Chapter Text
A clearing. A hill with a beautiful tree, a staff stuck in it, stretched out before me. Noble red with a golden tip, surrounded by a more golden glow.
It was unbelievable.
It was incredible.
It was...really weird.
I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes to make sure they were real. I even cleaned the lens on my shirt, but the image didn't change. Suddenly, I heard fluttering behind me. I recoiled in alarm, but immediately relaxed when I realized it was just a small, colorful bird watching me.
"Um…hi, little one?" I said with a nervous laugh, which surprised me.
The bird sat there silently, watching me. It looked like nothing I'd ever seen. Granted, birdwatching isn't something I practice. So presumably, this is some well-known species, and I'm just stupid for not knowing.
The bird still didn't move a bit. If I didn't know better, I'd even say it was staring at me angrily. Haha, an angry bird, kind of cute!
I tilted my head because I found it so strange, and he tilted his head too.
As this happened, I noticed that one of its tail feathers was particularly long. I felt a familiar feeling, as if I must have seen the creature before. I cautiously approached, wanting to inspect its rear end. Then the bird hopped away from me, seeming even grumpier for me. It kept its distance.
With a raised eyebrow, I dismissed it. I should be thinking about how I got here. All I know is how I got into bed and slept.
As if this thought had lit a lightbulb inside me, I stared down at myself. Dark blue socks with pink stars on it. Periwinkle purple pants and a dark blue shirt. It was my pajamas.
I took a sharp breath and stared at the bird. Its colors, its overlong tail feather, and then at the small protrusion where the staff was stuck.
"This is a dream!" I laughed.
Of course, that makes total sense! These things immediately seemed so familiar to me. It's like in Monkie Kid! Because I loved the show so much, I finally finished reading Journey to the West recently. The hyperfixation seems to finally be big enough for a dream about it. It looks exactly like the pilot, only more...real.
The bird tilted its head back on its wing as if giving itself a facepalm.
Is that really Sun Wukong? Am I honestly dreaming about Monkie Kid?
Grinning broadly, I walked past him toward the small hill.
The monkey-bird stood in my way, as if it wanted to stop me. I pushed past it. "Hey, I just want to have some fun, so leave it!" Then I climbed the small hill and stood in front of the staff, which was already slightly overgrown with plants.
"I can't believe it..." I breathed, my eyes twinkling. "Monkey King's Staff! The Great Sage Equal To Heaven! It looks so realistic and detailed...definitely the coolest dream I've had in a long time." Usually, when I know I'm dreaming, I wake up immediately. It's really cool that my mind is allowing me to savor it a little longer this time. "Ah, this is awesome!"
It was all so real, even the grass beneath me felt truly real.
"I wonder..." I carefully placed my hand on the staff. The bird flew over, sat down by the small tree, and watched me. I grinned at it. What would be the fun in telling it right away that I know who he is? No, I'd rather shock him with this now.
Completely confident, I felt the staff against my skin. It tingled. It was slightly cool but also felt smooth. Like wood. I had to grin like an idiot because I could hardly wait. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pulled. And it happened...nothing.
Disappointed, my eyes opened again. I stared up at the roof and spread my arms. "Oh come on, the dream doesn't have to be THAT realistic!" I sighed and watched the monkey-bird shake its head, at which I stuck out my tongue.
"Don't look like that, it was worth a try." But I was too stubborn and tried seven more times. The thing didn't budge a bit, as if it were firmly attached to the Earth.
"Stupid dream!" Frustrated, I kicked the staff. "OW! STUPID IDEA!" I held my throbbing foot and rolled down the small hill. Exhausted, I lay there until the fake bird appeared above my head. "Don't you dare laugh," I grumbled at him.
Suddenly, footsteps and words echoed from the distance, making me jump.
"Don't worry, Mother! Today is the day, today is the day, rely on me!" I heard an aggressive-sounding voice with a mama's boy streak.
"I hope for your sake, what you say is true…" was there a monotonous female voice afterwards.
I jumped because I recognized those voices. Could it be? If so, what should I do? Stay there and wait to see what happens? It's not like anything could really happen to me here.
The bird flew a bit, stopped, turned its head toward me, and I think I perceived a very slight nod. Man, that's got some serious uncanny valley vibes.
The aforementioned voices and footsteps were getting closer. But feeling a bit nervous, I followed the bird into a corner where I hid. I knelt down and covered my mouth when I realized who was coming. A woman and a boy with hairstyles that defied all the laws of physics, if I could put it that way. Followed by strange creatures that looked like a truly strange mix between a bull and a robot.
My eyes widened. I wanted to get closer, but the bird held me back with its wings.
He flapped his wings wildly and shook his head again, came very close to my face, looked me in the eyes as if he wanted to say something like, "Don't you dare move from here, do you understand?!" And then he flew up. Left me alone.
I swallowed. Maybe I should have said I knew who he was. Well, too late, I guess.
"It feels like I’ve waited an eternity for this moment…Is everything in order?" The woman said.
The aggressive sounding boy answered, "Just making the final adjustments, Mother."
In disbelief, I silently recited all the dialogue. It was exactly as I remembered it. Was I seriously dreaming about the plot of the pilot? Wow. I've had dreams where Monkie Kid characters appeared before, but experiencing the exact beginning of the show is truly unique. It was so exciting, I could barely blink.
"Finally, after all this time," the woman, I realized that has to be Princess Iron Fan, speaks again. "We have the means to lift Monkey King’s legendary staff."
I pouted, because I wanted too!
"My love will finally be returned, once we removed the staff."
Oh my gosh, I’ll see the real Demon Bull King? "Huh?" When she faltered I secretly peeked out of my hiding place where I saw one of the bull robots climbing up the small hill, trying to pull the staff just like I had done. Well, not quite like me. The guy lost his arms! If I hadn't kept my mouth shut, I would have squirted loudly for sure, that looked blatantly brutal!
"You fool. You think we didn’t try that already? It’s going to take more than a few robots to lift the Monkey King’s staff. Only those deemed worthy can wield it." Hey, does that mean I’m not worthy in my own dream? I mean, I’m definitely not a worthy person, but still, that’s boring. I would have liked to have grumbled even more, instead I swallowed my own spit when the boy's hand caught fire and he suddenly carried a kind of mechanical robot arm.
That was awesome as fuck!
"But I, Red Son, have designed this gauntlet to bend it to my will." Red Boy continued.
As he said this, I heard a strange noise above me. Cautiously, I dared to raise my head. What I saw left me open-mouthed. A fly could have flown in.
Not only was the camouflaged monkey-bird there, but I was staring into the face of an Asian boy hanging from a pole, threatening to fall, with a bag clutched in his mouth.
"Oh fuck," I whispered, as scared as if I'd been jump-scared.
Our eyes met.
His dark brown, almost black, eyes met my blue ones.
I must have scared him, just like he scared me. His eyes opened wide, as did his mouth, causing the bag to fall. He tried to grab it, but it fell right on me. It was hot, and a not-too-loud, hoarse, shrill scream escaped me.
"Huh? What was that?!" Princess Iron Fan exclaimed.
The boy I thought was MK clamped his mouth shut, just like me. We were both fighting what looked like a heart attack. He from above, me from below.
"You're already hearing ghosts, Mother, because we're so close to Father's resurrection!" Red Son shouted, sounding a little annoyed.
"Don’t get cocky, my son. Nothing is allowed to go wrong here!" warned the mother.
"Yes, yes..." the boy muttered annoyed. He went up to the small hill and got ready. He got to the staff and grasped it with the Power Glove. He struggled to pull it off. Like a teddy bear, I hugged the bag to me. There was a powerful wind, the ground was shaking, so I had to hold on. I was also shaking, with a bit of anxiety, because it began to feel pretty intense if I may say so. Then it happened, the staff was breaking free, just like in the show! "YES! I DID IT!"
That's better than seeing the show on a cinema screen, I thought excited.
The Bull Clone things were applauding, while the poor one without his arms looked down in dismay. Though nothing happened after this. Red Son held the stuff and that was it. "What?! Why isn’t anything happening?! Mother, are you sure this is the right mountain?" He asked.
"No, maybe it was that other mountain with a magical staff sealing away my husband!"
I didn't have time to laugh at the sarcasm. The ground began to shake again, more violently than before. It practically broke. Then a loud bang. A green energy radiated, and this time I couldn't help but scream, which thankfully went unheard through the chaos. A few stones flew into the air. If I hadn't held the heavy bag over me to protect myself, one would have hit my face! I rolled onto my back, a few meters backward, further away from the incident. Which was definitely for the best.
"Yes, Father! Rise! Rise!" The not so hot fire boy laughed.
Suddenly, the chaos was over. The shaking stopped. I slowly sat up, but now my whole body was shaking. The air I breathed was extremely dusty, making me cough slightly. It's strange; I can't remember when I've ever breathed so consciously in a dream. I didn't wonder for long; something else was more exciting.
A giant, I thought to myself in awe.
No, more like a monster!
Big as a house. Muscles like a wrestler. Glowing eyes. A broken horn. Something that looked beyond human and beast. Scarier than any monster in the closet.
He looked at himself. "Flesh. Bone. I have returned to the realm of the living."
It was so realistic, I could see every scar. My stomach pain intensified.
"No! Shoo! Go away!" I head just above me.
Oh fuck, It’s about to start.
"Oh, Demon Bull King! How I’ve missed you," his wife said with all her joy.
"Princess Iron Fan!" The bull returned the joy.
Damn, that's what I call a heavy couple.
Never thought about, but how did they had se—
"The years have been kind. How did you free me?"
She was about to answer when the son interrupted her. Full of pride, he held the staff in his hands. "Actually, it was I, Father. I moved the staff. I learned how to harness it, to make its power mi—" The ground shakes again as DBK stood above Red Son and his huge shadow covered him. "O-our power," he corrected himself fast, because that shit was terrifying.
"Excellent," the Bull King grinned, making Red Son laugh.
"Now, we, the Demon Bull Family, will plunge the world into eternal darkness!"
Just then MK fell on him.
He laughed nervously. "Hehe...sorry, the noodles are out."
"Get off me, you idiot!" Red Son pushed him off. "Argh, do you know what you did?! You ruined my moment!" I was still hiding. Trembled too much to make a loud.
Another quick earthquake when DBK joined in. "A little eavesdropper has fallen into our midst. It seems a waste to crush something so insignificant as my first act as ruler of this new world, but so be it." He wanted to crush MK under his bare foot.
Red Son stopped him. "Wait, Father."
"What is this?" He grumbled.
The son cleared his throat. "Waste not your energy on this peasant. Please, allow me to show you how powerful I have become in your absence!"
The father grinned with glowing eyes. "As you wish!"
MK took the opportunity and tried to crawl away, whispering something as he did so, but Red Son turned back to him. He bumped into the staff and was forced to stop.
"In some ways, you’re very fortunate, Noodle Boy! Not many insects are lucky enough to be stamped out by the Demon Bull Family!" Red Son told him, ready to bring him an end.
What am I doing here? I'm having such a crazy dream, and I'm just hiding? I can't believe it! If I can't pull this stupid staff, I'd at least like to be able to do something else.
I stared at the bag of noodles and a ridiculous idea came to me.
I stared at the demons and finally took a deep breath.
"Are you even listening to me?! I, Red Son, will not be disrespected! You—"
"SOMEONE ORDERED SOME NOODLES?" I shouted MK’s original line and throw the bag to Red Son, made him stumble by the sudden surprise.
"WHAT?!" Red Son cried.
"FUCK YEAH!" I screamed, stepping out of my hiding place with my fists raised.
All the attention was on me, but not in a good way.
"HOW DARE YOU, PAJAMA GIRL!" Fire erupted from his head like a volcano. It was both creepy and hilariously absurd.
The Demon Bull King growled loudly. "A second troublemaker? I see you seem to have had the situation perfectly under control during my absence!" His sarcasm mirrored his wife's. He aimed at me. "You should have stayed in bed!"
Just a dream, I repeated to myself, as my knees threatened to buckle at the sight. What's the worst that could happen? That I wake up? I can do this!
I burst out laughing. "Haha, do you really think I'm afraid of you, DBK?"
Princess Iron Fan grimaced. "What a foolish girl."
Demon Bull King approached me. Sweat was running down my face, but I kept my grin on.
I'll just wake up, at least I had some fun!
"What? I know you're weakened, Demon DULL King!" I laughed.
He clenched his fist. If I didn't know better, I'd say the air trembled.
"Shh! I think you should stop!" MK whispered to me in panic from the ground.
"Pff! Oh, come on! This isn't real, what's that bull trying to hurt me with?" I asked the group, amused. I even took a step closer to the demon, which surprised everyone present. I grinned broadly and pointed at his face. "It's not like your weird kid could hurt us, after all, you're wearing his Samadhi-Fire on your nos—"
"KEEP QUIET, YOU FILTHY MORTAL!" His gigantic fist shot toward me.
A huge bang sounded and dust swirled up, obscuring my vision. A wave of power nearly knocked me over. When the dust cleared and I could see again, there stood none other than MK himself. In his hands he held the staff that had caught the demon's fist. Otherwise, I would have been hit. My mouth fell open, very wide.
"No way!" Red Son shouted from behind. "How could you possibly lift Monkey King’s staff?"
MK glanced at me. His eyes shone. Were there really stars on his eyes? Then he stared at the staff. "Whoa," I heard him say. Almost as if he were realizing it himself and acting purely on instinct.
I stood there rooted to the spot. Did he save me? I stared at my feet and sucked in a sharp breath as I saw the many cracks beneath us, caused by all that force. The adrenaline in me subsided, replaced by only a very strong pumping heart. This wouldn't have happened to me if he had hit me...would it?
"This is impossible," Princess Iron Fan breathed out.
Demon Bull King lowered his fist. He frowned; it looked like he was going through quite a bit of trouble. No one but me could believe how it was possible. I had my own worries in the meantime.
I carefully clutched MK’s white shirt, feeling myself sweating more.
"I don’t what’s going on here, but I’m about to end it. That staff is mine!" Red Son was about to attack again, with every other one with him. It was like an hard game without hope to win.
MK fuggled around, I didn't let go. "I’m supposed to be on my break!" The staff reacted again. Another shockwave were sending Red Son and the Bull Clone robots away. The sharp air on my skin. The trembling ground. The fabric of MK's clothing. It felt very real.
"This can’t be," the Demon Bull King was saying what I was thinking in that moment.
"Um…" I began but didn’t knew what to say beside maybe peeing in my pants.
"That was way more explosive than I expected," MK said, sounding afraid like me.
Princess Iron Fang was hitting the ground with her magic fan. "Hm!"
MK was stumbling back and forth again. I tried to calm him down while holding on, but in the end I couldn't help but panic myself. "Stay back! I don’t know how I’m doing this stuff!"
"That staff doesn’t belong to little children. Hand it over," she talked to both of us.
MK and I looked at each other. Though I couldn’t say anything without whimpering.
"Mmm…no?" The staff plantet itself into the ground. "Okay, I didn’t even move that t—" The strong staff launched MK into the air…TOGETHER WITH ME!
WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK!
"WAHHHH!" My screams echoed as I clung frantically to MK, who was screaming along with me. "AAAAH! WHAT'S HAPPENING HEEEERE?!" I somehow screamed.
"WAH! I HAVE NO CLUUUUE!" MK screamed back.
"HEEEEELP!" We scream together.
It went back and forth, up and down. Fast and crazy, like a roller coaster. A horror roller coaster with no safety equipment and that could damn well kill you!
Eventually we got outside into the fresh air. I was too distraught to move. I just watched as MK grabbed me, threw me into his tuk-tuk, and drove off like a madman. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED!"
"I think I'm going to puke," I choked as he drove, leaning out the window.
"Oh, please wait until we stop, Pigsy will kill me otherwise," MK whimpered.
He drove wildly as if he were racing, which it soon became, because we were being chased.
"Alright, Noodle Boy and Pajama Girl, hand it over!" Red Son shouted with all his might.
"Quick, what should we do?!" MK yelled at me.
"Why are you asking me?!" I yelled back.
"I don't know either!"
I paused, thought of the canon, and pointed at his noodle orders.
MK followed my gaze and seemed briefly tormented. He then nodded to me with new self-confidence. "I’m sorry, valued costumer. You won’t be getting your noodles." Together we throw said noodles at the truck of Red Son, hitting his windshield, bringing him to explode.
"Fine! Have it your way!" And I mean he literally exploded in fire.
"Ah! You’re really scary!" MK and I said in sync.
The fire hit the back of the tuk-tuk, caused the staff to activate itself AGAIN and launched me and MK AGAIN to the sky. The tuk-tuk was falling on a building, bouncing us from building to building like some bootleg Spider-Man version.
"AAAAH!" We screamed again like an heart and soul.
Red Son still didn’t gave up, why does it even wonder me? I know that! "Would you two get down here so I can kill you?!"
Is he even for real?!
"Never!" We both answered in sync once more.
OH FUCK WE WERE FALLING INTO AN ACTUALLY BUILDING!
"I though that only happens in cartoons!" I yelled to hide my fear.
MK, still driving, managed to leave the building safe. He couldn’t help it but laugh. Smiling at me. "I think we lost him!" Too early happy. The tuk-tuk’s falling down completely breaking.
"I should have seen that coming," I deadpanned.
MK panicked. "Oh, come on! Come on, old girl! You got this! Oh don’t do this to me! Oh man, Pigsy’s gonna kill me."
"He’s not gonna kill you more than this one!" I panicked at the sound of Red Son’s truck.
"AH! COME ON!" MK just grabbed me and ran away.
Running away was winding and exhausting. Without the boy, I would have already given in. His sweaty, dirty hand held me firmly.
I didn't have time to pay much attention to my surroundings. Other than that, it was colorful. A complete opposite of the monotonous cities I'm used to. Everything looked much more...magical.
"Whoa, is that an real hoverboard?" I pointed to a boy in front of us.
"No, a cloud board!" MK answered in a rush. "And I think that’s gonna help us!" He runs to the boy and pushed him away. "So sorry! We really need to borrow this! Byeee!" So he takes the board and fly away with it. With me needles to say. "Hold on tight, girl I still don't know!"
I buried my face in his neck. I could still hear Red Son, but I couldn't even listen, let alone watch. I clung to the boy as if my life depended on it, which it certainly did. At the very least, I'd like to wake up peacefully and not risk it. DBK's fist was still embedded in my memory, making me shudder at the slightest thought.
"I'm coming to get the both of you. Noodle Boy and you too, Pajama Girl!" I hear laughing.
It was a wild chase that I tried to suppress. I secretly pinched myself during the flight, tried to secretly wake myself up, but the dizziness remained.
The next time I opened my eyes, the board was suddenly gone, and MK and I were free-falling in mid-air, with nothing to hold on to. We screamed again. I think I screamed louder than him, but in a screaming contest, we'd both surely be undefeated winners. I don't think I've ever screamed so many times and so loudly in a row in one day as I did right now.
"Ah! My glasses!" I screamed, and they fell off my face. I grabbed for them in the void. "Fuck!"
Everything was immersed in blur. Just colorful shadows.
"I got them!" I heard MK, then a crack. "...Oops."
"THIS IS THE END!" I cried tearfully.
"YES, EXACTLY!" Red Son laughed.
Suddenly, a green flash shot toward us, and honestly, after everything that had happened so far, that was the most normal thing! It just didn't stop me from screaming.
Through the green energy, I suddenly saw a person. They grabbed MK's wrist, who in turn grabbed my wrist. My arm hurt so much, it felt like it was about to tear.
At some point, everything finally stopped spinning. I lay groaning on the ground, and all the screaming had disappeared. I heard MK scream "Mei!" I wasn't particularly interested.
Instead, I crawled to the nearest street trash can and puked in it.
"So, that's why you shouldn't play with Lego at my age anymore, huh?" I croaked out.
Maybe that's a sign of my mind for watching far too much Monkie Kid…
"That was an intense game of tag! You guys looked like you were having so much fun. I wanted to join in too!" Mei announced as it were the most normal thing in the whole world.
"Actually, we’re almost died back there," I heard MK, sounding more nervously than before.
"But you didn’t!" Oh man, I would love to have this kind of optimism. "So let’s celebrate with a round of Monkey Mech!" Has literally everything a Monkey theme here?
"Wah!" I was startled when I was pulled away from the trash can.
Mei clamped herself on my elbow, tooled me to MK. "Your new sickly friend can join us!"
There was still a drop of vomit running down the corner of my mouth. "Um…"
"And you also should invite your new edgy friend!" She added, completely delusional.
"Yeah, he was trying to kill us," MK explained, smiling like he was about to faint away.
"Well, in that case…" Her voice lowered. She pulled her phone, where something like a death button was shown. "Where does he live?" She turned to me. "And was she involved?"
MK quickly stepped in front of me. "Oh, you're completely, totally, probably, maybe misunderstanding this. I actually don't know her. But Mei, this is suuuuper important! It's about this—"
"MK!" A new voice called out from across the street. The three of us turned there. I pressed my eyes into narrow lines, but could see nothing but a pink figure. My stupid blind eyes. Even though I could imagine who it was. "Where are you, you punk? You mind telling me why some bozo left a zero-star review on Pigsy’s Noodles?" He run towards us, very angry.
He was finally close enough for me to recognize him. A big snout. Droopy ears. And that was the most normal thing about him. Dressed like a chef. Actually, theoretically he looked exactly like he did on the show. But my jaw still dropped.
"A talking pig," I whispered in a rather shrill voice that went unheard due to Pigsy's anger. He was so angry, I think he smelled like cooking bacon. If this were a cartoon, steam would come out of his ears. Ironically, I remembered that I had eaten pork three days ago; the thought made me want to vomit even more.
MK fidgeted around. "Oh! Uh, yeah. So, uh, here’s what I think happened with that—"
"Woah, zero stars!" Mei said a bit to energetic for my taste. At least in a nightmare situation like this. "Congrats! That’s better than nothing, right?"
The talking big turned to her. "That’s not how it works, Mei!"
MK pushed my glasses into my hand, which had a broken temple, "SorryAboutThatStrangeGirlIStillDon’tKnowGottaGoByeee!"
"And you! I—" Pigsy wanted to talk to the boy now. "Where’d he go?"
He was already gone. With a speed that was inhuman. "MR. TANG!" We heard him. There was only his dust cloud. Y’know, like in cartoons.
"Don’t you run away when I’m trying to scold you!" Pigsy jelled, making me shudder. "Get back—" The door covering of the shop was falling down, cutting him off.
It was all too much for me. I clutched my shirt, blinking, hoping it would all go away. Everything stayed. Nothing changed.
"Really, that boy," Pigsy sighed. "I never know what to do with him when he's—"
I didn't even notice how he stopped in his sentences. Cause' I was trying to get my breathing under control. I was clutching my own shirt so tightly, I couldn't even let go. My feet were fidgeting like they usually only do in an classroom.
"…You okay, kid?" Pigsy was standing in front of me, all of a sudden.
I stared down at myself. My socks were completely filthy, smeared with mud. My clothes were covered in dust. My shirt was, I realized only now, soaked with sweat. It stuck to me in a disgusting way. It made my nose ache and made me gag. In my shaking hand, I held my broken glasses. My hair was standing on end. There was still vomit stuck to the corner of my mouth, and I did, in fact, pee my pants.
I looked the two of them dead in the eyes. Expecting destiny to just laugh at me at this point.
"Could I use the restroom, please?" I whined. "And have some tape?"