls his eyes, "We all have our stupid moments, Casey. That kiss being one of them."

Casey looks up at the trees, "I wonder if I'm a good kisser. I could find myself and-"

"Okay," Loki hisses, "move on. Why are you out here?"

"It's supposed to be a day to enjoy life right," Casey says, "I'm enjoying reminiscing while looking at the snow with you."

"Let's not reminisce about my past mistakes then, okay," Loki says.

Casey chuckles but nods. "Okay."

Loki wants to argue his point but he's tired of this conversation and Casey is not someone he has to explain everything to. So they sit in silence for a long time. Storm clouds overshadow Cleveland and snow slowly starts to fall.

It's quite relaxing. Casey has a fascination with it that keeps it entertaining. When it's about dark, Thor opens the door. Casey and Loki turn. Thor looks concerned that Casey looks half froze but he moves on when the wind starts blowing.

"Dinner is served."

***************************

This is not dinner. Well...it's half a dinner. Before Loki destroyed the oven, Ben, D-90 and Mobius had managed to finish up a bowl of potatoes, vegetables and apple pie. Then to add to the weirdness, there is McDonald's and poptarts because somebody let Thor in the kitchen and he thought it was a good mix.

Loki will hand it to him though. If today is about living the ordinary simple life, poptarts and McDonald's are a great way to show it. So, they have dinner, all ten of them, splitting the pie in little slices, each taking handful of fries from two bags, a couple burgers and a spoonful of vegetables and potatoes.

They eat in silence mostly. The conversation comes from O.B. and Casey who had nothing to do with the dinner and the kids who are loudly talking about how weird the grown ups are acting. Loki envies them. They have nothing to worry about. To them this dinner is just another dinner. They get fries and pop-tarts. The world has been made for them. They don't have a kjaereste stirring his food around, hardly eating and a sister who keeps giving them the stink eye.

O.B. looks down the table and asks, "What do you have to drink, Mobius?"

Mobius curses, "I knew I forgot something."

Loki stands so fast his chair topples, making a loud cracking noise on the hardwood of the dining room. He winces and is grateful they hardly eat in there. "I got it," he says and runs to the kitchen.

As Loki does, Mobius calls after him, "Ben got us some sparkling water. It should be in the door of the fridge!"

"Got it!"

The kitchen is an absolute mess, with ingredients everywhere and the oven toren apart. No doubt O.B. will fix it as soon as he gets his glasses. Loki hits the cupboards first, taking down ten small glasses. He hears her before she speaks with as loud as her sweater is, coming down the hall and stopping outside the door.

"What are you doing?" Sylvie asks, arms crossed glaring from her place on the threshold.

"Getting drinks. What does it look like?"Loki counts the glasses. He missed one. 

"You know that's not what I mean."

"I'm fine." Loki has to reach clear to the back of the cupboard to get the last cup.

"You're acting like a psycho," Sylvie hisses.

Loki puts the cup down way harder than he means to. "Whose fault is that?"

As he goes to the fridge, Sylvie follows, scowling, "Don't you blame me for your mental breakdown. I told you to stop worrying about everything."

Loki rolls his eyes and grabs the fridge handle. Sylvie grabs it, too, and slams it shut before Loki can open it. He glares, "Move, Sylvie."

"No."

"Now."

"No! Let me help!"

"So you can show your the 'superior Loki.' I don't think so."

Her jaw drops, "You really have lost your mind."

Loki tugs at the door. She shoves it back. "Let go "

"No."

"Sylvie, let go."

"Not until you you let me help serve the drinks."

"No!"

"Do you really think Mobius is just going to leave and everyone is going to hate you just because I hand them a drink?"

"Get out of my way, Sylvie. This is your last chance."

"And I said-"

This entire time they are pushing and pulling on the door, back and forth until this moment. Loki pulls as hard as he can while Sylvie yanks it the other direction.

"-No!"

The door rips off the fridge, taking Loki and Sylvie into the table behind them. The door and them land on it, breaking it with their combined weight. The table goes to the floor and rams into the oven, pieces flying. Food from the door, pop, sauces, the sparkling water, too, hits the floor, some glass objects exploding leaving a mess. Sylvie pushes the door off her and they stare in horror at the mess around them, then at the fridge with no door.

"Fix it," Sylvie gasps, breathless. 

"Fix it," Loki hisses back. 

Loki's heart is beating so hard as Sylvie and he get to their feet and grab the door. Loki holds it to the fridge while Sylvie pulses magic into the two pieces, knitting the door back on the fridge.

"Hurry, hurry," Loki says, trying not to shout. 

"Shut up. I'm trying," Sylvie hisses.

Then they feel it. The stare that who knows how long has been there. They turn slowly and there is Mobius, leaning against threshold, watching them fix the door with food surrounding his feet.

Sylvie and Loki stare in horror. "Mobius," Loki gasps. 

Mobius looks between them before going to the sink and filling up a couple of the glasses, before walking out with them. Under his breath, Loki barely hears him muttur, "Have two Loki's in your life they said. It would be fun they said."

Loki groans and hits his head on the door which consequently rips it off again. Sylvie groans and lays her head against one of the fridge drawers.

"Well," she mutters, "if it's any consolation, I think he hates us both now."

Loki has to bite his tongue against that. She may have made them late today but the door is both their fault.

At some point, Mobius comes back and gets milk for the kids. The vein in his forehead is throbbing but he swallows hard and says to them, "At least fix the door, please. We can worry about the rest later."

Mobius wants to explode. But if there is one thing Loki knows about Mobius it's that he's good about bottling things up but that bottle will explode sooner than later. But for right now, he's gentle. Sylvie and Loki exchange looks and get to work...slower this time.

***************************

Loki does all the dishes. Sylvie and he both. It's their way of making it up to Mobius who despite their best efforts still looks like he will burst a blood vessel if they so much is look at him wrong.

So, while they wash dishes and listen to the Christmas music B-15 put on and the others talk, they fume and debate their next move.

At some point Sylvie sighs as she dries a large plate and puts it away. "I'm sorry."

Loki stops scrubbing the apple pie dish. "What?"

"I told Mobius I'm trying to be better and this is my chance to try and do that so..." Sylvie groans as if it's utterly hurting her, "I'm sorry."

Loki sighs, "I suppose I am, too."

"We're both idiots. Just one more than the other."

Loki rolls his eyes and hands her the pie dish, "I think its equal."

Sylvie scoffs but says nothing more. They go through a few more dishes before she says, "You do need to slow down though. Mobius doesn't look okay. I don't think freaking out over everything is going to help."

"I'm not freaking out," Loki says, "I'm being helpful."

Loki knows she's looking at the oven when she says, "Helpful. That's a word for it."

"You know what," Loki hisses, shoving a cup at her, "just wash."

Sylvie just gives him this disgusted, completely done look. But they finish the cups and dishes and pans in silence, put the tupperware in the fridge which is still working to their relief and go to the living room.

Sylvie doesn't have a problem getting on the floor and tackling Love who screams and laughs as Sylvie tickles her. But Loki stands in the doorway and he has this overwhelming sensation that he's back in the tree, on the outside looking in.

Loki clenches his fists, expecting timelines to be there. He feels like there is too much green in his vision. He backs away from the threshold and into the hall, gasping. He's here. He can feel the wood beneath his feet. He can still smell the pie. He can hear Mobius's voice talking to O.B. He's here. Loki is home. Loki is where he belongs.

Loki latches on to the kids laugh and Mobius's voice and clutches his shirt, taking deep breaths. He needs to breathe. He's still here. He's not floating in space, in prison, or in a tree.

He's home.

With that, Loki shakily reenters the room where the kids, Sylvie and Thor play a game, B-15 and Mobius are talking and Casey and O.B. or sharing one of Mobius's mystery books.

Loki stares at Mobius, watching his eyes as they seem to get more and more tired. Loki can't bring him any food. None he doesn't magic up anyway and Mobius hates the taste of it. Says it always tastes fake, like plastic...

He's startled out of his thoughts when Love tugs on his sleeve. Loki looks down at her and her Lilo & stitch sweater. "Yes, Love?" He asks.

"What's wrong?"

Loki stares at her for a moment then looks back at Mobius. "I want to help Uncle Mobius, but I'm not sure how."

"What present did you get him?" Love grabs his hand and uses it to twirl herself. 

Loki shrugs, "I haven't decided yet."

She stops twirling. "You don't have a present-"

Loki has to slap a hand over her mouth before she get anyone's attention. "I didn't say I don't have one, just that I don't know what to give him or what he will like best."

She spins away and demands, "Tell me!"

Loki sighs. He's starting to see why Thor has no control whatsoever. He bends over and whispers in her ear the two gifts he's debating giving Mobius. The second one she lights up on.

"That one!"

"I don't know if he's ready for that," Loki says back.

Love scrunches her nose. Suddenly there's a loud crashing noise and Stormbreaker is by their side seconds later. "Let's make it," Love says.  

Loki sighs. Okay. Looks like they are doing this after all.

*****************************

Yggdrasil is the most elaborate thing Loki has ever created. The power and concentration needed to intertwine the branches in such a manner, to have them thrive and live is a massive undertaking. While this project is hardly comparable to Yggdrasil it still feels as if it is the second most elaborate thing he's ever created. Maybe because it's so small and intimate that the amount of concentration he has to use feels so immense.

Loki blows his magic on it, ingraining it in the metal that Stormbreaker and Mjolnir has helped them make. Love and Loki spend a long time out in the backyard in the dark creating this gift that makes Loki more scared with each intricate pattern he makes. Mobius won't want this. Not now. Not ever.

But Love is so proud of it that she finds the gift wrapping and box herself and even wraps it herself in green and blue wrappings with a gold bow. Loki tells her to go put it under the tree but as she goes in, she shouts and runs. Seconds later Mobius comes out. He looks absolutely confused, looking between the fire pit and Love before looking at Loki. Loki can't help but blush. He has no idea what they just did.

"What was that about?" Mobius asks.

Loki shrugs. "Nothing. Just...some family bonding," he says.

Mobius raises of brow, "Well, your family bonding took three hours. What were you two doing out here?"

They both look at the fire pit with its small amount of embers, Mjolnir sitting on the stones and Stormbreaker who is turned toward Mobius almost in interest.

"Nothing," Loki says again.

Mobius stares at him for a long moment before sighing and coming down the stairs and going to the shed. "What are you doing?" Loki asks.

"We ran out of wood for the fireplace," Mobius says. He drags the ax out of the shed and over to their small pile of wood. "I think you're yule log finally kicked the bucket. We need a couple of more pieces."

He sets a log on the chopping block. Loki hates when he does this. He nearly cut his foot off the last time he chopped wood. As Mobius swings back, Loki butts in. "Wait, we'll do it." He looks at Stormbreaker and the ax seems to read his mind. He flies to the pile and starts chopping while Loki lifts a handful and splits a few with his magic. When Stormbreaker is done, Loki arranges the logs in a neat pile.

It's the first thing that's going right all day. 

Loki puts his hands on his waist, a big grin on his face. Mission accomplished. But he doesn't get praise like he's expecting. Instead Mobius glares at him, his eyes turning stormy in the foggy moonlight. Clouds cover the moon as Mobius grabs three pieces of wood and stomps to the house.

Loki stands confused for a long moment until he realizes that Mobius is deeply and unashamedly angry.

"Mobius," Loki calls after him, running to the house as the screen door slams shut, "Mobius! Wait!"

The warmth in the house is a bit of a shock to the system but that doesn't stop Loki from stopping Mobius halfway down the hallway. "Mobius, wait-"

"No," Mobius growls, "I will not wait. I have a job to do. One I can actually do."

The way he says that speaks volumes and Loki tenses even harder, making his head spin. "What are you talking about," Loki struggles to say, "you can do-"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! I can't cook, can't get out of bed, can't sleep, can't talk to anyone, can't fix anything-"

"Mobius!" Loki grabs his shoulder, stopping him, but he twists around so fast the fabric of his sweater rips.

By now they are outside the living room, where the entire world can hear them. Loki feels sick. "No!" Mobius shouts. The look in his eyes reminds Loki of his anger at Brad and Loki can't tell if it's at him or at himself. "You've done everything, Loki. Take care of my kids, watch my kids, take care of the house, and what have I done? Nothing! The least I could do is cut some wood!"

The picture is getting a little clearer. Mobius is not mad at everything that's going wrong this week. He's mad at everything that's gone right. 

Something in Loki pops. The shell of anger maybe or maybe his own insecurities making an appearance. It doesn't matter what it is. What does matter is it takes over and fast. 

"Well maybe," Loki hisses slowly, "if you actually cared for yourself you wouldn't be lied up in bed and we wouldn't have to do everything."

"I didn't ask you to do everything!" Mobius fights back, "I asked you to help, not take away my ability to do the little that I can!"

"That's not what you said! Maybe you should be more specific next time!"

There are heads and bodies coming out of the living room. Loki can barely see Thor and Sylvie in his peripheral vision and he thinks the boys have come into the hallway.

Mobius's face is turning red. "Fine. You want specifics. Here it is. I can cook. I can chop wood. I can take care of my kids. I don't need you treating me like a porcelain baby when I can do just as much as you."

"Uh-huh. And what about when you can't, Mobius. What about the days when-"

"I want you to treat me like a normal human!"

"I am! I treat you-"

"No, you act like I'm going to break every two seconds. I can be just as strong as you!"

Loki sees it, Mobius's body turning to ash, spaghettification, pruning. He feels fire light up his chest. "Are you?" He yells, the world fading until it's the two of them in a big angry bubble, "Because last I checked you weren't the one who could do magic. You were the one who had to be brought back a thousand times! You're the one who can't fight-"

"STOP IT!"

It's so sudden and so loud it knocks Mobius and Loki out of their angry bubble but that's not what stops them. It's Sean who barrels into Loki as hard as he can shoving him back with all the strength his little arms have. Loki stumbles in surprise and stares at him, confused. He's never seen Sean angry. Not really. Not like this as he backs up into his father as if protecting him while Mobius stares as well, just as confused.

Then he remembers six days ago when Loki found Sean in the pantry and the conversation that ensued and what he told him to do.

If I ever, and I mean ever, do anything that you don't like to your dad you have permission to tell me off. Do what you need to protect your dad. Okay?

Horror courses through Loki, and he almost doubles over. He starts shaking as he looks in Sean's eyes and sees the fear and anger. He's crossed a line. A big one.

Loki can't say anything as he drags his eyes to the floor and moves past the boys and Mobius, past gawking faces and whispers to the door where he steps out into the falling snow and closes Mobius's door tightly behind him.

Chapter Text

Loki doesn't know how long he wanders. It must be a long time because he hears church bells go off at midnight, then silence for hours after. It's quiet, odd for a city but the snow dampens the sound to only his feet crunching through it.

Loki leaves their quiet little neighborhood and walks toward the center of Cleveland. Dogs bark. Cars pass. Plows, snowmobiles and eventually just him has he enters the main city and passes the storefronts.

Toys, lights, trees, nutcrackers, and more wave and shine, blinding Loki with joy and wonder that seems to just pass over him. There's no effect. Not now.

He screwed up. Not even his typical screw up either. He can't get the look Sean gave him out of his head. The fear. The anger. How he backed into Mobius like Loki was going to attack him. Like he was going to do something his mother had done.

Loki lashes out and punches the wall beside him, leaving cracks. How could he let his temper go like that? He hasn't talked to Mobius in such a manner since they met. He's never wanted to. But today...today was too much.

The snow stopped sometime ago but it was so thick and heavy it piles over Loki's boots and covers the sidewalk and road. His hair is soaked. He wanders out of the city center and down the street to the park. He feels numb. Like everything that just happened happened to another version of himself and he was just watching.

He can't go back there, can he? Sean will not welcome him. He's upset mobius. Everyone witnessed his blunder. He'll never learn. He just keeps making the same mistakes.

But Mobius said he loves Loki. That nothing he could do whatever change that. And Loki believes him. He trusts him and what he says. But...that can change. It always changes.

Loki remembers the gift Love and he just made. He feels like their meager dinner is going to make a reappearance. They never should have made it. It's too soon. Mobius won't take it. The boys won't accept it. And who says he would want it anyway. It's just a foolish god's dream.

A god who should be in a tree protecting the worlds. Not here in Cleveland where he messes everything up.

But as that thought goes through his brain, panic clutches his lungs and stops him in the middle of his walk. Feet away, homeless people gather around a barrel of fire ignoring him. He tries to focus on the flames but it's too late.

He can't do this. He can't leave here. Loki can't go back to the solitude of branches and watching world's pass by. If Mobius doesn't want him anymore, what is he supposed to do? He's the whole reason for...well... everything. Having a family, love, having Thor, friends, a second chance. And now...

Loki slumps onto the bench behind him, ignoring the snow wetting his pants. He's sobbing. He can't control himself as loud, long sobs break the silence of the night. He can feel it, his world getting smaller, crushing him as that dark despair and loneliness closes in. He doesn't want this. Not again.

"Please," Loki whispers between sobs, "don't leave me alone again...I don't want to be alone again..."

"Sir..."

Loki jerks up, his back hitting the back of the bench. Through blurry eyes, he sees a little girl, dirty with scarcely any clothes. She's one of the homeless people by the fire. He must have caught their attention.

He snorts in his snot, wipes his tears away and says, "Yes?" It comes out weaker than he means it to.

The girl observes him for a long moment, her eyes curious. Then she holds out of hand. He's confused until his eyes clear and he sees what she's holding.

A candy cane?

Loki gives her a confused look. She smiles. "For you."

Loki frowns. A candy cane? From...a homeless...most likely hungry...child. He gently pushes her hand back. "No. I can't take that."

But she takes his hand and sticks the cane in his hand, her cold hand gently holding his. "You need it more than I do."

Then she twirls away, skipping back to her father who waves at him before turning back to the fire. Loki looks down at the candy cane. He feels...conflicted. He feels warm and a little cold. Someone, a little girl, gave him this precious gift that could have been her saving grace. And he feels...happy but also sad about it. It was that easy but such a sacrifice for something so small. And yet...It means the world...to someone as wretched as him. One piece of a world to another.

Loki looks up and sees the little girl is watching him. He mouths a thank you, holding the cane to his heart. She smiles, looks to his left then whips back around. 

Suddenly, another body sits on the bench beside him. Loki flinches and slowly looks to a very red face, bundled in so many layers of clothes and a large hat that he can barely even see the mustache. 

He sits waiting for Mobius to say something, anything. But he doesn't. They just sit and watch the stars fade as the sky turns gray. The little girl falls asleep in her dad's arms. Loki watches as the homeless gather closer, ember's dying. Finally, he can't take it anymore and says, "Well, aren't you going to say something?"

Mobius hums. "I don't think words can really fix anything right now." He looks at Loki, eyes sad, "I don't think sorry would quite cut it."

Loki can't look at him. Not like this. He turns away, letting his wet hair cover his face. "How's Sean?"

Mobius stretches out his legs. "He thinks I'm crazy. He's real upset if you want the truth."

Loki feels cold again. It takes a long time, the sun rising by the time he speaks. But Mobius is patient. Just like he always is.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I...shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You are strong," Loki chokes, tears returning, "you are so strong. And that's what scares me."

Suddenly, Mobius is chuckling. Loki turns to him, shock filling him. Mobius shakes his head. "Sorry," he murmurs, "it's just you're scared of being strong, well I'm scared of being weak." He sniffs, the cold brings snot to forward. "We're pathetic, aren't we?"

Loki has to think that over in comparison to their argument and finds it on point. Mobius said what he said because he feels weak, helpless, useless while Loki was feeling the same for a completely different reason.

This is why they go to therapy. 

Loki groans into his hands, not feeling an ounce better. He sits back, watching the sunrise on Christmas day. "Why aren't you home?" He asks, "The boys will be looking for you."

Mobius shakes his head, "Everybody is out here looking for you, Lokes."

Loki looks at him, eyes widening, "What? Why?"

Mobius looks absolutely confused at that. "What do you mean why? We couldn't find you. You have Thor and Sylvie worried sick. Kevin is in tears and Loves about to explode if you don't come back. The TVA crew literally rented cars that they can't drive to find you."

Loki frowns. "You can just find me through the tree. Why go through all that?"

At that Mobius slightly smiles. "No offense to our little family but having them in our house for hours on end makes me feel more nervous than you teaching the boys magic."

Loki almost laughs at that. "And you're supposed to be the nice one."

Mobius dead pants his next sentence. "Loki, I literally put you in a time loop so you could get kicked in the crotch for who knows how long because I was pissed at you. I don't think nice is the right word."

While that may be so, Mobius is still a lot gentler than most people that Loki has met. O.B. might be a close second.

But then Loki remembers the scrape on O.B.'s face, and the kitchen, and the last few days and that heavy feeling returns. He watches Mobius, waiting for the man to say more but he just watches the homeless as they start to move away from the dead fire.

Suddenly Mobius's eyes widen. He turns to Loki a big grin on his face. "Hey, want to help me with one of my traditions?"

Loki frowns harder. Where is he going with this? "What?"

Mobius stands, sticking his hand out to Loki. "Come on. Let's give some good will to the world."

Is this a peace offering? Mobius sees his hesitancy and says, "I think we'll be up for a better talk after I play Santa and you magic some gifts." He nods at the little girl and Loki feels the need to repay her.

Loki sighs, "Okay...let's play Santa."

***********************************

At first it's just these people around the barrel. Mobius ho ho ho's and Loki pulls out a green velvet bag that makes a little girl squeal. They give them food, coats, blankets, new shoes. The little girl asks Loki for gloves for her dad which he promptly gives and gets way too emotional over watching her give them to him. They spend at least an hour talking to these people who relay their life story. Some good, some bad. Some are just coasting. But when it's over and the group goes on their way to a soup kitchen, the girl's father stops them, saying thank you for the way they treated the group and for taking the candy cane. It made his daughter's Christmas to help Loki. It was something her father couldn't do.

At that Mobius smiles and says, "We understand. We have children, too."

Loki does not miss the we in that sentence but he doesn't dare point it out. After that, Mobius turns to Loki and asks if he wants to do it again. And again. And again.

They walk from one end of the city to the other, giving gifts to children, elderly, and more. Mobius is magiced into a Santa suit, Loki an elf, going to shelters and nursing homes. They spend hours in one place, speaking to the lonely people who remind Loki too much of himself and he can't bear to leave them alone again. They spend time playing with kids with no parents, bringing Mobius to tears every time he has to leave.

At some point B calls and yells at them for not checking in. They try to act sad about it but when they get off the phone, they're straight back to laughing and grinning.

About noon, they end up back at the same place, sitting on that bench, tired but...happy. Loki feels better. So many people smiled and were happy and he didn't even have to try that hard. Just make some gifts and smile and that made someone's day. Mobius is smiling, too, which means the world to Loki.

"Happy Jul, Loki," Mobius says, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder.

Loki looks at him, eyes soft. "Merry Christmas, Mobius."

"Will you come back home now?" he asks, voice gentle. 

Loki hums. Home. That little house in the suburbs filled with family who is probably upset that they skipped out on Christmas morning. Loki's home.

He chuckles and sighs, "In a moment. I'm letting time pass."

That gets him the biggest eye roll he's ever seen out of Mobius. "That is my line. Copyright laws are in place for that."

Now Loki rolls his eyes, "I sincerely doubt that."

"You don't know that," Mobius states, "somewhere out there, that line is copy written on a piece of paper and it's my line."

"Sure, Mobius. We'll say that." Loki smiles though because those words mean the world to him. He hears them sometimes still. And echo from the past that still chills him and lifts him at the same time.

"So," Mobius nudges his foot into Loki's, "Homeward bound?"

Loki looks at him, into Mobius's blue eyes for any deception, any lie. Something to fend off the growing pain at least for today. There is none. There never is. Only gentleness and love.

Loki nods. "Homeward bound."

**********************************

To save time Mobius opens a time door and gets them back to the house at precisely noon, taking them back a little in time. But as soon as Loki's feet hits the grass he stops. Sean and Kevin are sitting in the window watching for them. When they see the two, the kids yell and run.

Loki grabs Mobius's arm, "I shouldn't be here. Sean hates me-"

"Loki," Mobius says sternly, "we're both going to apologize to him. We're going to explain all of this. All of it."

All of it. Does that mean..?

"Loki!" He turns back around. Kevin is running full speed at him, no shoes on, still in his pajamas. Loki barely manages to catch him when he barrels into him, wrapping Loki in a big hug.

"We were scared you disappeared," Kevin says into his sweater, "I don't want you to leave. You can't leave us."

Something in Loki's heart breaks at the way Kevin says that. He slowly goes to his knees, returning the hug with a tight squeeze. "I'm not going to disappear," he says, even though that could change at any time.

And then he sees Sean who is looking between Loki and Mobius, arms crossed, hard as stone. Loki swallows hard. Kevin realizes something is happening and sits back. Loki looks Sean dead in the eye and says, "I'm sorry." Sean's stance doesn't change. Loki sighs. Full truth it is. Slowly, painfully, Loki turns blue. His ridges appear and Kevin gasps when he sees Loki's eyes. Vulnerable, Loki thinks. Be vulnerable. Mobius softly exhales but Loki doesn't dare look at him. Whatever his look is, Loki doesn't think he can bare it. He lays his hands out flat, being as meek and humble as he can be.

Sean looks frightened, his eyes wide and breathing uneven but he stands firm. Stubborn just like his father.

"This is the real me, Sean," Loki says, "Blue, red eyes, horrible, monstrous-"

"Loki," Mobius mumbles but he pushes on.

"I broke my promise to you. I broke your trust. What I did to your father was wrong. I never should have said the things I did-"

"Neither of us should have." Mobius is suddenly on his knees, too, looking at Sean who is scrutinizing his father. Mobius is bold as he says, "We were wrong, Sean. Because adults, god or not, are stupid sometimes. I'm sorry, too, because that argument never should have happened."

"Then why did it," Sean says. The look on his face is so close to the face Mobius had in the time theater so long ago it makes Loki ache. "Why did he hurt you?"

"We hurt each other," Mobius is quick to correct. He looks at Loki as if to say 'you ready?' Loki nods. Mobius holds out his hand, a show affection they try to hide from the kids. Loki takes it slowly and Mobius squeezes, feeling the ridges on Loki's hand and taking in the blue. The amount of love there is unmistakable. Mobius takes Loki's hand in his lap then says to Sean, "A long time ago, Loki became my friend, my partner, and he sacrificed everything," he looks Sean dead in the eyes, "and I mean everything to keep you and Kevin alive."

"The tree, Sean," Loki adds in. Kevin comes around and sits on Loki's knee. He holds him to him and Kevin plays with his fingers taking in the blue patterns. "The tree that keeps the multiverse alive and your father."

"He was gone for a long time," Mobius says before going into detail of his pain and Loki's pain for all those years. He's telling their story, Loki realizes. Uncensored, bare for the boys to hear. And when Mobius gets to the part where Loki asked him to come here, Mobius chokes up. "I didn't want to come and hurt you, Sean. Loki is the one who wanted us to be a family." Sean briefly looks at Loki, before staring at his father. "I know you don't trust my judgment with people," Mobius says, "and to be fair you have every reason to think that, but-"

"You love him," Sean says and Loki can't tell if it's in a bad way or not. 

Mobius nods. "Yeah, I do. And sometimes," Mobius exhales a long breath, "sometimes people who love each other hurt each other for stupid reasons."

"Mom hurt you."

Mobius flinches. "Mom didn't love me. Not like I loved her. That pain...it's different."

"I love your father, Sean," Loki jumps in, then looks at Mobius who smirks at him, "more than I could ever say." He looks back at Sean, "and I could write an entire book about it, a whole library and it would never be enough."

"What we're getting at, Sean," Mobius interjects, "is that adults fight. And a lot of the time it is not good like me and your mother. It's okay to want to defend me, even doubt me. But people who love each other will fight. There could be a million reasons for it, not all of it malicious. Sometimes showing how much you care can lead to those arguments, but it doesn't change how much you love that person." Mobius looks at Loki and for a moment it's just Loki and Mobius in the world, as if this is their apology, their way of fixing things before Mobius breaks it and says, "I'm rambling now. But does that make sense?"

Loki frowns. "Are you saying our arguing is how we show our love?"

Mobius gives him a sardonic look, "Come on. How often do we argue? Of course it is." Then to Sean, "What happened yesterday was the result of a lot of pent up anxiety about making this the best Christmas for each other and for you. It had nothing to do with each other. Besides trying to make the other happy."

Mobius squeezes Loki's hand again. Loki smiles. "Yes. Even grown-ups mess up, Sean." Sean finally looks at him as if he's listening, "and we messed up. You woke me up to that mistake. I'm sorry and I promise to talk to you and your father and Kevin more."

Sean still looks stiff but he sighs and nods. "Okay. But I'm watching you."

Loki smiles, "I expect nothing less."

"So," Kevin suddenly speaks up as he squeezes Loki's arm to see if his ridges will bend, "are you like our new dad/mom now or something?"

Loki blushes, "I...uh...well..."

Mobius steps in, "That depends on what you boys want. I love Loki but that doesn't mean we will push something you boys don't want."

Loki's jaw drops. Is Mobius serious right now? They're breaking that wall just like that? Hi kids, we've been in love this whole time. What do you think of co-parenting? 

Kevin and Sean exchange looks. Loki supposed this is the ultimate decision. He wishes he had a little warning before they got asked that. 

Kevin leans into Loki, playing with his fingers, "I miss Mom. This doesn't replace her, does it?"

"No, Kevin," Loki says quickly, "I could never replace your mother."

Kevin twiddles with Loki's sleeve, looking at his ice blue wrist. "You did step up, though. You made Christmas fun this year. And you made Dad happy." He nods slowly. "You're not Mom. But you can be mom the sequel. I would like that."

Loki can't tell if that's an insult or not. Sean stares at him for a long time before extending a pinky to him. "Promise not to hurt him again."

Loki wraps his pinky around Sean's. His throat is tight. Sean's going to try to trust Loki again. Loki will not break that promise. He can't afford to. "With my life."

Sean nods then goes and collapses into Mobius. He wraps his arms around him and whispers, "Merry Christmas, Dad."

"Love you, Dad," Kevin says, hugging Mobius's arm. 

Mobius smiles at Loki and mouths, "Welcome home."

************************

Christmas day. The twelfth day of Jul. Inside, Thor and Love are ringing bells like they always do to ring in the new year. The ring those bells in Mobius and Loki's faces before Thor about knocks Loki out and he and B give Loki a fat lecture about disappearing the way he did. Before B can get in a punch of her own, O.B. drags them into the kitchen. He has replaced his glasses and is giddy as can be when he shows them the rebuilt retrofitted oven. It's something from a science/fiction book. Quite fitting if you ask Loki.

No one has opened any presents. They were too worried about Loki. He does get a good smack from Sylvie who says if they ever argue and disappear and leave her with this group of people again she'll slice and dice them. But her care is obvious especially after she gives each of them a snow globe, one with a jet ski and blue glitter, the other with daggers and green glitter. She clings to Mobius and Loki a lot longer than they expect her, too.

The boys love their wooden and iron toys from a planet far away. Casey gives O.B. a new tool set. B gives D a free pass to reconstructing the TVA's food dispensary. Love gives Thor a drawing she made of Jane. The gifts pile and pile. The music from an old record player for Casey roars through the afternoon. They drink eggnog, cocoa, cider, eat cookies and decide an old fashioned dinner at the TVA would suit their needs. Or at least bringing the food here.

When D, Thor and B go to the TVA to grab them some food, Love comes to Loki, the little box in her hand. Loki shakes his head, watching as Mobius open a gift from the boys. It's a macaroni picture frame with a picture of the four of them in the front yard for Halloween. Mobius smiles at that. "I don't know if it's the time, Love."

She pushes it into his hand. "Do it at bed time. Or after dinner."

"No, I mean, it's not for right now. Not after last night."

Love frowns. "Uncle Thor says do things today because there won't be a tomorrow."

Loki chuckles. "I'm pretty sure that's not the line but I know what you mean."

"So you'll do it?"

Loki sighs. Just looking at this box makes him want to run. "Okay. After dinner."

Love grins and wraps her arms around his neck. "I wish I was blue. You're pretty."

It took a lot to stay in this form after talking to the kids but when Loki tried to turn back Kevin practically screamed bloody murder. So Loki stayed, even though Thor had to do a double take and every time someone touches him he wants to hide. It helped when Sylvie decided to turn blue, too, and Kevin about went on the roof and screamed their avatars. But Love saying that causes Loki to cave. He wraps her in a tight hug, whispering, "Thank you."

The whiff of lasagna, mac and cheese and a potato casserole fill the air. There is some banging in the kitchen then D-90 saunters into the living room, a big grin on his face and an apron from Sylvie decorating his torso. Kiss the cook. 

Loki has to bite his tongue when he sees Mobius eyeing it. Maybe he should get a kiss the cook apron.

D clears his throat before waving to the kitchen. "Dinner is served."

*************************

It's not until well after dinner when Mobius and Loki are able to exchange gifts. When Sylvie has volunteered to take the boys to bed with Love and Thor (who winks at Loki as she passes). When D, O.B. and Casey are putting food away and B-15 is bringing a gift to her boyfriend which raises both Mobius and Loki's brows. She just winks and waves goodbye.

So, Mobius and Loki go to the fire pit where Loki starts a fire and they look up at the stars. It's peaceful and Loki wonders as he looks up and feels the candy cane in his pocket if that girl has somewhere warm to sleep tonight.

"I'm sorry," Mobius says, "for being an insecure jerk."

"I'm sorry for not having more faith in our relationship," Loki replies, "I will try to talk to you more rather than hide behind a mask I think you want to see."

Mobius exhales and his breath floats into the air. "Ditto."

"I forgive you for being a jerk."

"I forgive you for also being an insecure jerk." Mobius smiles. Loki also smiles and shakes his head. "Do you want to go first?" Mobius asks. 

"No," Loki says all to quickly, "you go."

Mobius nods and reaches into his jean pocket where he pulls out a small thin box in the same wrapping as Loki's only with an orange ribbon. "It's nothing fancy but I thought if I ever had to lose you again..."

Loki opens the box gently. Inside is a thick hourglass, with white grains of sand passing through each end. As he lifts it, a golden chain comes with and on its side is a latch. He pulls at it and the hourglass opens to four different panels. From top to bottom is Kevin, Mobius, Thor and Sylvie, then Sean.

"... You will never be alone because we will be with you even if it's just a picture."

Loki opens his mouth but all that comes out is a keening sound. He covers his mouth but tears replaced the sound. He holds it out to Mobius and Mobius seems to understand what he wants. He takes the pendant and gently places it around Loki's neck. It is heavy on his chest, a weight that if Loki ever needs to return to the tree will anchor him in ways he never knew he needed.

"...Thank you," Loki says weakly, looking at the pictures of smiling kids, Thor and Sylvie making faces and Mobius, sweet, strong Mobius smiling at the camera, pie in hand. Loki closes it and notices on the solid gold back is 'love is pie'. Loki laughs at that because it's just so Mobius and exactly what he needs.

"I'm glad you like it," Mobius says, "I didn't know if a necklace would be your thing but it seemed like the best way to carry us around."

Loki sniffs. He feels simultaneously emboldened and terrified. He lets the pendant over his heart tell him that this will be okay. "My gift," he says, looking up at the stars, "might not be right for this moment but I fear if I don't do it now, I will never do it. Or never get the chance."

Loki gently holds the box in his hand as he turns to Mobius, feeling sick. He has to remind himself that he's right. A lot of mistakes were made this week. In fact too many. But being a part of this family means forgiveness and second, third and even fourth chances. Mobius still hasn't given up on him. He slowly beginning to believe he never will.

Loki lifts Mobius's hand, his tan clashing with his blue and Loki just has to stare for a moment at how strange the sight is. As he does, Mobius caresses his palm, feeling the ridges. "If it's any consolation, seeing you this way, getting to have this, is enough."

Norns, Loki loves this man. He slaps the box into Mobius's hand. Mobius smiles and unties it. Loki holds his breath. His hands are shaking and the rock he sits on begins to turn to ice.

But then Mobius opens the box...and he stares. His face is blank. Loki can't even read it. He expected a lot of reactions but not this. Not a straight face and no words.

"I...um... you don't have to except it-"

"Did you make this?" Mobius's words are so quiet, almost indiscernible from the flames crackling. "Is this what you were doing last night?"

Loki swallows hard. "Yes..."

Slowly Mobius takes the ring from the box, holding it gently as if he might break it. The green magic within the metal and glass pulses as he runs his fingers over the bumps of the ring. The bands are mobius strips and in between the two is Yggdrasil, leaves, branches curving with Loki's magic. On the inside in Asgardian ruins is my home, my new day, my ending.

Mobius stares at it, his jaw opening and closing as if he can't decide what to say. And that's when it occurs to Loki that human tradition is a little different and he might not be getting the concept.

Loki drops to his knees, letting the snow wet his pants. "Mobius," Loki says, staring at the flames lighting the man's face, "I understand that this is a big step, but I wholeheartedly believe that-"

"Do you really want this?" Mobius cuts him off very suddenly and it takes Loki a moment to understand what he has just said. When it finally does become clear, the terrified look on Mobius's face makes a lot more sense.

A cloud of doubt begins in Loki's head but he catches it this time. Mobius loves Loki and Loki loves Mobius. He will not let his trauma and self-doubt destroy what he has. Not again.

Loki takes Mobius's hands into his, letting the ring rest in between their palms. "Yes, Mobius," Loki says, rubbing a circle into Mobius's wrist with his thumb, "I want this more than I can ever describe." Loki lifts the ring and shows Mobius the words on the inside. "These are my truths. This is my eternity. I don't want to live one day in regret on that throne if I ever must return there. This ring I present to you as a prince of Asgard and the god of stories as a token of who you are to me." Mobius takes a deep breath and Loki can see this is overwhelming him. He reaches up and cups his face. "No more self-doubt. No more worthiness questions or dancing around if we truly mean what we say. I want to be bound to you forever. I want to belong to you forever in every sense of the word.

"So, Mobius M. Mobius will you do me the honor of becoming a prince of asgard, nobleman of a god and most importantly," Loki chokes and he has to swallow and say more quietly, "...my partner, now and forever."

That word, partner, is heavy with meaning but it doesn't slip past Mobius exactly the gravity of what Loki is saying. He looks at the ring again, watching the green throb. Loki can see the war in his eyes, the voices telling him this won't work, it didn't work before why try again, and that he'll never be enough. But then steel determination covers his features. Mobius takes a deep breath before resting his forehead against Loki's. They sit breathing the same air for a long time. Loki knows he should feel scared because it's taking so long for Mobius to decide but somehow he's not worried. He doesn't have to be and something inside him, small and quiet and peaceful tells him that. 

Finally, when Mobius begins to shiver and the ember's have died down, he pulls away and holds the ring up closer to his face, observing it before holding it out to Loki. Loki's stomach jumps until he says, "Give me a second date at the World's Fair and you got yourself a husband."

It takes longer than it should to register that Mobius said yes. But when it does, Loki starts laughing and crying simultaneously. He envelops Mobius, holding him to him before he realizes he wants to put the ring on Mobius, and rips the ring out of the man's hand. He's shocked as Loki takes his right hand and slips it on. "Wrong hand." Loki rips it off again and sticks it on Mobius's left ring finger where his magic curls around Mobius's finger. Mobius's eyes flash and he shivers.

"What is it?" Loki asks, "Are you cold? Should we go inside?"

"No. I mean, yes," Mobius sighs. He hums then smiles at Loki, the moon making his eyes shine. "I can feel you. Stronger than I ever have." He rubs the ring and the magic tickles his finger. "Now you'll never leave me either."

Loki nods. "That was the plan. Should we tell the boys?"

Mobius spins the ring, feeling the grooves of the mobius strip. "Not yet. Let's get them used to the idea of you being a guardian first." He laughs. "I suppose we're sort of doing this out of order."

There is a commotion in the house. Mobius and Loki turn to the door where they see Sylvie and Thor's shadows. "Can you timeslip two people?" Mobius suddenly asks.

Loki frowns. "I don't know. I've never tried."

Mobius wraps his arms around Loki's shoulders, a mischievous grin on his face. "I hear the Great Northern Hotel was a great place to stay in 1893. Seems like a nice time to try it out."

Loki grins. Challenge accepted.

"Guys," Sylvie busts through the door, Thor with a bottle of ale behind her but when they look to the fire pit all that is left are embers and two small empty boxes. Sylvie curses. "Looks like we're babysitting."

Loki and Mobius are gone. 

******************************

1 good thing about my day: I got engaged! Odin would be quaking in his boots!

1 good thing about me: my magic that can be used to make others happy. 

Gratitude: I am grateful for my forgiving family. Where have they been my whole life?

Chapter Text

"This seems like a weird tradition."

Loki is lying back on the couch, staring at the ring on her finger. A few days after Christmas, Mobius took her to get one because she hadn't made one for herself. It took a lot longer than expected which is fine because Ben had the boys and frankly anytime Loki can torture Ben is fine with her. But as for the ring, it cost a ton which made everyone at the TV aware of their engagement because B-15 had to crack down on why they were using so much money.

It's a beautiful ring, but quite simple in design. Loki didn't want anything gaudy or flashy. That's not who she is anymore. It's not what Mobius and Loki's relationship is. The ring is gold with green through the middle made of crushed emeralds. In the center is an orange Garnet sundial. On the inside are the words beyond the end of time. Loki catches herself staring at it often, unbelieving that it's really there on her finger. Like right now.

"What," Mobius asks as he searches for something on the TV, "watching the ball drop?"

"Yes," Loki says, "it all seems rather strange that a ball in New York tells you when it's the new year." Loki eyes the ring on Mobius's finger. Despite what what he said about easing the boys into the idea, he wears his ring everywhere. The moment Ben saw it, he about had a come apart. He and Mobius had to take a drive for two hours before Ben was calm enough to simply come to Loki and give her the 'shovel' talk.

There are many things Loki doesn't like about Ben but she will bend to this: he cares about Mobius. He wants to protect him. In every world, not just this one. If Loki must give Mobius's life over to someone, Ben would be her first choice.

Mobius turns to Loki, a twinkle in his eye. "You mean to tell me that you have traditions about deer mothers and singing to trees but watching a ball drop on TV is the thing that is strange to you?"

"Humans are strange creatures," Loki says, spinning the ring, "very unpredictable."

"Oh, and Asgardians aren't?" Mobius finally lands on what he wants and New York appears, with a shiny ball attached to a spire.

"That and more," Loki says, smirking at Mobius who now stands over her, an unamused look on his face. Before he can say anything, though, Casey sticks his head into the living room, a glass of mead in hand.

"Hey, did you find the station? Is it happening?" Casey looks positively childlike. He has a huge smile and radiates excitement that could rival the kids.

There's a loud crash in the kitchen then Loki hears squabbling between the kids before Sylvie scolds them. Mobius rolls his eyes and heads that way. "It's on, Casey. Knock yourself out."

Casey crows and slinks into the armchair on the other side of the room. Slowly, the room fills up as Mobius ushers their friends into the room. Each is holding a glass including the kids but Loki can clearly see it's filled with orange juice. When Mobius makes his way back to her side, Loki stands and that's when B raises a glass.

"A toast," she says, "to Mobius and Loki and the life they have created. To the life Loki gave us. To a new year. Let it be fruitful, beautiful and successful. To family."

The others tip their glasses toward Loki and Mobius but all cheer, "Too family," before drinking. Mobius and Loki look at each other. 'To family,' Mobius mouths before planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Guys," Casey suddenly shouts, nearly dropping his cup on O.B., "the countdown, it's starting." And he's right. Sixty seconds left. The group turns to the TV, Loki's hand in Mobius's.

"Mm," Mobius moans and Loki turns back to him. She barely catches the flash in his eyes before it disappears behind his closed lids.

"Are you okay?" Loki asks, trying to see if there is any light in his eyes as he opens them. There is none. 

Mobius smiles at her, a gentle smile that is made to reassure her fears. "I'm fine. One of those tension headaches. I'll be fine in the morning."

"Are you sure?"

Mobius smiles and starts counting down with their little family. "10...9...8..."

Loki scowls at him but moves on. If it's a problem, Mobius will tell her. "...7...6...5...4..."

Loki scans the room, and she almost feels...tender. Kevin and Sean have noise makers set at their lips. They shove each other and laugh. Love is on Thor's shoulders, noisemaker of her own at the ready. Thor has an arm around Sylvie, holding her tight to his side, bellowing loudly. Sylvie has an arm around him, drink in her hand. She brought Lyle who stands by her, a little confused and a little pumped to be here.

O.B. and Casey are glued to the screen, watching the ball with the focus of enamored children. Behind them are Peter and B-15 who are already kissing. D-90 is in the doorway, ever the hunter, watching but smiling as he drinks hot chocolate.

Then there is Loki and Mobius, standing hand in hand. She squeezes his hand, using it to ground herself to the now.

"...3...2..."

"I love you," Loki whispers, as if if she doesn't say it, she will never get the chance again.

"...1..."

Noise makers go off and music rings through the TV as their family shouts and hollers. But Mobius's lips on Loki's is all she knows, all she can focus on.

"Happy New Year, pussycat," Mobius purrs, barley taking his lips off hers. 

"To many more, my folksy dope," Loki purrs back before pulling Mobius into her. She hears the kids scream 'ew' and Thor coo, the sap. There's a round of cheers before Sylvie holds out her cup.

"To a new year!" She calls out. 

"To a new year!" The group yells out. 

As D-90 hands the two styrofoam cups of hot chocolate, Loki looks up at the ceiling as if it can answer her greatest desire.

Please, let this year be better than the last several thousand.

Then she drinks all the hot chocolate in one gulp.

**************************

New Years Resolution: Be happy :)