Chapter Text
The comic book store had always been a sacred place for Trixie. Her father had a big collection from when he was a child. That was before he sold them, bought unopened editions, and put them in glass cases with their own special security measures.
Her mom would read her those boring picture books, but it was the comics that really grabbed her attention. The action, the violence, the stories. Classic Crimson Chin adventures, Blackbird and Sparrow, that whole world in general. Those felt right.
It was harder to stop by the comic store as she got older. After she moved it became a larger detour. It was a little hard to explain to her dad why she wanted a limo to go to a mall in a different town. He didn’t exactly approve of her comic book obsession now. When she was younger, that was different. She was his darling baby girl who copied her dad. But now her enjoyment of comics was unbecoming for a young woman.
Moving also caused a lot of new problems. Trixie had built up her popularity in Dimmsdale for several years and now she had to start over. She was the new girl. Cartoons and movies made it seem easy; everyone wanted to befriend the new girl. In reality no one even noticed she existed. Why would they? Everyone was new to middle school, not just her.
Middle school was big and confusing. Having to switch classes was jarring enough, but everyone seemed to be crueler too. Whenever she made a stupid mistake, like walking into the wrong classroom or getting turned around in traffic or asking an obvious question, she could feel all the eyes in the room turn to her, and she wanted to crawl out of her skin. She always seemed to be the center of attention in a negative way, like she was stupid and awkward, a laughingstock. The bad kind of new kid. She hated it. It was hard to make new friends. Other kids stuck to their familiar cliques from elementary school.
All Trixie had was her comic books stashed at the bottom of her backpack.
It was irritating, sitting alone at lunch for the first few days. For the first time in her life Trixie understood what it meant to be a loser, though it didn’t last long. Those first days stung, but comics made it bearable. They made everything better.
Her favorite place to get comics would always be in the Dimmsdale Mall. Call it nostalgia or whatever, but there was something comforting about that store in particular. She could easily get lost in the new issues they had near the front, the weird assortments of knock off merch in the back. The egregious mistranslations made her laugh. They also had a life sized Crimson Chin with measurements on one of the walls. As she grew and as things changed around her, that place stayed the same.
Most of the time she still wore her boy disguise. Sometimes it was cool to go through the Dimmsdale mall and have people treat her as a boy. She would practice sounding like a guy to help sell the disguise. If she was being honest with herself, it felt freeing whenever she could go through a mall visit without anybody realizing he was actually a she.
On the rare occasion, she went without a disguise. The first time she went without tucking her hair into her cap, she felt uncomfortably exposed. Scrutinized. It was hard to walk around without looking over her shoulder, wondering if people were judging her for entering the comic book shop as girl instead of a boy.
The armor that was her disguise was gone. It was like leaving a part of her at home. She rarely showed that side of herself before. Only once when she was in the fourth grade. That experience didn’t last long.
No one had recognized her when she started dressing normally to the mall. If they did, they didn't say anything. Elementary school was so long ago anyway. She was nearly a junior in high school now.
Time had passed. Superheroes were becoming more mainstream. Girls in comic book stores, while a rarity, no longer brought the attention they used to. Not much to comment on.
So there she was on one Saturday afternoon, studying the shelves lined with this week’s newest issues. She picked up a comic run she had been meaning to read for a while. This newest issue really caught her eye. She reached out to grab it when someone else grabbed it first.
“Hey! I was grabbing that.” Trixie whipped her hand around to her new competitor. Her eyes widened. She knew those buck teeth. She’d recognize them anywhere.
“Trixie Tang?” The guy in front of her said. His voice had a lower pitch than she was expecting. It really hit her that time had passed.
“Timmy Turner?” She asked, still unsure what to make of the situation.
“Oh wow, you still remember me.” Timmy scratched the back of his head. If the buck teeth didn’t confirm it, that did.
God, this was so weird. The last time she saw him was a lifetime ago. When did she even see him last? It was probably during their graduation from elementary school. Or was it before then? She remembered he had asked her to sign her yearbook and she laughed in his face.
She was taller than him at that point, but now he was taller than her. It was weird not looking down at him. She was still a little above average height but he was several inches taller than her. Did he get buff? When did that happen, why? What?
The chipped pink and green nail polish screamed emo. Not a look she particularly enjoyed, so that took some points off. He still wore a pink cap. Which was kind of cute, some things never change. Although he was wearing it backwards. Who knew Timmy could keep up with the trends?
“Um, yeah.” Trixie nodded and stared at her shoes. This was all too much. She moved her foot back and forth, lightly kicking it. She chose to focus on that instead. The cool air from the comic shop was reaching her fingertips.
Her eyes flickered back to Timmy’s hands. He was holding the comic book that should’ve been hers. The glossy seal bore smudge marks from his dirty hands.
“So, how you been?” He asked, breaking her out of her daze.
“I have a boyfriend!” She blurted out.
They stared at each other. Timmy looked confused but Trixie stood her ground. No matter how much she wanted to curl up in embarrassment, she knew how it was with Timmy in the first place. She knew how this would go.
Boys flirted with her but they never actually cared about her. Not even Veronica, her closest friend in elementary school, knew the real her. She kept everyone at a distance. They fell for the version of Trixie that she allowed them to see.
Once she let a boy get close back in her freshman year of high school. He found her enchanting. He complimented her and made an effort to never let her go. He pushed past what she wanted to allow from a guy like that. The worst part was that she was excited by it. In the end he found out she wasn’t the girly girl she pretended. At least not all of the time. He was disappointed. The carefully curated image she had built was almost destroyed.
It almost ruined her. When they broke up she was up against a ticking clock. She spread rumors about him being bad in bed and that he was a liar. Then she let the rumor mill run it’s course. By the time he had anything bad to say about her, no one cared.
Timmy was going to be exactly like that. Exactly the same. A boy who saw a shining pearl not realizing she was oblong. She wasn’t a perfect circle, unblemished and smooth and pure. She was real and had flaws.
It already broke her heart once. So her body jumped tell that lie. The world stood still as the storm of emotions drowned out her reason and careful speech. She braced for the impact of Timmy’s response.
“Uh, okay?” He looked off the side and shrugged, “I wasn’t trying to hit on you. I honestly haven’t thought of you in years, since you moved.”
She blinked.
Okay, that stung. Timmy had the biggest crush on her as a kid. How could he, of all people, dare to forget her? She was not a forgettable person .
Regardless, Timmy’s nonchalance was refreshing. Here she was building up this disaster of an interaction and it didn’t come true. She felt the tension in her shoulders ease up a little.
“Sorry, you were obsessed with me when we were younger. I just assumed-”
Timmy flushed red and hid his face behind the comic book, “Oh my God, that was so embarrassing.”
Trixie started laughing. “No! Please, it was really cute. It was a real ego booster.” The memories started rushing back. All the times Timmy would try to talk to her, openly gushing and fawning over her. She swore she could see the literal hearts in his eyes. Her heart winced in guilt when remembering how she treated those bits of affection.
“I doubt you needed my attention for that.”
“It was still nice.” Trixie reassured him, because it was. “Boys are still throwing themselves at me.”
“Yeah, you- You look nice.” He shrugged.
She tilted her head in confusion. “I thought you said you didn't have a crush on me anymore?”
“I don't, I promise.” Timmy crossed his fingers, “But I don't need a crush to compliment you.”
Trixie blinked. She blinked again. A boy didn't have a crush on her… Yet was still nice to her?
It was breaking her brain a little bit.
When was the last time someone was… Nice to her? Well, a lot of people were nice to her. But it was never because they wanted to be. Her dad was someone important. She was pretty and popular. Everyone had something to gain from her. She knew that. It was just how things were.
So why would Timmy compliment her if he had nothing to gain? None of this made any sense.
It reminded her of a birthday party so many years ago. When she was waiting for a girl to show up, someone who never did. Then out of nowhere, Timmy crashed her party with no present in sight to make a declaration of all his most embarrassing and sincere secrets. It was one of the best presents she had ever received. Someone who was real.
The crowd around her had gone silent, then erupted with laughter. Timmy was still looking at her, no. Not at her but through her. Like he somehow knew that was exactly what she needed. There was this hope in his eyes. For a moment it made her want to abandon the persona she built up. If she could go back, she would grab his hands and drag him to the nearest arcade like what Timantha did to her. The rest of the party goers’ eyes landed on her, watching like hawks to see what she would do next.
She kicked him out.
Trixie hated herself for making that decision for such a long. She couldn't even look at Timmy for the next couple of weeks. In the following weeks people were extra mean to him. He acted like he always did, with the same smile plastered on his face, not letting it affect him. But the guilt still ate at her.
“I’m sorry, this is all just so weird,” Trixie whispered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her mind was still scrutinizing all the ways she wronged Timmy when they were younger. “I know this is random but I shouldn’t have kicked you out at my birthday party when we were kids.” She blurted. She took a deep breath. “You were braver than I ever was at that age.”
“Um… Wow.” Timmy’s eyes widened a bit. “I think I forgave you a long time ago. I was never mad at you for that.” He shrugged.
“You weren't?”
“Nah.” Timmy waved a hand in the air, like he was brushing off the past. “I understood what being popular meant to you.”
“Oh… Wow.” That one sentence cut deep. On the one hand, it was sort of a relief. He didn’t carry the guilt around like she did for all these years. If anything she should’ve been less affected. Years of guilt disappeared into nothingness. Almost. A bit still lingered, but not to the extent it used to.
On the other hand, she felt way too seen. Especially by someone who was still sort of a loser…
A small red light flashed from Timmy’s watch. Trixie stared at it. It looked like something out of a movie.
“Damnit Neutron.” Timmy’s face scrunched in annoyance. “It’s uh, it’s been nice seeing you again Trixie, but I really have to go.” He gave an apologetic smile.
Timmy handed her the comic they both wanted.
“Thanks…” She took the slightly beaten up comic. His smudged fingerprints marred the glossy sheen of the cover.
“See you later.” He waved her goodbye and ran out the door.
She waved goodbye back. Not that he saw her wave him goodbye. The door closed with her hand still in the air.
There she was. Alone. For a moment she knew what it was like to have someone see her. Someone who talked casually with her. Just like she was a regular person. Now that moment was gone. Back to the status quo. It felt like she still had so much to say. So much to apologize for, so many more wrongs to right.
She was oddly saddened by the fact that their reunion had been cut short.
He couldn’t leave now. What if she never saw him again? She wanted to make sure that ‘see you later’ became a reality. There was a chance they could meet again. They found each other here, and she could find him again. Or maybe they’d never see each other again. She had been coming to this store for years and never ran into him. Not until today.
Before she knew it she had grabbed another random comic off the shelf, taken out a pen from her purse, and scribbled her number across the cover. It was so ugly, she nearly cried. She threw twenty dollars at the cashier for both comics. She probably overpaid, but who cared? Trixie didn’t.
“Wait!” Trixie burst through the door, foot catching on the threshold. Fucking- These stupid-ass heels! How is a girl supposed to run after a guy in these conditions?
Her eyes darted around. Please, God, don’t let her lose Timmy again. There was something about that boy. She didn’t know what but damn if she wasn’t going to figure it out. Her heart pounded in her chest with the adrenaline rush.
There were some families, kids on skateboards, and other teens around. The mall was crowded. It was one of the bigger malls in the area with a lot to do. Especially around this time of day, people were everywhere. Her eyes darted around, searching for a specific shade of pink.
There. .
The pink hat and brown hair in the slight distance. She made a run for it.
“Timmy!” She yelled.
Timmy turned around in startled surprise. “Tri-”
She shoved the comic into his hands. “My-” She took a deep breath, “number.” She exhaled, and put her hand on her knees.
“Wait, really?” Timmy considered the comic, eyebrows knitted together. He held back a smile or what she could only assume to be laughter?
“Yes.” Trixie stood up straight again, collecting herself. What in the hell possessed her to do that? She was not in her element at all , probably looking like some insane ex-girlfriend. She pushed those doubts aside, feigning disinterest.
“Your handwriting is a lot neater than mine.” Timmy chuckled.
He had to be messing with her. That was the only logical explanation. Or maybe she lost all her marbles. That was it. She was in Crazytown, population: Trixie Tang.
She took a refined breath, “Of course it is.” Just take the win, Trixie. No matter how embarrassing. “I’m serious about promises, so I’ll be seeing you later. Got it?”
Timmy looked around as if he couldn’t believe what she was saying. She couldn’t either.
“Yeah later.” He smiled.
“Good.” Trixie swiftly turned around and flipped her long, silky black hair. She left him behind, this time on her terms. No one could knock her off her game. Trixie was a Tang. Tangs got what they wanted, and for some odd reason, she wanted to see Timmy Turner again.