Chapter Text
@PrivateFeedOfficial:
Heads up! This Sunday we’re going live for a test stream + Q&A 👀 We’re mostly checking the face-blur program so Blue and Gremlin stay private, but you’ll also get to bug Ground Zero with questions while he cooks.
—
Streamed live: Sunday, November 2 — 1:37 PM
Title: Private Feed Stream 1: Test Stream + Q&A
Duration: 1h 02m
—
Katsuki hated this already.
He leaned both hands on the edge of the kitchen island, jaw tight, glaring at the glossy black camera perched on its little tripod like it had personally insulted him. The stupid thing’s red light blinked steadily, waiting.
“Why the hell do we have to test this live?” he demanded, not looking at Hana but directing the words straight at her anyway.
@quirks4days: lmao Ground Zero is PISSED
@haru-nation: Haruki stirring the pot already 😭
Their PR manager leaned casually against the counter across from him, sipping coffee like this was just another Sunday. “Because editing and live-streaming use different processing. We need to know the blur program runs without a hitch in real time. Otherwise, if one of your kids wanders through by accident, their faces aren’t protected.”
Katsuki bristled, heat rising in his chest. “Then we don’t test it with them. I’m not putting them on camera.”
From his perch on the counter behind him, Haruki snorted. “Like we’d agree to that.”
Katsuki spun half around, glaring at his eldest. “Don’t start, brat.”
Haruki raised both hands in mock surrender, but his grin gave him away. The little shit was enjoying this.
“I didn’t say we were using the kids,” Hana cut in smoothly. “Relax, Dad of the Year. I’ll be the guinea pig. My face, my problem.”
Katsuki’s eyes narrowed. “…You’re sure?”
She tilted her head, giving him one of those tired looks that reminded him why she got paid too much money. “I’m not the one with death threats lurking in my inbox. Nobody cares if my face glitches on a test run. You pay me to worry about your image, not mine.”
Katsuki huffed but didn’t argue again. He couldn’t. She wasn’t wrong.
He crossed his arms, muttering, “Fine. But the second this thing lags—”
“—you’ll throw it out the window?” Haruki offered helpfully.
Katsuki jabbed a finger at him without turning around. “Watch it.”
@groundzeroed: THE TENSION HELP
@fanofgremlin: wait are they talking about blue and gremlin???
@izusdelulu: dad protecting his pups
Before Hana could fire up the test, the sound of tiny sock-feet pattering on tile broke through the tension.
“*****—!” Izuku’s voice came from down the hall, rushed but already too late.
Katsuki’s head snapped up just in time to see his three-year-old barreling toward the counter like a determined puppy. Toward right in front of the camera.
“Shit—”
Two things happened at once, Haruki dove off the counter like he was leaping into battle, arms outstretched, while Katsuki lunged forward. Izuku, a second too late, skidded around the corner, reaching.
Haruki managed to grab Taiga under the arms just before the kid could crash into the tripod. Katsuki’s hand clamped around the back of the boy’s shirt, hauling him back upright. Izuku steadied them both, breathless, curls falling into his face.
@bluegremlinfan: WAS THAT GREMLIN?
@hero-watcher: I HEARD LITTLE FEET
@cameraroll: HARUKI SACRIFICED HIMSELF LMAO
“Not the kitchen,” Katsuki snapped, heart thundering. He set Taiga down firmly, his hand still on the boy’s shoulder.
Taiga blinked up at him, wide-eyed, then grinned, utterly unbothered. “I was racing!”
Haruki wheezed, still crouched on the floor with one hand braced against the tile. “God. He’s gonna kill me before the villains do.”
Izuku gathered Taiga against his side, brushing a hand over his hair. “Let’s play in the living room, okay? Away from the camera?”
Taiga pouted but nodded, already distracted as Izuku guided him out.
Katsuki turned slowly back to Hana, his chest still heaving. “This is exactly why I said we’re not testing with my kids in the damn house.”
Hana raised both brows, unflinching. “Point taken. Let’s run it now while your guard dog is out of the frame.”
Haruki groaned from the floor. “I am not a guard dog—”
“You dove headfirst off the counter,” Katsuki cut him off. “Shut up.”
@bakugobangz: LOLLLL
@fanfictionnerd: this is better than tv
He stalked back to the island, watching as Hana leaned into the frame. The blur kicked in instantly, her face fuzzed into a nondescript oval.
“See?” she said, her distorted features turning to him. “No problem. We’re good to go.”
Katsuki studied the screen, unwilling to relax until he was satisfied. After a few seconds, he gave a grudging nod. “Fine. It works.”
Hana grinned, stepping back. “Which means we can actually start the Q&A now instead of arguing about it.”
Katsuki groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Why the hell did I agree to this?”
Haruki climbed back onto the counter, smug. “Because people love you.”
“Bullshit.”
But the red light on the camera blinked steadily, and the chat feed was already filling in rapid-fire on Hana’s laptop. No backing out now.
The questions started easy enough. Hana scrolled, reading aloud as Katsuki half-listened, arms crossed.
“‘What was your experience of being a teen dad?’”
Katsuki’s spine stiffened. He hadn’t expected that one so fast. His mouth opened, then shut again.
Haruki was watching him, head tilted, waiting.
Katsuki exhaled slowly through his nose. “Hard. That’s it. Don’t recommend it to anyone.” He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting away from the lens. “But… worth it. Every damn second. Wouldn’t trade it.”
@boomfan: 🥺🥺🥺
@groundzeroed: he’s so real for that
@greenbeanlover: izuku looking at him like that im crying
Haruki ducked his head like he was hiding a smile, and Katsuki felt his chest loosen just a fraction.
“‘How did you and Izuku meet?’”
Katsuki snorted, finally smirking. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. Grew up together. He followed me around like a damn duckling. He’s been annoying me ever since.”
From the hallway, Izuku’s voice floated back: “I heard that!”
Katsuki smirked wider. “Still does.”
The chat lit up faster, hearts and laughing emojis scrolling like a flood.
@delulucrew: childhood friends to lovers trope REAL
@bakudeku4life: HE SAID GREW UP TOGETHER AHHHH
@spicyboom: ‘annoying me ever since’ = true love confirmed
Hana’s lips twitched as she read another. “‘How did your friends react to meeting your kids?’”
Katsuki leaned on the counter, remembering. “Depends. Half of them cried, half of them tried to act cool and failed. Kirishima cried. Like, ugly cried. Denki dropped a baby bottle on his foot and cried too, but that doesn’t count. Mina screamed because she thought the kids were so cute.”
Haruki snorted loudly behind him. “You’re outing them on livestream.”
“Damn right.”
Hana scrolled again. “‘Why did you change your hero name from Dynamight to Ground Zero?’”
That one hit a nerve, but Katsuki didn’t dodge. “Because it wasn’t mine anymore. Dynamight was the kid who thought explosions were enough to win. Ground Zero… that’s me now. Where the fight starts. Where I end it.”
For once, the chat slowed.
@heroanalysisfan: HE SAID IT SO CASUALLY 😭
@izusdelulu: izuku definitely helped him pick it tbh
@quirknerd: you just KNOW he did
Haruki let out a low whistle. “That was kinda badass, Dad.”
“Shut up,” Katsuki muttered, but his ears burned.
The kitchen smelled like garlic and sesame oil by the time the next round of questions started. Katsuki had slipped into his comfort zone—knife in hand, pan heating behind him, the steady rhythm of prep calming the restless edge that always came with being on camera.
Haruki perched on the counter again, one leg swinging as he peeked at Hana’s laptop. “Chat’s going crazy,” he reported with a grin. “Half of them want you to yell, half of them want you to kiss Mom on stream.”
Katsuki froze mid-chop. “Not happening.”
@bakudekubrainrot: HE DIDN’T DENY WANTING TO 😭
@boomfan: he’s BLUSHING HELP
“Anyway,” Hana said quickly, smothering a laugh as she scrolled. “Here’s one, ‘Will we ever get a face or name reveal of the kids?’”
“No.” Katsuki didn’t even look up. His knife kept moving, crisp against the cutting board. “Not now at least. Maybe when they're older and can actually decide they want to, but for now it's a no. They didn’t sign up for the shitstorm that comes with me.”
@izusdelulu: he’s so serious about protecting them im 🥺
@groundzeroed: respect. king behavior.
The camera caught Haruki's grin as he gave the lens a mock whisper. “Protective dad alert.”
Katsuki snorted. “Damn right. Next.”
Hana nodded, satisfied, and moved on. “Okay—‘If you weren’t a hero, what job would you have?’”
Katsuki huffed, scooping the chopped vegetables into a bowl. “Chef. Easy. Or maybe combat trainer. Something where I still get to yell at dumbasses who don’t know what they’re doing.”
“Wow,” Haruki deadpanned. “Truly branching out.”
“Shut up.”
@noquirknerd: lmaooo he’s so consistent
@chefboom: cook book when 👀
Hana leaned forward again. “‘What song do you put on repeat when you’re working out?’”
Katsuki smirked, tossing the veggies into the sizzling wok. “Depends on the workout. But if I need to push through, it’s ‘Kingslayer.’ Loud as hell. Gets the blood pumping.”
Haruki groaned. “You’ve blasted that at six a.m. before. The walls shake.”
“Good. Builds character.”
@metalheadfan: GROUND ZERO TASTE 🔥🔥🔥
@haru-nation: haruki suffering for our sins lol
Hana scrolled, then grinned. “Ooh, this one’s for Haruki—‘What’s the dumbest thing you’ve caught on camera?’”
Haruki lit up instantly. “Oh my god, easy. Dad walking straight into a glass door. Like, full stride, nose-first. I’ve never heard a thud that loud in my life.”
“Hey!” Katsuki spun, spatula raised like a weapon.
Haruki cackled, ducking away. “I still have the recording, chat. Never deleting it.”
@glassdoortruthers: POST THE FOOTAGE 😭😭😭
@bakusufferclub: haruki’s blackmail folder is real confirmed🤣
Katsuki muttered under his breath as he turned back to the stove, ears hot. “Brat.”
“Moving on,” Hana said, amused. “Here’s a sweet one. ‘What’s your favorite thing about Izuku?’”
Katsuki nearly dropped the spatula. His grip tightened, shoulders stiff. “…The hell kinda question is that?”
“An honest one,” Hana said.
He stared at the sizzling food, jaw working. The chat was flying too fast for him to look at. Finally, he muttered, “Everything. Idiots.”
Haruki’s grin softened into something smaller, warmer.
@greenbeanlover: CRYINGGGGGGG
@bakudekubrainrot: FAVORITE LOVE CONFESSION EVER
@izusdelulu: he said EVERYTHING im gone
“Okay, balance it out,” Hana said, eyes glinting. “‘What’s the most annoying thing Izuku does?’”
That one was easier. Katsuki slammed the spatula down and turned, scowling at the camera. “He takes notes. On. Everything. I can’t sit down without him analyzing my fighting stance like I’m one of his homework projects.”
From the hallway, Izuku’s voice called faintly, “You’d have bad knees by thirty if I didn’t!”
“See?!” Katsuki barked, pointing toward the hall. “Never stops!”
Haruki was doubled over laughing.
@quirknerd: LMFAO
@momdefenseforce: Izuku's just trying to keep him healthy 😭
“Alright,” Hana cut in before Katsuki combusted. “‘How did you two end up together?’”
That made him pause again. He leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, spatula dangling loosely in one hand. “…We were stupid kids. Bonded too young. Screwed it up a hundred times. But he never let go. Neither did I.” His gaze flicked toward the hall where Izuku’s voice had come from. “Guess we figured it out.”
@childhoodfriends2lovers: THIS IS SO REAL
@boomfan: HE SAID THEY NEVER LET GO IM SOBBING
“Here’s one,” Hana continued gently. “‘Do you ever watch his analysis work and get impressed?’”
Katsuki rolled his eyes, but there was no bite in it. “Of course I do. He’s a pain in my ass, but he’s smart as hell. Half my wins come from his strategies. Don’t tell him I said that.”
“Too late,” Haruki sing-songed.
@strategistfans: POWER COUPLE ERA
@groundzeroed: parents hyping each other up omg
“‘How did you pick Haruki’s name?’” Hana read.
Katsuki actually smiled at that one, just a little. “Izuku picked it,” Katsuki said finally. His voice dropped a little, softer than before. “Said it meant ‘sunlight.’ Back then… things were dark. He was dark. Depressed as hell after everything. But he said when Haruki was born, it felt like there was light in his life again. So he gave him a name that carried that. Sunlight.”
The room went quiet.
Haruki’s ears burned red. He ducked his head, voice low. “That’s… actually nice.”
@namenerds: IZUKU PICKING NAMES 😭
@haru-nation: SUNLIGHTTTTTTT
@cryingoverthis: Fuck we have to bring back calling Haruki sunlight
“‘Who is everyone’s favorite hero?’” Hana asked.
Katsuki didn’t even pause. “All Might. Always.”
Haruki swung his legs from the counter, shrugging. “Mine changes a lot. Right now? Probably Fat Gum. He gave me free takoyaki once.”
Katsuki snorted. “Figures.” He set down the knife and added, “Gremlin’s obsessed with Mirko and Nejire-chan. Blue’s stuck between Red Riot or Froppy.”
He wiped his hands on a towel, shaking his head. “Of course nobody likes me as a hero.”
From down the hall, Izuku’s voice carried back, indignant: “I like you as a hero!”
Katsuki smirked at the camera. “You don’t count.”
The chat exploded.
@marriedenergy: izuku yelling in the background IM CRYING
@groundzeroed: no one likes me → izuku: im your #1 fan
@herofans: THE KIDS HAVE TASTE
Hana scrolled again, eyebrows up. “‘Why did Haruki pick a more feminine suit for the hero gala?’”
All eyes swung to Haruki. He blinked, then straightened, a little defensive. “Because I liked it. It looked good. Why’s that even a question?”
Katsuki shot him a sharp look. “Damn right it did. You wore what you wanted. That’s it.”
Haruki relaxed, smiling faintly.
@slayqueen: HARUKI SERVED IDC
@dadbackup: katsuki backing him up immediately 🥺
“Okay, this one’s funny,” Hana said, grinning. “‘What’s the most embarrassing date you guys went on?’”
Katsuki groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
Haruki perked up. “Storytime.”
Katsuki scrubbed a hand down his face. “Fine. It was supposed to be a picnic. We dragged all this food out to the park, laid the blanket down, everything. Five minutes in, the sprinklers turned on. Whole damn thing soaked. We had to run like idiots carrying soggy rice balls.”
He scowled at the cutting board, clearly not interested in saying more.
The chat was already spamming crying emojis.
@gremlinwatch: SPRINKLERS LMAOO
@groundzerotrash: pls tell me he fell 🤣
Before Hana could scroll, Izuku’s voice came from the hallway, muffled but unmistakable. “Katsuki, that’s not the full story!”
Katsuki froze. “Don’t—”
Izuku padded in anyway, Taiga on his hip, curls sticking up like he’d been laying on the couch. “He forgot to mention he tripped on the blanket while we were running and face-planted. In the mud.” Izuku’s smile was all teeth. “I had to drag him up before the sprinklers got him again.”
“Don’t tell them that!” Katsuki barked, ears red.
Haruki nearly slid off the counter, howling with laughter. “Dad got wrecked by PARK SPRINKLERS. Oh my god.”
@haru-nation: DEAD DEAD DEAD
@bakudeku4life: IZUKU RAT HIM OUT 😭
@boomfan: the romance of dragging ur angry bf out of the mud
Katsuki stabbed the air with his spatula. “That story dies here.”
Izuku just pressed a kiss to Taiga’s hair, eyes sparkling as he walked away. “Sure, Katsuki.”
“Last one,” Hana said, still laughing. “‘Do you want more kids?’”
Katsuki froze, spatula hovering over the pan. Slowly, his gaze flicked toward the hall again. He could hear faint giggles—Izuku corralling the little ones.
“…Maybe,” he said finally, voice low. “If Izuku wanted to. But I’m not gonna push it. We’ve got enough chaos.”
@delulucrew: MAAAAAYBE????
@chatgremlin: blue would riot lol
Hana closed the laptop with a snap. “And that’s all we’ve got time for, chat. Ground Zero has to feed his family.”
“Finally,” Katsuki muttered, plating the stir fry with practiced efficiency.
Haruki slid off the counter, still grinning. “You survived, Dad. Kinda.”
Katsuki flicked a grain of rice at him. “Brat.”
The camera’s red light blinked steadily, then cut out.
For the first time all evening, the kitchen felt quiet.
—
The camera clicked off with a soft chime. Silence settled into the kitchen, broken only by the faint sound of Taiga humming to himself as he stacked toy blocks in a different room.
Izuku leaned over the counter, smiling at Hana. “You’re staying for dinner, right? There’s plenty.”
Hana shook her head as she slid her tablet back into her bag. “Tempting, but no. I’ll leave you guys to the circus. Besides, I’ve got reports to file.”
“You sure?” Izuku asked again, earnest as ever. “It’s no trouble—”
“Positive,” she said, waving him off. “Though I expect leftovers as payment next time.” She glanced at Katsuki with a smirk. “Good job not blowing up the stream, by the way. Character development.”
Katsuki grunted, too busy setting the table to answer, and Hana laughed her way out the door.
A few minutes later, everyone was gathered around the table. Taiga wiggled in his booster seat, already reaching for the rice. Yuzuki tried to copy him, and Izuku shot them both a look before serving small portions onto their plates. Haruki leaning back with his chopsticks and sighing like he hadn’t eaten in years.
Everything was quiet. Just clinking dishes, low chatter, and the comfortable weight of family.
Katsuki let the moment stretch, then glanced at Haruki. “So,” he said, casual but pointed, “your birthday’s coming up. What do you want to do?”
Haruki froze mid-bite, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. He chewed slowly, stalling, and then shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “Uh… I was thinking… maybe something kinda big this year?”
Izuku tilted his head, curious. “Big?”
“Not huge,” Haruki rushed to explain. “But—like, invite everyone. Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Mina, Uncle Eijirou… all of them.” His ears turned red, and he ducked his head. “And, uh, maybe stream it. Just so my friends at UA can tune in. The ones who can’t come.”
The table went quiet for a second. Even Taiga paused, spoon hovering in midair.
Katsuki raised a brow, lips twitching like he wasn’t sure if he should smirk or scowl. “So that’s why we had to waste a Sunday testing the blur shit.”
Haruki winced. “...Maybe.”
Izuku’s hand landed gently on their son’s shoulder, smiling. “That’s a wonderful idea. It’ll be safe now, thanks to Hana’s program. And… I think everyone would love to see you celebrate.”
Taiga piped up, mouth full. “Cake!”
“Obviously cake,” Haruki said, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling.
Katsuki leaned back, watching them all with something tight and warm in his chest. The world outside could wait—right now, it was just them.