Archive of Our Own ^beta

Luka strummed at his guitar as he sat cross legged on his bed. He frowned slightly, the notes were… off. He was always taking care of his instruments, so it had caught him off guard to have one so out of tune. He strummed it again, checking that his ears weren't playing tricks on him, but it was still there.

He dropped his hand and took a deep breath. Above him he could hear the muffled sounds of his sister, Juleka, and her friends on the deck of the Liberty. One voice in particular, that rang out like a melody in his mind. A melody he had been hearing since the day they had met. It was Marinette's voice.

How he adored listening to her voice; how she inspired him to make music. However, he had noticed that from the day they met that there was a part of Marinette's melody that was missing… or rather muffled. Luka had tried many times while he and Marinette were dating to complete that melody, so that he could play it for her. So she could hear what he does when he looks at her, but no matter what he tries, nothing fits quite right.

He knew that there were things that Marinette hid from him. He didn't really have a problem with that. Well, not at first. At first he had hoped that in time she would trust him enough to tell him that truth.

“The truth, Luka… is the only thing I can't tell you”

Her words still echoed in his mind even though it had been weeks since they had broken up and the worst part was that he still loved her. He yearned to be beside her; to be teaching her guitar, but even when they were so close to each other, there was always something between them. He initially thought it was Adrien. After all, it was an open secret that Marinette had a crush on Adrien for the longest time. Luka had hoped those feelings had faded when they were dating, but instead it just seemed like Marinette was constantly having to pick between him and Adrien.

It was only a few days ago that Luka realised that no matter what he would always be Marinette's second choice. Why? Because she was Ladybug and Adrien was Chat Noir. As his friends would say they are made for each other. Ladybug and Chat Noir. Creation and destruction. Yin and yang. Marinette and Adrien. Even their inner melodies seemed to be perfectly intertwined together to make beautiful music.

He had hated that he had to lie to Marinette that day, but she had enough pressure on her shoulders already and all he wanted was to make her happy. He would do anything to make her happy. No matter how seeing her in love with another person made his heart ache. He’d do almost anything to make those he loves happy, even if it ended up hurting him. Making them happy, made him happy. Though at the moment, making Marinette happy felt bittersweet.

Luka was glad they were still friends and seeing her almost always brightened his day, but it was only a matter of time; no matter who they were with, even if it was just the two of them, that Adrien would be brought up. Whether it be Marinette asking him for advice, or her friends asking how her and Adrien's relationship was going. It seemed like the only one who considered his feelings when the subject was brought up was Juleka; who always spared him a concerned glance. Luka, however, would play it off as if he was fine; returning his sister's concerned look with a small smile. He wasn’t completely lying when he would pretend to be okay with this subject. He was happy to give his friends advice and participating in conversations, but that
didn’t stop the pain in his heart, the tug in his gut or his own melody temporarily going out of tune when the couple did come up in conversation. He knew he couldn’t express these feelings to anyone, but Juleka, and especially not to Marinette. He didn’t want her to return to avoiding him like she did when they first broke up. Instead, he put those feelings into his music and continued being a good friend to Marinette.

However, Marinette being his friend didn’t stop the longing to hold her hand again. To kiss her cheek again. It didn’t stop him from thinking back on every happy memory that had made together while they were dating. Memories that kept him up at night. Memories that caused him to tear up if he thought about them too long. It didn’t stop the jealousy that swelled in his chest every time he saw Marinette with Adrien. They always looked so happy and Luka could help but think that it should have been him that made Marinette that happy.

The jealousy was the feeling Luka hated the most when it bubbled up within him. It always made him want to do something selfish and stupid. Like telling Marinette he still loved her and that he wanted to be with her again. He knew that wouldn’t be fair on her, after all, he was the one that actually ended the relationship, not her, and she was now dating Adrien and she was happy. He couldn’t turn her world upside down like that. So the jealousy ended up being another source channeled into his music.

Luka was pulled out of his thoughts by the harmonious sound of his guitar. He looked down and realised he had been tuning it the whole time, subconsciously. He strummed it again, more aware of the sound this time and it was clearly perfectly in tune. Luka smiled to himself, it felt like being honest with himself about his feelings helped in bringing his guitar back into tune. As well as his inner melody. He thought about it for a moment and remembered something he had always known. A person's inner melody was made up of everything within them. The good, the bad and the ugly. That’s what made those melodies so beautiful, because they were unique and genuine. This included Lukas own melody.

He realised that even though he had been honest with his friends about how he thought he was feeling, that he actually hadn’t been honest with himself. Therefore, he hadn’t been completely honest with them either. He felt a twang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Luka had always valued the truth and did not like the idea that he hadn’t been completely honest with himself. Fortunately, he had an idea to rectify it and at the same time completely process his feelings.

Luka reached for the notepad that sat on his bedside table, picking up the pencil along with it. He started to write a song; a mixture of notes and lyrics scattered across the page. Time passed without him noticing as he wrote and rewrote, sometimes even starting from scratch. Occasionally, he strummed the notes on his guitar to check that the melody worked. It wasn’t until Juleka stepped into their room that he even looked up from his page.

“Hey Juls,” He greeted, not bothering to try and hide the strain in his voice. “The girls left already?”

Juleka nodded.

“We’re gonna meet up tomorrow to study for our upcoming exam.” She mumbled, her eyes wondering of the scattered pages on Luka’s bed. “Are you writing a new song?”

Luka nodded; adjusting his guitar, so that he was holding it properly.

“It’s a work in progress, would you like to hear it?” He asked, anxious to have Juleka hear the song.

He knew if anyone would understand the message and feelings he was trying to convey it would be her. Juleka responded with a smile and sat on the edge of her brother's bed. Luka returned the smile, before taking a deep breath and began to play. He let his instincts take over and tried to pour all his recent thoughts and feelings out into the song. He closed his eyes when he felt tears start to prickle along the edges, trying his best not to cry.

There was a huge sense of relief that came with expressing all of this, all at once to someone. Someone he knew would understand and be comfortable talking about it with him, but Luka had always been better at expressing himself through music, so he continued to play.

When the song came to an end, Luka placed his guitar down on his bed before looking towards his sister with eyes brimming with tears.

“What did you think?” He asked, his voice breaking slightly.

Instead of answering Juleka wrapped her arms around her brother and gave him a tight hug. Luka leaned his head on her shoulder as the tears began to spill. His hands balled into fists on his lap.

“I truly love her Juls,” He whispered through quivering lips. “But I know she’ll never feel the same way about me.”

Juleka didn’t need to ask who he was talking about and instead continued to hold her brother as he quietly cried on his shoulder. She silently hoped that one her brother would get the love that he truly deserved.