Chapter Text
It had been thirteen years since Nerissa Benedict had seen a member of her family. The loss of them was the sort of absence that never stopped hurting, but did, with time, become familiar. A dull pain and emptiness she dragged behind her like luggage as she traveled from town to town.
She’d been on the road by herself since the incident. Nerissa had only been ten years old at the time. Fending for yourself on the streets is never an easy prospect, but young Nerissa had had one advantage: she was psychic. Controlling another’s mind and actions wasn’t her specialty and her mother’s lectures on ethical use of her powers prevented her from using them to steal, but Nerissa needed to survive somehow. So, she developed a routine. She’d arrive in a town, find someone in need of an “odd job” done or some sort of work that she could do, and then slowly and carefully work her way into their mind. She’d…well, Nerissa didn’t like to think of it as making them do anything but rather convincing them. Convincing them to hire her, convincing them not question why she was a child traveling alone in need of work, convincing them to give her a place to stay and food to eat, convincing them not to question anything until Nerissa’s spell wore off, and by then, she was long gone, off to the next town. She couldn’t risk staying in one place for very long. Staying meant developing roots, relationships, and Nerissa knew better than to risk becoming attached to anyone again. She would only end up hurting them. That was a lesson she’d learned the hard way.
But there was another reason Nerissa was eager to stay on the move. She wasn’t about to risk them finding her.
She tried to tell herself it was simply a precaution. There was no way they would waste their time looking for her even if they thought she was alive. Furthermore, there was no reason for them to think she was alive, because the official report of the incident stated that she and her entire family had perished that night in a tragic accident.
In truth, only half the family had died that night, though Nerissa knew in her heart that dead or alive, she would never see any of them again. She would never see her brothers or any of her other living relatives again, because it wasn’t safe for her to be around them and she couldn’t risk hurting them. She would also never see the rest of her family again because, well, Nerissa couldn’t imagine any world where she’d end up in heaven or any good place to be reunited with family after she died, and even if she could get there, she knew better than to hope forgiveness was possible or that she could hope to see her mother and father looking at her with love in their eyes again. After what she did, such a reunion was impossible. Nerissa knew that and was resolved to think of what happened as little as possible, to keep moving forward.
But it’s hard to move forward when you have nothing to work towards and live for no one. Nerissa was surviving but had nothing and no one left to survive for. It was a purposeless hollow existence, one defined by echoes of fear and guilt and nightmares that whispered in her ears:
“You killed them.”
“You’re a monster.”
“You can’t run forever.”
“Remember how terrified they looked?”
“Nessa-”
“Shut up!” she’d whisper through gritted teeth, willing the voices to be silent, to leave her be, to leave her to suffer alone.
Yet, though the years had gone by, the nightmares never seemed to cease, and every night Nerissa would wake up shivering and crying with nothing and no one to comfort her but the darkness that hid her.
Nerissa had become rather skilled at hiding. She kept her head down, her voice quiet, her presence as hidden as possible. In some ways it was more difficult when she started, since people will question a child traveling on their own, but in other ways, it had been easier. Children are small and can easily slip through crowds and vanish, but adults stand out and are rather hard to miss. Still, Nerissa was careful, never staying in the same place for too long, lest she make her presence known.
But traveling did get tiresome, and perhaps that was why, despite her fears, Nerissa decided to make one fatal mistake.
At the age of twenty-three, she decided to rent her own apartment.
It was almost too tempting to refuse. The apartment was the smallest one in the building and located at the end of a hallway with no balcony and leaky pipes, so no one wanted it. Furthermore, rent was cheap, and the landlord had a very generous policy of not asking his tenants for their employment records as long as they didn’t ask him whether he was following proper maintenance and property upkeep laws and report him to the neighborhood Home Owners Association. It was a place Nerissa could go to simply lie down, a place she could be, her own place, small and humble as it might be, rather than a motel room or tent on the side of road or homeless shelter or church pew. And unlike all those places, it was a place where she could be alone. Truly and completely alone, where no one could hurt her but more importantly: she could hurt no one.
For a few months, it was bliss. She was located just a twenty-minute walk from the library and a ten-minute walk from the local food pantry, which were the only places Nerissa ever really needed to go when she wasn’t looking for work. For the first time in over a decade, Nerissa began to slowly let herself fall into a sense of peace. Maybe…maybe this would do for the rest of her life. It wasn’t great, but she could make it work, and maybe she could relax a bit. No more jumping at every sound, no more constant looking over her shoulder.
But Nerissa should have supposed that the moment she thought she could have peace would be the moment they found her.
She realized it the moment she came up the stairs and saw that the door to her apartment had been opened. Realistically, it could have been a maintenance worker, her landlord finally doing something about the smoke detectors before the city decided to come after him.
Somehow, Nerissa knew it wasn’t that. It was a horror that filled her with dread and sent a shiver up her spine the moment she laid her eyes on the open door.
They had found her.
She turned to run, only to see a man and a woman at the end of the hall waiting for her.
“Come with us,” the woman ordered, but Nerissa didn’t listen. She backed down the hall away from her would-be captors.
“Get away!” she warned, her voice trembling and shaking. “Or I’ll hurt you!”
“No,” corrected a voice behind her, the voice of a man stepping out of her apartment. “You won’t. There’s no need to worry about that anymore, my dear. You’re safe now.”
Before Nerissa could turn to face him, she felt him forcibly grab hold of her arm and force something around her wrist. She cried out in pain as she felt a horrible burning sensation make its way through her body. She looked down to find a small metal bracelet making a terrible buzzing sound.
Nerissa began violently pulling and tugging at the bracelet, trying everything in her power to remove it, but it wouldn’t budge.
“It will be alright, Nessa,” promised the man softly as he knelt next to her. “I know it hurts, but it won’t cause any damage, and it will subdue your powers until you learn to regain control of them. You don’t have to worry about hurting anyone. We’ve made sure of that. Now, let’s get you home. Your mother would never forgive me if she knew I was letting you live in a place like this.”
“Don’t talk about my mom,” whispered Nerissa, still trembling and fiddling with the bracelet in vain as she angrily and painfully met Aleksandr’s eyes.
“What should we do with her, sir?” asked the man as he and the woman grabbed Nerissa and brought her to her feet.
“Take her to the car,” ordered Aleksandr. “The poor girl is in shock. We’ll get her a bath and a proper meal, and then, I believe we have some catching up to do.”
Nerissa tried to protest, but the words wouldn’t come out. She tried to escape, but unfortunately, Aleksandr was right. The bracelet was cutting off her powers, though it did not cut off her narcolepsy. Nerissa hardly had time to struggle in their arms and declared that she would never, under any circumstances, go with them, before she immediately fell asleep.
She woke up to find herself in a bedroom.
It was a nice bedroom. The bed was comfortable and enormous, there was a desk and sitting area and bookshelves filled with books that Nerissa recognized as some of her childhood favorites. The bracelet was gone, and sitting on the chair next to her bed was a set of clean clothes. A table was set for two with a hot meal waiting.
Nerissa ignored the clothes and food. She had to get out of here. If Aleksandr thought he could win her over with a bedroom and fancy clothes and books and food, then he was completely deluded.
Nerissa tried the door. Locked.
There was another door that led to a bathroom and another door that led to a closet, but there were no windows, and no other exits.
She was trapped.
Nerissa sat herself in the middle of the room.
She didn’t know if there was a camera somewhere or if they were having someone use their powers to watch her, but either way, she wasn’t going to give them any satisfaction.
She sat in silence, staring at the wall.
Hours went by. Her stomach growled, but Nerissa ignored it, telling herself the food left for her was probably cold by now anyway.
Days went by. Nerissa, refusing to sleep in the bed they gave her, had resigned herself to lying on the floor.
She didn’t get up. If they wanted to talk to her, they would have to speak first.
Finally, they did.
“It pains me to see you like this.”
“Ah,” said Nerissa, not bothering to look around. “So, you can see me. Rather an invasion of privacy, though I suppose it’s to be expected when I’m your prisoner.”
“Just an occasional check in to make sure you’re alright,” Aleksandr’s voice replied from the other side of the door. “Do you mind if I come in?”
“I minded when you showed up at my apartment and kidnapped me,” replied Nerissa.
Aleksandr opened the door.
“I rescued you,” he emphasized. “From horrible living conditions. I understand you’ve been through so much after losing your mother. I understand that you were a child and things between your mother and I had become…complicated.”
“Complicated?” repeated Nerissa angrily, finally pulling herself up from the floor to glare at him, careful to keep her anger controlled just enough so that she wouldn’t fall asleep.
“You killed her. You’re the reason she’s dead.”
This, at last, seemed to have an effect and the confident, patronizing, pitying look on Aleksandr’s face finally broke, for a moment.
But only for a moment.
“You’re angry,” he said simply. “And after what happened, I can see why you would be looking to blame anyone besides yourself. But please know, I don’t blame you, Nessa, for what happened. It was tragic accident, a loss I’ll mourn for the rest of my life.”
“Please. You never cared about her.”
“Your mother was my friend. Of course, I cared about her. We were family.”
“My father and my brothers were her family,” replied Nerissa, keeping her face as neutral and accusatory as possible without giving way to unbridled anger. “They were our family. Do you mourn them too?”
Nerissa could feel her own heart beating in her chest as she studied Aleksandr’s face carefully but kept a defiant look on her face.
Aleksandr sighed, barely bothering to cover the disappointment her question brought.
“I understand losing them was also a…trial for you,” he admitted with difficulty.
Nerissa felt something inside of her finally relaxing, just a little bit.
Aleksandr didn’t know her brothers survived. He truly thought they were dead.
They were safe.
“But it would be disrespectful to your mother’s memory, our friendship, and everything she fought for to let animosity and stubbornness prevent you from having a full life. I’ll have new food brought in for both of us. I know I’ll never be as good a cook as she was, but I suggest you try to eat it. You must be starving.”
Nerissa shrugged but stood up. If this was the game Aleksandr wanted to play, she could play it. She’d done it before. The only difference was that this time, she knew better than to believe him.
She silently grabbed the clothes he’d left for her, went to the bathroom, showered, changed, and came out to find he’d prepared food for both of them.
She sat down across from him, eating slowly and quietly, doing her best not to desperately shovel the food down her throat, though she felt like doing so.
“Do you like your room?” asked Aleksandr, after allowing her about thirty minutes of eating in silence.
“You mean my prison cell?” said Nerissa, sarcastically, looking around at the comfortable and beautiful room that had been prepared for her. “Oh, it’s lovely. Ten-year-old me would have been delighted by it. The only complaint I have is about that nasty lock on the door.”
Aleksandr frowned.
“It’s not my intention to hold you prisoner,” he lectured. “Only to keep you here where you belong, for your own safety. One day, I hope that you will agree to stay here willingly and happily and be our family again, but right now it’s too dangerous for you to be on your own, when there are people who want to hurt us.”
“People like you?”
“No,” said Aleksandr, a hint of anger creeping into his voice before his gentler tone returned. “People who are worse than you could ever imagine. People who are envious of our powers, afraid of our existence, and eager to use us for their own wicked gains and destroy us the moment we become of no use to them. I protect us from them, and I have created a path forward towards a better future for all of us. I would love for you to be a part of that future, Nessa. It’s what your mother would have wanted.”
“You have no idea what she would have wanted,” dismissed Nerissa. “And if she was here, she’d tell you as much. We both know it.”
“I won’t deny that we had our differences,” admitted Aleksandr. “And Anki went on to make some…questionable decisions, but the two of us survived hell together. She was determined to keep you from that hell, and in that goal, you know we were aligned. Remember, you were a child, Nessa. Despite what you may think, there were things you didn’t know and aspects of these situations that you were too young to understand.”
“Well, I’m an adult now,” declared Nerissa, setting down her fork. “Why don’t you explain them? I’m very eager to hear how you plan to justify kidnapping me. Maybe you can start by explaining that awful bracelet.”
“Awful indeed,” agreed Aleksandr. “I won’t object to you calling it a torture device, but given your lack of control over your abilities, it was a necessary evil to transport you here safely.”
“I’m not wearing one now.”
“No, you’ve not.”
“Are you afraid I’ll hurt you?”
“You can certainly try. You would likely succeed given your talents. But ultimately, the amount of security we have here could overpower you, and my goal is not to see you suffer. We are family, Nessa.”
“I’m not your family,” corrected Nerissa. “I had a family.”
“As did I,” agreed Aleksandr. “And I know what that loss can do to you, but now we have each other, and thanks to my efforts, we have something greater: a future. Please, at least let me show you.”
Nerissa silently contemplated the offer.
She wanted to refuse, but she also knew she wouldn’t have anywhere else to go unless she understood where she was.
She reluctantly nodded and followed Aleksandr out of the room.
As Aleksandr led Nerissa down rows and rows of hallways, she discovered that wherever she was larger and grander than she could ever have imagined. It looked like a fancy hotel, conference hall, and training grounds all rolled into one.
“My life’s work,” explained Aleksandr. “A safe haven for any and all psychics, no matter their country of origin. Refugees from their government’s tyranny.”
“Philanthropic,” muttered Nerissa, as she looked around at nicely dressed people milling about.
“But this,” continued Aleksandr, leading her across a long skyway into another building, “is my finest achievement. Look down there.”
Nerissa looked down through the glass, towards the ground outside where Aleksandr was pointing.
It seemed to be a sort of training ground outside the building where a group of high school aged girls were standing around in what looked like school uniforms.
Two of the girls were standing in a circle in the middle of the field. One had dark curly hair, and the other was short and blonde. Their backs were turned to each other, with both girls facing the outside of the circle.
A woman standing next to the girls blew a whistle.
Nerissa watched as two girls who had been standing back-to-back turned to face each other.
They didn’t seem to be doing anything. Just staring at each other, but they both looked extremely focused, as if they were concentrating with all their might.
Then the girl with darker hair groaned and grabbed her head.
Nerissa watched as the blonde girl confidently took a step forward and seemed to whisper something in the other girls’ ear, though Nerissa herself was too far away to hear their conversation.
“Just give up,” whispered the blonde girl. “I don’t want to have to hurt you for real.”
“You think you’re something special, don’t you?” grunted the other girl. “I’ve been waiting for the chance to pass you all semester. You really think I’m going to give up that easily?”
“You will if you’re smart,” the first girl replied. “Being top of the class isn’t worth this, none of it is. Just surrender.”
“You surrender,” countered the second girl. “If all this really means nothing to you.”
The blonde girl didn’t answer.
The other girl smirked.
“See, you’re not gonna do that, are you?” she asked. “That’s what I thought. Others might fall for your little pacifist act, but we both know you’re more devoted to this place than any of us. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be at the top of the class.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” countered the blonde girl, projecting her message into the other’s head.
“Then show me,” suggested the second girl. “Surrender. Let me win. Prove me wrong right now.”
The two girls continued to stare at each other.
Neither of them backed down.
“That’s right,” said the second girl, just loud enough for a few other classmates to hear. “Exactly what I thought. Can’t have Little Miss. Perfect disappointing father, now can we?”
Suddenly, Nerissa watched as the blonde girl stepped forward and screamed.
The other girl, who had seemed smug just seconds earlier, shrieked and put her hands over her ears as she fell to the floor with tears running down her face.
The coach blew her whistle.
“Alright, you got your victory, Cornelia, you don’t need to rub it in, save that anger for the enemy. Remember girls, this is practice. Harm against fellow psychics should be minimal,” she barked, before addressing the other girl. “Come on, get up, walk it off. I promise there’s a lot worse than that out there. You’ll be fine.”
Nerissa glanced at Aleksandr, who had never looked prouder, as he smiled down at the tiny blonde girl below.
“A school to train young psychics to use their powers. One of my finest accomplishments. If the stars had aligned, I would have loved for you to have been a pupil there yourself,” he explained.
“Just girls?” asked Nerissa.
“We have an all-boys school as well,” explained Aleksandr. “We keep them separate. Makes it easier to encourage the students to focus on their own development and develop a healthy comradery amongst themselves.”
Before Nerissa had time to comment that none of what she’d just seen looked like anything resembling a “healthy comradery”, Aleksandr was already ready to continue the tour.
As they left, Nerissa looked down just in time to see the blonde girl silently looking up at her and Aleksandr through the glass.
Nerissa looked back at her briefly, before she disappeared from sight.
“And you remember Dr. Galton,” said Aleksandr, as he escorted Nerissa into the lab and directed her towards a no-nonsense looking woman wearing a lab coat and high heels, her long blonde hair tied in a bun.
“Vaguely,” admitted Nerissa. “It’s nice to see Aleksandr isn’t the only one of my mother’s old friends who decided to stab her in the back.”
“How dare you! You have no idea what I-” exclaimed Dr. Galton, but Aleksandr put his hand up.
“Maya, please. It’s Nessa, and she’s been through a lot. I think we can forgive a few harsh words.”
Dr. Galton sighed and nodded.
“Yes. Of course. Lovely to see you again, Nessa. Hopefully, you’ll come to appreciate what we have to offer here.”
“I’m afraid I’m still a little bit unsure what exactly that offer is,” explained Nerissa.
“A future. A family,” Aleksandr emphasized. “We have our own schools, government, healthcare, community, technology, everything you could ever want or need.”
“And in exchange you want me to be one of your little super soldiers like those girls from the school?” guessed Nerissa.
“I want to help you control your powers,” said Aleksandr gently. “So that you no longer have to be so afraid of yourself, so that you can become the person you were born to be. So that you can have safety and protection from those who threaten to wipe out, control, and enslave us, just as your mother always wanted for you.”
“My mother wanted so much more than that for me,” muttered Nerissa.
“Yes,” said Aleksandr. “She did. Anki was always idealistic. Perhaps she wanted too much, but I believe that much of this place honors her memory. As you can see, Dr. Galton and her team have committed themselves to developing new technology that will enable us to increase and harness our powers. In this way, we ensure our people no only live on, but thrive.”
Nerissa’s eyes rolled over their technology. She wasn’t sure what to say. She was too heartbroken to be angry.
“You…you’re still building them?” she asked. “To honor my mother’s memory? Of all things, why would you? How could you?”
“We’ve taken extensive safety protocols,” explained Aleksandr, putting his hand on his shoulder. “We’re doing this to help people, Nerissa, not hurt them.”
“I remember what you tried to do,” Nerissa whispered.
Aleksandr frowned.
“You were a child. There were many things that happened that night, and I don’t expect you to have the best memory or understanding of the situation,” he lectured. “Perhaps that’s enough touring for one day. Thank you, Maya.”
Dr. Galton nodded, and turned to leave, but before she did, Nerissa noticed something.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Ah!” said Aleksandr, pleased to see Nerissa taking an interest in their work. “The clothing, I’m glad you asked. These gloves are individualized with a neural link that goes to a specific psychic user-”
“-no. Out the window. The building with the sign in the front of it that says: “Rehabilitation and Psychotherapy Treatment Center,” noted Nerissa. “What is that?”
Aleksandr and Dr. Galton glanced at each other. Then Aleksandr sighed.
“Well…” he began. “Unfortunately, some of the psychics that come to live with us have seen and experienced some terrible things. The center is where we help them until they recover.”
“Can I see it?” asked Nerissa.
“I’m afraid not,” said Aleksandr. “Bad for the patients, they need their privacy.”
“Is that what I am? A patient?” asked Nerissa. “You’re not keeping me at the rehab center.”
“We’re not,” agreed Aleksandr. “Because it’s as I said. You’re not a patient or a prisoner, my dear. You’re family, just as you’ve always been. Come along.”
Nerissa glanced back at the building. It seemed strange that the center should be connected to Dr. Galton’s lab and not the hospital. It seemed even stranger that Aleksandr described the place as being for people like her yet was having her live elsewhere. Perhaps it was because of their personal connections, but Nerissa had a sinking feeling in her gut that it was more than that.
At last, they made it back to her room.
“I would love to find a role for you, in our new society,” explained Aleksandr. “I know it will take time to earn your trust, but believe me, Nessa, all I want is for this to be your home. I understand that means accepting that you and I might occasionally have different…perspectives on certain things. I’m not oblivious to that, and I don’t intend to completely change your mind. My hope is that in time, we might be able to come to a happy compromise.”
“Could you start by not locking my bedroom door?” asked Nerissa.
Aleksandr sighed.
“Perhaps in a few weeks,” he suggested. “Once you’ve been acclimated. In the meantime, if you need anything, just say the word and we’ll send someone in. Goodnight, Nessa.”
He closed the door.
Nerissa heard the lock.
She felt like she was going to be sick.
He and Dr. Galton were still building the devices. They were still continuing their work.
Had her mother, their friend, really meant so little to them? Had Nerissa herself meant so little? And yet, they were still calling her Nessa and gave her a nice room, as if she was still their family, as if she could ever trust them or believe they still cared about her or her family after they…they…
Nerissa broke down in tears, turning towards her pillows.
What was she going to do? She’d already seen from the tour Aleksandr gave that the place was secure. If she fought back, he’d merely put those awful buzzing bracelets back on her wrist and give more patronizing lectures about how it was all for the best. Yet, the alternative was to give in. To go along with whatever he had planned, at least to a degree. To play along until she had enough information and power to escape. He clearly still had some warm feelings towards her, and whether they were motivated by guilt or greed or genuine affection or perhaps a mixture of all three, Nerissa knew she could use them. But even just the thought of appeasing him or Dr. Galton even a little bit made her feel disgusted.
How could she do that after what they’d done to her, not to mention her mother, her father, and her brothers? Poor little Nicholas and Nathaniel. At least Aleksandr thought they were dead, that was something. Working with him and playing along might be the only way to keep protecting them. That was something to consider, but still, how could she? What would her mother say if Nerissa agreed to help Aleksandr and Dr. Galton?
“You’ve helped them before,” whispered a sinister voice in the back of her mind. “Remember…”
“No,” objected Nerissa, squeezing her eyes shut and refusing to listen to the voice anymore. “Go away. Shut up. Just shut up!”
“I haven’t said anything.”
Nerissa sat up in bed.
The voice seemed like it was coming from her own head.
But it didn’t seem sinister or cruel or judgmental. It also didn’t sound quite like anyone Nerissa had ever heard before.
Like a different person was speaking to her, but not just any person.
In fact…if Nerissa didn’t know any better…
…someone was speaking to her telepathically, through her mind. It was a sensation she hadn’t felt in years. But if the feeling was right...this wasn’t Aleksandr or Dr. Galton.
“Are you?” asked Nerissa, telepathically and very carefully. “Are you a child?”
“I’m twelve,” the girl answered. “My name is Claire Li. What’s your name?”
Bonus: Art for this chapter by seamstressofthestars
