Chapter Text
Edward Nygma has always expected to expect almost anything to happen while he’s live streaming, this is Gotham afterall. Though bumping into them, well having his home base broken into was certainly not what he was expecting could have ever happened, more fool him apparently.
For once Gotham’s pretty quiet, even the night sky is calm and Edward thinks that’s a good sign as he chooses to go live, has some updates for his dear listeners, a ploy that is developing in place but also knows there is a lot that those same nosey fans wish to know. He’s heard both hummings and stirrings in his own connections but also through other lines, Oswald’s been all of a flutter recently which has caused him to avoid the Iceberg on most occasions and not to mention the others who normally wouldn’t care.
Edward Nygma: Good evening my fine people of Gotham. Have you been missing me while I’ve been inactive, well inactive isn’t quite the right word because I’ve certainly been active, just not busy talking to you all. I have plans in place, though you must all understand why I’ve delayed them slightly. Your mutterings have been heard and they’re the same that my people too have been discussing and by that I mean my fellow rogues, all of them have been a flap of it as well, because apparently most can’t cope well with change.
No, chat. I can see you getting all sarcastic in there bully me and I have full rights to ban you and keep the money you’ve paid. Now if I play this voice note and you are at all insulting then I will come and get you, I would quite like a new subject to work in this puzzle that I’ve set up.
Gotham Civillian: I know you’ve been complaining ‘bout it all – but what’s your opinion about Red Hood. Me and my wife are pretty glad because it means we live in his territory over Black Mask’s and well, most things are better than living under him.
Edward Nygma: (Laughing softly) I agree with you, living under the control of a worm would be better then Black Mask, hell I would go as far as choosing Arkham over having to listen to him drone on and on and have the nerve to tell me what to do.
Must admit I’m pretty neutral on the topic right now, Harvey is sort of a friend of mine and so is Oswald – Oswald seems to be fond of the new Crime Lord and well, we all know Harvey is incredibly peeved but what the Crime Lords do really doesn’t affect me all that much. Though tearing Roman down a few pegs and giving Harv someone else to get angry about during game night has warmed the young upstart to me, things might change if I ever have to meet him in person though.
Edward’s words are stalled faintly by a loud cracking noise, not far from the sound of someone breaking a door down. He flinches sure, and the silence is poignant to his listeners but he shakes it off, plenty of less than savoury people around here and he has discovered that sometimes Harley has taken to breaking down doors if she can't be asked to find her key.
Edward Nygma: So yes, I’m glad dear listener you enjoy your new overlord but personally I don’t think I could spend any extended period of time living under any of them and I’m sure they’d mirror the statement right back at me. They just can’t understand my genius and the way it functions, not my fault they can’t see wonder when it’s in front of them.
Now he was polite, does this listener have anything good to say to me, for the rest of you to hear too I guess.
Gotham Civillian: Mr Riddler sir, oh it really is an honour I’ve spent months scraping money together to have enough to do this. I’m a big fan of you and your work, truly one of the best; but you’ve said today and many a time before that you couldn’t live under a Crime Lord so why not become one yourself.
Edward Nygma: Well while the honour really is all yours in this situation you’ve missed a key feature. While I certainly have the intelligence and skills to become a Crime Lord, I really cannot deal with all the people that would come with that, it’s bad enough the goons I currently have to work with for situations that require more than just myself and my compatriates refuse to join me in but having to run territory, lord no.
I am more than content just being the Riddler and not having to deal with the inconsiderate nature that is humanity more than I already have to – not to mention I am rather content with the friendship I have developed with Oswald and I know doing so would ruin that, I’ve also already got enough disagreements with the oaf that is ahem, Big Bad Harv Dent. (As he speaks the full name, the air quotes he does are practically audible)
So I’d really rather not have to push him further, Harvey is a wonderfully bright man and one I would consider a firm ally if it wasn’t for his more unstable other half.
It’s as if the comments, the not so thinly veiled insults are what causes it to happen.
The loud cracking of the door to Edward’s recording room being broken down, the swish of metal scraping across the door frame, and heavy boots.
??: Edward Nygma, I demand an audience of you and your listeners.
Edward Nygma: (Letting out what he’d call a rather indignant shriek)
??: Do not tell me you’re as pathetic as those other criminal scum – The Judge had higher hopes with you then that.
Edward Nygma: (Clearing his throat, voice comes out a little shakier than he’d want) I’m not pathetic, I don’t know where that sound came from but it wasn’t me. What I’m trying to say, Judge, is that I was not expecting to see you here, I was not expecting to meet you.
Judge: All of Gotham’s black bits will end up meeting me as I cut them out.
Edward Nygma: Right, cut them out… Are you meaning literally considering the fact you’re holding an actual sword, where do you even get one of those in Gotham? I thought the common folk and all adopted guns long ago, though I must admit it gives you style points.
Though you do lose some for calling me a black bit too, not cool.
Judge: Where I got it does not matter, it is a tool of Justice as am I. Your current use for me is to spread my ideals across Gotham, to help make others understand before it is all too late for them.
Edward Nygma: Now hang on a minute, I’m not some platform people can just manipulate and use! Go raid an actual radio station for that or something and not, I don’t know, are you holding me hostage? If so, very poor etiquette in my own house, something I’d not put past Harv.
Judge: (A low growling sound as well as boots approaching closer to the microphone) You are a wanted criminal, holding you hostage is not breaking the law – you may also not speak about him like that.
Edward Nygma: Right yes, because you’re one of them.
Judge: (Voice raising, not to a yell but loud and firm) Stop looking at me like that, I am not them and you will not be able to appeal to me to get access to them, I am not a part of them, I am simply trapped in this body by sheer irony by the universe.
Do not make it a mistake for me to have come here without the intention of hurting you, Nygma.
Judges words are hissed, and another soft whimper manages to slip from Edward’s lips as a loud bang of a sword hitting a chair signifies the fact that Judge has chosen to take a seat opposite, within perfect range of them.
Edward Nygma: Well, I hate to argue with the gentleman with a sword because he’s clearly not one to mess around, but you firmly are one of them, you are a member of the Two-Face otherwise you wouldn’t be able to stand before me.
Judge: I am going to look past your transgressions up until this point, but now I am informing you, do not mess them up again.
My name is the Judge, you may shorten it to just Judge.
I am trapped within the body of the Justice System but I am not a member of it.
And if it is all the same to you, I prefer neutral or feminine terms and pronouns.
Edward Nygma: (Soft but honestly) Well my genuine apologises for that, mam, but I still don’t appreciate you breaking into my home to try and hijack my own broadcast show.
Judge: You do not need to appreciate what I’m doing, I am trying to assess if you are one of the good ones who can be cleansed over being cut out of Gotham. It cannot keep functioning with the way it’s going, considering how it managed to corrupt their beloved and cleanest of DAs that Gotham has had since it arose from these filthy waters. A man filled with ideals despite everything that had happened to him growing up, what he managed to work past with…
Edward Nygma: I really don’t think Harvey would want you mentioning any of this to hundreds of people listening to my broadcast, Judge. I understand your point though, Gotham has a way of changing people.
Judge: (Humming softly) That is true, I will not spread his weaknesses to those who don’t deserve them, but what sort of city contently functions on the knowledge that the majority of the population has to choose which Crime Lord they should live under?
That they have more trust in vigilantes than in the law.
Edward Nygma: Let me just, eugh, let me come to the vigilantes’ defence for a moment – most of this god forbidden country would have more trust in vigilantes than the law, you Judge, despite your name and clear looks sake, you must know better than anyone how corrupt the system is, that even the best DA fell to Crime when he realised Justice wasn’t true and she certainly isn’t blind.
Judge: That is what I am here for Mr Nygma. Lady Justice cannot be blind within Gotham, a scale does not work for what we have but a sword certainly does.
A few beats of silence, Edward’s brain can practically be heard churning in his head before he speaks again.
Edward Nygma: And you see yourself as her, as Lady Justice come to cleanse Gotham?
Judge: (A content cooing to her tone) I do not see myself as her, Mr Nygma, I know I am a fragment of her. Sent to sort out this cess pit, so that Gotham stops her weeping. It is my own trial to be trapped within the body of another to cast my judgement.
Edward Nygma: But surely you’re doing the exact same thing as what you’re trying to stop, the criminals, the vigilantes, they all take law into their own hands and that too is what you are doing. There’s no trials, no lawyers to spread their cases, just the Judge taking one collection of evidence and acting upon it. What if you’re wrong?
What would that do to you if you cut out someone who hadn’t done wrong, or that was forced into it to defend the innocent, the people they care for.
Judge: You believe me stupid and hasty, I know you do not view many as reaching your own level of intelligence Mr Nygma – but what reason does a mad clown have to kill and maim simply for a laugh? What is the need of a boogeyman who leaves children and adults alike crippled with fear? What is the need of a bat who claims he’s justice, to pummel the mentally ill? What is the point of another bat with claws and bite, willing to kill for his own morals?
We know none of their morals, not truly, not who they are behind the masks, they could be anyone and yet people trust the vigilantes, they know who they want to fear.
Behind it all, behind all the masks they could be the same people.
Edward Nygma: (Stammering softly) Well that’s rather broad strokes isn’t it Judge, we don’t know your morals either…
Judge: You know my morals!
I wish to allow Gotham to keep breathing, to clean her up and cut the filth out, to remove the cancerous parts before she falls back into the water because that will happen sooner than any of you expect if you don’t do something now. I have been waiting, watching and know that now is the time to act before it is too late.
The only people who fear me, are the ones who know they should, that they have done wrong in their hearts.
Edward Nygma: So you’re the thought police? There’s a whole book which explains why that doesn’t actually work, even if everyone obviously took the wrong morals from that story to make gameshows, but I do love a good gameshow so I can’t complain all too much on that front. If that’s the case, surely Harvey deserved the scars that happened to him, the outing of his other half because they have always had the dark thoughts, just thought they could be successful and not need to use them.
Judge: I told you not to bring them up! We are not talking about them, they do not matter in this circumstance.
Edward Nygma: But you’re talking about masks, and you are wearing them like one.
A loud clattering can be heard, as if someone has stormed to their feet and instead of shifting forward and away from the chair, they pushed it back and hard to be able to do so. The scrap of a sword tip digging into wood flooring, as heavy breathing gets closer to the microphone, as Judge leans over it to pin Edward with an incredibly dangerous glare.
Judge: I too have been given my trials that I could never expect you to understand and I told you to not bring them up, yet you keep insisting on doing so.
What you are not, Mr Nygma, is as evil as you often suggest yourself to be.
You too are a broken man who had long since given up on the idea of the system, of any of the systems to give you what you needed, to save you from the life you kept ending up in – I may not bring up their father but I would have no shame bringing up your own. How he too laid his hands upon you, that you ran but your heart belongs here, stained by it’s water and you too had to come home.
Edward Nygma: Shut up, shut up, shut up! You cannot come into my home, demand space on my air waves and then insist on insulting me. On spreading my pain to people who do not need to know – it does not matter that my father beat me, that he saw me a liar and cheat because that was never true. You spoke of the trials you have been given, well I’ve had them too.
Right now I don’t care about your sword, get the hell out of my home and consider yourself banned from my space.
Another heavy beat of silence before a deep chuckle escapes Judge.
Judge: You have moxie, Mr Nygma. I have a feeling our paths will cross again and you will be glad for it – I do not deny you have had trials, far more than a man your age should have had by the times you had them.
For that I shall bid you a good night, there is enough light fighting the filth back inside of you.
With that, Judge’s footsteps can be heard fading, leaving the room, though not before Edward gets a thought, raising his voice as it peaks in the recording but so the fleeing figure can still hear him.
Edward Nygma: One thing you never clarified, that you never shared with us Judge. How long are you going to be here? How long – you say you’re not one of them okay, but how long until Harvey and Big Harv can live their lives again.
For a second it’s unclear if the silence is that Judge has already left, or if her response cannot be overheard from the distance, before a few steps.
Judge: Already wishing rid of me, Mr Nygma?
Edward Nygma: Well… not necessarily…
Judge: It is fine, I do know how to jest. I will be around for as long as I need to be, and even if they regain their lives, well I will still be here, watching and continuing my work – they have simply needed locking away so I can get around to doing what I must without them getting themselves hurt. So idiots do not take advantage of when they are fronting and I have had to take rest, but Lady Justice always sees and she will always survive.
Everyone will know that soon enough.
Edward Nygma: Is that a threat?
Judge: It’s a promise. If people see it as a threat then they clearly have reason to, I am not completely heartless, just trying to save Gotham before hers stops beating, before she’s strangled out.
Edward Nygma: You know, that sounds like it’s straight out of the Colony’s playbook, the justice Gotham needs because the law can’t touch it all, because they’re just as bad, no worse. At least we have the honour to know we’re not nice people.
Judge: (Once again laughing softly) I am nothing like them because unlike Batman I know what must be done, a real shame I cannot convince Bat that my crusade would be so much better, I could do with a Bailiff, especially with my associates forced to sleep.
Now I really must be going, you understand while you are my favoured visit of the night, you are not my only one Mr Nygma.
With that, footsteps once more and this time they continue long enough to show they’re leaving the house Edward has been calling home, even if he knows he’s going to need to leave. Only the sound of Edward’s laboured breathing can be heard, and he swears the panicked beat of his heart beat alongside it before he finally clears his throat.
Edward Nygma: Right well, honestly I don’t know what to say after that, I cannot work out if it is a good or bad thing that they appear to be fond of me but this is apparently the hand I have been dealt in this situation. As long as it means I’m not having to face the point of that sword I still have no clue how she got a hold of it. I thought Harv and his guns are worrying enough with his clear lack of gun safety but apparently this is worse.
Anyway, I think I need a good cold and heavy drink at the Iceberg, and maybe to ask a few more questions around to other people.
Oh, ahaha thank you to whoever just sent me strong whiskey money, it was unneeded because I know I could bribe a free one out of Oswald with what’s just happened but a second one I will not say no to, welcome to Gotham, she’s always shit more insane than you’d ever expect.
Hmm, okay I’ve not said good night yet I’ll listen to your voice note, I guess.
A clicking as Edward clicks it on.
Gotham ‘Civilian’: Trust this as much or as little as you want but Oswald has been informed of this altercation and let out one hell of an angry groan.
Your usual will be ready as soon as you turn up alongside that both you keep trying to paint green, have a good night Riddler.
Edward Nygma: (Can be heard just sort of opening and closing his mouth a couple of times) Well, I think I’ll trust you more than many considering the stupid posh accent you have, plus I’ll know soon enough if I turn up and still have to actually order something – no clue why you’d lie with that information though, and it’s certainly something I can picture our dear Penguin doing. Not impressed though, I have made no attempt to paint any of the Iceberg green, specifically because I then wouldn’t stand out as well and people wouldn’t be able to easily tell that I was there which is the opposite of what I want.
This was not the rant I was meant to be going on though.
Have a good rest of your night Gotham, I wish for many of you to not cross your own paths with Judge, though I fear she’s not as insane as many have been advertising – a problem because it then means there’s a clear plan and goal in mind, I won’t push because I have a healthy understanding that Riddler’s don’t get along with swords.
This is also a warning, to any of you other idiots I know, I will be less than kind if more people chose to get an interview by storming in like this.
With that Edward can be heard getting to his feet, first pacing around the microphone, almost keeping the same distance from it as he had the entire time of the stream, before the poor metal chair can be heard being righted. A soft huff slipping from Edward’s lips and something murmured that even the Bat won’t be able to pick up despite his many efforts when he finds he missed out on a stream – if asked, well Edward’s not going to repeat it.
His steps then draw back closer to the microphone, now just speaking into the other side of it.
Edward Nygma: Sleep tight Gotham, I do not know how long the Judge will be with us, but I just hope for everyone’s sake it ends well – not that I’m necessarily sure what that will look like.
With that final parting sentence, one not necessarily hopeful, the stream is brought to an end and Edward Nygma heads off to enjoy himself at the Iceberg for the evening. Definitely not trying to regain his nerve, because he swears none of it stressed him all that long.