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What is the solar system? A simple question even a child in kindergarten could answer with no hesitation, right? According to Wikipedia, a source that is never wrong, The Solar System is the gravitationally bound system of the Sun and the objects that orbit it. Easy to understand and imagine. However, one genius man thinks otherwise and would never accept the common understanding of this term.
1)
Upon meeting the kid who murdered Carl Powers in that pool, little William knew nothing would be the same after that. Finally, there was someone out there who he could understand with no annoyance and someone who could understand him like no one other. Someone to call a friend.
Jim, a short and a very charming Irish boy, had introduced himself to him right by Carl’s locker where the shoes were, having been impressed by the boy who wanted to solve the case. Sherlock, as he preferred to call himself, had felt something he couldn’t put into words towards that boy. Overwhelming warmth had filled his heart and ever since that beautiful day in 1989, the two would send letters to each other every week, until Jim had finally gotten his driver’s license and had run away from his home, a place that did not deserve that name.
The two friends had shared Sherlock’s room (with a single bed) for months, inseparable, clinging to each other all the time. Sherlock adored Jim and Jim adored Sherlock.
Jim loved astronomy and maths the same way Sherlock loved biology and chemistry. They’d sit on the floor of the bedroom and talk for hours about all that they were passionate about, all details and information they’ve gathered on their own and secured into what they’ve come to call a “mind palace’’. Today, Jim was talking about the Solar System.
“...They have finally started learning more about it, so many new details! A bit too late if you ask me, but it's a great progress, compared to what they have had 30 years ago. Pluto is so further away from the Sun, could you-’’
“Wait, wait,’’ Sherlock interrupted his friend (oh, but was it truly a friend, when his lips tasted so good and his warmth was all he needed? He didn’t know if what they had was really a friendship, since he had never had one like that before), “don’t you mean the Earth? Why does it matter how far away the planet is from the Sun, a simple planet?’’
Jim raised an eyebrow, dumbfounded and gave him a very judging look.
“Uh, no? First of all, the Sun is a star, it’s in the center of the Solar System. Second, Earth, where we live, Sherlock, my dearest, is a planet, just like Pluto, which, well, is quite small for a planet, but you seem to lack basic knowledge of the Galaxy!’’
Sherlock scoffed and rolled his blue eyes. Jim continued to look at him with judgement in his big brown eyes.
“Why should I even know that? It’s useless information.’’
“Hm, really? By knowing this ‘useless information’, we also know how many days per year we have and when it’s a day or a night,’’ Jim said in what he attempted to be a calm voice, too annoyed by his sweet friend’s ignorance.
“Does it matter?’’
“Yeppp, it does. And now you’ve just made it into my mission to teach you the whole Galaxy until you learn it all.’’
“Goodluck in failing, Jim.’’
“Pft, as if.’’
Later on, when they had been caught making out on the floor by Mycroft, they had finally come to realise they’re not friends, but boyfriends. And oh, how nice it was for both of them to admit everything they felt with no worries. Everything was perfect, except for Sherlock’s ignorance of the Solar System…
2)
Everyone who had met Sherlock Holmes could say that he is the smartest person they’ve met. He’s a brilliant scientist and biologist, knowing everything better than anyone else, the nerd everyone hates with passion for being such a smartass through everything. He was weird and tall and too gorgeous for his own good, with angelic dark curls and stunning light eyes that change their color depending on the light they’re under. It’s almost a pity that he’s so annoying and irritating, unable to understand that he hurts people’s emotions by his rude showing off that he occasionally does during classes.
Well, he was not the only one like that, his roommate and ‘best friend’ (most people on uni had theories they’re more than best friends, but whatever) James Moriarty who was majoring in Math and Physics, also happened to be a smartass, but he was at least polite, for fuck’s sake, and would sell his notes and answers. He was a charming lad with giant brown eyes and the face of a teen who was obsessed with making the professors seem dumb when in the same room as him. The two were quite the pair.
They would have always competed in their shared classes and everyone was so done with them at this point and the second term of the year wasn’t even halfway done yet! They’d have tried to outsmart each other at every opportunity, had debates over math theories or scientific rules and wouldn’t have stopped even if they had been told to. At first, everyone thought of James as their saviour when he started to oppose Sherlock with his opinions and theses on Maths, Physics, Chemistry or literally any class, but when it started to happen in every damn class, people began disliking it.
But this time, however, things were different.
It was a beautiful Friday morning. Everyone on campus was awaiting the weekend and was excited for the upcoming Easter holidays next week. The weather was nice, the sun was shining gorgeously, the birds were singing. It all was heavenly.
Only the students who had physics were in a bad mood, knowing they’d have to listen to another fight between James and Sherlock at 7:30am, when most haven’t drunk their first cup of coffee for the day and would be hungry. No one was in a mood for this right now, they all wanted to get some sleep during the class, which had no way of happening because these two geniuses talked too fast and too loud. Oh, how bad it was…
Entering the classroom and chatting amongst each other, most students were not surprised to see the “smartasses’’ getting settled in their places. The two sat next to each other at the end of the third row, where they seemed hidden, and most could bet they sat there because of Sherlock, who happened to appear and behave like a failing student - he never brought any of the required things for the class, such as the books and notebooks, he always wore hoodies that made him look like the popular guy that every girl on campus was crushing on in an american movie and never, and it was really never, took notes or looked interested in whatever the professors were saying (when they had the chance to, because most of the time James and Sherlock explained the material in the most complex ways that even the authors of the student books didn’t even know). James was the opposite. He always had a school bag on his shoulder, filled with the notebooks and books for each class, dressed like a typical nerd (and looked adorable to most girls and even some guys) with glasses on and took notes of everything important, even though he knew everything already (and some people had a theory that he took notes so he could sell them later, which was fair). Seeing them next to each other, engaging in heated conversations for every science, was so strange at first, it was initially hard to believe they were roommates and friends (but really, who else would be a friend to either of them?). Some people who shared classes with Sherlock would say he didn’t attend if James wasn’t in the class, which was… like him. They’d see him in the library or the chemistry lab, gathering information on things no one understood. He really was weird to everyone.
The roommates were talking calmly, too close to each other, their conversation hearable to most because anyone else was either whispering or muttering. Sherlock seemed annoyed at something though.
“...I don’t see why you’re still interested in this when it’s known that the Sun goes around the Earth. That’s all you need to know about that damned system,’’ he said and suddenly everything, literally everything, went quiet.
What.the.fuck.
People began looking around in shock and disbelief, but apparently everyone had heard the exact same fucking thing.
Sherlock had just said the dumbest thing ever in the most confident voice. And he didn’t even correct himself. He never made mistakes. Not about things like that. What was wrong? No one could believe their ears at this very moment. The silence was too loud.
Suddenly, James laughed so loud, like he had heard the funniest thing in history, placed his right hand on Sherlock’s left shoulder and looked into his eyes, still laughing.
“Doofus, it’s the other way around,’’ he said through laughs, pissing Sherlock off. “You seriously don’t know it yet? How many astronomy books do I have to gift you every year so you can finally memorise it properly and how many times do I have to teach you about it?’’
Sherlock scoffed. Everyone was silent, too afraid to not get deduced by Sherlock, but also interested in gathering more information about their friendship. They acted like they had known each other prior, but kept it all a secret for some reason, leading to a lot of rumours.
“Are you still playing that damn trick on me? I know the Solar system perfectly well. It’s disappointing how you don’t know it, yet you claim to know astronomy like no one else.’’
James kept on laughing with tears in his eyes. It was quite the sight with Sherlock glaring at him like he’s going to kill him.
“Ask literally anyone, everyone will tell you the Earth goes around the Sun. It’s the most common knowledge ever.’’
“Nah, you’re lying,’’ Sherlock said and averted his gaze from his close friend. He turned to the other students and quickly looked at each of them. His gaze landed on a short brunette. “Lisa, which way is it?’’
The girl took a deep breath, “James is right.’’
“You’re serious?’’ Sherlock asked. “Jason?’’
Jason, a tall blonde jock, shrugged. “James.’’
Everyone who was asked afterwards agreed with James, which had Sherlock fuming and throwing threats back and forth to never attend a class with so many idiotic people in it. There was no way he was as dumb.
3)
Sherlock sat on the stairs before the doorstep, exhaling from his cigarette.
It was a warm summer evening in the big old London. Tourists were enjoying the capital and its beauty during the best time of the year for travelling, residents were taking walks or going home from work, the traffic was loud and the sky was stunning. It seemed nice.
Jim stood by the stairs, dressed in a black suit pants and a clean, ironed white shirt, holding a half-smoked cigarette between the fingers of his left hand, looking as gorgeous as ever. Opposite him was Irene, ever the elegantly dressed, in a black dress with a bare back, with her arms crossed before her chest. They talked, while Sherlock listened to their conversation, staring at the golden wedding band on Jim’s fourth finger. They’d been married for half a year at this point and working together for 2 months. It was all amazing after their last 2 years of working on all their problems.
“So, what’s in for you? The benefits for me are a lot, but what do you gain, Moriarty?’’ asked the young assassin, a very talented actress undercover. Her mind was sharp, the perfect fit for what they needed - a crime partner to trust, one that wouldn’t betray them. She was very loyal and so were they.
“A right hand, someone to rely on when needed’’ Jim answered with a small smirk on his pale face. Although nearing 25, he still looked like he was fresh out of his teens. “You are a powerful asset, Miss Adler. I believe we can do a lot for each other, together.’’
The woman hummed and turned to look at Sherlock. He wasn’t as charming as his husband when it came to getting new auditions to the web, he was in for the organising of the crimes and for killing the bigger threats. Jim was the face of the web, the one telling everyone what to do, Sherlock was his partner in planning and scheming. Together, they were unstoppable, too strong for any government.
“It seems to me like you already have a right hand,’’ she said, as if Sherlock was not present.
Jim looked at Sherlock, expecting him to indulge in the conversation.
“I am more than that, Adler,’’ Sherlock said and Jim nodded. “A partner in crime is more fitting, but you can also call me Moriarty.’’
Irene smiled and got closer to him, looking down, but not mockingly. She was intrigued.
“That’s quite interesting. Are you the second mind behind it all? I’ve never heard of you before.’’
“One has to be known and it is not me.’’
Sherlock pulled a fake smile and took the cigarette into his mouth, staring at Irene’s eyes.
“Seems fair. I accept your offer, Moriarty.’’
“You’ve made the right choice,’’ Jim said and offered his free hand to her.
She turned to him, accepted it and they shook hands, sealing their deal.
She then turned back to Sherlock, who also offered his hand.
“You have this mysterious aura, Moriarty,’’ Irene said to him and smiled, while shaking his hand. “Are the both of you really Moriarty?’’
“Yes,’’ the husbands replied, Sherlock stood up.
“What a coincidence. It’s such a rare last name.’’
“Oh, we’ve found each other,’’ Jim said and took a glance at Sherlock. “We need to get going.’’
Sherlock nodded and dropped his cigarette on the ground, then stepped on it and reached into his pocket for his phone so he could contact a driver to pick them up, but only found a note. Pulling it out, he opened it and immediately rolled his eyes at his lover.
‘The Earth goes around the Sun, the star that’s in the center of the Solar System that’s located in the Milky way.’
“Give me my phone,’’ he commanded, annoyed. Irene grabbed the note, while Sherlock was reaching his hand to Jim, and laughed out loud.
“You don’t know the Solar System?’’ she asked in shock.
“I do!’’ Sherlock yelled in defense and Jim had the audacity to fucking jiggle. In front of their new asset at that!
“No, you don’t,’’ Jim said through jiggles. “You’ve never did and you’re also not getting your phone.’’
“I fucking hate you,’’ Sherlock groaned and Irene laughed. Jim kept giggling.
“You sure seem to do,’’ Irene teased. “Now the wedding rings make sense.’’
Jin hummed and pulled out his phone, typed something and got it back in his pants’ pocket.
“Now you’re working for someone who doesn’t know the Solar System and someone who tries to teach him the Solar System.’’
“I will never accept your lies,’’ Sherlock said.
“Oh, he’s quite the stubborn kind,’’ Irene laughed.
Soon enough, the car Jim ordered arrived, but Sherlock was already pissed at both, especially Jim, for not believing his truth…
4)
“Doofus, you still don’t understand the Solar System!’’ Jim yelled and Sebastian raised his brow in confusion.
The sniper sat on the sofa in the living room of what Jim Moriarty called “the small London flat’’, even though it was bigger than a damn one floor house in the countryside. Having been working for the drama queen of a criminal mastermind, who he also considered to be his best friend, for the past year and a half, as his right hand and his main sniper, he had seen and experienced too many things one normally shall not. He knew he was initially a replacement for Irene Adler, the Woman, who wanted to be independent, but didn’t care. The pay was good, Moriarty was an interesting man, although easily considered to be insane, and very, very pretentious.
Well, he also happened to have a husband, a damn detective at that, who was equally smart, pretentious and unique. He was even more irritating, refusing to shut up, always stubborn about everything. And it turns out he doesn’t know the damn Solar System?
Sebastian was working from Jim’s place, replying to clients’ emails. As Jim’s right hand, he was by his side every day in every country, except for the times where Jim needed his alone time with his detective. The two were so disgustingly sweet to each other, Sebastian was sure he’d get diabetes one day from being in their company too much, too often.
“You don’t understand it, James!’’ Sherlock yelled back. As far as Sebastian was aware, the two were in their bedroom, up to Lord knows what.
“You fucking don’t, Sherlock! We’ve been together almost 10 years and you still refuse to learn that damned simple Solar System! At this point I’m starting to think you’re doing it on purpose.’’
Sebastian didn’t know whether to laugh or to gasp in real shock. Like how was that even possible? Sherlock, who knew everything about everything, didn’t know the stupid Solar System? Sherlock, who knew everything about everyone by just taking a look at them? What an idiot he actually was.
“Y’all,’’ he called out, his american accent breaking the tension in the air, and the silence that followed was his sign to continue, “even I, an american, know my Solar System!’’
Sherlock scoffed so loud and Jim spoke up.
“Did you hear that, Sherlock? Even a stupid American like Sebastian knows about the ‘boring’ solar system!"
Alright, Sebastian didn’t like being called stupid, but it was Jim, so he’d let it slide. His boss thought of anyone who wasn’t him, his husband or that woman as stupid, although Sherlock might as well fit into that category that involved the whole population of the Earth when he didn’t even seem to know about the system it was located in. It felt really nice to know something the genius annoying detective didn’t know.
“It’s actually boring, I don’t have to know it!”
“You also don’t have to know every classical piece, but you do!”
“That’s another thing.’’
Sebastian couldn’t sometimes believe he was stuck with these two…
5)
Jim loved having dinners with his husband, his everything. He loved observing the brilliant and stunning man that Sherlock was, loved listening to his deep voice and loved being loved by him. He loved his smile, his laugh, his light colored eyes, his dark curls, his charisma, his passions, his mind and his heart. Oh, how much he adored him and admired him for all that he was…
Sitting opposite each other on a double table in one of the fanciest restaurants in Paris, in honor of Jim’s 30th birthday (and had plans to go stargazing after their dinner), the two consultants were staring at each other with looks of love. Jim was smiling softly, while eating his dessert, listening to Sherlock go on and on about his latest interest that was about spiders and their poisons.
Sherlock was holding his glass of wine, never moving his eyes from Jim’s giant brown irises. On this special occasion, he was dressed in his fanciest suit alongside a really tight dark red shirt, just like Jim told him to. The criminal loved his husband’s shirts, especially the dark colored ones, and especially loved taking them off. Those thoughts had to be set aside though, the night was not here yet and their plans involved more things before they could give in to their sexual desires.
“Would you want some wine, my love?” Sherlock asked mockingly out of nowhere, immediately irritating Jim.
The thing that no one knew about Jim (except Sherlock) was that he hated alcohol in general. He faked drinking it when meeting clients face to face or when having dinner with someone, but when alone with Sherlock he never even bothered to order a glass. The taste of alcohol was disgusting to him and he despised it on his lips. Sherlock joking about that was one of his dumb attempts to tease him, but Jim had a card up his sleeve to use.
“Oh, dear, you never learn. Just like you never learnt the Solar System.”
Sherlock immediately rolled his eyes, his ego hurt. How could he still refuse to acknowledge the Solar System was beyond Jim. At this point he thought Sherlock did it out of spite.
“You really love lying, Jim. I will never care about this pointless thing.”
“Don't ruin the mood with your stubbornness and just drink your disgusting wine,” Jim said and continued eating his sweet dessert. Sherlock just groaned in annoyance and said quietly, “I guess that's what I earn after offering you wine.”
“Correct.”
Nodding in defeat, Sherlock took a sip out of the red liquid and extended his free hand to his husband. Jim took it and squeezed it gently, then looked at the chocolate souffle that was served with vanilla ice cream. “Would you want to try?” he asked and smiled.
“Sure.”
Under the last sun rays, the two shared the chocolate souffle, as Jim still thought of his husband's old refusal to learn about the basics of Space. He really did fail in that…
+1)
One thing that Sherlock Holmes hardly ever did was laugh until he could barely breathe. He would sometimes giggle or chuckle, but laugh? The people who've been the cause of that sound where two and one was currently what was causing it - Jim, fighting with John in the living room, while Sherlock was writing in his blog. What was happening was so bizarre and new, Sherlock could almost say he didn’t believe it, but he did. Jim was defending him about that goddamn Solar System.
“Are you two on drugs?” John asked and Jim stared him down like he was going to murder him right here. Sherlock wouldn't be surprised if he actually did.
“You've lost your damn mind,” James said, not faking his voice to sound teasing or scary, just making it seem furious. “Why would you even do that? I thought even you are smarter than that.”
Oh, Sherlock really felt like laughing, and he actually was. After a decade and a half of Jim bullying him in front of people about that damned System, he was putting up a fight with John, who had mentioned Sherlock’s lack of knowledge of the Solar System in his blog. It was truly ironic, his husband’s need to try to make the doctor seem like a fool for what he's always judged Sherlock for.
“Are you really serious? Him, I could believe to ignore that, but you?”
“How could we ignore what's been proven?”
The scene that was in front of Sherlock was hilarious. John and Jim were near the couches, staring at each other with what at first appeared like hatred (but was only present in Jim's eyes). Jim, the taller one, was purposefully staring down, and John was looking up. Jim wore Sherlock’s pajamas and John was dressed for work. They seemed to not hear Sherlock's laughter.
“No, you're not serious,” John said, giving up on arguing, and turned his back on James. “You're not bloody serious.”
“I am. When you throw accusations about how something scientifically proven is false, you have to explain why you think so, but how could you know?” Jim said with a small smirk on his face, directed at Sherlock, and John immediately turned to him, making Jim hide his smirk.
“How could I know? Are you for real? I've studied science for the majority of my life!”
“Well, so have I! You're not a genius, so don't you dare doubt what one tells you, doctor.”
John puffed and threw his hands in the air in disbelief, “I can't put up with the both of you, I swear to God!”
And then he stormed off from the room, leaving Jim and Sherlock alone. Jim finally looked at the laughing Sherlock and raised an eyebrow.
“Just because I said that in front of John doesn’t mean I'll ever give up on teasing you about the Solar System,” he calmly stated and headed towards the sofa Sherlock was sitting on.
“Whatever you say, my love!”
Jim rolled his beautiful eyes and kissed Sherlock’s temple. No matter how many years pass, Sherlock will never learn the Solar System and Jim won't ever leave him alone about it…