Chapter Text
Was it noticeable that Stan was panicking about this? Very.
His room was suspiciously clean, his bed was made, his lump of laundry that needed to be folded was shoved out of sight, and Cartman was hiding under Stan’s bed for “emotional support”. Stan was debating what CD he wanted to play in the background.
“Dude,” Stan walked over to Cartman’s spot under the bed, a CD in each hand. “Which one should I play?” Stan asked the boy under the bed.
Cartman peeked out from under the bed. “Well. I can’t see the CDs, dickwad.”
Stan rolled his eyes, mumbling something that sounded like “lazy bitch”. “Uhh, I have AM by the Arctic Monkeys,” He showed Cartman the first CD he had in his hand. “And Conspiracy of One by The Offspring.”
Cartman blinked. “So, you’re making me choose between gay and gayer?”
Stan scoffed at this. “Just pick one, assface.”
“Do the second one, it matches your homosexuality,” Cartman answered. Stan nodded, walking away to put the CD in the player. “I don’t want to hear some whiny British dudes complain about their sad love life.”
Stan laughed at that comment. That laughter died quickly when footsteps were heard coming up the stairs.
Stan felt like he was about to faint from nerves. Or was it nausea? Whatever it was, he shoved down his throat, alongside Cartman shoving himself back under the bed.
The door opened, Kyle walking in casually while greeting Stan. “Hey dude, what’s up?” the redhead glanced around the room, surprised by the cleanliness of it. “Did you clean in here or something?”
Stan let out an extremely awkward laugh, cheeks burning. “No! I mean– yeah, I, um– I got tired of it being so messy.”
Kyle raised an eyebrow, muttering “weird,” under his breath before sitting on the corner of the bed.
Stan stood there awkwardly, thinking about his next words for a brief moment.
“I got you something.” Stan told his crush. He grabbed the Target bag off the floor, sheepishly handing it to the redhead.
Kyle lifted his gaze off the floor, peering up at Stan. He took the bag from Stan with cautious hands, peering inside. ”You got me a diffuser?” The grin he had on his face was apparent in his voice.
Stan nodded, a smile slipping on his face without realizing. “Yeah, I–uh, I knew you wanted a diffuser for a long time, and I saw it and I thought of you. So, I bought it.”
Kyle stood up and walked over to his super-best-friend, giving him a hug. “That was really sweet, thank you.” He whispered, face buried in Stan's shoulder.
“I have something else to tell you” Stan whispered back.
Kyle pulled back to look at Stan. “What is it?”
Okay, it was now or never.
Stan took a sharp inhale before speaking. “I like you.” he blurted out. “Like, like, like you. I’ve had these feelings since forever, and I’m sorry if this fucks everything up, but I thought you should know. And because I've been going completely insane thinking about you. I like your smile and your laugh and the way–”
Kyle shut him up with a kiss.
Stan’s breath hitched, all his thoughts going into a grinding halt. The only thing he could think about was the boy in front of him, the boy he was kissing. Kyle’s hands were on his cheeks, the taste of strawberry lip balm infiltrating Stan’s mouth. Stan’s hands went up to the redhead’s hair, feeling dizzy from the euphoria he was feeling.
Kyle pulled away, just enough for the two to catch their breaths. “Did you get the hint?” he asked, voice still a little breathy.
Stan nodded, panting slightly from the kiss and the shock that still ran through his veins. “I think so.”
Kyle chuckled, a dopey smile on his face. “Good. I wanted to do that to you since I noticed you bleached your hair.”
Stan laughed as well, hands still buried in Kyle’s hair. “I did it for you .”
They were in their own little bubble until the sound of a loud squeal was heard from under the bed.
Kyle whipped his head around, staring at Cartman under the bed.
“What the fuck!?” He yelled, making eye contact with the boy under the bed, who had a phone in his hand.
Stan shut his lips tightly. In all honesty, he forgot Cartman was under the bed.
Kyle turned over to Stan, face red with embarrassment. “How do you explain that? ” he questioned the blond, hands moving from his face to his shoulders like he was about to shake the answers out of him.
Stan shrugged, being mildly scared of Kyle at the moment. “I kinda forgot he was there.”
The redhead looked at him, absolutely baffled. “How the fuck do you forget that you have a whole-ass human under your bed?”
Cartman just cackled from under the bed, looking at the two lovebirds. “You’re welcome for the emotional support, Stan!” he said between fits of laughter.
Kyle looked over at Cartman, face burning. “Emotional support!? You fucking filmed us kissing, fatass!”
“Actually…” Cartman paused for ‘dramatic effect.’ “I’m on FaceTime with Kenny. We saw the whole thing.”
“What!?” Kyle shrieked, lunging for Cartman with full intention to rip out the bastard’s hair.
Cartman screamed back, rolling out from under the bed with fear. “Kenny’s crying! He said that true love’s real!”
Kenny called out through the phone in Cartman’s hand. “You guys are so cute! True love is real! Me and Bebe bet how long you guys would stay in the closet, I’m gonna be rich! ”
Stan just stared, looking at the warzone which was his room.
Kyle looked at Cartman, tackling him with full force. “You’re so dead!” He yelled out, hands pulling his hair.
Stan decided to step in, pulling the redhead away from Cartman. “Kyle, baby, murder isn't legal.” he grunted out, arms hooked around his waist as an attempt to pull him off.
Cartman was laughing way too hard for somebody who was about to get their ass beat. Kenny’s voice rang out again. “Pet names already ? I’m screen recording all of this and writing a fanfiction about your guy’s future.”
Stan was able to pry Kyle off, who was still kicking his feet. “Let go of me!” he yelled out, still wanting to do harm.
“If I give you another kiss, will you stop trying to fight Cartman?” Stan asked Kyle, still holding him in the air. Kyle nodded begrudgingly, a soft kiss to the cheek making his face pink.
Kenny and Cartman squealed in unison, with the natural blond yelling out, “True love sighting!” through the phone. “I regret nothing .” Cartman said after Kenny.
Cartman got himself off the floor, dusting his arm as he did so. “Well, I’m out, fags.” As he walked away, he turned to Stan once again. “And you owe me big time, Stan.” He walked out of the room, Kenny yelling “bye, bros!” before the door shut, leaving the two there.
As Stan placed the redhead down, Kyle looked at him. “So… will you be my boyfriend?”
The blond nodded, feeling like the luckiest man on the planet. “On one condition.”
“What is it?”
“Don’t attempt homicide in my room again.”
moodboard for this fic here