Chapter Text
Merlin didn’t know why he had to go. He didn’t know what he hoped to achieve by leaving to find her. She’d probably turn him away, or torture him. Was he really looking to tell her he still loved her after all these years? Was getting torture in increasing amounts of pain worth it just to see her face again?
Merlin really wanted to say yes. Because if she slammed the door in his face or kicked him out then that would torture his heart. He had tried shutting all of the feelings out, and for the most part of years it had worked.
That made Merlin think of the first time they had kissed. He had thought to himself that if she wasn’t Uther’s ward or if she had magic too then maybe they could work it out. Both those things had happened now but… Merlin shook his head. If he got carried away then the inevitable rejection would hurt even more than it was going to.
He kept slouching through the forest, knowing exactly how to get to Morgana’s cave, even if she wasn’t there anymore. He kicked over a couple of stones as he walked further and further towards the murkiest parts of the forest.
*
Morgana had had enough! If she dreamed that dream, one more time she was going to burst. Why did her dreams taunt her in this way? Were they trying to get her to crack; break down in thousands of miserable tears?
Suddenly, hoping that she had had a prophetic dream, she ran from her bed to the door and wrenched it wide open, almost ripping it out of the doorway. It was silent. Not a single person was about in this part of the forest, not now and hardly ever. He wasn’t coming. Hanging her head Morgana reclosed the door and collapsed against it on the other side.
She wiped her eyes ferociously, determined to not let the tears come. She had vowed to forget him, forget all that could have been and leave it. But now she was so absorbed in killing Arthur that Merlin would never come anywhere near her. She wasn’t good anymore, she was twisted and malicious. And no guy, no sorcerer no anybody would ever want to love someone so evil.
Morgana need a friend. Someone she could hug and cry into. Someone who would help her or tell her that everything would be alright. She only had one, and although they couldn’t exactly hug, they could help her a little, it was time to be honest.
*
Merlin was so tired. He felt physically and emotionally drained. Clearly he wasn’t built for walking long distances while thinking over a lot of personal things. Things that needed as much attention as possible and couldn’t just be left to be handled by his brain while the rest of his efforts were focused on making sure he was on the right track. He zoomed forward in his head and saw that he was getting closer. He recognised the formation of trees, which was weird because he hadn’t come here before, well not keeping an eye on where he was at least.
If he was going to have any strength left when he saw her again, he needed to rest. He found a little hole in the ground, big enough to conceal a person and tight and small enough that it should be quite warm and cosy. Merlin lowered himself down into the hole and curled up and fell asleep in moments.
He hadn’t had a dream with this much mystery and fog in absolute years. There was a girl in a crowded room. She had messy hair, mud on her face and torn garments and yet she was still the most beautiful person in the room. He wanted to hug her, hold her and never let go of her but before he was a few paces closer towards her she was being tortured and hung up, and he was forced to clean a mountain of socks.
Then Gwen turned up, dressed as regal as a Queen should be and even though she wasn’t a servant anymore she sat and cleaned the socks so he could escape. Merlin ran across the room, the other figures melting away as he gained on the small person, all chained up and sickly.
He helped her up and nursed her. He never wanted to see her with so much a cough, let alone tortured and imprisoned for standing up for what she believed in.
“I’ll never let you go again. Morgana, I love you.”
Merlin woke with a jolt, narrowly missing banging his head when he sat up in the little cubbyhole. He did, he did love her truly. How could he have taken so many years to realise that he never wanted to be with anyone else for the rest of his life.
*
“Aithusa, I have to tell you something. When I was younger, many years before I met you, I could have loved someone. I really could have. But then my life truly started and now I don’t think he’d look twice at me. Have I really ruined my chance? I need him Aithusa. I need him to come here and hold me; I need a friend, someone I can really trust. Someone who’ll never leave me. I don’t just need anyone, I need him.”
Aithusa had never seen Morgana like this. Crying her heart out, vulnerable in ways she had never seen on any being before; let alone the strong, confident Morgana.
“Morgana I need to know. Who is this man?”
Morgana bit her lip and whispered in such a tiny voice that Aithusa couldn’t hear. Aithusa stared at her until she said it again; shouting so loud that the nearby birds flew up like a gunshot.
“MERLIN! I love Merlin.”
Aithusa smiled which irritated Morgana. She had come for advice, not to be laughed at. “What’s so funny? I told you the truth and you’re busy laughing at me!”
“Morgana, you have answered your own problems.” Morgana looked stunned as Aithusa flew off, leaving her with the annoying little riddle which didn’t make any sense at all. How had she answered her own problem?
*
Merlin ran with a sudden new lease of energy towards the small hut. He knew within seconds of seeing the place that Morgana was there. There was an essence that she carried around with her and it seemed to be in the heart of the place itself.
At the door, he hesitated. He didn’t know whether to knock or what to do. What if he scared her if he started banging against the door? He didn’t want to start this by making her scared. Deciding he couldn’t wait any longer he knocked her door calling out her name as he did so.
Morgana heard her name being called and recognised the voice. Within she had matched the voice to the face and almost landed on her face in her excitement to get the door. She wrenched it open and stared into Merlin’s face not knowing what to do
“Morgana, I love you.” Merlin said simply, staring right into her eyes, making sure he got his point across. Morgana looked back and kissed him. He kissed her back, cradling her neck and holding her hair. It was as though all those years of crying and forgetting had never existed. There was then, and there was now and in the now, two people were about to become the happiest couple ever, hiding themselves from the world as they lived out the rest of their days in only the company of each other and a couple of dragons.